Truth Denied

Ben was cooking dinner, a honey glazed pineapple ham, with whipped potatoes and cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, asparagus, gravy, stuffing, and even cranberry sauce; Ben was holding back nothing. When they sat at the table, Xander swore it groaned under the weight of everything on it as Ben poured everyone a large glass of wine. He served everyone their plates full, then finally sat and held up his wine glass. “May friends today be family tomorrow.” He clinked wine glasses and sipped; everyone sipped, Spike and Xander shooting furtive glances at each other.

They ate in silence, even though Ben nattered on subjects, trying to get them to talk. He didn’t want them to brood, but the truth was, they had less than a week to live and there was nothing they could do about it, though they were all trying to think of some way to grant Spike’s promise.

Xander stabbed a piece of asparagus forcefully and blinked back tears, knowing Spike was going to have to do what he offered; he was going to have to sleep with someone from the club, because of his damnable weakness, because of his emotional and physical scars… he didn’t even know if he could have anal sex, come to think of it, or at least enjoy it on any level. He’d been raped and torn so many times, it was possible he’d never be able to pleasure himself and Spike that way… some day, when he was ready… if Spike would wait for him. His stomach churned at that thought, -would- Spike wait for his emotionally fragile self to be ready for intimacy? Or did he think the kiss meant he was ready for… for everything? He ate the asparagus and tasted nothing but ash, even though seconds ago it was a culinary delight.

Spike was in the same boat, the food was delicious, but his mind weighed heavily on him. That kiss…. That kiss was bliss, thinking back on it his lips tingled. The way Xander had held his head, so confidently, so firmly, yet gently, to kiss him softly on the mouth, fully, no shame, nothing hidden, right on the mouth like Spike had yearned to do since… since… well, since at least the barcalounger incident… And here Xander had just given it to him, had shown him the extent of his feelings, and now he couldn’t deny his own anymore… Which meant he couldn’t just casually fuck a club goer anymore… Not and know how much it would tear apart Xander, especially after everything he’d gone through just to show him that one beautiful kiss. He ate wooden fluffy whipped potatoes and swallowed the mouthful with a sip of wine, quiet.

Ben put down his knife and fork. “Now that does it, I put a huge effort into this meal, the least you two can do is enjoy it,” he looked positively upset. Xander and Spike looked abashed.

“It’s good, it’s good!!” Xander exclaimed. “And I’m starved! I just… we just… I just told Spike something that makes… things hard.”

“And you’re keeping it from me? This is Uncle Ben! You can tell me anything, everything, I won’t pass judgement. Come on, we’ve been through so much…” He looked so hurt, green eyes darting from one to the other, gnawing on his lip as he did.

Spike nodded to Ben but looked down, “Not mine to tell.”

Ben looked with exasperation at Xander, green eyes begging for some clarification, and Xander sighed. “Got shown and got to experience a world without my father, got to experience life where I was allowed to be gay… and… and… I told Spike I loved him… but he knows I can’t just jump into the temple with him and cum simultaneously with him right away or anything. I don’t know if we’ll ever have that…. But he knows it would hurt me to have him casually sleep around so we’re… at a quandary, and we need to talk. I’m sorry Ben…. I know we are only making this worse for you.”

“Worse? Worse? This is a blessing under Priape!! Love! True love found inside his temple! Oh bliss, oh hooray, oh yay!” Ben got up and started doing jazz hands and other exuberant gestures. “Priape will protect true love!! Oh your first time, do it in the temple, don’t worry about doing it at the same time, love makes it potent, it charges it, the cumming at the same time is the prayer, but the love cum, now that just adds juice to everything. Oh, this is so great! I am so happy!” Ben walked into the kitchen and pulled out a cookbook, power walking on the spot, he was so full of energy.

“BEN! Are you listening? Spike can’t keep his word! He can’t send his prayer through with two simultaneous orgasms! We’re dead men.” Xander said, then Ben threw his head back and laughed.

“You’re only dead if you don’t get intimate. Look, two orgasms, not on the new moon, charges the chamber, you can have thousands of orgasms charging the chamber. Then on the new moon, that’s when the actual prayer happens, and it sends all the charge to the god, that’s when you need a simultaneous orgasm or one on your own without interruption. You two can go to Priape’s temple and charge it, at your own intimate pace, then I can do the prayer this Sunday, and Spike keeps his word, there’s super charged prayers going about, and Priape is happy. This will work.” Ben smiled, happy.

Xander shook his head, “You don’t understand, I’ve never been intimate with any man, ever. I don’t know if I ever will be able to.”

Ben frowned. “But you’ve been intimate with women?”

“Not usually by choice, but yes, I was.” Xander swallowed and looked down, pushing away his plate and hugging himself.

“Sweetheart, Spike will be gentle and slow, I know he will, won’t you?” He nudged Spike who nodded. “It’ll be fine.”

Spike looked at Ben and sighed. “Xander, don’t listen to that tosser, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, we can just sit and play video games till they come for us and fight till the end if that’s what you want. I’m here for you, got me? Because I got you.”

Xander got up and ran around the table and hugged Spike, shaking. Spike moved so he could easily pull Xander into his lap and he held him through his shakes and shudders, never forcing anything more than what he was willing to give. They stayed that way for a good half hour, while Ben stared at them in awe.

“Why don’t you two talk in the master bedroom? More room in there to pace,” Ben offered. 

The two men got up and moved to the master bedroom, Spike turned around and mouthed ‘thank you’ to him and closed the door behind them. Ben stared at the door a moment then decided to clean up. They’d tell him something when they decided something, but what he wouldn’t give to be a fly on that wall.