Complement

XXXII – Breathing & Everything
(Part A)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neither knew how long they stayed kneeling, kissing, on the blanket in the clearing. For them time had come to a stand still, as it had that night so long ago in the back alley of the Magic Shop. It was now, as it had been then, almost as if the gods themselves had stopped the passing of time and had given to them a moment that was purely for the two souls that were Faith and Buffy. It was a merging for them, unlike wtheythey normally felt through their bond, there was an intimacy in their kiss that transcended the physical, transcended the echoes they shared, it was as if they were truly kissing the other's soul, essence, spirit, whatever word they chose to describe the very core of who they were.

Every hidden shield, fear, desire, need, want, secret, both of the light and the dark was revealed; as the walls, old and new, they had built to protect themselves, to protect each other crumbled into dust and blew away on the warm gentle breeze that caressed, surrounded and bathe them in mother earth's own healing embrace as they kissed.

They were exposed, naked to each other, as the bond they shared expanded fully. It encompassed, surrounded, held, cradled and caressed them. The line began to blur as the bond blended in naturally with their souls and thus became them in a wholly new way. As mother earth had, they bathed each other with their essence through their bond as they searched out all the hidden, deeply buried scars that each of them carried with them. They could not erase them; instead, they soothed and embraced the internal scars intimately, with the healing touch of each other. They vanquished the ghosts of the past, his ghost, Glory's ghost, Faith's mother to the far recesses of each of their minds. It was not done consciously, it was a gesture born solely from the deep love they shared with each other. Not truly aware of what was happening or how thoroughly they were immersed in each other while they kissed, they none-the-less felt it to the very depths of their souls.

In those few eternity-like minutes while they kissed so delicately, so reverently, they moved leaps and bounds down the path towards healing, wholeness. Their feet so firmly planted upon the road, that the Creator would not have been able to pull them from the path. They grew stronger within each other's embrace, sharing their own inner strengths and even their greatest weakness' with each other.

When the kiss finally ended, they stared at each other with new eyes. All the veils of illusion had been lifted from their eyes. They saw each other for who they had been, who they were, who they would be. They knew the other intimately. They had no misconceptions of who their soul-mate was. They loved each other for who they truly were and freely accepted each other, all the good, all the bad and did not see the other as some fairytale fantasy lover that lived in their head. Then again that was what truly made them unique since the day Buffy had gone to L.A. to claim Faith as her own and Faith had claimed Buffy in return, their eyes had been wide-open and from that point on they had begun to see the other for who and what they truly were.

All of this knowledge that came to them while they kissed, became innate to them, it was a part of them just like their bond, just like they were a part of each other. They weren't even truly aware of it, not in any real sense. They both knew something had changed, that their bond had deepened, grown stronger, but they would have been hard pressed to put into words what it was that had changed. They were, when all was said and done, still just Faith and Buffy, the Chosen Two, the Chosen of each other. With all the same idiosyncrasies, bad habits, warped sense of humor, insecurities, cocky attitudes, loving natures, and while things had changed on a very deep level, how they were with each other still remained the same.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She could feel her mouth moving but nothing seemed to be coming out of it. Her mind was reeling, hell, her whole body was in a whirlwind from their kiss.

Faith arched an eyebrow, a slow sensual smile started to grace her face as she watched Buffy pull off a good imitation of a mime. She wasn't about to let Buffy know that the kiss they had just shared had rendered her speechless as well. Buffy shook her head and tried to speak again.

"I... ah... Wow?" Buffy barely managed to stutter out. Talking right now, she decided, was definitely not an option.

Buffy watched as Faith just nodded her head in agreement. Then she started to get a sneaky suspicion that Faith was just as incapable of speech at the moment as she was. She smirked at Faith letting her know with just a look that Faith wasn't fooling her one bit. Faith's eyebrow rose a little higher, her sensual smile turned into a face splitting toothy grin, her eyes twinkled and she winked at Buffy. Buffy's stomach started doing somersaults and her heart did flip-flops at the innocent, joyful grin Faith was giving her. She hoped that she never stopped, no matter how many years they were together, ever having that reaction to Faith. Her own face split into a wide toothy grin.

As Faith watched all the emotions running across Buffy's face, in her eyes, she couldn't help wonder how the hell she had gotten so lucky. And lucky was exactly how she felt despite everything that had happened between them before, all that had happened to them since she had gotten out of jail and even everything that had happened to them in Slayer Hell. She had no idea what, how she had come to deserve Buffy, all of them in her life but she wasn't going to fight against it, wasn't going to question it. She just silently thanked whomever it was that had given her this second... third... whatever chance it was and swore on her own life that nothing and no one could make her fuck it up this time. The world, life, love, it was all there for the asking, all there for the taking and this time she wasn't running from it, this time she was running towards it with arms wide open.

"Wow huh?" Faith said softly when she actually felt able to speak. "It's a good thing we we're kneeling B, cause I know my legs would have given out."

"God you're beautiful..." Buffy uttered below a whisper. She reached up, gently stroked Faith's cheek and smiled as her hand was captured and her palm kissed by Fais sos soft lips. Faith's gentle kiss sent her heart fluttering and turned her mind into mush once again.

"Nope B, not beautiful, not me." Faith shook her head in denial feeling the heat creep up her neck and face as she blushed from Buffy's words.

Once again Buffy watched the sss css come over Faith. It amazed her in some ways and thrilled her in others that it was only with her that Faith let out this side of her personality, that Faith trusted her enough to let her see this side at all.

"You are Faith..." Buffy insisted once again, she smiled a little at Faith shaking her head in denial again. "You are and you can't argue with me 'cause we both know... I'm always right." An impish smile floated around her mouth as she teased Faith hoping to bring her out of her shyness.

Faith returned Buffy's impish grin with one of her own, her shyness taking a back seat as her own teasing nature came back up to the surface.

"Really B? Always right.... hmmm I don't think so." Faith drawled, "I'm not bea... I'm absolutely fucking adorable is what I am. So ya see B, this time you're wrong." Faith leaned forward and gave Buffy a quick soft kiss on the mouth before she could say anything. Then just as quickly she kissed the tip of Buffy's nose, then laughed as Buffy wrinkled up her face from the kiss. "You look like a rabbit when you do that B..."

"Oh great next you'll be calling me Thumper..." Buffy pouted, pretending to be annoyed.

"Thumper... Has possibilities B, thanks!" Faith leaned forward and kissed Buffy again on the tip of her nose.

"Hey! Cut it out you!" She cried out pretending to be indignant as she rubbed her nose. "That tickles you know!"

"But you look so cute when you scrunch your face up like that B, I just can't help myself." The big toothy grin once more graced Faith's face.

"Yeah... yeah... yeah... Bet you say that to all the girls..." Buffy smiled back, "So you gonna feed me or what?"

"Oh I'm gonna feed you all right B..." Faith purred with a smirked once more back to her own cocky self.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm so full I think I'm going to pop..." Buffy let out a long sigh, cuddled further into Faith's lap and then flopped back against the large soft pillows, pulling the arm Faith had wrapped around her with her.

She smiled up leisurely at Faith, licked her lips and tasted the last remnants of Faith's fingers and the sweet and sour sauce that had been on the last piece of finger food that Faith had been feeding her by hand. There was something about the whole thing that reminded her of the night at the Mansion when they had truly made love for the first time. The night that both of them had stopped fighting against the bond they shared, the night that Faith had for the first time in her life let someone see what lay beyond the walls she had erected in herself. The night that Faith had given Buffy her complete trust and let Buffy see who she really was on the inside. It was a night filled with emotions, trust, love, a night that Buffy had been given a gift by Faith that she would treasure for the rest of her life.

"That was wonderful baby. All of this is wonderful, it kind of reminds me of that night at the Mansion when I cooked..." Buffy let out a little laugh, "...or rather bought Japanese food... This place is, tonight, al it it is beautiful, just like you. Thank you." She tugged on Faith's free arm pulling her down until she lay on her side facing her. She reached up and tucked a few stray pieces of Faith's hair behind her ear, it was Buffy realized, a habit of hers now. Her hand was unable to resist lightly caressing the side of Faith's face. She stared deeply into chocolate-b eye eyes, seeing all the little flecks of emerald in them. She loved to watch Faith's eyes as her passion grew and the emerald flecks would expand until it seemed as if Faith's eyes were almost glowing.

"Your welcome Giz... I ah... I wanted tonight to be..." Faith trailed off, she lowered her eyes, her shyness kicking in again with the same force of a wrecking crane.

"To be what Fai?" Buffy asked her, she grasped one of Faith's hands, rubbing her thumb against the back of it encouragingly.

"I ah... wanted it to be special... I... well... I wanted to remind you of that night..." Faith peeked up at Buffy through her lowered lashes; she was mentally kicking herself in the ass over this shyness crap, this was one part of her true personality she could have without question, done without.

Buffy looked at Faith quizzically, her eyebrows scrunched together as she concentrated on trying to solve this little puzzle. There was obviously more to tonight then one of Faith's just because picnics, dinners or midnight rides that she had set up over the time they had spent here to surprise and romance Buffy. Faith had been nervous, almost painfully shy, stuttering, stumbling, fumbling over her words all day and for the life of her Buffy couldn't figure out why. It obviously had something to do with the night at the Mansion, the night they had in Buffy's mind, made their commitment to each other. The night Buffy knew they both realized that they were soul-mates. What was it that she was missing? Something began to drift ly aly around the edges of her mind, an odd sort of understanding or rather a feeling came with the hazy thoughts.

"Faith... do you want to tell me why?" Buffy continued to stroke the back of Faith's hand with her thumb, Faith's nervousness contagious.

"It's... well with all the going from dimension to dimension... While it's only been a few months on Earth in Earth's time." She shook her head a little trying to force her babbling jumble thoughts into some sort of coherency. "I kept feeling like it had been, was so much longer then just a few months and then I started to realize why. It's just since that night at the Mansion and then in hell, then here, with how time passes differently in all those places, it's been a year since we've been together if I figured it out correctly. Not sure if today is actually one year or more but I know it's close. And... ah... well I figure it's an anniversary. I've never had one. Never had anyone stick around long enough for a week let alone a year. I know that... Granted, you were forced to be with me for more than half that year... But... And despite that most of this weird, warped year has been anything but good, mostly all bad. Hell it's been down right fucking horrible in so many ways, so much pain and hurt for most of it... but I... I just wanted..." Faith trailed off, lowered her eyes and started to berate herself silently or so she thought.

"Oh that was just fucking beautiful Faith! You sure know how to woo your fucking girl! A regular old Romeo you are! Stupid much?!!? Good way to tell someone how much you love them by telling them that almost the whole last year you spent with them sucked. Beyond sucked, gonna get a lot of brownie points for that. What was so hard about saying that despite everything... That if God herself came to you and gave you the choice of none of this happening, but it meant that you would lose B, that you would pick going through it all again, a million times over, a million times worse if it meant in the end that you were still with B? Or that you would gladly give B up, go through it all, hell, your childhood, over and over again if you were guaranteed that B would be spared every second of pain or hurt you caused her or was caused because you were a part of her life. Real fucking Shakespeare, you are. Fucking idiot... You're a fucking stupid, uneducated, mouth like a sewer, low-life, white-trash slut who doesn't deserve to be this fucking lucky..."

Buffy's mouth dropped open, her eyes grew wide in amazement, her heart stopped beating and her breath caught in her throat from Faith's words. She had thought she knee dee depths of Faith's love for her, but until she heard the sincerity, the truth in the words that Faith was unknowingly mumbling under her breath, she had never really understood it. She did now and it completely humbled and awed her. She knew without a doubt that if whoever was in charge offered one of those deals to Faith, that Faith would take the one that ensured she ended up with her, Buffy, or spared Buffy pain, no matter what the cost to herself.

"Stop it. Stop doing this to yourself. You're not any of those things you are always accusing yourself of," Buffy whispered to Faith, as she gently lifted her face up. She waited patiently for Faith to look at her.

Faith looked up at Buffy, "I said that all out loud didn't I..." Faith mumbled out sheepishly. Christ she really was an idiot!

"Yeah you did... And Faith, this whole night, everything; from the bath, to this beautiful pendant you had made for me, to the dinner, it was... It is all special. And yeah, a lot of what happened to both of this year was of the bad, and I was part of that bad. I treated you like shit when you first came back..." Buffy delicately put her fingers against Faith's mouth to stop her protest, she had been an asshole when Faith first had come back, they both knew it and there was no point in denying it. "...I did. We both know it... Yet you stayed and this isn't coming out right either. I love you Faith. I know you love me, I guess up until this moment I didn't truly know or understand how much, but I do now. And I wouldn't trade one second of this last year I spent with you if it meant that I would lose you in the end. And I sure as hell wouldn't let you go through any of it again so that you could spare me from any of it. I want you in my life, I need you in my life and if that means that I too would have to go through it all again for that to happen I would do it. So stop doubting and putting yourself down. I wouldn't change anything about you, not one thing. I love you for who you are, all the good, all the bad. Just speak from your heart and I will always understand what it is that you're trying to say."

Buffy sat up and pulled a now openmouthed Dark Slayer up with her. She twisted around a little until she was facing Faith fully. She clasped both of Faith's hands in-between her own. She started to lean towards Faith speaking softly, "And today the way you were, shy, cute, loving, all your little quirks, and just now... All that you said just now..."

She whispered the last part against the Dark Slayer's lips before she captured them with her own, "...made me fall even more deeply in love with you... all over again."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They sat facing each other kissing softly, tenderly. There was passion, desire, want and need in their kisses. But it was the slow building type of passion and the tentative kisses that souls just getting to know each other might share. They slowly explored the taste, the texture of each other as if for the first time. Their hearts beating a frantic cadence, their palms both unaccountably sweaty and their kisses almhesihesitant and shy.

In some ways, it was like the first time for both of them. They had beaten so many odds this past year. They had beaten their individual pasts, their shared past, their shared illusions and saw beyond the daily façade or masks they had both presented to the world and each other. They had lived through a hell that would have shattered others onlyonly served to make them both stronger, individually and together. They shared an intimacy that went deeper than most people could achieve with their soul-mate's in a lifetime, in many lifetimes together.

They were at a crossroad of sorts. They had found in each other what they both had been looking for most of their lives. There was no turning back for either of them now; they couldn't even if they wanted to. They each were a part of the other in ways that even they themselves couldn't explain. They had made a lifetime commitment to each other during their time here, though neither had ever spoken the words aloud to the other.

While they were kissing, it suddenly dawned on Buffy that she had never been with someone for a whole year. Not even Angel, not in a real way. Their relationship, hers and Angel's, had been different on so many levels that even though they may have technically been together more than a year, how much of it had they truly been a couple? So, for her too this was all new, it was exhilarating, scary and Buffy knew she wouldn't trade one second of it for anything in the world even if she was as nervous as a virgin on her wedding night.

For Faith, now that she knew without a doubt that Buffy wasn't going anywhere, would be by her side until the day she passed from this life into the afterlife and hopefully would be with her there as well, the knowledge, the knowing of this and even more terrified the living shit out of her in a very real way. It was all new, all raw, immeasurable in the intensity of what they shared. It was overwhelming her and making her a nervous wreck, so she fell back on old habits.

The Dark Slayer leaned back from Buffy breaking their kiss and jumped up to her feet. She held out her hand, which Buffy immediately grasped with a perplexed look on her face. Neither Slayer missed the fact that both of their palms were cold, clammy, and sweaty. Faith turned her head and looked at the lake; she looked at at Buffy, raised an elegant eyebrow, and gave Buffy one of her lopsided, cocky, impish smiles.

"Maybe we should go for a swim in the lake B..." Faith smiled again, her eyes twinkling with mischief and Buffy knew she was up to something.

Buffy just smiled back, nodded her head in agreement, feeling not only her own nervousness but also Faith's as well floating around in their bond. Then she just waited for Faith to make her move, silently chuckling to herself, she loved this part of Faith, the young, carefree spirit that had managed to survive despite all that had happened.

"Last one in is a rotten egg!!!!" Faith yelled suddenly, a very uncharacteristic taunt for her. She tried to spin around, only to be stopped by Buffy who hung on tightly to her .
.

"Faith, tell me you so didn't just say that!" Buffy giggled at the Dark Slayer who just lifted an eyebrow at her again. Buffy leaned up, planted a quick kiss on the Dark Slayer's mouth then in a move that surprised Faith, Buffy pushed her on her ass and took off for the lake.

"U don't play fair B!" Faith yelled after her mate from the blanket.

Faith had her clothes off at the speed of light, a smile plastered on her face. She shook her head for the umpteenth time that day and took off after Buffy who was now standing at the edge of the lake struggling to get her shirt off.

Buffy turned her head after she managed to get her shirt off. Her mouth dropped open a little as she saw Faith running full speed towards her, gloriously naked as the day she was born. When she finally managed to drag her eyes back up to Faith's face, she saw an all too familiar look on it. Faith had let out in full force the wild child in her, which only meant one thing. Trouble! She started to struggle with the buttons on her pants, thinking that Faith was going to grab her up and toss her in clothes or no clothes. Instead, at the last second Faith jumped up. Buffy's mouth dropped open even further as she followed Faith with her eyes as she flipped midair over her head and landed in the middle of the lake with a huge splash that left Buffy soaking wet. And not the good kind of soaking wet either!

She stood gaping openmouthed at her mate who was swimming back towards her underwater. Water dripped down her forehead, off the ends of her eyelashes, the tip of her nose, finally to drip from off her chin onto the soft grass. She started sputtering, mumbling incoherently at Faith who even with her Slayer hearing couldn't hear her underwater.

Her eyes grew wide and if it were possible, her jaw would have hit the ground as Faith slowly rose out of the water in front of her. Right then, right this second, Buffy believed with all of her heart and soul that water nymph's were not myths, 'cause Faith surely was one. She couldn't move, couldn't talk, hell she couldn't even think as Faith moved gracefully, slowly, towards her. She wanted with every ounce of her being to lick off each and every single drop of water that was sliding sensually down Faith's body. Goddamn if she wasn't friggin' jealous of all those little drops of water.

Her eyes devoured the vision in front of her and she decided Faith wasn't a water nymph, no... she was a goddess. Her goddess! She watched the play of muscles as Faith moved towards her with that slow, almost predatory, graceful walk of hers. She could almost feel the play of muscles under her hands and mouth. Each little cut in her triceps, across her thighs, her shoulders. Her six-pack stomach where the drops of water pooled and created their own little river, they beckoned to her, called her name, wanted her to come and play. Buffy heard Faith's siren call and everyt oft of her, her soul most of all wanted to answer that call.

She blinked the water out of her eyes and Faith was there, right in front of her, brushing her hands, which were still holding onto the buttons of her pants, out of the way.

"Huh?" Buffy murmured, wondering if she wasn't dreaming after all.

"I said... let me help you with those B..."

Every single hair on Buffy's body stood on end at Faith's low, raspy voice, she just nodded her head dumbly. The feel of Faith's fingertips as they lightly brushed against her skin as she slid her pants down her legs made Buffy's knees weak. Then Faith was slowly gliding her silk underwear down to join her pants on the ground. Buffy grabbed almost desperately onto Faith's shoulders afraid that her knees would truly give out on her.

Faith smiled up softly at Buffy, all the teasing, nervousness in her gone. She felt a wholeness under Buffy's gaze that she just couldn't explain and for her, at this moment, all the insecurities, the fears were completely vanquished. She trailed her hands up Buffy's legs as she stood back up. Her hands slid up to the valley between Buffy's breasts, deftly she unhook the silk bra, then trailed her hands up to Buffy's shoulders and slipped the bra straps from them. She leaned in towards Buffy and kissed her softly, then leaned back and smiled warmly, swy aty at her still mute mate. She grabbed up one of Buffy's hands and pulled her towards the lake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Faith lost herself in Buffy's eyes as she continued to lead her into the lake. Neither said a word to the other, at the moment they seemed to be unnecessary. When the water was a little higher than her waist, she leaned back half-floating, half-walking, pulling Buffy closer to her to do the same. She kept moving backwards until she could no longer feel the sand of the lakebed beneath her feet. She started to float on her back with Buffy partially on top of her, resting lightly against her. She wasn't quite sure how the helis wis was working but she wasn't about to stop to figure it out. The water felt too good, so inviting, and Buffy felt so warm, so soft against her skin and that was all that mattered to her.

They floated together letting the lake pull them closer to the waterfall. The water of the lake cradling them in silken sensual warmth, soothing away the earlier nervousness they both had felt. They felt at peace, tranquil, serene, as if the lake itself had the ability to strip away all their fears, nightmares, and pain. Maybe this place, this time, was part of the healing that the Living Scroll spoke of when it said that Mother Nature would teach them how to heal. Somehow showing them the innate knowledge of the gift they shared with each other, showing them together they could, they were, healing each other. That they were stronger for the fact that they had turned towards each other in a time of crisis, that they had learned implicitly to trust the other despite their own insecurities, pain, and fears. They were strong alone, but they were unbeatable together and the thread, the Soul-Thread they shared ensured that neither Slayer, even after death would ever be alone again.

They stopped floating and started to tread water when they came within a foot or two of the waterfall. They held hands as they watched the water cascading down over the side of the cliff. They swam into the waterfall, and Buffy helped to pull Faith up onto the small ledge directly under it. They moved towards each other without a word. They stood facing each other, their hands clasped, entwined with the other's, down by their sides. They leaned towards each other and kissed with the same pounding fury of the water falling on them. They could feel its power, its pure bright energy; its oneness with the lake, with nature, as the crystalline water beat down on them. They felt that same power, energy, oneness within themselves and with each other It It all rippled under their skin, in their hearts, in their souls, the wholeness within themselves, the feeling of somehow being just simply more with each other. Complete, whole as individuals, but more complete, more whole, if that were possible with each other. They kissed with a passion, with a love for each other that would have stunned Aphrodite herself. There was no urgency in their kiss; there was just their deep-seeded need to share this most intimate of touches with the other.

For the Chosen Two, kng, ng, sharing the other's breath, taste, in the most simplest, most common of human touches was more intimate than making love. For them, when they kissed, it went beyond just mouths, lips and tongues, beyond the physical, for them when they kissed, they touched, held, and caressed each other's souls. It was a gift Buffy had given to Faith with her first morning kiss and a gift that Faith had given back to Buffy when she returned that very first morning kiss. It was a gift that they had only ever given to each other, a gift that they had never shared with another and never would.

They stood kissing under the waterfall until even they couldn't stand against the hammering wrath of the water any longer. They smiled at each other and dove as one back into the sapphire lake, still without any words. They swam towards the other side, towards the hot spring, this time it was Faith who lifted Buffy up onto the ledge. She sat her gently down on the natural seat within the hot spring. She moved close and stood between Buffy's legs. She wrapped her arms around Buffy's waist and lay her head down, ear pressed over Buffy's heart and listened to the steady, even rhythm of its beat.

Buffy leaned down a little and rested her cheek against the top of Faith's head. One hand pressed delily tly tracing circles between Faith's shoulder blades, her other hand on Faith's head. She began to stroke, run her fingers through Faith's hair, lovingly, soothingly, luxuriating in the warmth of Faith's skin, her breath caressing her own flesh.

They wallowed in, savored, the feel of the other, the texture of the other's skin, the other's touch. They reveled in the joy, the knowing, the love they held for each other, they surrounded, drowned themselves in it and in this moment. This moment, that for both of them was all they were to each other, all they felt for each other, it was heaven, it was perfection, it was them and who they were to and with each other. They didn't need words, they knew innately the other felt the same and this too humbled and awed them. The bond they shared was a gift, just like the love they shared and it was in the truest sense, a gift that they could only have with and give to each other.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well that's the last of it," Buffy picked up the suitcase and moved it over to the door with the other four. She turned around and saw Faith just sitting on the chaise lounge staring absently at the door and the suitcases. "Okay Clotho you can fade our new wardrobe back home now..." she yelled out into the thin air knowing the Immortal would hear her. Sure enough a few seconds later the five huge suitcases faded right in front of her eyes.

They had said their goodbyes to all the Immortals at breakfast that morning at Mars'. A few tears had escaped despite all their best intentions. It wasn't like they would never all see each other again. Still it wouldn't be the same, both she and Faith had gotten used to seeing them all almost everyday. In fact, they had seen Lilith, Clotho and Mars everyday and they had spent more time with those three then any of the other Immortals combined. It was going to be an adjustment for both of them, especially for Faith, who over time had come to think of Mars as the Father she never had.

"I'm still trying to figure out how the hell we managed to acquire so much stuff since we've been here and there's not even a mall in sight."

Faithled led wanly at Buffy's attempt at humor. "We've been here four months B. I know it's only been two weeks on Earth. But it's been four months here. Did you realize that?"

"I guess I didn't. Wow... It'll be good to get home."

"Yeah... I guess..." Faith trailed off, the tops of her Doc's suddenly became very interesting.

Buffy moved closer to Faith, something was wrong. She had attributed Faith quietness all morning while they were packing to just simple fatigue. They hadn't slept at all the night before at the clearing with the waterfall. She felt her cheeks grow a little hot just thinking about it. She pushed the beautiful memory of their night spent there to the back of her mind for now. She thought Faith would be happy about going home, apparently she was wrong. She sat down next to Faith on the chaise lounge and pulled Faith onto her lap, circling her arms around her waist. She couldn't help the little smile that escaped her when Faith rested her head on her shoulder with a very heavy, dramatic sigh.

"What's wrong baby?" Faith whispered an answer against her neck that was too low for Buffy to hear, even with her Slayer hearing. She couldn't read anything in their bond and that worried her even more. "Talk to me Faith. Tell me what's wrong please..."

"I'm scared..." Faith whispered almost apologetically. The fact was she wasn't just scared, she was terrified and she hated the fact that she was. She felt almost like she was betraying Buffy by being afraid.

"Why are you scared?" Buffy began to lightly stroke Faith's back.

Faith started to nervously play with, pluck at the leg of her pants. She wasn't sure she could even explain what was scaring her. She had already almost convinced herself that whatever came out of her mouth would be fucked up and completely wrong. She had been fine with going home right up until they started to pack.

"Just tell me what's in your heart Faith. Nothing that comes from your heart can ever be wrong. Take your time, I'm not going anywhere. 'K?" Buffy clasped Faith's nervously plucking hand with her own, she gently stroked her thumb along its back.

"'K," Faith sat up so she could face Buffy. "I'm scared everything's gonna change. That when we go back all the bad will be there again. Here I don't have a past. I'm worried I'm gonna fuck everything up again. Worried about all the temptation. I mean I know I've changed. I know I've conquered that side of myself. But still... it's so much harder there. I don't have b...b... Not even a high school diploma and we'll be slaying again. It's everything and nothing at the same time." She felt exposed somehow and needy, and she wasn't telling Buffy all that she was afraid of losing once they went back. She felt silly, but not, at the same time.

Buffy could see the need and the vulnerability in Faith's eyes; she imagined that the same things were showing in her own eyes too. She wasn't worried that Faith would slip over to the dark side again. If anything, she was more worried about herself and the almost uncontrollable rage that was still inside of her. She knew these were real fears for Faith, but Faith wasn't alone anymore, she had her and the rest of their extended family, including the Immortals to help her. As Buffy continued to stare into Faith's eyes, she knew that this wasn't all or even the heart of Faith's fears.

"You're not alone anymore Faith. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right there helping you and loving you. Me, Dawn, the Scoobs, Angel and crew, even the Immortals. You have changed and I would bet my life that no matter what temptation was put in front of you, nothing could get you to cross that line again. As for you not having a diploma, well Willow and Tara were helping you to get your GED before the shit hit the fan and I'm sure that once we get back they'll be more than happy to help you again. We both need to get jobs and if it means that we both have to work at MickeyD's flippin' burgers for a while then we will. At least we'll both smell bad and get to eat for free." The last bit managed to get a small smile from the Dark Slayer, which Buffy eagerly returned. "But that's not all that's got you worried or scared is it Fai?"

"I'm afraid everything is gonna change between us B. When we get back, you'll be home with Dawn and I'll be at the Mansion. We haven't been apart for almost a whole year and while I know that most of it was forced... It's just these four months here everything was so perfect almost, ya know. We got to see what kind of life we could have if we weren't who we are. I didn't wake up every morning wondering if today was the day I or you or we were gonna get killed by some vamp or demon. I, we got to... we built a life together here. I got to hold you in my arms every night while we slept and got to wake up with you every morning. Something I never thought I could have, or deserved. And... and I'm not sure I know how to sleep anymore without you there and... I'm just scared that when we go back it will all be different, gone... I'm sorry... I know I'm being silly... stupid even... I know you love me, know you aren't going anywhere... But this is all still so new to me, it shouldn't be, I know, but it is... I know I shouldn't be scared but I am... Our time here was special and I don't want to lose what we found here together."

Buffy listened with her whole heart and soul to everything Faith was telling her. She understood her fear, because she too, for a little while, had those same fears. She knew how hard it was for Faith to tell her all this, for Faith to need anybody, including her and Faith did need her, just like she needed Faith. The fact that Faith was turning to her, told her how far they had come in their relationship and the trust that Faith placed in her hands. For the first time ever, Buffy could see, that while Faith was afraid, none of that fear was because of old insecurities or a knee jerk reaction that Buffy would take advantage of, reject her, or break the trust that she had placed within Buffy's hands. For that, Buffy was grateful. And it just solidified in Buffy's heart the feeling that they would be able to keep and build upon what they had already started to build together here within the Immortals domain.

She idly tucked a few stray locks of hair behind Faith's ear then gently caressed the side of her face. Smiling softly at both her new habit and the way that Faith always leaned into her touch. She had never thought that such simple actions could thrill her whole being, or make her insides dance with such joy, but they did. She smiled softly again at her soul-mate who was looking at her with such vulnerability and trust and prayed silently that she was always worthy of such unconditional trust.

"I'll tell you a secret Faith. I was scared too when I first realized that we would be going home soon. Scared, until I realized that you would be there with me. That we would be going home together. I think, no I know, I was at a point in my life where I had resigned myself to the fact that I could never have a future. Never have the kind of relationship that I always wanted with someone. That for me, being a Slayer meant that I couldn't have a future, I didn't let myself think about the future beyond that minute, that day. But then you came along, came back into my life and I fell head over heels in love with you. You opened my eyes, made me see all the possibilities, showed me, helped me to remember just how beautiful the world can truly be. Now I want that future and I want it with you. You are my future. We can work it all out, the slaying, Dawn, jobs, you and me both going back to school. We aren't going to lose anything that we have here. We built...we have a life together that I will fight tooth and nail to keep. I have every intention of teasing you fifty years from now about how gray your hair is and how slow you're getting in your old age. And I have absolutely no intention of sleeping or waking alone and I'm not giving you that choice either. Not the best way, I guess, to ask someone to live with you... But I want us to live together, I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner, I guess I thought you would just know that it was what I wanted for us when we went home, what I hoped you wanted too."

"You want us to live together B? What about Dawn? Don't you think we should ask her first? And what about the social worker and the school. I mean I was in jail and that won't look so good." Faith blurted out, kicking herself a little, since it sounded almost argumentative. She was still a little stunned over what Buffy had said. Stunned that Buffy actually wanted to live with her, stunned even though she had thought, had actually known that Buffy wanted to live with her, had felt in their bond, seen the images there, but she had been afraid despite that knowledge to bring it up. Her own insecurities, fear of rejection once again raising its ugly head and giving those fears a voice. Living with Buffy and Dawn was something Faith wanted with all her whole heart and soul. Knowing something in your heart and actually hearing it made all the difference, made it all the more real somehow.

"I'm not worried about all that Faith. We'll work it out together. Because together we can do anything, we're the Chosen One's, the Chosen Two. Remember? And nothing can defeat us, not to mention all the people we have that are willing to help us. And we'll do it in the same house, cause I don’t' want to wait until we figure it all out to live together. Because Faith, there is nowhere in any dimension, any realm that I could ever call home without you there... And that's because, just in case you don't already know it... You are my home Faith."

Buffy's words held Faith spellbound. She felt them wrap around her, holding her close, filling up a place inside of her with warmth, wlovelove, that she hadn't realized, until this second, had been empty and cold for the whole of her life. Buffy's words made her feel cherished, special, worthy and loved like never before. This time it was Faith who gave up a silent prayer that she was always worthy of the unconditional love and trust that her soul-mate placed in her.

"You're my home too Buffy... You have been since the first time I held you in my arms."

They just stared at each other with goofy-ass grins on their faces. They felt silly, giddy and a little embarrassed all at once. What they had said to each other was corny, mushy and the kind of shit that all the gothic romance novels gushed, the same novels both Slayers had read on the sly when they were younger. They really didn't care though. Because the thing about the outright corny-trite-mushy-dreamy-romantic-dribble they had both just spouted to each other, was that it made them both feel great! No! It made them feel that downright, fucking wonderfully clichéd, warm fuzzy feeling inside -- although they both would have cut out their own tongues before ever admitting it.

They rose from the chaise lounge together. Without thought, they reached for each other's hands and took one last look around at the cottage. They had come so far here together, they had cried, screamed, laughed and found their way back to each other within these four walls.

They made their way slowly over to the front door.

They had come te coe cottage that first night broken, tormented, scared, hurting, feeling alone and in pain.

They opened the door and stepped out into the bright morning sun, whole, strong, loved, together, secure in each other, themselves and firmly on the road towards healing.

They softly closed the door behind them; they headed down the path towards the portal, stood in front of it and smiled at each other.

Without a backwards glance, they walked into the portal as one and towards their future together.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...find me here ~ speak to me ~ i want to feel you ~ i need to hear you ~ you are the light ~ that is leading me ~ to the place ~ where i find peace again ~ you are the strength ~ that keeps me walking ~ you are the hope ~ that keeps me trusting ~ you are the life ~ to my soul ~ you are my purpose ~ you are everything ~ and how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you ~ would you tell me how could it be any better than this...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gary made his way carefully through the kitchen and out the sliding glass doors that led to the enclosed garden of the house that he and James shared next door to the Slayers. His steps were slow, even and cautious, he could have made the trip easier by taking a sip or two of his martini before he began his journey to the back yard, but to his way of thinking that would have been just way too easy. He idly wondered where James was, he hadn't mentioned having anything to do today when Gary had run out early this morning on an emergency call. He wasn't worried though, it was, after all, almost Sunday afternoon cocktail hour or rather Tea, so he knew James would be along shortly.

He set down his martini on the glass side table and gave himself an imaginary congratulatory pat on the back for not having spilled a single solitary drop. He made himself comfortable on one of the four plush loungers and once again, carefully picked up his martini. He brought it slowly towards his mouth, licking his lips in anticipation of that first taste. God he loved lazy Sunday afternoons.

"GIZ!!!"

"FAI!!!"

"B!!! B!!!! OH B!!!!"

"FAITH!!!"

"HURRY!!! PLEASE B... PLEASE!!!!"

Gary started choking on the one and only sip of his martini he was going to get, because he was wearing the rest. "Son of a bitch!" he snarled wiping at the vodka all over his chest.

"THANK GOD B!!!!"

Gary slammed his glass down on the table and got up, so much for relaxing outside this afternoon. He really needed to talk to James and the Wicca's about some kind of soundproofing spell, especially with the Energizer Slayer-Bunniesnextnext-door neighbors. He got up from the lounger and started to make his way back over to the sliding doors, then Buffy's voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

"No way Faith. There is no way that is going to fit."

"Yes it will trust me."

"It's too big! What were you thinking? It's huge!"

"No it's not. It'll fit I know it will."

"No!"

"Come on you promised."

"I know I promised. Why the hell did you get such a big one?"

"Cause I liked it. It was the thickest, nicest one. If you had come with me then you could have helped me pick it out. You knew I never had one of these before, unlike you. I know it's a little bit big... but just let me try, please B... Come on just open up just a little more and let me in, at least let me try. I'll be careful, I promise... If it doesn't fit I'll take it back and get a smaller one, I swear! Please Giz..." Faith's voice trailed off and Gary didn't have to see her face to know that she was pouting.

He shudder a little at the visuals he so did not want to be having that were going through his head. He silently cursed the wonderful acoustics in his garden thanks to the walls that surrounded both his garden and the Slayers.

"Faith... baby... you can't bring it back. They don't do returns on this kind of stuff. And... and... it's just so... so huge baby. I know it won't fit!"

"Just let me try B. I'll be careful. Please..."

Gary reached for the sliding door and then stopped dead in his tracks for the second time.

"Come on Buffy let her try. If it doesn't fit maybe I can or we can make it fit, make it smaller. Gary and I had the same problem once, I'm sure we can fix it, make it fit."

"Oh... Don't pout, pouting is so not fair! I can't resist you when you pout, you know that. Damn it, all right you win, please be careful and only if James stays and helps."

"You’re the best Giz! Now open up wide..."

Gary had spun and started running for the gate that led out of the garden the second he had heard James' voice. He could not believe the thoughts that were going through his head; he ran out of the garden and burst through the gate that led into the Slayers' garden.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ONNOOOHSHIT...." He screamed skidding to a halt and almost falling, totally unprepared for the sight in front of him.

Three pairs of eyes turned towards him, the conversation they all just had flashing through their brains in a millisecond tnd they burst out laughing when all three of them realized exactly what Gary had thought was happening.

"So..." James drawled, "You going to help us bring inside this Rockefeller size Christmas Tree or are you going to stand there with your mouth hanging open drooling all afternoon?" James couldn't help but to start laughing again as Gary just stood there in his vodka soaked t-shirt, mouth hanging open, eyes blinking rapidly.

"I ah... I... oh you would'nt believe what I was thinking. I don't want to believe what I was thinking. Bad, really bad visuals!" Then Gary's own warped sense of humor kicked in and he started laughing at his own stupidity. He shrugged sheepishly, "What? What was I supposed to think when we live next-door to the Energizer Bunnies?"

They all started laughing again, "Come on G help us get this big bad boy inside will ya...."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Continued in Chapter XXXII – Breathing & Everything (Part B)