ONE NORMAL LIFE / TWO EXTRAORDINARY LIVES
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BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
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Adult ++
Chapters:
210
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11,348
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Category:
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
210
Views:
11,348
Reviews:
182
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
ST. LOUIS FISHING
CHAPTER 66 – ST. LOUIS FISHING
Buffy was glad William had eaten a while before they’d gotten on the road again. Although his stomach hadn’t been upset since earlier he’d argued, she’d convinced him to take half a Dramamine, just in case.
With Xander’s direction, Willow took a turn at the wheel for a couple of hours, until the next gas fill-up.
When Xander started to drive, William had asked Willow to ‘google’ the internal combustion engine. When she had, he went up front and sat with Xander for a while, asking questions from the diagram on the laptop.
“I wish I knew more about this sort of thing,” William said.
“Maybe you could take a course in mechanics, once you get back to California,” Xander suggested.
“They have those? Maybe I’ll do that. That way, if Elizabeth’s car was making strange noises, like Leroy’s was, I’d know how to fix it, just like you did.”
Xander felt rather flattered, “Yeah, and don’t forget about that old DeSoto of yours.”
William nodded, “Yes, Elizabeth told me I have an older model car.”
“Maybe you should take a course on electrical things, too. Seeing as…”
“As I don’t remember anything?”
“Not that you used electricity much,” Xander mumbled, mostly to himself.
“What was that?”
“Nothing,” Xander said. “You should think of looking into learning to drive, too.”
William didn’t say anything. There was so much. Here he was thinking of learning ‘mechanics,’ and he didn’t even know how to drive a car. Plus, just looking at all the cars on the highway and the speed of things passing by, was making him almost nauseous again.
“I don’t know where it is you guys live now,” Xander continued, “but I’m guessing that it’s not in middle of a pedestrian friendly, major city, And in California, you need a car to get from one place to another.”
“I suppose,” William sighed, then looked over to Xander, hopefully. “Might you possibly teach me?”
“You want me to…? Damn Spike! I mean, William. But I can’t. Not in this, it’s way too big, and there won’t be enough time, not to mention, learning on the highways, not such a good idea. I’m sure Buffy can teach you when you get back to California. Or maybe Clem,” Xander said, laughing. “On the other hand, better stick with Buffy.”
“Why? Doesn’t Clem drive?”
“Yeah, he drives. It’s just…oh never mind, you’ll see.”
“Hey guys, what’s up?” Buffy asked, coming up to the front.
“Just talking to William here about learning to drive.”
“Oh?” she asked, sitting down on William’s lap, looking at him.
“Yeah, I told him you’ll teach him, once you get back home. Isn’t that right, Buffy?”
“Sure,” she said smiling, “whenever he’s ready to learn.”
“Oh, and Buffy?”
“Yeah, Xander?”
“Get off William’s lap. If a cop sees you, he’ll pull me over. Unrestrained and all that.”
There was a joke in there somewhere, but she decided to let it go. She got up.
“How much longer?”
“About 2 hours.”
“You need anything Xander? A drink? Something to eat? A break?”
“No, I’m fine. Need to talk to Angela though, can you get her?”
“Sure, will do,” Buffy said, walking back.
“Well, I’ll move back so you can speak to your wife. Thank you for your advice, Xander. I’ll consider all that we talked about.”
“You’re welcome, William,” Xander said, smiling. This new and improved Spike was way easier to deal with than the old one.
A little more than an hour later, the RV crossed the Mississippi River, at the border of Illiniois and Missouri, and into the city of St. Louis. They all crowded around the windows looking at the city’s famous Gateway Arch. Willow had ‘googled’ some information about it.
Willow read to them, “The Gateway Arch was finished in 1965 and it says, ‘What stood before the world was a magnificent monument to Westward expansion designed to last 1,000 years.’ It’s made of stainless steel and stands 630 feet high. Oh, you can take a tram to the top from either the north or south sides. ‘On your way to the top using the south leg, you'll return to an era in the 1800s when the St. Louis riverfront was bustling with steamboats, fur traders, and merchants. On your way to the top using the north leg, you'll be transported back to 1965 when construction workers wedged the last triangular Arch section into place.’
Ooh, riverboat cruises on the Mississippi, too.”
“What’s a tram, daddy?” Alex asked.
“It’s like a little train. See that arch? There’s a tram that goes all the way to the top?”
“Really? Can we stop? I wanna go to the top! Please daddy!”
“See what you started,” Xander said, smiling back at Willow, “we can’t today. We have to get to our campground, then we’re going to see grandma and grandpa tomorrow. You want to see grandma and grandpa, don’t you?”
“Yessss, but I still want to ride the tram to the top of the arch!”
“Tell you what, we’ll do it on the way back home, okay? Promise!”
“Scout’s honor, daddy?” he asked holding up his ‘scout’ pledge fingers.
“Scout’s honor, Alex,” Xander replied, doing the same.
“Hmmm…Mark Twain, Louis Armstrong…” Willow continued. “Oh…Lewis and Clark started their 8000 mile expedition from here. Journeyed up the Missouri River, across the Rocky’s…down the Columbia…to the Pacific…specimens of plant, animal, mineral resources. Info on American Indian culture…enabled U.S. to claim the Oregon region, which includes Oregon, Washington, and Idaho. Impressive.”
Buffy sat down next to William on one of the couches, “What do you think?”
“It’s…sort of scary and exciting at the same time. The idea of the ‘gateway to the west.’ I used to read all about the prairie, buffalo, and of course, the Indians, when I was a young lad back in England. Read Lewis and Clark’s adventures, and the goldrush…goldrush,” he said getting a funny look on his face.
“Well, don’t think you’ll see any buffalo, probably not much in the way of open prairie anymore, either,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t go back to the last thing he’d said.
William sat there trying to remember something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. His head was beginning to hurt, and he wasn’t comfortable looking out on the big city. He laid his head back on the couch and closed his eyes.
“You alright?” Buffy asked.
“Little bit of a headache.”
“You want some aspirin?”
“No, I’ll be alright, just rest my eyes for a few minutes.”
“Okay,” she said, giving his hand a squeeze.
It took them another hour to get to the campground outside of Montgomery City. Lazyday Campground was set in a small country setting, in a beautiful, wooded location, away from all outside noise.
Xander signed in, and got their lot number and drove the RV to it’s spot. It was 3:00pm and they’d gone the first 450 miles or so of their journey.
Once stopped, Xander and Angela extended the overhanging shade off of the side of the RV, so there would be shade. Took out an outdoor grill, put out lawn chairs, and covered the picnic table that came with their site with a plastic cover.
Dawn and Willow went off to the campground’s little store for some charcoal, fluid, marshmallows, and things to make S’mores. Buffy and William helped Xander and Angela set up the 3-room tent that Xander’s family would spend the night, while Alex stood by the portable playpen watching Ann.
The campground boasted a swimming pool, groceries, video rental, club/game room, and a three-acre lake, and three ponds, all stocked.
Dawn and Willow returned, and along with Angela, the baby, and Buffy, decided they’d go to the swimming pool, before starting to get dinner ready.
“Buffy was going to ask William if he wanted to come along, when Xander announced, ““Okay, us men are going to go do some manly fishing, see if we can catch something for dinner. That okay?” he asked Angela.
She nodded.
“How about you, partner? Want to help daddy catch some fish?”
“Okay. Can I go swimming later then?”
“We’ll have to see how late it is, Alex. So you have to decide if you want to go swimming with mommy or fishing with daddy and William, if William wants to go,” he said, looking over at William, who nodded his assent.
Alex took a minute to think about it. “I’ll go fishing with you, Daddy. I can swim another time.”
“Good boy, Al Xan Xander said, smiling.
“William? You might want to put on some old clothes, instead of the ones you have on.”
“I don’t really have any old clothes. Everything is pretty new.”
“Wait, what about the ones with the grease on them? From last night? You could wear those,” Buffy reminded him. “I’ll go find them, I have to find my bathing suit, anyway.”
He nodded, “I’ll be right back, after I change,” he said to Xander.
“I’ll take Alex to the store and get the bait, then we’ll meet you back here in about 10 minutes.”
“Alright.”
William found Buffy in the bedroom going through the bag of dirty laundry, “Here they are,” she said, handing him the pants and shirt, he’d worn the night before.
Buffy closed and locked the door, and drew the curtains, before starting to take her clothes off. William was doing the same, when he glanced over at Buffy. She had just put on her bathing suit bottom, when he stopped what he was doing and stared at her, moved by her beauty. The naturalness that had developed between them, allowing her to undress in front of him without hesitation was just one of the wonderful turns his life had taken.
He smiled and reached out suddenly, pulling her into an embrace, and kissed her.
His smile was infectious, and she giggled, as she kissed him back. He sat down on the bed and pulled her over so that she was standing between his legs. He kissed her breasts, licked at her nipples, one hand on her waist, the other around her back.
Her hands moved to play in his hair, rub his neck, as she moaned softly, going from zero to fifty in seconds flat on the ‘lust-o-meter,’ as her knees begin to weaken, and her sex starting to throb in anticipation of his hands, his mouth, his cock.
“This isn’t fishing,” she teased, panting.
“Don’t want fishing, want you,” he said, as he raised his head, catching her mouth in a deep kiss.
“Want you, too,” she murmured, “but…”
Just then, they heard Alex outside the RV.
The both groaned.
“Later?” she asked.
William nodded, enthusiastically.
A few minutes later, William joined Xander and Alex outside the RV. Xander was sorting out his fishing poles, while Alex was busy trying to catch a minnow.
“Wanna see the little fishies?” he asked William.
“Certainly,” he said, coming over to kneel down next to Alex, “there’s lots of them.”
“Uh-huh. Wanna hold one?”
“Won’t it kill them?”
“Not if you don’t hold it too long,” Alex said, handing him one in the palm of his hand.
The minnow flopped around, while William and Alex looked at it, “It’s pretty. Let’s put it back now, though,” he said.
“Okay,” said Alex, catching the wiggling fish and putting it back into the bucket.
“We have worms, too. Big ones!” Alex said. “Want to see those?”
Before he could answer, Xander called, “Let’s go Alex, William!”
“Okay,” they answered.
“Here’s a fishing pole for you, William,” Xander said, handing him one, “and here’s yours, Alex.”
Alex grabbed his, “This is mine, my daddy bought it for me for my birthday last year!” he pry toy told William.
“It’s very nice, Alex. Your daddy is a nice man to buy you such a nice fishing pole.”
Alex nodded, “My daddy is a nice man!” he agreed, skipping ahead to hold Xander’s hand, after giving William a smile.
They walked about 1/8 of a mile to the lake. There was a wooden pier that was about 20’ x 6’ that they walked to the end of.
Xander helped Alex put a worm on his, then helped him cast.
William stood there watching Xander put a minnow on his, and made a slight face, which Xander caught.
“Worm, minnow, or chicken liver?” he asked.
“Chicken liver?” William asked, confused.
Xander explained that the crappies in the lake were most likely to go for the minnows, the catfish liked worms and chicken livers, and that trout could be caught with worms, or ‘flies’ if they were fishing with a ‘flyrod,’ which they didn’t have.
“So, you use different bait for the different kinds of fish?”
“That’s about it, but it’s not set in stone, just a general rule. Different diets for different types of fish. So, what’ll it be?”
“Um, worms for trout, I guess.”
“Good choice. As for eating, I much prefer trout to catfish,” Xander said, handing him the little bait pail full of worms.
William opened it up, and saw the long brown worms crawling about in the black dirt. Taking a deep breath, he pulled one out, then dropped it. Alex giggled. He tried again, and held it tighter this time.
Xander grabbed his hook on the line and handed it to him. Just hook him a couple of times, like this,” he said, doing one for himself on his hook.
William copied Xander, trying hard not to make a face at having to puncture the worm with the hook, and the worm guts that came out on his hand.XandXander laughed, “Here,” he said, handing him a rag.
“Thanks.”
Next, Xander showed him how to hold the pole and when to release the reel when casting.
After a couple of false starts, he got the hang of it.
“Didn’t your daddy ever teach you how to fish?” Alex asked, coming up next to William.
William shook his head, “My daddy didn’t fish, “he said, trying to remember his father’s face, “or if he did, he didn’t show me how.”
“What did your daddy do?” Alex asked.
“He was a solicitor, a lawyer. He used to help poor people in court,” he said.
“Oh,” Alex said, looking like deep in thought, “Where is he?”
“He’s not living anymore.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Alex. It was a long time ago.”
“Hey, think I got something,” Xander said, suddenly, as the fishing pole bent. He pulled up, then reeled in a 12” trout. “Hey, hey! Not a too bad start! Alex, get me the cooler.
“Here daddy.”
Xander put the fish into the cooler.
They stayed for about an hour. Each of them getting small bites and losing their bait, but not catching anything.
“Why don’t we try out one of those ponds?” Xander asked.
They tried the first pond and nothing was biting, then the second.
“Hey, Alex! You got one,” Xander said, watching the pole. “Okay, pull it up hard. That’s it, now reel it in.”
“Good job!” Xander said, as he reeled in a 7” crappie.
“I’m going to eat this one!” Alex said.
“I think I’ve got one, too,” William said, as Xander was helping Alex take his fish off the hook.
“Okay, do what I told Alex. Pull up hard, then reel it in.”
“Okay. Oh drats!” William said, as the line went slack.
“Lost it, huh?”
“Yes,” he said, looking sadly at the empty hook, “got my worm, though.
He pulled out another worm and put it on his hook. A few minutes later, he had his first fish, another trout, smaller than Xander’s, but still one to keep.
“Congratulations, William,” Xander said, “you caught your first fish!”
Just then Angela came up to join them.
“Mommy, mommy! I caught a crappie,” Alex said.
“You did? That’s wonderful!”
“Where’s Ann?” Xander asked.
“She’s laying down for a nap. Elizabeth is with her. Dawn and Willow are still at the pool.
“Can I go swimming now?”
Angela laughed, “That’s why I came. I found out they close the pool in an hour, so I wanted to know if Alex wanted to get in some swimming first.”
“You don’t want to fish anymore?” Xander asked.
Alex looked undecided.
“That’s alright. You go swimming. Maybe we’ll go fishing later again.”
“Okay,” Alex said, taking Angela’s hand.
“Tell Buffy that William caught a fish, too,” Xander said, looking over at William, who smiled at her.
“I will. I think she wanted me to check up on how that was going, too,” she said, winking at William.
“We’ll come back soon.”
“Okay, good luck boys!”
After she’d left, Xander suggested they try the third pond.
The last pond was farther away than the other two had been to each other, and was the smallest one. They walked along in silence until they got there.
Xander starting to cast his line, knocked into William, who had been squatting down next to him, getting a worm.
“Oh, sorry about that,” Xander said, “didn’t see you there; left side you know.”
“No, I’m sorry. I should have said something,” William said, then paused. “If you don’t mind my asking, how did you lose your eye?”
Xander turned to him, “You really don’t remember, do you?”
William looked at him and shook his head.
Xander sighed, thinking how he should put it, “This guy Caleb, he did it to me. You were there; you pushed him off me, before he could get my other one. Guess I should have thanked you back then.”
“Oh, my God!” William said, feeling sick at the thought of something so violent. Something he’d been involved in?
“There…there was a fight?”
“You could say that,” Xander said, darkly, trying hard to control his emotions over something he’d put behind him for the past 5 years.
“And I…I was in the fight?”
“Yeah, Spike, you were there. Fighting the good fight.”
William shook his head.
“Why were we fighting this…Caleb?” William asked. It was hard to imagine himself being in a fight, let alone in one where something so horrible had happened to Xander.
“Eh, you know. The normal kind of fight for Sunnydale, good vs. evil.”
Good vs. evil?
“I’m sorry. I don’t remember,” William said, pausing, “and I’m sorry…I’m sorry I wasn’t able to push him off you before…”
“It’s alright. You were trying to get Buffy out of there, while I was trying to get Kennedy and the others out of there.”
“Elizabeth? She was there? While there was a fight? She wasn’t hurt…was she?” William asked, his heart pounding. What kind of a man had he been? To have been somewhere with Elizabeth, while there was a fight? Kennedy, Willow’s bird? Others?
“Um, no. I guess not. Not more than…” he looked over at William, who had turned a sickly green color. He’d almost said, ‘not more than normal, being the slayer,’ but had caught himself in time. Xander sighed. “Not more than a tiny bit, from you pushing her out of the way. Don’t worry about it, William. It was a long time ago.”
“Xander? What did you mean by good vs. evil?”
“Nothing, William. Just rattling on,” Xander said, evasively. He looked at William who appeared to still be waiting for some sort of answer. “You know what I mean, good guys and bad guys; just the normal kinds of stuff. Let’s just say that Caleb was a big mouthed bastard and leave it at that.”
“Alright,” William said, after a pause, “I didn’t mean to…”
“No, don’t worry about it. I didn’t mean for you to get upset.”
William went back to putting a worm on his hook and casting. They fished in silence for a few minutes.
“You know, everybody talks ‘around’ me,” William said.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, that everybody talks, but when it comes to the past, especially my past, nobody really says anything. Like you're all trying to protect me."
“Hmm…well, you’ve been through a lot. Guess we just don't want you to worry about things that you can’t do anything about,” Xander answered.
“Xander? Can I ask you something?”
“Um, sure. What is it?”
“What did I do back in Sunnydale? What was I?”
“What do you mean?” Xander asked, dreading this conversation more and more by the second.
“I mean,” William said, keeping his eyes on his fishing pole, “What did I do? To make a living?”
Xander let out a breath, “I don’t know, think you did freelance work,” he answered.
William was about to ask what he meant, when all of a sudden he got a pull on his line, “Hey!”
“Got one? Good!” Xander said, relieved to veer away from the topic at hand to fishing instead.
They fished for another half-hour and each caught enough fish to make it a worthwhile dinner for them all. It had been the best pond yet.
William had decided to drop the subject, to which Xander had been grateful.
The girls were all sitting outside on lawn chairs when Xander and William returned.
“How was fishing?’ Dawn asked.
“Enough for dinner?” Willow asked.
“Good and yes, to answer your questions. Just dropping off these poles, then I’ll go over to the fish cleaning station and take care of these.”
“Want me to go with you?” William asked.
“If you want. You don’t have to, though, I got it covered.”
“Oh. Okay. If you’re sure.”
“Yeah, I’m good,” Xander said. He didn’t want any more awkward moments alone with William for now.
“Where’s Elizabeth?” William asked Dawn.
“Down at the bathrooms. She decided to take a shower before dinner.”
“Oh, okay,” William said, “I’ll be inside, then.”
“Okay, William,” Dawn said.
On the way down to the station, Xander ran into Buffy on the way back from her shower.
“Hey, Xander,” she said smiling, “how was fishing?”
“Not bad, not bad,” he answered, and told all all about their catches.
“Good. Where’s William?” she asked.
“Back at the RV. Listen, Buff, I got to tell you something.”
“What?” she asked, looking worried.
Xander proceeded to tell her about his conversation regarding his eye, the fight, and William’s questions.
“Oh God!” Buffy groaned.
“It’s not that bad, I deflected most of his questions, but it was getting real uncomfortable. You know…you have to tell him something one of these days. He’s not stupid. Neither was Spike. Now I know where, or rather who, he got if from. He knows we're talking around him, around what really happened, who he was, what he was, what our lives were like in Sunnydale.”
“Yeah, well, Xander, what should I do? Tell him he was a vampire that killed people for 100 years? But then went out and got a soul? Died saving the world, but then came back human again? How’s he going to digest all that information? You know what he’d do? I think he’d retreat so far into himself, that he would disappear. Either that, or run off. You didn’t see him when he was bad, after he was out of the hospital; didn’t see him shake all night in fear, cry…”
“I know, Buffy, but…”
“He’s still fragile, Xander,” Buffy said, eyes imploring him to understand. “You have no idea, of just how fragile he is inside. Do you have any idea how much that would hurt him?”
Xander nodded, “Yeah, I think I’ve got an idea. He got pretty upset when I let it slip that you were around during the fight. Thank God, I didn’t say that you were fighting; he probably would have fainted. Still, one day…”
“Yeah, maybe one day… What do you tell Angela about the past, speaking of talking around a subject? Does she know?”
“Of course not. I mean, she knows about all of you and high school, Sunnydale. I just don’t tell her anything about demons, vampires, werewolves, or witches,” he said, laughing.
“Well, that leaves out a huge percentage of what our lives were about,” Buffy agreed, laughing, too. TrueTrue. But I’m still not having to hide who Angela from Angela, like you are Spike from William.”
Buffy nodded and sighed, “I know. I just want to get him home. I just want him to be safe. And I just want us…it’s been so good…between us. I never thought...never thought I'd ever see him again, except in my dreams, never thought I'd have a chance. We'd have a chance," Buffy said, without finishing, knowing it would make Xander squirm to hear her say words of love and caring about Spike. What she'd wanted to say was that she never thought she'd have a chance in this lifetime again to get it right. With him. With Spike. Or William, if that was the incarnation he remained as.
Every moment she was without him now, even momentarily, made her uneasy, fearful. She knew her mind was being unreasonable. Stupid mind. Since the first time she saw him in the hospital up to now, she couldn't stop touching him when he was around, couldn't stop looking at him. Couldn’t still believe he was real.
To her, he was still a miracle, and that fact would never get old. She couldn't say this to Xander, to anybody. To say it, meant to admit that she was as vulnerable to the pain as he was, and she was still The Slayer, in her friend's eyes. And partly, in her own, too. At least, now that it came to dealing with the danger Spike had been in, and the threats that still lingered somewhere on the horizon, in spite of Willow’s protection spell. Somebody had to be strong, had to fight for...
A normal life? No, scratch that, she didn't quite know what to do with the one she'd been living for 5 years anyway, and she doubted any life with Spike or William would just be shades of normal. Just having a life, toge, th, that's what she wanted. 'Normal,' be damned!
Instead, she said to Xander, "I can’t…I don’t want…if I tell him, I’ll break his heart. His whole idea, of who he thinks he is, who he really is inside, will crumple. And he is a good man, he was before he died, and I don't just mean by Drusilla's hand, but be Sun Sunnydale...collapsed," Buffy said, pacing back and forth in front of Xander.
"I don't know what to do, if I don’t tell him, I’m lying to him. Fuck! Why can’t he just be happy? Why can’t he be happy, safe, whole? Why? Why do I have to make these choices? Why do I have to choose how to hurt him less? I don’t want to hurt him at all. Not anymore, not again,” Buffy said, looking at Xander with desperation in her eyes. "Didn't he already pay the price, Xander? Pay iin ain and suffering and his own death? Again? How fucking much does Spike have to pay? Does William?"
Xander flinched, her anguish coming out in language he wasn't used to hearing from her. He shook his head, “Or you? You forgot to mention that you've paid the price, too," Xander said. "I don’t know the answers to your questions, Buffy. You know I only want the best for you, and I know when the time comes, you’ll do what’s best. You always do. You'll help him through it. You are helping him. You've gotten him on his feet, and he's coping fairly well."
" My God, Buffy! Compared to what you helped him with in the past," he let out a soft whistle, "when he came back with his soul and was insane, when The First was messing with his head... this should be the easy part. Will be the easy part.”
“You really believe that? You’re not just saying that? Because believe me, I don’t always know what’s best. You don’t even know some of the mistakes I’ve made…”
“It doesn’t matter, Buffy. You don’t have to be perfect in order to do your best. Nobody expects that from you, not even William, only you expect that from you. That’s what I’m talking about,” he said, holding her gaze.
"Oh, and one more thing, I think, no, make that, I know that it’s all going to work out for you this time. For both you and Spike. Together," he said, nodding, conceding her choice.
“That means the world to me, Xander,” Buffy said.
“I know. Now, let me get going, or these fish are going to rot before I can clean them.”
“Clean away then. I’ll see you back there,” she said, giving him a warm hug first.
“Okay, Buffy.”
She met up with Angela who was coming back from swimming with Alex.
“Hi, Buffy. Are they boys back yet?”
“Yeah, I just ran into Xander, who’s off to clean the fish.”
“Guess he got enough to cook then, huh? That’s good. He usually cooks it too, so that means I don’t have to,” she winked.
When they arrived, Willow and Dawn were still sitting outside, Ann was in a little swing, between them.
“Hey guys,” Buffy said, “Where’s William?”
“He’s inside.”
“Okay, I’m gonna go check on him.”
Buffy walked to the back of the RV, and opened the door. William was lying on his side, his face away from her. She closed the door behind her and locked it, and lay down next to him, nuzzling up to his back, as she put her arm around him.
He’d been lying there, thinking about his conversation with Xander. He’d been in a fight, Xander had lost an eye, and Elizabeth had been there! Xander had been evasive about knowing what he, William, did for a living before. It was all, incomprehensible to him, his life, his memories, his past. And everybody talked in a careful, measured way, when it had anything to do with him.
Buffy felt her stomach tighten, at his lack of response. He always responded to her, even in his sleep, if she curled up next to him.
“What is it, William? What’s wrong?”
He didn’t answer her. He didn’t knhat hat was wrong himself.
“Please, William,” she said, getting up on her elbow, "talk to me."
“Huh? Elizabeth?" he asked, feigning just awakening, as he turned toward her, felt himself melt at the concern in her eyes.
“You were asleep? I didn’t think you were…oh, nevermind. You’re back,” she said, smiling softly at him and putting her hand on his face, caressing it. He closed his eyes, drawn to its attendant comfort, like a moth, to a flame.
“How was fishing?” she asked.
He opened his eyes, “Interesting, a bit of fun. Caught a few fish, but still would have rather been here, like this, with you,” he said, giving her a look that melted her, as his lips brushed against her softly.
Her eyes were moist when he pulled back to look at her. He tilted his head at her,
questioningly.
“What’s wrong?”
"Nothing,” she said, trying to smile, “I just missed you, William.”
He smiled at her, shaking his head, “I missed you, too, Elizabeth. Always miss you.”
He took her face in his hands and gently brought each part of it to his lips, her eyes, her forehead, her nose, her chin, once again, her mouth.
She moaned, as she kissed him back hard, pressing against him.
He returned it, and they wrestled for dominion in a kissing war, each trying to forget about everything but the moment.
“Now where were we?” William asked, pulling back a little, his hand going under her T-shirt, as a naughty little smile played at the corners of his mouth, “Before I went fishing…?”
END CHAPTER 66
Buffy was glad William had eaten a while before they’d gotten on the road again. Although his stomach hadn’t been upset since earlier he’d argued, she’d convinced him to take half a Dramamine, just in case.
With Xander’s direction, Willow took a turn at the wheel for a couple of hours, until the next gas fill-up.
When Xander started to drive, William had asked Willow to ‘google’ the internal combustion engine. When she had, he went up front and sat with Xander for a while, asking questions from the diagram on the laptop.
“I wish I knew more about this sort of thing,” William said.
“Maybe you could take a course in mechanics, once you get back to California,” Xander suggested.
“They have those? Maybe I’ll do that. That way, if Elizabeth’s car was making strange noises, like Leroy’s was, I’d know how to fix it, just like you did.”
Xander felt rather flattered, “Yeah, and don’t forget about that old DeSoto of yours.”
William nodded, “Yes, Elizabeth told me I have an older model car.”
“Maybe you should take a course on electrical things, too. Seeing as…”
“As I don’t remember anything?”
“Not that you used electricity much,” Xander mumbled, mostly to himself.
“What was that?”
“Nothing,” Xander said. “You should think of looking into learning to drive, too.”
William didn’t say anything. There was so much. Here he was thinking of learning ‘mechanics,’ and he didn’t even know how to drive a car. Plus, just looking at all the cars on the highway and the speed of things passing by, was making him almost nauseous again.
“I don’t know where it is you guys live now,” Xander continued, “but I’m guessing that it’s not in middle of a pedestrian friendly, major city, And in California, you need a car to get from one place to another.”
“I suppose,” William sighed, then looked over to Xander, hopefully. “Might you possibly teach me?”
“You want me to…? Damn Spike! I mean, William. But I can’t. Not in this, it’s way too big, and there won’t be enough time, not to mention, learning on the highways, not such a good idea. I’m sure Buffy can teach you when you get back to California. Or maybe Clem,” Xander said, laughing. “On the other hand, better stick with Buffy.”
“Why? Doesn’t Clem drive?”
“Yeah, he drives. It’s just…oh never mind, you’ll see.”
“Hey guys, what’s up?” Buffy asked, coming up to the front.
“Just talking to William here about learning to drive.”
“Oh?” she asked, sitting down on William’s lap, looking at him.
“Yeah, I told him you’ll teach him, once you get back home. Isn’t that right, Buffy?”
“Sure,” she said smiling, “whenever he’s ready to learn.”
“Oh, and Buffy?”
“Yeah, Xander?”
“Get off William’s lap. If a cop sees you, he’ll pull me over. Unrestrained and all that.”
There was a joke in there somewhere, but she decided to let it go. She got up.
“How much longer?”
“About 2 hours.”
“You need anything Xander? A drink? Something to eat? A break?”
“No, I’m fine. Need to talk to Angela though, can you get her?”
“Sure, will do,” Buffy said, walking back.
“Well, I’ll move back so you can speak to your wife. Thank you for your advice, Xander. I’ll consider all that we talked about.”
“You’re welcome, William,” Xander said, smiling. This new and improved Spike was way easier to deal with than the old one.
A little more than an hour later, the RV crossed the Mississippi River, at the border of Illiniois and Missouri, and into the city of St. Louis. They all crowded around the windows looking at the city’s famous Gateway Arch. Willow had ‘googled’ some information about it.
Willow read to them, “The Gateway Arch was finished in 1965 and it says, ‘What stood before the world was a magnificent monument to Westward expansion designed to last 1,000 years.’ It’s made of stainless steel and stands 630 feet high. Oh, you can take a tram to the top from either the north or south sides. ‘On your way to the top using the south leg, you'll return to an era in the 1800s when the St. Louis riverfront was bustling with steamboats, fur traders, and merchants. On your way to the top using the north leg, you'll be transported back to 1965 when construction workers wedged the last triangular Arch section into place.’
Ooh, riverboat cruises on the Mississippi, too.”
“What’s a tram, daddy?” Alex asked.
“It’s like a little train. See that arch? There’s a tram that goes all the way to the top?”
“Really? Can we stop? I wanna go to the top! Please daddy!”
“See what you started,” Xander said, smiling back at Willow, “we can’t today. We have to get to our campground, then we’re going to see grandma and grandpa tomorrow. You want to see grandma and grandpa, don’t you?”
“Yessss, but I still want to ride the tram to the top of the arch!”
“Tell you what, we’ll do it on the way back home, okay? Promise!”
“Scout’s honor, daddy?” he asked holding up his ‘scout’ pledge fingers.
“Scout’s honor, Alex,” Xander replied, doing the same.
“Hmmm…Mark Twain, Louis Armstrong…” Willow continued. “Oh…Lewis and Clark started their 8000 mile expedition from here. Journeyed up the Missouri River, across the Rocky’s…down the Columbia…to the Pacific…specimens of plant, animal, mineral resources. Info on American Indian culture…enabled U.S. to claim the Oregon region, which includes Oregon, Washington, and Idaho. Impressive.”
Buffy sat down next to William on one of the couches, “What do you think?”
“It’s…sort of scary and exciting at the same time. The idea of the ‘gateway to the west.’ I used to read all about the prairie, buffalo, and of course, the Indians, when I was a young lad back in England. Read Lewis and Clark’s adventures, and the goldrush…goldrush,” he said getting a funny look on his face.
“Well, don’t think you’ll see any buffalo, probably not much in the way of open prairie anymore, either,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t go back to the last thing he’d said.
William sat there trying to remember something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. His head was beginning to hurt, and he wasn’t comfortable looking out on the big city. He laid his head back on the couch and closed his eyes.
“You alright?” Buffy asked.
“Little bit of a headache.”
“You want some aspirin?”
“No, I’ll be alright, just rest my eyes for a few minutes.”
“Okay,” she said, giving his hand a squeeze.
It took them another hour to get to the campground outside of Montgomery City. Lazyday Campground was set in a small country setting, in a beautiful, wooded location, away from all outside noise.
Xander signed in, and got their lot number and drove the RV to it’s spot. It was 3:00pm and they’d gone the first 450 miles or so of their journey.
Once stopped, Xander and Angela extended the overhanging shade off of the side of the RV, so there would be shade. Took out an outdoor grill, put out lawn chairs, and covered the picnic table that came with their site with a plastic cover.
Dawn and Willow went off to the campground’s little store for some charcoal, fluid, marshmallows, and things to make S’mores. Buffy and William helped Xander and Angela set up the 3-room tent that Xander’s family would spend the night, while Alex stood by the portable playpen watching Ann.
The campground boasted a swimming pool, groceries, video rental, club/game room, and a three-acre lake, and three ponds, all stocked.
Dawn and Willow returned, and along with Angela, the baby, and Buffy, decided they’d go to the swimming pool, before starting to get dinner ready.
“Buffy was going to ask William if he wanted to come along, when Xander announced, ““Okay, us men are going to go do some manly fishing, see if we can catch something for dinner. That okay?” he asked Angela.
She nodded.
“How about you, partner? Want to help daddy catch some fish?”
“Okay. Can I go swimming later then?”
“We’ll have to see how late it is, Alex. So you have to decide if you want to go swimming with mommy or fishing with daddy and William, if William wants to go,” he said, looking over at William, who nodded his assent.
Alex took a minute to think about it. “I’ll go fishing with you, Daddy. I can swim another time.”
“Good boy, Al Xan Xander said, smiling.
“William? You might want to put on some old clothes, instead of the ones you have on.”
“I don’t really have any old clothes. Everything is pretty new.”
“Wait, what about the ones with the grease on them? From last night? You could wear those,” Buffy reminded him. “I’ll go find them, I have to find my bathing suit, anyway.”
He nodded, “I’ll be right back, after I change,” he said to Xander.
“I’ll take Alex to the store and get the bait, then we’ll meet you back here in about 10 minutes.”
“Alright.”
William found Buffy in the bedroom going through the bag of dirty laundry, “Here they are,” she said, handing him the pants and shirt, he’d worn the night before.
Buffy closed and locked the door, and drew the curtains, before starting to take her clothes off. William was doing the same, when he glanced over at Buffy. She had just put on her bathing suit bottom, when he stopped what he was doing and stared at her, moved by her beauty. The naturalness that had developed between them, allowing her to undress in front of him without hesitation was just one of the wonderful turns his life had taken.
He smiled and reached out suddenly, pulling her into an embrace, and kissed her.
His smile was infectious, and she giggled, as she kissed him back. He sat down on the bed and pulled her over so that she was standing between his legs. He kissed her breasts, licked at her nipples, one hand on her waist, the other around her back.
Her hands moved to play in his hair, rub his neck, as she moaned softly, going from zero to fifty in seconds flat on the ‘lust-o-meter,’ as her knees begin to weaken, and her sex starting to throb in anticipation of his hands, his mouth, his cock.
“This isn’t fishing,” she teased, panting.
“Don’t want fishing, want you,” he said, as he raised his head, catching her mouth in a deep kiss.
“Want you, too,” she murmured, “but…”
Just then, they heard Alex outside the RV.
The both groaned.
“Later?” she asked.
William nodded, enthusiastically.
A few minutes later, William joined Xander and Alex outside the RV. Xander was sorting out his fishing poles, while Alex was busy trying to catch a minnow.
“Wanna see the little fishies?” he asked William.
“Certainly,” he said, coming over to kneel down next to Alex, “there’s lots of them.”
“Uh-huh. Wanna hold one?”
“Won’t it kill them?”
“Not if you don’t hold it too long,” Alex said, handing him one in the palm of his hand.
The minnow flopped around, while William and Alex looked at it, “It’s pretty. Let’s put it back now, though,” he said.
“Okay,” said Alex, catching the wiggling fish and putting it back into the bucket.
“We have worms, too. Big ones!” Alex said. “Want to see those?”
Before he could answer, Xander called, “Let’s go Alex, William!”
“Okay,” they answered.
“Here’s a fishing pole for you, William,” Xander said, handing him one, “and here’s yours, Alex.”
Alex grabbed his, “This is mine, my daddy bought it for me for my birthday last year!” he pry toy told William.
“It’s very nice, Alex. Your daddy is a nice man to buy you such a nice fishing pole.”
Alex nodded, “My daddy is a nice man!” he agreed, skipping ahead to hold Xander’s hand, after giving William a smile.
They walked about 1/8 of a mile to the lake. There was a wooden pier that was about 20’ x 6’ that they walked to the end of.
Xander helped Alex put a worm on his, then helped him cast.
William stood there watching Xander put a minnow on his, and made a slight face, which Xander caught.
“Worm, minnow, or chicken liver?” he asked.
“Chicken liver?” William asked, confused.
Xander explained that the crappies in the lake were most likely to go for the minnows, the catfish liked worms and chicken livers, and that trout could be caught with worms, or ‘flies’ if they were fishing with a ‘flyrod,’ which they didn’t have.
“So, you use different bait for the different kinds of fish?”
“That’s about it, but it’s not set in stone, just a general rule. Different diets for different types of fish. So, what’ll it be?”
“Um, worms for trout, I guess.”
“Good choice. As for eating, I much prefer trout to catfish,” Xander said, handing him the little bait pail full of worms.
William opened it up, and saw the long brown worms crawling about in the black dirt. Taking a deep breath, he pulled one out, then dropped it. Alex giggled. He tried again, and held it tighter this time.
Xander grabbed his hook on the line and handed it to him. Just hook him a couple of times, like this,” he said, doing one for himself on his hook.
William copied Xander, trying hard not to make a face at having to puncture the worm with the hook, and the worm guts that came out on his hand.XandXander laughed, “Here,” he said, handing him a rag.
“Thanks.”
Next, Xander showed him how to hold the pole and when to release the reel when casting.
After a couple of false starts, he got the hang of it.
“Didn’t your daddy ever teach you how to fish?” Alex asked, coming up next to William.
William shook his head, “My daddy didn’t fish, “he said, trying to remember his father’s face, “or if he did, he didn’t show me how.”
“What did your daddy do?” Alex asked.
“He was a solicitor, a lawyer. He used to help poor people in court,” he said.
“Oh,” Alex said, looking like deep in thought, “Where is he?”
“He’s not living anymore.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Alex. It was a long time ago.”
“Hey, think I got something,” Xander said, suddenly, as the fishing pole bent. He pulled up, then reeled in a 12” trout. “Hey, hey! Not a too bad start! Alex, get me the cooler.
“Here daddy.”
Xander put the fish into the cooler.
They stayed for about an hour. Each of them getting small bites and losing their bait, but not catching anything.
“Why don’t we try out one of those ponds?” Xander asked.
They tried the first pond and nothing was biting, then the second.
“Hey, Alex! You got one,” Xander said, watching the pole. “Okay, pull it up hard. That’s it, now reel it in.”
“Good job!” Xander said, as he reeled in a 7” crappie.
“I’m going to eat this one!” Alex said.
“I think I’ve got one, too,” William said, as Xander was helping Alex take his fish off the hook.
“Okay, do what I told Alex. Pull up hard, then reel it in.”
“Okay. Oh drats!” William said, as the line went slack.
“Lost it, huh?”
“Yes,” he said, looking sadly at the empty hook, “got my worm, though.
He pulled out another worm and put it on his hook. A few minutes later, he had his first fish, another trout, smaller than Xander’s, but still one to keep.
“Congratulations, William,” Xander said, “you caught your first fish!”
Just then Angela came up to join them.
“Mommy, mommy! I caught a crappie,” Alex said.
“You did? That’s wonderful!”
“Where’s Ann?” Xander asked.
“She’s laying down for a nap. Elizabeth is with her. Dawn and Willow are still at the pool.
“Can I go swimming now?”
Angela laughed, “That’s why I came. I found out they close the pool in an hour, so I wanted to know if Alex wanted to get in some swimming first.”
“You don’t want to fish anymore?” Xander asked.
Alex looked undecided.
“That’s alright. You go swimming. Maybe we’ll go fishing later again.”
“Okay,” Alex said, taking Angela’s hand.
“Tell Buffy that William caught a fish, too,” Xander said, looking over at William, who smiled at her.
“I will. I think she wanted me to check up on how that was going, too,” she said, winking at William.
“We’ll come back soon.”
“Okay, good luck boys!”
After she’d left, Xander suggested they try the third pond.
The last pond was farther away than the other two had been to each other, and was the smallest one. They walked along in silence until they got there.
Xander starting to cast his line, knocked into William, who had been squatting down next to him, getting a worm.
“Oh, sorry about that,” Xander said, “didn’t see you there; left side you know.”
“No, I’m sorry. I should have said something,” William said, then paused. “If you don’t mind my asking, how did you lose your eye?”
Xander turned to him, “You really don’t remember, do you?”
William looked at him and shook his head.
Xander sighed, thinking how he should put it, “This guy Caleb, he did it to me. You were there; you pushed him off me, before he could get my other one. Guess I should have thanked you back then.”
“Oh, my God!” William said, feeling sick at the thought of something so violent. Something he’d been involved in?
“There…there was a fight?”
“You could say that,” Xander said, darkly, trying hard to control his emotions over something he’d put behind him for the past 5 years.
“And I…I was in the fight?”
“Yeah, Spike, you were there. Fighting the good fight.”
William shook his head.
“Why were we fighting this…Caleb?” William asked. It was hard to imagine himself being in a fight, let alone in one where something so horrible had happened to Xander.
“Eh, you know. The normal kind of fight for Sunnydale, good vs. evil.”
Good vs. evil?
“I’m sorry. I don’t remember,” William said, pausing, “and I’m sorry…I’m sorry I wasn’t able to push him off you before…”
“It’s alright. You were trying to get Buffy out of there, while I was trying to get Kennedy and the others out of there.”
“Elizabeth? She was there? While there was a fight? She wasn’t hurt…was she?” William asked, his heart pounding. What kind of a man had he been? To have been somewhere with Elizabeth, while there was a fight? Kennedy, Willow’s bird? Others?
“Um, no. I guess not. Not more than…” he looked over at William, who had turned a sickly green color. He’d almost said, ‘not more than normal, being the slayer,’ but had caught himself in time. Xander sighed. “Not more than a tiny bit, from you pushing her out of the way. Don’t worry about it, William. It was a long time ago.”
“Xander? What did you mean by good vs. evil?”
“Nothing, William. Just rattling on,” Xander said, evasively. He looked at William who appeared to still be waiting for some sort of answer. “You know what I mean, good guys and bad guys; just the normal kinds of stuff. Let’s just say that Caleb was a big mouthed bastard and leave it at that.”
“Alright,” William said, after a pause, “I didn’t mean to…”
“No, don’t worry about it. I didn’t mean for you to get upset.”
William went back to putting a worm on his hook and casting. They fished in silence for a few minutes.
“You know, everybody talks ‘around’ me,” William said.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, that everybody talks, but when it comes to the past, especially my past, nobody really says anything. Like you're all trying to protect me."
“Hmm…well, you’ve been through a lot. Guess we just don't want you to worry about things that you can’t do anything about,” Xander answered.
“Xander? Can I ask you something?”
“Um, sure. What is it?”
“What did I do back in Sunnydale? What was I?”
“What do you mean?” Xander asked, dreading this conversation more and more by the second.
“I mean,” William said, keeping his eyes on his fishing pole, “What did I do? To make a living?”
Xander let out a breath, “I don’t know, think you did freelance work,” he answered.
William was about to ask what he meant, when all of a sudden he got a pull on his line, “Hey!”
“Got one? Good!” Xander said, relieved to veer away from the topic at hand to fishing instead.
They fished for another half-hour and each caught enough fish to make it a worthwhile dinner for them all. It had been the best pond yet.
William had decided to drop the subject, to which Xander had been grateful.
The girls were all sitting outside on lawn chairs when Xander and William returned.
“How was fishing?’ Dawn asked.
“Enough for dinner?” Willow asked.
“Good and yes, to answer your questions. Just dropping off these poles, then I’ll go over to the fish cleaning station and take care of these.”
“Want me to go with you?” William asked.
“If you want. You don’t have to, though, I got it covered.”
“Oh. Okay. If you’re sure.”
“Yeah, I’m good,” Xander said. He didn’t want any more awkward moments alone with William for now.
“Where’s Elizabeth?” William asked Dawn.
“Down at the bathrooms. She decided to take a shower before dinner.”
“Oh, okay,” William said, “I’ll be inside, then.”
“Okay, William,” Dawn said.
On the way down to the station, Xander ran into Buffy on the way back from her shower.
“Hey, Xander,” she said smiling, “how was fishing?”
“Not bad, not bad,” he answered, and told all all about their catches.
“Good. Where’s William?” she asked.
“Back at the RV. Listen, Buff, I got to tell you something.”
“What?” she asked, looking worried.
Xander proceeded to tell her about his conversation regarding his eye, the fight, and William’s questions.
“Oh God!” Buffy groaned.
“It’s not that bad, I deflected most of his questions, but it was getting real uncomfortable. You know…you have to tell him something one of these days. He’s not stupid. Neither was Spike. Now I know where, or rather who, he got if from. He knows we're talking around him, around what really happened, who he was, what he was, what our lives were like in Sunnydale.”
“Yeah, well, Xander, what should I do? Tell him he was a vampire that killed people for 100 years? But then went out and got a soul? Died saving the world, but then came back human again? How’s he going to digest all that information? You know what he’d do? I think he’d retreat so far into himself, that he would disappear. Either that, or run off. You didn’t see him when he was bad, after he was out of the hospital; didn’t see him shake all night in fear, cry…”
“I know, Buffy, but…”
“He’s still fragile, Xander,” Buffy said, eyes imploring him to understand. “You have no idea, of just how fragile he is inside. Do you have any idea how much that would hurt him?”
Xander nodded, “Yeah, I think I’ve got an idea. He got pretty upset when I let it slip that you were around during the fight. Thank God, I didn’t say that you were fighting; he probably would have fainted. Still, one day…”
“Yeah, maybe one day… What do you tell Angela about the past, speaking of talking around a subject? Does she know?”
“Of course not. I mean, she knows about all of you and high school, Sunnydale. I just don’t tell her anything about demons, vampires, werewolves, or witches,” he said, laughing.
“Well, that leaves out a huge percentage of what our lives were about,” Buffy agreed, laughing, too. TrueTrue. But I’m still not having to hide who Angela from Angela, like you are Spike from William.”
Buffy nodded and sighed, “I know. I just want to get him home. I just want him to be safe. And I just want us…it’s been so good…between us. I never thought...never thought I'd ever see him again, except in my dreams, never thought I'd have a chance. We'd have a chance," Buffy said, without finishing, knowing it would make Xander squirm to hear her say words of love and caring about Spike. What she'd wanted to say was that she never thought she'd have a chance in this lifetime again to get it right. With him. With Spike. Or William, if that was the incarnation he remained as.
Every moment she was without him now, even momentarily, made her uneasy, fearful. She knew her mind was being unreasonable. Stupid mind. Since the first time she saw him in the hospital up to now, she couldn't stop touching him when he was around, couldn't stop looking at him. Couldn’t still believe he was real.
To her, he was still a miracle, and that fact would never get old. She couldn't say this to Xander, to anybody. To say it, meant to admit that she was as vulnerable to the pain as he was, and she was still The Slayer, in her friend's eyes. And partly, in her own, too. At least, now that it came to dealing with the danger Spike had been in, and the threats that still lingered somewhere on the horizon, in spite of Willow’s protection spell. Somebody had to be strong, had to fight for...
A normal life? No, scratch that, she didn't quite know what to do with the one she'd been living for 5 years anyway, and she doubted any life with Spike or William would just be shades of normal. Just having a life, toge, th, that's what she wanted. 'Normal,' be damned!
Instead, she said to Xander, "I can’t…I don’t want…if I tell him, I’ll break his heart. His whole idea, of who he thinks he is, who he really is inside, will crumple. And he is a good man, he was before he died, and I don't just mean by Drusilla's hand, but be Sun Sunnydale...collapsed," Buffy said, pacing back and forth in front of Xander.
"I don't know what to do, if I don’t tell him, I’m lying to him. Fuck! Why can’t he just be happy? Why can’t he be happy, safe, whole? Why? Why do I have to make these choices? Why do I have to choose how to hurt him less? I don’t want to hurt him at all. Not anymore, not again,” Buffy said, looking at Xander with desperation in her eyes. "Didn't he already pay the price, Xander? Pay iin ain and suffering and his own death? Again? How fucking much does Spike have to pay? Does William?"
Xander flinched, her anguish coming out in language he wasn't used to hearing from her. He shook his head, “Or you? You forgot to mention that you've paid the price, too," Xander said. "I don’t know the answers to your questions, Buffy. You know I only want the best for you, and I know when the time comes, you’ll do what’s best. You always do. You'll help him through it. You are helping him. You've gotten him on his feet, and he's coping fairly well."
" My God, Buffy! Compared to what you helped him with in the past," he let out a soft whistle, "when he came back with his soul and was insane, when The First was messing with his head... this should be the easy part. Will be the easy part.”
“You really believe that? You’re not just saying that? Because believe me, I don’t always know what’s best. You don’t even know some of the mistakes I’ve made…”
“It doesn’t matter, Buffy. You don’t have to be perfect in order to do your best. Nobody expects that from you, not even William, only you expect that from you. That’s what I’m talking about,” he said, holding her gaze.
"Oh, and one more thing, I think, no, make that, I know that it’s all going to work out for you this time. For both you and Spike. Together," he said, nodding, conceding her choice.
“That means the world to me, Xander,” Buffy said.
“I know. Now, let me get going, or these fish are going to rot before I can clean them.”
“Clean away then. I’ll see you back there,” she said, giving him a warm hug first.
“Okay, Buffy.”
She met up with Angela who was coming back from swimming with Alex.
“Hi, Buffy. Are they boys back yet?”
“Yeah, I just ran into Xander, who’s off to clean the fish.”
“Guess he got enough to cook then, huh? That’s good. He usually cooks it too, so that means I don’t have to,” she winked.
When they arrived, Willow and Dawn were still sitting outside, Ann was in a little swing, between them.
“Hey guys,” Buffy said, “Where’s William?”
“He’s inside.”
“Okay, I’m gonna go check on him.”
Buffy walked to the back of the RV, and opened the door. William was lying on his side, his face away from her. She closed the door behind her and locked it, and lay down next to him, nuzzling up to his back, as she put her arm around him.
He’d been lying there, thinking about his conversation with Xander. He’d been in a fight, Xander had lost an eye, and Elizabeth had been there! Xander had been evasive about knowing what he, William, did for a living before. It was all, incomprehensible to him, his life, his memories, his past. And everybody talked in a careful, measured way, when it had anything to do with him.
Buffy felt her stomach tighten, at his lack of response. He always responded to her, even in his sleep, if she curled up next to him.
“What is it, William? What’s wrong?”
He didn’t answer her. He didn’t knhat hat was wrong himself.
“Please, William,” she said, getting up on her elbow, "talk to me."
“Huh? Elizabeth?" he asked, feigning just awakening, as he turned toward her, felt himself melt at the concern in her eyes.
“You were asleep? I didn’t think you were…oh, nevermind. You’re back,” she said, smiling softly at him and putting her hand on his face, caressing it. He closed his eyes, drawn to its attendant comfort, like a moth, to a flame.
“How was fishing?” she asked.
He opened his eyes, “Interesting, a bit of fun. Caught a few fish, but still would have rather been here, like this, with you,” he said, giving her a look that melted her, as his lips brushed against her softly.
Her eyes were moist when he pulled back to look at her. He tilted his head at her,
questioningly.
“What’s wrong?”
"Nothing,” she said, trying to smile, “I just missed you, William.”
He smiled at her, shaking his head, “I missed you, too, Elizabeth. Always miss you.”
He took her face in his hands and gently brought each part of it to his lips, her eyes, her forehead, her nose, her chin, once again, her mouth.
She moaned, as she kissed him back hard, pressing against him.
He returned it, and they wrestled for dominion in a kissing war, each trying to forget about everything but the moment.
“Now where were we?” William asked, pulling back a little, his hand going under her T-shirt, as a naughty little smile played at the corners of his mouth, “Before I went fishing…?”
END CHAPTER 66