Believe In Me

The next few weeks passed without incident. The routine of their lives went back to the way it was, no major upheavals this time around, just a glitch that lasted a night instead of weeks or months. Good thing, too. That minor glitch had been enough to send them reeling with expectancy of what was to come and how they were going to fight it -- especially Angel, who had been having constant dreams of his Sire, unbeknownst to Spike and Buffy. The dreams varied in nature. At times he revisited the battle that sent Anna and Darla to hell, other times, he would be having a nice, normal dream and there Darla would be, lurking in the background, just smiling at him. He’d seen many things in his day, he was a vampire for Christ’s sake, but he had to admit, that was creepy.

So, yes, things had been quiet except for that inconvenience, which Angel was sure, was a lingering effect of Halloween and being forced to revisit his unhappier times. A time in his life where he felt lost, like a misfit trying to find a place to fit – he hadn’t fit in with humans and he certainly didn’t fit in with demons. Anna had tried so hard, too. She’d tried to help him fit in – make him fit in, and you’d think that as much of a misfit as she was being a Slayer, they’d somehow find some connecting in that madness that brought them together. However, it was rather like taking two mismatched puzzled pieces and trying to force them together – it just didn’t work. At least it didn’t for him. He didn’t get it; Anna had been wonderful. Sweet, nurturing, a strong fighter, kind, smart and sexy...but he just couldn’t feel that special thing she wanted him to feel, that he wanted to feel. He’d been convinced he’d not only been cursed with a soul and therefore guilty of massive proportions, but his ability to love had been taken from him as well. At that point in his unlife, he didn’t even want to receive love, so unworthy he felt he was of it. But Anna showered him with it and he played the game of soaking it up and rejecting it at the same time. He’d been, in short, a mess.

Until Buffy of course. Buffy, his angel, his muse, his light, his savior, his love. He’d been swept immediately away by her and nothing had ever felt so wonderful, never had he felt so complete. She’s single handedly restored in him his faith. And all it’d took was a smile and off hand remark about how having a soul had to suck.

Flashback

Buffy stared up at him inquisitive, demanding to know who he was as she drank him in. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was so beautiful and yet appeared so innocent for what she had to deal with on nightly basis.

“I’m Angel,” he told her, hoping he sounded welcoming.

Her eyes widened. “Angel? Are you…are you an angel?”

Whistler, the demon who had tracked him down and requested he help Buffy, laughed, “No kid. He’s not. Why don’t you tell her?”

Angel narrowed his eyes briefly at Whistler before locking eyes with Buffy again. “I’m a vampire.”

She stared at him. Then furrowed her brow, squinted her eyes and shook her head. “Okay, I don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what?” Angel asked, feeling suddenly very defensive. She wasn’t supposed to reject him! She was supposed to welcome him, she was--

“You’re a Vampire and you’re going to be my protector?” She asked, confused.

“Well, he agreed to meet you, he didn’t agree to—“ Whistler started.

“Yes, I’m going to be your protector,” he cut the demon off, not wanting the young woman to know that he hadn’t made any promises to help anyone. He felt a pull to this slip of a girl, felt that he had to take care of her.

Buffy nodded slowly, “But you’re a vampire? Don’t you want to, kill me or something?”

“I have my soul.” He braced himself for the disbelief.

Her eyes bugged, “Your soul? You have your soul? Oh my God, that must suck!”

Angel stared at her, and felt something bubbling up inside him that he rarely felt. Laughter. He chuckled, feeling warmth and mirth spread through him from her outburst and the look on her pixie face. Whistler had a look of shock on his face and he looked at Buffy, almost accusingly. She shrugged.

Angel shook his head, still chuckling. “No one’s ever put it quite that way before. It does ‘suck’.”

Buffy smiled brightly up at him and he knew he was lost.

And now, the girl that was so graceful in her fighting was tripping over the Oriental rug in the living room, nearly leaping over it in her haste to get the phone. Before it started to ring. It was one of her many talents. Angel couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled forth at seeing her trip, and the look of concentration on her face, so focused was she to get to the phone. He assumed that perhaps she knew who it was.

“Hi Giles!” she greeted the former Watcher over the phone.

Yes, she did know who it was.

Whatever the man said to her on the phone was not good for Buffy turned pale, her hand covered her mouth and tears filled her eyes. “Oh my God. Is he—is Lindsey all right?. . . And Elaine?”

Angel bolted up from his chair and started for her, “What? What is it?”

“Yeah, he’s right here. Giles, can I talk to Lindsey? Okay, okay, yep, sure. Here he is.” Buffy handed the phone to Angel, looking completely forlorn.

“What’s going on?” Spike asked, coming into the room.

“Hello?” Angel nearly barked into the phone, wanting to know what Giles had said to upset his girl so. Buffy was not in Spike’s arms, holding onto him tightly and Spike was trying his best to soothe her.

“Angel, there’s a situation here,” Giles began.

“What the hell is going on? What happened?”

“Elaine, Lindsey’s fiancé, she’s dead.”

“What happened?”

“Vampire.”

“Vampire? You’re part of the Council for God’s sake, you have stakes and crosses and plenty of weapons at your disposal to rid yourself of one vamp—“

“Angel, it was Darla.”