ONE NORMAL LIFE / TWO EXTRAORDINARY LIVES
folder
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
210
Views:
11,319
Reviews:
182
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
210
Views:
11,319
Reviews:
182
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
KEEPING THE NIGHTMARES AT BAY
CHAPTER 52 - KEEPING THE NIGHTMARES AT BAY
If the days were for learning, being with Dawn and Willow, then the nights and mornings were theirs alone. Lying together, kissing, holding, passions enflamed, but not yet quenched. This was when Buffy wished that time would stand still for them, when there was no loneliness, no worries. And it was the time when William didn’t care what century he thought he was from, or was from, what century he was now in, as long as it included Elizabeth with him, in his arms. Keeping the nightmares at bay.
Although far less than they had been in the beginning, Buffy would still awake to hear William crying out in his sleep. She would shake him awake, or hug him tighter, kiss him. Anything to bring him out of his nightmares. She couldn’t take having him suffer anymore than she could take all the suffering Spike had been through. She wondered did he ever dream Spike’s nightmares? Did some part of his subconscious still hold Spike’s memories and horrors, or were these just William’s own? Sometimes she thought they might be one and the same, as she thought she’d hear a word here, a word or phrase there that would seem hauntingly familiar to her. Or almost stop her heart.
“Burning, burning, the fire….burns…kinda stings,” were the words that had almost stopped her heart last night as he called them out.
William wasn’t the only one who still had nightmares. He would also awaken sometimes to look at her, only to be dismayed by tears streaming down her face in her sleep, the look on her face one of pure grief, as if she had just lost her world. And he would feel an enormous sense of guilt. Her pain was palpable, and he knew that somehow, he had been the cause of it. He had left her and it had caused her pain. How could I have ever left you? He’d ask himself.
“It’s alright, Elizabeth,” he would murmur to her, in her sleep, as he would gently wipe and kiss her tears away, “I’m here, I won’t ever leave you again,” he would promise her, soothing her back to sleep.
On the morning of the 16th of June, Buffy’s cell phone rang. She had awoken in William’s arms, to the sound of it coming from the living room. Quietly untangling herself from him, she went out to answer it. She opened it up, as she walked toward the kitchen.
“Hello?”
“Elizabeth? This is Dr. Turner.”
“Oh, hi! How are you?”
“I’m fine. Listen, the reason I’m calling you is to tell you that Dr. Polydefkis was found dead in an elevator shaft yesterday. He’d apparently been trying to leave the building after the electricity had gone out, during the storm, right after you and William left. Guess they’d shut down all the elevators and he didn’t know.”
Buffy’s heart was pounding, but she was glad. She hated herself, but she was glad, glad he was dead, glad he wouldn’t be able to ever get anywhere near William again.
“I see,” she said.
“There’s more…”
“The plane crash?” Buffy asked, interrupting.
“Yes, how did you know?”
“The newspaper carried a UP press release. Willow saw it yesterday.
“Do you remember how I had switched the rooms of William and Mark Mason, so that if Dr. Polydefkis came by, he wouldn’t know where to find him? Well, strangely enough, they took Mark Mason, anyway. I don’t understand why they did that.”
“Maybe they also wanted him,” she said, not wanting to explain that Willow was a witch who cast a spell, so that anybody seeing him would think it was William. Sure, that would work.
“Not likely,” he said. “How’s William doing? And you?” he asked, changing the subject.
“William is doing much better, he’s been reading some books on inventions that Willow bought him. Believe it or not, he’s even been using the Internet, and he’s discovered the television.”
“Really? That’s great! I knew that in the right atmosphere he’d come around. Just don’t want to let him overdo it all. It might overwhelm him and make him withdraw, again. What about his memory? Has he started to get that back?”
“No…not yet.”
“I see. But he’s coping?”
“I guess so…it’s just that, well, he doesn’t seem to want to leave the cabin. Guess he feels safe inside. I mean, he’s been out on the deck, but hasn’t even gone down to the beach. I think he’s scared. He sticks very close to me. Not that I mind. Not at all!” she emphasized.
Dr. Turner who had been taking some notes, nodded, “I think that’s to be expected. He’s probably very dependent right now on you, on all of you. He’s been through a lot.”
If only he knew!
“I’m encouraged though, by his interest in the books and the world around him, that’s a very good sign. You may just have to push him to walk out into the world a bit. Encourage him to be as independent from you as possible.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, bristling, a bit.
“It’s a common occurrence, when somebody has lost their memory, or has become incapacitated in one way or another, for that person to become very, very dependent on their caretaker.”
“I’m not his caretaker! I’m his…wife,” she said, once again falling into the comfortable lie.
“Well, you’re still his caretaker. And while that’s probably a role you’re enjoying, especially since he’s been gone from you for so long, in the long run, it’s not very healthy for either of you.”
“So, what? I should just push him away, then?” she asked, a bit icily. She’d done that for too many years in the past, until finally, it had been too late. She’d be damned if she’d do that again, no matter what any doctor said.
“Of course not. Just give him gentle little prods in the right direction. Make him do some things by himself. Let him stand on his own two feet.”
She was silent, thinking about what he’d said, but also about the threat that was also still present.
“What about you?” he asked.
“Me?”
“How are YOU doing?”
“I’m fine. Really, I’m just so…happy that he’s here. With me,” she wanted to say ‘safe,’ but didn’t know if that was accurate.
“Good, just give it all time, and don’t forget to get back to your own life, too, by the way. When are you going back to California?”
“I…I’m not sure. In a couple of weeks, I guess.”
“Well, let me know. And don’t forget you can call me anytime or email. So can William. In fact, have him do that. I’d like to hear from him, okay?”
“Sure, I will. Thanks for calling and letting me know about Dr. Polydefkis.”
“You’re welcome. I figured you’d be relieved to hear that.”
“I am.”
“Good-bye, Elizabeth,” he said, hanging up. He scratched his head pondering all the very strange occurrences that had happened around William Worthington.
END CHAPTER 52
If the days were for learning, being with Dawn and Willow, then the nights and mornings were theirs alone. Lying together, kissing, holding, passions enflamed, but not yet quenched. This was when Buffy wished that time would stand still for them, when there was no loneliness, no worries. And it was the time when William didn’t care what century he thought he was from, or was from, what century he was now in, as long as it included Elizabeth with him, in his arms. Keeping the nightmares at bay.
Although far less than they had been in the beginning, Buffy would still awake to hear William crying out in his sleep. She would shake him awake, or hug him tighter, kiss him. Anything to bring him out of his nightmares. She couldn’t take having him suffer anymore than she could take all the suffering Spike had been through. She wondered did he ever dream Spike’s nightmares? Did some part of his subconscious still hold Spike’s memories and horrors, or were these just William’s own? Sometimes she thought they might be one and the same, as she thought she’d hear a word here, a word or phrase there that would seem hauntingly familiar to her. Or almost stop her heart.
“Burning, burning, the fire….burns…kinda stings,” were the words that had almost stopped her heart last night as he called them out.
William wasn’t the only one who still had nightmares. He would also awaken sometimes to look at her, only to be dismayed by tears streaming down her face in her sleep, the look on her face one of pure grief, as if she had just lost her world. And he would feel an enormous sense of guilt. Her pain was palpable, and he knew that somehow, he had been the cause of it. He had left her and it had caused her pain. How could I have ever left you? He’d ask himself.
“It’s alright, Elizabeth,” he would murmur to her, in her sleep, as he would gently wipe and kiss her tears away, “I’m here, I won’t ever leave you again,” he would promise her, soothing her back to sleep.
On the morning of the 16th of June, Buffy’s cell phone rang. She had awoken in William’s arms, to the sound of it coming from the living room. Quietly untangling herself from him, she went out to answer it. She opened it up, as she walked toward the kitchen.
“Hello?”
“Elizabeth? This is Dr. Turner.”
“Oh, hi! How are you?”
“I’m fine. Listen, the reason I’m calling you is to tell you that Dr. Polydefkis was found dead in an elevator shaft yesterday. He’d apparently been trying to leave the building after the electricity had gone out, during the storm, right after you and William left. Guess they’d shut down all the elevators and he didn’t know.”
Buffy’s heart was pounding, but she was glad. She hated herself, but she was glad, glad he was dead, glad he wouldn’t be able to ever get anywhere near William again.
“I see,” she said.
“There’s more…”
“The plane crash?” Buffy asked, interrupting.
“Yes, how did you know?”
“The newspaper carried a UP press release. Willow saw it yesterday.
“Do you remember how I had switched the rooms of William and Mark Mason, so that if Dr. Polydefkis came by, he wouldn’t know where to find him? Well, strangely enough, they took Mark Mason, anyway. I don’t understand why they did that.”
“Maybe they also wanted him,” she said, not wanting to explain that Willow was a witch who cast a spell, so that anybody seeing him would think it was William. Sure, that would work.
“Not likely,” he said. “How’s William doing? And you?” he asked, changing the subject.
“William is doing much better, he’s been reading some books on inventions that Willow bought him. Believe it or not, he’s even been using the Internet, and he’s discovered the television.”
“Really? That’s great! I knew that in the right atmosphere he’d come around. Just don’t want to let him overdo it all. It might overwhelm him and make him withdraw, again. What about his memory? Has he started to get that back?”
“No…not yet.”
“I see. But he’s coping?”
“I guess so…it’s just that, well, he doesn’t seem to want to leave the cabin. Guess he feels safe inside. I mean, he’s been out on the deck, but hasn’t even gone down to the beach. I think he’s scared. He sticks very close to me. Not that I mind. Not at all!” she emphasized.
Dr. Turner who had been taking some notes, nodded, “I think that’s to be expected. He’s probably very dependent right now on you, on all of you. He’s been through a lot.”
If only he knew!
“I’m encouraged though, by his interest in the books and the world around him, that’s a very good sign. You may just have to push him to walk out into the world a bit. Encourage him to be as independent from you as possible.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, bristling, a bit.
“It’s a common occurrence, when somebody has lost their memory, or has become incapacitated in one way or another, for that person to become very, very dependent on their caretaker.”
“I’m not his caretaker! I’m his…wife,” she said, once again falling into the comfortable lie.
“Well, you’re still his caretaker. And while that’s probably a role you’re enjoying, especially since he’s been gone from you for so long, in the long run, it’s not very healthy for either of you.”
“So, what? I should just push him away, then?” she asked, a bit icily. She’d done that for too many years in the past, until finally, it had been too late. She’d be damned if she’d do that again, no matter what any doctor said.
“Of course not. Just give him gentle little prods in the right direction. Make him do some things by himself. Let him stand on his own two feet.”
She was silent, thinking about what he’d said, but also about the threat that was also still present.
“What about you?” he asked.
“Me?”
“How are YOU doing?”
“I’m fine. Really, I’m just so…happy that he’s here. With me,” she wanted to say ‘safe,’ but didn’t know if that was accurate.
“Good, just give it all time, and don’t forget to get back to your own life, too, by the way. When are you going back to California?”
“I…I’m not sure. In a couple of weeks, I guess.”
“Well, let me know. And don’t forget you can call me anytime or email. So can William. In fact, have him do that. I’d like to hear from him, okay?”
“Sure, I will. Thanks for calling and letting me know about Dr. Polydefkis.”
“You’re welcome. I figured you’d be relieved to hear that.”
“I am.”
“Good-bye, Elizabeth,” he said, hanging up. He scratched his head pondering all the very strange occurrences that had happened around William Worthington.
END CHAPTER 52