The Brink Of Your Mind

The streets of sunnydale were quite, the wind that had dominated the town for the last few days seemed to have dissapeared along with the sun, leaving the roads and pathways so deadly quite, that even buffy felt the longing pull for it’s crisp and gentle caress.

Her thoughts were in deep turmoil, twisting throuygh the memories that she shouldn’t know, and the future that she somehow had to figure out how to stop. And yet, the face of that girl, her daughter, kept screa int into her filed of vision. Those deep green eyes, a shade so much darker than her own, and yet so alike hers all at the same time. Her nose, which was no doubt her blonde mothers, and her lips so much like her brunette mothers.

She was still having a hard time trying to digest the fact that she’d had a child with the woman who, up to 48 hours ago, she didn’t even like, let alone wanted to ‘save’ from whatever the fuck was supposed to happen to her.

She sighed, her eyes drawn once again to the darkened sky that was hanging over her head. The stars twinkling within their canopy of blackness. The thought that faith was somehere underneath tose very same stars caused a very small smile to twitch at the corners of her mouth, before she realised exactly what she was doing, and coughed, dropping her facial expression and her eyes.

This was crazy, the only reason she was thinking so much about faith was because of the girl she saw in Luc’s vision. No matter what was going to happen to faith, without her intyervention, they would have a daughter together, made up of nothing but buffy, and faith. So for that to happen, there would have to be some form of attraction between them, which would, in turn, changeinto love and futher to that, a long standing commitment. Because having a daughter between two women wasn’t just a one night stand kind of thing, and it wasn’t just the kind of ‘accident’ that could ever happen without some form of intervention from magic of science. Or maybe both.

Her thoughts were pulled away from the images inside of her head as she heard a scream, piercing thenight from the cemetry just dwn the street.

Without a second thought towards any possible future, she took of running in the night, drawing her stake out before she even reached the cemerty walls.

~ ~ ~

she’d moved her camp by the time the darkness swept through the woods, over by the small stream and little stagnent pool of freezing cold water. She’d spent the rest of her day exploring the cave formations and playing with the water nymph’s below the surface. Of course, the prohblem with water nymphs was that they were little trickters and extreemly strong for beings so small.

They have a nasty little habbit of trapping the people they find to play with beneath the water, and never letting them go again. Of course, faith wasn’t normal, so she had next to no trouble in freeing herself from their grasp, but not before they’d gotten a promise out of her, that she would return to play again, before she left for home.

She was currently sat at the edge of the stream, dangling her feet into the cool water and watching the shimmering blue nymphs as they flited beneath the surface of the water, coming up cloo heo her and tickling her ankles before flittering away again.

And althoughthe setting was perfect, the sounds of the forrest presenting a deep lull from the chaos that constantly twisted inside of her soul and her chest. There was a soft turmoil in the back of her mild, cutting a swirling path through the gentle peace she’d managed to claw for herself, images of the blonde slayer dancing in front of her eyes. She sighed, deeply to herself and looked up at the night sky.

Maybe I don’t haveto understand. Maybe I just have to know.

She kept coming back to that statement in her mind, and then turned back towards why she would tell buffy something, that she obviously already knew.

“it isn’t about that faith.” The brunette jumped and spun her head around, forgettgin that while the ghostly apparition was still buffy, in a dream state, she didn’t come with that rolling body tinkle that announced her presence. Buffy was perched on a large boulder that sat over looking the water, and her eyes were looking straight at faith, for dur during all her visits.

“So what the fuck is it about.” Faith threw herself backwards, landing hard on the ground with her face turned towards the sky. It didn’t even matter that the ‘spector’ wasn’t buffy herself, the dark slayer still couldn’t look in her eyes, for fear of what she woule ree reflected in those swirling emeradle pools.

“letting someone in maybe? Sharing? Actually having a real friend?”

“you mean letting someone know your weaknesses?” she snorted and lifted her hand up to her hair, taking hold of a thick strand and tugging on it softly, twirling it through her fingers as well as she twirled any stake. Suddenly, buffy’s face appeared in her field of vision, choking the series of snorts in the back of her throat.

“letting someone know who are you, isn’t nessisarily letting them know your weaknesses. Not unless you let them use you against you, at any rate.”

“and you stop them from doing that, how, exactly?”

“they can only be a weakness, if they still have power over you.” buffy sat herself down on the ground next to faith, crossing her legs at the ankles and leaning back on her hands. “do they?”

“what?”

“still have power over you?” for a breif second, faith felt buffy’s fingertips, brushing the hair from her forehead gently behind her ears.

and then she was gone.

~ ~ ~

as buffy surfaced into conciousness, she smiled softly to herself. At least in her dreams she could try and sort out some of the stuff that 3was now a constant whirlwind inside of her head, at least attempt to try and do somng ang about the whole faith situation.

While in reality, she really didn’t have the first clue as to what the fuck she was supposed to do with all the information Luc had granted her.

She turned over within the comfort of her bed sheets, and quickly fell back to sleep.

~ ~ ~

when faith woke the next morning, she was led in exactly the same place she was after buffy had left the night before; laying on her back by the stream, one hand behind her head and the other resting gently on her stomach.

After the blonde had dissapeared, again, faith had laid there and starred up at the night sky, the ghost touch of the smaller slayer’s hand as it ran across her face, over her neck and behind her ear repeating over and over again.

And all of a sudden, out of no where, she realised something about the blonde; she was attracted to her.

God-fucking-dammit! Every single fucking time I go somewhere knew, I always want the wrong *bastard* person!

And then she slept, and unfortunatly, dream of the blonde slayer.

She sighed deeply inside of her chest, sitting up scr scrubbing her face with the palm of her hand, then running them back through her hair. She’d dropped to sleep not five foot from her tent, and still felt better for it. dispite how nice it was to have cover for the night, when the sky was clear and the stars were shinning, there was nothing else on earth like sleeping underneath the blanket of a crystal clear night.

Standing up she yawned as she pulled her tank off over her head, followed by her shorts, before she threw herself into the pool of water. The cool water was a releif on her heated skin, washing away the grit of a good nights sleep. She perched herself on a small shelf that jutted out underneath the water, leaving her torso from the belly button up drying in the sun.

She leaned her head back against the ground, closing her eyes to the blistering sun and relaxing back intot he water. It was the first morning she can ever remember, where she didn’t wake up with tears streaking her face, screaming as she jolted out onighnightmare that came directly from her past. The first time, in a long time, a stab of rage didn’t sefuse her chest with a deep burning, as she blinked away her thoughts.

~ ~ ~

with the return of the wind, it also brought the clouds, fit to burst and full of rain just waiting to be spilt upon the world. You could feel it in the breeze, almost taste it on the air. Buffy stood at her open window, looking out into the night as she held the phone to her ear.

She was talking to willow, or, rather, she was listening to willow as she babbled. They’d been hong ang around each other since buffy had bluntly pointed out that willow was concerned for faith, only to find out what had pissed her off so badly, and not actually because she gave haf a shit.

But she’d tuned out the red head’s ramblings, focusing instead on the weather’s turn, watching with bated breath for the rain to come tumbling out of the sky, as if to wash the world clean.

“Will! I seriously need to get soleepleep!” buffy broke into willow’s chattering, startling her best friend into silence. “We’ve been on the phone for an hour, and I feel the will to live draining out of me” they chuckled together for a few moments before they said goodnight and rang off the phone. And although buffy was actually tired, she didn’t move from the window, instead choosing to spend her time looking out at the sky and wishing for the rain to fall.

In a sudden gust of wind, the clouds broke and a sheet of rain threw itself to the ground. Heavy, weighted drops of water hurling themselves towards the earth, smashing upon anything in their path and covering the ground in a layer of warm moisture. The ringing of the phone broke through the beautiful, bitter sweetly image before her, and made her roll her eyes.

“Hello.” For a long moment, there was no sound coming from the other end of the phone, other than that of the blistering wind and the rain as it smashed into the ground.

It was as she was about to hang up the phone when a voice came through the line. “It was really shitty.” Faith’s voice broke the silence, and buffy didn’t know whether she was just imagining it, or whether it was actually a reality. “the way I grew up. It was really, really fucking shitty.”


To Be Continued..