Days Like These Keep Me Warm

Yep two chapters in one day, a miracle I know but I decided to get this story moving along a bit more and because my parents are on holiday it means I can write more without being interrupted all the time. Yay. Feedback again welcomed.

Chapter Seven: She Wants Your image, She Wants Your Kiss

She was currently doing what he had asked of her, describing the view she could see as they sat on a piece of grass by the ruins of a once grand castle that overlooked the Irish Sea. William had been to this spot many a time in his student days so as Buffy explained how the hazy sun glistened on the still water and that the First World War monument dominated their view; he conjured up vivid memories of the scene.

On their right hand side stood the Old College, the original building that had housed the early days of the university at the end of the 19th Century. To the left Buffy was talking about the empty, barren south beach that was overlooked by the students and holidaymakers because it lacked the beautiful golden sands of the main beach.

Buffy loved what she was doing for him, because she felt as if she was truly being helpful and that she did this not to win brownie points but because he had said softly to her 'tell me what you see'. She had finished her description of the landscape and waited for his response.

"I don't think this town has really changed one bit" he commented. Even though he couldn't see where he sat with her, she had been right the castle ruins were both quiet and beautiful and he was glad of it because it made them both relaxed and he was determined to share a moment with her that ended well for once.

"So, you seem to spend a lot of speaking to me. Don't you have essays to write, books to read, not that I mind you being here but you said you had a seminar?" William quizzed ignorant of the reasons why Buffy wished to speak to him, not only to shed some light on her reality but she spoke to him because she loved him, not that she was planning on exposing that truth.

"I did but I erm, also said maybe it wasn't today and what I mean by that is" Buffy stuttered her sentence, she tore her eyes away their position of watching his every move, she had to focus, come out with it directly.

//Be calm and collected, you can do this, look he is so happy about being here and his with me, does that mean he actually likes me? Who knows back to the main point, if his mood is upbeat then maybe he will take this well. Of course maybe he will push me off the edge into the sea//

"Buffy" William stated, he couldn't work out what she was rambling on about but managed to place his hand on her knee and urged her to carry on.

"William, I have to tell you something, whether you're going to like it or not I don't know and I'm certain you're going to be angry" Buffy declared, she looked at where his hand was and wondered how long he would continue touching her when he found out the truth. She then turned her attention to Strummer, she decided that the dog must be incredibly patient, all it ever seemed to do was lay around as Buffy and William spoke to one and other. All this was diverting from the reason why she was here.

"You helped me out on Saturday night, then you even washed your own sheets and now you've just been very sweet and helpful and described..." William's kind words were abruptly stopped by Buffy who rested her hand on his.

"I'm not a student, you never saw me at that Contemporary American Literature lecture because I don't do English and History, I lied" she said quickly, hoping that it would take him off guard. He didn't say anything in reply "Well please say something, bad or good, its taken me a lot to say these things to you"

"I did wonder why no one had heard of you, I thought maybe werewere shy and didn't socialise much" was the first thing William found himself saying. His mouth was still dropped open in shock.

//Its not like she told me she was I don't know a murderer, married even but it's a bit weird, I had constructed this world in which we would talk about Hemmingway or Orwell, have long discussions about the impact of the First World War on western society. Who I am kidding, so what if she doesn't study English or History, its not like it really makes who she is, I care for her, I need to speak to her because she understands what I feel more than anyone I've known, whether she goes to university or not isn't important//

"Well I guess that's pretty true" she shrugged, he had kind of summed her life up pretty well, shy and doesn't socialise much, and to her surprise his hand still stayed on her knee and she saw him smile at her. She truly couldn't believe how well things were going but she knew not to get too confident because everything could change if she told him deeper, more disturbing secrets like the fact she had been in prison and that she was homeless.

"I didn't mean to say I went to university but when I went into Mr Giles shop he presumed I was a student and I got carried away" Buffy explained further and that was the reality of what had occurred at the weekend, when she had tried to explain to Rupert about having no experience she had been planningsayisaying she currently didn't have a house or flat not even a room to stay in but he had interrupted her and said she was student and that lie had seemed perfect.

"What do you do then? Why were you looking for a job if you don't need it?" William enquired; he did have to wonder what went on in her mind at times, why she wanted to apply for a job when she was probably employed somewhere else. What kind of job she had William couldn't figure out, she always seemed to be around when he needed her to be; perhaps she works from home he decided.

"I do, I do nothing William, I'm unemployed I guess" Buffy admitted, she said it in a defeated voice because there was nothing good about having no job and now that she had started to let her secrets out would she be able to stop at just this?

//Yes I have to, I'm not ready to tell him everything, his accepted this but the other stuff will take time, I shouldn't push him to far//

"Hey don't sound so ashamed by that" William gradually trailed his hand up leg and positioned it on her denim-clad thigh squeezing the material and her flesh out of reassurance. "Not like you're the only one, look at me I don't work"

"But well, you have a reason" She paused, she didn't want to bring up his blindness but it was the truth right? And her she didn't work because she had no permanent address and a criminal record. She blocked the negativity out of her mind, he was touching her again, his firm hand on her, part of her wished she had worn a skirt, but then she found herself blushing at the stupidity.

//Just friends, we're just friends//

"I guess I could work if I really wanted to but I don't, I live of the money my parents left me" He revealed but like his companion he had times in his life he didn't wish to discuss, his parents death being one of these heartbreaking, fuck him up memories. "So why don't you work then?"

"Can't find anything, don't have any qualifications, there's nothing going on here" Buffy remarked, which wasn't completely a lie, there wasn't much work in this small struggling town that was kept alive by the students and tourists.

"Then if you don't mind me asking why are you even here, in this town, if you're not a student or a local why stay?"

"I really don't know, William shouldn't you be screaming and shouting at me for lying to you?" She asked, sure she liked he whe was taking it very well but she was so used to something going bad that she was waiting for him to flip again.

"Why would I?" William said, he saw no reason why he would hold a grudge against her. Yes he had been upset with her for leaving on Sunday without an explanation but he understood that she was embarrassed about her circumstance. "You explained that it was a misunderstanding, that's fair enough"

"But I should have told you the truth before, I feel so bad for not, you think you know who I am when you don't" Buffy sighed, her voice began to rise, in a way she felt angry at William, she wanted him to rebuke her because she wanted to be punished, sure she knew it made her a fuck up but so much in her life had confirmed this already.

"Seeing as this is our third meeting I doubt I would really know much about you, why are you being so harsh on yourself?" William answered gently.

"Because I'm ashamed of who I am, of the things I've done and I want to tell you more because you have been nothing but sweet and kind to me since we met but" she began to get herself into a state, she combed her hair with her fingers but she wouldn't cry, allow a stray tear to fall because it would show her weak self towards a man she wanted to look after, who she needed to be strong in front off.

Though William couldn't see her, he had learnt to read emotions not through sight but different tones in voices and how bodies reacted. Right now he knew Buffy was distressed, he could feel her body shake as his hand still stayed firmly on her thigh and her voice was cracking like she was under pressure. He didn't want any of this, he wanted her not to loathe herself but realise how much an affect she had on him in such a short time span.

"You never let me finish before, you have done a lot for me, maybe you don't realise it but I haven't met many new people since my accident and you really have been something different" he let a small smile play on his lips.

//Different? I'm not sure if that's the right word to describe her, she makes me feel intoxicated, I don't know if I even felt like this about Dru, no I only think I did, Buffy is something purer than that, Drusilla was about desire and seduction, Buffy is like, this is so fucking naïve, she's like innocence///

"Something stupid you mean? Before when I said we can't be friends I think I still mean that, I have too much shit you wouldn't like" Buffy admitted, would he be so caring if he knew she went to jail, that her stupidity killed the man she once loved? How could expect to protect William, when she had let Angel's life slip from her hands.

"Your unemployed, so I am, join the club, you have shit going on, trust me I do as well, life isn't easy I fucking know that and for whatever reasons so do you" William beseeched, his usual docile azure eyes made a rare expression, they radiated compassion towards her "When I spoke to you about my life being this big fucking charade you understood, the whole sad clown thing its true I get it, you do. We have a lot in common, a lot of good things and maybe screwed up things"

"I can't believe you still have faith in me" Buffy replied incredulously. She decided right there that she didn't want alk alk away from this, he was the most loving and genuine person she had come across in years.

"The fact that I trust you Buffy, trust that you're a good person is a big thing pet, to me, usually I don't let people, women into my life easily, since well, accidents aren't always accidents" William faltered in his response, could he reveal to her why he was blind, could he open up that much?

"Oh" Buffy said simply, she wasn't sure where he was going but as this afternoon had been one about honesty she decided to ask, her instincts told her it was ditelitely about a woman "Did she leave you after what happened?"

William nodded in agreement and spoke slowly "I guess that's one way of putting it, she, Dru, see I can't even finish her name, she messed me up, she, well like I said it wasn't an accident, how..." Throughout his talking he felt his emotions rise and despite himself he felt his eyes become wet, he removed his hand from Buffy and began to rub his face.

//She will think I'm a right ponce, a little boy who cries all the time//

Yet he couldn't help it, thinking about Drusilla had even the effect of anger or anguish and he couldn't become annoyed with Buffy again, so hot salty tears it was.

"Ssh, I shouldn't asked" Buffy shifted herself nearer and found a grubby tissue in her pocket wiping his tears away, she then threw the tissue away and used her thumb instead, in tender strokes across his cheeks.

"Why not, its not like I can hide from it!" William sniffled, he had given up on holding in his emotional breakdown, his defences were definitely broken "My own girlfriend led me into a building she knew, or hoped I wouldn't return from, she hit me over the back of my head!"

"Why, oh my God, why would she do that to you" Buffy shouted out in shock, she saw him flinch away and had certainly gained the attention of Strummer, whose ears pricked up and darted his eyes towards her. She briefly moved from William in order to pat the dog aalm alm him down before retuning to the man she wished to devote her entire life to "Sorry, no more questions, I promise"

"Your not going to leave are you?" William asked warily but as he felt Buffy move to sit in front of him, he found himself knowing what she wanted, fee the the same way and wondering how much more unnecessary speaking they would do before the moment hit.

"No, I can't" Buffy whispered, she bit her lip as she felt herself overwhelmed with sensations. Love, need, desire, want, compassion. "I can't leave you" she rested her head against his and stayed silent for a few moments. Just hearing him breathe was wonderful, like seeing a glorious sunset for the first time or tasting smooth silky chocolate. She couldn't even control her volatile emotions as she found that stray tear she had desperately be holdin cas cascade down her face and onto his own.

"Buffy, your" William stopped, he didn't need to see to know that she was weeping much like himself, he carefully found his hands around her waist and found himself guiding the young woman onto his lap.

//Nothing will come from this// she repeated in her head

//Does she really love me or is this just pity? // he mused

///Comfort just comfort// the pair thought in unison.

"Crying too, I hate so much that I have done, but not as much as I hate that woman for harming you, and for the pain your in" Buffy repressed her doubts and knowledge that she shouldn't do this and lowered her lips to met his.

She bit his soft silky skin wearily unsure of what his reaction would be, but then gaining confidence as he let out a small pleasing moan and deepened their actions. Tongues twirled against one and other, tastes of coffee and chocolate cake the last thing he ate fused onto her own taste buds. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gently rocked her body against his lap, all she could think off was how pas passion she felt in this single kiss and what the consequences of it would be.

TBC>>>> Yes I am so evil leaving it there, you are all free to abuse me for leaving it on a cliffhanger, but don't you like a bit of excitement? Its like an episode of 24, only without the explosions or complicated plot lines and Kiefer Sutherland is nowhere to be seen, okay maybe its noke 2ke 24 at all. It will be updated sometime next week, review away my readers.