Where would we be?

I wake up on my side, you're on your back. Your hand is on my hip, but I don't think you meant it to be so.



I turn and look at the clock, it's 2:19pm... SHIT!



I shake you awake. "Buffy your flight leaves in 2 and a half hours!"



You wake up with bed hair and yawn, "You called me Buffy..."



"Yeah well that is your name B." I snap back. I didn't mean to.



I had forgotten you were leaving today. I had forgotten that the last 24 hours could be the last I would ever see you. I forgot that I might not ever get a chance to tell you how I feel again!



I get out of the bed and head into the bathroom. "I'm going to wash up." You yawn again, cutely I might add, and nod.



The hot water runs over me, I'm starting to feel better already despite last night's events, and the fact that I hadn't had anything to eat for hours.



I'm confused. I don't know what to do. I don't want you to go but I don't want to tell you why I want you to stay. How do I tell a straight girl who I've betrayed in the past, who's trust I've had to regain, who's friendship could be ruined with... That I'm so in-love with her?



Good ol' tough Faith, ex-bad-girl murdered almost fresh out of jail... Is in-love with Buffy Summers. The girl who changed the world.



The girl who changed my world.



I turn the taps off and dry myself off.



You said you trust me now. I owe you the truth...



I'm out of the shower and dressed, you're dressed too. "You're gonna visit us right?"



I nod. "Yeah sure."



"You're gonna call, if you need help with anything."



"Yeah no problem B."



"You're gonna miss m- us aren't you Faith?"



I turn and look at you, This time, I look you in the eyes. I look right through you, well at least I try to. I hold our gaze and I say,



"Yeah, yes I will."



You walk over to me and stand in-front of me for a moment. I can hear your breathing and I take in your scent. Like Vanilla.



You hug me.



It feels great, you're so warm... But yet for a few too many seconds I just stand there all stiff while you hug me. If only you knew what this moment really meant to me. If only I really knew what this moment meant to you. I lift up my arms and wrap them around you, and hug you back. Tight.



This is it.



I pull back a bit and swallow. I look down at your lips and I have to marvel at the fact that you're not doing anything about the obvious situation I've now put us in.



I lean in towards you and place my lips against you. I keep them there and to my surprise it's you that opens yours a little. Just a little, I really notice.



I open my mouth now, only slightly just like you. Small kisses, our mouthes matching each other's rythym and lightly sucking on each other's bottom lip.



I can feel my breathing getting heavier and the kisses grow quicker, with more urgency.



It's you that pulls away, and as you do you touch your lips with your fingers, you're not frowning or looking as though what just happened was wrong so, I'm not too worried. In fact I have more confidence now, so I grab your shirt and gently tug on it to pull you towards me.



My heart flutters when you're standing close to me again. Probably because I am now scared, scared that you'll pull away disgusted with me,

It's out in the open now. You pretty much know how I feel.



Deciding I've got nothing to lose as you'll soon be gone, I kiss you again.



This time you open your mouth more for me. Your lips are so soft and they taste so good my whole body is on fire.



I take my hands from my side and run them along yours, starting at your waist and then over your curves. You push yourself closer to me so I bravely move my hands to your behind, pressing them against both sides loving the way it feels under my hands.



You wrap your arms around my neck and it's not that I decide to take full charge, you're not refusing me and obviously enjoying this as much as I am.

So I push you against the nearest wall and move my lips from yours and trail them down to your neck. You slightly tilt your head to allow me better access and your breathing becomes heavier and quicker. "Faith... Wha..." You say but nothing else happens and I am too lost in the moment to really take notice.



I pull my right arm from your waist and bring it to the front of us to slip my hand under your shirt, I am still kissing your neck.

I am now grasping your right breast over your bra though, I'm so turned on and the heat from your body feels so good, I get even braver and pull my hand from under your shirt and bring it down to your crutch, grasping it through your jeans but not too roughly.



I come back to your lips around the same time you let out an audible and moan which I interrupt with my lips, my arousal is now becoming a problem but I'm too interested in making you happy.



Now you push me away again hard enough to let me know you want to stop, it's me wiping my mouth. Your eyes are widened not in fear but, wonder I think.

"Buffy, I... I'm... I..." I can't believe I'm stuttering.



You run your fingers through your hair and straighten it up and pull yourself from the wall. "It's OK Faith. We... It's OK. It never happened..."

And you smile, to let me know you're not unhappy, scared or any type of negative feeling. I think that's what you're trying to tell me with those eyes anyway. This could be my cue to explain myself further, tell you how I really feel and even ask you what you feel, about me, what just happened...



The events that happen next, my choices... I'm not even sure why myself. I'm not sure why I didn't even get upset with you.



I gesture towards the door. "Come on" I say, as much as it hurts... "Time to get everyone else ready."



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



I see off you, Dawn and Xander at the air-port, and I'm surprised none of the others are here also but I figure you've either said your goodbyes to them already, or you've made your own arrangements. The three of you are all teary and emotional like so I decide be cool let yous do your thing, with my arms folded of course. I can't help but smile though.



Of course there's the, "we'll call you when we get there" and "we'll miss you."



You nod your head at Xander and he puts his arm around Dawn and walks her onto the plane. It's just us two now.



Where would we be now baby?



If we found each other first...



I hate regrets. I wish I could say I live without regrets. I wish that I didn't spend days thinking about you, wondering how you are, and what you're doing. Whether you're happy, whether you've found someone...



I hate replaying the times we've had in my head, as if I had done everything differently. As if I told you how I really felt back when I should've, as if what it could've been if I didn't make so many mistakes, and let you in like I wanted to so bad inside, let you in as a friend and tried back then for something more... I'll never know if I did have a chance...



I'll never know what you would've said if I asked you to stay that day at the air-port, instead of just saying goodbye.



But we will meet again Ms. Summers!



What would you do now darling?



If I said these simple words...



I'll wait...



As long as you want...



Where would we be now baby?