Dreams

A few hours later, Spike eased himself out of bed and made his way downstairs. He padded barefoot and shirtless into the main hotel lobby. Everyone was sitting in the lobby, most of them with a book in hand.

He made his way over to Cordelia and flopped down in a chair next to her.

“That woman is insatiable, I’m knackered.” He exclaimed, when Cordy didn’t reply he raised his eye’s to meet hers and encountered nothing but a raised eyebrow.

“Ok, I love it! She’s insatiable and she wants me!” He couldn’t keep the goofy grin off his face or the delighted smile that it settled into.

Cordy just laughed at him, happy that at least one vampire was getting some.

“Seriously though, Luv, I think I owe you big thanks. You called her right?”
Spike looked at Cordy with what she thought looked like eternal gratitude.

“Well I knew that it had to be something to do with her.” Cordy answered with a grin, then reached out and patted Spikes hand.

Spike looked around the lobby, and spoke.

“So what are you guys looking for? I see the books and the people reading intently and suddenly it makes me homesick for good old Rupert and Sunnydale.”

Cordelia snorted at him and shook her head.

“Six damn months you’ve been here, and now you notice that we’re researching?”

Spike chuckled and stretched his arms above his head.

“I’m feeling very aware at the moment; my life’s taken a turn.” He still had the goofy grin and Cordy felt happy for him.

“Where’s the grand poof?” spike asked after searching the room for Angel.

“He’s brooding where else? Spike leave him alone, this has really hurt him.”
The worry rang out in Cordy’s voice.

“Don’t worry cutie, I need to sort this out with him, we won’t kill each other. Just talk.” He chuckled again as Cordy just gestured up the stairs and rolled her eyes. Spike made his way up the stairs to find his grandsire.

****


Buffy had woke as Spike had tip toed out, she would have loved to have stayed in bed but she was awake now, that and she needed to pee. After she had finished in the bathroom she quickly dressed and left her room. She had thought she would go look for Spike but she had a nagging feeling that she should go talk to Angel first, and apologize for going postal on him.

She made her way up to the next floor of the hotel and was walking down the corridor when she heard singing coming from a room. She edged up to the room and found the door open, she looked inside and found Darla sitting on the bed, rubbing her stomach and singing softly.

“Do you mind if I come in?” Buffy didn’t know why she wanted to go in but at that moment she felt an instant kinship with the pregnant vampire.

“Not at all, please.” Darla smiled and sat up straighter on the bed.

“One thing straight, you try to eat me and I will kick your ass.” Buffy stated simply. At Darla’s nod she went over and sat on the bed.

“How are you?” Buffy asked gently.

“Oh you know, pregnant with hell spawn of some kind. And you?” Darla inquired flatly.

“You don’t know that. Your baby has a soul; I don’t think it’ll be evil.” Buffy felt uneasy.

“Do you think my baby is human?” Buffy asked suddenly and shifted when Darla just looked at her.

“What? Every time I mention the possibility it might not be to anyone I get beaten down with ‘Of course it is’ and ‘Don’t be silly’. You have no reason to lie to me, you don’t even like me and your pretty much in the same boat.”

Buffy waited for Darla to answer, half dreading what she might say.

“I think that your baby is more likely to be human, from what I can gather you chose to have it, didn’t you? Now mine, I have done everything I can think of to get rid of it and the little fucker is still there. So I would say that mine is definitely not human.” Darla trailed of with a bitter laugh.

“Darla, why would you want to get rid of it?” Buffy asked, shocked.

“Buffy, I’m a four hundred year old Vampire, who has spent the last four centuries wreaking havoc and loving every minute of it. I lost Angelus, then I got the chance to get him back again. I slept with him and he didn’t have a moment of true happiness that apparently is only for you.” Darla chuckled bitterly again before continuing.

“What would I do with a child? What would I want with a child? And you know the really shitty thing? I have feelings at the moment, I love this baby with all of my heart and I can only feel it because of the baby’s soul. That’s what’s causing me to feel love, so what’s going to happen when it comes out? I’m probably going to want to eat it. That’s why I don’t want it.” Darla finished her tirade and tears fell freely down her face.

Buffy overcome with emotion reached for Darla and pulled her into an embrace. Darla hugged at her fiercely and Buffy whispered soothing words, promising herself to speak to Angel about this, there must be something that they could do.

***


Spike found Angel in his room, staring out of a window.

“I’d love to tell you I’m sorry, but I’m not. I love her.” Spike spoke quietly from the door.

Without turning Angel answered.

“And she apparently loves you.”

Spike walked further into the room glancing around, taking in all the things that were his Grand sire. The books, the paintings and the sketches. Most of the rough sketches were of a certain pushy brunette and Spike smiled to himself, wondering if Angel knew what he was even doing.

“What bothers you more? The fact she’s with me, or the fact that’s she’s not with you? Spike asked bluntly.

“I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. I suppose I always thought that me and Buffy… well one day… maybe…I just don’t know.” Angel finally turned, and looked at Spike.

“Things have changed, your going to have a child now. You have a different life here.” Spike pointed out reasonably.

“I know all this Spike, but she’s having a child to, with you. I just can’t help feel that it could have been me. It could be us that are having a child that wasn’t made in a moment of desperation. I don’t love Darla, not like that anymore. And look at the two of you, your going to be a family. I guess I’m jealous.” Angel let out an unneeded sigh.

Spike was taken aback by Angel’s honesty; his heart nearly ached for him.

“If you remember, I was unconscious for the conception of my baby so I think I’ve got you beat on that one.” Spike smiled as Angel let out a little chuckle.

“Angel I really don’t think you realize what you have in your life. Your going to be a father, you know what it means, something that you were never supposed to have has happened for some reason or another and you should be damn grateful for it, God knowsm. Am. Also you have a family, people who love and respect you. But above all that you have someone who loves you for who and what you are. You’re just to busy brooding about what you haven’t got to see it.” Spike let a little bit of anger sound in his voice.

Angel’s eye’s widened comically, well so spike thought.

“Yes mate, she love’s you. And not like a brother way.” Spike laughed out loud as Angel spluttered a bit.

“You really think she loves me?”

“Stroke your own ego. Now what are you going to do about it? I think…. Can you hear that? Someone’s crying….” Spike trailed of as he turned to the door and headed out.