Here Without You

A/N: Warning Character death!! All I can say about this chapter is to keep the faith...and please keep reading...all questions will be answered soon.


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"Buffy, luv you have to wake up."

Buffy could hear him over and over again as she struggled to open her eyes. Her eyelids were heavy and she felt like it would take all the strength she had left to lift them. She was surrounded by darkness, and that darkness sent a feeling of panic shooting down her spine. The only thing that comforted her was the voice. The voice that was calmly coaxing her back to reality.

"William?" She whispered, her voice thick and hoarse with exhaustion. "William, I can't see you."

"I'm here baby, I'll always be here, whether you can see me or not I'll always be here. Buffy you have to wake up. Wake up and come back to me." Buffy could hear the pleading tone in his voice. He sounded distant, like he was moving away from her.

"William?" Buffy cried out. "William where are you? I can't see you, William, please don't leave me." Buffy could feel herself start to tremble as she struggled to open her eyes. White light pierced the darkness as Buffy's hooded eyelids opened to two tiny slits. Her vision was blurred at first but she could make out several figures standing around her. William's face was the first she was able to focus on. He was standing over her smiling his cocky grin.

"That's it sweet, come back to me."

"William," She sighed as exhaustion took over her body once more and she was again shrouded in darkness.


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Buffy slowly opened her eyes and took in her surroundings. She was lying in a strange bed in a strange room. There were machines all around her making loud clicking and beeping noises. Buffy realized that she was in the hospital and that she was alone. The events prior filled her memory and panic soon settled over her. "Oh God," Buffy groaned. She grabbed onto the bars on either side of the hospital bed and tried to sit herself up. That's when she felt the pain. Her body ached everywhere from her toes to the tips of her fingers. Her head felt like it had been split in two and no one had bothered to put it back together again. Too tired and in too much pain to try to continue to move, she slumped back down on the bed. A few minutes went by and then the door to her hospital room flung open and she could hear voices. Buffy lifted her head slightly to see who had entered her room.

"Oh my God you're awake!" Willow exclaimed as she noticed Buffy's slight movement. She ran over to her friend and grabbed her hand. "We were so worried. You have a concussion and the doctor told us that you could wake up at anytime, but the longer you were out the less likely it was going to happen. I called your mom, but I haven't been able to get a hold of her. How are you feeling Buff, are you feeling okay?”

"Rambling much?" Xander said calmly as he put his hand on Willow's shoulder to calm her down.

"I'll go get the doctor." Anya smiled as she let go of Xander's hand and walked slowly out of the room.

"Will, could you get me a glass of water?" Buffy asked her friend. Her voice was hoarse and her throat felt as if it had been stuffed to the brim with cotton.

"Sure thing." Willow disappeared into the bathroom. Xander pulled a chair up to his friend and gently took her hand.

"How you feeling Buff?" he asked solemnly.

"My head feels big. Is it big?" She asked sleepily.

Xander couldn't help but smile at her response, thankful that his friend was alive, "No it's head size."

"What happened?" Buffy asked as Willow returned and helped her friend with her first few sips of water.

"We were in a car accident," Willow replied. "Some guy was talking on his cell phone and not paying attention to what he was doing. He crossed the yellow line and hit us head on. You tried to swerve to miss him but lost control and flipped the DeSoto into a ditch." Willow described the scene with tears in her eyes.

"Oh my God," Buffy sighed as the minutes before the accident came flooding back to her. "William and I were fighting and I wasn't paying attention. You guys I'm so, sor..."

"Don't." Xander cut her off. "Buffy there was nothing that you could have done to prevent it. Don't you think for one second that it was your fault."

Buffy could only shake her head in response. "Is everyone okay?" she whispered.

"Well." Willow sighed trying to hold her emotions in. “Xander, Anya

and I got away with a few minor cuts and bruises. Tara was unconscious for about 3 hours. She broke her leg, and a couple of ribs. Her parents actually had her flown home to Minnesota so they could be with her." Willow hung her head as she finished her sentence.

"Oh Will," Buffy sighed. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, I'll see her soon, I know I will." Xander put a reassuring arm around his friend’s shoulder. Willow leaned into his embrace and wiped the beginnings of freshly shed tears from her eyes.

"I'm in some serious pain here guys." Buffy winced and shifted uncomfortably on the bed.

"Anya just went to go find the doctor Buff." Xander reminded her. "He can give you something when he gets in here."

"Okay," Buffy said, forcing a weak smile. "Oh guys, where's William? He was here a little while ago. I heard him when I was coming to, but I guess he left right before I woke up." Buffy looked at both of her friends and a feeling of dread washed over her.

Xander and Willow both exchanged pained and confused expressions. "Buffy, you said that you heard William?" Willow asked with a worried look on her face.

"Yeah." Buffy was confused. Why were they looking at her and at each other like she had totally lost her mind? "Why, where is he?" Xander and Willow's only reply was to exchange another desperate glance to one another. "Okay guys, drop the cryptic. You're scaring me. Where is William?" Buffy demanded, the desperation in her voice growing.

"Umm, Buffy," Willow started. "William, um...he...uh...," she stammered trying to find the words.

"Willow!" Buffy exclaimed grabbing the redhead's attention. "Just tell me where he went."

"Buffy, he didn't make it," Willow's tears began to fall again as she watched her best friend's face fall.

"What?" Buffy whispered.

"I'm sorry Buff," Xander added. "They tried to save him, they really did, but..." His voice cracked with emotion and he could not continue.

"No!" Buffy exclaimed, horror in her voice. "No I saw him here. He was here, I heard him." Her tears were falling freely, however, Buffy could not feel them. She shook her head in denial feeling her sanity slip away. "He was here!" she cried.

"No sweetie," Willow tried to comfort her. "He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Buffy I'm so sorry." Willow sobbed.

"No!" Buffy screamed as she struggled to lift herself out of the bed. "No, he's not, he can't be. I'll find him and he'll be fine." She was trying to stand herself next to the bed. Her legs were weak and she didn't know if she let go of the bedside table if she would be able to stand on her own, but she had to try. "I'll find him!" she screamed again.

"Buffy," Xander started stepping forward to take her into his arms. "You can't just take off, you're not well yet, and you need..."

"No!" Buffy screamed. "Let go of me Xander I have to find him. Let me go." Buffy practically collapsed against her friend and began to pound on his chest. "Please let me go Xander," she pleaded continuing to hit him. "Please," Buffy broke off into uncontrollable sobs. Xander held onto her with all of his strength. Willow stood back watching her best friend fold in upon herself silently crying. At that moment the doctor came in with Anya in tow and found his fragile patient out of bed and in the arms of her friend.

"You shouldn't be out of bed Ms. Summers," The doctor commented. Xander took the hint and lifted the petite blonde back onto her bed. Buffy was still sobbing hysterically when the doctor finally approached her.

"How long has she been this way?" The doctor asked with a very concerned expression.

"She just got some very bad news and got upset right before you came in." Willow explained hesitantly.

"Ah, I see." The doctor nodded. "I'll just give her a small sedative to help her sleep. Her body needs to heal and I'm afraid if she stays in this condition she never will." The three friends nodded in agreement as the doctor called the nurses station for the necessary drugs. A few minutes later a heavyset nurse appeared in the room with a syringe case and handed it to the doctor.

"Here you go Dr. Giles." She smiled as she handed him the medicine.

"Thank you Margaret." He smiled gratefully then turned his attention to Buffy. "Buffy, my name is Dr. Giles. I'm going to give you some medicine okay?” Buffy didn't respond, her sobs were still coming at an uncontrollable pace. "This will help you get some rest," Dr. Giles explained as he injected her with the sedative. She nodded to let the doctor know that she heard him, but she could not speak. A few minutes passed and Buffy could feel herself slipping. Very soon the same darkness that had frightened her so terribly before was comforting her in a blanket of unfeeling.


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Buffy awoke, this time with greater ease than before. The bright light of the daytime had faded and the room was now glowing a soft yellow color, set off by the lamp on the dresser across from her bed. She heard the door to the bathroom open and looked lazily in its direction.

"Ah, you're awake." Dr. Giles smiled at the young girl who just regarded him with a nod. He noticed her trying to sit herself up in the bed. When she began to wince in pain he moved to help her. "Here," he said as he handed her a small remote control. "This button will raise you up, if you like, that way you move as little as possible."

"Thanks," she replied, her voice hoarse from crying. Buffy pressed the button and adjusted the bed until she was in an upright position.

"That better?" The doctor asked with concern.

Buffy couldn't answer his question. She stared blankly out into space for several minutes until the feel of cold metal pressed against her back forced her into reality.

"Just want to check your heart beat and other vitals," Dr. Giles said, comforting her when he felt her jump.

"Sorry," Buffy half smiled. "Guess I'm kinda not all here."

"I should say it's understandable, what with all you've been through." The doctor continued to listen to her heartbeat. "Take a deep breath, hold it for 3 seconds then let it out." He instructed.

Buffy did as she was told. After he was satisfied with her heart rate he then took her blood pressure and checked the bandage that Buffy had failed to notice adorned the top of her head.

"You seem to be healing nicely," he told her. " I want you to get plenty of rest, I think we'll probably keep you here for at least another day just to keep an eye on you."

Buffy nodded. "Has anyone called my mother?"

"I believe your friend Xander tried but hasn't been able to get in touch with her. Would you like to give me her number, so I can try her for you?"

Buffy shook her head. "No thank you, I'll try to call her tomorrow." The doctor nodded and turned to leave. He stopped when he heard her call out to him.

"Dr. Giles?"

"Yes Buffy?” he turned to face his patient.

"Can I ask you a question?" Buffy felt shy and frightened all at the same time.

"Absolutely."

"Am I pregnant?” Buffy could feel the lump rise in her throat as the words fell off of her tongue.

Dr. Giles could see the emotion etched on the young girls face and heaved a long sigh before he answered. "No my dear, you're not."

"Was I?" Buffy's voice cracked with emotion. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer.

"I don't believe so," he told her honestly.

"Thank you." She tried to force a smile at the man standing in her doorway but she couldn't convince her face to cooperate.

Dr. Giles nodded and then quickly left the room. Buffy took in her surroundings with a hefty sigh. This can't be happening, she thought. The events leading up to the accident began to play in her mind. She thought of the hurt look on William's face. She remembered the things they said to one another.. "William, I'm sorry. It's not that big of a deal, I'll tell her tomorrow. We can tell her together." Buffy pleaded trying to placate him. William smirked at her efforts. "If it's not that big of a deal, then why are you sorry?"

Buffy's tears began to fall freely again. "I'm so sorry," she said out loud to no one. "I'm so, so sorry." She continued her lament until she was completely spent of tears and energy and drifted, yet again, to sleep.


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Buffy found herself walking along North Campus. She loved this stretch of campus, the shade trees covered most of the quad and the old buildings that lined the cobblestone walk ways. Definitely one of the more picturesque parts of the University of Georgia. She was nearing the ever-famous arches that led to the main part of Athens when she saw him. He was leaning against the black metal of the center arch. Arms crossed in front of him, cocky smirk on his face. Buffy stopped for only a moment to take in the sight of this perfect creature. He was so beautiful, as he watched her move near him. When she was about halfway the distance between them he began to slowly prowl towards her. God, how she loved to watch him walk. He moved so languidly like a jungle cat stalking its prey. When they were at arms length he reached for her and took her into his embrace. She rested her head in the crook of his neck and took in his distinct scent. Leather, his musky cologne, and the faintest hint of tobacco filled her nostrils and she sighed contentedly. He kissed the top of her head and then pulled away suddenly. She groaned in protest and looked up into his eyes when he began to tug on her hands beckoning her to follow him.

"Come on luv, you need to come with me now," he told her, smiling.

"Where are we going?" she asked him.

"Where we belong. You belong with me Buffy."

She cocked her head to the side and gave him a quizzical look. "Here I am, William. I'm right here. This is where we belong."

"No sweet, just come with me. Please stay with me," William pleaded, desperation beginning to show in his face. Buffy felt the fear swell in her belly as she felt him start to pull away. She grabbed a hold of his hand and pulled him to her roughly, pressing her mouth to his when he reached her. "Where are you going William? Please don't leave."

"We can't stay here pet," he told her stroking her hair.

"No," she protested. "William I need you to stay with me. Please stay with me." She wrapped her arms around him. She could feel her desperation rising when he slipped away from her embrace. He walked backwards slowly away from her.

"I'll be here forever sweet, that's the whole point. I'll never leave. Not even if you kill me." William continued to move away from her as he said this.

"William!" Buffy screamed "Please, don't go."

"Come with me pet, Come back to me," he called to her as his voice became all the more distant.

"William!" Buffy let out one last cry as she watched William engulfed in a blinding white light and then he was gone.

Buffy woke from her dream with a start. The pain was much less this morning she noted as she sat up in the hospital bed on her own. She looked up suddenly when she heard the door open. Willow poked her head in and smiled when she saw that Buffy was awake.

"Hey." The redhead entered the room with a huge bouquet of flowers for her friend. "How are you feeling?"

"The doctor says that I'm healing nicely," Buffy responded. "He said that I can probably go home either today or tomorrow."

"Good." Willow beamed. "These are for you." She laid the flowers on Buffy's lap and sat on the edge of the bed beside her friend. "So I'm going to do the best friend thing and ask you a really stupid question."

"Okay," Buffy sighed. She knew what was coming.

"How are you holding up?" Willow asked with a slight frown.

Buffy sighed again before answering. "I'm holding," she gave her friend a half smile and said, "I feel like he's going to burst through that door any second, bitching at me to get better because he can't stand hospitals, all the while never leaving my side." Unshed tears formed behind Buffy's eyes as she spoke. The thought of William actually being gone was still so unreal to her.

"I know what you mean." Willow laid a comforting hand on her friends shoulder as her own tears began to fall.

"I had a dream about him last night you know." Buffy smiled trying to contain her emotion.

"Really?" The red head tried to perk up. "Wanna tell me about it?"

"I don't remember much of it," Buffy lied. She stared off into space for a moment remembering the pleading desperation in his voice as he asked her to come away with him. "What am I going to do now?"

"Oh Buffy, we'll get you through this." Willow reassured her. "I know it's awful, but..."

"I think awful is still coming Will." Buffy cut her friend off. "Right now, I don't feel anything. I have this huge hole and it's just nothing. Right now I'm just..." Buffy trailed off slightly, her tears spilling over her eyes. "Right now I'm just trying to keep from dying."

"Buffy," Willow gasped unable to form words through her own tears. She scooped her friend into an embrace and stroked her hair.

"I can't breathe, Will. I feel like I can't breathe," Buffy sobbed, holding onto Willow for dear life.