Remember Me
Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
It was the sound of shouting that broke Buffy out of her musings and guided her attention back to what was happening on the inside. Struggling to her feet and wiping away some wayward tears, she opened the door and stumbled in.
"What the bloody hell is she thinking!" Spike.
"You're lucky you're alive boy." Angel.
"Angel, Spike. Do calm down. I'm sure Buffy had her reasons." Giles.
Lindsey. They were fighting about Lindsey. Striding into the living room, she took in the scene of Lindsey trying hard to stand his ground with a menacing Spike and Angel snarling, growling and sneering at him and Giles, poor Giles, trying to put some decorum back into the room.
"I do have my reasons for what I did. I'm thinking he is our ally and that we're going to need all the allies we can get to fight Quentin Travers, and I think he knows he's lucky he's alive," Buffy announced. She looked apologetically at Giles for leaving him with the Quickdraw Twins. She briefed a glance over at Lindsey who looked incredibly grateful and relieved by her presence.
She made her way over to Lindsey and stood next to him, straightening herself to stand up tall, and looked directly at the vampires.
"Look, Lindsey's sorry—"
"Oh, he's SORRY. I feel better!" Spike snapped.
She glared at him. "As I was saying. . . What he did it wasn't. . . ideal."
The vampires simultaneously snorted.
"However," Buffy continued, ignoring them, "he didn't really have much of
a choice. Just look at what Quentin did. Do you really think he'd have let
Lindsey just go if he objected? No, in fact, his wrath would have been much
worse. Without Lindsey who knows if I would even be standing here right
now. Who knows if we would have found each other at all. Who knows if you
wouldn't be twin piles of dust. Yes, he did have a hand in Quentin's sick
plans, but without Lindsey there to protect me—" she pointed a finger at
Spike who was about to open his mouth—"And yes, he DID protect me,
Quentin would have gotten his claws even deeper in me. Without Lindsey,
I'd be nothing but a lab rat and an automaton like Slayer. Or, I'd be dead,
having slashed my own wrists." Spike and Angel looked quite startled and
disturbed by that remark. "So you see, having Lindsey there to look out for
me helped me. Without him, I never would have met Giles, ergo, you never
would have found me. His hands were tied. If he'd spoken up and led you to
me sooner, Quentin probably would have offed us both. He protected me. I
know it's in a bizarre, kind of underhanded way, but just the same. He did.
He's not the enemy." She looked at Lindsey then. Saw the man with insecurities and worries, saw the man that was trying to make amends and be good and she felt for him. How could she cast stones at him? How could they, in all honesty? Buffy distinctly remembered a time that Spike was feeling extreme guilt over the things he'd done pre-soul and she recalled times that Angel had gone through the same bout of torment. The important thing was that Lindsey knew what he did wasn't exactly right, and he was now trying to rectify those wrongs.
"Don't forget that he had the option to help me escape, my memories still skewed. He could have taken me and run off. But he didn't. He told me the truth. He gave himself over to us. I know you don't want to hear it, and I know you don't like it, but he's probably the only hope we have in getting to Quentin right now."
She stared Spike and Angel down, daring them to argue with her on this.
Finally, Angel let out a heavy, unneeded sigh. "Well then. I think our first
plan is to have him call Quentin and let him know that he and Buffy are out
on a Slayer/Watcher excursion and will be back soon. Then, I think we
should come up with a plan and perhaps train a bit. What do you all think?"
Buffy beamed at him and ran to him, threw herself in his arms. "Thank
you," she whispered.
A few hours later, Buffy let herself drop, exhausted, on the mat of Giles'
training room in the cellar of his home. She could feel the sweat drip off her
and she lay there, staring up at the ceiling as Spike and Angel ran to
revitalize themselves with some blood. They hadn't come up with a
complete plan, and whatever frustration they felt over not agreeing on
anything, they'd taken out in sparring.
"Thank you Buffy. I know that I lost a lot of your trust and I'm not your
favorite person. Thank you for sticking up for me."
Buffy opened one eye to peer up and see Lindsey still in the room with her.
He'd finished putting the weapons away and was sitting in a chair across the
room. She noticed he had blood on his arm, seeping onto his shirt.
She bolted up. "Lindsey. You're hurt. Did you even notice?" She scurried
over and started to inspect the wound, lifting his Tshirt. It looked like he
got knicked by a knife. "Let's get some antiseptic on that," she murmured
and went for the conveniently placed First Aid kit on a shelf in the room.
She started rummaging for bandages and antiseptic.
"Not used to this side of you," Lindsey said softy as he watched her.
She looked up at him, giving him a wane smile. "I know." She moved to
him and started to clean his wound. "That Buffy was not me. I suppose part
of her is me, the dark part of me. I don't like to be there though. I have no
real reason to be. Oh, I was in a dark place after my mom died, and I
suppose I would have gone deeper, except I had—"
"Your mates," Lindsey supplied gently.
She looked up at him. "Yeah, I had them." She smiled. "They weren't
always my mates. That came later. . . much later. We didn't even become
lovers—you know what? That's a whole other story and you don't need to
know about it." She carefully applied gauze to his arm.
"I don't think Spike was trying at all to be careful and not hurt me,"
Lindsey winced as she applied pressure with the tape.
Buffy nodded, "you're probably right. I'll talk to him."
"You don't have to. I expect it."
"I'll still talk to him. There. All set." And she smiled at him.
The expression on his face was one of tenderness and love. "I really like
this Buffy," he whispered.
Buffy stepped away from him and busied herself with putting away the
first aid supplies. He slid from the chair and stood away from her, seeming
to know to give her space.
"Buffy. . . do you think if circumstances were different. . . ?"
Turning, she cocked her head to the side. "Do you really think I should
answer that?"
He chuckled nervously, scratching his head and looking down. "Yeah,
you're right. I'm uh. . . going to get something to eat."
Sighing, Buffy hobbled up after him. It was time to shower and God help
anyone who was in her way.
This time Buffy lay on her back on the bed she was sharing with Spike and
Angel. No wonder she felt so tired, she thought gazing at the restraints
tossed to the side of the room. She'd had a full 24 hours. From being scared
and confused to being safe once again. And the worry, the worry was
preying on her. Worry for Spike and Angel, for Giles, for Lindsey and for
herself. Would they be able to fight Quentin? What would he do? Did he
suspect anything? Lindsey said he'd seemed cheery when he'd called. He
said he wasn't suspicious of anything, only concerned as he hadn't seen
them for a couple days. Lindsey was a smooth talker though, he managed
to assuage Quentin. Buffy couldn't help but wonder though. Quentin wasn't
dumb, he was a suspicious man. As well he should be considering the number of enemies he most likely had. Whatever they were going to do, they had to do it fast. Time was on their side for a short while and if truth be told, Buffy was itching to get it over with so she could stop the worry and focus on getting life back to good. She wanted to be home with her mates. She wanted to go to class and work in the gallery. She wanted to come home to Spike and Angel and watch TV and eat pizza. She wanted to cuddle up to them at night and make love. She wanted simplicity and normalcy back. Back to fighting vampires and demons. Not psychotic humans playing God.
"Hey kitten," Spike greeted her softly, laying down next to her, freshly showered and in his black satin bottoms.
She turned to look at him and smiled. "Hi."
"Feel better?" he asked, running his fingers through her damp hair.
"Yeah. Angel wasn't too mad that I beat him to the shower was he?"
Spike chuckled. "Nah. He lived. I think it was when I cut in after you that
he got pissed."
She laughed. "You're so mean."
"Well, I am the Big Bad," he boasted, pulling her into his arms.
"The Big Bad needs to not hurt Lindsey when we spar," she told him
gently.
He tensed. "Buffy. . . "
"I mean it. Please Spike. For me, okay?"
He sighed. "I don't understand it why you protect him."
"Because he protected me," she told him simply.
"Fine. I won't take out my anger on him."
"Thank you. Take it out on Quentin. He's the true monster."
"Who's the true monster? Spike for taking all the hot water?" Angel asked,
striding into the room, toweling his hair.
Buffy giggled as she watched Angel toss the towel on a chair and crawl into
bed next to her. She lay back on her back.
Angel pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "Sweetheart. . . " Angel started.
"Yeah?"
"What you said earlier today. It's been nagging me."
"What did I say? I said a lot today."
"About slashing your wrists."
"Oh."
Together, Spike and Angel grabbed a wrist and stroked their thumb across
it gently. She grinned and wondered if they knew they just did the same act.
"Yeah. ‘Oh'. Did you really feel that way?" Angel asked, concern laced
thickly in his tone.
She nodded, still looking up. "I did. I was cold and dead inside. The only
thing keeping me going was revenge. I wasn't so sure that if I finally had
that, I'd stick around. I was just trying to keep my head above water and
failing miserably. That's part of the reason why I defended Lindsey. He
knew. Somehow, he knew and he did everything he could to help me. I
didn't make it easy on him."
"Pet, did that Buffy. . . did she. . . ?" Spike asked carefully.
She looked at him, "Love him? No. Not in the way he wanted ‘her' to. She didn't allow him to get very close to her. She didn't want anyone close to her."
Spike nodded, his expression sad. "Hate to think of you in pain," he
whispered.
She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his mouth, then turned to Angel to
do the same.
"How about you two? Did you guys get along or were you at each other's throats the whole time?" Buffy asked, gazing back up at the ceiling, bracing herself for the answer.
The silence that followed was all the answer she needed. She sighed. "Guys. . ."
"Ssshh…" Angel leaned over her and pressed a kiss to her mouth. "Buffy it's all right. Spike and I. . . " He looked over at the younger vampire.
"We're all right."
Buffy realized he wasn't going to elaborate and she didn't press him anymore for information. Instead she let him kiss her and she was hit by the fact that without her Spike and Angel had found understanding. More so than before. They'd bonded, just the way she'd wanted them to. Maybe it took a while to get there, but it had happened nonetheless. She didn't really need to know the details, all she needed to know was they were bonded now. What had happened between them would stay between them and be theirs. Finally something without her aid.
She snapped out of her thoughts, reprimanding herself for thinking so deeply while Angel had clearly set about making love to her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss as she felt her shorts being pushed away from her body. When Angel reared up to lift off her tank, she turned towards Spike who kissed her deeply. She started to move to initiate with him, but he stopped her by settling her down on the bed.
"Not yet, baby. Soon."
And Angel was there, loving her. She understood now. It was languorous and sweet, it was about loving one at a time and fully, attentively. It was about assuring themselves that the other was there and being able to show them wholly. One at a time. Buffy knew there would be time for preliminaries later, so she didn't mind when Angel slid into her gently after pumping his finger inside her a few times to get her wet and ready for him.
It was sweet, but it was also need and Buffy understood that. She didn't need all the foreplay at that point, she just wanted to feel them, have them in her, around her. And as Angel moved within her, she wrapped her limbs around him and moved with him, kissing him, loving him.
"I love you so much," Angel whispered raggedly. "Missed you so damn much. . . "
"I love you," she told him, kissing him.
"Please, Angel," she begged after a moment, feeling her impending orgasm build within her. She reached up and went for the mark she had left on him so long ago as he bent his head to reach his. She felt the ridges against her breast and held her breath in anticipation. She wanted it so bad. At the same time he sank his fangs in her, she sank her teeth in his.
They became one; they came.
"Mine," Angel muttered as he came silently.
"Mine," Buffy whispered as she buried her face in his neck and lapped at the marks, moaning her orgasm. Angel peppered her with kisses, lapped at the wound, closing it, healing it.
When he'd rolled away, spent and sated, Buffy rolled over to Spike and straddled him.
"Hi Kitten," he purred at her.
"Hi," She smiled at him and leaned in, kissing him passionately. He cupped her ass and brought her to his burgeoning erection, slipping easily inside her. She rocked against him and he sat up as she moved easily against him.
He gazed up at her in awe and love and pushed her hair from her face. He moved to her neck and nuzzled, instantly vamping with the close proximity to his mark.
"Do it," she demanded softly.
He sank into her at the same time she sank into him. It wasn't so amazing to her that they hadn't lost their synchronism. Her body exploded in pleasure as they sealed the claim with their words. Exhausted, she allowed
Spike to lay her gently down on the bed. She was dimly aware of Angel cleaning her up and wrapping themselves around her, murmuring how much they loved and missed her, needed her, cherished her. Spike lay his head on her stomach, wrapping an arm about her waist as Angel pressed his face into her neck and wrapped an arm just above Spike's.
They fell asleep within minutes.