The Adventures of William the Bloody

William stood wobbling slightly as he surveyed his surroundings. Seeing the author still poised before the desk, he groaned. “Oh no. Not you again.”

“Hi, Willy! Welcome back. Have a nice time?” Queen queried with a sarcastic grin. Oh yeah, there was something to be said for smirking, after all.

“You know very well--oh goodness gracious. You do know, don’t you? You orchestrated the whole thing!” William blushed, an expression Queen noted with interest.

“Oh yeah, you betcha. You have no idea how many cold showers I’ve taken. Whew!” The author made a gesture of fanning to show how hot things had gotten.

William scowled. “Well, I’m glad you’re satisfied--”

“Very,” the author replied with a Cheshire Cat grin.

“But I really must get back. The others--they’ll be wondering about my whereabouts.” William paused and eyed the thick sheaf of papers on Queen’s desk. “Good Lord. Is all that--about me?”

“You, Giles, Xander, Angelus.” The author sighed and flipped the sheets happily. “Which brings us to the topic of why you’re here.”

“Yes. Please, you must send me back.”

“Ooh, in a hurry, are we? Relax; trust me, you’ve got plenty of time.”

“But they’ll be wondering what’s happened.” He hesitated. “Unless you can control that, too?”

“Well, duh! I’m the author. To all extents and purposes, I’m the most powerful being in your world, the world that I’ve created for you. Time passes in it as I wish.” Queen made a grand sweeping gesture to indicate omnipotence. “How long were you there? Since I banished you from this space, I mean.”

He thought back. “Three nights and two days.”

“It’s been 44 days here,” the author replied calmly.

“Forty-four days?” William looked around. The apartment appeared much as he’d left it although he hadn’t really taken the opportunity to note details. Then he saw the desk calendar. It had read August 25th before. It was now October. “My word.”

“Yeah, quality fic takes time to write. So you see, you’ve got all the time in the world. I can insert you right back at the time and place you left. However…” The author trailed off with a thoughtful expression.

William quickly seized on the lapse. “However what? Is there some difficulty?”

“No, no difficulty. I just wanted to know whom you wanted to end up with.” The writer bent a calm gaze on the flabbergasted specter.

“Whom I wanted? You mean I get to chose?”

“That’s right.”

William was astounded. He could choose his future mate. Then he re-focused on his dark-eyed observer. “Why would you do this? I thought you hated me.”

“I don’t hate you. I never said I hated you. I hated what you did. I hated the fact that the perfectly good relationships Buffy had were twisted to make you in a pseudo-saint. I despised the message that women should swoon over a jerk just because he gets himself a shiny soul and that said soul washes all his sins automatically clean. That’s what I hated.” A storm gathered in Queen’s eyes and William inwardly quailed. The author paused to regain some equanimity.

“So, yes. I’m letting you get the choice. Is it to be the Watcher, the souled vampire or the Scooby? Hey, if you want, I can have Angel screw Buffy again and we can bring Angelus back into the mix. How about it?” The author leered good-naturedly as William flushed again.

“No, thank you. Too many people die when Angelus is around. He might take it into his head to kill Alexander or one of his friends. I-I couldn’t bear that.”

“You really are fond of Xander, aren’t you? So are a lot of people.” Queen sighed and looked at the pile of papers. “So it’s to be Xander then?”

“I didn’t say that,” William retorted.

“Well, which one do you want?”

William turned away from Queen as he pondered the question. Truly, all his bedmates had something to offer. Giles was intelligent, far more so than any of those gabbling children he played shepherd to, and he had been surprisingly skilled in bed. He had age and experience on his side and he’d kept abreast of the modern world. Privately William believed he knew things that would surprise even Angelus. But he knew nothing of what had passed between himself and the temporary boarder he’d taken into his house. Would the Watcher really push aside the memory of his beloved Jenny for a mere stripling?

Angelus was gone. But he’d seen tenderness in Angel’s eye before the shame had set in. Would his former Sire be too adverse to renewing relations with his wayward Childe, especially now that William was human? Would he agree to turn him so that he could be with Spike again? No, Spike and Angel had always been at loggerheads and William didn’t want to give up humanity if it meant a return of the old animosity between them. But he couldn’t stay with Angel and risk a touch of happiness jogging loose his soul; Angelus was simply too unpredictable and volatile.

Alexander was the only one with whom he could interact on a more or less equal level. But the boy was in Angel’s thrall now. Would he still want William? And was he willing to settle for mere sex with the brunette when he craved so much more?

But the author was capable of smoothing out all these problems. As stated earlier, Queen could literally wave a pen and re-order William’s universe at whim. A mild clearing of the throat brought William’s attention back to the watchful writer. “So, William. Who is it to be?”

The blonde man thought it through a moment longer. Then he smiled.

[A/N: Hey, people. With whom do you want William to end up? Do you want him Spike again? Should he be with Angel, Angelus, Xander, Giles? Some combination? Let me know! I’ll be looking over your comments and counting your votes.]

TBC