Just Another Game

Belonging


Xander swore softly to himself as he ruined yet another piece of wood, he shouldn’t be working when he was this tense but he needed to do something to distract himself. It wasn’t working; he knew that he wasn’t going to be okay until Spike was back. His mind was doing double time, imagining what was happening to his lover and worrying about what it would mean for them.


The events of the last few days had left his brain whirling out of control. He’d finally come to a decision about the mating, telling Spike that he wanted it more than anything. After that things happened so quickly, that Xander felt out of control.


They’d celebrated that night, making slow, sweet love without any of their usual games, but come the morning, Spike had thrown himself into the preparations for the ritual.


When Spike had first asked him to become his pet, Xander had spent a lot of time researching on the web; looking into the kind of expectations Spike would have of him. Contrary to Buffy and Willow’s opinions, he hadn’t jumped into this blindly. He knew that Spike’s vampiric nature meant some aspects of their relationship would be different than the ones he read about, more intense, but he’d figured that the basics would hold true.


He knew that if he agreed to become Spike’s property then the vampire could, if he wanted to, order Xander to have sex with anybody Spike chose. Of course Xander also knew that Spike had growled at the old lady who ran their local store when she’d pinched Xander’s cheek one day; and that he’d threatened to disembowel a man who’d grabbed Xander’s ass on a crowded dance floor. Spike was almost psychotically possessive where Xander was concerned, so he’d figured that the chances of Spike ever letting someone else touch him were between slim and none. Now Spike wasn’t just allowing it, he was arranging it.


Xander had been surprised at how quickly Angel had agreed to help them, all it had taken was one phone call from Spike and the older vampire had promised to perform the ritual. Xander’s friends had been so horrified about the idea of Spike and Xander, that he’d expected Angel to react in the same way. He was sure that Angel had never liked him, and couldn’t get his head around how co-operative he was being.


When Spike told him that he was going up to LA to finalise things with Angel, Xander had barely thought twice about it. When Spike had awkwardly explained that Angel thought it was a good idea for them to re-connect as Sire and Childe before they brought him into the family, Xander had simply agreed and helped Spike pack for his trip.


He was far more worried about his own role in what was to come; to take much notice of the nervous glances Spike shot in his direction, as the blond got ready to leave. He kept thinking that when the time came, he’d freeze up, be unable to let Angel touch him. Or worse, that Angel was only pretending to agree and would try to stop them being together.


He knew that the relationship between the two vampires was far more complex than the rest of the Scoobies understood. He’d spent enough time reading Giles’ books on vampire lore to know that, despite the enmity they often displayed towards each other, as Sire and Childe they had a bond that could never be broken.


It was why Angel had never seriously tried to kill Spike, even when the younger vampire had threatened Buffy. It was the reason Spike had repeatedly returned to Sunnydale, drawn back by the connection they shared. Being Angel’s Childe meant that, in some ways, Spike would always belong to him.


It wasn’t until hours after Spike had driven away that Xander finally got it. He’d known Angel and Spike had been lovers in the past, known that Angel would take both of them at the binding ritual; but it was only now he realised exactly what Spike had meant by re-connecting. That was why Spike had been so concerned about Xander before he left, why the last thing he’d done as he walked out of the apartment, was pull Xander into a bruising kiss and whisper in his ear how much he loved him.


Spike had gone to LA to have sex with Angel. Right now, whilst Xander sat at home panicking, the two vampires were naked and sweaty and together. Spike was sleeping with someone that wasn’t Xander and the very thought of it was driving him crazy. Angel had always had the ability to make Xander feel completely inferior, and now he had his hands on the man Xander loved.


Spike loved him, Xander no longer doubted that, but he couldn’t help wonder if Angel had a greater hold on him. If Angel decided he wanted to keep Spike, would either of them be able to do anything about it. They had years of shared history that Xander couldn’t begin to understand, never mind compete with. He hoped that he was enough for Spike; that having Angel back in his life, and his bed, wouldn’t change things for Spike and Xander’s relationship.


He trusted Spike, knew that Spike would never willingly leave him, but Xander was still afraid of what Angel might do; he’d never understood the older vampire and his easy capitulation to Spike’s request now made Xander suspicious of his motives. What if Buffy and the others had persuaded Angel to stop them, or what if Angel just didn’t think Xander was worthy of his Childe? Crazy ideas and fears were spinning through his mind, and though he knew most of them were ridiculous, Xander couldn’t make them stop.


After hours of tossing and turning, Xander had given up on sleep; every time he closed his eyes, his mind threw up pictures of how Angel and Spike would look together. He knew they’d be beautiful, but the images of them writhing together, their bodies entwined in intimate embraces were driving Xander mad. Finally accepting that he wouldn’t be getting any rest, he’d pulled on an old pair of jeans and headed for his workroom, figuring that he could wear himself out.


It was just before dawn when Spike let himself back into the apartment, he shrugged his jacket, wincing a little as the movement aggravated his aching body; then went in search of his pet. Pausing in the doorway, he drank in the site of Xander hard at work, knowing that the boy had no idea how truly beautiful he looked like this.


He hadn’t bothered with a shirt, just pulled on a heavy apron to protect his torso, and from where Spike stood the view was spectacular. The muscles in his back flexed and moved as he operated the lathe, showing off his toned and tanned body. The apron was tied at the waist and the leather curled around his hips, almost perfectly framing his ass. Spike had lost track of the number of times he’d lounged in this doorway watching Xander work, but he knew the sight never failed to move him.


Usually he’d only be able to watch for a few minutes before succumbing to temptation and making a grab for Xander, who’d wind up with his pants round his ankles and Spike buried to the hilt in his ass. That probably wouldn’t be on the agenda today though, not with the waves of anxiety pouring off his lover. He knew that Xander probably hadn’t handled his absence well, and would need to be re-assured that nothing between them had changed.


Xander heard the soft click of the door opening, and for a second he couldn’t believe it. Spike had come back, the feelings of relief were enormous and he took a few breaths to compose himself before turning to face his lover. He took one look and suddenly had a whole new set of worries. Spike was a mess, his face was swollen and bruised, and he was holding himself awkwardly, one hand clutching at his side.


“It’s alright pet, just got a bit banged up, what say you give the work a rest and come help me clean up.” Spike didn’t wait for a reply, simply heading for the bedroom trusting Xander to follow him up.


Xander took off his apron and grabbed the first aid kit from the bathroom along with a damp cloth. When he entered the bedroom, Spike was just lying back on the bed after removing his clothes and Xander gasped at the extent of his injuries. Barely an inch of Spike’s body was unmarked, there were deep bloody scratches and red angry looking bite marks; his ribs were covered in bruises and Xander could tell that Spike was in a lot of pain from the careful way he moved.


Spike watched Xander carefully, he seemed to be dazed, just standing in the doorway, mesmerised by the sight of Spike’s battered form. “It’s alright luv, s’not as bad as it looks.”


“Well it could hardly be fucking worse, could it?” Spike’s words seemed to break the spell on Xander and he came to the bed and began to gently wash the blood away. “Jeez Spike! What the hell did that bastard do to you?”


There’s my boy, sounding like himself again, “It’s not like he doesn’t have some wounds of his own pet. Marked him up good and proper I did.”


“And that makes this okay? Fuck Spike I thought you went up there so the two of you could re-connect, I was all worried about you maybe getting along too well, never occurred to me you’d be trying to kill each other.”


“Weren’t trying to kill him pet, this was just about us settling things between us. We got along just fine after that.”


“So what, a fight and a fuck and suddenly everything’s okay?”


“That’s ‘bout the size of it. We needed this, needed to push and shove and get all the anger out. Nothing here that won’t fix itself in a day or so; and now we can all start over, clear slate and all that


And as for the other thing, there’s no such thing as getting along too well and no real danger of it. It’s not that hard to understand pet, Angel’s me Sire luv; you know what that means better than most. Makes him family, means I’ll always love him, want him around; but he’s not the one who holds my heart. That’s you and he knows that, accepts it. He’s happy for us pet, thinks us finding each other’s a good thing. He’d not try to interfere in that.”


“Could he? I mean if he wanted to?”


“Never pet, you belong to me remember?”


“I know that Spike, wasn’t me I was worried about.”


“Seems to me you’ve forgotten that it works both ways, I belong to you, just as much as you belong to me. This body, this mind, this heart; they’re all yours pet, nothing ever going to change that.”


Xander could tell that Spike meant every word and knew that he had to start believing in them more. Now that he’d managed to wash the blood away, Spike’s body didn’t look as bad, and Xander grinned to himself as he figured out a way of showing Spike he understood.


Abandoning the cloth, he removed his own clothes and moved back to the bed. He pressed a single kiss to Spike’s temple, then one to his chest, and whispered “My mind, my heart.” Then he started to cover Spike’s body in gentle kisses, licking up the bloody furrows left by Angel’s nails; then nuzzling and suckling at the healing bites, covering them with his own marks “My body,” the words dropped quietly from his lips before he went back to work.


Spike could tell how careful Xander was being with him, making sure he didn’t aggravate Spike’s injuries, but still managing to drive him wild. Each and every mark, that Angel had left on his body; was covered by Xander’s soft lips and pain turned to pleasure as Spike revelled in his touch. It would be so easy for Spike to regain control, to order his boy to suck him, to make him come. But Spike knew that Xander needed this, needed to re-confirm that Spike was his with his body as well as his mind.


So he let Xander set the pace, let him touch and explore and heal, and reassure himself that they belonged to each other. When Xander finally relented and took Spike into his mouth, the vampire was ready to explode, it took only a few short seconds for the gentle sucking to trigger his orgasm, and he could only throw back his head and scream his completion as Xander swallowed every drop.


The release took the last of Spike’s strength and he sank back into the pillows and closed his eyes, soon drifting into a healing sleep. Xander cleaned them both up and then crawled into the bed alongside his lover. Carefully arranging himself so he wouldn’t jostle Spike in the night, Xander took one of Spike’s hands in his and whispered, “Mine!” before following his Master into sleep.


Tbc………….