Quantum Xander II: In Wake of the Curse

Part 57

After unsuccessfully trying to get Xander into bed, the two vampires sulked as they watched their lover consume the better part of a large frozen pizza and a liter of cola. Xander knew that there were things they needed to discuss - namely Angel and the fact that he was liable to show up looking for them - but he didn’t want to get into it on an empty stomach. Plus, any stall tactic he could come up with was all good, as far as he was concerned. Finally, as his stomach protested the consumption of any more food, he wiped his hands and face and then cleared his throat to get his lovers’ attention.

“We need to talk about Angel.”

The dark-haired Spike nodded his agreement, while the blond snarled in annoyance. Xander turned his gaze on him and smiled softly. He knew that Spike didn’t want Angel touching him, and he was fine with that decision, but they needed to present a united front to the older vampire when he arrived. Xander knew - it had been made painfully aware to him back in L.A. - that he was no good at reasoning with his lovers’ sire, especially once he was distracted with the touching and the kissing. He didn’t want to risk them doing something that Spike would regret.

“I know you don’t want him to touch me; I understand that. I promise you, he won’t - not unless you say so.”

Spike dragged Xander onto his lap and wrapped his arms around him before burying his face in his mate’s neck.

“Mine.”

“Yours.”

Xander carded his fingers through the short, blond locks and waited for Spike to calm himself. The other Spike watched all this with a cold look in his eyes.

“Do I get any say in this?”

Xander looked up at him and blinked.

“Um, huh?”

“Do I get any say in this? I may not be this reality’s Spike, but nevertheless, I am Spike. Therefore, Angelus is still my sire - therefore I should have some say as to whether you get a formal acceptance into the clan or not. So, do I?”

Blond Spike looked up at his darker-haired double with hate-filled yellow eyes. Xander could hear the fan starting up; could smell the shit approaching. He just hoped he could pull the plug on it before it hit.

“Whoa! Hold up; everyone calm down. First, explain to me what the big deal is about getting the Angel seal of approval, then we’ll go from there. Okay?”

Both vampires nodded and the blond continued to hold Xander on his lap as the brunet thought about the best way to explain why he wanted his sire’s approval of his choice of mate.

“If I had claimed you unwillingly - if you hadn’t wanted it - I would need Angel’s approval to keep you, but since you accepted my claim, and claimed me back, it’s not necessary.”

He saw the triumphant look on his double’s face and continued.

“However, it’s my right as a Master vampire of the line of Aurelius to have my sire acknowledge my mate. I’ve never taken a mate before, Xander - never wanted to - but now that I have, I want that approval, that acceptance. I want every demon out there to know that you are a member of the Aurelius line, that to mess with you is to mess with not only me, but the entire clan, as well. You know I would never do anything to hurt you, love. And if you really don’t want this, I won’t force the issue. I just… I want this.”

Xander nodded his understanding and then turned to face his other mate. He could tell that the blond was torn, that at least a small part of him understood, and maybe even felt the same way.

“Spike? Why don’t you want this?”

“I… ”

Spike blew out a frustrated breath and stood up; he set Xander back down on the sofa and paced the length of the room. He couldn’t explain why; he didn’t know. He was still coming to terms with having his soul back, Xander being the only thing keeping him sane, the world coming to an end, having an evil twin from another dimension, and being mated to a human. Throw in the complications of still having feelings for Buffy, and now Angel showing up - not to mention that his double might possibly be right about what he still felt for his sire; well, he was so confused he didn’t know which way was up.

“I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel about Angel; I resent the hell out of him. I hate him with every fiber of my being - the thought of him touching you makes my cold blood boil. He’s taken everything from me, my life, my princess, the slayer, and now he wants you. I know it’s not the same - Dru was his to begin with, so was Buffy - but you… You. Are. Mine. I don’t want to share you. Not with him.”

“Then you won’t.”

Xander looked at the dark-haired Spike and begged him with his eyes not to make an issue of this.

“Well, this is just fuckin’ peachy!”

Spike spun on his heel and stormed out of the apartment. Xander looked from his lover to the door and then back again. He felt his eyes fill and then hot, salty tears were running down his cheeks.

“He’ll be back, love. He just needs to blow off some steam.”

Xander nodded. He hated this - having to choose between them.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not your fault. You have a right to feel this way; he has a right to feel the way he does. We’re just going to have to learn to deal with these things - compromise. This obviously means a lot to him; more than I realized.”

“It does. I just… I think a part of me - maybe - still loves him. What happens if I let that part out, if I allow Angel into my heart again? He doesn’t love me. I was chipped and left defenseless, love. He didn’t care. Didn’t come to see if I was getting on all right, if I was feeding. He just turned a blind eye, ignored me. If I let him, he’ll destroy me. I just don’t know if I can take it again. Not now with this… soul in here. I’m too weak.”

Xander kissed Spike softly and then looked into his eyes.

“Not weak, Spike. You are the strongest man I know. And if it helps… Well, Angel knew about the chip. Giles called him after it first happened; Angel offered to come and take you back to L.A., but at the time, we were still trying to find out about the Initiative, and you were so sure you could find a way to get it out… ”

Xander sighed.

“I guess we should have told you, but we all assumed that you hated Angel, and that you wouldn’t go anyway. I’m sorry.”

Spike blinked and looked at Xander with wide, astonished blue eyes.

“He offered? Really?”

“Yeah, he even asked about you a few times after that. At the time, I thought it was because he was worried you were bothering Buffy, but I’ve come to know him a lot better since then. He was worried about you. He does love you, I’m sure of it.”

Spike’s mouth twitched up at the corners and he struggled not to smile.

“You sure you aren’t just saying that so’s you can get to shag him again?”

Xander spluttered indignantly and Spike lost the battle not to grin. In fact, he laughed out loud.

“Alright, we’ll do it then. When Spike comes back, we’ll tell him that Angel can do his Master of the line of Aurelius shtick, and welcome you properly.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am. He’s right, you know; it is our right as Master vampires to have our mating acknowledged by our sire and the head of the line. Besides, it gives you an added measure of protection - not that you need it now, what with you being Mr. Wizard an’ all - but the more people looking out for you, the better I like it.”

“I love you.”

Xander kissed his mate deeply, savoring the taste of him in his mouth. Finally he had to pull back for breath and smiled at the look on the vampire’s face. The door opened and a sullen Spike strode back into the apartment and flopped down on the sofa. Xander smiled at the blond Spike and then crouched down in front of his sulking brunet mate.

“You okay now?”

“No.”

Spike pouted and crossed his arms in a childish manner. Xander felt his lips twitch and bit the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning.

“Couldn’t even find something to pound on. This town is bloody dead.”

“Spike, Spike and I talked while you were gone. He’s changed his mind. When Angel shows up, we’ll go through with the ritual or whatever it is. Okay?”

The brunet blinked and looked at the blond skeptically.

“You sure, mate?”

“Yeah. I am.”

Spike grinned and launched himself at his blond doppelganger and kissed him soundly on the mouth. Xander smiled. Things were never going to be easy among the three of them, but it would always be worth the small conflicts to see them together like this. Blond Spike blinked in shock when his double first kissed him, but then gave himself over to the gentle pressure on his lips. Xander was just about to suggest they take this into the bedroom when a knock at the door broke him out of his thoughts of naked Spikes.