Just love me...

Title: Just love me… ch. 5/?
Author: Valeria (valepuiguy@yahoo.com)
Rating: R and NC-17 for language, mature situations and bloodplay.
Disclaimer: All characters of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. I just borrow them.
Romance/Angst and Drama.
Time: Middle of season 6.
Pairing: B/S (spuffy, of course)
Feedback: Yes, please!
Summary: A new evil power invades Sunnydale and takes Spike with him.
“Love? What's love without passion, tears and devotion? Drama, action, romance and adventure, mix up in this fantastic story. Would you choose between them? She won't choose one. She'll do everything, to save the man she fell in love with."
Author’s note: Cursive letters are the demon quotes. The song is “Bring me to life” by Evanescence.
~
Spike felt soft skin. Warm skin… warm blood…
His vampire face emerged… he licked her… and touched her... He kissed and licked her arm… then her breasts under the sheet.
“Hmmm… Spike?” she started moving “what are you doing?”
“Shhhh,” he said, putting a finger inside her mouth and kissing his way down her body…
“Hmmm,” she moaned, tasting and sucking his finger.
“That’s it… my bad girl…” he said. He licked her clit.
“Hmmm… yeah… your bad girl…” she grabbed the back of his head, creating more pressure against her clit… “Hmmm… more”
“More?” he asked, smiling “What do you want o doo do, baby?”
“Lick me…”
“You want me to lick you hard?” he asked, looking at the expression of desire on her face.
“Hmmm… yeah… very hard…”
He licked and sucked her, massaging her clit with his tongue, and then her wet entrance…
“Hmmm… harder…”
“Harder? You want me to fuck you with my tongue, baby?”
“Hmmm… yeah, fuck me hard, Spike… fuck me hard with your tongue, with your fingers…” He continued licking her entrance as he made the way in. “Oh God… Yeah… oh… just like that…”
“You like it baby?” he asked, without stopping.
“Hmmm… yeah…” he caressed her clit with his finger, and then put another finger inside of her. “Oh God…” she said, raising her hips. “I wanna feel you inside…”
He shifted to kiss her. She could taste herself in his mouth, but she liked that…
“Hmmm, you taste so good” he said, kissing her, massaging her tongue with his.
“Hmmm, I do?”
“Yeah.” He bit her lip, and put his cock in her entrance. “Wanna feel it, baby?”
“Hmmm… yeah…”
“What do you wanna feel?” He kissed her neck. “Tell me…”
“Hmmm… I wanna feel your hard cock, Spike… unh… inside of me.” He pushed himself inside of her, feeling ther hot flesh against his cold skin.
“Like that, baby?”
“Uhn… god yeah…” He saw an expression of pain on her face.
“Am I hurting you, baby? Tell me…”
“No...” she answered. She could tell that he was still worried about the other day. She kissed him, reassuringly.
“I could never hurt you, baby… ya know that, right?” he said.
“Hmmm… yeah I know,” she said, kissing him. “I’m ok… don’t worry…” He started a slow rhythm inside of her, caressing her muscles and her butt… “Uhn…”
“Oh God…” he moaned, holding her wrists over her head and kissing her neck. Then he brought one breast partly into his mouth, sucking and licking it… he bit her nipple.
“Hmmmmm…” she moaned when he licked between her breasts.
He sat up, still snug inside, with her on his lap. She started riding him…
“Oh God…” they both moaned.
“Oh… fucking… bloody…hell,” he said, kissing, licking and sucking her breasts. She grabbed the back of his head with her hand, prompting him to kiss her more… “Hmmmm… Buffy, baby, you taste so good…” He caressed her clit with his thumb.
“Oh… God… Spike… I’m gonna…”
“Do it baby… cum with me…”
“Uhn…”
“Oh god…” he moaned, grabbing her ass. “Oh God… Buffy… I need to…” She pressed his head against one of her nipples, knowing exactly what he was going to do…
His vampire face emerged, and as they came he bit her nipple, drinking in her blood… Slayer blood…
“Oh shit, please no…” It was too late by the time he realized what was going to happen… he couldn’t control the beast inside of him. “Oh fuck…” he said.
“What?” Buffy asked, looking at him.
His vampire side emerged, pushing her away. She smacked into the wall, hurting her elbow. It started bleeding.
“OUCH!!” she said, checking her arm. “Spike??!! Are you insane?!”
He turned his vampire face to her…
“YOU BITCH!!…” he yelled as he threw himself at her, trying to bite her neck.
“AAAHHH!” She covered her face with her arms, but he never touched her. Something stopped him.
“NO! I WON’T HURT HER!!” a voice screamed inside of Spike’s body…
It was like an internal battle: two men in a same body… “ARGH! DAMN!!”
“Spike…” Buffy got up and slowly walked towards him. He was covering his ears with his hands. She touched his arm. The vae eme emerged again from Spike and punched her in the face, slamming her against the wall.
“Oh God… Buffy!!” Spike said as he became conscious of what he had done.
She wasn’t moving and he couldn’t help her… it was too dangerous for her… the only thing he could do was leave… so he picked up his pants and left through the window…
*
~How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I’ve become so numb without a soul
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home ~
*
The sun was shining through Buffy’s window. She could feel the heat of the sun on her skin… and the floor… the floor?!?… And then a pain in her head… ow…
“Ouch” she said, moving her arm to touch the wound on her head. And then she remembered what had happened… “Spike?” she called, looking around. But he wasn’t therShe She got up, still naked, and walked towards the bathroom. She looked at her reflection in the mirror: she had a purple bruise on her jaw. She touched it… it still hurt…
She turned on the shower and stepped inside. After a while, she laid her head on the wall, thinking about what could have gone wrong with the sedative… never tested in vampires… consconsequences could be terrible…
“Damn,” she said, trying to think while she put her head under the water.
*
~(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I’ve become~
*
He held his head between his hands, some tears rolling over his cheeks. He had bitten her… he had hurt her… he didn’t deserve her… he deserved to die…

Or at least, this was the way his mind was working…
He got up and started walking through his crypt. He hit the wall, feeling very angry…

“Damn!” He had to do something… but not now. Besides, it was the daylight outside… he’d do it tonight… he would go and…

*

~Now that I know what I’m without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life~

*

“Buffy, what happened to you?” Xander asked as Buffy entered the Magic Box He got up from the table where he was seated and walk towards her
“A vamp… last night… I didn’t see it and… well, he punched me…” she said, looking at him. Giles didn’t seem totally convinced, but he didn’t say anything. He probably would talk to her later.

“So… how’s Spike?” Xander asked. He wouldn’t see a naked woman dancing in front of him, so he didn’t realize anything was wrong…

“He’s… fine. Yeah, I think the sedative’s working…”

“That’s great…Well, I better be leaving…” he said, grabbing jackjacket off of the chair. “I’m gonna see Anya so I don’t wanna be late.”

“Oh, so you’re callingceasefire?” Buffy asked, smiling at him.

“Well… you know… it’s complicated,” he said.

“Yeah, I know.” She hugged him. “Sorry about yesterday, Xander.”
“No problem,” he replied, smiling at her. “You know you can use me as punching bag when you’re hurt.”

*

“Buffy, what happened?” Giles asked her in the training room while he cleaned a weapon.

“What?”

“Your face… what happened?”

“I told you. A vampire…”

“I know it wasn’t a vampire. Or at least a normal one…” He looked at her strangely. “Was it Spike?”

She looked away and tried to explain. “Something… something went wrong…” she said, raising her head
.
“What?” he exclaimed.

“We were… hummm… talking… and he… I don’t know… he became angry… he punched me… and left me unconscious… and then he left,” she said, trying to explain.

“That son of a…” Giles replied, walking towards the door. She stopped him.

“Giles! It wasn’t his fault. You know that!”

“But why didn’t he help you? He left you unconscious and then he left? He doesn’t…”

“He probably thought it was too dangerous! He probably thought it would be dangerous for me, and…” She stopped talking to think a bit… a premonition… and something… something else was rising her mind… something important… something she had read…where…? “Oh shit…” she suddenly said.
Buffy walked out of the training room.

“Willow! Need you here! It’s important!” she called to the red one, approaching the table full of books. The witch walked downstairs.

“What is it, Buffy?” Willow asked. Giles appeared too.

“Something big is gonna happen… something important… something that I feel I want to stop…”

Giles and Willow looked confused. Suddenly, Dawn entered to the Magic Box.

“Dawn! Great, you can help too. Help Giles to look for information about the sedative we tried with Spike: the consequences and effecthy why wasn’t it tested with vampires… everything. Willow:” -the witch looked at her- “I have to talk to you. Come with me.”

Giles and Dawn sat down at the table and started looking for information. Buffy and Willow went to the training room to talk.

“What is it, Buffy?” Willow asked, worried.

“Willow… a couple days ago… I had a dream… or something like that…” She looked at her. “Remember those premonitions I use to have… or, I mean, that I still have?” she asked.

“Yeah… did you have a premonition about Spike, or something like that?”

“Well yeah… not exactly… I mean…”

Willow looked at her.

“Calm down, Buffy. He will be okay…”

“That’s why I’m worried, Will. He won’t…”

“What do you mean?” Willow asked.

“I think I read somewhere, something important… about the sedative… but I can’t remember,”she said, thinking. “Ok… but the important thing now is the premonition. Maybe it’s a clue or something…”

“Well, tell me, what was it about?”

“I think… well, you were in it, and…”

“I was? Oh…” she smiled “this has to be good…”

“And… I told you I felt something for Spike… and you replied: ‘The Heart rea reasons that the mind ignores.’”

“Oh… hummmm… I did?” Willow asked, a bit concerned now.

“Yeah… oh my God” she suddenly said, realizing something. “Will… what if… what if I have to help him?”

“Well, isn’t that what you have been doing until now?”

“No Will, what if his life depends on me? What if…”

*

~(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I’ve become~

*

It was the only way… he couldn’t live like this… this feeling inside was piercing him… it had to end… and he knew how.

He walked outside and made his way to Buffy’s house…

*

~Bring me to life
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)
Bring me to life~

*

“What if he tried something…?”

“Buffy? I think you were right…” Giles suddenly called out. Willow and Buffy walked towards him. “Look at this,” he said. “The powerful sedative, never tested in vampires or any other demon, can calm the inner beast and its senses.” He continued reading. “However, there are some precautions that must be taken…”

“I knew it,” Buffy replied.

“And… oh…” he said, reading carefully.

“What? Giles tell me!” Buffy said, very nervous.

He continued reading. “The sedative can have very bad effects: from causing anger and waking up the demon inside to cases as depression, guilt, sadness and madness that can lead the person to…” he stopped, looking ahead.

“To what??” Buffy asked.

He stared at the floor…

“Suicide”.

*

~frozen inside without your touch
without your love darling
only you are the life among the dead~

He climbed into her window. He remembered Buffy’s words: “If you drink more of the necessary you could have some kind of attack and enter into a coma.”

He entered the room and smelled her essence. It was in the air… everywhere. He sat on her bed, and picked Mr. Gordo. He looked at the stuffed bear carefully.

“You think I don’t deserve her either, right?” he asked the black and white bear. “All the pain I caused… all the pain I caused her…” Two tears rolled over his cheeks as he left the bear on the bed and stood up.

~all this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything~

Buffy ran like hell from the Magic Box. She arrived at Spike’s crypt… the door was open.

“Spike??” she called, but nobody answer. As she entered she realized that there were many bottles of whisky on the floor. Some of them were broken, as if someone had smashed them against the wall. She turned around and left, running towards her own house.

~Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
Don’t let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life~

The pink bottle was on her desk. He found a cross next to it and picked that up. He closed his fist around it. Some smoke start coming from his hand. It hurt, but not as much as he hurt inside. He suddenly dropped the cross.

“No… I can’t do this… she loves me…” he said, looking around to leave.

“No she doesn’t… she’s just using you… like she always did… she would never do anything for you…”

He looked at the bottle and took it.

~(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark~

Buffy arrived to Revello Drive. She was very tired, but she wouldn’t stop. She entered to the garden, yelling his name.

“Spike!”

~(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)~

Spike opened the bottle and stared at the liquid inside. He brought it to his lips.

~Save me from the nothing I’ve become~

Buffy entered to the house and walked upstairs.

~(Bring me to life)
I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside
(Bring me to life)~

He drank the contents at the same time Buffy walked into the room.

“SPIKE!!”

He fell on his knees.

“Oh God” She ran towards him and kneeled, catching his falling body in her arms. “Spike… why?” she asked, crying.

“Because… I don’t deserve you…Buffy…” he said. The sedative made its effect known. And with his last breath, he told her: “I love you.”

~Now that I know what I’m without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life~


TBC.

Don’t freak out! :P I’ll continue… he he ;)