Remember Me

Chapter Twenty – Seven

"You know I wouldn't do anything to you, right?" Spike started as he joined Angel outside, planting himself on the ground next to the elder vampire as he stared up at the night sky blanketed with stars.

"Yeah," Angel said quietly. "I know. I was just thinking the same thing
before you came out here."

"Buffy would be so proud. Us, on the same wave length," Spike chuckled.

Angel sat up straighter and gave him a weary grin.

Spike nudged him with his shoulder. "Cheer up, mate. It'll be all right."

"How do you know?"

"Not sure really. Just have a feeling."

"Even after the colossally bad meeting with the Oracles?" Angel asked
dryly.

Spike nodded, looking up at the sky, then looked at him. "The way I figure
it? We've come this far, you and I. We've been through hell and came out of
it. We hated each other and spent decades apart, then we were reunited by
this tiny slip of a girl that could put both of us in our place and made us be
accountable for our actions. She united us Angel, which is no small feat.
We've seen some apocalypses in our day, we've had fights, we almost lost
Buffy once, then we did lose her. . . but we got her back. You and I, we've
seen a lot. Been through a lot. The way I see it, the only place we can now is
up. We've got half the battle done. We've got the girl. So the Oracles decide to give us a shit deal and not grant us our wish. We'll find a way. You know why? Because it's us."

Angel smiled fondly at him. "I said it once before, and I'll say it again. You've grown. You've become wise. When the hell did that happen?"

Spike smiled charmingly. "I reckon I've learned a few things from my Grand-Sire."

Silence, then, "Buffy asked me a long time ago to talk with you about having a soul," Angel began. "You'd been going through that spell there where you felt guilt over the things you'd done. She'd asked me to talk with you about it since I'd had it longer. . . I told her there were some things you and I just didn't do. I didn't realize how out of control that concept was until we'd lost Buffy. And it wasn't just because we'd lost Buffy and I needed your help to help ME keep it together, but because. . . you've been with me for so long. No matter how many times in the past I wanted to get rid of you, you always came back.
I didn't know how much I'd come to depend on you until this whole fiasco happened. I also didn't realize how much I NEEDED you either. Losing Buffy this way. . . it's torn at me more than anything and I knew that being at each others throats was not the way to go about things. I didn't want to do it, again, not just because Buffy wouldn't have wanted it, but because I needed your support. Your cavalier spirit and your willingness to do anything. Especially when I felt so lost, I didn't know what to do. You kept me going. I railed at you, I threatened you and I hated you, but I never stopped loving you Spike. I fell short on how to show it and I'm sorry."

Spike's eyes filled with tears at Angel's speech, feeling he meant every word, KNOWING he meant every word. Lunging at him, the vampires embraced tightly. The first time they'd embraced in both of their unlives.

Giles, poking his head outside to see how they were getting along was pleasantly surprised to see them embracing. He let out a sigh of relief.
Finally.



"Buffy."

Buffy's eyes popped open. She'd been waiting for her mother for so long
and she was so tired. Her eyelids didn't want to stay open, they wanted to
succumb to the sleep and just let it take her over. She wanted to see her
mother though, needed to.

Her head shot up and she saw her. The only light in the darkened room.

"Mommy?"

"Hello sweetheart."

Buffy shot up from her seat and bounded over to her mother, hugging her
close as tears streamed down her face. "I missed you so much mommy. I've
been so lost. . . I need you."

"Why don't we turn on the lights?" Joyce asked after a minute.

Buffy shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. "No."

"Why, darling?"

"If you turn on the lights, I'll see her."

"Who?" Joyce asked, stroking a hand tenderly down Buffy's cheek.

Buffy looked up at her, her eyes pools of tears. "Me."

"Why are you so afraid to see her?"

"She's not real and I don't know how to make her go away. She makes me
see things and feel things that aren't real mommy. Make her go away."

Joyce smiled tenderly. "I miss you Buffy, so much."

"I miss you too mommy."

"Let me turn on the light, make some hot chocolate, okay?"

Hesitantly, Buffy slowly acquiesced. She darted a glance to the other ‘room'
and promptly turned her chair so she wouldn't have to see the other Buffy.

Silently, she watched Joyce move about the kitchen, noticing for the first
time, the flowing blue iridescent robes she wore. She sparkled. She glowed.
She studied her, committing every part of her to memory.

Sitting down with her, Joyce patted her hand as Buffy sipped her cocoa.

"Buffy, I want you to listen to me. Can you do that?"

Buffy nodded eagerly. She'd do anything her mother asked of her. Just as
long as she'd stay.

"That Buffy in there? She's real. She needs you. More importantly, I need you."

Buffy stared at her, frozen.

"Buffy, invite her in."

Buffy shook her head. "I can't. I'm afraid."

"Why?"

"She remembers things that aren't true about those. . . monsters."

"Baby, those vampires love you. You love them and you need them. They
didn't kill me baby. They've saved you, they've saved me. Don't be afraid to
take her in. The memories you have are not real, Buffy."

Tracks of tears trailed down her face in what felt like a river. "I'm not real,
am I?" She whispered.

Joyce smiled tenderly and carressed the side of her face, gazing at her with mothers love. "Invite her in Buffy before you're lost to me forever. Please Buffy, I love you so much darling and I don't want to lose you."

Trembling, Buffy stood on wobbly legs and with her mothers encouraging nod, she made the trek over to the other Buffy. She sat there, ramrod straight, taking her ‘punishment'. Flicking on a light, this Buffy stirred in her chair.

Leaning over, Buffy untied her other self, starting at her feet, moving to
her hands and ending with her eyes. The other Buffy blinked up at her in
wonder. She caught sight of Joyce and bolted up. Buffy stopped her, by
holding onto her hand and found her flesh melded with hers. They both
looked up at each other, startled.

"Do it, baby," Joyce encouraged, stepping into the room.

Looking at each other, resigned, both Buffy's took a step toward each other
and their flesh melted into one another. They meshed, they blended. They
became one.

Buffy stood there, eyes wide and shuddering.

"Buffy?" Joyce called to her.

Buffy's eyes popped open and laid eyes on her mother. "Mom!" She
exclaimed and flung herself into her mother's waiting arms.

"You're back," Joyce whispered.

"I was so lost," Buffy whispered, echoing her former self.

"I'm so proud of you, Buffy. You've made me proud. I've seen you. Looked
after you. I'm always there with you. Always."

Buffy's lip trembled. "Are you my guardian angel?"

Joyce nodded, smiling. "Did you expect anyone else?"

"You have to go back, don't you?"

"I'm afraid so darling. Angel and Spike are waiting for you. And you have
many more important things to do and take care of. You're going to be on
this Earth for a very long time."

"I want to stay here with you for a while longer," Buffy started, but her
mother put a finger to her lips.

"You can't, Buffy. You need to go back now. I'll always be with you,
remember that. If you ever need me. I'll be here."

The scene changed suddenly and they were no longer in the kitchen of
their old place. They were in Buffy's meadow. Before Buffy could respond,
Joyce pressed a kiss to her forehead and whispered. "Time to go now."

Her eyes snapped open and she could feel the tears on her cheeks, still wet and making her skin itch. She struggled against the restraints, thinking for some reason that now that she was ‘back', they'd magically release under her struggles.

"Angel! Spike!" She shouted at the top of her lungs.

A moment later the vampires came stumbling into the room, flicking on
the light and looking down at her in worry and surprise.

"Buffy?" Spike asked, knowing, just KNOWING, there was something
different in the way she called out to them.

She looked up at them. At their hopeful and yet suspicious faces. She knew
she'd just seen them, but it was different now. Now she knew the truth. Now she knew she belonged to them and they to her. And God, she'd missed them desperately. She felt so much relief and love flooding her that she trembled with its urgency.

"Please untie me," she begged, needed desperately to be in their arms.

TBC...

I'm glad you guys are enjoying this!! I'm so glad to be back to writing this. I missed it! Thank you for all the reviews. Please keep them coming!