How to Woo a Vampire

Disclaimer: I own nothing and in no way claim to.

Chapter Four

Xander was at the same time in fact planning his next murder, I mean in his case creativity counts, it’s like elementary school, but with more blood. Between Dru’s ramblings (even over the telephone she can get annoying) and his memories Xander has good insight into the mind of Spike and he plans to push that advantage as much as possible. The last note should have shown that Xander not only understood Spike but was being sincere, he knew the thought that Dru may be pulling the strings would remove the sincerity of his goal, so by telling him she wasn’t would show it to him. And then all of his plans could come to fruition, once of curse he completely proved to Spike that he was not just doing this on a whim or because he was told to. But, then again not even Drucilla knew of his true feelings for Spike.

Flashback:

“Spiky’s sweet kitten has returned and with my help so will our Spike. The sweet kitten of old has grown claws and fangs and turned dark. Ms. Edith told me that you will bring Spiky back to the family. And when he returns we can leave this nasty, spiteful town and go find Daddy and then paint the world red. Drucilla spun in a circle giggling as she appeared to be thinking of painting the world red.

Xander sat in a chair in the corner room watching her actions. As she continued to ramble under her breath and dance around the room, Xander thought about the past day or so. It was just the night before last that Anya had broken up with him and he was turned by Drucilla. He realized soon after waking the afternoon before that he did not feel like the fledges he saw in Sunnydale, and while it could just be because he was turned as child not a minion, Xander felt it was due to something else. What he still hadn’t figured out, but something strange seems to run in the Aurelius line. He quickly tuned back into Drucilla’s ramblings when she seemed to actually be talking to him.

“Now Grandmummy knows just what to do, it has to be the kitten that gets Spikey back, and the Kitten you will be.” Xander just watches and listens as Drucilla carries on much as she has since he awoke as she detailed in her own way her plans to get Spike back. After the first five minutes of her insane ramblings and maniacal giggles, he decided that her plan would bring Spike back into the family but instead piss him off. If he understood Drucilla right then he was supposed to pretend he was this person who was important to Spike, whoever the Kitten was.

Xander the normal one, the Zeppo of the Scoobies had many secrets, secrets such as his ability to be devious and plan, which are coming in quite handy in his new vampiric life. From Drucilla’s he has determined he was turned because of a resemblance to the Kitten though there seems to be some personality differences, assuming he understands Drucilla correctly, which is debateable. However, Xander knows Spike better than anybody else would believe and knows that he will need some serious pushing to get Spike away from his Buffy obsession. And Drucilla’s plan won’t work because if Xander reminds Spike of this dead person then it stands to reason that his actions toward Xander in the past are due to that. Thus pretending to be this guy will only fail and push Spike further away. Not conducive to either his or Dru’s plan.

While his intelligence is one secret he had, then his feelings for Spike was another. No matter how he tried to deny them as a human, he had a huge crush on Spike. Not only was Spike the sexiest person he had ever seen in his short life, his attitude and personality also were appealing. As a human, Xander was a complete closet case, going after the worst women to hide his attraction to people like Spike. However, as a vampire it didn’t seem to matter anymore. And if he was turned for the sole reason of bringing Spike into the family than at the very least he could do it his own way ad get something out of the deal.

But first thing is first, he has to get Spike away from the slayer, if he can just put Buffy in a bad light and himself in a good light then Spike might give him a chance. However, that depends too much on the actions of Buffy and while it can be guranteed that she will heap abuse on Spike it is unwise when planning to base any of it on the actions of someone outside the plan, because people were unpredictable. He instead needs to come up with something that makes Spike think about him. But, to do this he knows the plans Dru has been rambling on about wont work.

“Drucilla Spike thinks he’s in love with the slayer to make him come back we need more than your plan. I can’t just make him think I’m Alessio he’s too smart for that and too deluded with the Slayers greatness. I need to woo him and at the same time point out all the Slayer’s faults.” And then it came to him, the one thing Spike wants more than anything else, and if he could do that it would be the ultimate present for Spike to woo him with.

He looked up seeing a huffy Dru about to storm from the room. “One moment Dru, to make the plan work I need a favor, I mean if I am going to woo Spike he is going to need pressies.”
End Flashback

‘Man who would have thought that I could get one part of the Scourge of Europe to listen to me, the Zeppo. Okay so she listened after she threw a huge hissy fit, but she still listened, and my plan is coming together. Spike is enjoying the first of his presents and keeping my presence unknown to the slayer while Drucilla is coming through for me in LA with the last pressie.

And the idea for the other gifts was inspired, the first night out on the town when I saw those two soldiers patrolling it just came to me and I knew that getting vengeance on the initiative, even in a small way would woo him. Who knew that one day I would thank Riley for his trust in the Scoobies, I mean all that information he told us about the military presence in Sunnydale is being put to such good use.’ As he thought Xander began to laugh thinking about all he had been told in the past on Riley’s return.

‘Riley left, to never return again and yet he did realizing his eternal love for Buffy and returned with help, a contingent of thirteen soldiers under his command and one doctor to monitor their health. And that crock of a story about the biting. Buffy honestly still believes that story about the vampire bites mimicking the biochemical affects of the initiative drugs pumped through his system. That story right there put him back in the slayer’s good graces, hell even alive I was with Spike about him. Just for his personal insults, I think he should be the big finish of the soldiers, hell I will enjoy killing him as much as I will giving him to Spike.

Now who to kill next, only a few more soldiers left to kill, plus Riley and the doctor. Well as they always say, save the best for last, so those two shall wait for the end. Maybe evisceration is good for the next one quite creative and painful, or maybe good old fashioned torture, this will have to be thought out properly.’ Xander then walks around the old manor thinking of the many ways he can kill the next gift, waiting for him in the basement.

A/N: So this is it I hope you enjoy. The next chapter may be up by tonight.