Losing It

Faith’s POV

My Dad is sittin at the kitchen table when I walk through the door.

I lock eyes with him for a second and I see that he ain’t too happy.

I let out a deep sigh and place my key on the hook by the door. I walk into the kitchen which is directly across from the front door and I pull out the chair across from where he is sitting.

I sit down real slow like and fold my hands. I lean over the table a little and place my feet on the bottom bars of the chair.

I might as well be relaxed. I’m guessin I’m gonna be here a while.

I look up and let out a breath. I’m about to open my mouth to speak when my father’s dark brown eyes lock onto mine and suddenly, I’m speechless.

He takes a deep breath and folds his hands on the table, mirroring mine. He clears his throat and readjusts in his chair.

“I received an interesting phone call. It was Mrs. Summers and do you know what she had to tell me?”

I start to answer, but he cuts me off again.

“She told me that she walked in on my daughter…”

He looks up at me with this cold stare that chills me to the fuckin bone.

“That would be you.”

He averts his eyes back to the table.

“…and her daughter…that would be Buffy…commencing in…”

He looks up at the ceiling like he’s thinkin’.

“What did she call it? Oh, yes.”

He looks into my eyes. I almost hear him growl.

“Sexual contact. You wanna explain that one?”

Damn. Shit. Fuck.

And all those words.

He knows I’m nervous because I start to itch my right bicep. Which just happens to be where I got my tattoo last year. That was the only other time he had a talk with me like this. Just for the record, that one ended with me not being able to see Buffy for 2 weeks. There really wasn’t anything else I couldn’t live without. It nearly killed me.

I don’t think I can live through it again, so I better choose my words wisely.

“Well, we weren’t doing anything sexual really.”

He tilts his head down a little and closes his eyes.

“Faith, please don’t lie to me.”

I stop scratching my arm and let out a breath.

“I’m not Dad, honest. Me and Buffy weren’t like…fucking or anything…”

His head suddenly jerks up.

Oops. Guess I picked the wrong word.

His nostrils start to flair and his right eye starts to twitch.

“What…did…you…just…say?”

Oh fuck. Oh double fuck.

I’m scratching my arm so hard, I think it’s starting to bleed.

“That’s not what I meant to say. We weren’t doing anything sexual or even remotely sexual. I had just got back from patrol and I was feeling good. I guess Buffy was too and we just…got carried away.”

The anger is gone from his face now. I think he looks kinda…scared?

He takes another deep breath and runs his hand down his face.

“Faith, I wouldn’t call having your hand down Buffy’s pants…getting carried away.”

My eyes widen.

I can’t believe Mrs. S said that.

He drops his hands on the table and leans all the way back in his chair. He looks so tired these days. He works way too hard.

“Dad? I’m sorry okay? I didn’t mean to upset you. I just…love her.”

I see something flash across his face for an instant. A memory maybe? And he smiles faintly.

“I know you do Faith. That’s why this is so important. Joyce agrees with me that this is something you girls should really think about before you decide to express that love physically. There are risks here Faith. You realize that right?”

Oh God.

Round two.

I sigh and slump back in my chair. I place my head on the back and stare up at the ceiling.

“Yeah, Dad. I know.”

He clears his throat again and starts to stand up.

“Well, good. But I still have something I would like you to have.”

I take my head off the back and sit up. I watch as he walks over to his jacket hanging on the rack and pulls a package from the pocket.

He carries it back into the kitchen and places it in front of me.

I can’t help but smile.

I pick the package up in my hand and turn it over before I look up at him.

“Condoms?”

He just nods.

“Ah, Dad? You know I don’t have a…”

He puts his hand up to silence me.

“I know you don’t Faith. But I do know of the certain item that you keep in the bottom drawer of your dresser.”

My eyes really widen now.

“You…you went through my sh…stuff?”

He shakes his head and folds his arms over his chest.

“Of course not. I went in there this morning after you left for class. You left the light on in your bathroom and I went to shut it off. The drawer was ajar and I went to close it when I saw the leather strap sticking out of the top. I know I shouldn’t have, but I was intrigued so I opened it wider and that’s when I saw it.”

Great. Just fuckin’ dandy.

My Dad knows I keep a strap-on dick in my bottom drawer for when Buffy is ready to give it up to me.

And the award for the shittest luck goes to...yep, ME.

I sigh and put my hands over my face.

How the hell am I gonna explain this one?

“Dad, I…”

I suddenly stop when I feel his hand on my shoulder. I take my hands off my face and look up to meet his gentle smile. He nods.

“I know Faith. I was young once too, and in love. Buffy’s a real lucky girl.”

I smile back and shake my head.

“No way. I’m the lucky one. I just want her to know that it means something to me to, ya know?”

Dad just nods and smiles. He leans down and places a kiss on the top of my head.

“Yep, I know. Night, firefly.”

“Night Dad.”

He starts to turn and head up the stairs, when I hear his footsteps suddenly stop. I turn my head around to look at him.

“Faith? Promise me you’ll come to me before you make any decisions okay?”

I nod.

“You got it.”

We share one last smile and I hear him continue up the stairs and then his bedroom door shuts.

I let out a deep breath. I close my eyes and lay my head down on the table. My nose comes into direct contact with my left hand and suddenly my senses are overwhelmed with the sweet smell of Buffy’s pussy.

I put my fingers to my nose and inhale really deep.

Fuck.

She smells good enough to eat.

I groan at my own thought.

She makes me want her so bad, but she won’t…

…have physical sex with me.

A thought suddenly occurs to me.

She said she wasn’t ready to have sex with me…she never said she wouldn’t have phone sex with me.

Oh…the fuckin possibilities.

Damn. I’m on a roll tonight.

I snatch the condoms from the table and smile to myself.

I leap out of my chair and I make a B-line for my room…and my phone.

I’m gonna give B a taste of what she’s missin’.

Then maybe she’ll give me a taste of what I’m missin’.