Truth Denied
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
64
Views:
22,817
Reviews:
75
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0
Currently Reading:
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Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
64
Views:
22,817
Reviews:
75
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 53/62
They spent the night at Spike's place, none of them wanting any of them to be alone, not now when there was a maniac god and his minions running around. Protection came in numbers, and while the protection may not be great, it was better than nothing.
Ben looked over their weapons, and was impressed by Spike's choices. “You obviously know how to fight, and the difference between Damascus and low carbon steel weapons. These are all excellent, and some in exquisite shape for their age; these throwing stars alone could have come from the Boxer rebellion.” He gingerly examined them with his fingers.
“You're actually quite right about those stars, nicked them off a fighter while dodging into an alley for a bite to eat. Were nice and shiny then, my girl liked shiny things. We played blood on the river with them for a few nights, was fun.”
He looked away, then up at Xander. “We can make our own games, and we don't have to outdo Dru, she was nutters, she needed the pain as badly as I did, worse, she couldn't come out of her clouds till she was a bloody mess half the time.”
Xander looks pointedly at Ben, they hadn't told Ben anything about Spike and Greg's history, did he really want to say anything? Then again, he could just say kinky and never mention Greg, he just wanted Spike protected.
“Ben knows I'm kinky, he's helped me put ointment on my back where I couldn't reach before when Steve wasn't available. Don't worry.” Spike patted his hand and smiled softly.
“Spike... I don't know if I could ever beat you till you bleed... never mind that, I don't think I could ever beat you!” Xander looked up at him with a creased with worry brow, holding his hand, worried this was a deal breaker.
“And I won't get it elsewhere but from you.... are you against learning about it? About maybe learning to hit me? Or maybe watching as I get beat? You'd be totally in charge, you'd pick who, how long, everything, promise, but would you be up for that?” Spike asked, nervously, because this really was a deal breaker. He needed that release, and if Xander wasn't able to give him this precious release, he'd need to find it elsewhere, and if Xander didn't let him out of their relationship just for that... he'd have to cheat... and hate himself the entire time for it. He just knew he would, it wasn't planned or anything, he just knew it was an eventuality, and he didn't want it to happen. He prayed to whoever was listening that Xander would be okay with it.
“I... guess I can learn about it with you, do they have seminars or anything for beginners?” Xander looked at him with trust in his eyes.
“Yes,” he smiled. “They have seminars for everything you can possibly dream of, and we can go when we're ready, no worries darling.” He stroked Xander's hand and smiled softly. “Besides, don't need it every night.”
Xander stroked his hair with his free hand, “But you need it, regularly, and if you could, often so you wouldn't need to break down in order to get some, urm, treatment, right? You'd want it regular, so it wouldn't have to be brutal every time, right? Or am I very far off?” Xander looked up at him, honest curiosity on his face.
“We-ell, yeah, if I get it more proper and reasonably spaced out, I wouldn't need it so dire and hard when I need it. I don't think anyways...”
“So yeah... I want to learn, I want to make you happy Spike, and besides,” he smiled and massaged his butt cheek. “I wanna learn the proper way to spank you, want to do it right so you like it best... don't want to screw it up!” Xander blushed as he said this, but he was serious and looked up at Spike as he said it. Spankings weren't real beatings, and besides, he'd learn how to do it right so he didn't hurt Spike wrong... that was good, right? He rubbed his hands together as he convinced himself he could do it.
Spike looked down at him and gasped in longing, his knee quivering in need. He held it to still it and looked at Xander. “You'd really do something so... daft to keep me happy?”
Xander smiled and cupped his cheek. “It's not daft if it's out of love.” He kissed Spike softly on the lips, just a fleeting caress, then pulled back. “I love you, you know that... I just wish I could jump in that chamber with you... I might be able to... with time...”
“And that's one thing we don't have,” Spike said, tracing Xander's lip with his thumb.
“I know. I'm sorry. Ben I'm sorry... we're going to have to find another way, some way, something, to do this in time.” Ben nodded.
“Right, well, we could always go back to the magic shop and ask her help, that Lakshmi person. She helped us a lot with the glasses, and who knows how handy this candle will be in the future, something like this is not a gift to scoff at. She's probably willing to help us if we ask.” Ben looked at them, at the dawning of reality on Spike's face and confusion on Xander's.
“She's the... uh... I'll say woman till I'm shown otherwise, but I ain't sure she's human. She sold us the glasses that let me see through their glamours and get through their traps when I broke in and broke out. It's why it was so easy. They kept throwing up glamour traps and I kept not seeing them and just walking through thanks to the amber lenses. She also gave us that candle, didn't need it that night, but we still might. You're right Xander, never know, never look a gift horse in the mouth. And you're right Ben, who knows, she may be willing to help, it's not like we're on the side of evil or anything, so it's not like she'll be helping the dark if she helps us....” Spike nodded and gripped Xander's hands. “You'll like her, she's peaceful, almost like Glinda was, just feels.... older more powerful... but the same, it's weird, but I think you'll like her.” He smiled at Xander.
Memories hit Xander, of how she died, of how no one noticed, of how Willow nearly destroyed the world, and he blinked back tears. “Oh Tara, I miss her. You know, she was the one person the First never took the form of? I think it was because she was too good, she never had a drop of demon or anything evil in her for the First to draw her image back to earth... Oh Tara...” He sniffled silently, just remembering, while Ben looked curiously on. There was obviously a long story here that he was not privy to, yet, yet Xander could tell, as confused as he was, he’d only be more confused with an answer.
“Let's go,” Xander said, nodding, blowing his nose and patting his eyes dry. “If she's anything like Tara, let's go now, she'll help us.” He got up and reached for his wallet and keys.
Spike nodded. “Let's do it, sooner it's done, sooner we have our answers, sooner this mark is off our backs.” He got up and got his wallet and keys too.
Ben chuckled and got his jacket. “You guys, who needs a secret police, when we've got us? We can do anything when we set our minds to it!”
Spike held up his hand and muttered, “don't get cocky.” And headed out, locking up after them.
Least we got the beginnings of a plan, better than just pacing.
Ben looked over their weapons, and was impressed by Spike's choices. “You obviously know how to fight, and the difference between Damascus and low carbon steel weapons. These are all excellent, and some in exquisite shape for their age; these throwing stars alone could have come from the Boxer rebellion.” He gingerly examined them with his fingers.
“You're actually quite right about those stars, nicked them off a fighter while dodging into an alley for a bite to eat. Were nice and shiny then, my girl liked shiny things. We played blood on the river with them for a few nights, was fun.”
He looked away, then up at Xander. “We can make our own games, and we don't have to outdo Dru, she was nutters, she needed the pain as badly as I did, worse, she couldn't come out of her clouds till she was a bloody mess half the time.”
Xander looks pointedly at Ben, they hadn't told Ben anything about Spike and Greg's history, did he really want to say anything? Then again, he could just say kinky and never mention Greg, he just wanted Spike protected.
“Ben knows I'm kinky, he's helped me put ointment on my back where I couldn't reach before when Steve wasn't available. Don't worry.” Spike patted his hand and smiled softly.
“Spike... I don't know if I could ever beat you till you bleed... never mind that, I don't think I could ever beat you!” Xander looked up at him with a creased with worry brow, holding his hand, worried this was a deal breaker.
“And I won't get it elsewhere but from you.... are you against learning about it? About maybe learning to hit me? Or maybe watching as I get beat? You'd be totally in charge, you'd pick who, how long, everything, promise, but would you be up for that?” Spike asked, nervously, because this really was a deal breaker. He needed that release, and if Xander wasn't able to give him this precious release, he'd need to find it elsewhere, and if Xander didn't let him out of their relationship just for that... he'd have to cheat... and hate himself the entire time for it. He just knew he would, it wasn't planned or anything, he just knew it was an eventuality, and he didn't want it to happen. He prayed to whoever was listening that Xander would be okay with it.
“I... guess I can learn about it with you, do they have seminars or anything for beginners?” Xander looked at him with trust in his eyes.
“Yes,” he smiled. “They have seminars for everything you can possibly dream of, and we can go when we're ready, no worries darling.” He stroked Xander's hand and smiled softly. “Besides, don't need it every night.”
Xander stroked his hair with his free hand, “But you need it, regularly, and if you could, often so you wouldn't need to break down in order to get some, urm, treatment, right? You'd want it regular, so it wouldn't have to be brutal every time, right? Or am I very far off?” Xander looked up at him, honest curiosity on his face.
“We-ell, yeah, if I get it more proper and reasonably spaced out, I wouldn't need it so dire and hard when I need it. I don't think anyways...”
“So yeah... I want to learn, I want to make you happy Spike, and besides,” he smiled and massaged his butt cheek. “I wanna learn the proper way to spank you, want to do it right so you like it best... don't want to screw it up!” Xander blushed as he said this, but he was serious and looked up at Spike as he said it. Spankings weren't real beatings, and besides, he'd learn how to do it right so he didn't hurt Spike wrong... that was good, right? He rubbed his hands together as he convinced himself he could do it.
Spike looked down at him and gasped in longing, his knee quivering in need. He held it to still it and looked at Xander. “You'd really do something so... daft to keep me happy?”
Xander smiled and cupped his cheek. “It's not daft if it's out of love.” He kissed Spike softly on the lips, just a fleeting caress, then pulled back. “I love you, you know that... I just wish I could jump in that chamber with you... I might be able to... with time...”
“And that's one thing we don't have,” Spike said, tracing Xander's lip with his thumb.
“I know. I'm sorry. Ben I'm sorry... we're going to have to find another way, some way, something, to do this in time.” Ben nodded.
“Right, well, we could always go back to the magic shop and ask her help, that Lakshmi person. She helped us a lot with the glasses, and who knows how handy this candle will be in the future, something like this is not a gift to scoff at. She's probably willing to help us if we ask.” Ben looked at them, at the dawning of reality on Spike's face and confusion on Xander's.
“She's the... uh... I'll say woman till I'm shown otherwise, but I ain't sure she's human. She sold us the glasses that let me see through their glamours and get through their traps when I broke in and broke out. It's why it was so easy. They kept throwing up glamour traps and I kept not seeing them and just walking through thanks to the amber lenses. She also gave us that candle, didn't need it that night, but we still might. You're right Xander, never know, never look a gift horse in the mouth. And you're right Ben, who knows, she may be willing to help, it's not like we're on the side of evil or anything, so it's not like she'll be helping the dark if she helps us....” Spike nodded and gripped Xander's hands. “You'll like her, she's peaceful, almost like Glinda was, just feels.... older more powerful... but the same, it's weird, but I think you'll like her.” He smiled at Xander.
Memories hit Xander, of how she died, of how no one noticed, of how Willow nearly destroyed the world, and he blinked back tears. “Oh Tara, I miss her. You know, she was the one person the First never took the form of? I think it was because she was too good, she never had a drop of demon or anything evil in her for the First to draw her image back to earth... Oh Tara...” He sniffled silently, just remembering, while Ben looked curiously on. There was obviously a long story here that he was not privy to, yet, yet Xander could tell, as confused as he was, he’d only be more confused with an answer.
“Let's go,” Xander said, nodding, blowing his nose and patting his eyes dry. “If she's anything like Tara, let's go now, she'll help us.” He got up and reached for his wallet and keys.
Spike nodded. “Let's do it, sooner it's done, sooner we have our answers, sooner this mark is off our backs.” He got up and got his wallet and keys too.
Ben chuckled and got his jacket. “You guys, who needs a secret police, when we've got us? We can do anything when we set our minds to it!”
Spike held up his hand and muttered, “don't get cocky.” And headed out, locking up after them.
Least we got the beginnings of a plan, better than just pacing.