Complement

XXXI – Promises
(Part F)

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Two days later, Buffy spentt oft of their last full day within the Immortals domain watching Faith covertly. Faith was up to something, Buffy just knew it and she had pulled Lilith, Mars, Clotho and Buffy suspected even Lily into her little conspiracy. Had Buffy been another kind of person she would have been sneaking around in the bond they shared trying to find what it was that Faith was hiding from her. But she wasn't that kind of person, it would be an invasion of privacy or rather a virtual rape of Faith's mind and there was no way in hell that Buffy would ever do something like that to Faith.

It was kind of cute, even if it was frustrating. Since they had gotten up this morning Faith had stumbled, fumbled and stuttered over almost every word she had spoken. Buffy caught Faith sneaking peeks at her constantly and she was being extremely shy. Nor did Buffy miss that each time Faith exchanged a secretive look with one of the Immortals during the course of the day she blushed. Buffy had butterflies in her stomach all day just imagining what it was that Faith had planned for them. With each blush, each look, each flustered word, each whispered conversation Faith had and each touch, each kiss Faith bestowed upon her, Buffy fell just that little bit more in love with Faith. And each time she looked at Faith during the course of the day the only thing she could think, to steal Faith's standard retort, Yeah B, fucking adorable, that's me, was that she couldn't agree more; Faith was absolutely fucking adorable!

She sighed a little, pouted a little, but deep down inside she was just plain ol' jumping up and down in anticipation. Joy and a whole myriad of other feelings streaking through her and she almost felt like a teenager who had fallen in love for the first time. That was the thing though, wasn't it? She had done the whole falling in love, dating, relationship thing before, but Faith never had. So it was all new to Faith and because of their bond, but mostly because it was Faith, she was experiencing it all as if it were truly the first time for her as well. She felt like a part of her innocence, her youth, had been given back to her. She relished the feelings, coveted them and wrapped them around her like a warm woolen coat. For the most part in the last few weeks, they had both discovered together what it was to be young, carefree, spontaneous, almost innocent and Buffy's only wish was that they would not lose it all, more for Faith's sake then her own when they returned to Sunnydale on the morrow.
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Faith was a nervous wreck; she wanted everything to be perfect. She mentally shook her head; she needed to get a grip, hell she needed to be able to get a word out without stuttering! The most complete sentence she had managed to say since getting up this morning was; Good morning, Giz. What was it about Buffy that made her feel so shy, so nervous, so damn young, so out of control? She wanted in the most desperate way for their last night here to be special for Buffy. Wanted Buffy to keep this memory, their time here, despite all the anguish, the pain they had dealt with here, close to her heart. She was further determined that they would lose nothing of what they had found here with each other when they returned to Sunnydale and their lives as Slayers.

She had spent most of the last four hours during their training session with the Immortals, on her ass. She was knocked down, disarmed and thrown across the room more times today then she had the whole time they had been here. M' fo' found it hilarious and spent the day mercilessly teasing her every chance he got when Buffy was out of earshot and he was taking every opportunity to knock her on her butt because of how distracted she was. You would think he would take it easy on her, considering he was part of the conspiracy and knew what was going on! She silently swore to herself as she picked herself off the floor once again, that she was going to kick his ass from here to his namesake in Earth's solar system as soon as she got her shit together again.

She turned around to face him once she was standing. He was giving her one of his little smirks, his eyebrow raised and his eyes sparkling with amusement. She gave him her best glare in return and he outright laughed at her then the amusement faded from his eyes and they grew serious.

"Come take a walk with me Slayer." Mars' commanded, in full-scale Incarnate of War mode.

"Hey what's going on?" Buffy yelled across the room as she saw Faith and Mars' making their way out of the training center.

"Faith and I are going for a little walk to have a chat about her performance today. It is not for you to worry about, we'll be back shortly." Mars' tone left no room for argument and Buffy knew the little walk he was taking Faith on had nothing whatsoever to do with whatever it was Faith and the Immortals were planning.

She felt a little sympathy for Faith, she knew how much Faith, how much both of them looked up to the Incarnate of War. They both had a little bit of hero worship going on where he was concerned and though Faith had never said anything, Buffy had the feeling that Faith looked to him as more like the father she never had and Buffy had a sneaky suspicion that Mars' looked at Faith as the daughter, child he never had. Buffy waved goodbye to Faith, flashed an understanding smile and got a small smile in return.
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They strolled down to the lake, Faith waited patiently for Mars' to begin talking. He stood with his back to her, staring out over the blue landscape of the lake, his hands clasped behind his back, his stance almost regal. He radiated a dangerous air, a commanding presence and Faith knew that right now the man standing in front of her wasn't her friend, her family, her mentor, but the Incarnate of War. This was a man who was used to his orders, commands, being followed without question, a man of power, a man whose justice was swift, but fair. Yet, there was still an air of compassion about him, an air that spoke of doing the right thing. A man who valued life above all else and would only take one as a last resort. He had on what he laughing referred to as his Command, his Incarnate of War mask.

If she was honest with herself, she felt a little intimidated by him right now. Unconsciously she mimicked his pose and unknowingly her face was impassive, her eyes hard, but compassionate, like his and she radiated the same air as he did.

"Did Buffy tell you that she and I spoke privately the day after the Little One blew up?" Mars' asked Faith, still with his back turned.

"Yes," Faith told him, wondering what this had to do with her performance or lack of it today.

"Did she tell you what we spoke of?" Still he did not turn around.

"Yes. But what does this hav..." Faith trailed off when he raised his hand for her to stop. She noticed that his speech was very formal and his tone even, unemotional, calm.

Buffy had come to him with her fears over her reaction to what had happened that day with Dawn. Her fear of the darkness inside of her, the rage she now carried with her from what had happened to both she and Faith and her inability to let it go, or control it. She was afraid of hurting someone, terrified because she knew that a few short weeks ago, she would have struck out regardless of the consequences. She had done it once before, even before she carried this rage inside of her, when the darkness, the power inside of her had allowed her to put a knife into the woman who was her soul-mate.

He had been waiting for Buffy to come to him, he knew this type of rage, darkness, intimately himself. What she didn't realize was that the dark side of her personality had always been with her, envy, hate, jealousy were all attributes of that darkness. That every person whether mortal or Immortal carried within both dark and light sides to their souls. That their life experiences, the core of who they were was what tipped the scales, gave life to one side or the other. More so for her and Faith then others because they were Slayers, the potential to just do whatever they felt like was there always, the temptation to put themselves above others, to think themselves better, superior and arbitrarily ignore what was right and wrong. The saying, absolute power corrupts absolutely, was one of the truest ever spoken and the Slayers had that power.

"Tell me, since you have your own experiences with the darkness, the rage to draw upon, what happens when you fight in that kind of rage?" Mars' asked her, forcing her to remember her own dark side, her own rage. He hated asking her but this was important to both the Slayers and to him as well.

"There is only the kill. Only the need to inflict pain. There is no control, no reason. It is powerful, addictive, and can be all-consuming. It can destroy you and those around you. There is just the haze and the only thing you know is what is in front of you." Faith paused, her thoughts jumbled and she searched for a way to express what it was like in that dark-haze. "There is no thought of consequences or others. It can get you killed; it makes you unaware of anything that is going on around you once the darkness controls you."

"So tell me what would have happened if you and Buffy were out Slaying today and you performed the way you did, got hurt and Buffy went into the rage?"

She already knew the answer she had seen Buffy in that type of rage before, the night she had gotten hurt in the cemetery. Had she fallen unconscious both she and Buffy would be dead, only her warning had let Buffy know another vampire was sneaking up behind her. The only thing Buffy had seen, had known that night was the vampire she was pummeling, beating viciously because he had hurt her, Faith. Giles had known it and Faith had known it for what it was. She because she had let the darkness, the rage control her for a good long while and Giles' from his days as Ripper when the darkness, the rage had almost consumed him.

"Had we been Slaying there would have been a good chance that both of us would have ended up dead." Faith understood what he was getting at now. Now more than ever she needed to focus, needed to be when she was Slaying, just the Slayer. Distractions were not an option and in reality when she, they were Slaying they never could be. She had learned that self-discipline from Angel and was being re-taught it again by the Immortals. "I understand now."

"Do you?" Mars asked finally turning around; he leveled his gaze at her and waited for her answer.

"Yes. Now more than ever I can't afford to be distracted. Can't afford to have Buffy give into the darkness. Especially now when it has the chance to own her, like it did me once. Neither of us can afford to be distracted by what is going on in our lives while we are Slaying. And not just now. We can't afford it ever. We are over protective of each other and it more than anything can get us killed. It doesn’t mean to ignore the other, or be unaware of them. It just means our best option for surviving, staying alive, is if we do what we were born to do without the outside interference of our daily lives. We need to trust each other to take care of ourselves when we are Slaying."

"And did you do that today?" Mars asked her, quirking an eyebrow.

"No and had all of you not taken it easy on me today and had actually hurt me, Buffy would have lost it on you. That's why, you've been training us separately when there is the possibility that one of us may become injured during training. Isn't it?"

"Faith..." Mars' tone softened, as did the expression on his face. "It is not an easy task to put aside the feelings you have for those you are fighting with and just be, The Slayer. Not easy to put out of your mind all the distractions, because they are not really distractions at all, they are your life with your mate. They are a part of you, of her. And right now Buffy needs you to be at your best. She has taken the first step in gaining control of the rage, the darkness by coming to us with this. But that control only extends to her personal life and your friends or rather family. I doubt that she will be able to control it while you two are slaying. You can help her with this, just as Angel helped you, in fact I am relying on you to be the one to guide her through this. She will listen to you more than she will listen to anyone else. I know with absolute certainty that you will guide her safely through this."

Faith watched his face, she knew now that this talk was about more than just her performance today. He was worried about both of them, once they left here, they would be risking their lives on a daily basis again. They all knew that the time was coming that led to the End of Days and that things on the supernatural front would be getting increasingly worse, instead of better.

"I won't fail you or Buffy." Faith solemnly promised him, then murmured low, "Or myself."

"I know you won't Faith." He moved closer to her, he grabbed both of her hands and clasped them within his own.

As she looked up at him, she saw once again the man who was her friend, the man who she thought of as a father, looking back at her.

"You and Buffy, in my heart, are my family. There is much about me you do not know, but you and I are a lot alike. How we think, react, love, who we are on the inside. I too struggled like you with the darkness and like you won against it. While both you and Buffy hold a place in my heart, you, Faith are special to me. In my heart you are the daughter I never had and I couldn't be more proud of you if you were of my own flesh and blood." He stopped for the barest of seconds; he was not a man of many words, nor one to allow this side of himself out around people. He was as he said much like Faith in this way. They both hid the sensitive, big-hearted, gentle, loyal, loving people they were behind the gruff, sarcastic mask they presented to the rest of the world. He cleared his throat then continued, "It has been my privilege and honor to be your and Buffy's trainer and it will continue to be my privilege and honor to continue both your training when you leave here tomorrow. You have both made me extremely proud."

His Incarnate of War mask came back up and he turned to go back to the training center. He stopped at Faith's gentle touch upon his arm. He turned back to face her and try as he might he could not hide the love he felt for this woman standing in front of him that he would forever think of as his daughter.

"Thank you," Faith told him softly.

She didn't know how it had happened, but over the course of her time here she had forged a bond with him. Beginning when she realized how protective he was of both she and Buffy. It had solidified and grown when she had seen the tears he had shed when Lilith and Clotho had told him all that had happened to her and Buffy when they were held captive. He did not know that she had seen him and she would never tell him that she did. The magnitude of the anger and grief he had displayed after the two Immortals had told him the tale boggled her mind. Since that time, he had done everything in his power to draw them both out and her especially. In his own way helping her to deal with what had happened not just in Slayer Hell but when she was a child as well. She had found in him what she had been looking for in the Mayor, she had found in him the father she never had.

"The honor is mine. You have done more for me and Buffy than I can ever hope to thank you or show you my gratitude for. I'm not good at this stuff but... In my heart you are the Father I've never had. It is my privilege, my honor, that you think of me as your daughter. And you are the only man I've ever known who has deserved, who I would be proud to call my Father."

They stared at each other then Mars' pulled her into a tight hug which Faith returned with everything she was. He ked ked her hair then placed a gentle kiss upon her forehead. They separated and he once again had his Incarnate of War face on, though his eyes sparkled with mischief and love. She put on her best Slayer face and stared back at him, a tiny smirk playing around her mouth.

Mars' threw his arm around her shoulder, "What say you then Infant, shall we rejoin the others?"

"Whatever you say old man!"

"Old man, I'll show you just how old I am when we get back. Hell Grasshopper, you haven't even begun to see what I can do..." He laughed a deep rumbling laugh that came from his belly.

"Whatever Candyman..." And Faith laughed with him as they made their way back to the others.
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They had been at their cottage for less than five minutes, Lilith and Clotho having joined them, when Clotho made some lame excuse about needing to go get some new thread for the Tapestry of Life and asked Buffy to go with her to help pick out the colors. That was when Buffy knew with absolute certainty that something was up and that Faith had definitely enlisted the Immortals help with whatever she had planned. She had almost said no to Clotho and then she caught the panicked look on Faith's face out of the corner of her eye and heard the soft moan of defeat come from her. Obviously, they needed her out of the way to finish or accomplish whatever it was Faith had planned and Faith seemed to think that Clotho had just blown it for her. Buffy didn't have the heart to even teasingly say no to Clotho. This, whatever this was, clearly meant a great deal to Faith and Buffy didn't want to ruin it for her.

"Sure why not. You don't mind if I go with Clotho, do you baby?" Buffy walked over to Faith and placed her hands lightly on her waist.

She watched as the relief and the joy washed over the Dark Slayer's face. It made her fall that much more in love with her.

"Nah B... Go ahead... I'll miss you though." Faith almost sighed out loud in relief when she actually managed to get the words out without stuttering. She almost had a heart attack when Clotho had uttered the lamest excuse ever to have been said since man first spoke to get someone out of the house! Especially since, if Buffy had thought about it, she would have remembered that Clotho actually spun the Threads of Life from raw silk, so there wasn't a need to go get any! Then again, had Faith not been so nervous, she would have realized that Buffy was playing along because she loved her and didn't want to ruin anything.

"I'll miss you too." Buffy leaned into Faith and gave her a sweet, tender kiss. When she pulled back, she was stunned once again by that wide-eyed awed look that Faith sometimes got. And Buffy fell just a little bit more in love with Faith again.

"Ready?" Clotho asked Buffy, who just nodded and then with a wave of her hand they faded from the cottage.
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As everything started to come into to focus, though still flickering a little, Buffy realized Clotho had faded her into the bathroom of the cottage she shared with Faith. After a second, she realized that the flickering was from the numerous scented candles that were lit throughout the bathroom, casting it in a low, shadowy sensuous light. The tub was already full, the jets on and the smell of jasmine scented the air as it rose with the steam from the hot water. She smiled softly and looked quickly around to see where Faith was hiding.

"Faith?" She called out. "Faith!" She called again a little louder. Still no response, she turned around intending to go in search of Faith and saw the note hanging on the door.

'Giz,

I hope you like the first part of my plans for you, for us, tonight. So take your time and just enjoy the bath. Your clothes for tonight are on the bed. When you're ready just go outside, Sol will be waiting outside for you, she knows where to go, I'll be there waiting for you.

Love your,
S.O.
(Don't worry about the candles or anything else. Gran and Kiddo got them covered...)'

Another soft smile graced her face; she quickly stripped out of her clothes and climbed into the bath. The temperature of the water was perfect then again, she had no doubts that it would be, Faith would know exactly how she liked the water in her bath, it was one of the little things that made Faith, Faith. No not not even Angel had paid attention to the things that Buffy liked the way Faith did. It was just one of the things on the ever-growing list of things that made Buffy love Faith even more. She leaned her head back with a grateful sigh. She lingered only a short while in the bath, it wasn't quite as much fun taking one alone. Besides, who did she think she was kidding, she missed Faith and she was eager to see her.

She padded naked out into the main room over to the bed. She looked down at the new clothes Faith had gotten for her. Everything, from the satin g-string, matching bra, to the sleeveless silk shirt with the plunging neckline, to the soft leather pants were blood red. The deepest, darkest blood red that Buffy had ever seen, the red was so dark it bordered on black. She moaned a little with pleasure as she slipped on the satin g-string and bra, another moan escaped her as she pulled the silk shirt over her head, loving the feel of it against her skin. She picked up the leather pants and they felt like butter in her hands they were so soft and they felt even softer against her skin, as she slid them on another moan of pleasure escaped her. She buttoned them up quickly, liking how they rode low on her hips. She pulled on the socks Faith had laid out and put on the new pair of black platform boots that were on the floor by the bed.

Everything fit her perfectly, not surprised at all that Faith had been able to pick out clothes that would hug and fit her in all the right places and in all the right ways.

She went back into the outer part of the bathroom to put on her makeup and do her hair. She took her time, applying colors that would bring out the gold in her eyes. She left her hair straight and long, and then sprayed herself liberally with the Armani perfume that Faith loved on her.

She took one last look at herself in the mirror and couldn't help think that the clothes Faith had picked out for her made her feel sexy and beautiful all at once. She walked out the front door and sure enough, Sol was waiting patiently there for her.

She climbed up onto the horse's back and leaned down over the mare's neck and whispered into her ear, "Sol, take me to my heart..."
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Buffy enjoyed the leisurely gait of the horse as Sol strolled lazily to their destination. Her thoughts drifted back to the last time she had been on the back of a horse, Obsidian's to be exact, and her whole body flushed just thinking about what she and Faith had done on him. She swore that Obsidian had been smirking at her for the last two days.

"So, this must be the part that Lily played in Faith's plans." Sol just nickered at Buffy in confusion. "This. Telling you, making you understand where to take me. I wonder what part the rest of them played. Do you know Sol?"

This time Sol just brayed at Buffy, tossed her head and hoped that Buffy understood that this was her equivalent of a human shrugging their shoulders.

"You're not gonna tell me, are you? You wouldn't tell me even if you could. Would you, Sol?" Buffy paused in her babbling when Sol brayed and shook her head at her again. "That's all right I really don't want to know anyway. I want to be surprised, ya know. Faith's was so cute today, all shy and blushing. I love her a lot but you probably know that. She's... I don't even know how to describe what she is to me, what she means to me. I don't think there are any words that can, any words that could come close. All I know is that I could sooner stop needing air before I stopped loving or needing her.... Ya know and...."

Buffy stopped babbling when she saw that they were leaving the property that surrounded her and Faith's cottage. Sol walked for a while on the path that ran between all the cottages in the direction that led to Atropos and Luc's cottage. Just when Buffy was beginning to think that was their destination, the mare turned off onto a trail on the left. A trail that Buffy couldn't remember ever seeing in all their time here. A trail, Buffy, in fact, knew wasn't there this morning, when she and Faith walked over to have breakfast with Atropos and Luc.

"Hey this trail wasn't here this morning. Why wasn't it here this morning?" Buffy gently stroked Sol's long neck, not really expecting the mare to answer her.

She wondered where Sol was taking her because it looked like the trail ended only a few feet ahead of them at a very large, grand, old oak tree. All she could see was a solid wall of trees, so close that their main trunks seemed to brush against each other. Where seconds before there had been no path between the trees now there was one and then they were inside the thick forest. The canopy of trees almost obliterated the dark blue sky above. The twin moons, one a soft cobalt blue, the other a soft gold, cast filtered light down and created dark shadows on the trunks of the trees and the lush thick green grass of the forest floor. Buffy looked up in awe as they moved deeper into the thicket of the forest. The trees seemed almost to touch the sky, as if the branches were reaching up, so the leaves upon them could bathe in the light of the twin moons. They seemed to shimmer and glow, ranging in the deepest, darkest greens, browns, oranges, and yellows Buffy had ever seen.

Thick woody vines grew along the canopy of the trees, some as thick as her body. Flowers grew on the vines, orchids, mosses, and another type that Buffy didn't recognize. The flowers were a brilliant, vibrant rainbow of different colors and some of the most beautiful flowers Buffy had ever seen. They almost made her catch her breath.

They suddenly emerged from the forest and Buffy's breath did catch at the beauty of the clearing in front of her. It was a rather large clearing and the grass here was even thicker, it looked like a sea of deep green velvet. She slid from Sol's back and she could feel the softness of the grass even through her platform boots, she took a few steps forward and it felt like she was walking on clouds.

She heard a roaring in her ears and at first thought it was the pounding of her heart, when she realized what it was she turned her head to the right. Her eyes saw the sheer rock face first then moved to the sparkling waterfall pouring over from its top. It cascaded down the rock face with fury, pounding into the clear blue lake, creating white-capped waves in the crystalline water below. She saw steam rising from the sapphire water a little to the left and realized it was a hot-spring. Only instead of the sulfuric smell that hot-springs usually gave off, this one smelled how the earth smelled after it rained on a hot summer day, musky, deep, erotic. It was exotic, passionate, stimulating. It was alive. No one had to tell Buffy that this place was enchanted.

She looked around quickly. The clearing was completely enclosed on three sides by a thick blanket of trees, the fourth side by the mountain with the beautiful waterfall. She didn't see Faith anywhere, but she could feel her and knew she wasn't far. She walked further into the clearing towards the large blanket on the ground. A picnic basket that was the size of a rather large hope chest, sat on the blanket. There was a low wood table on the blanket and large soft looking pillows were scattered upon it, a fire was off to one side in a natural earthen hearth, casting flickering shadows across the light brown blanket. And Buffy was reminded of the night at the Mansion that she and Faith had made love for the first time.

She took off her boots and socks wanting to feel the grass beneath her bare feet. She rubbed them on the lush grass, squished her toes into the warmth of the ground and sighed with unadulterated pleasure. As she walked the few steps to the blanket in her bare feet she really began to believe that she was walking on clouds.

She stepped onto the blanket and then stopped when she realized she probably should have wiped off her feet first. She stepped back off the blanket, lifted up a foot and was surprised to see that her feet were clean despite the fact that she had dug her toes into the warm moist earth. She laughed, she should have known better. She walked across the blanket and made herself comfortable against the large pillows. They were as soft as they looked. She noticed next to the picnic basket two wine glasses and a bottle of Merlot. Then her eyes grew wide when she saw the black box and envelope with a rather large 'B' written in Faith's handwriting next to the wine bottle.

She scrambled across the blanket and grabbed up the envelope and the box. She scooted back and made herself comfortable against the pillows once again. She opened the envelope and pulled out the card. The front of the card had a pastel drawing of the sun rising over a beach. She opened the card and began to read.
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'B,

The first time I wrote this card was at the mansion. You were sleeping in the bed, you looked so innocent, so peaceful, so beautiful that I forgot how to breathe. I sat there for hours watching you sleep, listening to your deep even breathing and tried to convince myself I wasn't dreaming. I can't even remember now how many times I had whispered to you that I loved you that night, wanting more than anything to say those three little words to you while you were awake. I was afraid though and you, god, you understood that and I will be forever grateful that you waited for me to find the courage to tell you that I love you. I spent that night trying so hard to figure out how to even put into words on the piece of paper I sat clutching in my sweating hands what I could not say to you out loud. How to tell you all the things you were to me, all the things I was learning from you, with you. All the things you had given to me. All the things I longed to have with you, give to you. All my dreams, all my secrets. How even then you were making them come true, one by one. How every day you made another wish, another dream come true. I can only hope that someday I can do the same for you. And now, I can't even begin to express what I feel for you, what you've given me. I'm not good with words, with expressing myself, I never was. All I can say is that I am eternally grateful that you always hear what it is that I am trying to say and not just the words. The night I first wrote this I decided to use a poem I had found while I was in prison. The poem spoke to a part of me that I had tried to keep hidden for as long as I could remember and more than anything I wanted to share with someone all of the things that are in the poem. And day by day even only those few short weeks after we were together you started giving them all to me, I only hope that I give them all to you too. So I decided now, like then, to let the poem speak for me.'
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Do you always trust your first initial feeling
Special knowledge holds truth bears believing
I turned around
And the water was closing all around
Like a glove
– Stevie Nicks

Promises

i sit upon the moonlit shore, watching and listening to the earth as she breathes
the gentle beating of her heartbeat lulls me
softly she calls to me whispered promises in the dark
her breath caressing and cradling me
and i lay back upon the h gih giving myself over to her embrace
to sleep, to dream
and here now, in this place, she shares with me the secrets she keeps, and nds nds me of the knowledge i keep
and she reawakens in me the meaning of intimacy and of love

intimacy
is the wooing, the romance, the first baby steps towards giving someone your trust...
it is the laughter, the fumbling, the knowing what to say, it is the right music without any sound…
it is the whisper of touches, the warmth of another presence, the moment affixed right where it should be…
it is the kiss that carries more than just passion....
it is soft and revealing….
it is rejoicing in the brushing of one's skin with just a glance, which means more to you than anything else just then…
it is communicating without a word..
it is comfortable silences, it is knowing each other's moods without having to ask..
it is the comfort of another’s arms...
it is knowing intimacy doesn’t guarantee love, but rather carrieth ith it the promise of love...

love
is honest, nurturing, frightening, exhilarating, confusing, enlightening but, most of all beautiful…
it is emerging from the darkness, knowing that you have shielded what you have created for one another...
it is honor, it is passionate, in every sense…
it is natural...
it is the opening of heart, mind, body and soul to another...
it is total vulnerability...
it is fragile, innocent, it is the most precious gift we can give to another...
it is independence...
it is forgiving…
it is perfect, even if those experiencing it are not…
it is both simple and complicated at once…
it is the absence of secrets...
it is the ability to see what lies beneath the surface of another and resides within their soul…
it is the freedom to choose...
it is acceptance, it is supportive in one's own right…
it is ever changing, and knowing with that change comes growth…
it is autumn, it is vision and silent conversations…
it is making love with only a glance and not a touch...
it is those moments when your eyes meet and time seems to stand still, and the rest of the world ceases to exist...
it is unconditional…
it is knowing love doesn’t guarantee intimacy, but rather carries with it the promise of intimacy...
it is knowing that they are intertwined and independent...

it is this inner knowledge that i possess that she reminds me of
and as i wake to the rising sun, there is a promise that she makes to me...
if i will simply open myself to the world around me, and to my own inner self...
it is all within my reach...
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'The promise B, that she made to me that if I opened myself to the world and to myself, that it would all be within my reach came true. That promise was fulfilled by you. You are all those things to me, I feel all those things when I am with you. Every one of them, every day. Each day I fall further in love with you and I don't ever want to stop falling. I want to fall for eternity with you. I am now, like I was then amazed, awed, humbled and so honored that it is me that you choose to be with, choose to love. The gift is just a small expression of what I feel for you, it is unique, special, just lyou.you.

I love you B, I will past my last breath, past the end of time, and that is my promise to you. You are my heart and my soul.

Faith'
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Buffy stared at the card in her trembling hands, her mind a whirlwind, no one had ever said, wrote such beautiful words to her. She didn't even realize she was crying until she saw the teardrops splash silently on the card. Her whole being was humming with the love that she felt for Faith and she could feel the love Faith felt for her flow through their bond to her. It flowed through every part of her, it was a part of her, just like Faith was and she hoped that she never took for granted the bond they shared that allowed her, allowed both of them to actually, almost in a physical way, feel the emotions, the love of the other.

She looked up and then looked around again. She knew that Faith was somewhere out there watching her. She understood Faith's nervousness, the reasons why she had been acting so shy all day. A part of her was still a bit afraid of bearing her soul, of leaving herself so open and vulnerable. She felt traces of it still coming to her in an echo. She knew Faith probably wouldn't come out until after she had opened the box with the gift. She had to admit to herself that she was eager to see what it was that Faith could have gotten for her all that time ago.

She whispered softly into the quiet of the night air, knowing that Faith would hear her, "I love you Faith... Forever..."

She looked down and picked up the long black box, she ran her fingers lightly over it, then lifted off the top.

Her breath caught, her sight grew hazy and her mind spun as images flashed through it...'

...Sitting in class with Willow and Xander her senior year in high school getting ready to take a chemistry test. Taking to Willow and Xander about what she and Faith had done the night before, remembering Xander asking her; "Hey. Whoa, can we resume Buffy's ode to Faith later?" Growing quiet as Will and Xander actually started to take the test, she had been bored. Then she heard it, the soft tapping on the thick classroom window. Looking up seeing Faith there, smiling that lopsided cocky smile of hers, her nose pressed against the windowpane. That smile had made her heart start racing a million miles a minute, just like it did now. Faith opening the window and asking her; "Hey girlfriend. Bad time?" Faith leaning over to the closed window, blowing her hot breath on the pane, steaming it up. She smiled again then drew a cute little crooked heart with a stake through it on the fogged windowpane. Smiling at her once again with that cocky little smile, arching an eyebrow and her own heart had tried to beat its way out of her chest at the sight. She had gotten up from her desk, moving towardsth ath and the window as if being pulled by an invisible thread to her, ignoring Willow and Xander's protests. Taking Faith's hand as she helped her through the window, the little tingle she had felt as Faith's warm hand held hers. She remembered thinking that with her, with Faith, was where she belonged...

...The memory the images from that day faded and others took their place in her mind's eye...

The fair, Faith's first ever. Faith's mission that night, to win every single stuffed animal for her after she had said how cute they all were. How Faith had given all the stuffed animals away to little kids, when she had told her they couldn't all possibly fit in the car. How young, how innocent, carefree, Faith had seemed that day. It was her first real glimpse into who Faith really was deep down inside, who Faith had always been. How she had refused to let Faithe awe away the black and white stuffed panthers. The tickle fight that had ensued between her, Dawn and Faith when she refused to tell Faith why she wanted to keep the black and white stuffed panthers. Then the night at the Mansion the first time they had made love in front of the fireplace. Faith's glee, her excited voice, when she figured out why she had wanted to keep the panthers. "They're us! Aren't they? They remind you of us, don't they B? The light and dark slayers, the light and dark panthers! I'm right aren't I? Aren't I B?" The goofy-ass grin Faith had on her face that night. She could see them, the stuffed panthers, sitting on the bed at the Mansion and now here with them at the cottage.

Her vision cleared again as the images the memories faded and she was staring at the gift that she now knew Faith had specially made for her. She ran her fingers delicately over the pendent on a silver chain that was nestled in the black silk that lined the box. Only the pendant was more like a miniature-framed etching. The frame was an antique hand-woven oval Celtic Knot. What was in the frame of the pendant though was what had made her breath catch. It was a miniature, etched on glass and then hand painted in exquisite detail. The painted etching was of two panthers cuddling, sleeping lovingly, trustingly against each other. One panther was golden-haired the other raven-haired and around both their necks was a long black beaded necklace. Hanging on each black necklace was a heart with a stake through it.

She ran her fingers delicately over the beautiful etching. She gently lifted the pendant out of the box. She opened the clasp with shaky fingers and brought it up to put around her neck.

"Here let me do that for you B..." Faith knelt down behind Buffy and captured her hands, tenderly taking the pendant from her. "Lift your hair for me. Please." She waited patiently for Buffy to lift her hair. She placed a soft kiss against the back of Buffy's neck then clasped the pendant around Buffy's neck.

Faith wrapped her arms around Buffy from behind. She rested her head on Buffy's shoulder and her voice trembled a little, she asked her softly, "Do you like it?"

Buffy gently loosened Faith's arms from around her so she could turn around and face her. She rose up to her knees and clasped both of Faithwarmwarm, trembling hands within her own.

"It's... it's beautiful... Beautiful just like you... Beautiful in all the right ways, inside. And that letter, that poem, it was beautiful. Your words... God Faith, no one has ever said such beautiful, powerful, intense, passionate things to me. And all of those things, every last one of them you do for me. I feel all of them for you, all of them. I fall more in love with you every day. I don't ever want to stop falling either. And I want to fall for eternity with you too."

"Really?" Faith asked her hesitantly, shyly and even now after all this time, there were moments when she was afraid that she was going to wake up and it all would have been just a dream. A wonderful, exciting, loving, all consuming dream and if it was a dream she never wanted to wake up.

"Really Faith..." Buffy looked at Faith, who had lowered her eyes shyly. She hadn't missed the hesitant way she had asked her the question or the slight fear that crept into Faith's voice. "Look at me please." She waited until Faith raised those soulful eyes up to her own. She smiled a soft, sweet, loving smile when Faith finally looked at her. "Really. It's not a dream, it's real. What we have is more than I ever dreamed was possible. What I feel for you, the words, I love you, don't even begin to encompass. I want to spend every second I have left in this life with you and I want to spend all of eternity after that with you. If this is a dream then I want never to wake from it. I want to stay forever in this dream with you."

When she finished, Faith gave her one of those blinding, brilliant, radiant smiles. It shone from inside of the Dark Slayer with the force of the sun and it left Buffy breathless, stunned and basking in its warmth. She returned Faith's smile with a brilliance that was all her own.

It was inevitable that they leaned in towards each other. Their lips whispering across the other's, their breath mingling, their hearts began beating to the same cadence. A small sound of recognition came from them both, as they kissed the other's soul and their arms surrounded each other, where they found shelter, acceptance, love and a place that for both of them would always be home.
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Here is the URL if you'd like to see The Pendant that Faith gave to Buffy: http://mywebpages.comcast.net/Complement/Pendant.htm
Continued in Chapter XXXII – Breathing & Everything