So Damn Domestic

The Same Night. FPOV

“I love you too,” I tell her and give her another little kiss. She’s upset that I’m leaving, but she understands why I have to go. I need to bring this monster in. I need to know what he looks like. I need to look him in the eyes and see if there’s any humanity left inside of him. When the kiss ends I look into her eyes and silently promise her to bring this asshole down. I’m supposed to protect this family, and I haven’t been doing a very good job of it. I let go of her and walk over to Willow. She holds out her hands and I take them without question. I look into her eyes and I feel the air around us getting thicker. I can’t look away from her eyes, it’s like I have tunnel vision or I’m in a trance or something.


Then I feel like an electrical jolt just hit me in the chest, but I can’t move, and it doesn’t go away. It’s like a steady current passing from Red’s body to mine. The power keeps building, and building and I know something’s gotta give. There’s no way we can keeps this up without one of us getting killed or at least hurt. I can see the tiny drops of sweat sliding their way between Willow’s eyes. The firm look of concentration keeps me calm and I don’t panic, or try to pull away from her. In the background I hear something pop, and now I feel like I’m spinning. Very slowly, but still spinning and my stomach feels like it just dropped to my feet. The current flowing between us tightens around my chest like a rope and I can’t breathe. I have a feeling that Willow is doing this on purpose, making this experience as horrible as possible so I’ll never want to do it again.


The spinning suddenly stops, and my feet unexpectantly touch something solid and I fall down. I hear gasps and the sounds of chairs scraping across a wooden floor. People are crowding around me but I want some room to breathe. I can Willow telling them to back off, that I’ll be fine when I get some air, but her voice sounds muffled. Maybe ‘cause it sounds like my heart decided to relocate to my ears. God, that fuckin sucked. I’d rather take a plane back and feel jetlagged then go through that shit again. I slowly flutter my eyes open, and when my head stops feeling like it’s going to explode I keep ‘em open. From this angel I’d say I’m laying on the floor of Giles’ office, and from the smell of tea and scotch and I know I’m right. I start to sit up and that’s when the nausea comes back.


“Oh my God, are you alright? You have us totally freaking out over here,” an unfamiliar voice assaults my ears, and the pain causes me to wince hella fuckin loud. I get to my feet and then collapse in the big leather chair that Giles sits in. I guess he left or something ‘cause he’s not in the room anymore. Who is in the room are four girls that I’ve never seen before. They look like they’re freshmen, maybe sophomores, and probably not used to people just showing up like that. Well, they live on a hellmouth they should learn to expect the unexpected. The one problem with that little saying that no one has been able to explain to me is: if something is unexpected, then how can you expect it?


“I’ll be alright. Just gimme a few minutes a little pepto and I’ll be as good as new.” I look at the four slayers sitting on the other side of the desk and they all look a little freaked out. But they’ll be fine, the shock is already starting to wear off. “So, why are you four in Giles’ office at…” I look over at the clock and sigh a little bit. “Three in the morning?” What time was it when we left the house? How long did it take us to get here? Oh, wait. Three hour time difference between Lincoln and here. Forgot all about that. Before they can answer Giles comes runnin into the room with a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. He hands it to Red, and she takes a big swig of it before putting the cap back on and tossing it to me. While I down the entire fuckin bottle I watch Giles give me a disapproving look, and I highly doubt it’s for taking more then the recommended dose.


“You girls can go back to your rooms, but this is not going to be forgotten,” he says and motions for me to get up. I roll my eyes, toss the empty bottle in the trash and stand next to Willow. He sits down in his chair all dramatic like, and takes a sip of his tea. The four girls get up and leave the room, and look relieved. So they were in trouble, huh? Wonder what they did to get them in trouble at three in the morning? They were still in their pajamas for Christ sake. Oh well, not my problem. “You should go back to Lincoln, we’re handling the situation. There’s no need for you to get involved.” No need for me to get involved. When did Giles start smoking crack? I think we need to send him to rehab immediately, or at least hold an intervention.


“Were you even gonna tell us?” I ask and sit down in one of the empty chairs. “Girls are being slaughtered by some serial killing freak, and you didn’t think me and B would want to help out?” He takes another sip of his tea, then sets the cup down on the little saucer thingy. He takes off his glasses and starts cleaning them while he talks. Normally I think all of his little habits are kinda funny, and nice to see because it means that not everything in our lives has totally changed, but sometimes Giles annoys the hell outta me. Right now is one of those times.


“If the situation escalated and we couldn’t bring Ryder in on our own then I would have asked you for assistance. You and Buffy have made it perfectly clear that you want very little to do with the school and the goings on, on this hellmouth.” Oh fuck that. He is so not blaming this on us. He left us out of something important that we would want to know about. He knows that all he has to do is ask for help and we’ll drop whatever we’re doing and get on the first plane to Cleveland. We may not want to move here or ‘take an active roll’ like he wants us to, but there’s no fuckin way he’s gonna make me feel any guiltier about this shit.


“That’s bullshit!” I yell and slam my fist down on his desk. It cracks a little and his eyes narrow. Good, I’m glad his pissed. I hope this thing was an expensive as hell antique that can’t be found anywhere else in the world. “You know we care about the girls, that’s why Buffy came running when you needed her four years ago. Remember that? She left me, and our newborn daughter because your system was starting to fail. She came and cleaned up your mess because one girl was able to fuck it all up. Every time you’ve needed help we’ve been there, so don’t you dare act like this time would’ve been any different.” I suddenly feel very exhausted. I lean back against the cool leather of the chair and take in a deep breath.


“I didn’t mean to imply that you and Buffy don’t care about the girls. All I’m saying is that this situation is under control, and I didn’t want to bother you with something we have a handle on. We have four of the best out there now in the areas where Ryder has struck the most, and only the slayers trained enough to handle someone as dangerous as him will be leaving the grounds for any reason.” He stops talking and just looks into my eyes. We’re staring each other down, and I know I’m gonna win. Giles is used to doing stuff like this, but I’m not just some hardheaded teenager who thinks it isn’t fair she can’t go out on a Saturday night. I’m Faith, I always win the stare downs. He finally caves and I give myself an imaginary pat on the back.


“But if you feel like you can contribute instead of being at home helping your wife with your three children.” Jeez, go for the throat why don’t you? “Then I don’t see why you can’t lend a helping hand.” He opens up a drawer on his desk and pulls out a file. He opens it up and lays it out in front of me. I look down and see a picture of a girl that’s paper clipped to the folder. The paper it’s partially covering is some personal information on her. Ya know, name, age, hair color, eye color, height, names of her parents, her emergency contact information, stuff like that. Why did he give me this? “Her name is Hannah Moon. She’s a freshman, and arrived just before Christmas. She comes from a more troubled home then some of the other girls. She’s distant, a little…cold with her peers and teachers-”


“And you want me to talk to her because I’m from a broken home and maybe I can get her to open up?” I ask and he sighs at my attitude, but nods his head. “I can do that if you think it’ll help. But I want in on Ryder first.” He looks like he’s going to argue so I cut him off before he gets a word out. “He’s been stealing the girls’ slayer powers and brutally murdering them, and my daughter saw it every single time. Fuck yes this is personal, and I am going to help whether you want me to or not.” I close the folder and take it with me when I leave the room. I hope things around here haven’t changed since the last time I was here, or I might not be able to find what I’m looking for.


I walk down the halls until I pass the faculty housing area. I open the big wooden door that doesn’t have anything written on it, and I walk through. The door closes behind me with a loud slam and I walk down the dark hallway. It usually isn’t this dark at night, but some of the light bulbs need to be replaced. I walk down to the very end of the hallway and open the door on the right. The light hits my eyes and blinds me for a couple of seconds. Why do they keep these room so fucking bright? Anyway, I walk into the ‘crisis room’ where five other people are sitting at a table, going over what to do with Ryder when they bring him in. The people are all teachers, and have specialties in areas that are going to be needed when Ryder is caught.


“Didn’t expect Mr. Giles to pull out the big guns this early. Has something happened that we don’t know about?” Carolyn Bates, the head psychologist, asks and everyone instantly looks worried. I absently nod my head no, and walk further into the room. I look down on the stuff at the table. They’re maps of specific districts here in Cleveland, and there’s little red dots probably from a marker, and I can only assume that those dots represent where the bodies were found. I set the file down on the edge of the large wooden table and take a seat. I didn’t fully think this out and I’m not too sure what I want to do yet.


“No, nothing’s happened that I know of. Giles did a pretty good job of leaving me out of the loop.” I pull one of the maps closer to me and read the names of the streets. This is place is mostly industrial. Lots of warehouses and some of them are probably abandoned. “Is this were Holly was found?” I ask and look down at the little red dot. I don’t know who, but one of them says yes and they go quiet again. “Where are the girls now?” I look up at the faces looking back at me with lots of concern and they look a little reluctant to tell me. “Giles knows I’m here and he knows I’m helping out. See.” I hold up the file. “He gave this to me before I came here. So, what’s your plan?”


“The plan is to catch this monster before he kills again,” Chris Tinsdale, the head of the magical department, says and he has lots of anger in his voice. Not towards me or anything, but because this has been going on for almost a year and nobody knew it was a single person killing the girls and not demons. They couldn’t have known. The bodies were left in places where demons hunt a lot, and the organs were taken which suggests they were being taken for rituals. And the killings happened all over the city, not just one place, so that didn’t give off any signals that it was one thing doing the killing. Is that fact helping with my guilt? Fuck no. Because if I had done something sooner about Addy’s nightmares then we would have figured out what was going on a lot sooner, and maybe most of the girls would still be alive.


“We have four of the slayers who fought in ‘The Great Battle’ out looking for him. Willow put up a barrier around them so Ryder can’t perform the spell on them. They’re in these areas here.” He gets out of his chair and stands in front of a big white dry erase board and there’s a large map of Cleveland taped to it, there’s little red dots scattered all over the place, along with little blue ones. Four of the areas are circled with a black marker. “These are the areas where he’s killed the most. We’ve looked over all the information we have on him, and all of the murders he’s committed and there’s nothing that suggests a pattern. He could be anywhere, and if he isn’t caught tonight then tomorrow we’re going to send slayers to all of the areas he’s killed, and hopefully he won’t catch onto what we’re doing.”


I stare at the circle in the far right. That’s where most of the dots are. It’s a wooded area and probably where he buried most of the bodies. Why did he bury them? I don’t know, I guess I’ll have to ask when I bring him in. I look around on the other walls of the room and there are weapons everywhere. Whenever a team of slayers is put together to go on a mission they meet here or in one of the other ‘crisis rooms’ and then they head out. This section of the school has more weapons then anywhere else, and there’s enough to make up a small army. I stand up and walk by the two walls and look at every single weapon. There’s everything you can think of. Swords, crossbows, axes, hatches, stakes, javelins, knives, tranquilizer guns, and some things I don’t even know what they are, but they look pretty deadly.


“Are the girls out on foot?” I ask and grab a pair of the magically strengthened handcuffs and put ‘em in my back pocket. Part of one wall is nothing but different types of restraints that Willow made stronger. There’s ropes, chains, handcuffs, shackles, all different kinds, but I think handcuffs will work just fine. One of ‘em says yes and I smile a little bit. I already know what four girls they brought in. Kennedy, Rona, Vi and Amanda. Those are the four who are on call whenever there’s something big like this goin down. I haven’t seen Cordelia so Kennedy came here alone at the last minute. “Call ‘em, tell ‘em to come back. I’m bringing in Ryder and I don’t want anyone’s help out there, they’ll just get in my way. I’m not taking no for an answer so you might as well do it and get it over with.” I grab one of the more impressive knives off the wall and put it in it’s sheath and clip that to my belt.


I don’t wait for them to answer me or pick up the phone, I just leave. I walk out of the building and out to the garage. I walk in through the side door and flick on the light. Not all of the cars are kept in here. This is the ‘guest parking garage’. So the only things in here is two SUVs, a minivan, and Kennedy black Suzuki motorcycle. Cordelia refuses to ride on it because she thinks they’re too dangers, but Cordelia didn’t come with Kennedy so she brought this to get here faster. I smile a devilish little smile and take the keys off the hook. Normally no one is allowed out here expect for the owners of the cars, but I’m don’t really feel like following the rules right now. I push the little button that opens up the large door and walk over to the bike.


I the helmet off the handle bar and slip it on. It’s a perfect fit. I clip the little strap and slip onto the bike. I almost forgot what it’s like to sit on one of these it’s been so long since I’ve had one. I put in the key and start it up. The bike comes alive, and purrs between my legs and I remember exactly why I started riding in the first place. These things are better then any vibrator you can buy, almost better then sex itself. I turn on the headlight, kick up the kickstand, and gun it. I peel out, and I can smell the smoke behind me before the bike gains traction it needs, and it takes off. I am so getting one of these for my birthday, I don’t care what Buffy says, I miss having a bike to play with.


I go at a reasonable thirty mph until I get off the facility grounds, and then go the speed limit of the streets. No need getting pulled over when I’m carrying around a wicked huge knife and some handcuffs. ‘No officer I wasn’t about to go tie someone to a radiator in a motel room and cut them to shreds’. Yeah, ‘cause I’m sure he’ll believe me. I’m not going to do that, but I’m sure that’s what the cop will be thinking. I memorized the way to the woods back at the school so I know exactly where I’m going. As soon as I turn off the main road and onto the empty back roads I speed up until I’m going about eighty. I know it’s dangerous or whatever but I know what I’m doing. The roads aren’t wet, and I’m not emotionally impaired, so this time it’s safe.


I start to slow down when the trees get so thick it looks like there isn’t enough room to just walk into the woods. I pull over to the side of the road and get off the bike. I wheel it into the thick trees and turn it off. I put the key in my front pocket, and the helmet back on the handle bar. Hopefully, for my sake, it’ll be here when I get back. I start walking, I don’t know exactly where I’m going, but I got a gut instinct that I’m going the right way. I walk for what feels like forever, but I look down at my watch and push the little button to turn on the light and it’s only been ten minutes. I walk for another fifteen and I find what I’m looking for. It’s the real life version of what Addy and Red saw the first time Willow went into her dreams. There’s crime scene tape on the ground and a hole where the body was buried.


I stop when I see it. I don’t really know why I’m here, but I know this is the right place. I slipped that particular newspaper clipping into my pocket and the picture was taken from exactly where I’m standing, or really close to it. I put the article back and take a couple of steps forward. I feel like I’m…intruding as strange as that sounds. Like I shouldn’t be here, in the same place where a slayer was murdered, butchered, buried, and dug up. Even in death she didn’t have any peace, at least not at first. According to the article she left behind a fiancé and a three-year-old. The wedding was next month. Some people think I’m stupid because I never graduated high school, but I’m a really fast reader, always have been. And when I became a slayer my eyesight got way better and it just made it easier to memorize things.


“Interesting, isn’t it?” a voice asks, breaking the silence I was in. He’s been there the entire time. I knew he was there, and I’m sure he knows that I knew he was there. That’s probably why he didn’t attack. I look but he’s standing too far back in the dark for me to make out more then a silhouette. He has a slight British accent, and a nice voice. If we weren’t out in the middle of the woods, standing next to the spot where he murdered a young, defenseless woman I’d probably say it was soothing. “People have such a fascination with death. They think it’s immoral, such an atrocity, yet they’ll watch a two hour special on the crimes committed by the most infamous serial killers in America.” He walks closer and I don’t even blink. If he tries to use the spell I’ll kill him, and he can’t hurt me until he uses the spell so I’m safe for now.


“In a couple years when they have a special on you and they interview your neighbors what do you think they’ll say?” I ask and raise and eyebrow. “Will they tell the reporter how shocked they are because you seemed like such a sweet boy, and you were so normal?” He gets close enough for me to see him and I have to admit he’s even more handsome in person. He probably gets a lot of women. It’s a shame that someone that hot is a deranged lunatic. I’m sure if he wasn’t he’d be married to a gorgeous blonde and be making beautiful babies who’ll grow up to be models or movie stars or something.


“Maybe,” he says with a nice smiling. “One will probably complain how I was always borrowing his tools and never giving them back.” He leans up against a tree and lights a cigarette. The smoke swirls around in the air until it disappears. “So, you’re the slayer the father hated so much?” he asks as if we’re talking about the weather. It’s kind of creep how casual we’re being about all of this. I nod my head and I can feel his eyes on my body. He stops at my breasts and I subtly push them out a little more. He notices though, and chuckles a little before taking another drag. “Lucky for you.” I’m a little confused by that, I’ll admit.


“Why’s that?” I ask and lean against the nearest tree. I cross my arms over my chest and shake out my hair a little. I really want to just get this over with, but he wants to play, so I’ll go along with it for a few more minutes, or at least until he finishes his cigarette. Color me crazy but I feel like letting him do that. If this capture goes wrong I might end up killing him out of self defense, or on accident. If the man might die in a few minutes he should at least finish his cigarette.


“Because I don’t have to kill you,” he says and takes another drag. “You were naturally selected by the universe to become a slayer. You’re not one of the fakes.” He takes the last drag, drops the butt to the ground and stomps it out with the toe of his shoe. “Well, Faith, it was nice talking to you. Tell your friend Kennedy I said ‘see you soon’.” My blood starts to boil but I don’t charge at him. Over the years I’ve learned that it’s stupid to attack out of anger. So I wait until I’m calm and he turns around to walk away. I run at him and when I’m about ten feet away he turns around and holds out his hand and says some word in some language I don’t understand and a lighting bolt lookin thing flies at me. I jump outta the way but it hits the tip of my boot and I can smell the leather burn. Mother fucker, these boots are new.


“You honestly didn’t think it would be that easy, did you?” he chuckles again and smiles at me from where he’s standing. I feel a rock right next to my hand. I pick it up and quicker then the blink of an eye I throw it at him. The dumb ass doesn’t see it coming and it hits him right on the head and he drops to the ground. Well, that was very anticlimactic. Here I was thinking we were gonna have some huge battle and tear up half the forest and all it takes is a rock to bring this fucker down. I walk over to him very slowly. I’m standing on my toes, figuratively speaking, and ready to jump back if he makes any sudden movements. I kick him a couple of times, and pretty fuckin hard, just to make sure that he really is unconscious. I roll him over onto his stomach and handcuff him. I search him for weapons but I don’t find any. I guess tonight he didn’t plan on killing. I do find a cell phone and I use it to call Kennedy.


“Hello?” she sounds pretty fuckin skeptical. I am calling from the cell phone of a deranged serial murderer so I guess she should sound like that.


“Hey Ken, it’s Faith,” I tell her and scratch the back of my neck. “I’m in the wood off Baker Road where Megan O’Connor was found. I caught the prick that did it.” I pull out his pack of smokes and light one up. I pull the sweet nicotine into my lungs and almost moan at the feeling. I’ve need one of these for a long time now.


“But Willow said she brought you here by magic, how the hell did you get all the way out to Baker Road?” she sounds so fuckin confused, and wicked irritated because she already knows the answer, she just wants me to confirm it. I exhale and flick at the butt with my thumb and the ashes on the tip fall to the forest floor.


“One reason why I called you, I wanted to thank you for letting me borrow your bike. She rides like a dream.” I can almost hear the gasket in her mind explode. I smile and then take another drag while she has a fuckin hissy fit worthy of a three-year-old.


“I know she rides like a fuckin dream because I had her custom built! I spent an entire year’s salary on that bike, and I swear to God if she has any scratches or dents, or any marks at all I’m going to gut you starting at your scar!” Ouch, that was a little harsh. I laugh a little bit and all it does it make her even more pissed off. I’ve always loved making her mad. It’s so easy and surprisingly fun.


“Sorry toots, but you’ll have to get in line.” I laugh at the irritated sigh she lets out. I take another drag, drop the cigarette to the ground and stomp it out. It seems like such a shame to waste half a cigarette but I have more important things to worry about right now. “Look, the guy’s unconscious but he’ll probably be wakin up soon. I’ll be standing on the side of the road, so will you just come pick me up. I’ll drive the car back to the school so you can drive your bike.” She agrees with that plan and we say bye before hanging up. I put the phone back in Ryder’s pocket and I pick him up and toss him over my shoulder. “Well, shit head, lets get you back to the facility so we can figure out what to do with you.”


BPOV


So I got a call at seven o’ clock this morning from Faith telling me that she caught the bad guy. Ryder is now being held at the facility until Willow can get all of the magic out of his body and then they’re going to turn him over to the United States government and Ryder is going to be held in the same prison where Ethan Rayne is being kept. The downside to all of this is Faith won’t be back for a few days. She didn’t say when, all she said was ‘just a couple of days.’ I guess Giles want her to try and help some kid who isn’t doing so well at the school. I’m glad she’s trying to help, but at the same time I just want her home, you know?


I’m over at Dawn’s house right now helping her out with the boys. They’ve all finally gotten over whatever bug they had and Dawn has a bunch of housework to do. Come on, who wants to do chores when they’re sick and taking care of two sick babies? Nobody, that’s who. But I’m more then happy to do it. I have Emma watching Joseph so I can give my little nephews my full attention. I know that sounds kind of mean, but the twins aren’t exactly crawling yet, and I’m afraid that if I look away from a second then Joseph would crawl over to them and accidentally hurt one. He does love spending time with Emma. She can focus completely on him because she doesn’t have to be doing other things at the same time. Anyway, my nephews are just so damn cute. And their personalities are already very different.


Nick is probably the most affectionate seven-month-old I’ve ever seen. All he wants is to be in your arms and snuggled up against your shoulder. He’s tried cupping my breasts a couple of times, but he’s a baby and a boy that’s just something they do. He loves to play peek-a-boo and watch the jack in the box pop up over and over and over again. He can crawl a little bit but his belly doesn’t fully leave the ground. Physically he’s the bigger of the two, but only by like two pounds. He’s a little taller by about an inch, which I think is a little weird. I thought the first born out of twins is supposed to be the bigger one? Oh well, I guess it doesn’t matter. They’re both healthy and that’s all you can really hope for.


Now Alex he’s a little more laid back then Nick is. He isn’t as in your face. He likes to just sit back and watch what’s going on. He’ll let you give him affection, but when it gets to be too much he’ll whine until you put him down. His favorite toy is the blocks. He tries so hard to get them stacked just right, but he’s only seven months old so he can’t coordinate his arms that well to get them perfect. I think it’s a little sad that he’s so quiet. Ok, so I don’t think that’s sad, what’s sad is he’s so quiet and Nick is so attention hungry that it’s kind of easy to forget that Alex is there. But I make sure to pay attention to both of them equally. Physically he’s a little more developed then Nick is. He can crawl better and sit up for longer periods of time, and he can already pull himself to his feet in the crib.


All of this baby watching is making me think back to when Matthew was a little baby. Faith has really surprised me over the years, especially those first couple. I know this sounds horrible, but I kind of thought Faith might run out on us. That motherhood might be a little too overwhelming for her and she’d leave. It took Faith a while to be able to face a problem head on and not just run away, and I was really worried that she was going to revert back to her old self. But I think that was just from the pregnancy hormones. Deep down I knew she’d never leave me. It’s just amazing how happy she makes me. No one thought we were gonna last. Everyone kept telling me that she was going to break my heart, but after we were together for an entire year, and we moved into together they backed off a lot.


“Now, Nick, it’s not nice to pull your brother’s hair,” I tell him and grab onto his wrist. I guess Alex has a toy that Nick wants to play with and he isn’t willing to give it up. He tries to pull his hair again. “No.” My tone is firm but not too harsh. I pull him away from the situation and give him a different toy instead. He gets distracted with it and forgets all about whatever toy Alex is playing with. They are just so damn cute. Especially their little poofy Afros. It’s getting a little harder to tell them apart, but I can because I’m around them so much. But for strangers these boys look exactly the same. I never really thought about it before but it really must suck to be an identical twin.


“Hey, Buffy, can you come help me with this?” I hear Dawn yell from upstairs. This house is frickin huge. I can of regret not moving into it and giving her my house. It’s two story, four bedrooms, three bathrooms, the kitchen has everything a person could ever want when it comes to cook where, and her pool and way bigger then ours.


“Coming!” I call back. I look down at the boys and they’re still playing like nothing just happened. “Ok, I’ll be right back, you two don’t move ok?” I get up and set over the baby gate and head towards the stairs. When Dawn saw that we had gated off the living room so we could study without having to keep too close of an eye on Joseph she thought it was a great idea and gated off a little section of her living room. Hers is more like the playpen from the Rugrats though. It isn’t the entire living room, just a small space. Anyway, I go upstairs and stop at the landing. I have no idea where she is. “Marco!” I can almost feel her irritation grow.


“I’m in my bedroom!” Well she’s not any fun. I go into her bedroom and instantly see the problem. She was vacuuming and can’t move the settle could of the way. I only know it’s called a settle because when I called it a little couch she got really pissed off at me and lectured me on the difference between a settle and a couch. I take a good look at my sister and I really don’t like what I see. She has dark circles under her eyes, she’s lost way too much weight, and the overall vibe she gives off on an everyday basis is depression. It’s been seven months and she still hasn’t gotten over Kyle. He’s never tried to get a hold of her or anything. She ended up throwing out all of the stuff he didn’t take with him when he packed his bags. I know she still has all of his pictures, but she doesn’t keep them out. They’re in her closet I think.


“So, you need help moving the little couch?” I ask and walk further into the room. The weight loss was mostly from her being sick. She couldn’t keep anything down but water. She’s gained back a pound or two but she’s far from healthy. The other day Faith even came over and cooked her a big meal. Nothing too harsh, mostly some soups and soft breads, and things that wouldn’t be hard on her stomach. Dawn wolfed most of it down and the boys had the rest. Faith made them their own soups, but when they finished with those they were whining for more. I pick up the little couch and hold it while she vacuums the floor and when she’s done I put it back exactly where it was ‘cause I know she’ll freak out. She’s very strict about her furniture.


“You should take a break. You’ve been working for like two hours now. Come on, I’ll make some coffee or something.” She nods her head and we both go downstairs. She sits in the living room with the boys and I bring her a nice hot mug of coffee. I sit down next to her on the couch and we watch the boys play while we wait for our coffee to cool down enough to drink it without getting third degree burns. “So, Dawnie, how have you been? I mean really. No saying that you’re fine because I know you’re not.” She sighs and shifts around a little bit so she’s facing me a little more. She doesn’t look at me though, she looks down in her mug.


“It’s been hard. Really hard. And I miss him so much. I know that I need to move on but we were together for years. We were going to get married, and start a family. You don’t just get over that. I know it’s been seven months but it doesn’t seem like it. Time has just flown by so fast.” I know what she means. I take a sip of my coffee and she does the same. “It’s getting better though. I can finally make it an entire day without thinking about him. So that’s good, right?” She looks up at me with a desperate look in her eyes. I smile a little bit just to reassure her, and gently rub her on the arm.


“That’s great, sweetheart. I know you don’t want to forget him entirely, he was the love of your life, but it’ll make things easier when you stop thinking about him all the time.” I gently run my fingers through her long hair and she sighs a little bit. I know she’s probably going to get irritated by my next question but I have to ask it. I’m Buffy, I can’t just ignore a question when I have one in my head. “Have you decided whether or not you’re going to tell Michael about the boys?” She looks away from me again and I try not to sigh. “I don’t mean to be harsh, but I know you were putting it off in case Kyle came back, but sweetie, Kyle isn’t coming back. And it isn’t fair that Michael has these two beautiful baby boys and doesn’t even know about them.” She nods her head a little bit and takes another sip from her mug.


“I know. That’s why I’m going to call him soon. I’ll have to look around on the Internet or something to get a phone number, and I might need Willow to do the hacker thing if I can’t find it, but I want to tell him. He’s missed out on so much.” She looks over at her boys as they fight over a toy. I can’t help but roll my eyes. “I don’t want him to miss their first birthday. It’s going to be coming up soon.” Five months may seen like a long time, but it flies, trust me when I say it does. And I’m really glad she’s finally decided to tell him. He has a right to know, and I know she doesn’t want or need his money, but there are other ways he can help out. Every child needs a male role model in their life, and if Michael is still the same great guy that Dawn claims he is then he sounds like the perfect one. Too many kids are growing up without their dads, and it’s really sad.


“Hey Buffy?” she asks in kind of a shy tone. She wants to ask a question but she isn’t sure what my reaction is going to be. I take a sip of coffee and let out a little ‘hmmm?’ and she shifts around again. “Do you ever wonder where dad is? Like if he’s still living in Spain, or if he’s alive at all?” See what I mean? I’m very surprised that Dawn didn’t become a serial dater in high school because of the lack of a father figure. Then again, she had Xander to look up to, and Spike to look out for her, so I guess that made up for it a little. I know I need to be honest with her on this one though, even though it hurts to think about it.


“All the time.” We go quiet and just focus on the boys for a while. We’re both too lost in our own thoughts now to carry on a conversation. I do wonder about my dad a lot. One of the big things that I always think about is what would life be like now if he and my mother never got divorced? But I know how it would have turned out. The vampires would be herding up the people like cattle and putting them on a conveyor belt. If my parents never split up then we never would have moved to Sunnydale and the Master would have taken over. So part of me is a little glad that they split. Not only because I was able to stop the Master, but because when we moved the constant fighting between my mom and my dad stopped. But at the same time I just want to curl up in my daddy’s arms and have him tell me that he loves me even if it is a lie.


“Wanna help me feed the boys?” Dawn asks and puts her mug on the coffee table. I nod my head and we get and each grab a baby and go into the kitchen. We lighten our moods so they won’t pick up on them and get upset. Besides, it’s really hard to be depressed when you have one of those cute faces smiling at you. I put Alex in his highchair and Dawn does the same and then goes over to the pantry. She gets two jars of the Gerber baby foot and two spoons and hands me the ones I’ll be using today. Lets see, today Alex will be enjoying the taste of bananas. Good, nothing green. I hate the green baby food. It makes me gag whenever I feed it any baby, even mine. Especially mine because I have to clean it up afterwards.


Faith thinks it’s just so hilarious that I’m like that. The color doesn’t bother her at all. God I miss her so much. I want her to hurry up with whatever it is she’s doing and come home. I want her to hold me when we fall asleep, I want her to tell me that she loves me and she thinks I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. I just want her home. I like to think of myself as independent and I am. I can do things on my own, I’m not helpless or anything. If a job needs to be done then I can do it. But I miss my wife, and I never thought I’d ever miss her this much for just being gone for twenty-four hours. What has that woman done to me?


“Thinking about Faith again?” Dawn asks with a little smile on her face and some mischief in her tone. “Whenever you think about her you always sigh one of those ‘she’s just so dreamy’ type of sighs. You’re worst then a school girl with a crush.” I can’t believe she just said that. Alright, she started this, so I might as well finish it. I scoop up some more of the light colored food and carefully put it in Alex’s mouth. He closes his mouth around it and I pull it out and he lets out a long ‘mmmmmmm’. He is just the cutest little thing.


“Oh you mean like how you used to be with Xander?” I ask and she goes quiet. She’s pretending to ignore me. “I remember when I was trying to convince Mom to let me go patrol and you kept yelling that you didn’t need a babysitter-”


“Which I so didn’t.”


“-and when I said that Xander could watch you, you agreed to it. And what was with that dress?” I give Alex the last of what’s in the jar and give him the spoon to play with. Nick is a much slower eater then Alex is, which is a little weird considering Nick is the bigger of the two.


“I was trying to get him to notice me. I figured if I showed off my legs he’d finally see me as something more then just a kid.” I can go some many places with that sentence but she’s my little sister so I think I’ll just go with the safest one.


“You were fourteen, he was twenty. There’s no way he was going to notice you as anything more then a kid. You could have marched around the house naked and he would have just covered his eyes and told you to put some clothes on.” At least I hope so. Ok, Buffy, lets not go there because you’re just going to get yourself worked up and then be mad at Xander for something he didn’t even do.


“I don’t know, there were a couple of times I caught him looking.” She gets an evil little smile on her face and I feel my neck start to burn. Xander scammed on my baby sister when she was only fourteen? “I mean, it was when he dropped something on the ground and his eyes were down there anyway, and I subtly moved just to get his attention, but yeah, he looked.” Oh, that’s completely different. “Besides, he was just the junior high crush. I knew I wanted to be with him, but it was innocent. Trust me when I say you don’t even want to know all the things I thought about when I started crushing on Spike.” My eyes go wide and I’m in a little bit of shock.


“Ok, lets not go there.” And now it’s time to get her back. “Besides, whatever you thought of we probably did it, and so much kinkier.” Now it’s her turn to choke on nothing and get all embarrassed. But it’s true, me and Spike were pretty freaky when it came to the sex. But I don’t wanna think about that at all. It’s so far back in the past that it doesn’t even matter anymore. I’ve been with Faith forever now, and I’m very happy with our sex life. I don’t need the weird kinky stuff with her because it’s more then empty, meaningless sex. Ok, now I really can’t wait for her to get home. She is so going to love her welcome home present, that is a guarantee.