ONE NORMAL LIFE / TWO EXTRAORDINARY LIVES

CHAPTER 62 – I THANK GOD FOR HER


Had Buffy made it to the dresser and opened William’s notebook, this is what she would have read:


24 June 2008
6:00pm

My love has left me for the day. I fear it is to see an old boyfriend, although Dawn has told me otherwise. Still, I am jealous of this person who has claimed her attentions.

Dawn told me that I have been roommates twice with this man, Xander. And yet, she says that it was because he was doing it for the sake of Elizabeth. If he were interested in her, would he have done this? Let a possible suitor or boyfriend stay with him? I don’t know how long ago this was. I get the feeling that there was no true friendship between us.

I have so many unanswered questions still. Questions that I fear to ask; fear to hear the answers to. Elizabeth, Willow, and Dawn, they talk to me as if I was normal, as if there was nothing unusual about a man of 2008, referring to things from over 100 years ago. I try not to, because then, they pretend, for my sake, I suppose. I don’t understand any of this.

They all know me, but I don’t know me, and they all seem reluctant to tell me anything about myself. I can only guess that whatever I was before, was.....horrid. But then, if it were, if I were, why would they bother with being my friend, now? If this isn’t the case, why don’t they just come out and say, “Wim, ym, you used to be a teacher, a writer, a clerk…something…” Why do they all protect me from…me?

The only constant in my life is my love for Elizabeth. She must have been sent by the Gods for my salvation, because, without her by my side, in my arms every nigh, I fear I would lose what little mind I have. She is my light. She is my everythin

21June 2008
3:00pm

My heart is mostly joyous right now, watching my love swim with Dawn right now.

I say mostly, because of the events over the past two days.

One thing I can truly say is that I am a man now! And being one, I must learn all I can about women. No. About one woman. Elizabeth.

This morning was glorious, as she and I made love, once more. After yesterday, I wasn’t so sure that would ever happen again.

She left me yesterday and I didn’t think I should ever see her again. Or if I did, that she would talk to me. We had our first fight and it was my fault. I should have been so grateful for her love that I should just shut up and not ask for anything more, yet I did. I asked her to be mine, forever.

She ran.

I can’t say that I blame her. I’d left her before, for 5 years, and now she’s scared. I’ve obviously hurt her before

How could I have left her? I vow, I shall spend the rest of my life making it up to her, so that she is never hurt again.

Even if she refuses to become my wife.

If she hadn’t come back…I don’t think I could havre ire it, a life without her. I have no life that I can even remember to return to. My family is dead, according to her, and I have no friends that have been mentioned, save one, a man named Clem.


20 June 2008
1:00pm

Why? How could I have been so stupid? Blathering about, chasing her away. A weight of 10 stones is on my chest now; I don’tl I l I shall breath again, until she returns.

20 June 2008
3:15pm

Again and again the words replay themselves in my mind. How could I have said what I said to her, about ‘casual?’ If she comes back, I shall throw myself at her feet and beg her forgiveness.

20 June 2008
5:45pm

I’m so alone.

20 June 2008
8:45pm

They have left me in the cabin and the feeling is of utter desolation. I have to get out, if she does not come back. I can’t stay here and wait to see the inevitab The There is no home for me without her…


19 June 2008
7:00pm

Tomorrow Elizabeth is taking me into town for a haircut. I am not looking forward to this, to leaving the warmth of the cabin, the safety of it, but I have promised this to her, and so I must.

Every night I hold her, she holds me. Every moment is more glorious than the last one. I can’t wait until night comes, to hold her, kiss her lips, feel her body aside mine, atop mine. I feel I should die from wanting her soon.

Sun and Stars
She is to me
That and more
Life
Love
Breath
Joy
Beauty Eternal


18 June 2008
5:00pm

I fear I’ve turned into what they call a ‘TV addict,’ that is to say, I enjoy the TV a bit too much. I guess with TV, DVD’s, and the Internet, people just don’t find the time to read books as much anymore. Luckily, Willow and Dawn are not like that. As I am not. But must watch to not get ‘addicted’ to the ‘idiot boxes.’ Elizabeth seems somewhere in between. She seems to enjoy some TV, some Internet, and some books.

I think mostly though, she watches me.

And I would rather watch her than anything else, too.

17 June 2008
4:30pm

I’ve decided I like the beach. It’s quite nice here and not nearly as cold as I remember the waters in The Lake District, as having been.

I will do anything I can to please Elizabeth. If she wanted me to run naked in the snow in front of the queen’s carriage, I would do that. Not that she would.

Alas, it’s not even Queen Victoria anymore.

I’ve become quite the expert since yesterday at getting up on, and not falling off of a raft. Even begun to enjoy (rather than being nauseated by) the waves as they come rolling under us, caused by extremely loud and fast ‘personal watercraft’ or boats. Elizabeth is quite fond of the sensation for some reason.
She likes me to place my hand on her stomach, quite low, when the boat goes by. Today, she placed her hand on my stomach, as her eyes sparkled in a teasing way. It was…um…quite nice.


16 June 2008
6:30pm

Elizabeth talked me into going to the beach with her today. I was quite embarrassed to be seen in so little attire, even if ‘everyone’ else is.

However, after walking up to me in her ‘bikini’ and kissing me…well, I forgot all about my own modesty as I tramped after her like the puppy dog that I feel I am. the the beach was quite nice, the water lovely, and when she locked her legs around me in the water. Oh, I am putty in her hands. And legs.

I don’t know how mucre Ire I can stand of only kissing her, having her so near, feeling her heat so near me. Part of me is ashamed that I can not control myself better than any common animal. Yet, God made us to fit one another, to be pieces of the puzzle. To fit. How can that be wrong, then? To fit into her, like one puzzle piece into another? Surely, not!


15 June 2008
8:30pm

I feel like Jules Verne’s character. I have so much to learn. How can I have forgotten this world? Is this my world? Or did I come from another time? Surely not, for no man lives for over 150+ years! Yet it is not, only what I don’t remember, but what I do.

I have been reading the books on inventions that Willow has so kindly purchased for me. I am in complete awe of the marvels that man could not even conceive of back in…what I remember.

I have looked at the marvels of the ‘computer’ and the ‘Internet.’ Imagine, music coming out of a machine like this. Machine. So many machines. And TV? Pictures, stories, history, so many things, so very, very many images…

At least some things seem timeless. Nature and love. The things that make a heart glad, they appear to still be timeless.

I have learned so many things. And I have learned to use a grill. Very much like the stove I remember, only outside. Still uses a form of coal. Inside, it’s a much larger one, using ‘electricity.’ Lights, not candles. Another thing I do not recall from any of my memories.

Elizabeth. She’s amazing.

Everytime she looks at me, touches me, kisses me. Me! I almost can forget that I don’t remember her, except from a few days ago. How can this be? It seems like a terrible crime, that I should not remember the face of, the comforting embrace of the woman behind my salvation. Elizabeth.

So dark, so empty, so hopeless; was my world only a couple of days ago.

And then she came into it.

Light, full, hopeful, is my world now.

Words fail me, what she has meant to me. Means to me. Words cannot express; are not enough.

I thank God for her.

Elizabeth.

She is my home.

END CHAPTER 62