The re-education of Xander Harris

FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel the Series
TITLE: The re-education of Xander Harris
AUTHOR: Willie J
EMAIL: wmj166@yahoo.com
ARCHIVE SITE(S): http://www.slashaholics-island.com/library/viewuser.php?uid=69; http://www.brain-insane.com/beyondcanon; http://www.adult-fanfiction.org
PAIRINGS: A/X
RATING: NC-17
WORDCOUNT:
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any part of Buffy et all, nor Angel the Series, but if I did, boy Xander would so be digging Angel! And Spike. And Giles! Hell, he’ll be slut!
FEEDBACK: Oh please send me feedback, privately or through the list
DISTRIBUTION: List Archives
SPOILERS: Everything up to just before Faith killed the Mayor’s atanttant
SUMMARY: Angel is determined that Xander understands the truth about demon
A/N #1: Those of Buffyverse are naturally Joss' creations, however, any and all other characters mentioned are my own.
A/N #2: This deviates greatly from Season 2. Wesley took Faith away to continue her training as a Slayer; the Mayor-becoming-a-giant-snake never happened; graduation went off without a hitch; Angel still in town and hasn’t left for L.A.
BETA'D BY: Elaine (the Mighty)


Chapter 7

It was over.

There was a stunned silence in the great room. The crowd blinked, and blinked again when the GameMaster blandly began telling the gaming group, Black Death, that in a surprise attack, 240 of their soldiers died under a rain of arrows.

Then another 100…

92…

When the game had initially begun, the watching spectators were puzzled by Jaile passing a note to the GameMaster. The woman had an interested look on her face upon reading it, making the watching crowd very much eager to read what was written. But all she did was nod, and the game began with the army of Stormrunners cautiously treading their way through the mountain pass.

However, what the spectators found infinitely curious was this: periodically the GameMaster would pass slips of papers back to the Stormrunners. Sometimes they would look dismayed, other times they would look relieved. Even the Black D loo looked suspiciously at the Stormrunners, fearing some trickery. But what could they possibly do? Black Death had the upper hand. All they needed to do was hold their position and crush the Stormrunners’ pathetic army.

But it was their army that was annihilated in an unexpected move. Every roll of their dice seemed to be a fumble, and even the solid rolls did little to stop the onslaught.

Every move they made, it seemed the Stormrunners had already anticipated id had had a countermeasure prepared.

The once mighty army of Black Death was soundly defeated.

And a new Overlord of the World was crowned.


Amid the cheering, shouting crowd, Angel searched for Xander, eager to claim his promised reward.

Peering over the laughing, congratulatory crowd he sought his lover in a vain attempt to get an early start on his loving.

Unfortunately he was waylaid by Skoal, who full well knew who Angel searched for. Both of them catching sight of Xander waving and making his way towards Angel. Skoal, making one last valiant attempt to recapture the vampire’s attention, threw himself at Angel and stole a kiss from the cool lips. And came perilously close to losing his life when Angel jerked back with a vicious snarl twisting his lips. The demon, glaring with golden-eyed menace was paramount in the savagely beautiful face at the unwanted contact.

Angel stared at the young man, his eyes frosting over with contempt, literally making Skoal shake as if from the icy, coldness of death. A low growl rippling from the demon’s throat, his eyes a blazing gold, Angel shocked those around him into the fearful stillness of the hunted. Slowly, holding the boy’s suddenly terrified eyes, he removed the slender arms from about his neck.

“Don’t ever do that again…” he said past the satisfying image of Skoal sprawled on the ground, his throat a gaping red wound. He struggled with thed tod to make the image a reality and be done with the interfering little twit. He looked up, his dead heart feeling even deader at the mingled hurt and resignation in Xander’s eyes before his lover turned to rush away. It made him want to rip Skoal’s throat out all the more.

Tossing the blonde away from him, he hurried to reach his Xander.

Catching up, Angel allowed Xander to make it into an empty hallway before he halted his lover’s desperate attempt at escape. Wrapping his arms around the stiff, angry figure he simply held on. “Xander, stop…I wasn’t kissing him. He was kissing me!” Angel said roughly, stilling the boy’s futile efforts to get away.

“Kissing is kissing!” Xander pointed out. Struggling to keep the anger and hurt from his voice. Though why he should feel upset he didn’t know. It wasn’t as if Angel had ever made any promises to him about being faithful or anything. They weren’t all couple-y, they were just…buddies. That just…uhm...coincidentally had sex.

A lot.

Every freaking chance they could get.

Mucho grande sex…tearing up the road…screaming, backbreaking sex…and dammit! It fuckin’ hurt like hell to see Angel and that bleached blonde locking lips.

“Two pairs of lips, pressing together is kissing!” he said insistently, holding his body rigid and unyielding against the solid press of Angel’s.

He was whirled around and pressed against the wall. “This is kissing…” Angel murmured and dived into the angry, sputtering mouth. His tongue gaining entry with sensuous ease, twining, stroking the humid warmth within. He mapped the honeyed interior with languorous sweeps of his tongue, then coaxed Xander’s out to play.

Long endless seconds passed as they supped from each other’s mouth, rocking and twisting against one another. Xander’s hands were fisted in Angel’s hair, gripped handfuls as tingling waves of pleasure washed over him. All he could think about was getting horizontal as soon as possible and pulling Angel down with him.

An! n!

Hot damn, he thought in rising desire. Another wonderful plan! I’m a freakin’ genius, he excitedly assured himself before getting lost in Angel’s mouth. And moving slowly, languidly, he undulated into the hard firmness of his lover’s body. Moaning when Angel rocked lazily into his straining flesh, increasingly vivid ripples of pleasure spiraled outward, shaking his entire body. He tightened his grip on the broad shoulders, arching his hips and rubbing himself against the definite bulge between Angel’s thighs. Whimpers of fitful need escaping his beleaguered lips at the surge of electric wildfire scorching him at the contact.

Finally Xander drew back, gasping for breath. Lips passion swollen, temptingly red and wet from the pressure of the erotic contact. Angel was saying something, but he couldn’t seem to drag his attention away from his lover’s mouth. Those cool lips that burned him. All he could think about was having those lips back against his again. And again. And other places as well, he thought in a delirium of lust. He tingled, his body stiffening with painful hardness at the scintillating idea.

Angel chuckled shakily, that look of single-minded hunger on Xander’s face always sent an electrifying thrill through him. Although just as aroused by their kiss, it was the fixed expression of lust in the boy’s eyes that had him hardening with a burning need.

“Xander, do you remember your promise…?” he whispered, leaning into the boy’s all too enticing body. Willingly seduced by the heady scent of rising passion from the boy. “You promised me a certain…something.” There was a glittering dark look etched on his face. With passion sharpening his features, he wore a look of ravenous desire.

“I believe you said you would fuck me so hard I would feel it every time I sat down,” he murmured, his face pressing into the warm human neck. Softly, gently he laved at the frantically beating pulse just under the skin. A tiny smile curving his mouth at the low, throaty moan from his precious, darling boy. That look of wanton desire in those beautiful, soft eyes made him want to howl.

“Well, I’m real interested in seeing…how capable you are in keeping your promise. If not, well then, I guess you’ll have to keep trying. You know the old saying…‘If first you don’t succeed, try, try again’,” Angel said with a lecherous smile.

Xander seredered, his eyes crossing at that arousing thought. He held Angel pressed to him, shivering and arching against the beautifully cool, hard body with a low whining sound. His mind dazed to everything but the need to get Angel back to their quarters. One thought uppermost in his mind: Sex! And more sex! And, maybe some more…
SEX!

Spinning out of Angel’s loose grasp, Xander breathlessly bed oed out something as he seized his lover’s hand and led the way back to their room. Absently responding to individual greetings along the way with quick, impatient grunts. Growing increasingly annoyed at the incredibly rude people that were holding him up from getting some serious Angel nookie, he growled and glared angrily at them.

Angel manfully restrained his desire to laugh at the intent look on Xander’s face and the determined way the boy was pulling him through the corridors. He smiled apologetically at the people in the hallways as Xander dragged him relentlessly past them. Everyone had astonished expressions on their faces at Xander’s shocking rudeness.

Pushing open the door to their quarters, Xander shoved Angel back against it, frantically attacking his lover’s mouth again. Ruthlessly suppressing whatever Angel was trying to say.

HE was in the driver’s seat now! And he was NOT in the mood for any of Angel’s chitchat.

Angel was near stunned speechless by the amorous fury of his boy. He was also throwing a boner hard enough to crack a diamond at the wild, storm of passion glittering brightly in Xander’s intensely hot and seductive gaze. He managed to fasten one of the locks on the door before his boy manhandled him over to the bed. He had no intention of allowing ANYBODY to interrupt them.

Xander pushed Angel roughly back and followed his lover down onto the bed, alternating harsh and soft kisses on the cool pale flesh, then seizing Angel’s lips in a deep, hungry kiss before coming up for air. Straddling his lover, he savagely ripped Angel’s shirt in two. And a wild, primitive feeling of rapacious lust surged through him at the sight of the bared, pale muscular torso.

He licked his lips eagerly. There was a ravenous look of pure greed on his face. He could barely restrain himself from rubbing his hands with wicked, gleeful intent. Angel quivered, his eyes widening at the hot, feral look on his lover’s face, for the first time wondering what he had gotten himself into. He hardened, his dick elongating at being the recipient of such ferocious passion.

Xander eyed Angel’s lips, then the broad chest with those fat nipples, then the washboard abs. His eyes widening hungrily, drooling at the rigid, turgid organ pressing against Angel’s stomach. He drooled, smacking his lips hungrily. A soft babble of words running counterpoint with his frenzied, erotic thoughts.

“The lips…ooooh, yeah, the lips…! So sweet, and good…! Like sugar they are…ohhhh, maybe the nipples, yeah! The nipples, all fat and juicy…! He jumps when I play with them…! I wanna bite ‘em…and make him jump! Bite…bite…bite. Grrrrr! No!…let’s do the stomach…! Yeah…and his navel…he loves that…mmmmm, noooooo, his cock….! I haven’t tasted that…! Mmmmmm, blowjobs…I like it when he does me…! No…start at the top…start at the top and work your way down, mama always used to say. But I bet she wasn’t talking about this…!” he snickered softly to himself. Still eyeing Angel like a starving wolf, drooling and twisting his s ass as he contemplated where to start on his Angelfeast.

Angel eyed the boy incredulously…oh for Gods sakes! Using strong stomach muscles he leaned up and yanked his babbling boy down to his waiting mouth. Sliding a hand between their bodies, he tugged briskly on Xander’s ramrod length. At the full body shudder that shook his lover, he released the captive and and reclined on the bed. His eyes hooded and glittering with avarice need to be fucked.

Xander blinked rapidly, the fog of lust clearing briefly from his mind. He inhaled sharply, looked at the sleek splendor of Angel sprawled beneath him and dive-bombed his lover’s body hungrily. Possessively running his hands all over the magnificent, beautiful body. Biting, licking at the cool burning lips as hands, strong enough to bend steel, stroked wildly up and down his back.

He humped against Angel’s body, groaning at the slick wet feel of a hard, naked cock brushing, sliding, pressing against his own with an aching sensuality. He quivered, shivering at the erotic sensation, his shaft oozing glistening pearls of liquid. All of a sudden, it was absolutely vital that he get inside Angel’s ass. With frantic lust, his hand was under the pillows and he gratefully snagthe the lube. Shaking fingers, he managed to open the top, slick himself up and prepare Angel.

Then he was in. A keening whimper was the only sound he could make when Angel’s slick, satin coolness engulfed his cock.

Angel groaned, finally Xander got the message. He wrapped himself around the boy like a snake, lifting his lips to his human lover, moaning softly. Giving Xander his mouth, his body…everything. His breath came out in a tight hiss when the thick, turgid length slid achingly slow into his body. Filling him up, full to bursting. His shaft seemed to stiffen even more, aching with a painful hardness as Xander crammed himself further into his spasming entrance. And he sighed at the remembered pleasure of being taken, fucked by a man’s hard, thrusting cock. He had forgotten just how much he loved the first penetration, the strength, thickness and power of a length of flesh-covered steel thrusting, probing the depth of his ass.

He moaned, his eyes closing in bliss as Xander just rested there. So deeply embedded within his hungry sheath. Slowly he flexed around the rigid organ, smiling as he heard a tightly high-pitched yelp from the boy and the convulsive buck that Xander gave. He held the ramrod length in a tight, constricting grip. It was all his, every last fuckin’ inch of it, now belonged to him.

And there was nothing more satisfyingly delicious and supremely luxurious than to be sprawled naked and holding your lover’s cock deep within your body. His proud, hard shaft sheathed, and at your command.

Xander whined, low in his throat at the almost intolerable pressure gripping his dick. He panted, his breath coming out in harsh, ragged spurts. His eyes were dazed with the painful pleasure of being so tightly encased within the cool, rippling walls of Angel’s ass. His first and only experience of being the fucker rather than the fuckee, of being in control, was with Faith. But, he reflected darkly, she nipped that in the bud. She flipped him and rode him like a runaway horse then kicked him out in the cold once she had gotten her jollies.

Getting screwed by her was good, he thought as the constricting walls relaxed around his sex, because that was what happened. SHE fucked him…not the other way around. It was good, he thought, slowly withdrawing from the snug sheath, like the difference between a starving man eating a half-rotten apple, and a king sitting down to a 12-course feast. Both satisfied a hunger, but ohhh, viva la difference!

He stared into Angel’s golden eyes finally seeing exactly why Angel liked watching him when they had sex. “Beautiful…” he whispered, getting lost in the myriad of emotions swirled in those glorious eyes. Everything he did, every thrust of his body was reflected in Angel’s wild, passion suffused gaze. He shifted, angling deeper into the gripping interior, gritting his teeth when muscular legs tightened with bruising force around his waist. Just wanting to see that flash of chaotic lightening flare in the depths of Angel’s eyes.

After that, he couldn’t stop moving; he had to go, he wanted to go deeper still into the cool molten sheath. Grunting, he pulled back and slammed a hard thrust against Angel’s upturned backside, gasping in surprise at the way the narrow channel seemed to flex around his hardness and Angel writhed against him in an unexpectedly enticing, sinuous movement expressively designed to make him lose his ever-lovin’ mind.

What a way to go, he thought muzzily before willingly going under in the awesome pleasure of the fuck.

Angel rocked and arched his back, grounding downward, twisting and circling his hips, anxious for more of that big hot shaft pounding his ass. He wanted to feel every last bit of Xander sliding into him, he wanted to feel the very root of that thick, stabbing cock ramming into him, to feel Xander to the hairy root, grinding and abrading his skin with each deep satisfying thrust. He couldn’t remember the last time he had it so good.

And Xander’s kisses, those incredibly tender, overpowering, hungry lips that the boy seemed to use so effectively, he wanted more. More and more. He simply wanted to wring every bit of sensation from this heated coupling as possible.

He wanted every-fuckin’-thing.

The room was soon filled with the breathless gasps, grunts of pleasure, and whispered, broken pleas for ‘More’. It was torture, it was bliss; it was everything between heaven and hell. Everything, Angel felt, was centered on Xander. On the inescapable heat, the thick, relentless shaft hammering at his prostate.

He gave Xander his passion, his desire, as he rode that pulsating tool of pleasure to a hard aching point. He danced his own wicked dance upon the pounding cock, working his ass around Xander until the boy was lathered to a fine sweat. He was ruthless, and relentless in his quest for their mutual fulfillment. He wanted it all, he desperately needed to feel Xander’s seed filling him, flooding and drenching him in the boy’s wonderful seed. And he focused on that point, on Xander’s breathless, inexorable pounding lunges. Focused on the sharp curl of spiraling pleasure that threatened to send him out of control.

Xander braced handhands on the bed, and leaned deeper, ramming repeated thrusts against Angel’s gobbling hole. It felt so fucking good, he moaned. Magical, so goddamn perfect and he was so almost there.

“Christ…!” he choked out when Angel did this fluttering thing inside. It felt like lips were nipping sweetly around his buried cock. Sweat was dripping down his face, stinging his eyes, but he couldn’t stop staring down at Angel’s ecstatic face. Every movement, every lunge brought a corresponding expression to the pale, beautiful face. Angel’s face was twisted, like he was in agony, but from the way he was slamming down on his dick, begging for more, it wasn’t pain that his lover was feeling.

And that fact sent him soaring, spinning out of control. He was raging with desire for the sweet, cool flesh of his lover. His hips pistoned back and forth, his low hanging balls slapped against Angel’s pale, ravenous ass with the loud sound of someone being spanked. Every hammerlike blow into the greedy, clenching aperture was accompanied by low, breathy grunts and moans from the two men.

Angel groaned, and braced his heels against Xander’s flexing ass. His body shaking and rocking with the force of Xander’s rutting flesh, he reached down and firmly grasped those luscious, heavy sacs between his lover’s legs. Taut, juicy and filled with tasty white, creamy sauce. They were so wondrously free and pendulous. At Xander’s gasp, he grinned and worked the succulent orbs in his fingers, sliding his nimble digits further to that sleek patch of skin just behind those mouthwatering balls. And began stroking.

Xander shuddered violently, almost squirming away, or towards those wicked, tormenting fingers, he wasn’t quite certain. At the surge of agonizing pleasure that seared him, he knew that TOWARDS the fingers was where he wanted to be. He was oblivious to the keening wail of pleasure that ripped from his lips…but Angel was not. Xander’s thrusts increased dramatically, plowing his ass like a jackhammer.

Christ! He slammed his head back against the pillows, his hips writhing, undulating on the hugle rle ramming into him. God…! The boy was so fuckin’ hard! He NEVER had it so good. Not even from the Master had he been fucked so hard and thorough. Xander was reaching places in him that he NEVER knew existed.

Unknowingly, he gasped for breath, his eyes wide and dazed with the intensity of the feeling raging through him. Half forgotten was Xander as Angel drew his hand up and clasped his throbbing shaft. Whining, growling as he pulled on his turgid organ in time with the hard-hitting lunges that continuously rocked him on the bed.

Hot, hard and tight... hard, hot, tight…hot, tight and so fuckin’ HARD! Xander had the stamina of a damn vampire and a dick of iron. Shit, his boy probably could move a goddamn mountain with it. He could feel himself rushing, laughing as he raced towards a high peak as a tidal wave of molten heat towered, chased just behind him. Xander was two paces in front of him…now they were racing and and neck…where, he had no idea…just running for the sheer joy. Knowing the end was coming…the pleasure, the ecstasy was almost overtaking them.

Then they were there…out of room and looking over the edge down into a churning sea. With a shared shout, they felt an enormous pressure slam into their spines, throwing them forward…into the air, spinning them around, tossing, turning in the rushing current of pleasure.

Clutching one another, they tumbled, screaming, roaring with delirious joy and wonder as they fell, surrounded by thick, choppy waves of ecstasy. Falling…falling with gentle violence into the churning sea, deep…deeper still, their bodies rocking, jerking still from the choppy undertow.

And slowly…so slowly it felt almost like a dream, the choppiness eased, gentlnd tnd they were carried softly, soothingly through the wat water to the shore.


* * *

Xander sat with his knees drawn up to his chest, his arms wrapped around his legs, watching Angel toss various items in a duffel bag. Despite his grim determination not to feel sad, with suspiciously wet eyes he regarded his lover…no, they weren’t lovers, he corrected himself. At least not anymore.

They were leaving Undervale; and he was not returning. Angel may, but he could never return, not unless he chose to stay below. Forever. And somehow forever sounded like an awfully long time.

He studied his toes, wiggling them to give him somng tng to focus on as he blinked rapidly to clear the annoying dust from his eyes. Because he wasn’t crying, he sternly insisted to himself. He wasn’t! It was dust or something that was making his eyes wet. DUST!

Angel paused in packing the last of his clothes to regard his boy. His smile was bittersweet as he admitted the truth. At least to himself he could be honest enough to admit that no matter where he went, what path his destiny led him…Xander would always and forever be his beautiful, sexy, funny-face boy.

Lover. Friend. Companion. Xander was his…beloved.

But there was no future for them, at least not together. He had his redemption to seek, and Xander had his life to live. The two seemed to be mutually incompatible. Besides, how could he concentrate on fighting when thoughts of Xander constantly intruded on his mind, weakening him? He could just see it now. Fighting valiantly against some huge frickin’ monster, when suddenly the image of Xander, all flushed, sated and warm from his loving shimmered into his mind. And we’ll have one really, REALLY dead vampire, Angel groused silently.

He regarded his sad-eyed mortal with honest regret. Xander practically had his demon purring in contentment instead of spitting and snarling at the thought of being…loved. Angel turned the word over in his mind. Puzzled as to when and at what point he fell in love with the boy. It had never been about sex, at least, not on his part.

Buffy was about illusions and wishful thinking. They were friends, or at least as close of a friend as his demon would allow. But there was always some part of him that couldn’t trust her…she was the Slayer. She was judge, jury and executioner of his kind. Of demons. There was no way he could ever truly trust her. He was always torn between running away screaming or simply snapping her neck. Killing her to remove the threat to his existence. Despite the stars in her eyes when she looked at him, he always sensed something cold and remote resting deep within her soul. Where the essence of the Slayer lived. So, he was wary and anxious around her, cautious and in survival mode. Because no matter how ‘alive and human’ she made him feel, in the back of his mind he knew she was the Slayer. Dealer of death to demons.

Now, Skoal…that was about sex. At the time, he thought it was nothing more than two desperate people finding comfort in sex. He understood that, and he assumed Skoal knew that simple fact. Coming back from Hell, he was so hungry for sheer physical contact, to prove he was no longer THERE. That touching didn’t have to be about hurt and punishment, he thouhe’dhe’d go mad.

He couldn’t go to Buffy, she was already wary enough of him, and he had so many dark thoughts about her. He didn’t dare approach Giles and Willow, and Xander was out of the question. Plus there was something bothering him about his soul, it felt so strange. Different. So, he retreated below. Here, although the only vampire, he was at least among other demons that accepted, without question, his return. The newly blonde Skoal had lost his lover in a tragic accident and was hurting, reeling in confusion. And at the time, it madefectfect sense to have an affair with the willowy, young man.

In hindsight, Angel admitted ruefully, that may NOT have been the best idea.

He sighed softly, his eyes dark and brooding on his lover’s desolate face. Yet, somehow, in someway unknown to him, Xander ensnared him in delicate strands of desire; bound him with love. Hell, the boy even had his demon musing on the improbable idea of taking the boy as Mate.

On silent feet he crossed to his beloved. “Tá tú go h-álainn …” Angel murmured tenderly, lifting the doleful face to his. “So damn beautiful that had I a heart that still beat, it would stop working at the sight of you.” He kissed the drooping lips gently, coaxing a response from the youth.

Parting, he rested his forehead wearily against Xander’s, feeling an aching sadness himself. A little game of slap and tickle had turned unexpectedly into something more. Some unforseen thing that ensnared them both in a sticky web of love and desire.

“Tugaim mo chroí duit go deo,” he whispered, a lump forming in his throat at the thought of parting from Xander. And it was true, although the boy didn’t know it. Xander held his dead, unbeating heart in warm mortal hands. To do with it what he will. Toss it aside, crush it under his heel…or cherish it forever.

It was killing him, but he had to put Xander away from him, for the boy’s own safety, and his as well. Xander had to live his very human life, while he had to continue his unending quest for redemption.

Xander blinked rapidly, feeling treacherous tears stealing down his face. He swallowed hard past the enormous lump in his throat. Wrapping his arms about the vampire, he leaned into Angel’s cool neck in an effort to hide his unmanly tears at the lilting, melodious words coming from his lover. They sounded like a warm, soothing caress to his love-battered heart. He snuggled deeper into Angel’s throat, feeling comforted by the beautiful words. Still didn’t know what they meant, but they sounded awfully pretty he thought in whimsical sad humor.

He wanted to curse and rage at Angel, but couldn’t. Nobody forced him into bed with the vampire. He paused, actually somebody did. But nobody held a gun or threatened his life if he didn’t make love to Angel. He thought carefully on the meaning of what they had been doing these past weeks. Not fucking. Not screwing or knocking boots. But loving…at least on his part it was loving. He wasn’t quite certain about Angel, but sometimes, he caught a glimpse of…something peering back at him from that golden-eyed gaze when Angel was rocking against him, or he was writhing atop that pale, nakedly beautiful body. It was love, or at least a very close, kissin’ cousin of LOVE.

It was something that gave him hope, a tiny bf knf knowledge to cling to, to hold on with all his strength. He had a feeling he was going to need it in the dark days ahead.

He took a deep shuddering breath for strength, then slowly drew back. Gazing solemnly at Angel he said, “I’ll miss you…”

For an answer, Angel briefly kissed him again. “I’ll miss you, too, a ghrá mo chroí…”

Xander tried to smile at the familiar phrase. It was something Angel used a lot the past couple of days. “Still ain’t gonna tell me what that means…?” he teased shakily to distract them both.

Angel tried to smirk, but knew it was a dismal failure. “Nope…” He didn’t want to raise any hope in the boy by telling him ‘a ghrá mo chroí’ meant ‘love of my heart’. This was painful enough.

When he decided to bring Xander down here it was in hope that the boy would learn something, a new way of thinking; and perhaps he, in turn would learn something as well. Even your worst enemy could teach you a thing or two, he always felt. What he didn’t anticipate on learning was how to laugh and love. To open up his heart yet again. And to lose another lover, though technically Buffy and he couldn’t quite be called lovers, after all, it was only one time. He dismissed Skoal from his mind, because that one was more what Xander claimed they were: fuck buddies. There was never any love on his part for the blonde young man. Just sex.

“I don’t want to go…” he said quietly. “I don’t want you to go either…”

Xander felt his heart stutter, hope rising sharply at those words. Maybe Angel did care for him as slightly more than a friend. Then resignation set in. “I don’t want to go either. But if you don’t leave what will happen to your redemption thingie? Dude, you have this big destiny thingie going. And they don’t give them out to just anybody, ya know…” he replied in a hopefully steady voice.

A weary sigh from Angel was his answer.

He crushed Xander’s lips to his, kissing his lover with hungry desperation as he tumbled them down to the made up bed. Harsh, greedy moans came from the frenetic, grasping mouth. Then something seemed to change in the frantic men. Delicately, quietly…
tenderly their kiss softened. No longer harsh and frantic, but easing slowly into love and affection.

Goodbye.

Calm hands stroked down Angel’s back, as their lips gentled. Silently ‘I love you’ was in the fleeting caress of warm lips against the cooler lips. Angel sat up, pulling Xander with him. They stared quietly into each other’s eyes, then smiled painfully before turning away and getting up.

Far, far away, Xander was sure he heard a fat lady singing a mournful song.

His head erect, Xander strode by Angel’s side though the crowd of well-wishers. He smiled easily at the many people that came to see them off. Some he knew were there just to make sure he was truly leaving, some were there that were sad to see him go. Those he gave a wider smile; the others, he smirked.

Both his and Angel’s expressions hardened at the sight of Skoal standing some distance away, regarding them with the flat, blank eyes of a beautiful Greek statue. Then in a particular shift of light, the blonde’s eyes seem to light up. Xander gasped softly, his eyes widening as finally…FINALLY he remembered where he had seen those eyes!

Holy shit! He cast an uneasy glance at Angel, then bit his lip. Chewing his lip thoughtfully, he shook his head and decided to remain silent. Skoal was down here and he was leaving for topside. Their paths would never cross again. And at least Skoal seemed…happier? below, he mused doubtfully. But the thought of how the blonde’s former lover died made him shiver as an unwelcome thought crossed his mind.


Carefully, they threaded their way through the maze of tunnels. Xander reflected on all his previousemptempts to escape and shuddered. He would have been wandering down here until he died. They paused at the dimly lit tunnel, and the young man glanced inquiringly at his companion.

Angel grimaced slightly but rules were rules. “Sorry, but I need to blindfold you…” he said quietly at the boy’s questioning look. “Very few humans know the way to and from Undervale. Those that do, have strong magics binding them from revealing the location of the community.” He looked wretched at the thought of blindfolding his lover. It wasn’t about him not trusting Xander; it was about the protection of the community.

Xander sighed and turned around. “Do it…” he replied shortly. “I’m sorry…you’re just taking care of Undervale,” he added apologetically as a thick cloth was wrapped around his eyes.

Angel kissed Xander’s neck softly in gratitude. Feeling a familiar tingle surge through his body. At the gasp from the boy, and sudden outpouring of pheromones, he knew Xander felt it too. He growled slightly and looked around, just knowing that guards were watching, wa, watching them.

Xander turned in Angel’s arms, his desire rising quickly. All he wanted right now was to feel a hard rigid pole hammering at him. His hands blindly ran up and down the broad form, seeking the physical evidence of Angel’s hunger for him. Smirking slightly at the seriously bulging package he discovered.

“Ohhhh, Angel…” he moaned, purring with delight at the feel of the thick solid length he was gripping eagerly.

“That’s NOT what you’re looking for…” Angel replied dryly, removing the package of smoked sausage links that Xander loved out, of the boy’s hands.

“oh
A
Angel rolled his eyes. As much as he wanted Xander right now, he had no intention of giving the goggling and laughing sentries a free show. Hurriedly he urged the disappointed boy out of the tunnel. Making Xander stand in place, he pushed open the huge door and grabbed his boy.

Closing it, he kept them moving at a brisk pace until they were away from the annoying, smirking guards. Pushing Xander against the rocky wall, he toed out of his shoes as he unfastened both their pants and shoved them down, kicking his off. Stooping quickly he had the eager young man shoes off and was urging Xander to step out of his pants. Made clumsy in his extreme haste to disrobe his boy, he ripped Xander’s shirt to his lover’s snickering amusement.

Fumbling a tube of lube from his pants, he slicked hisgersgers while silencing the giggling boy with a hungry, demanding kiss. Yeah, who’s laughing NOW?! He thought triumphantly at the heady moan when he probed the boy’s satiny heat. Then his mind went under the tidal wave of desire that surged between their bodies.

Heat…blessed, sweet heat gripped his fingers. Nipped at his buried digits with greedy intensity. He moaned at the feeling, layering feverish kisses on the boy’s face. His free hand urged a strong, well-muscled thigh around his waist. Xander, getting the message gripped Angel tightly around the neck, raised his other leg and wrapped it securely around the cool waist. Propped up by the wall, he shivered. He wanted Angel right here, right now. Taking him fast and deep, hard and high against the wall. Spreading his tight ass with that huge, veiny shaft and pummeling his body to a melted pile of goo. As only Angel could do. He was wide open to Angel’s plundering hand and moaned loudly, bucking and clenching around the invading fingers that brushed across his bundle of nerves with each delicious foray in his ass.

“Oh, fuck…” he whispered, his mind becoming lost in a dizzying swirl of sensations. Made more intense by not being able to see.

“Damn right…!” Angel choked out. He rocked against the warm, squirming body. Moaning his delight as their hardened, towering shafts rubbed against one another. He laved at the pointed nipples pouting eagerly for his kisses, his lips…his tongue. Relishing the wild cries of delight he continually pulled from his writhing lover. He twisted his fingers deeper into the spasming pucker, jamming them hard and fast into the velvet core. Wishing that it was his tongue probing the rippling sheath. Maybe later, he thought vaguely.

His arms and legs working together, Xander raised and lowered his hungry ass on the thickly plowing digits. His head tossing restlessly from side to side as he rode the ecstatic fullness…but he wanted more. He had to have Angel…he had to have that big, fat cock spearing him…spreading him open with that huge, tremendous shaft. If this was going to be their last fuck, he wanted Angel banging his ass until he screamed for mercy.

He smirked lewdly.

Or screaming for something.

“N…n….need…you…” he reported breathlessly. Gasping, keening with pleasure he rode Angel’s fingers, his drooling shaft blissfully crushed between their heaving bodies. Their rigid organs, and stomachs were coated liberally with fluids leaking from their desperate cocks.

For an answer, Angel, in two swift moves, removed his fingers and rammed his dick into the greedy, ravenous hole. They froze, as twin howls of joyous delight spilling from their lips. Their voices rising in a duet of fierce gratification at the feeling.

One of being encased in snug, silken heat; the other of being so achingly full.

Far away, the sentries smiled, exchanging knowing smirks at the ecstatic wails.

“Oh, Christ! You’re so fuckin’ tight…!” Angel muttered in the fragrant warmth of Xander’s neck, shoving more of his aching shaft into the boy’s honeyed, milking sheath.

Xander laughed shakily, his body clenching around the beloved invader. “You say that like it’s a problem…” he replied teasingly. Then bit back a shout of pleasure when Angel slammed a deep heavy thrust into him.

“Does it feel like I have a problem…?” Angel responded with admirable calm, ramming more of his thick shaft in the boy’s bottom. Gritting his teeth at the rippling sensation of pleasure around his deeply buried cock.

“Mmmmm, you feel just fine to me,” Xander sighed, cinching his legs tighter around Angel’s waist. Tugging slightly, he pulled his lover into a slow, wet, opened-mouthed kiss. Soon short choppy moans of ecstasy filled the tunnels with each stabbing lunge of a thick hard pole slogging deep within the boy’s carnal heat. Slick, wet sounds competed with Xander’s cries of bliss and Angel’s loud grunts of pleasure.

In and out and in and out andinandoutinandout, Angel’s mind stuttered in an orgasmic glow of furious lust as he rammed his hard cock deep, deeper still within the squirming body. God, how he wanted Xander and wanted this moment to last forever. He wanted to be the first and last to plunge his way to heaven within the boy’s insatiable, carnal body. And he knew he would never be. Could never be the last one to hold Xander, the last to feel the boy’s incredible heat and sensual response. Disturbed by the unwelcome thought, he growled, his hips pounding out his frustration deep within the throbbing core. And Xander met his harsh, pistoning thrusts with loud cries of pleasure.

Using his arms, Xander bounced happily upon the organ plowing between his asscheeks, nearly sobbing with the incredible feeling of having Angel’s big cock splitting him apart. He could feel each pulsating veiny ridge every time the huge shaft sawed back and forth between his asslips. He groaned, sparks of brilliantly colored lights flashing in his mind at the waves of bliss with each hammering stroke against his prostate. The lewd, wet sounds of the dick chugging away at his ass only made this last frenetic coupling more exciting. Intense.

The breathless, dirty words coming from Angel made him writhe on the spike of flesh with wanton eagerness.

“Tight little pussycat…” Angel growled, jamming a hard pounding stroke in the hot, buttery ass. He grunted bestially, his face ridged and twisted into a savage mask of demonic beauty with every powerful lunge into the boy’s snug, velvety sheath. He was hanging on to the tiny bit of self control by his figurative fingertips. His need to simply Claim Xander was surging through his veins and badly wanted to take the boy, and damn the consequences. And damn them both.

“MY little whore…my pussyboy! All mine…my pussyboy, my pussymypussymy pussy…” he chanted mindlessly, his hips a blur as he pistoned deep inside the boy’s hot, milking slit. “All mine…”

“Yours…yours…yours…” Xander, his mind lost in a daze of orgasmic pleasure, unconsciously agreed wholeheartedly with Angel’s words as he danced upon the impaling cock.

Their frantic mouths came together and ravaged each other with increasing urgency. Xander tightened his legs with bruising force when Angel’s movements sped up. The force and jarring motions of Angel slamming repeatedly into him, dislodged his mouth. He was so overwhelmed by the sensations rioting in him that all he could do was concentrate on the wild, tumultuous feelings raging through him that all he was capable of doing was hanging on and enjoying the pounding ride.

The storm…it was coming closer. Closer! The storm…it was racing towards him! Closer, faster…it was almost here!

He writhed faster atop the thick cock, his mind nearly blanking out from the scorching pleasure emanating from his butt and mushrooming outward throughout his body. His mind shattering until the lightening, a storm of fury picked him up and whirled him around, all he could hear was the scream of the wildfire scorching him from the inside out.

For a brief second, he realized the harsh screams were coming from his mouth, then he shattered into a million shards of pleasure. Feeling hot, ropes of milky froth spew from his trapped cock. His mouth was opened in a soundless wail of ecstasy, his head twisting against the rock wall as he was jarred by Angel’s increasing, vigorous thrusts before his lover stiffened. A roar of triumphant release filled the tunnel, and Xander felt cool, liquid spurt deep within his grasping sheath. He tightened pleasurably around the thick shaft, moaning his gratification as pleasure, thick, endless and all-consuming, filled him.

Distantly, he could feel Angel still languidly pumping into his ass. He groaned, totally gratified. He had got his wish to be fucked to a big puddle of goo. He knew he had a sappy, moronic grin on his face, but fuck it. Who wouldn’t after a deep, hard coring like that?!

His legs trembled from the straf hif his position. He wanted to tell Angel how good he felt. How Angel’s loving made him feel like he had died and touched the face of God; how an incredible rush filled him at the sight of the sated look in Angel’s eyes and knowing that he put it there; how he ached in such a wonderful way from the vigorous smackdown Angel laid on him. He opened his mouth…

“…mmmm…” and hoped that sound conveyed all that he couldn’t say.

Angel snickered tiredly, slumping against Xander. “Yeah, me too…” he said. And drawing away, he eased from the warm, gently gripping glove. Shivering at the contact of cool air on his sensitive shaft after being encased in the humid sheath. He stilled, sniffing the air at some unnamable emotion filtering through the air. With one quick blink, it was gone…that incredible scent that made him feel ten feet tall and Xander was giving him a lopsided, quirky smile.

“Kinky…but to be more effective you should have tied my hands behind my back or something,” he teased with lighthearted goodwill. Groaning, he allowed his legs to drop from around Angel’s waist. Wincing at the aching sting of life returning to his muscles. Hissing at the decided ache in his back and ass from repeated contact with the rocky wall.

Angel looked guiltily at the boy. Using his own shirt, he cleaned Xander of the evidence of their spent passion. “Sorry…” he mumbled, embarrassed as all get out at how rough he had been with the boy.

“Don’t be…” Xander said gently, blindly turning his head in Angel’s direction amilimiling. “If I didn’t enjoy what we were doing, I could have always yelled for you to stop. ‘Sides, what’s a little bruising between fuckbuddies?” He wiggled his brows lecherously, leering blindly at Angel. Smiling at the chuckle of real laughter from the vampire.

“What will I ever do with you?” Angel snickered, then froze in dismay at his words.

But Xander’s beaming smile never faltered, despite his strong inclination to drop to his knees and plead with Angel to simply love him, stay with him. “Be my friend…?” he suggested instead, cocking his head to the side.

And Angel felt a lump form in his throat at the out Xander gave him. “Always…” he replied huskily. Stepping forward, he hugged his beautiful lover to him. “Le grá go deo,” he whispered. With love forever, he silently repeated.

Xander stood patiently while Angel dressed him. Then they were once again on their way. This journey, so much different from the first journey below. No foul, livid curses from Xander filled the air, nor angry snarling silence.

Only the quiet, suffering silence of two lovers reluctantly parting.


Angel took Xander some distance away from the exit they used. He was aware of the hidden eyes that took note of his human and knew that Xander wasn’t out of danger just yet.

With the safety of Undervale at hand, the Council took no chances. Any human or demon caught betraying the location of the underground community was swiftly executed. No reprieve. No grandstanding speeches. No excuses.

Just a swift, inexorable death.

The vampire knew he had to get Xander as far away from the opening as possible before he removed the boy’s blindfold. A feeling of pride ran through him at the fearless way Xander strode at his side. From the confident way the boy walked, you would never guess he was about to shit his pants, Angel thought admiringly. Long association with the boy clued him in on Xander’s mannerisms. That extra bounce to his step and head high was a sure-fire indication that Xander was scared. He only acted that confident at his most scaredness.

“Are they still watching…?” Xander whispered out the side of his mouth as he ambled hand-in-hand with Angel down the empty streets of Sunnydale. Proving that he was aware of the watchful eyes on them.

“Yeah…they’ll always be watching you,” Angel replied quietly.

“For how long…?”

“Until they’re sure…”

“And that would be…?” Xander said evenly, stopping at Angel’s subtle signal. He blinked rapidly when the blindfold was removed.

“When you’re dead…” was the flat response.

“Logical…” Xander nodded thoughtfully. He looked around, orienting himself back to Sunnydale and recognized where he was. Four streets away from…home. His lips twisted sourly at that distasteful thought. Home was where the heart was…and his home was standing by his side. He sighed and moved slowly away from Angel, heading towards his parents’ house. All too aware of the silent presence sauntering at his side.

“What will you do now…? I remember Buffy being excited about going to college now, and Willow too,” Angel offered in the growing silence between them.

“It’s a little too late for me…’sides, no money,” Xander replied quietly. His pace slowing the closer they got to the house. “The old man didn’t quite…feel that I was college material,” he said cryptically. Not adding that when he asked his father what happened to the Studend fod forms, the burly man rose out of his chair and belted him across the room. Roaring some crap about his twice-damned bastard of a son trying to show him up by going to college. That’s when it got real ugly, Xander winced in painful remembrance. Absently rubbing at the shoulder his father had nearly dislocated that night in a drunken fury of self-righteousness.

Angel’s face rippled briefly, baring sharp jagged teeth. Enough conversations with the boy about his parents gave him enough clues to know that when talking about his father, Xander, without thinking, rubbed at some spot on his body.n arn arm, a leg, a jaw…so many places. And an expression of bewildered pain accompanied the unconscious movement.

“I think maybe it would be better if you stayed at the mansion,” Angel said abruptly without looking at how Xander took his words. “I mean, a man has to grow up and move out of his parents’ home at some point in time. To be a man…and to…uhm…grow up and be independently independent, ya know?!” he said wildly, pulling ideas out of the air. “Staying at the mansion would be perfect. You’ll have a place to stay and you’ll be independent,” he finished triumphantly.

Xander stopped walking to look at Angel in astonished disbelief. “Well, that’s all well and good but to be independent I need a job. A job that will provide the cash, which in turn will provide food, clothing and electricity for this independent man,” he replied with strained patience.

Angel stopped as well and faced the boy. “There’s money in the mansion…” he responded quietly. “Thousands of dollars that I won’t need where I’m going,” he said persuasively and stepped closer. “You can have it all, just don’t go back to your parents’ house,” he begged softly.

Xander’s eyes narrowed, then understanding dawned in his eyes and he turned away, humiliated. “Angel, don’t…” he said hoarsely, wrapping his arms around himself, rejecting the vampire’s outstretched hand.

The vampire hesitated, then reached for the boy. Darting a look around, he pulled the shivering mortal into a darkened alley. “You always rub some part of your body when you talk about HIM,” and there was a world of hate in that one word.

Xander leaned his head against Angel’s and sighed. “It’s not your problem…”

Angel stroked his hands down Xander’s back and thought. A hard smile was on his face when he responded. ay, ay, I’ll make you a deal,” he said quietly. “You stay at the mansion, use the money that’s there until you find a job and I’ll let your father continue wasting valuable breathing space on this earth,” he finished evenly. There was no threat or warning in his voice. Just a simple statement of fact.

The boy’s dark, shaggy head jerked up. “Dude, that’s not even fun…” and his voice trailed off at the hard, cold light in Angel’s eyes. He swallowed hard. “Your redemption…” he said weakly.

“So I’ll have to work harder…” Angel shrugged carelessly, his eyes fixed on the boy’s wide eyes. “Redemption doesn’t begin overnight, I’m sure they know there’ll be some backsliding,” he said vaguely. “Now, do we have a deal…?”

“Well, when you put it that way, I guess so,” Xander muttered shakily.

Angel beamed a cheerful smile at the shaken boy. “As long as I get my way, it’s all good,” he replied reassuringly.

Politely, he escorted his boy to the mansion. An expansive feeling of goodwill filling him at the thought of Xander living in his home. Well, not exactly his…but it was close enough to satisfy his demon, Angel thought wryly.


Stopping briefly to purchase food for the human, they headed to the mansion. Showing Xander around, then changing the sheets on the bed, Angel dithered, looking wildly around for something else to show the boy. Anything to keep from leaving.

“Go…” came a soft command.

The vampire looked desperately at his boy, his expression filled with pain and regret. “Go…you have a great, big destiny thing waiting for you out there,” Xander stated gently, hiding his pain behind a smile. “Sunrise will be in a few short hours and you need to be out of here and on your way.” I…I…I…I…can stay…and leave…uhm…at sunset!” Angel stated with insd gld glee. He started for the young mortal. Only to have Xander hold up a hand firmly, stopping him in his tracks.

“Angel…if you touch me, you and I both know you’ll find some other excuse not to go,” Xander said evenly. “So you need to leave NOW…and don’t look back.”

“But…”

“GO…!” Xander yelled brokenly, his hands fisting at his sides. He blinked rapidly to clear his eyes of tears. “GET OUT and find your fuckin’ redemption…!”

Angel drew back, his face tormented as tears won the battle and fell down his boy’s face. He stepped back again, his face in the shadows. Another step, then another.

And somehow, Xander knew Angel was gone. Moving like a weary old man, he stumbled to the bedroom and colld ond on the bed. Curling into a ball of misery, his chest aching with the need to wail like a baby, he finally began crying, muffling his sobs in the pillow.

For four long, anguished days and nights he languished in the bed. Feeling more dead than alive. He couldn’t even bring himself to go see Willow, Buffy or Giles. Especially Buffy, he winced. Now that he was back, the guilt of loving Angel was nearly killing him. Which deepened his depressed mood.

Occasionally, he would get up and desultorily heat a can of soup. But he would only eat half a bowl before pushing it away and retreating back to the safe, comforting haven of the bed. Wallowing in memories of him and Angel, together and making love.

He snuck to his parents’ house and retrieved his CD collection, and generally listened to Patsy Cline. Damn, but that woman just didn’t know how to be happy. But right now, she suited his mood. And his mood was one with the music of pain. Especially ‘Crazy’.

Love that runs away from me
Dreams that just won't let me be
Blues that keep on botherin' me
Chains that just won't set me free
Too far away from you and all your charms
Just out of reach of my two empty arms

It wasn’t really the sex that he missed the most; it was the long conversations by the fireside. Sex with Angel was mindblowing and out of this world, but it was the laughter, the discussion of books, the quiet contented silence just listening to the crackling of the flames that he craved.

It was the nights that were the worst. Sometimes he would wake up, his dick rigid, throbbing and aching like a bitch and he would have to jerk off to relieve the painful tight pressures. Then there were times when he woke up from a particularly erotic dream of him and Angel making love, and find the sheets wet and soaking from his ejaculation.

Each night in dreams I see your face
Memories time can't erase
I awake and find you gone
I'm so blue and all alone
So far away from lips so sweet and warm
Just of ref reach of my two empty arms

That ol' lonesome feelin' all the time
I know you'll never be mine
Dreams that hurt me in my sleep
I mean vows that we just couldn't keep

Too far away from you and all your charms
Just out of reach of my two empty arms

He felt like he was in the pits of hell, languishing after his departed lover. Fortunately, he had good ole Jaile to kick his ass back to the world of living.

Literally.

Sauntering into the mansion, the slender Erosno demon compassionately regarded the mournful young man. Resting his hands on the mattress, he smiled gentlen ten the red, teary eyes of the boy met his.

Then giving a strong yank, he tossed the mattress and flipped Xander out of the bed.

“Ooompf…!” With a painful audible thud, Xander hit the floor. For a few seconds, he saw bright stars dancing and tiny birds circling in front of his eyes. He lay there, catching his breath and wondering when the fuck did reality change because the Jaile HE knew wouldn’t be trying to kill him.

Calmly Jaile walked around the bed. Crouching, he regarded the wheezing boy with sympathetic eyes, before rising to his feet.

“Get up…you stink like week old fish!” he nudged Xander with his foot. Then harder when the boy didn’t move.

“Either you get up now, or I’ll kick you until you do,” he threatened softly. An unmistakable promise of painful mayhem in his silvery eyes.

Coughing and sputtering, Xander rolled over and staggered to his feet and regarded the demon with astonished eyes. “What the fuck…?” he breathed raggedly. His muscles trembling from the four days of inactivity.

“Go take a shower, change clothes and come down to the kitchen,” the sleek-skinned demon casually tossed over his shoulder. He ignored the sputtering from the boy. Then he turned around. “If you think about crawling back into that filthy bed, I will beat you. Very, very hard. And then I will shove your stinky ass into the shower. So you choose how it will be…” he raised a brow inquiringly. Waiting with cool, inhuman patience and smiling approvingly, when Xander lurched towards the bathroom.

His smile widened, such a good boy. He smirked at the annoyed slam of the door.

Muttering dire imprecations about mean, evil demons, an angry Xander, after washing thoroughly, stumbled to the kitchen. His nose, twitched at the delightful smells wafting from the pots on the stove.

Jaile turned from looking out of the window at the distinctively, now pleasantly smelling boy. “That’s better…”

Ladling food into two bowls, he set one in front of Xander and quietly ordered the young man to eat.

To Xander’s surprise, he polished off well over half the bowl within minutes before his stomach protested. Sitting back, he sighed in satisfaction. Then catching Jaile’s amused eyes, he stiffened, recalling the abrupt way he was thrown out of bed.

“Hey, what gives…?” he snapped, annoyed at the calm smile the other gave him.

Jaile sipped at his coffee. “Some of your friends were becoming worried about you,” he replied mildly. “They sent for me to ‘talk’ some sense into you.”

Xander blinked. “Friends…?” he asked cautiously, now recalling the disturbing sensation of being watched these past few days.

Clinging to the ceiling, an insectlike Warrior shimmered into view, dropping its’ camouflage. It’s thorax was decorated fanciful with red and purple colored beads. It was D’Kur, the one that always seemed to be nearby in Undervale. Flipping, it dropped to the floor and chirped anxiously, peering at the startled mortal with faceted eyes. Reaching into its’ pouch, it pulled out a piece of chocolate and this time, simply extended it to its’ human charge.

Xander’s eyes softened. He looked at Jaile, then at the D’Kur. “Friends…” he repeated softly, agreeing with the warrior. It was one of the few sounds he recognized that the insect Warriors used. He took the chocolate, struggling to smile.

“You’re part of their family…” Jaile said quietly. “Did you think we didn’t care? Angel made the best decision he felt he could make for the both of you. Good or bad, he’s only looking out for what’s best for you: trying to keep you safe.”

The young man looked down. “Yeah, I kinda figured that. I’ve always been the weak link,” he laughed bitterly. “It’s not like I got any fighting skills or anything.”

Jaile set down his cup and leaned forward, smiling mriouriously. “Then why not change…?”

Xander’s head came up quickly. His eyes narrowed on the glittery bright smile on the demon’s face. Slowly he smiled as well.


In the three months Xander was below, the remaining Scoobies went through some radical changes. While the note that Angel left Giles was comforting, not even Buffy was deluded enough to believe it. Although she quietly maintained Angel’s innocence, she still searched diligently for the missing Xander.

And the stress of not being able to locate Xander, or Angel for that matter begin to affect the group. But it was the absence of Xander, Oz slowly awoke to the fact, that had a pronounced effect on the remaining members. Willow was gradually retreating into nervous, stuttering silence and Buffy became a snapping, aggressive Slayer. He was both worried and alarmed at the changes he saw in them, yet helpless in the face of the developing situation.

Even Giles, he waazedazed to see, was acting atypical of his calm, English tweedself, displaying a disturbingly frightening temper. Wearing jeans and a black leather bomber jacket, Oz was horrified to see. All three were acting like they had lost a vital piece of themselves.

Eccentric he may be, but it didn’t take a mental genius to figure out the ‘why’ of they were acting the way they were. Maybe they were too close to the problem, maybe they just didn’t understand that without Xander as a…buffer or…or a connecting piece, they were slowly regressing back into who and what they were.

There was a terrifying source of tension building between the two girls that had Oz and his inner wolf on edge. Whining softly and aching to bite somebody. Preferably a Buffysomebody, but anybody would do.

It had all boiled to a head two months after Xander’s disappearance.

They were sitting in Giles’ living room, wearily going over what search pattern they would use to locate Xander. Willow had failed spectacularly in their efforts to use magic to find their friend, a fact that had Buffy smirking.

Long buried feelings of bitter anger at the shy, redheaded witch was rising in her.

“Oh, why don’t we have Willow do another magic spell?” she exclaimed brightly, then frowned with patently false sympathy. “Oh, yeah, that’s right, s not not very good with the Samantha Stevens.”

Willow flushed, nearly stammering as she protested thae wae was just a beginning witch. She looked like she wanted to run and hide.

“I know…” Buffy nodded wisely, ignoring Giles’ warning glare at her. Her eyes were fixed on the upset face of her ‘friend’. “Why if you were any good, you would have been able to do the spell to re-curse Angel.” Bitch! She silently added.

Willow girl blinked rapidly. “But I did…I did do the spell! Didn’t I, Oz?!” she turned anxiously to her boyfriend who nodded in confirmation. “Xander must have got there too late to tell you to stall. I’m sorry…” she squeaked, tears painfully bright in her eyes.

Buffy froze, a dangerous hardness coming in her eyes. “Excuse me…? You told Xander WHAT?!”

“Uhm…that I was doing the Restoring Spell that Miss Calendar had translated, he was supposed to tell you to stall Angelus until the spell kicked in,” Willow said in confusion, shrinking back in her chair when Buffy exploded from her chair. Filling the air with vicious curses so vile that her mother would have treated her the old-fashioned way and washed her mouth out with soap.

“That…lying piece of…ooooooh, when I get my hands on him,” Buffy stormed. She whirled around with angry, clenched teeth. “He told me that you said, and I quote ‘kick his ass’, end quote.”

Willow paled alarmingly, her eyes wide and bright. “But…I nev wou wouldn’t…”

“D’uh…!” Buffy snapped turning away. “God, I stabbed Angel and sent him to hell because of what that spiteful, jealous bastard said,” she said despairingly, stumbling to a chair and holding her head in her hands. Hot tears of remorse and pain, dripping down her white strained face. “He lied to me, Giles…he lied…oh God, he lied!” she moaned softly in anguish, teetering between rage and despair.

Giles went to her, soothing words of comfort as he drew his sobbing Slayer to his chest. Willow huddled against Oz, trembling in disbelief at how Xander had willfully used her, used her ‘voice’ to make Buffy send Angel to hell. Did he hate Angel that much she asked herself, and sighed at the answer that came. Yes.

But behind Oz’s stoic face, his mind was racing. Worrying at a sense of wrongness in Buffy’s words.

The blonde slayer pulled away from her Watcher. “I’m sorry Giles, but I won’t…” she shakily began, her chin quivering, “I can’t be a party to looking for Xander right now. If I found him, right now, I don’t know what I would do to him,” she said painfully. Her eyes lowered in shame at the thought of willfully hurting a human. Not just any human but a human that was once her friend. Because with this knowledge running through her head, she just couldn’t think of Xander as a friend any longer.

He entered the category of unfriend, she solemnly thought.

“That’s quite all right, the rest of us will find him. Perhaps there’s a logical and reasonable explanation,” Giles replied comfortingly, but there was a helpless note of confusion in his voice as he ruminated on the young boy. While Xander was sometimes frustratingly annoying and grating, especially towards the vampire, he couldn’t quite grasp the fact that Xander could possibly do something THIS spiteful.

So while Buffy patrolled, Oz, Willow and Giles continued the search for their companion. Giles would sometimes accompany his Slayer on her patrols, while Willow and Oz searched for Xander. Or sometimes, on days that Oz had a late night session with his band, Willow paired up with Giles, leaving Buffy to patrol alone.

Coming into the third month, even Willow tentatively allowed the idea that Xander wouldn’t be found. At least, not alive in the alivelike way she liked to see her Xander be. Alive in an unvampire like way, which would be…dead, not alive, caused vampires were, not. Her words a nervous rush of sound, terror and dread eating slowly at the hope of finding him.


Oz sighed as he clambered into his van. Leaning tiredly back against the seat, he groaned. Exhilarated, yet weary beyond belief, he smiled, remembering just how rockin’ the band had sounded tonight. Then his smile faded, a look of despair seeping into him.

College was beginning in two days. It was slowly becoming clear that two things were going to happen: er ter they found Xander, and the group reformed into some type of working order; or…

“…Willow will go insane,” he whispered the dark thought out loud. Acknowledging the claim the other boy had on his girlfriend’s heart. That Willow loved him, he had no doubt; that Willow also loved Xander, now that was harder to face. As mad as she was right now with the dark-haired boy, she loved him fiercely. That’s what was really causing his girlfriend to almost spiral out of control. Trying to reconcile her furious anger with her love. As many times as he tried to tell her that you COULD be angry and love someone, he didn’t think she was listening. Or understood that significant fact just yet.

He absently started the van and began slowly driving. It wasn’t a romantic love that Willow felt for Xander, it was like there was a missing piece of her soul that was shaped like the absent boy. And while he was gradually making inroads on adapting that place in her heart to fit him, he wasn’t certain he would be in time to stop Willow’s down…he frowned abruptly and sharply pulled the van over to the curb.

Sniffing the air, his senses sharper with the coming of the full moon in another week, he stumbled out of the van. Tracking the familiar scent, his eyes widening at the sight of the mansion in front of him.

But the scent was fresh, he silently protested in bewilderment. His eyes narrowing slightly, he strode te doe door and politely knocked. Just like his mama taught him.

Xander’s head came up from the book he was reading at the knock on the door. Two weeks and he was still afraid to face his human friends, especially the Buffy friend. The fact that they were both ex-lovers of the same man was not something he was easy about revealing.

Sometimes secrets were secrets for a damn good reason. And they also kept you from getting an old-fashioned ass kickin’ from a pissed-off slayer, he thought ruefully as he crossed the room to answer the door. He was halfway expecting company in formform of Jaile coming to give him more sparring lessons.

He looked down in nervous dread at the sight of Oz on the doorstep. “Oz…dude…uhm
…hello…?” he managed to stammer out.

Oz regarded the anxious Xander in the doorway with his usual deadpanned expression. “I was in the neighborhood, selling Girl Scout cookies for my troop and I thought, ‘Hey, that’s an interesting house, wonder if the big, nasty vampire that lives there would like to buy some ies?ies?’ and here I am.” He strolled past Xander, into the house and looked around, inhaling various scents and odors. He fixed his attention on a certain spot on the far wall, and came to the conclusion that he had better not make any sudden moves towards Xander.

Xander blinked and looked at Oz, wondering at the boy’s tenuous grasp on reality. “But you’re not a girl…” he pointed out reasonably.

Oz looked down then back up. He turned to look at Xander. “I’m undercover…”

“Ahhh,” Xander said wisely, eyeing the smaller teen warily. He shut the door, and gave it a sorrowful look.

Oz gave the taller young man a serious look over his shoulder. “What happened…and don’t bother to lie.” He kept his voice calm and low, while carefully keeping part of his attention faced forward, just in case he needed to make a break for it.

Xander deflated, he ran a hand roughly over his face. “Sit down…” he gestured to a chair, bought with some of the money Angel had left him.

He hesitated, unsure of how much to tell Oz and decided to tell as much as he could without going into details. Especially about Undervale. Though a supernatural creature, he wasn’t exactly sure where Oz’s loyalties would lie: topside or below.

“After I left Giles’ that night, I…decided that I would rid Sunnydale of Angel’s ‘evil’,” he began, adding the little bunny quotes, “Presence. Fortunately, Angel was in a generous mood and chose not to…damage me too much. He thought me really lacking in certain practical knowledge about the demons and decided to…uhm…educate me, you could say. Some of the lessons were brutal, and painful. VERY painful at times…but I learned.” As he spoke, he picked at the pair of brand new pants he was wearing. Grimacing slightly at the dark, sleek materials. Jaile didn’t trust him to buy anything, he groused silently. All his new shirts were annoyingly tight, and not one loud, garishly bright color among them.

Oz calmly regarded Xander, his eyes cool on the fidgeting young man as he deciphered what was carefully NOT being said and what the odors of the house was telling him. Every time Xander mentioned Angel’s name, a certain scent would fill the air.

Looking around the room again, his eyes paused on an empty spot on the floor near Xander before moving on.

He nodded to himself, coming to a wild, improbable conclusion. “So, you and Angel…?” he tossed out casually, his eyes watchful on Xander’s still face. His eyes narrowed on the faint tide of color that washed over Xander’s cheeks.

“You and Angel are or were lovers…” he stated firmly. Abruptly holding up a hand when Xander opened his mouth. “Look, I’m not judging you…you and Angel…not my problem. ‘Sides, you’re as much of an adult as...everybody else,” he said vaguely. Then his expression hardened slightly. “But Willow is my…” was all he managed to say when Xander gasped, his face paling.

“Willow…! Is she okay? I’m sorry, I just…I couldn’t face her…I just needed time to get a grip on myself…” Xander said anxiously, clear worry in his eyes.

And Oz relaxed. For a brief time he had wondered if Xander cared about Willow as much as his witchy girlfriend cared about the other. “Yeah, she’s just missing you…” he replied softly, gently. Smiling at the relief that filled Xander’s eyes.

He looked away from the shining expression in the boy’s eyes, his smile fading. “But…” he hesitated, unsure how to tell the other what was going on.

Xander frowned, his eyes darkening with fear. He felt a smooth hardness touch his hand. “But what?”

Oz looked back at the boy, his eyes revealing a quiet sadness. “She knows…Buffy knows that you lied about Willow resouling Angel.”