Hearts and Secrets

Chapter 6

Spike’s eyes shifted toward Angel, and then back to the boy. He was confused when he saw the complete look of surprise on the kid’s face. What the hell was he doing here and how the fuck had he found out where he lived? And the more important question… why was he staring at Spike like he’d grown two heads?

“Spike.”

He turned, focusing on Angel and the sound of his voice because he knew this was it. The decision he’d made to try harder, to make things better between them didn’t matter at all, because this was a major fuck up and now Angel knew. He met Angel’s serious gaze again and decided he’d better say something.

“Angel, I…”

“I know, the whole dinner thing with Wes was a bad idea.” Angel slowly rose and began walking as he spoke. “Look, I don’t blame you for being upset and leaving the way you did. Once I sat down and thought about it, I realized it wasn’t right for me to just spring it on you like that.” He’d crossed the room and was standing directly in front of Spike, reaching out to wrap his arms around him. “I’m sorry.”

He stood frozen, completely at a loss for what to say as Angel hugged him. Angel was apologizing? And then when warm lips pressed against his, instead of closing his eyes and enjoying it, he looked past the large shoulder at the other person in the room with them. The other person who was still staring at him with the same expression of shock that he knew was on his own face.

“But anyway,” Angel continued, pulling back slightly, “we can talk about that later, okay? Right now, there’s something else a little more urgent.”

And here it is. Spike could almost feel his heart beating through his chest.

“I need to ask you something and I want you to be honest because it’s gonna effect a lot of things. Especially things between you and I.”

Spike couldn’t answer. He couldn’t form the words to ask what Angel was talking about.

“Spike, this is Xander… my brother.”

Brother? Angel’s brother?

“He needs a place to stay for a while and I offered him the extra room as long as you’re okay with it.”

In a whirlwind, it all clicked into place. The attraction, the eyes, the subtle familiarity when Spike first saw the boy. When Spike still didn’t answer, Angel turned around to Xander and said, “Hey, can you give us just a few minutes maybe?”

And then Xander answered in the same soft, syrupy voice that had Spike practically begging to be fucked just hours earlier. “Sure thing.” He stood up. “I’ll get something to drink. The kitchen’s this way?” he asked, pointing down a small hall.

Angel nodded and Xander took one final look of curiosity, this time blatantly eyeing Spike from top to bottom before he turned and left the living room. Before he was out of sight, Spike hit Angel with the obvious question. “Since when in the bloody hell do you have a brother?!”

Angel shrugged. “Since I was sixteen. There’s such an age difference between us, we’ve never been… close. Hadn’t even talked to him in a couple of years until he came knocking on the door last night.”

‘Coincidence,’ Spike thought, ‘had to be.’ “And what? He just shows up in the middle of the night for a friendly visit and ‘Oh, by the way, I need a place to stay?’”

“No,” Angel answered sharply. “He went home after work last night and his roommate had emptied out their apartment. Left with all his stuff and the rent money along with it. C’mon, Spike. Where else was he gonna go?”

“How the bloody fuck should I know?! I’ve been with you for a year and I didn’t even know he existed!” Except when we were kissing with my hand wrapped around his cock. Spike tried to make that thought disappear. Obviously, Xander was keeping quiet; otherwise he would have said something as soon as they saw each other. “Doesn’t he have friends or something?” Xander couldn’t stay here. Not when things were so complicated as it was.

Angel looked at Spike, scowling as he asked, “Why are you being so pissy about this? Just because I’ve never told you about him? It’s not like we’ve ever talked about your family either.”

“No,” Spike answered sternly. “Because we don’t talk about anything, do we? Unless it has to do with your cock and my arse cause that’s about all we have in common.” Spike stepped past Angel and sat down on the couch, legs spread, resting his elbows on his knees. When he looked back, he saw Angel’s eyes had darkened, but he couldn’t read his face. It could have been anger, or it could have been the fact that he knew Spike was right. Either way, he didn’t like the sudden change in demeanor.

“You’re changing the subject and now’s not the time to talk about this, Spike.”

“When the bloody hell is the right time then, Angel? When it gets to the point that we’re fighting over who gets to keep the toaster oven?!” He shook his head. “Sod it. Whatever.”

Angel let out a long, deep breath and then sat down next to Spike. “Look, I know we have problems we need to work out. And we will. There’s nothing I want more, believe me. But don’t say things like that, okay?”

Spike turned his body slightly toward Angel. “Are you fucking Wesley?”

Angel’s eyes widened and the room went silent. Spike tilted his head and stared, trying to read the reaction. The trouble was, there wasn’t a reaction to read. Angel seemed to be completely stunned and Spike almost wished he could take it back. Almost, but not quite, because he really wanted an answer. But then the look on Angel’s face changed and Spike saw the hurt replacing the stunned expression.

“Do you really think I would do that?”

Spike looked down to avoid seeing the way Angel was looking at him. He began picking at a fingernail, avoiding the hurtful gaze. “I don’t know.”

Angel sat all the way back on the couch, leaning his head against the top of it. After a minute, he lifted it again. “You should. You should know it in your heart, in your gut.” He turned to look right into Spike’s eyes and said, “The same way I know you would never cheat on me.”

And Spike couldn’t feel any worse than he did at that moment. His eyes drifted down the hall toward the kitchen. How was he supposed to say he didn’t mind Xander, Angel’s brother, staying with them, when he knew it was the worst idea in the history of ideas?

“I don’t want anyone else, Spike. I’ve told you so many times already, but I’ll keep saying it until you believe it. There were reasons why Wesley and I ended our relationship, and those reasons haven’t changed. Just because I’m spending time with him doesn’t mean we’re gonna pick up where we left off.” He reached his hand out, resting it softly on Spike’s thigh, reassuring him with a loving touch. “The only person I’m interested in sleeping with is you.”

Spike thought about that for a moment. Angel only wanted him. It gave him a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. Gunn was right. He hadn’t been tempted by anyone else since the day he’d met Angel.

So why now and what made Xander so different? Could he really use the excuse that he was angry and feeling insecure? If they hadn’t met, would it have been some other random guy? With any luck at all, with him being there, maybe Spike would figure out that it really didn’t have anything to do with Xander at all. Besides… their one, or actually two indiscretions, if the first night’s kiss was to be counted, could be easily overlooked. It wasn’t like their fooling around actually meant anything.

“Not to say this isn’t an important conversation, and something we really do need to talk about, but we can’t just leave Xander in the kitchen. I have to tell him something.”

Spike blinked at the sound of Angel’s voice. Maybe this was a test. It would be a good way for him to reinforce his love for Angel. Xander was just an attraction, while Angel was his life.

Spike nodded. “It’s your apartment, so really, it’s your decision.”

“No. It’s our apartment and having him around affects us both. It would mean a lot less privacy and a lot less room and I want to know you’re okay with it before I say anything. I’m sure he could find somewhere…”

“No,” he interrupted, “you’re right. He’s your brother, and I was just a bit thrown, that’s all. Of course he should stay here.”

Angel smiled. “Thank you, I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.” He leaned over and kissed him lightly and then added, “You know? I’m kind of looking forward to getting to know him better. It’s something I probably should have done a long time ago.”

Spike tilted his head slightly, curiosity causing his brow to furrow. “Why haven’t you?”

Angel shrugged and stood up. “I’ll explain, but it’s a long story and I’m already late for work. Let me go show him where the guest room is and then you can fill him in on the rest if you don’t mind.”

Fuck! Just because Xander was moving in, didn’t mean Spike was ready to be left alone with him. That didn’t sound like a good idea at all! “You’re going to the office?!”

Angel moved closer, pulling him into a hug. “Have to, but I’ll try to get off early.”

Spike swallowed and then watched Angel disappear down the hall. He had the gut-wrenching feeling he’d just made a huge mistake. Especially when Xander turned the corner, following Angel to the bedroom directly across from theirs. Their eyes locked briefly, only for a couple of seconds, but Spike knew without a doubt that things were about to get very complicated.

TBC