Boats Against the Current

Boats Against the Current (Chapter Five)

“All I’m saying is that you guys need to admit that I was right.”

Buffy’s shrill voice could be heard even before the front door opened and the troops marched in.

“And the reason we’re not admitting it might have something to do with the fact that you weren’t,” Willow answered.

Angel couldn’t begin to express his relief as he saw his lover walk in.

“She’s gone, which means I was right.”

“But she didn’t leave until after she killed a vamp and helped us save all those people, so no, you were wrong.”

Angel scanned the group that entered and noticed that, yes, Faith was missing, just as the conversation implied. He didn’t particularly care. What mattered to him was that Willow was alive and safe. How much of a concern was Faith, really, in the grand scheme of things?

Especially since, despite what appearances might indicate, not everyone had escaped the fray entirely unscathed. Spike sensed it, too, and put a restraining hand on his arm. Angel shook it off. He didn’t care what anyone thought.

“You’re bleeding,” he growled.

Willow’s eyes shot wide. “Just a scratch. I was busy casting a spell and didn’t pay attention and…”

“You let her get hurt,” he interrupted, this time addressing the others.

“Angel,” Cordelia warned as the faces of most of the Sunnydale gang took on curious expressions.

He fought to keep his face from changing, but his eyes flashed gold and there was nothing he could do – or wanted to do – about that. In all the times she’d fought by his side, she’d never been injured. One battle with a larger crew than his own – one which included two Slayers – and she was bleeding.

“Angel,” Buffy said, attempting to mollify him, “It’s really not a big deal. It’s just a cut on her leg. I mean, okay, her jeans are toast, but…”

He cut her off. “It is a big deal. She goes out fighting with my crew almost every night and she’s never been hurt. You know why? Because we have enough sense to protect a witch while she’s casting. Don’t tell me one of you couldn’t have kept an eye on her for thirty seconds. But hey, why bother? It’s just Willow, right?”

Willow herself was about to speak up and defend her thoughtless friends when she caught the look in his eyes. He watched as her mouth snapped shut and she looked away uncomfortably. As independent as she was, she was his and she knew better then to defy him at a time like this.

Xander, in an unfortunately observant moment, caught her change of heart. “Will, maybe you ought to tell your boss that you’re not hurt or something.” He was looking at her with the oddest expression now. On anyone else, Angel would have sworn it was insight.

“I’m fine, Angel. Really.” The certainty of her words was belied by her tentative tone. Angel knew she was hopelessly caught between not wanting to defy him and not wanting their secret to be known.

“No thanks to your friends.”

Xander’s face went through some less-than-subtle changes which did not pass unnoticed by either Spike or Cordelia, both of whom shot Angel more or less clandestine worried glances. Willow quite obviously felt much the same. If Xander had figured it out, however, he seemed to have the sense and discretion to keep quiet. Which made Angel fairly certain he hadn’t actually figured anything out at all - which was very much to the good.

As much as Angel wanted to tell everyone the truth, he didn't think that now was the best possible moment. Riley was looking at Willow in a way that made both Angel and Spike extremely displeased. Spike was the one who spoke up first. “If you even think of taking her back to your lab for those experiments you chaps are so fond of, I will kill you, chip or no. And it will be agonizing in ways you can’t begin to imagine.”

Riley was nonplussed. “Willow’s my friend. I would never do that to her.”

“Oh well, I’m completely reassured. How about the rest of you?”

“Can we not have any pointless bickering, please?” Giles interjected, taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“You think standing up for Red is pointless?”

“Spike.” Angel’s voiced carried enough of a warning to stop his childe short. Not that he didn’t agree with him, but he saw nothing to be gained by antagonizing the closest ally they had. They’d need Giles to be in sympathy with their side when Angel and Willow’s relationship became known.

He looked at Willow, pale and tense as she stood there, caught between her old life and her new one. Time to steer the conversation back to business. “So, I take it the vampires were defeated. Any idea why they decided to attack a church while the sun was out?”

“Adam,” Buffy answered.

“Yeah, he seems to be a sort of demonic Franklin Delano Roosevelt. He got the vamps to believe that the only thing they had to fear was fear itself,” Willow chimed in, her voice near giddy with relief at the turn the meeting had now taken.

“Looks like Adam was the Initiative’s best idea yet.” Spike, too, was gleeful, though in his case at having a new opportunity to jape Riley.

“Did you find out anything else?”

“Other than the fact that he seems to be running for Mayor now? No, not really. We sort of had to kill them all. Adam really had them fired up.” Willow replied.

“Well, that’s still more than we knew before, actually. This at least tells us what he’s capable of and that he’s not interested in laying low or leaving town.” Angel really did feel a bit better informed, and, oddly enough, more confident. He knew from his own grand follies when his soul was lost that a demon on a power trip was a far easier target. Had Angelus been cunning instead of conceited…he shuddered to think of what might have been.

“Yes. I must agree that, alarming as this new knowledge is, it is, at least, knowledge.” Giles had a disconcerting ability to see the glass as both half full and half empty at the same time.

Xander was oddly quiet, seeming lost in what passed for thought. But if Angel thought Cordelia could give him any clues as to what the boy’s mood meant, he was sorely in error. She seemed just as lost as he was. Not for the first time, he wondered if Doyle gave her the gift just to ensure her continued employment. He’d grown accustomed to her, but she wasn’t much use without those visions.

“I better go up and see if there’s any progress with my computer program,” Willow said.

“Since Captain Cardboard doesn’t seem to have a password, or if he does, he’s not sharing.”

“I don’t have it. Believe me, I’d tell you if I did. This wasn’t a program I was in on. I wish I had been. I’d have tried to stop it.” Riley was rising above and trying to ignore the snide elements in Spike’s remarks. Which was good, because it would inspire Spike to ever greater heights of derision.

Angel could confess to enjoying seeing the corn-fed, shucks-ma’am sadist getting at least a miniscule taste of what he deserved. Despite the elements of understanding he felt for the man, when all was said and done, they were mortal enemies turned temporary allies. At the end of this, the soldier would either undo what had been done to Spike or pay dearly.

Willow bounded up the stairs. Angel hoped she’d find the password waiting for her. He was more than anxious to get this all over with. It was more awkward and uncomfortable than ever being around the people who made up Buffy’s world. Maybe it was because he was no longer interested in playing the part of marginalized vampire sidekick any longer. He’d come out of the shadows and he was no one’s lap-dog or faithful adjutant any longer. He was the leader he was meant to be and in Sunnydale that would always put him at odds with the Slayer he once loved.

She was as uncomfortable with the new Angel as he was with the same old Buffy, he could tell. Her eyes were guarded. If he was glad that the yearning was gone, he was also concerned about what might result from her new and suspicious attitude towards him. She was sizing him up as if he were a stranger. He was, but was it a timely moment for her to have that particular epiphany?

“No luck yet,” Willow groused as she came back into the room. “Your guys are pretty good,” she grudgingly admitted to Riley.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“You’ll get it,” Angel reassured her.

“I’d better head back to base and check in.” Riley seemed anxious to get out of there. Angel only hoped betrayal wasn’t on his agenda. He thought not, but he wasn’t about to count on the integrity of a man so easily turned into the dupe of an organization as insidious as the Initiative.

“I’ll walk with you,” Buffy said, seemingly as eager to leave as her boyfriend was. She put her arm through his and kissed his cheek. Was she putting on a show still? And if so, for whose benefit was it?

Giles was the next to speak up. Just as Buffy and Riley were out the door, he said, “Xander, perhaps we should go. I’m sure there’s nothing further we can do here at present.”

Much to everyone’s surprise, Xander seemed to have an entirely different idea. “I think I’ll stay here for awhile. Catch up with Wills. I’ll come by later to help you look through a bunch of books that won’t have any information about government-built cyborgs.”

Giles was taken aback, but seemed inclined to let the matter drop. He appeared to finally be processing just how much things had changed – things that didn’t necessarily have anything to do with Willow. Walsh’s death didn’t make Buffy back into the girl who used to look up to him or knit the group back into the tight and comforting unit they had once been and it was hitting him hard. Angel should pity him, and he did, but it was in a detached sort of way that brought home the fact that he really wasn’t the creature he used to be.

Besides, he had himself to feel sorry for. He was going to have to endure the company of Xander Harris with barely a leaven in the lump.

Giles soon followed his Slayer’s lead and left, the Citroen making its slow and vaguely ridiculous way down the drive and into the street. When was Giles going to break down and buy a respectable car?

That thought soon faded into nothingness however, because no sooner was Giles safely away, then Xander rounded on Angel and Willow. “So, this thing going on with the two of you…new?”

The boy had tumbled to the truth. Would wonders never cease?

“W-what do you mean, Xander?” Willow stuttered.

“Oh, c’mon. Just because I’m not Joe College, it doesn’t make me an idiot, okay?” Angel might argue with whether or not he was an idiot - because one lucky guess did not a genius make - but he got Xander’s point. “And I’m pretty sure everyone but Buffy has figured out that Angel is more than just your boss.”

There really wasn’t any point in keeping up the charade any longer. “Willow is mine.”

“Yeah, well, as long as that doesn’t mean what it sounds like.”

“His soul’s safe with her, so yeah, it means what it sounds like,” Spike interposed. He obviously couldn’t resist the opportunity to take part in the unfolding drama.

Willow appeared crestfallen. It was obvious she had wanted to tell Xander in her own way and both vampires had robbed her of the chance. He would apologize later when they were alone.

Xander sat down on the couch and Willow sat next to him. “Are you mad?” she asked.

“No…I mean…yes. It’s Deadboy, for god’s sake. What is it with that guy? Is necrophilia the hot new thing?”

“I love him, Xander.” She was ignoring the insults and Angel supposed that meant he had to as well. He did not, however, have to be pleased about it.

“How long?” Xander asked. “I mean, did it start after you moved to L.A.?” Angel got the uncomfortable feeling that he might have to ratchet up his assessment of the boy’s intelligence a notch or so…it was obvious he was on to them.

“No,” Angel answered just as Willow was admitting the same thing.

“I knew it!” Xander leapt up angrily. “I knew your Aunt Esther was dead! All that was just a cover so you could sneak off to meet your undead boyfriend, wasn’t it?”

“Uh huh,” Willow admitted, tears in her eyes, her voice almost inaudible.

“How…when…?” Xander spluttered.

“I went to Los Angeles looking for Oz and…things just happened.” She looked embarrassed and it was upsetting. Their relationship was nothing to be ashamed of.

“She needed someone, someone who actually gave a damn about her pain. We talked, I was her friend, and it became more. End of story, not that it’s really any of your business.”

“Not any of my business? Willow is my best friend!”

“Oh really?” Spike countered. “Then where were you when she was in pain? Oh yeah…you were shagging your demon and whining about how annoying it was that Willow was still hurting.”

Xander appeared ready to defend himself, but when his mouth opened, no sound came out and he shut it again without speaking. Instead he sat back down on the couch and put his head in his hands.

“I still can’t believe you let Spike, of all people, trick you into thinking her Aunt Esther was alive. Hello? You’ve known Willow forever. Even I remembered that her aunt died back in fifth grade.” Cordelia’s heart was in the right place, of that Angel was now convinced.

“I know, okay,” Xander shot back. “I’m a bad friend. I admit it. Are we all happy now?”

“You’re not a bad friend, Xander,” Willow said, putting her hand on his knee.

“Yes, he is,” Spike offered, ignoring the death glare Willow shot him as Angel stifled a chuckle.

“I’m sorry, Wills,” Xander said. Then he pulled Willow into a hug.

The two friends held each other for a moment and Angel stood by watching. For Willow’s sake, he was glad. She loved Xander and his friendship meant a great deal to her.

The embrace had ended and Xander was staring at him, eyes wiser and stronger than he was used to from the boy. Again he was struck with the notion that he’d underestimated him. “I’m still not a fan, Deadboy, but if Willow loves you, then I’m okay with this. But if you ever hurt her… I’m not going to ever make the same mistakes I made last time. You’ll get what you deserve and what I should have done to Oz. Remember that.”

Angel nodded. He wasn’t concerned, but he had a grudging sort of respect for Xander now. Maybe Willow and Cordelia weren’t crazy after all for thinking there was something to him.

“Could you maybe try to call him by his name?” Willow asked her friend. “He has one, you know? It’s Angel.”

“C’mon. I’m being as adult as I can.” They were grinning at each other now. Angel himself allowed a small smile. Anything that made Willow happy was a good thing.

“Repeat after me: An-gel.”

“Anything for you. Angel. There, I said it.”

Angel watched as Willow hugged him again. Even Cordelia seemed moved by all this. There were tears in her eyes. It was funny how, suddenly, the group he’d used to see in the obliterated library was now recreated here – transformed in some of its components, but still so much like what it had once been.

It was a good thing, then, that Xander was now apprised of all the facts. You never know – he might even have something useful to contribute.

“I guess I better go.” Xander got up to leave. He was stopped by Cordelia.

“Mind walking with me to the Espresso Pump? I could use a mocha and I really need to get out of here.”

“Sure, but…”

“Seriously, we need to leave now. Willow’s all emotional, and when she’s emotional, she and Angel…it gets noisy, and I so don’t need to be here for it.”

“Noisy? What do you...? Oh.” Xander’s face was caught somewhere between confusion and nausea as he got what Cordelia was trying to say. Angel might have been insulted had the revulsion come from anyone else, but as it was, he simply wanted to laugh at the pair of them. “That is so not an image I needed to have.”

“You? Try having to answer phones or get any work done while it’s going on!”

And with that, Cordelia and Xander bickered their way out the door, barely stopping for Cordy to grab her purse, though Angel wondered why she bothered. He’d bet blood that Xander would pay.

Willow was giggling on the couch. “That is just like how they were when…” She paused and looked stricken. “Oh no. What if…what about Anya? Oh God. Xander could really be in trouble.”

Angel wanted to reassure her, but he was just as convinced that there was a great deal of unresolved emotion between those two. And Willow had just reminded him that an ex-vengeance demon could make things very difficult for them all should she become aware that she was now the sort of woman she used to work for. Oh great. Out of the frying pan… Were they ever going to be able to focus on Adam to the exclusion of anything else?

“Might be fun,” Spike cheerily opined. “I, for one, would pay money to see two girls fighting over Chubs.”

“Too bad you weren’t around back in high school. You could have seen it then.”

Being reminded of Willow’s one-time crush on Xander took the last of the cheer from Angel’s mood. The memory of the two of their scents all over each other wasn’t a pleasant one now. He supposed it was a good thing he hadn’t loved Willow in those days.

“Oh yeah? Oh that’s right…you actually had a thing for the whelp back then. No offense, pet, but between him and the wolf, I can’t say much for your taste.”

“It’s gotten a lot better,” Willow said, coming to Angel and putting her arms around him. It was a gift she had, the facility for reading his moods, and he was grateful.

Spike, too, seemed to read the tea leaves correctly and passed up the opportunity to insult his sire, instead asking, “Do you think he’ll go running to the Slayer with the news?”

It surprised Willow when Angel beat her to the punch by answering, “No.”

“He’s right. Xander wouldn’t do that to me.”

“If you say so.” Spike was skeptical, not that Angel didn’t understand. He might have been too if he hadn’t shared that look with the boy, hadn’t seen something stalwart and honourable behind his eyes.

He realized now that the dynamics of the groups were changing again and he wondered how that would play out in the fight against Adam…and when was that going to happen, anyway? Cordelia’s second vision had been resolved before her first and it seemed as if they were nowhere near to finishing what they’d come here to do. This was new and Angel wasn’t sure he was comfortable with that. It was disquieting to realize he was the pawn of the PTB. Redemption might be worth it, but only just barely.

Shaking himself free of the vines of his depressing thoughts, he asked, “Do we know what happened to Faith? Besides the fact that she’s gone?”

“I’m a bit curious about that myself. Not that she wasn’t a looker, but she seemed a bit not-right on the sanity scale. Why anyone would fancy changing places with Buffy, of all people…” More melodramatic shuddering from the hammiest of all vampires.

“We don’t know. It was all over, we’d gotten everyone out, the vamps were dead, and she was just gone. We figure she left town. After all, the Council’s still after her and so are the police. She sure was a lot of help though. I mean, yeah, she has tried to kill me before, so I don’t know if we’ll ever be pals or anything, but she kicked some real ass. The vamp she killed? It was the one that went after me and knocked me down.”

Would wonders never cease? He would never have guessed it was Faith who had come to her rescue. Like Willow, he was now more conflicted in his feelings about Buffy’s rogue counterpart. She’d come close to killing him as well, but given the fact that she’d saved Willow… No, he wasn’t necessarily sorry she’d made a clean getaway.

“I need to wash up and change clothes,” Willow said, gazing ruefully down at the hole in her jeans. “These are ruined.”

“I’ll buy you a new pair.”

“Angel, you buy me new clothes all the time. I have plenty more jeans where these came from.”

“I’ll still buy you a new pair.”

She sighed but didn’t argue. He was still in the process of accustoming her to being taken care of properly. At least she no longer fought him tooth and nail on the subject, however. That was progress.

She headed upstairs and he followed. The sounds of the television turning on and channels being scanned through at a rapid rate accompanied him until the door to the bedroom shut and he and Willow were alone at last.

He pulled her to him, kissing her fiercely. “I need you,” he growled when they finally stopped.

“Angel, what about…?”

“There isn’t anything that can’t wait.” His hands roamed over her body and he kissed her again. It was the best way to win this argument and he knew it. Her moans soon told him he’d carried the day and he began to undress her.

He wasn’t lying either – he did need her. He needed to renew their bond, to feel the anchor that was her, to be reminded that, despite the batting about by the PTB, there was one true and certain reality: she was his. She grounded him, kept him connected to what his redemption was about, made him feel in ways that were good. Oh yes, he needed her.

The PTB must have known that as well as he did or she wouldn’t be half-naked on the bed with him right now and his soul not even slightly imperiled. They were clever, and sometimes they gave instead of taking and testing.

“Angel,” she panted, as his mouth found her nipple and his hands struggled to get those hateful, bloodstained jeans down her legs.

Finally they were down at her ankles and he chuckled as she shook free of them. He stood briefly to shed his own clothes and then rejoined her on the bed. Her panties were easily disposed of as he tore them off. He kissed his way down her body, the salt-sweat taste of her skin an aphrodisiac as he moved down to the juncture of her thighs. As much as he wanted to be inside her, what he wanted more was the power that came from having total mastery of her body, the power to give pleasure in a way that left her at his mercy. He needed to take control.

So that was what he did. His tongue found her center, exploring, teasing, and his hands moved over her thighs. The sound of her moans as they built into cries spurred him on.

A knock at the door, insistent and unceasing, distracted him. Ridged and fanged, he got up from the bed in a fury. Willow grabbed the bedspread and wrapped it tightly around herself as Angel strode angrily to the bedroom door.

“Spike!” he roared as he flung it open, not caring that he was completely naked. “This had better be important.”

Tbc…