That Could've Been Me

Chapter Six: Sweet Sixteen

Patrol was relatively uneventful. Buffy sighed. Of course, after fighting a town full of zombies, a regular patrol might seem a little tame. Faith was still talking about that night.

“…all I ever fought in Boston was vampires. Boring ol’ vampires. Even Kakistos was a vamp…”

She chattered on into the night. Buffy had gotten used to the steady monologue that was Faith. It was kinda cute, actually. Not that she’d ever admit that to anyone. She made a big show of rolling her eyes. She added some biting cynicism for good measure, but all Faith had to do was gaze at her with those fox-bright, hero-worshipping eyes and Buffy would melt. She would laugh and shake her head and call her “cutie” or “green” or even “beautiful.”

“…and then you jammed that shovel into her head. Wicked gross, but way cool!”

“I know, Rookie. I was there, remember?”

Faith was orbiting Buffy like a bounding moon as they walked. “Willow’s way excited about my birthday party. And I know I sound like some big, huge dork, but I’m excited, too. I mean, I wasn’t sure I’d make it to sixteen.”

“You might not if I strangle you in the next five minutes,” bit out Buffy.

Faith laughed, unfazed by Buffy’s exasperated tone. They did this practically every night. Chatter, snark, chatter, snark. It had become routine.

When the vamp cramps came, Faith went silent and Buffy muttered, “Oh thank God. Vampires.” The one advantage of Faith’s adolescent, girly chatter: not a single vampire suspected they were about to attack and try to eat two slayers. She was the perfect bait. Cheerful, young, pretty, delectable.

The five vampires had no idea what hit them. By the time the last one realized the dust of his cohorts had yet to settle upon the ground, Faith had neatly placed a stake in his non-beating heart.

His last word was, “Damn.”

“‘Damn’ is right,” said Buffy with a smile. “I think all the sucky fighters from Boston moved here.”

“Yeah. Should we pack it in for the night? Willow promised to help me with my biology homework.”

Buffy gave her a look. “You do your homework?”

“Well, yeah. Don’t you?”

“Pff!” she scoffed. “Why the hell would I waste time with that shit?”

“Don’t you want to go to college?”

Buffy stared at Faith, puzzled. “I’m a slayer. What am I gonna do with college? Learn a trade? I’m destined to fight evil and party because I’m gonna die young.”

“Don’t say that, Buffy.” Faith sounded uneasy. “You’re probably the best slayer that’s ever been. How many times have you saved the world already?”

“I’ve also died once already. I’m livin’ on borrowed time, Sugar. I’m gonna make the most of it. The only reason I go to that stupid high school is ‘cause the Hellmouth is in the library. Which is fitting, I think.”

Faith snorted a little laugh. “Now you’re being depressing. I’m not gonna let you do that at my birthday party.”

“What makes you think I’m even gonna go to your party?” At Faith’s crestfallen look, Buffy laughed. “I’m just messin’ with you, Faith,” she said. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Oh man,” said Faith with her hand over her heart. “You really had me goin’ there for a second. That was mean!”

“It’s not my fault you’re such a sucker,” chuckled Buffy.

“I’m not a sucker, I’m young and impressionable. And you should stop trying to take advantage of me.”

“Oh honey, when I take advantage of you, you won’t want me to stop.” This came out of Buffy’s mouth before she could stop it.

Faith’s eyes got darker and her cheeks flushed. She never knew what to make of Buffy’s racy comments. They made her cringe with embarrassment as her stomach somersaulted.

Buffy glanced sidelong at the young slayer. “Maybe we should head home,” she said, hoping to ease the tension.

Faith nodded and they made their way back to Giles’ without further incident or conversation.

Willow was there waiting for Faith. The two had become fast friends as they bonded over school. Willow loved to tutor. And Faith, who was smart but no scholar, appreciated Willow’s willingness to help her keep her grades up.

Buffy, true to form, didn’t give a shit what her grades were. Giles had managed to get her back in school, much to her irritation, by going to the school board over Snyder’s head.

“Do you wanna join us, Buffy?” Faith asked, hoping to include her prickly new friend.

Buffy glanced at Willow and bit back a sarcastic reply. “No thanks. You two have your fun.” She escaped into the kitchen to grab a snack.

Faith looked at Willow, disappointment showing clearly on her young face. Willow shrugged with a ‘What can you do?’ look on her face. The two girls sat down at the kitchen table to “study.”

“So,” asked Willow, giving Faith a sly glance. “Are you gonna invite Scott to your party?”

Faith’s eyes got big and scared. “Scott Hope? I don’t know. Do you think he’ll come?”

“Are you kidding? He’s totally into you! He always comes to find you during lunch. Plus, he’s funny.”

Faith looked torn.

“C’mon,” goaded Willow. “It’ll be the perfect icebreaker.”

Faith relented. “Alright. Fine. I’ll invite him.”

“Yay! I made The Slayer succumb to peer pressure. I can feel myself getting cooler by the minute.”

Buffy peered around the doorway. “That’s loud and enthusiastic even for you Willow. What are you studying? Orgasm 101?”

Willow flushed and said, “Faith’s gonna invite Scott Hope to her party.”

“That nancy-boy?”

“C’mon, Buffy,” said Faith, “don’t be mean. Scott’s a nice guy.”

“And he’s easy on the eyes and has a good sense of humor,” Willow piped in.

“Yeah, but how is he in the sack?” asked Buffy with a leer and then ducked back into the kitchen.

Faith rolled her eyes. “I’ll worry about that when we’re engaged.”

“You wait that long to give it up, there won’t be any engagement,” Buffy called from the kitchen as she finished making her sandwich.

“Not all guys are dogs,” Faith shouted back.

“Yes they are,” answered Buffy, walking out to the table to join the discussion. “Every last one of them. Even the nicest guys are dogs.” She paused to take a bite of her sandwich. “Even Oz.”

“Now that’s not fair!” protested Willow. “Just because he changes three days a month doesn’t make him a dog. Oz is very respectful of me and always has been.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” said Buffy sagely, “Oz is a great guy. But he is a guy. And all guys are dogs. When he starts sniffin’ around Lassie, don’t come cryin’ to me.” She grinned as she watched Willow seethe and Faith roll her eyes.

Faith offered a respite from Buffy’s gleeful goading. “Willow? Could we start with algebra? That’s always the hardest for me.”

Buffy’s eyes widened in panic. “That’s my cue.” She got up from the table. “I’ll see you guys later.” She grabbed her sandwich and made a quick exit.

Willow watched her leave with relief showing clearly on her face. “Ooohh! She just gets me so mad sometimes!” she complained.

Faith smirked. “That’s why she does it, y’know. To get a rise out of you.”

“Well she’s had two years of practice,” said Willow wryly.

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Faith stood in the hall of Sunnydale High and nervously shifted from foot to foot as she clutched her books to her chest. Vampires trembled in her wake, so why was it so hard to talk to boys? Scott, unaware of the scrutiny he was being paid, rummaged around in his locker. Huffing out a sigh, Faith walked over to him and cleared her throat.

He turned to see Faith’s big, gorgeous eyes smiling at him. As always, the pretty brunette made his heart race and his neck hot. “Faith,” he said with a genuine smile. “In the neighborhood?”

“Yes…I mean, no.” She shook her head and blushed a little at her verbal flip flop. “I mean, I came here to ask you something.” She took a steadying breath. “I’m having a birthday party this Friday. Would you like to come?”

“Really? Yeah, I’d love to.”

Faith breathed a small sigh of relief. “Great.”

The two teenagers stood awkwardly for a few moments, searching for something to say.

Finally, “How old are you gonna be?”

“Sixteen.”

“Really? You seem more older, more mature. I mean, I know you’re a junior. I just thought…” he cringed visibly as he realized what he was implying.

Faith finished for him. “You thought I was older but stupid?”

He blushed to the tips of his ears. “No!” he said hurriedly. “I know you’re not…I mean…,” he trailed off, defeated. Hanging his head he said, “Would you happen to have a crowbar, or something? I need to get my foot out of my mouth.”

Faith looked at him, an eyebrow raised. “I don’t know if the one I have is big enough. You’ve got it wedged in there pretty tightly.”

The two teens laughed, one embarrassed, one amused. “Well, if the offer still stands, I’d still like to go to your party,” said Scott hopefully.

“Absolutely,” said Faith. They exchanged details and information and went their separate ways.

Buffy was watching from afar. “Pantywaist,” she muttered as Scott made his way to his next class.

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Buffy walked up to the front door of Giles’ flat. Loud bass was pounding through the walls and windows. *Hm. I’m glad Oz is the DJ. The music’s actually good.*

With two bags of ice in one hand, she opened the door with her other hand. The party was still going strong. She brought the ice to the kitchen. Maggie, who had returned from Boston the night before, tossed a “Thank you, Buffy” over her shoulder as she bustled about fixing various plates and bowls of junk food.

Faith told Oz to bring the Dingoes and Cordelia brought some of her friends. This made for an interesting mix of kids. Buffy was actually enjoying herself. The ice run was still a welcome temporary relief. Mostly because she was tired of watching Scott and Faith dancing together.

It was, however, fun watching the Dingoes try to make time with Cordy’s cheerleader friends. It got even more fun when a couple of the Dingoes actually scored. Devon had Harmony pressed up against the wall in a dark corner.

Maggie spotted the teens as she peeked out of the kitchen. She sighed and said, “Alright you two. Don’t make me get the hose.”

Buffy smirked as the embarrassed smoochers broke apart. The smirk faded when she saw Faith and Scott walk out the front door together. She was tempted to follow them but stayed stubbornly in her seat on the couch.

Willow flopped down next to her. “Faith and Scott seem to be getting along,” she said smugly, completely not noticing Buffy’s jaw clench. Willow chattered for a while, extolling the many qualities of Saint Scott. Buffy finally couldn’t take it and mumbled something about helping Maggie in the kitchen and made her escape.

“Hello Buffy,” said the single mom. She seemed to be in her element as she bustled about.

“Do you need any help?” Buffy asked.

“You’re kidding, right?” asked Maggie, incredulous. “There’s a party going on with lots of loud music and food and you want to help me in the kitchen?”

Buffy waved her hand dismissively. “This party’s not really my kinda thing.” She sat down at the table. “Cordy’s cheerleader friends and I agree to disagree. The Dingoes are cool but they’ve been spending all their time trying to get their hands up the cheerleaders’ skirts.” Buffy smiled at the older woman. “And you refuse to let us have any booze at this shindig.”

“I know,” Maggie smiled back. “I’m such a stick in the mud.” She put the finishing touch on a platter of goodies. “Why don’t you go spend some time with Faith? I know you’ve got something in common with her.”

“Nah. We’ll be spending enough time together when we patrol tonight.

“So Giles isn’t giving you two the night off?”

“Not just Giles. Trick is still skulking around. We all sorta decided that a short patrol couldn’t hurt.”

“Where is my darling girl? Excuse me. Young woman.”

“She’s outside with Scott.”

“Hmm,” said mom, oh so casually. “I probably should not be the one to check on them,” she said thoughtfully.

“Well, it wouldn’t score you any cool mom points,” offered Buffy. “If it’s any consolation, she is a slayer. There’s no way he can do anything to her against her will.”

Maggie looked unconsoled. “I’m not worried about against her will.”

“Ah.” Buffy watched Maggie savagely jam birthday candles into the garish birthday cake. “Would you like me to check--?” she ventured.

“Yes!!” she answered immediately. “Please,” she said more quietly. “I would appreciate it very much. Actually, you can tell her it’s time for cake and ice cream.” She smiled ruefully and looked a little chagrinned. “Thank you, Buffy.”

Buffy smiled indulgently. “It’s no problem.” She stood and walked out of the kitchen with a sense of purpose.

Picking her way through the front room, she pretended to not see Willow waving at her. The night air was cool compared to the stuffy flat.

Faith was nowhere in sight. Buffy closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and let her awareness expand. She knew Faith wasn’t far, she could feel her. After a few moments she felt and heard her a little ways away. Very casually, she strolled in that direction.

The low murmur of conversation became clearer as she neared the talking couple. She saw them before they saw her.

They were facing each other. Scott was holding her hands and gazing into her eyes. The giant green monster inside Buffy howled in silent protest. “Hey guys,” she said as she came upon them, viciously stomping on her jealousy. They turned to look at her.

“Hey, Buffy,” they said softly in unison.

“Umm,” she started, “your mom’s about to serve cake and ice cream.”

At that, Faith turned back to Scott. “At least stay for cake and ice cream,” she said.

Scott smiled, unable to resist the pretty girl. “I can do that,” he said.

“Awww,” said Buffy, tilting her head with fake sincerity. “Don’t tell me you’re leaving.”

“Yeah I gotta get up early tomorrow…”

Buffy tuned out his asinine blather and looked at Faith. Their eyes met, faces stoic and unreadable before heading back to the relative safety of the boisterous party.

When all the guests were settled, Maggie brought out the cake, glowing merrily with candles. She had tears in her eyes when her daughter blew them out.

Scott left after the appropriate amount of sugar had been consumed. The rest of the gang promised to meet up at The Bronze.

Magnanimous Maggie extended Faith’s curfew to 1 o’clock and the party temporarily disbanded.

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“So,” said Buffy casually, “how does it feel to be sixteen? Do you feel any older?” Buffy cringed inwardly at the cliché question.

“Actually, I do feel older. Usually I feel the same, but not this time.”

They were sitting on the rock wall next to the cemetery. Buffy wanted a cigarette, but she had to resist. The last time she tried to smoke in front of Faith, the younger girl pulled it out of her hand and complained about the smell. “Plus, cancer. Who wants that?” she’d said.

“God. You sound like Cordelia. You gotta stop hangin’ around her at school,” Buffy had groused, hoping it didn’t sound like a pout.

Faith caught it, though. “Are you pouting?” She peered at Buffy’s face. “Omigod! You are pouting. That’s so cute.”

Buffy was instantly on her feet. “I am not pouting and I am not cute. Now gimme my cigarette!”

Faith raised her eyebrows in challenge. “Come ‘n’ get it.”

“Oh it is so on.” Buffy leapt on Faith and a fierce battle ensued. It ended with Buffy straddling Faith, breathing hard and painfully turned on. They were interrupted by two vampires and the “discussion” never resumed.

So now Buffy sat on uncomfortable rock wall aching for a cigarette and something else, trying to make small talk.

“So what did you and Scottie talk about tonight? D’you get your sweet sixteen kiss?” Faith ducked her head and blushed. “You did! Scott got all manly and planted one on you.” There was an awkward, pregnant silence before Buffy said, “So, uh… How was it? Did it rock your world? Curl your toes? Some warm tinglies, maybe?”

“Buffy! Will you stop?” said the exasperated, embarrassed Faith.

“As soon as you give me some details,” she pressed.

“It was nice.”

“Nice? Nice is not a detail. Nice is pathetic.”

“It was not pathetic,” Faith insisted. “It was…”

“…Lame?” Buffy finished. “At least tell me he managed to slip you some tongue.”

“Buffy!!” Faith flushed furiously.

“That’s a yes,” said Buffy triumphantly. “See? Now that’s a detail. So what else? Did he use his teeth? Maybe suck on that lower lip a little?”

In a mock rage, Faith pushed Buffy, tipping her backwards off the rock wall. Buffy, her eyes wide with surprise, managed to grab Faith’s shirt and pull her down with her. The two slayers shrieked during their descent, landing with a thud on the graveyard grass.

Faith landed on top of Buffy and lay on her, giggling. She levered herself up on her hands and gazed with laughing eyes down at the prone Buffy. “That’ll teach ya,” she said.

Buffy almost gasped at the sight of the dark eyed beauty above her. Her body reacted immediately with a flash flood of desire coating her insides. “Get off me, you little brat!”

Faith got to her feet, still laughing. She offered a hand to Buffy who peered at it suspiciously before grasping it. By the time Faith hauled her to her feet, the giggling had subsided.

Faith was staring at Buffy’s mouth. Buffy’s heart thudded in her chest as blood rushed to her extremities. Hot desire was burning in her belly and she desperately wanted to grab the girl and kiss Scott out of her system.

Guilt wracked her senses. *Stay away from her lips! She’s too young and she’ll want way more than just a roll.*

But Faith stepped close and started to lean in. Buffy was frozen. Absolutely frozen. Her breathing came shallower and shallower the closer Faith got. Her breath was sweet and sugary. A remnant of the party. Buffy’s mouth watered and her eyes slid closed as she waited for the inevitable.

Faith’s lips were soft and tentative. And hot. Slow and languorous, Buffy kissed her back. Her tongue crept out and worked its way between Faith lips. When her mouth opened to allow her entrance, Buffy moaned low and breathy and slid her arms slowly around Faith’s waist.

Faith responded by placing her hands on Buffy’s face and sliding them into her soft hair. Their tongues started a slow, slippery rhythm and their breathing came fast and uneven.

Buffy broke the kiss to look at the younger girl. Her cheeks had two bright pink spots, flush with arousal.

Arousal.

*Oh fuck.*

Buffy pulled farther away, dropped her arms, and stepped back.

“What’s wrong?” Faith’s query was laden with uncertainty. “Did I do something wrong?”

Buffy shook her head. “No. No, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why did you pull away. I mean…” She blushed deep and fetching. “You seemed to like it…”

Buffy smiled at Faith. “Yeah, I definitely was having me some enjoyment. That’s not why I stopped.” She sighed and ran her hands through her hair, her scalp still tingling where Faith’s hands were a few moments ago. “I don’t do relationships, Faith.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Buffy put her hands on her waist and tipped her head back to look at the sky. “I don’t want to lead you on,” she said finally.

“What about your ‘live for today cuz I’m gonna die tomorrow’ attitude?”

“That’s my deal, Faith. Not yours. I don’t expect you to--.”

“…to what?”

“To start acting like me.”

They stared at each other, frustrated.

When the vampires came, they each made silent vows: one, to continue this conversation, and the other, to avoid this topic at all costs.

===========

After the fight, the two slayers walked to The Bronze. Both were going over what had been said silently in their heads.

When they arrived, Willow grabbed Faith to get Scott-details.

Buffy ducked out of The Bronze as soon as Faith’s burning gaze was temporarily distracted.

She ran for a while then she walked, with no particular destination. She ended up at a familiar mansion. A place she had pointedly avoided since her arrival at Sunnydale. She wandered into the house, heart pounding.

Flashes of memory assaulted her. The clash of swords and the smell of blood. The taste of hollow victory, bitter and salty on her tongue. She leaned against the wall and slid down to hug her knees as tears ran down her cheeks.

And she wept at the loss of the only person who she’d bared her soul to. The only person she wanted to talk to about the turmoil that clouded her senses. She sobbed hard and choking into her hands. Alone.

===========

Drained and aching, she got to her feet, having no idea what time it was or how long she’d been sitting. Without a backward glance, she left the mansion.

===========

A bright light appeared from nowhere to shine on the spot Buffy had been staring at. The sweating body of what was once a man, slammed painfully onto the unforgiving cement floor.

He whimpered at the feel of the cool, night breeze across his skin before he lost consciousness.