Saying It With Flowers

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Xander/William
Rating: G then R then NC17 ( but not till later…..he he he)
Author: Mightbeme
E-mail: Lee_Michelle_t@hotmail.com
Feedback: Yes please
Disclaimer: Not mine, don’t own em (pout…stamps foot….dammit) they belong to Joss etc.
Spoilers: Up to Grave and then we take a left and head off road.
Thanks: To my wonderful friend Meg for encouraging me to finish this and for being the best beta in the world. Thanks also to the wonderful people who sent me feedback, and to Seige and Sofy for their insights.

Saying It With Flowers

Part 6 William

The annoyed tone of Alex’s voice and the door slamming made me jump in surprise. Swivelling around instinctively, I tried to turn my head towards the noise, but Buffy’s small hands in my hair held me still.

“Stop wriggling William, we’re nearly finished.”

She turned the water off and wrapped a towel around my head. I breathed a sigh of relief as she moved away. She was a lovely girl and we were becoming quite friendly but I truly didn’t think of her in any other way than sisterly. Her hands as she dyed my hair had become a little intimate and in the midst of my discomfort, I feared that she had misconstrued my friendly overtures for something more personal. I was embarrassed enough at having to remove my shirt. I had protested but she insisted, and indeed had reminded me that it wouldn’t do to get dye on my new work shirt.

“Oh thank goodness that’s over.”

“Not quite yet William. Now sit still while I dry your hair.”

I sat down as she pulled a hairdryer out of the cupboard plugged it in, testing the heat before running her fingers through my damp hair. I sat awkwardly attempting to avert my eyes from her bosom which jostled in front of me as she worked. I finally closed them; I would never get used to the brazen displays of her person. Minutes passed in silence with just the gentle motion of her hands in my hair and I fell back into the comfortable warmth of my earliest memories. When I was young child my mother had often run her fingers through my hair to dry it. The fresh clean scent of soap and the subtle warmth of her body close by soothed me greatly.

“Owww.”

“Oops, sorry.”

I was jolted out of my remembrances by Buffy’s harsh yanking at a snarl in my hair. She tugged at the knots, gradually working the strands until they were smooth. Under the warm air it didn’t take long to dry, something that made the imposition a trifle more bearable. At last I looked up to see a satisfied smile grace her face as she flicked my short locks into place.

“Now stay there while I grab you some clothes and your glasses.”

I waited anxiously while she found the clothes she wanted and returned. Taking the bag from her, I closed the door and changed. The silky texture of my sapphire blue shirt felt smooth and cool under my fretful fingers. I tucked the shirt into my new denim pants and looked in the mirror. I couldn’t help but smile nervously at myself, at least I looked more like I remembered now. My now wheat coloured hair fell in soft waves around my face. Though it was still much shorter than it should be, it was at least the right colour this time. Blue eyes the colour of the sky looked back at me from behind my new wire rimmed round spectacles. As I slipped my feet into my new shoes I took a deep breath, lifting my chin in somewhat uncomfortable bravado. I left the bathroom and stood at the kitchen door for a second before I pushed it open.

Alex stood talking to Buffy and when I opened the door he swung around, his dark eyes tracing over every inch of my body. A blush lightly stained my cheeks as his intense gaze found my face. I fell into those chocolate depths as he continued to stare, my body tightening self-consciously under his concentrated scrutiny. Buffy’s voice seemed loud in the nervous silence that had fallen over the room.

“Doesn’t William look great Xander?”

Alex’s tongue slipped out as he licked his lips, his eyes still intent upon me. I started to feel warm inside at the flickers of emotions I saw cross his face.

“Uh huh.”

“Xander?”

I smiled as Buffy punched Alex in the arm making him reel slightly in surprise.

“Earth to the Xanman.”

Alex shook himself out of his daze and smiled at me softly, the brief gesture made me yearn to make him smile again. To see the purity of his heart lay bare on his face and to know that I, in some small way had been the cause of it.

“You look great William, I like the glasses.”

“Thank you Alex, and thank you Buffy for your help.”

“Hey no prob Will, I’m happy to help. But I do think we need to show you off in public now.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah how about you and I go out tomorrow night, we could go to the Bronze. It’d be fun, I’ll come pick you up at 8.oo okay”

“Oh er….well..”

I glanced from Buffy’s face to Alex’s, concerned at the suddenness of her offer. I had never been asked out in such a forward fashion by a young lady before, it was most unbecoming. But after all the assistance and support she had offered me I felt it would be less than gallant of me to refuse her. Alex looked unhappy at the turn of events, his tone seemed a trifle forced as he urged me to accept.

“Go on William, go out with Buffy, have fun. Its not like you’re gonna rape her or anything.”

A heated blush rose high on Buffy’s porcelain skin at Alex’s unkind words, her distress clear when she sharply uttered his name.

“Xander.”

“I would suggest that you apologise immediately for that remark sir, or face the consequences.”

My own face flushed with fiery outrage as Alex blatantly ignored the ultimatum. Instead he defiantly stared at me, his tone of voice clearly displaying his attitude.

“What consequences? Buffy’s more likely to kick my ass than you are.”

Buffy glared at Alex, who seemed to wilt under her hot gaze before waving his hands in a conciliatory action.

“Ok, I’m sorry. Go out and have fun. I mean it. The Bronze is a great place, you’ll enjoy it.”

Buffy took his apology in her stride, while I in turn was still fuming from the slur. Still perhaps this sort of remark did not garner the same reaction here as it would in England. Buffy seemed to disregard Alex’s bad behaviour and I followed suit, knowing that to antagonise him would avail me nought.

Alex started serving dinner and we sat down to eat, by the time we had finished it had turned into a very convivial evening. My two new friends laughed and joked together easily, even pulling me into the conversations. Every now and then Alex’s eyes would find mine, and that same warmth would briefly flicker in them, making my heart jump in some inexplicable way. The dinner and cleaning up done we retired to the living room. We took our seats next to each other on the couch to watch television. It was getting quite late when Buffy finally got up to go and we walked out out to her car, waving as she drove off. We didn’t linger outside, Alex seemed a little nervous and practically dragged me back into the apartment.

As the door closed I felt suddenly shy, nervously taking my seat by his side. Our fingers brushed accidentally while he was reaching for the TV remote, and I swore his hand lingered for just a moment. My mouth was dry as I stared up into his eyes, gone was the hatred I’d spied there the first time I’d seen him. Now his eyes were incredibly warm, deep golden lights sparkled in their dark depths and I couldn’t help but lean towards him. A puzzled look crossed his face as he moved away, though he was still smiling slightly as he took his leave and went to his bed. I gathered my things and took them to my room feeling strangely disappointed. What did I think he was going to do? It had felt so natural to lean into him, his lips looked so lush and inviting.

Confusion swirled through me, surely I was merely imagining things. This attraction I felt for Alex was uncalled for, incredibly inappropriate. I certainly did not need to make an enemy of him by calling attention to my affliction. Alex barely knew me, William that is. What he knew of, and felt about Spike was evident whenever his name was mentioned. I slumped dejectedly on the bed, feeling alone and unsure, pushing away the thoughts of Alex that crowded into my head. Exhausted, I put my new things away and changed into sleepwear. I tossed and turned for a long time before sleep finally claimed me. Late the next day I woke, startled when Alex’s face suddenly appeared around my door.

“Rise and shine William, Buffy called and said she couldn’t take you to work today.”

I was still blinking the sleep from my eyes when he returned with a cup of tea for me. I fumbled for my spectacles and put them on. Standing up I took the cup from him and followed him back to the kitchen so I could sit at the table to drink it.

“Hey are you awake? You look kinda zoned out still.”

“Mmm yes I think so, thank you for waking me.”

He slid a plate of scrambled eggs on toast in front of me and sat down to his own breakfast.

“That’s ok, I’ll drive you to work when you’re ready.”

I swallowed hastily and smiled shyly at him, his cup of coffee stopped mid air on the way to his lips and he smiled back.

“Thank you I would appreciate that.”

He took a sip of his coffee and put the cup back down, starting on his eggs.

“So got a big day today? Don’t work too hard, you’ve got a date tonight remember.”

“Yes…. well, I hadn’t forgotten actually. I do have a rather busy day scheduled as well, another wedding to prepare for. So we shall be setting up flowers at the church as well as the reception.”

A fleeting shadow of pain crossed Alex’s eyes at the mention of the wedding and I looked at him curiously. Sudden voices swirled in my head and I cocked it to the side listening intently as I recognised the words.


#The wedding, two hearts joined for eternity, great pelting showers of rice and so forth.#

#You didn’t hear?#

#What? Families get out of hand? Tear the place apart? #

#No. Well, yes absolutely…..but Xander left. The wedding didn’t happen. #

#Gotta say…… I didn’t see that coming.#


“Are you alright Will?”

I smiled feebly, hands slightly shaking at the thought of Alex’s pain.

“I’m fine” I assured him and pushed my plate away, Alex frowned at my half eaten breakfast reaching over to push it back in front of me.

“Eat William, you’re nothing but skin and bone.”

“I’m afraid I’ve quite lost my appetite.”

“Why?”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?’

“Your wedding, it should have been a joyous occasion.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed, his voice dangerously soft.

“What do you know about it, I thought you were William? Or are you just playing us again, like you did when Adam was around?”

“I..I…don’t know who this Adam is. I was merely trying to extend my sympathies to you for an unfortunate experience.”

“Well it wasn’t just an unfortunate experience, I left Anya at the altar….”

“Anya…..”

“You remembered something?”


# A girls face swam in my vision, her lips touching mine in a puzzling mix of passion and sorrow. Books were swept onto the floor thudding heavily in the otherwise silent room. Clothing was ripped away and lust bubbled to the surface as I drove into her willing body.#


“Oh God no….how…could I…he do that with…oh god.”

Shock held me motionless as his dark eyes bored into mine. My breath caught in the sudden tightness of my throat, blood draining from my face. Shaking from the unexpected remembrance I tried to look away but found I couldn’t.

“What about Anya, what did you remember…that you fucked my ex fiancé on a table? Or that I just happened to have caught it all on tv? ”

Silence reigned as I finally tore my eyes away from his, crimson colour replaced the pallor on my cheeks as I saw….felt….the memory’s echo in my mind. I had to get out, get away from Alex’s pain and my own shame. My chair scraped the floor as I rose to leave but Alex was faster. His hand came down hard on my shoulder and I was forced back with a gasp as the chair was pushed around. Alex’s face appeared in my line of vision, his eyes boring into mine, his voice a low and dangerous.

“Don’t lie to me, I know you too well Spike.” He spat the last syllable at me, like it was an affront to his tongue to even bear the word.

I shivered under his harsh gaze. His hand bruised my shoulder and I looked away quickly, unwilling to see the contempt that burned in him. He waited impatiently and when I didn’t answer him he shook me. I locked eyes with him again and noticed that his anger had not dissipated. His voice held a warning, a dark undertone that made me tremble.

“Spike?”

I could feel the tremor in my voice as I stuttered out an answer, hoping I didn’t enrage him further.

“I….I…I’m…William.”

The crushing grip on my shoulder lessened and I watched doubt creep into his dark chocolate eyes.

“I ‘m not Spike. I could not do the vile things that he has done, all I know is who I am…William.”

Reasonable words, I tried to keep my tone even, praying I could dampened the rage that burned in Alex’s heart. I spoke softly, from my heart, trying to soothe him.

“I could never hurt you.”

The silence stretched as I watched Alex strive to put aside his distrust of this Spike. To realise that I was not him that I was just William…whoever Spike had been, he hadn’t been very pleasant. I prayed that I would never know the full account of how badly he hurt this man.

“William?”

“Alex.”

He let go of my arm and rose, turning away as I got up and left the room. Tears pricked behind my eyes, as the hurt I felt clenched tightly around my heart. I gathered up my work clothes and retreated to the bathroom to dress. In private I turned the earlier memory over in my mind, not liking the tone of it. The voices were Buffy’s and I realised my own, if I had been raised in the gutter. I shuddered at the mere thought of the other remembrance. The feeling that I needed to scrub every inch of my body burned in me. I pushed the memories away, it wasn’t me, it couldn’t be me. I dressed quickly and brushed my hair and teeth before exiting, Alex was waiting pensively in the living room. As I returned he opened the front door silently and we left. He drove me to work, neither one of us spoke for the short journey. When we arrived at the shop he turned as I went to open my door, his hand finding mine. My heart skipped at the feel of his warm fingers touching mine, his voice sincere as he voiced his thoughts.

“William, about before, I’m sorry if I ……acted a bit crazed. I’ll try not to let my dislike of Spike reflect on to you. He hurt…he wasn’t a nice person, I’ll be back to pick you up at what….5 o’clock?.”

He rummaged in the glove compartment for pen and paper, hastily jotting down numbers and passing them to me.

“Here’s my phone numbers, home and my mobile, if you get off early and need a lift call me and I’ll come pick you up….ok.”

I took the paper from him, my lips turned up in gratitude. The warmth of his answering smile charmed me. It made me forget about the brief glimpse of his past and I got out waving to him as he drove away. I watched his car disappear and went into the store, the smile still on my face. Maggie grinned at me as I came through the door, her voice light and teasing.

“Morning hon, who’s that gorgeous guy? Your boyfriend?”

I blushed furiously tucking the piece of paper he’d given me into my pocket.

“Good heavens no… he’s umm…just my room mate, his name is Alex.”

Maggie’s eyebrows raised and she gave me a speculative glance.

“Right hon, if you say so.”

“I actually have an rendezvous with a young lady tonight.”

“You don’t sound very excited about that William?”

“Well, it would be impolite of me not to attend, even though…”

“Let me guess, she’s not your type. But I’ll bet my bottom dollar your roommate is.”

I blushed harder, the innuendo that Alex and I were that way inclined was quite ridiculous. Still the tug of unrequited attraction I felt for him must have shown on my face and Maggie’s interest piqued, her manner became quite conspiratorial.

“He’s the one you’ve been taking the flowers home for then?”

I groaned inwardly as I remembered that Maggie had seen which flowers I had taken and that she knew exactly what they meant. My sober silence didn’t faze her and she waved me out towards the back room and the day’s labour.

“Don’t let it worry you. It’s not a crime you know, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Does he know what the flowers mean?”

“Umm no I don’t think so.”

“Well then, no harm done. If he doesn’t know then you can keep giving them to him.”

I felt my unease disappear in the face of her gentle good humour. Maggie’s arm curved around my shoulder as we stepped into the flower filled workroom. My blush alleviating as I took comfort from her easy acceptance of Alex as the possible object of my affections, a grateful smile crossing my lips.

“You’re right, I shall do that.”

“Good now, we’ve got a big day, so no daydreaming till its over ok.”

I smiled and we started to work, though I studiously tried to ignore the little voice whispering in my ear. At days end I could see Alex again.


tbc