Complement

XXXIII - Heal Me
(Part H) centcenter>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Not a single, solitary word? A peep? Anything? A request for food, water?"

"What about the word NO don't you understand Mars?" Lilith answered heatedly.

"Are you sure they're all right?" Mars persisted worriedly, but that didn't stop him from secretly enjoying getting Lilith's goat.

"Considering that Atropos didn't have to cut either of their Life-Threads... I'm gonna go with YES!!!" The sarcasm dripped from every one of Lilith's words.

"Well, why can't Clotho check the Tapestry? You know just to make sure they're okay and see if they're still planning on coming tonight. After all, it's been three days since anyone has seen or heard from either of them." Mars demanded as he started pacing.

"I doubt after all that's happened, all the fallout from Buffy's plans that she, that they wouldn't show tonight. As for using the Tapestry to check on them, has it not occurred to you how much of an invasion of their privacy that would be, Mars?" Clotho said as she came through the backdoor to Mars' house and hearing the tail end of his conversation with Lilith. "...'sides we can't." Clotho mumbled as she walked further into the room, allowing the rest of the Immortals to make their way in.

"Oh please... don't even try that, You can't interfere or break the rules, bullshit. Yoe goe gone way past the point of that hypocrisy." Mars huffed; he wasn't worried the Slayers were hurt or anything along those lines. He just wanted to make sure that they, them together, as a couple were all right. Especially after what had been happening between them the past few weeks and the way they had left his training barn three days ago.

"That Mother-Hen look is really working for you, oh Fusspot Incarnate of War..." Luc snickered as he walked in behind Clotho. He managed to avoid the playful punch Mars threw at him, but not the swat to the back of his head his spouse gave him as she came into the house behind him. "Owww!"

"Serves you right, oh Wimpy Incarnate of Evil..." Mars smirked, bowing his head at Atropos who also had a smirk gracing her face. "Now..." he snarled, "...can one of you please go check the Tapestry?!!!?"

"No, we can't," began Atropos only to be cut off by Mars.

"WHY THE HELL NOT?!!?"

"If you would stop interrupting we could tell you! So BE QUIET AND LISTEN!!!" Lachesis shouted back, then smiled at the surprised expression on all the Immortals' faces. She very rarely lost her temper or raised her voice. Most of them could still count on two hands the times that she had over the eons.

She waited for everyone to settle down and find seats before she began. "It seems that while we can still see the Slayers' Life Threads within the Tapestry, we can no longer actually read them. Nor can we actually see outside influences or other Threads that touch upon them until after the event has occurred. I still weave their threads but have no memory of what it is that I have woven when the interaction is between just the two of them, actually none of us can. Their privacy is shrouded completely. We think this happened gradually over time and the last clear memory I have of weaving their threads is the day before de Rais attacked them. We all know of the bond that the Slayers share, their Soul-Thread, Lilith and Clotho, Luc and Atropos, Willow and Tara, as well as me and Spi..I oh yo..."

"You owe me five gold pieces." Mars held out his hand to Luc for payment, cutting off Lachesis stuttering.

"Nope doesn't count, we didn't catch them and that was the deal." Luc told him with a triumph smile.

"Does too!"

"Does not!"

"TOO! TOO! TOO!"

"OWWW!!!!" Both men yelled when Atropos swatted them both hard on the back of the head.

"Actually, you each owe me five gold pieces. As I recall I bet you both that Ma," Zane smirked at his use of Faith's nickname for Lachesis, "...would slip before either of you caught her and Spike together." He finished with a smug look.

Mars and Luc looked at each other and shrugged their lderlders, while Lachesis sat fuming at all three of them.

"He's right Candy-man."

"Yes, I believe he is Scamp."

"I... I... I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE A BET ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE!!!!" Lachesis screeched like a fishwife.

"Well, can you blame us? We've been waiting years for you to actually get one, MA!" Luc told Lachesis calmly, which earned him another swat on the back of the head from his wife.

"Hit him again, only this time harder!" Lachesis told her sister with narrowed, fire-spitting eyes.

Atropos arched an eyebrow and did as her sister asked then swatted Mars on principle alone. "Now be good both of you and let Lachesis finish. And no one is getting any gold pieces either." She directed her last remark at Zane.

"As I was saying, the Slayers share a Soul-Thread. Those of you that have found your soul-mate's know what that means, even those of you that haven't understand the basic principle of it. But there are other t of of bonds, like the bond I share with my sisters. It isn't to the extent that soul-mates share, but I can sense them, their moods, when they are in danger etc. It is a family bond, sort of like what mortal twins describe they share. Ask yourselves this, that night when de Rais attacked the Slayers, how did we know to go help them? In fact, it was you Mars, who faded there in tto sto save Faith's life. How did you know?"

"I felt it, felt a foreboding chill. I just knew that Faith, that they both were in trouble and I didn't question it." Mars answered softly.

"And Mars wasn't the only one, we all felt it, he just felt it sooner. His connection was deeper at that point then any of ours, because in his heart, in his soul, Faith is his daughter. The Slayers and their family have over time, become our family and in turn, have turned us, all the Immortals into a true family. Something if we're honest with ourselves, we never truly were. Not even my ers ers and I. Now we're all connected through this bond, a thread that links us to each other as family. We believe that bond was solidified became fully alive, if you will, the night Rais attacked. And since that night not only can we no longer see the Life-Threads of the Slayers, or remember what has been added or woven into their paths, we also can't see our own or any of the rest of our rather large family's Life-Threads. As far as we can tell it in no way hinders any of us from performing our duties. Our destinies, our fates, if you will pardon the pun, are forever linked with that of our family. In our effort to offer support, to help the Slayers we have become what the Creator has always wanted us to be, a true family. This connection, this bond we have with our family members runs more deeply than is technically normalLiving Scroll that this was the Creator's intent all along. What is written, or will be written in the Living Scroll and Dead Scroll that Rais spoke of, how they impacts all of us is something, however, that we have no theories about."

Every eye in the room turned to look at Crow and his father after Lachesis finished speaking. They in turn looked at each other and Crow inclined his head to his father, pleading with his eyes for him to answer.

"I'll be damned if I know." Chris answered with a perplexed look on his face, which changed to a slightly angry one when they all looked at him in disbelief. "HEY! They're my family too and I would tell you if I knew."

They all just stared at each other for a few minutes. Privately each of them thought to themselves whatever the fall-out, whatever the repercussions, or what might happen because of both scrolls, they wouldn't give up any of it, if it meant going back to the way they were before and losing their family. Together, as a family they could deal with whatever was thrown at them, both scrolls be damned!

"So Mars..." Lilith began with a small mocking jeer, "...after all that, you are no closer to knowing if they're actually gonna come..."
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"B... I... I can't... Oh fuck..." Faith rambled in a strangled voice. "I... B... I can't stop cu..." Her whole body arched off the bed yet again, lifting not only herself but Buffy up as well.

She struggled to keep her eyes open, locked with Buffy's, sharing with her everything she was feeling, baring her very soul. For the first time in her life she had truly given up every ounce of control, had turned over all her power to another. Not just to anyone, but to hightight Slayer. She had laid herself bare, vulnerable, at the mercy of her soul-mate. She had held nothing back, not her desires, her wants, her needs. For the first time in her life, she had given voice to a part of herself that she had never let surface. She had in essence gifted the very soul of herself to Buffy.

Buffy had accepted that gift with humility, gracefulness and awe. She had carefully and slowly taken Faith to a place she had never allowed hersel all allowed anyone else to take her to. Buffy had made love not to just her body but to her soul as well. For the first time ever she had placed, given her complete, total trust to someone else. On a conscious level she trusted not only Buffy, but her family as well and while she wanted to believe that she trusted them completely, she knew now, in truth, she didn't or rather hadn't. There had always been a part of herself that had stood off watching, a silent sentinel that was always completely aware of her surroundings, what was happening, alert, waiting, no matter what the situation or circumstances and most especially in the bedroom, a place, a time when she was her most vulnerable.

Something though had changed for her over the last few days. Maybe in part it was due to the unknowing epiphany she and Buffy had shared. Whatever it was, she knew one thing now. Today there had been no silent sentinel watching and waiting for what it had thought was inevitable. Today that silent sentinel had finally given up its lifetime vigil, and both it and she had placed complete trust in Buffy and Buffy had not broken or abused that trust once.

After a few centuries and too many climaxes tumbling over and on top of each other to count, she sank back into bed bed gratefully. She clung to Buffy tightly as her body trembled, quaked with aftershocks. She was both exhausted and filled with energy at the same time. She experienced again the feeling of being whole, complete, unbroken, only this time she knew these feelings, this sense of finally being one with all the parts of herself, both on a conscious and unconscious level would never go away. And for the first time in her life she felt like she was in total, absolute control of herself and her life. knewknew the scars, the fears were still there, but she also knew, felt, that today, that in the past three days, not only she, but Buffy as well, had truly set their feet down on the long, hard, maybe even painful road towards total healing.

Damn, if it wasn't a completely euphoric feeling!

She lifted her head when she felt the smile forming on Buffy's face, which rested against her stomach. She peered down the length of her body at Buffy who was sprawled on top of her; the smile gracing her face was beatific. Apparently, she wasn't the only one who was feeling a little euphoric. Whether Buffy had felt, understood, this new sense of self that Faith was feeling she didn't know. Faith, for the most part, wasn't aware of it in the here and now. This new sense of self, wholeness had, like the epiphany, had just become an innate part of her. She just knew that right now, right here, she felt better then she had her whole life.

"What?" she asked, but inherently she already knew what was causing Buffy's smile.

"I... I... I..." Buffy tried, at a loss for words, "I don't know, I just feel happy, serene, whole."

"I know what ya mean, B." Faith smiled at Buffy, before letting her head flop back down onto the pillow, what was left of it anyway.

Buffy squirmed up Faith's body and planted a soft kiss on her mouth. She could feel the sense of peace that Faith was feeling; it was ringing loud and clear in an echo. It was something she had never felt from Faith before or at least not this depth of peace and it was something she herself had rarely ever felt. She too though, was feeling that same sense of peace, of oneness with all of the parts that made up who she was. She didn't question it, she just innately knew that for both of them all the little fissures, the cracks, the splits of the different parts of themselves they had tried to compartmentalize, keep separate had finally become one. All of her, all of Faith, for once and for always were in harmony with each other.

A small snort of laughter snuck out of her when it seeped into her brain that Faith's hair was littered with pillow feathers, in fact, there were pillow feathers all over the bed. Another snort of laughter escaped her when Faith's eyebrow rose in question at her seemly out of nowhere laughter. She tried to stifle the belly laugh that was creeping its way out of her but was unable to suppress it; she burst out laughing, small tears leaking from the corners of her eyes.

"What?" Faith asked which only seemed to make Buffy laugh harder. "What's so damn funny B?"

Instead of answering, Buffy propped herself up on Faith's chest and deftly plucked a few feathers from Faith's hair. She waved them in front of Faith's face and started laughing harder as a look akin to horror crossed Faith's face. "You killed the pillow," Buffy managed between bouts of laughter.

"Not my fault, it's yours the pillow is dead." Faith told Buffy, trying to keep her own amusement under wraps.

"Mine?"

"Yes B, yours and those stupid dumb-ass rules."

"Those stupid dumb-ass rules are yours Fai, or did you forget?" Buffy reminded Faith and smirked at the stubborn look on her Dark mate's face. "And you could have broken them anytime you wanted to anyway." Buffy's smirk grew a little bigger at Faith's garbled reply. "What was that Fai? I couldn't quite understand you."

"I said... you didn't break 'em, so I couldn't either." Faith huffed, then mumbled under her breath, "'Sides if I had broken them you would've stopped and I sooooo didn't want you to stop."

"Believe me; I didn't want to stop either." Buffy paused and ran the tip of her tongue over her lips, "And I'm thinkin' the payoff for not breaking them was pretty damn good, if I do say so myself."

"Ego much B? Gonna have to buy you all new, bigger hats to fit that ego of yours in." Faith murmured, cursing silently when she felt the blush crawling up her neck and face. This blushing bullshit sucked.

"Well deserved if you ask me, considering that a certain Dark Slayer I happen to know told me she couldn't stop cuming, disproving the rumor that multiple orgasms was just a myth." Buffy teased, loving the blush that had written its way across Faith's face and neck. It was so at odds with the sensual, sultry woman that was her Dark Slayer and it was just so goddamn endearing.

"Oh really B? If I remember correctly, it was that same certain Dark Slayer who disproved or rather quite thoroughly showed," Faith wiggled her eyebrows at Buffy a large shit-eating grin on her face. "... a certain Light Slayer personally, quite thoroughly, more then once might I add, that multiples weren't a myth and thus had already disproved that rumor." Faith teased right back, her voice low and sultry. This time, it was she who smirked at the blush that crept its way across her Light Slayer's neck and face.

"True, true. I must give credit where credit is due." Buffy leaned down and caught Faith's lower lip between her teeth and ran her tongue along the sexy little cleft in it. "I just wanted to return the favor Fai..." She whispered against Faith's mouth before capturing it in a purely carnal kiss.
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They both were boneless, but finally sated lumps on the bed. Faith was flat on her back, a shit-eating grin on her face. She started to laugh softly.

"What?" Buffy asked, too lazy and too comfortable to lift her head from her pillow, which currently was Faith's right breast.

"I was just thinkin', that the Energizer Bunny ain't got nothin' on us Giz."

"You're so bad..." Buffy said, poking Faith in the side, eliciting a soft grunt from her, which sent her into her own fit of laughter.

"What?" Faith asked this time.

"That noise."

"What noise B?"

Buffy poked Faith in the side again, eliciting another soft grunt from her. "That noise," then Buffy did a fair imitation of the grunting noise Faith made, only hers was a little deeper and longer. "You made that same grunting noise each time you came. It reminded me of the first time you were in Sunnydale and you used to make that grunting noise when we were patrolling and you staked a vamp or talked about sex - which was almost all the time, matter of fact, that's one thing about you that hasn't changed. And I remembered my comment to you one night, Again with the grunting! I'm not comfortable with the grunting! Thing is, I'm way comfortable with it now, in fact, I think it's kinda sexy."

"Sexy eh?" Faith purred huskily and then burst out giggling; effectively killing the whole sensual air she was going for.

Buffy lifted her head at the joyful sound of Faith's laughter. Her breath caught at the look of pure delight and innocence that just lit up Faith's face. It should have been odd to see that look on Faith's face considering they had spent the better part of the last three days making love and fucking like sex-crazedniesnies in heat on Viagra. But somehow it wasn't. Somehow it seemed right, was right. And Buffy was grateful that for Faith the act of making love and even when they fucked made Faith feel this way, hell she was grateful that Faith could feel this way at all after all that had happened to her.

"OH SHIT!" Buffy yelled after catching a glimpse at the clock and seeing what time it was. She jumped off the bed, grabbed Faith's arm and all but dragged her from the bed with her. "Come on! We're gonna be late, real late."

"Late? For what?" Faith asked following Buffy towards the bathroom on very wobbly legs.

"Mars', we're supposed to be there in an hour! Shit!"

"I don't wanna go. Why can't we just stay here, B?" Faith whined.

"'Cause we promised, that's why."

"Right and I sse ise it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that Mars is doing an Angeline Jolie movie marathon for you tonight. Now, would it, B?"

"No it wouldn't. What's it matter anyway what he's showing? You jealous Faith?"

"Jealous. Hell no B! Please! She doesn't even come close to me on her best day!" Faith spat out, feeling a little bit insecure, which she knew was ridiculous as well as a little bit jealous of Buffy's fascination with Jolie.

Buffy stopped dragging Faith towards the bathroom and turned around feeling Faith's insecurity in an echo. She reached up and gently stroked the side of Faith's face, her thumb brushing along her cheekbone. Her heart fluttered when Faith leaned into her touch, "You're right she doesn't. You're the sexiest, hottest, luscious, most mouthwatering woman I've ever known. No one could hold a candle to you Faith, not her and not anyone, in any universe." Buffy told her and she meant every word as sappy as they were.

Faith gave Buffy a soft smile of appreciation, then her lips started to twitch at the corners. The twitching grew into a full-blown smile when she heard a bubble of laughter sneak out of Buffy. "Whoa, that rated a plus ten on the corny, mushy scale B."

"Couldn't help myself Fai. Sorry." Buffy laughed.

"Don't apologize," Faith said impishly, "Don't ya know B, that Love means never having to say you're sorry?"

"Oh my God, tell me I just didn't hear you say that!" Buffy sputtered, not quite believing that Faith had just quoted from Love Story the all time sappiest, corniest movie in the history of the world!

"Why? What's wrong with what I said?" Faith asked feigning innocence, batting her eyelashes rapidly like a butterfly on speed at Buffy.

"Please tell me you're kidding... and you know I think you just broke the plus twenty on the corny, mushy scale Faith." Buffy told her, then swatted her on the butt. "Now get moving you big ol' mush ball of mine!"

Faith rubbed her stinging buttock, "Hey easy there with the merchandise. Don't you think you've manhandled and abused my luscious, gorgeous, sexy body enough over the last few days you lust-crazed hedonist?" Then Faith took off running for the bathroom, Buffy hot on her heels.
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Faith had bitched, moaned and complained all through their shower, then while she braided her hair down her back, a la' Jolie in Tomb Raider, giving Buffy a wicked smirk at her surprised look. Then continued right on babbling her displeasure as she put on her make-up and got dressed, Buffy should have been irritated but she wasn't. How could she be, when she thought it was absolutely adorable?

"You're just so damn cute." Buffy told her when they had almost reached Lilith and Clotho's cottage.

"Am not!" Faith jutted out her bottom lip.

"Are too!"

"Am not B!" Faith's bottom lip jutted out even further, then she stuck her tongue out at Buffy like a two-year-old.

"Are too, ya big baby you!" Buffy teased.

"God B, how many times do I have 'ta tell ya, I AM NOT CUTE!" Faith pouted, stopped mid-stride, grabbed Buffy and turned her around to face her. "I AM fucking A DOR A BLE!!!!"

"Mmmm I'll say you're fucking adorable, so adorable in fact... I could just eat you all up!" Buffy purred, then bit her own bottom lip.

At that moment, Faith wanted nothing more then to catch that full bottom lip with her own teeth. God she was turning into a nymphomaniac! "I'd say you've been doing a pretty good job of that over the past few days B." Faith said low and husky.

"Well, at least we know why we haven't seen or heard from them in the last few days." Lilith said playfully, startling both Slayers.

Faith spun on her heels to face both Immortals who had managed to come out of the front door of their cottage without either Slayer hearing or seeing them.

"I'm guessing since we haven't heard from them that they remembered to invoke the privacy spell." Clotho grinned impishly at both of the Chosen.

"Thank the Creator for small favors." Lilith laughed, loving the blushes that had made guest-star appearances on both Slayers' faces.

"Looks like they were playing connect-the-hickey-dots again too!" Clotho chimed in between gaffs of laughter.

"ENOUGH ALREADY!!!" Buffy yelled shocking everyone. She took in a deep breath, she needed this like she needed a hole in her head, she was nervous enough as it was. "Could we just go?"

"Sure Buffy..." Lilith said feeling a little bit guilty for starting the teasing session. With a wave of her hand, she faded all four of them to Mars' mansion.
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They had barely faded into Mars' large backyard before a loud shout of, "SURPRISE!!!" assaulted their ears making all four jump about a half a foot off the ground.

Faith's first reaction was to cower in terror, memories of other birthdays flashing through her mind at the speed of light, then she heard Buffy's worried, loving whispered, "Happy birthday, baby?" Instead, it was the memories, not her, that cowered in terror then fled all together. She blinked rapidly trying to keep the tears from falling from her eyes as she saw all the smiling, loving faces of her family gathered around her all wishing her a Happy Birthday. She smiled back at them, a softness in her eyes that only Buffy ever had the privilege of seeing before and each person there felt honored that Faith had finally let her true self shine through.

The high-pitched squealing that erupted from Dawn, giving everyone near heart attacks, interrupted the hugs and birthday wishes. She practically tackled the two Slayers as she threw herself at them, babbling gibberish. She squeezed them both so tight that a loud whoosh of air forced its way out of them. Willow and Tara looked at each other then back at the Key and the Slayers. Willow heard a whispered, 'Look!', in her mind from Tara and then the two witches quickly let out loud squeals of their own and joined the hug fest, while everyone else looked on both puzzled and amused by the whole thing.

The two Slayers shared a look and then in perfect sync, they dropped to the ground and rolled out and away from the group hug fest. They smiled smugly at each other, they knew what had caused Dawn and the Wicca's squealing and hugging. They just waited to see if everyone else would catch on. They both started laughing when they saw Anya punch Xander, knowing that she had figured it out and they just waited for the scene to play out, they didn't have to wait long.

"OW! What was that for?" Xander yelped rubbing his arm.

"Men! Now, I remember why I agreed to become a Vengeance Demon. It's been over a year Xander and still I'm waiting! How much longer do I have to wait? I bet you they won't make each other wait that long!" Anya huffed, happy for the Slayers, but unhappy with her own situation.

"HUH?" Xander looked around bewildered hoping someone would help him out and the only answer he received was another punch on his arm from Anya. Faith took pity on him and wiggled her ring finger at him. A very large grin streaked across his face, then almost as quickly disappeared when it finally dawned on him what Anya was saying. He turned around and looked at Anya, catching up both her hands with his. He could care less that everyone was standing around waiting with bated breath to hear what he was g tog to say. All that mattered to him right now was Anya and what she was feeling. If he had learned nothing else over the last year or so, he had learned that he loved her more then life itself and he truly didn't give a shit if everyone knew that or if saying it aloud made him look weak.

"An' I've been waiting for you to give me a date," he said sincerely. "I mean... I didn't want to bring it up after what happe..." He trailed off hoping that she would catch on to what it was he trying to say without bringing up those painful months they all thought the Slayers were dead.

Anya nodded at him to go on letting him know silently that she understood. Her immediate reaction to his first few words were to rail at him, but something in the tone of his voice, his demeanor stopped her. Xander looked down then looked back up at her, the love he felt for her blazed in his eyes, but there was also a little bit of fear there too, which puzzled her.

"And when you never said anything after things had settled back down. I... I well... I was afraid to say anything. Afraid to ask, afraid you might tell me that you changed your mind. And so I didn't say anything, 'cause I would rather have left things the way they were then chance losing you. I love you more then I can ever say and I meant, still mean everything I said to you in the cellar that day. None of that has changed, if anything I love you even more. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for my silence to hurt you, or make you think that I had changed my mind."

Anya just threw her arms around Xander in answer, kissing him so fiercely and hotly that even the oldest amongst them blushed, though no one looked away. They did, however, quickly turn away once the kiss ended trying to pretend they hadn't been listening or watching the whole time. They all failed miserably, but neither Xander nor Anya really cared.

"So when? When did you ask, 'cause I know it wasn't when you planned or where 'cause that wasn't supposed to be until after today and I..."

"You're babbling honey." Tara said softly then smiled just as softly at Willow to take the sting out of her words.

Gary started to laugh at how red both Slayers had turned. At the same time both he and Anya held out their hands, looked around at everyone and said, "Pay up!"

"Pay up? Pay up for what? What's that supposed to mean?" Buffy asked apprehensively not really wanting to know and certainly not liking the smug looks on Gary and Anya's faces.

"I'm thinkin' they bet everyone that you wous...s..."

"...k her while the two of you were fuc..urmph." Anya said cutting off Faith until Xander's hand over her mouth cut her off. But she had managed to get enough out and both Slayers turned even redder.

"HA! The Energizer Slayer Bunnies strike or should I say hum..urmph..." Gary laughed only to be cut off by his mate, James' hand over his mouth.

"Buffy!" Dawn yelled, choosing to ignore both Anya and Gary's comments. "You asked Faith to m you you while you were in bed together? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO FAITH, AFTER EVERYTHING? NOT TO MENTION ALL THE BABBLING AND RUDINESS WE HAD TO PUT UP WITH FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS!"

"Hey... I um... well, it..." Buffy sputtered, totally mortified and wishing a hole would open up under her feet and swallow her.

"Gamin, it's okay. It was actually really sweet, cute and very romantic. And what she said to me was just beautiful, the most beautiful thing anyone ever has said to me. I wouldn't want her to change a thing." Faith gushed and then turned even redder. The blush, she was sure now covered every inch of her body. Not only was she the reining Queen of Blush-ville but she was starting to become the Queen of Corny and Sappy-ville too. She started wishing for that same hole to open up under her feet and swallow her that Buffy was wishing for too.

"All right everyone, they can tell us about it later, after a few dozen or so Jose' shooters." Mars' chuckled deciding to give the Slayers a break. Besides Faith, they both were his daughters and he really didn't want to hear the details. "Now lets get down to the business at hand celebrating m' Inghean's, and for those of you not versed in Gaelic that is... Let start celebrating my daughter Faith's twenty-first birthday.... Soooooo," he paused to wiggle his eyebrows at everyone, "...lets PARTY!"

Mars smiled at Faith whose eyes had gone just a little bit wide and a little bit glassy at his calling her his daughter. He had told her before that he thought of her as his own child, but he had never - not really - publicly acknowledged it. Then again, she hadn't seen the ear-splitting toothy grin or had heard him mumble in awe that she had called him My Father – m' Athair to all the Immortals that day at Lily's.
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"Faith..." Buffy called from the bathroom. She was feeling shy and a tad insecure and couldn't find the courage to actually face Faith to ask her question.

"Yeah, B." Faith called back from the bed where currently she was snuggled up with the Huskies, the stuffed panthers of course and two of her other birthday presents. Only these two presents were more for both Slayers rather than just her.

"Um... well... Um... Do you..."

"Spit it out B, I'm getting gray here!"

"Um... well... Do you know when you want to have our Joining Ceremony?" Buffy held her breath while she waited for Faith to answer her.

Faith knew exactly what Buffy was feeling, she had wanted to ask Buffy the same question all day. Normally she would tease her, she loved teasing shy Buffy, but she didn't have the heart or the inclination this time. "Honestly... right this second wouldn't be soon enough for me."

"REALLY???" Buffy squeaked then heaved in a desperately needed breath. She turned and hurriedly made her way out of the bathroom.

"Really B." Faith felt a tidal wave of love wash over her from Buffy.

Buffy came out of the bathroom and stopped dead in her tracks at the sight that greeted her. Faith was leaning back against the now twisted headboard, a few pillows propped up behind her. The sheet was pooled around her waist leaving her bare from her lower stomach up. The two huskies were cuddled up into her left leg, the stuffed panthers cuddled up to them. Lying across her thighs on their backs were Vanilla and Chocolate, the three-week-old black and white, real live, panthers that the Immortals had given them. Faith was lightly scratching their tummies and Buffy could hear the soft contented purring coming from them both, a sound that reminded her of Faith. Next to her on the bed were two empty baby milk bottles. She wished she had come out of the bathroom earlier; she would have loved to seen Faith feeding the two baby panthers. The thought, the image in her mind made her stomach flutter and her heart race. Why that was, she really wasn't sure but it did. She didn't get a chance to dwell on it for long, Faith's soft "Come here, B," interrupted her musing.

Buffy hurried over to the bed, she climbed up, careful not to disturb the four sleeping animals, they were all so damn cute. She snuggled into Faith's right side, propping herself up on an elbow so she could see her face while they talked. She glanced once more at the four sleeping animals as well as the stuffed ones and a small chuckle escaped her. At Faith's quizzical look she whispered, "I think we have a motif going on, first the stuffed panthers, then the horses, then the dogs and now these two babies."

"Nah... Ya think?" Faith asked quietly, a silly smile on her face. "Whatever could make you think that B? Just 'cause we have one light and one dark of each... it doesn't mean anything. You're just being silly."

"Yeah, you're right Fai, I'm being silly. Just 'cause we're light and dark and all our animals, both real and stuffed are, it must just be coincidence. And you know what else S.O.?"

"What Giz?"

"This conversation is silly too." They shared a look and both started to laugh softly. They enjoyed these silly times together. It wasn't often they had the luxury of being silly and carefree, so both had quietly agreed to embrace their inner silliness wholeheartedly whenever they had the opportunity.

"So um... I was thinking, with the way time works here and back home that we could have our Joining Ceremony before we left here in um... nine days andwillwill still be the weekend back home and we'll still have time left here for a short honeymoon... Then maybe during spring break we can use those tickets and the vacation club money you gave me for Christmas to go on a real honeymoon. What do you think, B? I mean you can say no, if it's too fast. You don't..."

"I think that's a wonderful idea, I think you're wonderful and if I thought everyone wouldn't have heart failure I would say lets do it tomorrow... Where did you want to have the Ceremony... 'Cause I... well... I was thinking that the clearing with the waterfall would be a beautiful place to have it."

"You just read my mind, B." Faith leaned down and gently kissed Buffy.

"Okay then, that's settled, we can tell everyone tomorrow at breakfast and maybe they can help us with the actual Ceremony part."

"Sounds like a plan." Faith couldn't stop the huge smile from appearing and it just made her heart beat triple time when Buffy returned it.

She carefully picked up the two sleeping baby panthers from her lap, cradling them like infants in her arms. She rose from the bed, acutely aware of Buffy's watching her. She rocked them gently, cooing to them as they made little mewing noises in protest. She squatted down next to the large basket and placed them in it. Softly she stroked them one last time and whispered a good night. It was with amusement she watched the two huskies get up from the bed, taking their stuffed panthers with them and proceeded to curl up protectively in front of the basket.

"I wish we didn't have to leave them here." Faith rasped softly.

"I know baby, I don't either. But Lily is right, it will be better for them here and she is letting us take Cinder back with us, which I know isn't the same but it will certainly make Furball happy." Buffy whispered back then both snd Fnd Faith laughed at Dusk's soft bark of agreement.

"I know, but still B they're just so small, still babies. It would just be nice to have them with us..." Faith said wistfully as she crawled up onto the bed and curled up into Buffy under the covers.

"Do you ever think about..." Buffy trailed off, biting her lip, wondering if she should even ask.

"Think about what, B?"

"Babies, kids. Do you ever think about having kids?" Her eyes searched Faith's and much to her dismay she watched as the steel veil she hadn't seen in a long time crashed down in Faith's eyes.

"No." She shut almost completely down, instantly, without thought. There wasn't any anger in her voice, her demeanor, she just seemed to be hard, cold, and emotionless.

'FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Good one Summers, stupid much? 'Cause I'm sure Faith would want to have kids considering she had such a fucking wonderful childhood. Maybe one of these days you'll learn to think before you speak. Dumb ass Summers! Christ you just asked her to marry you and already you're asking about kids and she still, we both are still healing from everything that's happened to us. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!

It wasn't that Faith had never thought about it. She had. She had given up on the idea a long time ago though and most of the dreams she had about being a mother had been killed the day she was called to be a Slayer. Whatever lingering dreams she had about having kids had been entirely killed the day that Glory had taken them.

"Faith?" Buffy queried softly.

She shuddered a little at the cold, almost dead look in her heart's eyes and shuddered again at the thought that Faith had been able to re-erect a wall so quickly. Had it only been earlier today that she had thought all of Faith's walls had crumbled to dust for the last time, never to be re-erected? She hadn't really meant anything by her question. She was just curious whether Faith ever thought about having kids she knew she had. It was quite easy, though, for her to imagine a little girl, a baby that looked exactly like Faith. As she continued to gaze intently into Faith's veiled eyes she saw something in them she had missed before.... fear. It suddenly became clear to Buffy why Faith was having such a complete and total shut down to her innocent question. She knew that this had to do with Faith's past and not anything to do with them.

"Faith... Fai?" Buffy tried softly again, trying to pull Faith out from behind the steel wall she had erected.

Faith stared sightlessly into Buffy's hazel-gold eyes. Her mind was reeling with memories of her own childhood. She blinked once, twice, as the sound of Buffy's soft scared voice finally penetrated through the barrage of memories assaulting her. She realized suddenly that she had built a new wall and was hiding behind it and it scared her a little, that she had done it so easily, so unconsciously, another knee-jerk reaction from her life before now. She mentally kicked at the wall, trampled it under her feet and obliterated it with a strength that Hercules would have been proud of.

Fuck, if she was ever going to let her past scare her into retreating. Not now! Not again! She recognized this for what it was. It was the same thing, the same voices that had tried so hard to control her over the last few weeks and she wasn't about to give into them again. She was stronger now, stronger than ever in her life and even stronger with Buffy beside her. Buffy knew all there was to know about her, had seen her at her worst, had seen things that no one should ever have seen and she was still here with her, still loved her. Wanted to Join with her, spend the rest of her life with her and it seemed eternity as well. There was nothing they couldn't work out together, there was nothing that she could tell Buffy that would make her turn away from her. She could talk to Buffy about her own doubts and fears, there wasn't any weakness or shame in that and it was about fucking time that she learned that and remembered it. Even so, she knew for her it was easier said than done, the words she knew wouldn't come to her easily. It was a matter of pride to her that she had always kept her promises, both good and bad, she had made a few to herself in the last few days all of which she was determined to keep.

Buffy heaved an internal sigh of relief when she saw the veil over Faith's eyes lift. What she saw though, so much vulnerability, insecurity, and a little bit of fear in Faith's eyes, made her heart cry for her Dark mate. She wished she could take the question back, she obviously would have never asked it if she knew it would cause this kind of reaction, pain in Faith. Ignoring it though wasn't the answer and as much as Buffy didn't want to spoil the end to their wonderful day, she decided she was going to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, if Faith didn't.

"You okay baby?" She asked Faith quietly, her hand unconsciously reaching up to caress gently the side of Faith's face.

Faith caught Buffy's caressing hand and brought it to mou mouth. She gently planted a few soft kisses on the back of it then pulled it down to hold it against her chest, her heart.

"Yeah B. I when... when I was... it's... I didn't... oh fuck!" She huffed, blowing air forcefully out of her mouth, exasperated at her inability to put the words together.

"It's okay Fai... Take your time, I'm not going anywhere. Just let the words come out any way they want." Buffy leaned in towards Faith and placed a soft, almost dainty kiss on her mouth.

The conversation had started innocently enough but somehow, somewhere in the last few minutes it had become extremely important to her. Why? She didn't know why, but it was. She didn't want.... or did she? She did and in a moment of clarity, Buffy suddenly understood why it was so important. She wanted to have a full life with Faith and she realized when she closed her eyes and allowed herself to think of a future for them, she had seen them in it with children. Up until she had found her home, her soul-mate in Faith she had pretty much given up on the idea of ever having children, but that had all changed. Maybe not right now, this minute, this year, but definitely if it was what Faith wanted too, in the future. Especially now that she thought about having a future, now that she carried the hope in her heart that she, and Faith, would live a long life together. Now that she resisted the idea that her destiny, that Faith's destiny was to live short lives because they were Slayers. Now after all these years of being a Slayer she had hope in her heart that she would live to see gray hair on her head, liver spots on her hands, and wrinkles on her face. And as she gazed into Faith's eyes she could see, could feel that same hope lived inside of Faith too.

"Okay B, I'll try. When I... I was little I used to pretend what it would be like when I was a Mom. How I would treat my kids, how a Mom, a Dad was supposed to treat their kids. Ya know?" Faith looked at Buffy not really expecting an answer, "...and I used to promise myself at night that when I was a Mom I would never, ever do to my kids what my... what was done to me. Then as I started to get older even though I couldn't seem to stop myself, I could see how I treated other people, could see how in some ways I was becoming like they were. It was almost a relief when I got called, 'cause I figured I would never have to worry about having kid. I didn't think I would live long enough to have them. I'm sure you probably thought the same thing after you got called too. Didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did. I kind of figured I wouldn't live long enough to have kids. And, to be honest, there wasn't anyone I ever really wanted to have them with. But then you came along and you turned my world upside down. In the time we've been together I've started to... no, I believe that we can have all those things. God, just look what we've done so far. We live together, have a pretty normal life, outside of the Slaying. We own a business, I'm already in college and you'll be starting back with me in a few weeks. We're raising Dawn, we have a really big, really nosy family, but they're all good, loving people. I'm not ready to have a baby tomorrow, but I can't lie... if you want to, if it's something you want too, I would love to have kids with you Faith." Buffy continued to stare into Faith's soft eyes, her heart, her soul ir gar gaze.

"I'm afraid, B..." Faith whispered softly, shamefully.

"What are you afraid of Fai?" Buffy asked just as softly, she gave Faith's hand, which was still holding hers tightly, a little squeeze.

"I'm afraid that I'll end up being just like her, like my Mom. I mean I still lose my temper, get mad, still feel like I want to lash out, hit. I'm just afraid that I'll end up being like them, no matter how hard I try not to be." She dropped her eyes; afraid almost of what it was she would see in Buffy's. Silently she berated herself for being so chicken-shit and just as silently she cursed herself for not believing in herself. In not believing, yet again, in Buffy, in Angel, in all of them. For doubting the fact that they believed in her wholeheartedly, for doubting that she knew she was a different person. She took a deep breath and raised her eyes back up to Buffy's and what she saw in them started to melt away all the doubts she had.

"You could never be like her, like either of them, Faith. Never! I know that, we all know that. You need to let yourself know that too. And if you still have doubts all you have to do is look at Dawn. You've been raising her just as much as I have. In fact if it wasn't for you, I might have pushed her away, alienated her. If ever there were a time you would have raised your hands to her it would have been that day in the training room when she attacked you. Hell you didn't even yell at her. I was the one who yelled, who pushed her and had you not stopped me I would have hurt her. And if you need more proof take a look around at the facf thf the all the kids you've helped over the last year at the center. You, Faiwoulwould be a wonderful Mother. You're loving, caring, gentle, smart, funny and all I can say is that when I see you with Dawn, see you with the kids from the center you remind me of my Mom." Buffy kept her eyes locked with Faith's as she spoke and she consciously opened the bond between them, letting the feelings, the emotions, the images flow from her to Faith along with her words.

Faith heard and felt it all. And she believed. "Thank you... and I'm not the only one that's gonna make a wonderful Mom, you are too B. Someday B, someday I'd like to have a little girl or a little boy or maybe even both with you."

"I'd like that too, Fai. I'd like that a lot." Buffy husked softly then rested her head against Faith's chest, listening to her heartbeat. She began to purr deep inside when Faith's arms came round to hold her close and she smiled softly when she heard Faith begin to purr in answer to her wordless call.

They rested quietly against each other, secure and so damn proud of themselves for talking it out, for not giving in or letting Faith's demons from her past win. Eventually, they drifted off to sleep, to dream of a future filled with love, happiness, joy and the beautiful children they someday hoped they would have together.
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...Heal me lift me ~ Take me to the waterside ~ Drop me in let me swim ~ Let everyone know I'll be coming home again...
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Continued in Chapter XXXIII – Heal Me (Part I)