Couch Confessionals
folder
Angel the Series › Slash - Male/Male › Angel(us)/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
6
Views:
2,264
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Angel the Series › Slash - Male/Male › Angel(us)/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
6
Views:
2,264
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Angel: The Series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 3c
Title: Couch Confessionals
Author: claudia6913
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: A/S
Summary: *Spoiler for AtS Season 5* What's up with the couch in Angel's office? Every time Angel and Spike sit on it they end up confessing something new. Where will it lead? Set during and after 'Hellbound'.
Warnings: Slash m/m
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own anything; it's all in the hands of Joss and Co.
Distribution: SoG, Vampyre Haven, BBB, and anywhere else I post. All others just ask. My work is archived at http://www.angelfire.com/vamp/claudia6913
Spoilers: AtS Season 5
Author's Notes: Takes place during and after 'Hellbound'. I kind of reworked the ending, made Spike corporeal a little sooner then in the show. Everything has happened up until the point Spike and Angel get to his office. This was supposed to be all smutty, but then it went to a serious and angsty place.
Feedback: But of course, are you nuts? ghoztstarz@yahoo.com
A/N: Special thanks to Emmy and Gabrielle for all their help and advice on this fic. I couldn't have done it without them!
----------
Chapter 3c
The night had passed without notice. Hours slipped by until dawn came and light shone through the necro-tempered glass of the Wolfram and Hart building. On instinct Angel dove for cover at the first sign of light, which shocked him to wakefulness. He was still unused to not being burned by the bright orb. Chiding himself for being so stupid he clambered back into his chair and rubbed his face to rouse himself from the last vestiges of sleep.
Angel leaned back in his chair and looked at the computer screen in front of him. Little objects were flying about on the screen; moving the mouse the document came back to life and he looked over what he'd been reading. Remembering that night had caused emotions in him that hadn't been stirred in over a century. The memory of them still caused tingles and stirrings of his demon.
"Harmony. Blood. Now," he said into the intercom. A clipped and chirpy “Yes, Boss,” was the only answer.
The mouse clicked and the document on the screen closed. A soft whir could be heard in the silent office as the computer ejected the CD. Angel grabbed it, placed it carelessly in its case, and sighed; tossing the case into a small stack of ‘viewed’ CD’s. Next to it was another fifteen CD’s, all of them having to do with Angel, not Angelus. Some of them had snippets of Spike’s life, his time spent with Darla and Drusilla, then later just Drusilla.
Harmony came in silently upon seeing her boss’ disheveled appearance. She set the blood on the desk near his elbow and left without bei being noticed, such was the state of Angel’s mind that morning. Absently, he grabbed the glass of blood and drank it all in one gulp. He wanted more, but he didn’t want to be intruded upon. He had to get through this…today. He was unsure of how much time Spike had left and didn’t want…didn’t want him to go to hell. That, he couldn’t handle. Hell, he’d handled Buffy’s death better then he was handling that, and he hadn’t done very well then. He’d run away to some monastery to ‘work things out’ when Buffy had died. Basically it was to beat the ever-living crap out of something. Now, now he was devastated and Spike hadn’t even vanished into nothingness yet.
Angel sighed loudly as he reached for another CD. He knew he had to continue; he had to know how Spike spent his life…or unlife as he would call it. Most people thought that all vampires did was kill. For the most part that was true. Spike was different though. He didn’t kill for the fun of it; he killed to live and lived to love. He was always different that way. Angelus always exploited that part of Spike. Used his ‘weakness’, as Angelus called it, to mentally hurt William.
The information popped up on the screen in front of Angel like magic. It told of times he only vaguely remembered. The year described was 1898. Such a turn his life had taken that year, the year he’d acquired his soul.
Darla had been gone a lot that year, for one reason or another. Never did she come right out and say that it was because of Angelus’ new-found affection for young William, though if that was the case Angelus wouldn’t have cared. He had his Childer. He was a Master Vampire by that time. The label ‘Scourge of Europe’ firmly in place. He was feared by all, human and demon alike. Angelus was at the height of his power with William and Drusilla by his side. Drusilla for all her insanity was welcome beside him. She came in handy from time to time; her visions and unusual talent for hypnosis an obvious advantage to the trio.
The three of them roamed around half of Europe killing, fighting, and fucking…never staying in one place for very long. William, by that time, had gotten over his ideals of monogamy and joined Angelus and Drusilla for trysts between the sheets, and in the park, and under the stairs, and…well you get the picture.
A month before Angel’s en-soulment, Darla had cbackback from wherever she had run off to that time, in an incredibly good and generous mood. She had surprised Angelus with a present from a nearby gypsy camp. Darla knew he had a penchant for young gypsy girls.
It was a rare night, for William and Drusilla had gone off on their own for a bit and Angelus had been out hunting by himself. Walking into the living room Angelus had spotted the gypsy girl tied and laying next to the fireplace. She had looked pleadingly at him for help…that is until she saw the feral grin that spread across his face. The smell of her fear flooded the room and called to him. He knew Darla was somewhere in the house. The familiar tug of their bond always told him when she was near.
There was nothing different about that night. It was the same as so many others…the kill, the sex, the bloodlust. Even the gypsy girl was nothing new. Darla knew Angelus’ love of gypsy girls and she had found this one on her way home. She’d thought it a nice present for her lovely boy. She had no idea the importance of this girl to her clan. No way to predict what her death would mean to them.
That girl was different, important, and she became Angelus’ downfall. Her clan sought revenge on the vampire that dared to take her life. One curse was all it took. The revenge of the Kalderash came in one fell swoop to give Angelus a soul, make him feel for all of eternity the pain and suffering that their precious daughter had felt in her last moments. They made him feel the torment of every kiss of death he had ever given.
Darla had kicked him out when she learned of his ‘filthy soul’. Leaving, Angel ran…ran from Darla, ran from his soul, ran from the remembered screams of pain that filled his every waking and sleeping moment.
As he was running out of town he happened to run into William and Drusilla walking down the street. He’d hidden from them in a nearby alley, afraid and guilt ridden just looking at them. He could have sworn Drusilla had seen him as they passed the alley. She looked right at him, but continued walking with William on her arm.
Angel had ran for years, events and places blurred in his memory, unable to separate them. Those years were only punctuated by an ever increasing hunger and madness. Angel knew this part of his life; he knew where he’d gone and what he’d done. The disk however went on with William and Drusilla. The information he’d wanted. Sitting up in the chair he read closely the documents that held secrets Spike would never tell him.
He knew that William and Drusilla had stayed with Darla for a while, that was just the nature of things. He read closely as the screen showed documentation of a mass murder. The Kalderash. They had gone back after Angel left to kill them. They made their camp a blood bath. Angel didn’t know whose idea it’d been, but it made him feel a sense of something like warmth inside him where his heart should be. It made him feel wanted and missed that they should go through the trouble of having a massacring those who took him away from his ‘family’. Then, he told himself that he shouldn’t feel that way about a mass murder committed in his name. It was wrong, and he shouldn’t appreciate it, but he did none the less.
Skimming through more of the documents, he saw much of the same. Darla, Drusilla and William moved often, never staying in one place for more then six months. There was no explanation, only that they left trails of bodies wherever they went. Had they beeokinoking for him? Had they wanted to find him? Angel wanted to know if Darla had told William why he’d left. He wanted to be sure that William knew that it wasn’t his choice…that Darla thr thrown him out. Angel wanted to know that William didn’t blame him.
The more he looked at the documents, the more Angel knew he wouldn’t find his answers there. He had to talk to Spike for those answers. But, he read on, nonetheless. Saw that after The Boxer Rebellion, when Angel had tried desperately to get back into Darla’s good graces that the newly-christened Spike and Drusilla had left Darla when she went back to the Master.
Reading of more bodies, more cities, more blood, he saw that it really showed nothing of the vampire, more the actions without reason. This frustrated Angel. It wasn’t what he was looking for. It wasn’t what he wanted to read about. Didn’t they understand that?
Growling, Angel tossed the CD’s off of his desk. They would tell him nothing he didn’t already know. He had to talk to Spike, if for no other reason, then to let him know that it wasn’t his fault Angel had left all those years ago. To let him know that he still cared about the younger vampire. That he still…he still loved him.
Getting up, Angel stalked out of his office with a renewed sense of purpose.
“Hey Boss!” Harmony said from her receptionist desk. “You look like shit.”
“Huh?” Angel asked stopping and turning to face her.
“You don’t look good. You’ve been in your office for over 24 hours. You shirt’s wrinkly, your pants are…well, they’re undone and your hair is a mess.”
Absently, Angel ran a hand through his hair and looked down at his fly. It was indeed still undone from his little…tryst the other night. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten to redo his pants. It was just another testament to how distracted he was over Spike and his impending trip to hell.
“Uh, Thanks,” Angel said. “Is Spike…is he still…”
“He’s still here,” Harmony said reassuringly.
“Good. That’s, that’s good,” he said and walked to the elevators. He punched the button for his apartment. Impatiently he waited for the elevator to slowly take him up the five flights. ‘I could have walked faster then this,’ he thought.
Finally, the doors opened to his loft and he went straight into the shower, stripping off his day-old clothes along the way. He turned on the shower, making it as hot as he could get it, and stepped under the spray. Angel let the heat seep through his cold lifeless skin and ease his tense muscles.
‘What do I say to him?’ Angel thought, washing his hair. ‘I need to think of what to say. I can’t just walk up to him and say, “Hey, you remember when I disappeared? Well, I didn’t want to, and I still love you.” I just don’t think Spike would buy that.’
Contemplating what to say to Spike, Angel didn’t notice a figure appear in the steam of the bathroom. He didn’t see piercing blue eyes watch him through that steam, appreciating all they saw. He didn’t see as a ghostly tear floated out of those blue eyes and trail their way down chiseled cheekbones.
Spike stood there watching a scene he would have relished and even participated in once upon a time. He opened his mouth to announce himself, and then thought better of it. He didn’t think Angel would appreciate it now, not like he had as Angelus. Spike couldn’t quite separate the souled and unsouled version of his mentor sometimes. They were so alike on more levels then the older vampire would want to hear about.
The shower shut off abruptly, shaking Spike out of his reverie. He stepped back, further into the steam, and watched as Angel grabbed a towel to dry off. Spike couldn’t stay there any longer. He couldn’t watch Angel and not reach out to touch him, couldn’t stand there and not say something…so he left without a word. Blinking out of sight.
Author: claudia6913
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: A/S
Summary: *Spoiler for AtS Season 5* What's up with the couch in Angel's office? Every time Angel and Spike sit on it they end up confessing something new. Where will it lead? Set during and after 'Hellbound'.
Warnings: Slash m/m
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own anything; it's all in the hands of Joss and Co.
Distribution: SoG, Vampyre Haven, BBB, and anywhere else I post. All others just ask. My work is archived at http://www.angelfire.com/vamp/claudia6913
Spoilers: AtS Season 5
Author's Notes: Takes place during and after 'Hellbound'. I kind of reworked the ending, made Spike corporeal a little sooner then in the show. Everything has happened up until the point Spike and Angel get to his office. This was supposed to be all smutty, but then it went to a serious and angsty place.
Feedback: But of course, are you nuts? ghoztstarz@yahoo.com
A/N: Special thanks to Emmy and Gabrielle for all their help and advice on this fic. I couldn't have done it without them!
----------
Chapter 3c
The night had passed without notice. Hours slipped by until dawn came and light shone through the necro-tempered glass of the Wolfram and Hart building. On instinct Angel dove for cover at the first sign of light, which shocked him to wakefulness. He was still unused to not being burned by the bright orb. Chiding himself for being so stupid he clambered back into his chair and rubbed his face to rouse himself from the last vestiges of sleep.
Angel leaned back in his chair and looked at the computer screen in front of him. Little objects were flying about on the screen; moving the mouse the document came back to life and he looked over what he'd been reading. Remembering that night had caused emotions in him that hadn't been stirred in over a century. The memory of them still caused tingles and stirrings of his demon.
"Harmony. Blood. Now," he said into the intercom. A clipped and chirpy “Yes, Boss,” was the only answer.
The mouse clicked and the document on the screen closed. A soft whir could be heard in the silent office as the computer ejected the CD. Angel grabbed it, placed it carelessly in its case, and sighed; tossing the case into a small stack of ‘viewed’ CD’s. Next to it was another fifteen CD’s, all of them having to do with Angel, not Angelus. Some of them had snippets of Spike’s life, his time spent with Darla and Drusilla, then later just Drusilla.
Harmony came in silently upon seeing her boss’ disheveled appearance. She set the blood on the desk near his elbow and left without bei being noticed, such was the state of Angel’s mind that morning. Absently, he grabbed the glass of blood and drank it all in one gulp. He wanted more, but he didn’t want to be intruded upon. He had to get through this…today. He was unsure of how much time Spike had left and didn’t want…didn’t want him to go to hell. That, he couldn’t handle. Hell, he’d handled Buffy’s death better then he was handling that, and he hadn’t done very well then. He’d run away to some monastery to ‘work things out’ when Buffy had died. Basically it was to beat the ever-living crap out of something. Now, now he was devastated and Spike hadn’t even vanished into nothingness yet.
Angel sighed loudly as he reached for another CD. He knew he had to continue; he had to know how Spike spent his life…or unlife as he would call it. Most people thought that all vampires did was kill. For the most part that was true. Spike was different though. He didn’t kill for the fun of it; he killed to live and lived to love. He was always different that way. Angelus always exploited that part of Spike. Used his ‘weakness’, as Angelus called it, to mentally hurt William.
The information popped up on the screen in front of Angel like magic. It told of times he only vaguely remembered. The year described was 1898. Such a turn his life had taken that year, the year he’d acquired his soul.
Darla had been gone a lot that year, for one reason or another. Never did she come right out and say that it was because of Angelus’ new-found affection for young William, though if that was the case Angelus wouldn’t have cared. He had his Childer. He was a Master Vampire by that time. The label ‘Scourge of Europe’ firmly in place. He was feared by all, human and demon alike. Angelus was at the height of his power with William and Drusilla by his side. Drusilla for all her insanity was welcome beside him. She came in handy from time to time; her visions and unusual talent for hypnosis an obvious advantage to the trio.
The three of them roamed around half of Europe killing, fighting, and fucking…never staying in one place for very long. William, by that time, had gotten over his ideals of monogamy and joined Angelus and Drusilla for trysts between the sheets, and in the park, and under the stairs, and…well you get the picture.
A month before Angel’s en-soulment, Darla had cbackback from wherever she had run off to that time, in an incredibly good and generous mood. She had surprised Angelus with a present from a nearby gypsy camp. Darla knew he had a penchant for young gypsy girls.
It was a rare night, for William and Drusilla had gone off on their own for a bit and Angelus had been out hunting by himself. Walking into the living room Angelus had spotted the gypsy girl tied and laying next to the fireplace. She had looked pleadingly at him for help…that is until she saw the feral grin that spread across his face. The smell of her fear flooded the room and called to him. He knew Darla was somewhere in the house. The familiar tug of their bond always told him when she was near.
There was nothing different about that night. It was the same as so many others…the kill, the sex, the bloodlust. Even the gypsy girl was nothing new. Darla knew Angelus’ love of gypsy girls and she had found this one on her way home. She’d thought it a nice present for her lovely boy. She had no idea the importance of this girl to her clan. No way to predict what her death would mean to them.
That girl was different, important, and she became Angelus’ downfall. Her clan sought revenge on the vampire that dared to take her life. One curse was all it took. The revenge of the Kalderash came in one fell swoop to give Angelus a soul, make him feel for all of eternity the pain and suffering that their precious daughter had felt in her last moments. They made him feel the torment of every kiss of death he had ever given.
Darla had kicked him out when she learned of his ‘filthy soul’. Leaving, Angel ran…ran from Darla, ran from his soul, ran from the remembered screams of pain that filled his every waking and sleeping moment.
As he was running out of town he happened to run into William and Drusilla walking down the street. He’d hidden from them in a nearby alley, afraid and guilt ridden just looking at them. He could have sworn Drusilla had seen him as they passed the alley. She looked right at him, but continued walking with William on her arm.
Angel had ran for years, events and places blurred in his memory, unable to separate them. Those years were only punctuated by an ever increasing hunger and madness. Angel knew this part of his life; he knew where he’d gone and what he’d done. The disk however went on with William and Drusilla. The information he’d wanted. Sitting up in the chair he read closely the documents that held secrets Spike would never tell him.
He knew that William and Drusilla had stayed with Darla for a while, that was just the nature of things. He read closely as the screen showed documentation of a mass murder. The Kalderash. They had gone back after Angel left to kill them. They made their camp a blood bath. Angel didn’t know whose idea it’d been, but it made him feel a sense of something like warmth inside him where his heart should be. It made him feel wanted and missed that they should go through the trouble of having a massacring those who took him away from his ‘family’. Then, he told himself that he shouldn’t feel that way about a mass murder committed in his name. It was wrong, and he shouldn’t appreciate it, but he did none the less.
Skimming through more of the documents, he saw much of the same. Darla, Drusilla and William moved often, never staying in one place for more then six months. There was no explanation, only that they left trails of bodies wherever they went. Had they beeokinoking for him? Had they wanted to find him? Angel wanted to know if Darla had told William why he’d left. He wanted to be sure that William knew that it wasn’t his choice…that Darla thr thrown him out. Angel wanted to know that William didn’t blame him.
The more he looked at the documents, the more Angel knew he wouldn’t find his answers there. He had to talk to Spike for those answers. But, he read on, nonetheless. Saw that after The Boxer Rebellion, when Angel had tried desperately to get back into Darla’s good graces that the newly-christened Spike and Drusilla had left Darla when she went back to the Master.
Reading of more bodies, more cities, more blood, he saw that it really showed nothing of the vampire, more the actions without reason. This frustrated Angel. It wasn’t what he was looking for. It wasn’t what he wanted to read about. Didn’t they understand that?
Growling, Angel tossed the CD’s off of his desk. They would tell him nothing he didn’t already know. He had to talk to Spike, if for no other reason, then to let him know that it wasn’t his fault Angel had left all those years ago. To let him know that he still cared about the younger vampire. That he still…he still loved him.
Getting up, Angel stalked out of his office with a renewed sense of purpose.
“Hey Boss!” Harmony said from her receptionist desk. “You look like shit.”
“Huh?” Angel asked stopping and turning to face her.
“You don’t look good. You’ve been in your office for over 24 hours. You shirt’s wrinkly, your pants are…well, they’re undone and your hair is a mess.”
Absently, Angel ran a hand through his hair and looked down at his fly. It was indeed still undone from his little…tryst the other night. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten to redo his pants. It was just another testament to how distracted he was over Spike and his impending trip to hell.
“Uh, Thanks,” Angel said. “Is Spike…is he still…”
“He’s still here,” Harmony said reassuringly.
“Good. That’s, that’s good,” he said and walked to the elevators. He punched the button for his apartment. Impatiently he waited for the elevator to slowly take him up the five flights. ‘I could have walked faster then this,’ he thought.
Finally, the doors opened to his loft and he went straight into the shower, stripping off his day-old clothes along the way. He turned on the shower, making it as hot as he could get it, and stepped under the spray. Angel let the heat seep through his cold lifeless skin and ease his tense muscles.
‘What do I say to him?’ Angel thought, washing his hair. ‘I need to think of what to say. I can’t just walk up to him and say, “Hey, you remember when I disappeared? Well, I didn’t want to, and I still love you.” I just don’t think Spike would buy that.’
Contemplating what to say to Spike, Angel didn’t notice a figure appear in the steam of the bathroom. He didn’t see piercing blue eyes watch him through that steam, appreciating all they saw. He didn’t see as a ghostly tear floated out of those blue eyes and trail their way down chiseled cheekbones.
Spike stood there watching a scene he would have relished and even participated in once upon a time. He opened his mouth to announce himself, and then thought better of it. He didn’t think Angel would appreciate it now, not like he had as Angelus. Spike couldn’t quite separate the souled and unsouled version of his mentor sometimes. They were so alike on more levels then the older vampire would want to hear about.
The shower shut off abruptly, shaking Spike out of his reverie. He stepped back, further into the steam, and watched as Angel grabbed a towel to dry off. Spike couldn’t stay there any longer. He couldn’t watch Angel and not reach out to touch him, couldn’t stand there and not say something…so he left without a word. Blinking out of sight.