Decisions, decisions

After two hours Faith finally spent pulls out of Willow. She looks down and notices two things, the penis has vanished and blood coating the sheet. She sees Willow who has curled up into the fetal position with tears streaming down her face and is immediately horrified at what she has done to the girl.



"Shit Red, I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt ya" she goes to touch Willows arm, but she immediately flinches but does not move away.



Faith at a lost for what to do quickly goes into the bathroom and runs a bath. She goes back to the bedroom and slowly picks Willow up and brings her to the tub.



Faith gently places Willow in the water.



Willow turns to Faith and in a broken voice says "Faith Please, you obviously got what you wanted, please just let me go."



Faith bends down to eye level with Willow "You're wrong Red, I didn't get what I wanted. What I did to you is not how I wanted us to be together, I just got so angry I couldn't control myself. I don't want to hurt you, please believe that."



Faith tries to get Willow to look at her but she drops her head in defeat. Faith needing to get away from Willow before she gets angry all over again stands and walks to the door, at the last second she thinks better and walks back to Willow.



"Listen Red, you just relax and I'll leave you alone for a awhile, but please don't try to leave I don't want to fight anymore ok?" Faith says as she touches Willow's hair tenderly.



Willow says nothing she just nods her head.



Back in the bedroom Faith sees the evidence of her crime against Willow and is disgusted with herself.

"How will she ever love me if all I do is hurt her?" Right then and there Faith vows to do everything she can to be someone that Willow can love.



She quickly strips the bed of the soiled sheets and remakes the bed. She then goes through her closet looking for something that Willow can sleep in wanting to make the girl as comfortable in her presence as she can be.



Meanwhile,



Willow is sitting in the tub just staring off into space, she can't comprehend what has just happened to her. She always believed that sex was suppose to be a pleasurable experience, but what Faith had done to her was nothing but painful. She also couldn't understand how Faith could be so gentle at first and then so brutal. Not wanting to think about everything anymore Willow begins to wash her body, when she comes to the juncture between her legs she notices that the bleeding has stopped, but that she is still very sore. Not know how long Faith is willing to leave her alone for, and not wanting to anger the dark slayer anymore, she quickly finishes up her bath and goes to stand, but immediately stops at the shooting pain coming from between her legs. Knowing that she want be able to get out of the the tub on her own she reluctantly call Faith for help.



"What is it Red?"

"I can't get out of the water, it hurts to much" Willows say without making eye contact with Faith.



Faith looks Willow in the eye and says, "I am so sorry."



She goes over the Willow with a towel and picks her up and carries her back to the bedroom.



After sitting Willow on the bed Faith hand her a shirt to sleep in and helps her get dressed.



"I'll sleep on the couch so you can be more comfortable"

Willow looks at Faith in shock and mumbles a thank you, and Faith leaves the room.









Next Morning



Willows wakes up and for a seconds she doesn't know where she is, then the events of the previous night come back to her. At that moment Faith walks into the bedroom holding a tray of food.



"Here I made you breakfast" Faith says as she sits the tray in front of Willow.

Willow for her part is shocked because the tray contain her favorite breakfast dishes.

"How did you know what I like to eat for breakfast?"

Faith gives her trademark smirk "because I pay attention." She goes to touch Willows cheek and on reflex Willow flinches away. She is instantly afraid that she has made Faith angry and is quick to apologize.

"I'm sorry Faith I...

Faith silences her with a hand, "Its ok I understand after last night, In fact I think that we need to talk about that and the other things that happened last night."

Willow not wanting to remember any of the previous night especially what took place in that room is quick to object. "Faith please I can't talk about it, I just want to forget" Willow states.

Faith seeing the pain in Willows eyes almost gives in but deep down knowing that if this has any chance of working they would have to discuss everything that went on last night."

"Willow I get why you don't to discuss it, but we have to talk about and try to fix things or they could happen again."

Willow still afraid of this conversation, but not wanting a repeat of last nights events reluctantly agrees.



"I think that we should start with all the questions that you have, I know there are a lot of them" says Faith.

Before she can stop herself the question that has been bugging her since the beginning come out of her mouth.

"Why do you want me Faith?"

"That's simple, you are the smartest, kindest, and most beautiful person inside and out that I have ever met. I have been in love with you since the first night I saw you in the Bronze with B.

The whole time Faith is making her speech Willow is staring into her eyes and can see the sincerity. unable to deal with what she is seeing in Faith Willow quickly moves on to the other question she desperately wants an answer to.

"Faith last night, why did you hurt me like that, and is that how it is going to be between us?"

Willow afraid of Faith's answer, but more afraid of not knowing, patiently waits for an answer.



Faith doesn't say anything for a while she just stares at Willow then finally after what seems like hours to Willow but is actually only minutes. Faith gives her answer.



"I don't know what happened Willow you were saying all that stuff, and I just got so mad, and the slayer half of me just took over. It was like you were its mate and it had to show you who you belonged to. That has never happened to me before and I never meant to hurt you. I don't want sex between us to be like that, I want you to enjoy it.



Willow listened carefully to Faith's answer, and she even thought she had read something in the watcher diaries about what Faith was describing, but her mind stopped at Faith mention of future intimate moments between them. Gathering up her courage Willow began to tell Faith how she felt about all of this.



"Last night when we were first together was my first sexual experience, and before you.....did what you did I didn't know that sex could hurt, after what happened last night, I don't think I can every be comfortable with you touching me that way again. I don't want you to get upset with me, but that's just the way I feel.


Faith becomes really quiet after listening to Willow. In the back of her mind she can understand why Willow would feel this way. She really wants to tell Willow that its ok, and that she want force her anymore, but she knows that that is probably a lie. Not wanting to give Willow some false sense of security, only to snatch it away later. Faith takes a deep breath a gets ready to explain everything about herself and slayers in general to Willow.