SITCOA Ep2 Welcome to the Hellmouth

Buffy's impact with the ground was hard. For a few seconds she was stunned before she realized that she lay beside her enemy who was trying to get up, the clatter of armour was loud enough to snap her attention back to the fight. Claws reaching for her face helped, too.

"No you don't," she said simply, as she slammed her fist into his nose. The crunch of his bones made her feel better, too, or at least is till she looked up.

"What!?" She was in an alleyway and one she recognized. It ran from The Alibi to The Bronze. "How the......HEY!"

Then Spike fell from the sky and landed on her.

"Ow!" Buffy was slammed down onto The One and the vampires armour bruised her ribs. "Get off me you British idiot!"

"Sorry Pet." Spike started to get up even as the wounded vampire opened his eyes. He slammed his fist three rapid times into the one-eyed vamp's face for good luck then helped the Slayer to her feet. "Where are we?"

"Don't know." She looked round fearfully, both vampires remembered the same detail. "We fell."

They looked up at a rapidly closing ring of light which flicked out before their startled eyes.

"That does not look good, kitten." Spike looked up and down the litter-strewn alley. "I think we may be in trouble."

"Ya don't say." Buffy threw her hands up in the air. "Why did you jump in here after me duffus? It's bad enough one of us is trapped in another dimension, you didn't have to come with!"

"What you'd want to be here on your own?" Spike sounded a little petulant as he asked the question. He hadn't actually thought about it, Buffy had gone so he had followed.

"No, I guess not." Buffy looked round and shuddered as her stomach twisted. "But this is a bad place."

"What do you mean baby, hasn't it really just landed us on the other side of town?" He saw the fear in her eyes and didn't like it, if Buffy was scared then he sure as hell was. "Buffy........we arn't on the otherside,,,,are we?"

"You don't have the super souped-up Slayer sense I have Spike." It was painful, the feeling was so intense. "All I can feel all around us is their presence, there must be over a hundred vamps within a square mile. This isn't Sunnydale Spike, this is Sunnyhell!"

"And thou art welcome to it bitch." A voice hissed from by their feet, they looked down at their forgotten adversary. "The Master will destroy you both for so treating his servants."

"Yeah," Buffy said nonchalantly even as her stomach flipped at confirmation her old adversary walked here. "I take it you're also the kind of idiot who just falls through inter-dimensional wormholes and you don't know any better than we do how to get them open again."

"I walked through with my followers four nights ago, girl, and hath been seeking a road back ever since!" He sneered. "And to think how the Master will reward me for bringing one as fair as you into his power."

The katana’s blade whistled through the night air, the decapitated vampire exploded into dust.

"Could you have imagine anybody being that stupid?" Buffy sheathed her sword and began to drag the empty armour to a dumpster. "Threatening to set the Master on me, like he was going to get the chance, duh!"

"What do we do Slayer?" Spike stood watch as she concealed the evidence. "We're on our own and bloody outnumbered but there's bound to be people fighting back. Do we go find them? Kick some arse?"

"No!" Buffy didn't look at Spike as she spoke. "We find a place to hide till we can go back home, we don't have any reason to die here."

"Slayer!?!" Spike made no effort to conceal his shock. "Are you saying we don't fight?"

"Let's find somewhere safe to stash our weapons, then I'll explain." Buffy held out her hand for Spike to take and as she lead him away, began by asking him a question. "You ever hear of The Pergamun Codex?"

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They found a spot easily enough, it didn't seem like many people hung round the area, much of it was derelict. An abandoned old container full of bundles of rags gave Buffy all the hiding places she needed for sword, stakes and the gun a shame-faced vampire produced. Not that Spike paid that much attention to the resultant scolding, he was too stunned to listen.

Finally he broke in with his own questions. "How do you know you even class as a bloody Slayer here Pet, how do you know the Prophecy hasn't already been fulfilled? If it has, we can stop the Master and maybe get some help gettin' home."

"And if it does apply," she answered with a shake of her head. "Faith is in a coma, I've been replaced already I'm all our version of the world has. It's not my place to die here, Spike, can't you understand that?"

"Yes luv," Spike bowed his head. "I see, but it's just not like you." Then two small hands stroked his cheeks and silenced him.

He gasped with shock as cold lips met his. The Slayers tongue lightly brushed against his teeth before she broke the kiss. "And it's not all bad," she looked at him with a wicked gleam in her eye, "Is it?"

"No ducks, maybe it isn't." He kissed her back and she let him press her back against the container walls.

Distracted, neither of them heard the rustling in the back of the container, or the near-silent muttering.

"Piss off can't ya, go somewhere else or make less fuckin' noise!"

"Come on." Buffy knew that the day was drawing nearer. "Let's go check out the factory, see if it's empty. You need somewhere more sun-proof that this to survive till tomorrow night."

"Right Pet," Spike smiled to himself. "I always preferred that gaffe to the Mansion, in fact we'll be lucky to find it empty, hey maybe I'm..." He stopped speaking as a dreadful thought occurred to him. "Maybe I'm already living there, I mean, Dru would have got sick Master or not, and that's the only reason I came back to the States."

"After killing Jimmy Hoffa the time before," Buffy said without thinking, thus revealing what a grade-A shit Whistler could be when it came to giving away secrets. "Two Spikes huh, there's only so much a girl can stand."

"Dru!" Spike began to pace, difficult in the floor space available. "My ex, she might well have something to say don't you think, she see's two of me?"

"She's a nut job." Buffy didn't see a problem, in fact terror aside, this might have some fun elements. Teasingly she added, "Bet we could convince her it's all some naughty game, and I know I can seduce alternate Spike, I managed to pull you, didn't I?"

"Right that's it." Spike grabbed Buffy's arm and hauled her outside. "Off we go and find the portal, your not draggin' me into some Menage a trois, actually then again your talkin' foursome! I've enough to worry about over Dru without you....."

A clattering in the bins further up the deserted road drew both their startled attentions. "Tell me that's a cat."

"You know it's not," Buffy whispered. "We're vampires, we're cool here, we rule the night, don't go forgetting that. Don't look afraid, please!"

Then from an alleyway up ahead a blond emerged. She was wearing a white blouse and a stylish two-piece black suit. Her pale skin positively glowed in the light of the street lamps.

Recognition struck Buffy like a brick but it was Spike who croaked the words out first. "Stone the fuckin' crows, it's Darla."

"Oh shit!"

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Darla looked at her Rolex for the fifth time, enthusiasm in a minion was a wonderful thing but could be overdone. If she could fit sex, a meal and getting dressed into twenty-five minutes, then why couldn't Red?

"Come on," she commanded, the growl present in her voice for the first time that night. "If you weren't wearing such tight clothes you wouldn't have this problem every time."

The Red haired vampiress smiled back at her, not the least bit afraid, as she laced up her leather bodice. "But then you wouldn't find me so sexy Mistress, you do think I look sexy, don't you?"

"Coy is so not you," Darla joked, but all the same felt the tug on her still heart. Minions were supposed to adore Sires, not the other way round. She saw the girl bend forward over her victim and growing genuinely angry shouted. "Willow come on, we don't have to long before dawn here."

"But he was such a handsome boy, and hung too!" Willow pouted and stroked the dead boy's cheek. "Can't we keep him at least?" She looked dismissingly at the other body. "Though I know you didn't like his friend."

"I liked his friend well enough." He'd gasped at her coldness, and almost stopped his thrust. But Darla had four hundred years experience of giving mortal men the right kind of encouragement. She had been well satisfied by the end.

"No," she now answered. "You only want him to try to make Xander and Jesse jealous, I've had enough of you three fighting. Come on, or I'll cane you when we get home."

"You can do that anyway Mistress," with a delicious shudder of anticipation the red-haired vampiress walked towards the blond and leaned against her, their lips centimetres apart. "One boy is never enough. Can we play some more?"

"Why not?" Darla whispered as their lips met. Then both vampiresses jumped at the sound of a footfall behind them.

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The Slayer had been retreating, till her best friend emerged and started to French another woman. It had been a far, far worse shock than her Mom and Ted. Which was why she put her foot down so hard.

Darla recovered from the shock fast, and didn't seem unhappy to see them. "Spike, my favourite grand childe, I was beginning to worry you'd met with some accident."

She eyed him up and down in a way Buffy would have reacted badly to if she weren't so scared. "Clean and sober, too. My, my, what has been happening?" Then she smiled at Buffy, and ran her eyes down her body. "Other than the obvious."

"Errrr, well...you see." Spike hadn't got the foggiest clue of what she was talking about of course, but apparently he had been on the bottle here, so he responded, "You know how it is, pretty face, new purpose."

"Quite." One of Darla's hands wormed it's way inside Willow's bodice and squeezed a nipple hard. The redhead hissed with pleasure even as her eyes devoured the Slayer. "I hope you don't intend keeping such a toothsome morsel to yourself?"

*Now this is were the earth opening up and swallowing me would be good.* Buffy thought trying hard to control the urge to run. "Girls undressing me with their eyes! Definite new one...I think.*

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"Well, well, I don't know who you are but I think I owe you a debt." Darla couldn't decide what to make of the petite blond who stood by Spike's side. She felt a certain twinge of something, jealousy?

It was obvious they were lovers but that in itself didn't mean much, she would have been disappointed if Spike had met such a pretty creature and not fucked her. No what rankled was her accomplishment of a feat Darla had tried and failed to achieve, the strange vampiress had apparently given Spike back a reason to live.

Anger might have been her usual answer, anger and an attack at the first possible opportunity but another feeling made her cancel any such plans till after she had seen the Master about this new resident of the Hellmouth. The girl had power.

It emanated from her in dangerous waves.

"A debt I will repay," Darla spoke courteously, as she had learned along ago in the court of Elizabeth the First of France. She'd sought to warm the beds of noblemen in return for riches and glory only to find first disease and exile and then a Master who liked his bed kept cold instead, but since the reward had been immortal beauty she'd grown to feel she'd had the better of the deal. "Come shelter from the sun at my Master's court, you'll find it welcoming to one such as you..."

Realizing that an introduction was being asked for the Slayer supplied it. "Buffy, is my name, or rather am I."

"And such an unusual name to. Dutch isn’t it?" Darla smiled and turned to her Grand-Childe. "Radically different from Drusilla, dark to blonde, I'm rather surprised after the way you've neglected me. Still, though, a new dish will so often cleanse the tired palate, come on Spike will you or won't you? I could do with such a treat myself, those young boys of mine can get boring after awhile."

Leaning back against her Sire groaning a little at the deft caresses being delivered to her breasts, Willow none the less managed to add. "Please do....oh.....it'll be such fun."

"Ok." Buffy turned to Spike, who was after all the Master vampire present. "Can we please Master, your friends seem so nice?"

The blond vampire looked a little stunned. He had not been expecting Darla to appear before him, he hadn't seen her for over seventy years since she disappeared with the Master. He'd thought her beautiful then now he could only compare her to the girl he loved and found her lacking.

*And Buffy just called me Master!?!*

A barely perceivable nudge from Buffy's elbow drew him back to reality. He somehow managed to gasp out. "Alright Pet if that's what you want, but Darla luv we'll catch up with you, ok?"

"Good," Darla looked Spike up and down like he was a new dish on the menu himself. "I want to celebrate your recovery, it's been to long since we spent...time together."

With that she stalked away her arm around Willow's narrow waist, her hip grinding against the redheads as she walked.

Buffy and Spike followed as slowly as they could.

"Are you mad Pet?" Spike hissed his perplexed face an inch from her ear. "I though we was supposed to bloody hide, you want us to go into the buggers lair?"

"Well I guess it's the quickest way to find out what the hell is going on." Buffy noticed a backward glance at them and catching Spike round the back of the neck drew him into a fierce kiss. "Especially what the situation is with alternate you, we can't rest easy with the thought of running into him in front of other vamps."

"But..!" Spike wrestled for words. "Darla wants to shag me!"

"Good." Buffy didn't bat an eyelid as Spike's mouth dropped open in shock. "Pump her for information first chance you get."

"Who died and made me Mata Hara?" Spike sounded outraged but old memories were creeping back. "Why do I have to do it?"

"Yeah, like I want to sleep with girls!" Buffy had the naughty smile he currently hated back on her face. "It's not something I want to take up around now, where as you've done it before. I think by the looks of things I’m going to have to tread damn carefully to avoid it as is! "

The smile disappeared as another thought crossed her mind. "And I'm not having sex with vampiric versions of my best friends period, so if we see Xander or Oz don't think they'll get you off the hook either."

"I ain't saying as I'm on a hook," Spike grumbled to himself. "It's just your usin' me like some hooker, hardly makes me feel you love me at all."

"I do so, I'm letting you have sex with someone else with my blessing," Buffy paused. *No actually he's right, it doesn't sound good.* She turned him again and looked up into his eyes. "We really need to know what happening here, if it weren't for that I'd scratch her eyes out for looking at you like she has already, promise. But please, Spike, understand why we need to know what the hell is happening."

"Alright!" Spike drew back his shoulders and took an un-necessary deep breath. "I won't let the side down honest."