Surprises

Thanks so much for the reviews. They are what keeps this story going. Don't worry I will eventually finish all of my stories.. ;) Az


Surprises 6


"Why Spike? Why are you so concerned about me?" She begged. ~ If you can be this way to me...caring and sweet, Why couldn't he? ~ Buffy thought as silent tears rolled down her face.

"Because tasting you, being intimate...and having your blood in my mouth made me want to be a better man." He growled softly.

Buffy was stunned. She couldn't believe his words. And that he was serious. ~ I want to believe you. ~ Her eyes widened. "I can't...I can't leave here with you. I ..."

Spike looked up at her. "Buffy...I'm not saying you have to leave with me. I know you don't want your friends to...Can I meet up with you later? On patrol?"

~ How can there be so much in your eyes? How can you care? ~ Buffy sighed. "Faith is patrolling with me." She said softly. She saw the hurt in his eyes. "Can you ...can you give me some time...I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it."

Spike nodded. ~ I'll still be there while you sleep. ~
~~~~~`

Buffy and Faith left the bronze and went on patrol.

"So what's going on with you and bleach boy?" Faith questioned as she dusted a vamp.

"What? There's nothing going on." Buffy squeaked, her skin burning crimson. "He's a vampire for cripes sake."

"Yeah." Faith shrugged. "But I've been with vampires B. No human compares, and shockingly he seems to actually care about more than just a quick roll in the hay."
~~~~~`

Spike sat on the barstool contemplating his first meeting with her 'after'.

A song played from the stage. Spike closed his eyes to listen to the words.

~~ I'm tired of being what you want me to be. ~ *Monster*soulless*unfeeling ~
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me ~ Don't have a soul. But I still want you. Want to hold you, make love to you. ~
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you ~ Monster*soulless*unfeeling ~

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there ~ I feel you Buffy, your heat, your softness. Calling me. ~
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you ~ I know it's wrong for me, killing vampire's, saving humans. But I've never wanted anything as much as I want you. And I can't kill if I want you to be mine. ~

Can't you see that you're smothering me.
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you ~ I didn't kill you when I bit you. Didn't want to. ~

Every step that I take is another mistake to you
And every second I waste is more than I can take ~~

"Sod this." Spike growled as he got up from his seat and stalked out of the Bronze, duster billowing behind him. ~ Not going to waste any more time. ~
~~~~~`

Buffy sighed as she walked into her room. She flicked on her CD player. It played quietly in the background as she brushed her hair.

A song she'd never heard before came on and she listened to the lyrics.

~~ Why did you steal the matches
From the one room motel
Once they gave you answers
Now they give you hell
They will never understand
They wonder where did they go wrong
How could you be so selfish
Why can't you get along

And as you pray in your darkness
For wings to set you free
You are bound to your silent legacy

You've seen it in the movies
And you've heard it on the street
Craving the affection
Your blood is full of heat ~ For him. Spike. ~
They don't listen to your reasons
As original as sin ~ We made love. He tasted me, and yet I live. ~
Deny all that you feel ~ For my watcher, my friends, my calling. ~
And they will bring you home again

Your body is alive
But no one told you what you'd feel
The empty aching hours
Trying to conceal ~ The hunger. The need. For him. ~
The natural progression
Is the coming of your age
But they cover it with shame ~ He's evil. Soulless. A monster. ~
And turn it into rage ~ Kill him. Kill them all. It's the reason I've been called. ~

You are digging for the answers
Until your fingers bleed
To satisfy the hunger
To satiate the need ~ To be in his arms. Just for a little while. ~
They feed you on the guilt
To keep you humble keep you low
Some man and myth they made up
A thousand years ago ~ Slayers Kill Vampires. They have no feelings. They have no souls. It's my destiny. ~

Mothers tell your children
Be quick you must be strong
Life is full of wonder
Love is never wrong ~ Never? ~
Remember how they taught you
How much of it was fear ~ Don't let them get close. Don't let them in. They will kill if they have the opportunity. All of them except for him. ~
Refuse to hand it down
The legacy stops here ~ Can it? ~

Oh my child...~~

Buffy let the tears fall freely down her face. ~ I feel like I shouldn't want him. But I do. So much. More than anything. ~

Buffy crawled into bed. She curled into a ball and listened quietly to the next song.
~~~~~`

Spike could see the light on in her window. ~ Gotta talk to her. ~ He threw his smoke to the ground, crushing it under his heal. ~ I'm coming Slayer. ~

He began to climb the tree.
~~~~~`

~~ So you walked with me for a while ~ ' Making love to you was the sweetest, most pleasurable thing I've ever experienced' His words played over in her head. ~
Bared your naked soul
And you told me of your plan
How you would never let them know ~ 'I know you don't want your friends to...Can I meet up with you later? On patrol?' ~
In the morning of the night ~ You held me. Promised you'd never leave. ~
You cried a long lost child
And I tried on I tried to hold you
But you were young
And you were wild ~ I can't. I'm the slayer. ~
But I, I will never be the same
Oh I, I will never be the same
Caught in your eyes
Lost in your name
I will never be the same ~ I won't. I won't ever be the same. ~
Secrets of your life
I never wanted for myself ~ I don't need to know why, she never let you claim her. You were with her for a century. I'd rather know why you stayed. ~
But you guarded them like a lie
Placed up on the highest shelf ~ I don't think you'd tell me anyway. ~
In the morning of the night
When I woke to find you gone ~ Held me all night, after we made love. After I gave you my most prized possession. ~
I knew your distant devil
Must be draggin' you along ~ Gotta hunt. Gotta feed. Gotta appease the demon. ~
And you swore that you were bound for glory ~ Killed two slayers already. You'll be the death of me. ~
And for wanting you had no shame ~ I could see it in your eyes and feel it in my bones. Like I feel you now. ~
But I loved you
And then I lost you
And I will never be the same

Buffy's sobs had over-taken her. She cried brokenly, gasping for air, face down on the bed she didn't hear, feel, know anything but her sorrow, until she felt a hand placed gently on her shoulder.

Buffy rolled over on the bed and let herself be pulled into the comforting embrace. "I...I...It's ...wrong. It's so...wrong." She sobbed.

"Hey...shhhhh."
~~~~~`

So you wanna know who it is? Please let me know. ;) Az
Song credits. Linkin Park and Melissa Etheridge, Lyrics from LetsSingIt.com