Once and Again

Chapter Thirteen: Trial and Error

Randall knocked confidently on Trull's door anterntered when told to do so. He walked proudly to his desk.

"Please tell me something worth my time." Trull said from his large leather chair.

Randall smiled down at him. "Yes Master. I hope this will please you." Randall said to him as he extended his hand, laying the medallion Ravyn had stolen from him.

Trull's eyes lit up at the site of it. He smiled big as he picked the gold medallion up. "Ah, yes.....just what I've been waiting for." he beamed.

Randall smiled, knowing his Master was pleasith ith him.

"And my pet? Is she securely back in her chains?" Trull asked, never taking his eyes from the medallion he held.

Randall fidgeted, he thought maybe Trull would be happy enough with the return of the medallion that he would have cared less about the return of Ravyn.

"Well?" Trull asked, looking up. He could see his answer in Randall's face. "WHY NOT!" he screamed as he stood, eyes blazing an eerie golden orange. "I WANT HER BACK HERE!"

"Yes Master......it's just....well...."

"WHAT!....WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE HER?!" he continued to scream in a fit of rage.

"She fought back Master. She killed four of my men." Randall told him, bowing his head as he did.

Trull chuckled softly at first, then laughed. His laughter became harder until he fell back in his chair, almost hysterical.

Randall looked up, smiling along with Trull, as he continued to laugh.

Trull finally brought his laughto a o a stop, only chuckling slightly everytime he thought about it and straightened himself in his chair before looking back over at Randall.

"So...you're telling me, my little bird has flown the coup and turned from a mute, spaced out whiny girl into.....a killer?" Trull asked, his amusement now gone."Is that what you're telling me?"

"Yes Master. She was quiet effective."

Trull sat and stared at Randall for a few minutes. "Well...this I would like to see."

"Do you still want her, Master?" Randall asked, bowing his head once again.

"YES YOU IDIOT! I WANT THAT BITCH BACK HERE!"

Randall looked up at the once again furious face of Trull. "They've moved her Master. It will take time to find where they've taken her."

"How much time?" Trull asked him. "I'm ready for Brazil."

"I'm not sure. I think she has wit with the vampire."

Trull leaned his head to the side. "Vampire? What vampire?"

"The vampire they call Spike, Master."

Randall saw the orange glow illuminate Trull's eyes once more at the mention of Spike's name.

"So....she found her vampire after all this time." Trull said as he leaned back in his chair. "And how long till you can locate her?"

"Not long Master. I know a club...where they hang out at. That's how I found her."

"So...you can follow hgaingain?"

"Well....I um...."

"WHAT!?"

"Well see Master....I have yet to be able to follow Spike. Heo fao fast for me to follow. I always lose him." Randall said bowing his head once again at his own incompetence.

"Then..WHAT do you suppose you are going to do?"

"Well Master.....If I may....borrow 'the new pet' I may be able to win her trust with him." Randall said, hoping Trull would buy his plan.

Trull ed oed over to the cage in the corner and smiled. "Fine...do what you must. BUT....if you fail me again......You Die!"

"Yes Master....she will be returned." Randall told him confidently as he slowly backed away from the desk.

Randall reached for the door handle and opened the door, ready to set another plan into action.

"Oh....one more thing Randall...." Trull said smiling viciously.

"Yes Master?"

"KILL......her vampire!!" Trull said, venom dripping from his words.

Randall smiled. "It will be done."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike woke to find himself alone in bed. He lifted his head and looked around the room. Ravyn was no where in site.

Rolling over and standing he walked over and checked the bathroom before heading out into the other parts of the house.

"Ravyn?" Spike asked as he walked through the house. He instantly went into a panic when he didn't see her and tore out the door, clad only in a pair of boxer shorts.

He sighed in relief when he saw her sitting on the beach, staring out at the ocean. He smiled and shook his head as he walked down the steps of the deck, making his way to her.

"You know, you almost gave me a heart attack." Spike said as he sat down behind Ravyn, pulling her back against him as he wrapped his arms around her.

Ravyn chuckled as she turned her head and looked at him. "You can't have a heart attack Spike. I thought we covered that already." she said, leaning up, givinm a m a small kiss.

"Yeah well....I would have been the first." he said, wrapping her tighter in his arms. "What are you doing out here?"

"Just listening." she told him as she laid her head back against his shoulder.

"Listening for what?"

"Peace."

"Peace? You can hear that out here?" Spike asked, smiling at her.

"Yeah....be quiet and you can hear it." she said grabbing his arms, pulling them tighter around her.

Spike laid his cheek on Ravyn's head and listened. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore line and the wind softly blowing were almost hypnotizing. He shut his eyes and just let the sound surround him as he held on to Ravyn. He smiled as he opened his eyes back up, placing a small kiss on her head.

"Is that why you love the beach so much?" he asked her quietly.

"Yeah. Whenever I was worried or upset, the beach is always where I went. It's almost like you lose yourself here." she told him softly. "Nothing can ever hurt you here....it's peaceful, almost...heaven."

"Well, you don't have to worry. They won't find you here." he told her softly, knowing that was why she was there that night.

"What if they do?" she asked, turning her head to look up at him.

"They'll have to kill me to take you away from me again." Spike told her, smiling slightly as he held her hair back away from her face.

Ravyn sighed and wrapped an arm around his neck. That was what she was 'really' worried about. She had spent thirty years learning how to deal with Trull. She could do it again if she needed to. Living with the knowledge that Spike was gone....that was something she knew she would 'never' be able to accomplish.

Spike stared out at the ocean, memories of losing her the first time, rushing back to his mind. He remembered how lost he had felt. How helpless...watching that warehouse burn, knowing there was nothing he could do to save her.

"Ravyn....how did you make it out of that warehouse?"

Ravyn looked up at him briefly before taking a deep breath. She let it out slowly as she recalled the events of that night.

"After you and Buffy cleared the door, I was jumped by two vamps. I was able to kick them off, but as I reached the door, Trull grabbed me." she told him, closing her eyes as the start of heng nng nightmare was recalled. "We struggled, and he grabbed my hand as I pulled away from him. He hit the button on the explosives detonator. When the first bomb went off, he grabbed me and ran as the other's went off."

"So, you weren't even in the building when it went up?" Spike asked as he looked down at her.

"No. We ran out a side entrance. The bag was in the back of the warehouse. So we just barely cleared the door when the place went completly up."

Spike thought about what she had told him. If she were outside before it blazed then.......

"I saw you." she told him softly.

Spike looked at her as tears filled her eyes.

"I saw you yelling for me. I called out to you, but Trull drug me back away from the building. I guess you couldn't hear me for the explosions."

Spike kissed her head and gave her a tight squeeze. "I didn't hear you." he told her quietly. "I would have come for you if I would have known."

Ravyn smiled. "I know." she said looking back up at him. "You're here now....that's all that matters to me."

Spike leaned down, softly touching her lips with his. "I love you." he said against her lips as he slowly kissed her.

Ravyn sat up straighter, wrapping her arm tighter around his neck as she turned slightly. Pulling his head down and holding it in place, she ran her tongue along his lips, darting inside once they parted.

As her tongue was met with his own, a small war was fought, dueling as they explored each other. Ravyn wrapped her free arm around Spike's waist, leaning into him as he pulled her closer. She moaned softly as he ran his hand through her hair, sucking on her tongue as he did.

Spike ran his hand up inside the back of Ravyn's shirt, needing to fell her. He held her head to him, sucking and nipping at her lips as she moaned into his mouth. Pulling away from her lips, he kissed a line down her jaw, making his way to her neck.

Ravyn leaned her head to the side, giving him better access as he bit at her flesh with his blunt teeth. She held his head to her, as her body started to tingle, her arousal quickly overtaking her.

Spike unfastened her bra, moving his hand across her back, slowly making his way around to her breast. Ravyn leaned back, allowing him to touch her.

Spike found her left breast, as he found her mouth again, kissing her deeply as he massaged the soft mound. Rubbing his thumb over her erect nipple, Ravyn arched into his hand, her breathing becoming labored as he continued to massage her breast.

"I want you" Spike whispered against her lips as he turned her, laying her down. He ran his leg in-between her's, as he rained kisses down chin and throat, lifting her shirt as he did.

Exposing her breast, he lowered his head, taking it into his mouth. Ravyn moaned softly as he flicked her nipple with his tongue, biting at it as he did. Spike shifted, bringing his other leg in, positioning himself completely between her legs as he ground his throbbing erection into her.

Ravyn held his head to her, concentrating on what he was doing and the sounds of the ocean as the first dark images came to her. Blocking them out, she wrapped her legs around his thighs, pressing her hips up, rocking against him as he pressed himself into her.

Moving his attention to her other breast, Spike gave it the same attention as the first as he lowered his hand, running it along her side to her hip. He leaned to the side slightly, allowing room for his hand to squeeze in-between their two bodies, slipping inside the waistband of her shorts.

Ravyn clenched her eyes shut tightly as she felt his finger's slid in-between her folds, gently sliding further down to her opening.

Spike looked up as he felt her body stiffen slightly and saw the strained look on her face. He stilled his hand before slowly removing it and laying his head on her chest. He let out a soft breath as he closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry" Ravyn whispered to him as her eyes remained closed.

Spike laid there for a few seconds, trying to calm himself before lifting his head to look at her. He crawled up her body and placed a small kiss on her lips. "Don't be." he told her. "We get further every time." he said as he wrapped his arms around her. "I love you."

Ravyn opened her eyes to look at him and could see the disappointment on his face. She hated doing that to him, knowing that even though they get further each time....she pushed him further as well.

Wrapping her arms tightly around him, Ravyn closed her eyes as he laid his head on her shoulder, trying to figure out why...if she wanted him as much as he wanted her...then why did the images always come, blocking him out. Running her finger's through his hair she tried to figure out a way to see that this was the last time they had to stop.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Angel Investigations" Dawn said cheerfully into the receiver.

"Hey Dawn." Ravyn said smiling.

"Hey Ravyn.....everything okay?" Dawn asked, instantly worried something was wrong.

"Yeah...everything's fine."

"Well...you don't sound fine." Dawn said, taking in Ravyn's tone of voice. "Did something happen?"

Ravyn let out a sigh and closed her eyes briefly. "No......that's the problem.....nothing happened."

"Oh.." Dawn said, knowing exactly what Ravyn was talking about. "So....what I suggested didn't work then?"

"No...What am I going to do? I can't keep doing that to him Dawn." Ravyn said, almost in tears.

Dawn sighed lightly as she thought. "I wish I knew what to tell you."

"I know, I just.......I can't stand the look on his face after. He just looks so hurt, it kills me." Ravyn told her sadly as a few tears fell from her eyes.

"Well....have you tried...umm to.... Not to sound crude or anything...but, maybe help him ...release and not worry about you. God I can't believe I just said that!" Dawn said giggling softly. "Talking about sex and Spike in the same sentence is just....."

Ravyn giggled along with Dawn. "Don't worry, he's inside. Don't think you'll have to worry about him hearing you."

"Good. Spike's been like a big brother to me and talking about him getting.....well, you know, it's just.....ewww."

Ravyn laughed at her. "Yeah, guess it would be."

"Hey!....I know." Dawn said enthusiastically. "Lorne....he knows all kinds of people. If he can't help you, I'm sure he knows someone who can."

"I thought about him actually." Ravyn told her.

"Yeah, well if you sing for him he can tell you things you never thought of...also he can see your path in life, whatever that means."

"So, you think he would help me?"

"Sure he would. All you have to do is sing." Dawn told her.

"Ughhh.....why sing?"

"Don't know......he say's he can read a person through their voice and the song they choose."

"But I can't sing. Well, I mean I can but I'd give Angel a run for his money." Ravyn said laughing lightly.

"Come on girl....NO ONE sings that bad." Dawn said laughing hard.

Ravyn chuckled. "Ok...maybe not that bad....but still bad."

"That's what I thought."

"Well, I think I'll try your suggestion first and give Lorne a call if that don't work." Ravyn told her. "I'll talk to you later then."

"Alright, let me know if...well....nevermind, don't want to know." Dawn said laughing again.

Ravyn laughed and shook her head. "Okay....no sex and Spike in the same sentences...got it. I'll talk to you later Dawn."

"Okay...bye." Dawn said as she hung up the phone.

Ravyn hung up the receiver and wondered if what Dawn suggested would work. Only problem was....that would be worse if it didn't than anything else she had tried.

Standing, Ravyn walked back into the house and hung the phone back up. Spike was laying on the couch, thumbing through a book as Ravyn sat in one of the chairs. She just sat there staring at him, wondering if she could actually go through with Dawn's suggestion. She had yet to touch him and wasn't sure she even could.

She leaned her head to the side and studied him as he lay there. He looked different from what she remembered. Well, the hair was obviously different, but his face was different as well. He looked softer, not as worn. She figured it was the difference between getting what he always wanted and not always feeling like he wasn't good enough. She always knew who and what he was....his Slayer never saw it, not when it counted. He looked....satisfied now, like he knew where he finally belonged.

She smiled a little as she let her eyes roam over his body. He was still hard and muscular, all in the right places. Still the same pale skin, beautiful and perfect. She remembered his touch and how he made her feel alive, just one touch and she was lost. Eyes so blue you felt like you were melting. Like he could see into your very being....he was hypnotic....

"See anything you like?" Spike said with a big grin as he watched Ravyn.

Ravyn looked up at his face and grinned. "Plenty"

"Well if you want me that bad...I'm not stopping you."

"This is a private gawk Thank You. Now go back and read your book." she told him smiling, as she looked at him.

Spike just stared at her smiling. "Come here." he told her as he closed his book and placed it on the table.

Ravyn stood and walked over to the couch, placing a leg in-between his and sliding half on top of him. Spike wrapped his arms around her as she laid down and kissed her head.

"I love you....you know that right?" Ravyn asked him softly.

"Yeah...I know you do."

Ravyn smiled as she played with his hair above his ear. They both lay silently, just enjoying the closeness of the other, both with the same thing on their minds. How Ravyn was going to overcome her fear.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ravyn jumped, startled from her sleep as a loud knock on the door woke her. She opened her eyes and lifted her head as whoever was there knocked again.

"Spike...someone's at the door." she said, trying to wake him.

Ravyn lifted herself up off of him, shaking him once she stood. "Spike....."

"Hummmm." Spike said sleepily, his eyes still closed.

"Someone's at the door." Ravyn said, unsure if she should answer it.

Spike's eyes flew open as what she said finally registered to him. He sat up quickly and stood. "Go to the bedroom." he said quickly as he grabbed a sword from it's mount on the wall. Waiting until she was out of site, he walked closer to the door.

Peeking out the window, he shook his head. "Bloody Hell" he said softly as he unlocked the door and opened it.

"Do you know what time it is?" Spike asked as Angel, Rob and Blake walked in.

"Yes.....it's three am." Rob said. "I know you weren't sleeping already."

"Now see...that's where you're wrong." Spike told him as he rubbed a hand over his face and walked down the hall to his room.

"It's alright...you can come out." Spike told Ravyn as he stuck his head into the bedroom.

Ravyn walked back into the living room with Spike and smiled as she saw the guy's. "Hey...what brings you three by?"

Rob smiled at her as did the other two. "Well...we've decided to head down to Brazil, and need you to tell us everything you remember."

"Oh" Ravyn said as she looked at him. "I don't know if I remember anything that's going to help."

"Anything you can tell us will be more than we know now." Rob told her.

"Okay" Ravyn said as she sat down on the sofa beside him and began to tell him what she knew.

Spike grabbed his smokes and walked outside, Angel following him as he did. Leaning against the rail, he lit up as Angel pulled the door shut behind him.

"So....you're going down there then?" Spike asked him.

"Look's like." Angel told him as he sat in one of the deck chairs.

Spike took a long draw from his cigarette. "What if you can't find it once you get there?"

"Well, we'll look until we do. We can't let Trull get his hands on that Blood Stone."

Spike stared at Ravyn through the opening in the curtains as she talked to Rob and Blake. "If you find Trull....."

"He'll die horribly." Angel told him softly.

Spike looked over at Angel, knowing by the look in his eyes that he'd do as he said. He wanted nothing more than to do it himself, but couldn't leave Ravyn alone just to go find Trull.

"He'll get what he deserves." Angel said. "Believe me"

"Yeah...well make sure the bastard dies painfully." Spike told him. "Even that'll be to good for him."

Silence fell between them as they both contemplated the ways to bring about Trull's death with as much pain as possible. Nothing either one of them could fathom even came close to what Ravyn had suffered by his hands.

Rob opened the door and smiled as he walked out with Blake following behind him. "Thank you Ravyn, I'm sure I'll be able to figure this out." he told her as they stepped out onto the deck.

"Your Welcome, I wish I could have remembered more."

"Well, call if anything else comes to mind."

"I will." Ravyn told him.

Angel stood as Rob and Blake said their good-byes and headed for the car. "Goodnight Ravyn." Angel said smiling at her before looking over at Spike and giving him a nod.

Ravyn walked over to Spike and leaned up against him as they watched the SUV pull away. "I can't believe their going down there." she said as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Somebody has to, now that Trull has all five points of the Star."

"Are you?" she asked him worriedly, looking up at him.

"No....not leavin you here alone." he told her, kissing her forehead.

Ravyn sighed, relieved he wasn't going off hunting Trull. "Good" she said as she laid her head against his shoulder.

Spike wrapped his arms around her, playing with her hair as he held her. "You bout ready for bed?" he asked, still tired from his interrupted sleep earlier.

"Yeah" Ravyn said as she stood up straight and started for the door, Spike following behind her.

Spike locked up as Ravyn went to the bedroom. She hurried and changed, crawling into bed as Spike made his way into the room, stripping down to his boxer's and crawling in with her.

"Night luv" Spike said as he hugged her close.

"Night Spike" Ravyn said, giving him a small kiss.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike woke the next evening to the feel of Ravyn's lips on his neck. She was running her hand softly over his chest and moving lower.

"What are you doing?" he asked her, a slow smile playing on his lips.

"What's it feel like."

"Feels like you're licking my neck." he said as she licked a trail to his ear.

"Well" Ravyn said as she sucked on his ear. "You'd be right." she added as her hand lowered to the waistband of his shorts.

Spike groaned softly as her hand found it's way inside his shorts, grabbing his growing shaft. He bucked his hips up slowly as she began to massage him.

Spike reached out a hand and grabbed her head, pulling it to him. He attacked her mouth with his own as she continued to stroke him.

He forced his tongue in her mouth as she quickened her pace on his shaft, massaging her tongue in the same fevered manner. He moaned into her mouth, as he turned slightly, sitting up on his elbow and pulling her to him. Spike sucked and licked at her lips, biting them slightly as she was quickly stroking him into a breathless state. He was panting for air as he flipped her over onto her back, kissing a trail down her neck.

He lowered his hand to the hem of her gown, pulling it up over her breast and lowering his head and taking her nipple into his mouth. He sucked at her, licking and nibbling as she continued to work his shaft.

Reaching down, he pulled her hand free from him as he slid his shorts off, before removing her panties. He positioned himself between her legs, rubbing himself against her as he once again found her mouth. Spike kissed her hard and hungrily as he pressed his body against hers.

Spike's mind was realing, not believing she had let it go this far...especially since it was 'her' who initiated it this time. She had never touched him before and took that as a sign she had finially overcome her fear

He moved his hand around, positing it under her, lifting her hips up slightly, massaging her flesh as he kissed down her neck, biting softly as he did. Pulling his hips back, he positioned himself at her opening and looked up at her. Her head was turned to the side, her eyes open and as he was about to enter her......he saw.

He stilled himself and brought his hand up slowly, turning her head slightly. His body went stiff when he realized what she was doing. Closing his eyes tightly and gritting his teeth, he lowered his head and rested it on her shoulder a minute, trying to control his anger without much luck.

Looking back up at her, he grabbed her face, shaking her head slightly. "Ravyn!" he said loudly, trying to wake her. "Ravyn...wake up!"

Spike rolled off of her, laying on his backand stared up at the ceiling. He ran both hands up over his face and back through his hair before turning to her. He sat up and turned her head. "Ravyn!" he yelled, smacking her cheek softly trying to 'wake her'.

Ravyn blinked her eyes a few times and focused on him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked her angrily.

Ravyn looked up at him and realized he was beside her and not where he was. "Why'd you stop?" she asked him quietly.

"Why'd I stop?!" Spike asked her yelling. "I can't believe you!" he said as he looked down at her. "Were you just going to lay there and let me rape you will you were off to who knows where in your head?"

Spike grabbed his shorts and stood, pulling them on, cursing under his breath. Ravyn sat up, pulling her gown back down as she did.

"I just thought....."

"Just thought what? That I wouldn't care if you weren't here?" Spike yelled as he started pacing the room. "I can't believe this." he said, more to himself than to her.

Ravyn watched him for a minute, lowering her head as she felt the tears sting her eyes. "I just wanted to give you what you wanted." she told him quietly.

Spike laughed bitterly at her. "If all I wanted was a meaningless shag I could get that anywhere with any bint willing to spread her legs for me!"

"I'm sorry" Ravyn whispered, softly crying.

"Don't.....don't start with the tears on my account." Spike told her. "Fuck!....I can't believe this." he muttered to himself. "I'm not just some nameless guy waiting for his turn Ravyn! If I can't have you, here and awake, then I don't want you at all!"

Ravyn watched as Spike stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. She could still hear him yelling as he stomped through the house. Taking a deep breath, she wiped at her tear streaked face and looked around the room, grabbing her underwear when she saw them. She stood on shaky legs and put her panties back on and jumped when she heard a door slam.

Ravyn ran through everything in her mind as she sat back down on the bed. She only did what she knew would work, she didn't realize he'd be so angry about it. "god you're so stupid" she said quietly to herself, pulling at her hair as more tears came. What was she going to do know?

Ravyn sat and cried softly for a few minutes before standing and gathering her things, shoving them back into her bags. Picking them up, she opened the bedroom door and walked down the hall into the spare room. As she walked inside, she dropped her bags and shut the door, locking it as she laid her head against it still crying softly.

She turned and slowly walked to the bed, sitting on the side of it and looked over at the door, knowing that Spike would probably never speak to her again after that. She laid down, burring her face in a pillow and let the tears fall, the pillow drowning out the sound as she cried for the pain she had caused him again.

~*~*~*~

Spike paced the deck, smoking cigarette after cigarette, talking to himself as he did. He couldn't believe she had done that. "Why?" He kept asking himself as he tried to figure out where her head was. Why was she just going to lay there and let him take her like 'they' did? Did she not think anymore of him than that? Did she not think anymore of herself?

Tossing his third smoke away, Spike marched back into the house intent on finding the answers. As he walked down the hall he saw the bedroom door open. He walked into his room and looked around. Her bags were gone.

Sighing heavily he turned and walked back down the hall to the spare room. Stopping in front of the door he could hear her muffled cries. Clenching his jaw tightly, he walked back to his room, slamming the door shut behind him.

_________________________________

Chapter Fourteen: What Have I Done?

Spike tossed and turned as he laid in his bed. He had been there for hours thinking of everything that had happened earlier that night. He still hadn't heard Ravyn leave the spare room and he was beginning to wonder if she were still there.

Standing, he walked quietly down the hall and stopped at her door. Putting his head to the door he listened and was relieved when he heard the bed springs move.

Ravyn walked slowly to the door when she stood up. She knew Spike was on the other side, she could feel him there. Leaning her head on the door she waited, hoping he would knock or say something. When he didn't, but turned and left instead, she sighed lightly before returning to the bed.

She had sat in there all night wondering what she should do. She knew well enough to leave him be when he was upset, so she remained, locked up in there until he was ready to talk to her again....if he ever did.

Spike and Ravyn both sat quietly in their rooms, each wondering if the other would come out. As the sun slowly rose, they both settled in to a restless night of sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"So you guy's are really going down there?" Dawn asked Angel as he woke the following evening.

"Yeah, as soon as Rob can decipher the information Ravyn gave him. It was kind of sketchy" he told her.

"You think you'll be able to find the temple?"

"Yeah, she was pretty certain on that...the way through the temple will be the hard part."

Dawn sat down and looked around for a minute before looking back over at him. "Did they...I mean, Spike and Ravyn...did they seem..okay when you were there the other night?" Dawn asked him.

"Yeah...seemed fine. Why?"

"Oh" Dawn said a little wide eyed. "No reason. Just wondering how the love birds were." she told him, smiling nervously. No one knew of their 'little problem' and she hoped it stayed that way.

Angel gave Dawn a peculiar look before standing. "Well...think I'll go. I have some work to do."

"Yeah, I 'm sure I do to." Dawn said as he left the room.

Dawn waited for Angel to leave before she picked up the phone, dialing Spike's number when she did. On the tenth ring, he finally answered.

"Ello" he said flatly.

"Spike...hey it's Dawn." she said smiling.

"Hey Dawn."

"Hey...is Ravyn around?" she asked, trying to sound casual about the nature of her call.

Spike looked up at the ceiling of his room and sighed. "Yeah...hang on, I'll go get her."

Spike stood, laying the phone down as he did and walked to the spare room. He knocked several times before taking a deep breath and opening the door.

"Ravyn?" he said as he peeked inside. He walked in, noticing she wasn't there and immediately thought the worst. Looking around he spotted her bags and sighed in relief.

He turned, walking into the living room and looked around before opening the door. That's when he saw her, sitting down on the beach staring out on the ocean. He knew why she was there and stood there and watched her for a few minutes before heading back to his room.

"She's out on the beach nibblet. Want me to have her call you when she gets back in?" he asked, not really ready to talk to Ravyn just yet.

"Yeah....sure. It wasn't that important anyway.....just girl talk." Dawn told him smiling. "I'll talk to you later Spike."

"Sure thing bit." Spike said as he hung up. Walking to the bathroom, he started the shower, hoping the hot water would clear his mind and help him forget about what Ravyn had done.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ravyn was sitting on the beach, her chin resting on her knees staring out at the ocean, watching the waves break against the shore. She had been out there ever since the sun had set, intent on not spending another night cooped up in that lifeless room again.

She had thought long and hard about the 'fight', if you wanted to call it that. She understood why Spike was upset, but she hadn't meant to hurt him. She knew she could go through with it if she just blocked everything out, so that's what she did.

He had waited patiently for over two months for her to get a 'grip' on the whole sex thing and when it wasn't happening...she did the only thing she knew how, to give him what she knew he wanted....what he needed. She just never expected it to turn out so bad.

Standing, Ravyn wrapped her arms around herself and walked down the beach, trying to clear her head. No matter how hard she tried, things never went the way they were suppose to where she and Spike were concerned. Something always messed it up. Her. She was what always messed it up.

She loved him and tried to hard to please him, only she never got that part quiet right. She was always to pushy or made bad decisions and wondered if he wouldn't be better off with her out of his life for good.

As the beach house slowly left her view, Ravyn slowed her steps and thought. *What have I done?* she asked herself. She knew she had a hard decision to make.....whether to stay with the only man she had ever loved.......or move on.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Randall sat in the corner of Caritas and watched the door hopeing that Ravyn and her 'new friends' would show. The Master's 'new pet' was seated next to him, out of site. He was only there for one reason....to find out where Ravyn was staying. He had been there every night that week, hopeing they would come. It was now Friday....hopefully, they would show soon.

He was beginning to believe he was wasting another night of precious time when he saw them. He smiled big as he saw Dawn, the small girl who had fought along with Ravyn. She was feisty and he liked her. He only wished his idiot companions would have been able to capture her.

As the group filled in, he craned his neck up, looking at them only to be disappointed when he didn't see Ravyn or her vampire. He watched them for hours, until they eventually left. He figured Friday was their night to party as he remembered it was Friday the last time he had seen Ravyn there. Standing, he grabbed the 'pet' and started for the door, intent on returning the following week.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike had sat on the deck all evening, watching Ravyn. She had sat on the beach all night and it was almost sunrise. She hadn't ate...that much he knew. He felt bad knowing she was stressing, but it left quickly as he remembered what she had done.

He still couldn't figure out where head wad was. Yes he had wanted her....but not like that. Not some lifeless body who didn't even know he was there.

He felt almost...betrayed...by what she had done. In his mind, she had put him in the same category as those bastards who raped her repeatedly. He would have been no better than them if he would have taken her that way...even if she was willing to let it happen.

As he felt the first twinges of the coming sun, he saw Ravyn stand. He quickly stood himself and walked back inside, not ready to face her yet....not until he could get a grasp on what she had done and why. He couldn't talk to her again until the anger was gone. aminaming and yelling at her wasn't the way to handle this.

Making his way to his room, he shut the door behind him and waited...making sure she made it back inside. Once he heard the front door close he waited until the door to the spare room shut before he walked over to his bed, laying across it fully clothed. Closing his eyes, he sighed heavily, knowing for the second night in a row, he wouldn't be resting peacefully.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike stood on the deck watching Ravyn sit on the beach. It had been six days now and they had yet to speak to one another, hell he hadn't even seen her other than the way he saw her now. He missed her. He missed talking to her and hearing her laugh and the way she looked at him like there wasn't another person on the planet but him. Living in the same house together and the only thing he ever saw was her back as she stared out on the ocean. How did things go so wrong?

Getting angry with himself for letting the silence between them last so long, he finished off his fourth beer before turning and walking to his bike. The best way he knew to cover the pain was to get right good and pissed.

Starting his bike, he speed out of the driveway, intent on doing just that.

Ravyn turned when she heard the motorcycle and barely caught a glimpse of the taillights when Spike pulled out onto the road, wheels screeching across the pavement as he did. She wanted nothing more than to tell him how sorry she was and for things to go back to the way they were, but knew when he was ready to talk to her again he would come to her.....but he never did, which only left her to assume one thing. She had betrayed him and he didn't want her anymore.

Wiping the tears away from her face, Ravyn walked back to the house, locking the door behind her as she walked inside. Making her way over to the phone, she dialed the number Dawn had given her and hoped Lorne would be able to tell her what she needed to do.

As he picked up the phone, Lorne knew immediately who it was.

"Hey sweetie, I was wondering when you were going to call me." he said in his usual happy tone of voice.

"Hey Lorne." Ravyn said, on the brink of tears again.

"Need a friend?" he asked her.

That's all it took. Ravyn broke down crying. She was so lonely. She missed Spike and hadn't felt so isolated since she had been at Trull's.

"No need to answer sweetie. Are you at Spike's?" Lorne asked her.

"Yes" she managed to say through her tears.

"Okay doll. Hang on, I'll be there as soon as I can."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike walked into the nightclub, music blaring out of every corner. He watched as throngs of people danced and laughed as he made his way to the bar. Sitting himself down, he ordered a drink and turned in his seat, watching as happy couples everywhere enjoyed themselves.

"Here you go buddy." the bartender said as he handed Spike his drink.

"Thanks mate." Spike said quietly as he picked up the glass, swallowing it's contents quickly and motioning for another.

By his fifth one, he had already forgotten why he was even there. Standing on wobbly legs, he carried his drink to a small table in the corner, smiling as he passed two women as they gave him the 'once over'. *Still got it* he said with a smile as he sat.

Spike was mesmerized as the flashing multicolored lights played across the dance floor. His inebriated brain was losing focus on the painful world around him as a woman slowly approached his table. He watched her as she sat down beside him, smiling as she slid her chair close to him.

"Hey....names Rachel" she said as she leaned over close to him.

Spike looked at her. She wasn't bad looking. Short red hair, green eyes. He thought of Willow when he saw her. *Not that Willow ever looked that good in a dress though* he thought as he looked at her. Her small black dress was barely even on. He wondered if she was wearing it or was it wearing her.

"Names Spike." he told her as he leaned his head to the side and looked at her.

"Well Spike, here alone?"

"Seem's so." he told her taking another sip of his drink.

Rachel smiled over at him and laid her arm on the back of his chair. "You don't look to happy." she told him as she slowly raised her hand, playing with the hair at the back of his neck.

Spike looked at her, knowing exactly what she was after.

"Can't say that I am." he said as she leaned closer to him and he couldn't help but look down as the front of her dress gaped open slightly.

Rachel smiled when she saw his eyes roam. "So, want to tell me about it?"

"Not really." Spike told her, never taking his eyes off her bulging breast as they were laying there staring up at him.

"Well....how about I make it all better for you?" she said, leaning in closer, running her tongue along the contours of his ears.

Spike closed his eyes as she slowly licked at his ear. He knew she was trying to seduce him. It had been awhile since that had happened. He was usually the one playing this part. As her tongue entered his ear, he pulled his head away as he was slowly becoming more aroused by the second.

"Not tonight pet.....have other things on my mind." he told her, remembering why he was there.

"Oh...don't be like that." she told him. "Rachel knows what you need." she said as she lowered her hand down Spike's chest, resting it on the small bulge in his pants. "I can make you forget all about her."

Spike looked over at her as she squeezed at his groin. She was smiling at him and ready to do whatever he wanted.

"What do you say?" Rachel asked as she leaned her head closer to Spike's. Licking his lips slightly she smiled when she felt his cock twitch in her hand. "Let me show you what a real woman can do." she said as she kissed him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey Lorne" Ravyn said as she opened the door for him.

"Hey there sweetheart." Lorne said, giving her a small kiss on the cheek.

Ravyn shut the door, locking it back before turning and following Lorne to the sofa. She smiled weakly at him as she sat beside him.

"So...what's with the sad face?" he asked as he took in her sullen appearance.

Ravyn looked up at him, not sure if she could tell him everything. He could see the apprehension in her face and smiled.

"Don't worry about it. I already know most of the problem." he said smiling.

Ravyn's eye's went wide. Did Dawn tell him?

"Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me."

"Did Dawn....did she...."

"No. Dawn hasn't told me anything. I can read peoples voices. Usually only if they sing, but yours...now yours just screams at me." he told her as he took her hand. "I don't know the whole story, but I can see the pain radiating off you in waves."

Ravyn shook her head and smiled slightly. "Spike and I had a fight." she told him, not knowing where else to start. "It was....." Ravyn sighed heavily as she looked down. "It's just that I've had this problem."

Lorne gripped her hand tighter and smiled. "Tell ya what, you sing me a couple lines of any song your heart desires and you won't have to go through the painful part of telling what's wrong. I can just pick up with the helping part." he said smiling at her.

Ravyn smiled up at him. "Okay...but be warned. If Angel's voice makes your ears bleed....mine will probably make your head explode."

"NO ONE can be that bad doll." Lorne said chuckling.

Ravyn chuckled slightly with him, glad to have something worth smiling about.

"So, come on...just a couple of lines." Lorne told her.

"Any song?"

"Any song you want. Doesn't have to be special, hell it can even be something you made up." he told her.

Ravyn thought a minute and smiled. "Well, I always liked The Beatles" she told him smiling.

"Well, The Beatles it is." Lorne said. "Just pick one and let it flow."

Ravyn smiled nervously and took a deep breath. Only a few of her favorite songs came to mind and she picked the one that best suited her mood. "Here goes" she said smiling nervously up at him.

'The long and winding road that leads to your door,'
'Will never disappear,'
'I've seen that road before it always leads me here,'
'Leads me to your door'

Lorne smiled as he watched her. She stopped with the first verse and looked down.

"That was beautiful." Lorne told her. "I'm not sure who told you you couldn't sing but they were a complete liar." he said smiling at her.

Ravyn grinned at him as he smiled at her. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet sweetie. I haven't even told you anything you didn't already know."

"Just you being here helped. Knowing someone cares." she told him quietly as another tear fell.

"Don't you worry." he said as he pulled her into a tight hug. "We're going to fix this before the night is out."

Ravyn let him hold her as she started to cry again. She missed Spike and wanted him back, and would do anything to fix what she had done.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rachel smiled as another round of drinks was placed on the table. She lifted hers as she looked over at Spike. He was watching the dance floor and she knew if she got him drunk enough, he'd be all hers.

"Here you go sweetie" she said as she slid another drink infront of Spike.

He lifted the glass and downed it quickly. He was getting lost in the moving people in front of him and preferred that to images of Ravyn at the moment. Everytime he thought of her, he was reminded of the past few days. He was there to forget about their problems. No more missing her. No more hating what she had done. No more wanting her. No more lonely nights without her.

Looking back over at Rachel he watched her as she stared at him, smiling.

"You about ready for me to make it all better now?" she asked finishing off her drink. "If so...then follow me."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ravyn stood up from the couch and smiled as she led Lorne to the door.

"Thank You so much Lorne." she told him as they reached the door.

"No reason for thanks sweetie. I didn't tell you anything you didn't already know. You just weren't looking in the right place." he told her smiling. "Now you let me know if there's anything else I can do for you, you here?"

"Yeah, I will. I'm sure everythings going to be just fine now." she said as they walked out onto the deck.

"You want me to stay with you until Spike get's back?"

"No, it's getting late. He's probably on his way home now. I'll be just fine." she told him, finially happy knowing 'what' she needed to do.

"Well, okay then. You have that vampire of your's to bring you by Friday. I'm ready to cut loose and Dance the Night Away." he said, singing the last part.

Ravyn giggled at him as he walked over to the steps.

"I will. Bye"

"Bye doll. Lock up until Spike get's back." Lorne said as he walked to his car.

Ravyn waved at him as she watched him drive away before walking back into the house. Going into the bedroom, she picked out her night clothes and headed for the shower. She smiled to herself as she realized things were going to be just fine....well when Spike got home that is.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike groaned sy asy as the throbbing in his head increased. It felt like someone had taken a sledge hammer to him and left him for dead...well, deader.

"Ravyn?" he asked, his words slurred slightly while trying to get his tongue to work.

"No sweetie. That would be Rachel."

Spike's eye's flew open when he heard her. He looked around the room, a dark ugly motel room to be exact. He slammed his eyes back shut, hopeing when he opened them again, he'd be home, in his big silk covered bed.

"You know, if I knew you'd be so drunk you wouldn't even remember me the next day I wouldn't have bothered." Rachel said from her position beside Spike on the bed.

Spike felt like he needed to throw up. He slowly began playing the events of the previous night over in his head and mentally slapped himself when he remembered...well, what he could remember.

Lifting his head, he turned and saw her, laying on the pillow next to him. She wasn't nearly as good-looking as he remembered. *Mental note...don't get drunk and look at women, completely impairs your judgment* he thought as he looked at her.

"Uh...hey" Spike said as he looked at her.

"Hey" Rachel said as she watched him. "How's the head?"

Spike closed his eyes as she sat up, the sheet falling off her as she did. She was nude. "What have I done?" he asked himself quietly as he laid his head back down.

Spike tried to remember everything. He was lost after the first kiss in the bar. Had he had that much to drink? He looked back over at her and winced when he saw her. *Definitely had to much to drink* he thought after shutting his eyes again when he looked at her.

"You know, I don't usually take men home from clubs like that." Rachel said to him. "But you just looked so cute and completely lost." she told him as she stood.

Spike left his eyes closed. Looking at her made him know exactly what had happened. How could he do that? How could he do that to Ravyn?

'Ravyn.' Spike sighed as he thought of her. She would never forgive him for this. She barely did for him kissing Buffy, sleeping with someone....now that was the ultimate betrayal. Makes what she did almost laughable.

Spike's eyes flew open when he realized he had left her. Alone! He raised up quickly, regretting it as soon as he did. He sat there on his hands and knees a few minutes waiting for his head to stop pounding. When he was able to focus he turned stepping off the bed.

He looked down at himself and looked over at Rachel.

"Yeah, I know....hard to believe isn't it?" she told him.

"Uh...did, I mean what..."

"What happened?" Rachel asked. "Well, what happened was....I brought you here to have you fall flat on your drunk ass...that's what happened." she said, not looking to pleased.

Spike looked back down at his totally clothed body....and smiled. He closed his eyes and sighed in relief. He had been to wasted to do anything.

"Don't look to pleased." Rachel said rolling her eyes at him. "You 'should' feel bad. I was the one who lost sleep having to hear you moan 'Ravyn' and how much you 'love her' all night." she said sarcastically as she dressed. "Who the hell is she anyway?"

Spike smiled as he slipped his boots on. "The most amazing woman in the world" he said with a smile as he stood back up.

Walking over to the door, he looked back over at what would have been his biggest mistake 'ever'. "Sorry to pass out and run pet, but I have some groveling to do." he said as he opened the door and walked out into the night.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike drove home as fast as he could. He had already wasted half the night, having to hitch a ride back to the night club and get his bike. As he pulled into the driveway, he took a deep breath, hoping he hadn't messed things up completly by staying out all night.

Parking his bike, he killed the engine and walked up on the deck. He looked out to the beach and didn't see her. Opening the door, he quietly let himself in.

Ravyn wasn't in the living room, so Spike walked down the hall. Her door was shut. He was about to knock when he remembered. She had smelled Buffy on him last time. He wasn't about to make that mistake again.

Turning, he walked down the hall to his room, shutting the door quietly. After stripping off his clothes, which he knew were covered in Rachel's scent, he turned on the shower and stepped in.

Washing quickly he finished his shower and dried off, slipping on a pair of sweat pants. He walked out of his room, back down the hall and stopped at Ravyn's door.

He listened and heard nothing. He felt bad knowing she had probably been there all night. He should have never left like that. What did she think when he had?

Knocking softly, he waited. He was going to make this right. It didn't matter what she had done because he finally realized she had only done it for him. To please him.

Spike knocked a few more times, growing more impatient as the minutes passed.

"Ravyn...can I come in?" he asked her through the door.

After he still didn't get a response, Spike slowly turned the door handle and opened the door. He walked inside and saw that she wasn't there. Her bed hadn't been slept in either. He looked around before going back out to the living room.

Spike checked every room in the house before going to the door and looking out. He didn't see her sitting on the beach so he walked out to the end of the path. She was nowhere to be found.

Panic set in as he turned and ran back to the house. He stormed back in, running to the kitchen to see if there was a note or something saying she had went somewhere.

"Ravyn!" Spike yelled as he once again checked all the rooms. He checked the spare room she had been staying in again, noticing her bags were still there.

"Ravyn!" he yelled again as he walked through the house. Making his way back outside, he checked the rose garden. He walked around the entire house. She wasn't there.

Spike ran back down the path to the beach, yelling for her as he did. Stopping close to the water's edge, he looked down the beach in both directions, running a little each way to see if maybe she were further down than he could see.

Grabbing his head with both hands, Spike closed his eyes and tried to think. The first thing that came to his mind was......Trull.

Opening his eyes back up he looked towards the house as the first images of Trull coming and taking her away came to him.

His breathing came hard and fast, his fear escalated out of control. He 'promised' her he wouldn't let Trull take her again. *What have I done?*

"RAVYN!!"