Choices

A/N: Thank you for the reviews and to all the faithful readers of this story! :)
Just wanted to let you all know that it while it might seem that I am heading into mostly B/S territory, it will NOT just be that. There will be B/A/S...just got a bit of work to get there, but keep the faith! Keep reading and reviewing please!! :) More reviews equals faster chapters :)

Chapter Seven


The first sensation Buffy had when she woke up was of being incredibly thirsty. The next was of having to pee, the third was the feeling of something slightly heavy on her belly and air being blown on her neck. She opened her eyes immediately and nearly gasped. When Spike said he would stay until she fell asleep, he wasn't kidding. He had apparently decided to sleep with her too. It was his breath on her neck(had to be a habit), his large hand on her stomach. She looked slowly at him. He was contentedly sleeping, his body turned towards hers. She started to move and his hand moved across her belly and wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer against him. He moaned and Buffy swallowed. She felt tiny rockets of pleasure shooting off in her body. Spike was in bed with her, touching her, clutching her close. She found that he was sharing her body heat, because he was just as warm as she was. She had to use the bathroom and desperately wanted water, but didn't want to spoil this moment either.

She had a crush on Spike.

The thought slammed into her well -rested body, causing her to tense. Was it a crush? Did twenty-one year olds still have crushes? Weren't they supposed to be onto something more adult and defining? To have a crush seemed so adolescent. And how could she have a crush on Spike? She'd known him since she was fifteen, he'd always been like another guardian, not someone she was supposed to have feelings of the adult kind for. Her mom loved Angel and Spike...her mom. She wished her mom were here to talk to about these confusing feelings. She wished she had someone to tell...she couldn't tell Angel. Something told her he would freak. She couldn't tell Willow, she'd introduced them as her brothers...how could she back pedal that one? She couldn't. Her mom was the only one who would understand. What would her mom tell her to do? She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to conjure up her mother's voice giving her the advice she so desperately needed.

"Are you all right, kitten? What's got you so upset?'

Her eyes flew open and her eye's met Spike's immediately. He was hovering above her, propped up on an elbow, staring at her in concern.

She felt the tears she hadn't known she was releasing fall down the side of her face.

"I--I'm fine."

He gently brushed her tears away with his fingertips, caressing her face at the same time. "Why the tears then luv?"

"I was thinking of my mom."

Spike nodded and lay back down, wrapping his arm back around her and snuggling close. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

She shook her head. "No."

"You can't keep it in forever.'

"I don't want to talk about it."

He sighed, needlessly. "I won't push, but just so you know--"

"You're here for me?"

He nodded against her. "Great woman your mum was. Often wished I had her as my own mum."

"She loved you Spike. She thought of you as the son she never had."

'Which only confuses things even more.'

"I know. I slipped a few times and called her 'mum' myself. She never paid any attention to it, it seemed so natural to do." His voice was right at her throat, the vibrations of his voice going through her, causing her body to hum. Had his voice always been this sexy?

'Stop thinking of how much you want him to kiss you.'

"How's the head?" He asked after a while.

"Fine. Tylenol and water...works like a charm."

"You don't mind that I fell asleep with you, do ya?"

'Mind? Ha. If you only knew.'

"No," she squeaked. "I mean, really how many times have we slept together before?" She was failing miserably at this. "I have to use the bathroom." She practically shoved him off her and scrambled out of bed, running to the bathroom and as far away from his as possible. Away from the feelings he evoked in her.

Xander. Think Xander. Nice, normal, non-brotherly. Human. Did that really matter to her? No. But it seemed a good thing to check off when thinking of reasons to not have these feelings about Spike. Spike couldn't give her children. Spike couldn't go to the beach with her. Spike couldn't do a number of things that Xander could do. However...Xander couldn't have her back in a battle. Xander didn't know about vampires, demons, Slayers, magick and what it felt like to have power surging through your body.

She felt tired, hungry and confused. She just wanted to go back to bed and curl up in a ball and sleep the day away. Yeah, that sounded like a plan. Or, better yet, get some food, then go back to sleep. Then later on she could----crap! Later on she could go on her date with human Xander. She never did get a chance to talk with Angel last night. And it wasn't like she could talk to him today with Spike in the house.

Turning on the shower she decided that there was no reason why she had to talk to Angel about it in the first place. Although, it would be nice of her to do so. But, then again, why? It was just a date. It could end up being just a one-time thing. It didn't mean it would end up being anything. She really, really, really wanted it to be soing ing though. If she could develop a thing for Xander that meant that her feelings for Spike were fleeting and meant nothing except the deep caring for the vampire that had been by her side all these years. It also meant that her feelings could have been the direct result of her spending too much time with him. It would make sense, and it wouldn?t matter anymore.

Eat, sleep, date. She sighed as the warm spray cleansed away her tension. Coming out of the shower, she was hit with the smell of eggs, bacon and possibly sausage. Her stomach growled in reaction and she hurriedly wrapped her hair in a towel, threw on her bathrobe and brushed her teeth. She came out to see Angel reading the paper and Spike cooking. A tall glass of milk and orange juice awaited her.

"Whoever said vampire's couldn't be domesticated?" She said cheerfully as she came in the kitchen. Angel looked up and smiled, Spike looked over his shoulder and growled. She gave him her best cheeky grin.

"How you feeling sweetheart?" Angel asked, putting his paper down and sipping from his mug.

"Fine. Just really, really thirsty and hungry."

"Then stop your yammering and drink up," Spike mock-demanded. She stuck her tongue out at him and he grinned.

Grabbing her milk, she downed it. Then she reached for her orange juice and did the same. Angel watched, fascinated. "You weren't kidding about being thirsty."

"Yeah, you know what it's like after a drink-fest--wait, scratch that. No, you don't. Well, I can tell you that drinking dehydrates you."

Angel smiled. "I know. Why do you think Spike drinks so much after binging?"

She shrugged. "I just thought it was him. He never seems to have a problem with an appetite for anything."

Angel smiled. "I know. Why do you think Spike drinks so much after binging?"

She shrugged. "I just thought it was him. He never seems to have a problem with an appetite for anything."

Angel laughed out loud and Spike tried to glare at her, but he couldn't do it. Instead, he puffed his chest out like a peacock. "Don't like to deny myself anything," he winked at Buffy. Her face flamed red, she was sure; she could feel it.

"Uh, so, what's going on in the world today, Angel?"

"Same old. What are your plans for today?"

"Nothing today. I was gonna go back to bed for a while, maybe even clean my room. I have plans tonight though."

Spike frowned. "You do?" He put a plate of food in front of her.

"Yeah, why?" She asked as she shoveled some eggs in her mouth.

"There's a Shakespeare play tonight at the college--Twelfth Night. Wanted to know if you wanted to go."

Now she felt like an ass. How could she lie to him? She couldn't. "Actually, those are my plans..." she mumbled and shoved a sausage in her mouth.

"With Willow?" Angel asked. Spike looked wounded.

She nodded. Nothing said she had to mention she had a date. God, why was this so hard? She didn't have anything to hide. Sure they were protective of her, but that was no reason to go and not tell them things. On the other hand, why did she have to tell anyone anything? It was new and exciting and if she went around telling the world her plans it could blow up in her face. Yeah, that was it. Telling them would cause bad luck to befall her date. What if it wasn't a date? What if it was just hanging out like she did everyday with Spike and Angel? That would suck. Then there would be nothing to be excited or so top secret about.

"You're frowning," Angel said in that way that told her he knew something was going on.

"Still thirsty," she told him and got up to get some water this time.

"Well, I suppose I'll patrol for a while then." Spike said and sipped his blood.

"I'll join you," Angel chimed in.

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief.

Saved.