Life Serial Revisited

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Chapter 7: Stop the World
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I will not turn and look at her…I will not turn and look at her… Yes, we play for bleedin’ kittens. So what? We’re demons, eh?

“So, who’s gonna advance me a tiny tabby?” Nobody answers. “Come on, someone’s gotta stake me.”

“I’ll do it!” Slayer thinks she’s very cute. Joking about making me dusty is not funny. This time I do turn and look at her. “What? You thought I was just gonna let that lie there?” And back to the bottle she goes, terribly pleased with herself.

Truth be told, she’s adorable. Cracking jokes – at my expense, no less – has not been of her pastimes lately. Too much frowning. Guess I should be glad to see signs of life. Only, better make sure she doesn’t get so drunk she follows through on one of these ‘jokes’. Also would be good if these guys don’t figure out she’s Demon Enemy No. 1. Might not like her company so much as I do.


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Bored bored bored. Oh, and a bit more bored. Looky there, Spike’s still cheating. These demons are not the sharpest tools in the shed. I would recommend not letting the vampire deal if I were them. If I were they? If I were those guys? Huh. I just wouldn’t let ‘im. His hands move way too fast for them to see. Fast hands. Yep. He’s got faaaast hands. Quick like a bunny. And skillful. Full with the skills. Wonder what else he can do with those haaaa -

Damn. I have got to stop thinking of him like this. ‘Cause the more I look at him, the more I want to way more than think about him. God, I’m really ungrammatical in my head. Again, that’s the booze making me talk funny. Yep, the booze, for sure.

Wha? Spike looked at me, but I missed what he said. Charm? I’m a charm? Mm, more boooooze. This bottle sure doesn’t hold much. ‘m almost done. Eww. Not getting any tastier, that’s for sure, but the warm fuzzies are nice.

Oh boy. They caught him cheating. Blah blah blah. God, demons are just like guys. Ego and arguing and stuff. You’re gonna lose your kittens, Spikey boy.

HEY! Ugly? Did that scaly face demon just call me ugly? And what did wrinkle boy say ‘bout me? Yah, my skin is tight. I moisturize. What of it? If I wasn’t busy sittin’ here, I’d give you…well, a piece of mind. Not sure I can swing very accurately right this second. But I’m way offended. Yeah.

Damn, Spike is hot when he’s defending me. All tense jaw and swagger. Wait, did I say he is hot? Where the hell did that thought come from? Just ‘cause he is ready to knock heads over an insult to my non-ugliness? Or was it that skin thing? Kinda sweet, I must say. Stupid male stuff, but sweet.

Alrighty, last swig. Let the boys duke it out while I say hello to the bottom of the bottle. Hel-looo, bottom!
I let the bottle drop to the floor and try to listen to Spike again. Oh no, that’s not gonna happen. Spike is picking a fight for both of us. Like I’m gonna defend his honor and get all dirty in the process? He was cheating, after all…

“What? I’m not getting into a bar fight! I’ll beat ‘em up for information, great, but not to defend your right to gamble for kittens. Which, by the way, is stupid currency.”

I’m outta here. This is so not working. Wanted Spike to find out who’s messing with me. Instead, we’re stuck in a back room while he cheats at poker and I’m thinking about how nice his ass looks in those jeans and wondering if he’ll ever take off the duster so I can stare at his muscle-y arms and the aforementioned ass again. And that is so far from what I came to him for. It is. Really. I wanted him to be all Spike-y. With head-knocking and…and…I have to get out of here. This way leads to badness.

Oh and now he’s telling me what I need? What I need is not a fight. I need…I need…to free the kittens, first of all. And then, I dunno. Can’t very well tell him I need HIM, huh? “Forget it. I'm not playing by anyone else's rules anymore. I'm done.” And whoo, drunk. Walking is f-u-n. Not.

“Scamper! Be free, kittens.” Wow, it’s kitten-palooza back here. This night has gone so wrong. I can’t feel this way about him. It’s…who is spinning the room around, anyway?

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Slayer has just lost it. Tossed my winnings all over the table and they are running loose. I thought…I thought a spot of violence would make her feel like her old self.

And now she’s taking off, damn it.

“What’s wrong, luv?” I catch her in the bar, grab her by the shoulder, but she shrugs me off. Again.

“What’s wrong? You were gonna help me! You were gonna beat heads and fix my life…”

I’m floored. Buffy really thought I could fix her life? I...

“…And the only person I can even stand to be around is a - neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker!”

Hey now. Not exactly neutered... “Oh, you saw the cheating, did you?” Even drunk she’s quick on the uptake. But wait, I’m the only person she can stand to be around?

“Also? I think you're drunk.” Maybe a little. But hey, where’s she going? I’m starting to think encouraging her to drink was not such a hot idea. She’s positively unreasonable. And did that thing mean she likes being around me? I mean, I guess I never…uh-oh, Slayer overboard. Better go save her before some demon has himself a lucky night.

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Fresh air. Thank god. Okay, fresher air. Not like this alley is smelling like a field of flowers. But the bar, with the smoke and the miscellaneous demon smells. Not so mixy with a bottle of whiskey. Or was it tequila? Guess I never asked.

Whoa. Van. Isn’t that the…? Oh good, here’s Spike. Looks pissed. Pissed at me?

“That van.” He turns and looks at it with me.

“You wanna steal a van, I’m with you, luv, but we do have the motorcycle…”

“I’ve seen it before. At the construction site. I’m gonna check it out.” I wander towards the black van. Slowly. So as to keep the world from tipping sideways and all. Oh. Big red demon guy. With wings. Kind of like a big bat or somethin’. I can take him.

WHOA! Swing and a miss. Let’s try this move! Ka-pow! Kick to the chest, that got him. But ouchy. Who moved the ground so close to my butt? Gross. And I’m so going to feel that tomorrow. Get up, Buffy. Get up get up get up. Stupid demon. I’m going to kick your ass until your ass is all red. Only maybe it already is…I should just get up.

What the ? Who? Oh, it’s Spike. I got it, I got it. “I’m okay, I’m fine! Get off me.” I know, I’m being a bitch, but I can’t have him touching me. Makes me get all soft on the ‘Spike does not affect me like that policy.’

Holy crap. *cough cough* Stupid demon blew up. All David Copperfield with the fog and the disappearing. And where’d the van go, anyway?

“He blew up. Did you see that?”

“Yeah, I saw.”

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Gotta love it, you know. It makes you feel all powerful.” That’s my girl. Killing…or what, vaporizing…a demon was just what the doctor ordered. “Strong.” That’s right.

Slayer looks a little green around the gills. Uh-oh. “Kinda sick.” Oh no. That’s no good.

“Slayer?” She wavers on her feet as she looks up at me, eyes going out of focus. “Buffy? Stay with me, luv.”

“I…I think I may…I might just…” Lights out. I catch her before she hits the ground, her body warm and limp in my arms. That was unexpected. I kinda thought she would toss her cookies instead of dropping like a rock.

But now what? I grab under her knees and swing her up into my arms, head lolling back over my right elbow. This is not a good place to have an incapacitated Slayer. Gotta get outta here.

Hm. Giles is at her house. I don’t think the Watcher would be too keen on me bringing an unconscious and drunk Slayer to the front door. Plus Nibblet might take it wrong. Not like I was trying to hurt her. Trying to help her, but I can hear it now. No, I better take her to my crypt, let her sober up. I’ll have enough hell to pay when she wakes up with the headache to end all headaches.

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Ooohhhh. Stop stop stop. Stop the world. Make it stop moving, I swear or I’m gonna…gonna, well, I better not say it. Might make me do it. Where the hell am I ? I’m floating and no…I’m being carried. By someone wearing leather who smokes cigarettes. Hmm. That narrows it down. Unless I’ve been abducted by a biker.

I finally force my eyes open just a slit to see the flash of platinum blond I needed to confirm my belief that the nice hard body I’m leaning against is Spike’s. I knew it.

“Spike.” I’m surprised he can even hear me. My voice sounds childlike to me, barely a whisper. But instantly he stops. That’s better.

“Slayer? You okay?” Wow. Concern. Dripping with concern. Worry, even. I force my eyes open again and I’m struck. He is yingying my face, eyebrows drawn together, eyes searching mine for…for what? God, those eyes. In this light, they are just dark, but I know the blue. And I certainly know the intensity in them now.

“Yeah. Just…the fight got me all dizzy and stuff.”

My body shakes with Spike’s low chuckle. “Some fight, luv. You were like…” Hey. Don’t make fun of drunk Slayers, now. I scowl. “…um, you did fine. Demon’s gone, right?”

I nod. Spike just keeps looking at me and I realize how close we are. He’s lifted up his right arm to get a look at my face, bringing me with it. Less than a foot between me and those…those lips. All soft and inviting…unfair.

My eyes dart from his eyes to his mouth and my tongue darts out to wet my lips. ‘Cause they were dry, not ‘cause I wanna kiss him, mind you. It’s just that he’s, uh, holding me all tight and looking at me all soft and…

Spike straightens up. Without kissing me. I’m speechless. But he…he likes me. He said so! And I was just all encouraging and even though I shouldn’t have been and should be relieved at this very second, all I can really think is that he is probably a really good kisser and I didn’t get to find out.

“Think you can walk, Slayer or should I…?”

Should you kiss me? Yes, you freakin’ should. But I don’t say that. Of course. “I can walk, Spike. I think. Can you help…?” By kissing me now? But no, he just sets me to the ground and I’m all wobbly. And there he is again, all leather and firmness, holding out his arm for me.

“Hold onto my arm, Buffy. You want to take the bike or walk?”

“Depends.” Here we go.

“On?”

“On where we’re going.” Oh god, I tried really hard to make my voice all steady and sexy and like I know what I’m sayin’, but it came out all waver-y.

I feel Spike’s whole body go rigid. He sounds very…nervous. “And where are…we…going?” That’s right, Spikey, I said we. Me and you makes we.

I dart my eyes he ghe ground ‘cause he’s turning those baby blues towards me. I crack under them and I can’t just blurt out what I’m thinkin’. I’m more than a little tipsy and I know he won’t believe me. Yet.

Wonder if I can swing nonchalant with this many butterflies in my tummy? “Just…uh, I can’t go home like this. All drunk and all…uh. Can I…would you mind if…couldIgohomewithyou?”

He understood me. Only reason he could be staring at me like that. And dummy me, I made eye contact. Speechless. Never seen Spike like that. Makes me want to giggle so bad. But I’m serious and he won’t get it if I giggle. Only I think he’s gonna freak. Uh-oh. “’Til I sober up?”

He swallows real hard. Almost a gulp. I see it. “Sure, Slayer. No problem. So, the bike, then? It’s further to my…place.”

Mmm. I answer quickly. Really super quickly. “Yes! The bike, yes!” I clap a little and Spike’s eyebrow shoots up like someone hooked it. God, that’s hot. Besides, what’s a little bike ride gonna do? It’s not bad. It’ll clear my head. Yeah, clear my head. Yup.

Plus, you gotta hold on, right? For safety and stuff. So, yeah. Hands in yummy places again.

Yep. For safety’s sake. Uh-huh.


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Author’s Note: So, this chapter is the one where I leave the episode behind. Everything has happened within the framework of the ep until near the end of this chapter. Thanks for the reviews. I hope to hear from more folks who are enjoying this fic! -Ti