Blood Ties

Exodus

“No! That’s not possible; you read it wrong, Willow! There is no way in hell I’m knocked up. Guy plumbing, remember? Read it again!”

“I’m sorry, Xander, I’ve gone over it as many times as I could. You’re lucky though, they used DNA from both you and Spike, so it is technically your child, not just some random demon DNA getting thrown in there. Apparently they thought the emotional connection that you and Spike had would help you, well, help you want to keep the baby and not spontaneously abort.”

Xander just sat and shook his head. This could not be happening. “No, I don’t believe it. I can’t have kids! For god’s sake, just look at my parents, it’s better for everyone if we Harris’s don’t breed.” He felt as if he were disconnected from his body and the part of his mind that still had soldier memories diagnosed himself with shock. He leaned back into Spike’s embrace and just hit himself drift.

Spike felt his lover’s withdrawal into himself. He wasn’t surprised or upset; after all, Spike had had a couple of days to think about it, Xander had the idea of a baby sprung on him. He was just glad the human hadn’t done something clichéd, like faint.

“Xander, it’s true, you’ve got to deal with this…”

“Not now, okay Red? We’ve got other things to worry about. He's safe for now, right?”

Willow looked at him like he’d just suggested Xander fly. “Not now? Spike, you’ve got to decide what to do! You just can’t let him live in denial or something.”

“I think perhaps that Spike is right; one does not make life altering decisions under duress.” The Watcher looked pale, and he’d been cleaning his glasses as if he could rub away the mental image of a pregnant Xander. He turned to look at the vampireI seI see now why you are so adamant about leaving and I must say that I agree. Where will you go?”

“Don’t know just yet, just away from here for now. We’ll figure out the rest later, once I’m sure we’re safe.” He looked at Willow. “Anything you think I need to know right away, speak up now, Red. I want to be out of this bloody town and somewhere safe before the next sunrise.”

He ran his hands over his lover’s arms, trying to offer comfort. Xander was still as a statue and cool to the touch; shock, Spike figured. No wonder either, not everyday a man found out he was preggers. There was no way Spike was going to try to pull him out of it just now, and he was not going to ask if he was okay. It was obvious he wasn’t.

After a few minutes, during which Willow stared at Spike and watched as he comforted Xander, she finally spoke up. “Well, he’ll be tired, need lots of rest. Vitamins, I guess; Xander isn’t known for his healthy eating habits.” They shared a smile, both thinking of some of the weirder things they’d seen the boy eat. “I so don’t even want to think about his cravings; you’re welcome to that, Spike!”

“Ta much, Red, I’ll find some way to repay you for that!”

“Yes, if you two are quite finished?” Giles sounded as if he was on his last nerve. Spike couldn’t help but wonder what had crawled up the watcher’s butt--it was Xander who was pregnant and they were the ones the Initiative gits were after.

The smile left Willow’s face and she looked down at where her hands were resting on the computer. “Umm, no, that’s not all, but I don’t know much else about male pregnancy or even female pregnancy, for that matter. I’ll have to research, well, we will, cause I know ll hll help, Giles. I just don’t think we should tell…tell Buffy. At least right now.” She looked u Gil Giles and Spike could see the conflict in the Watcher’s eyes.

“Yes, perhaps you’re right. I’d like to think that Buffy would be supportive of Xander in his time of need; however, we must tak take chances with his safety. In the Watcher Diaries there was mention of hybrids, but it is very unusual. What I remember, though, did not include a male and, well…” The Watcher pitched his voice low so that only Spike could hear. “Usually the birth was prevented by the Slayer, or some other agency stepped in to take the child to use for their own purposes.”

Spike couldn’t help but growl at the thought and held Xander tighter to his chest. He wouldn’t let that happen. He felt the boy start to stir and knew he was coming out of his fugue-like state. “Anything else I need to know, Red? Get it all out before Xan here wakes up, don’t want to send him running into himself again.”

“Just one thing. I’m sorry, Spike, but, well, if Xander decides that he doesn’t, well, want to be pregnant…” Spike could feel his face shift to its demonic form and he growled, taking a sort of comfort in watching the human girl jump. How dare she threaten what was his?

“I’m sorry, Spike, but it’s a possibility. Or something could happen to Xander and, well, if you turned him that would stop the pregnancy. It’s something you two will have to figure.” .”

Spike closed his eyes and tried to stop the rage he was feeling. It wouldn’t do to kill his mate’s friend for speaking the truth. As much as he loved the thought of a child he would never give Xander up. A hundred possibilities flitted through his mind; birth defects, mutations. It was terrifying and not something he’d ever thought about before.

“Yeah, Red, I suppose you’re right.” With a quick squeeze to Xander’s arms, he moved the boy over to sit beside his friend and got up to pace. He wanted a cigarette, but one thing he knew was that the smoke was bad for mortals. He didn’t want to make Xander breathe the smoke.

“First things first, how do we get out of town without those bastards finding us? They are not going to be happy that their pet project got away.”

The Watcher got up and went to one of his many bookshelves. “I believe I have something here. From what I could understand of Drusilla’s…comments,” he looked at the vampire, who had gone back to the tea set and was busy trying to bite her doll’s neck, “she said something about a cloak. There is a cloaking spell, one that protects against an enemy finding you. This is by both magickal means and natural. With that and with Willow’s proficiency on the computer, we should be able to erase any trace of Xander and yourself. I’m afraid it won’t do much to erase people’s memories, or affect hard data like books and handwritten notes, but it will help. I’ll have to go get some supplies, though; I’ll need tiger eye gems along with some herbs and some smudge sticks.”

Spike just shook his head and watched as the human mumbled to himself and wrote notes absently in the margins of the newspaper that had been on the table at which he sat. As a rule he didn’t like magicks, they could be unpredictable, but right now he’d take anything. Thinking back on what his Sire had said, he looked to where she was sitting.

“Dru love, what did you mean about the tree’s light?”

“Maiden, Mother and Crone, dancing in the circle. The Light is the Maiden; she belongs to the Tree and will call upon lost innocence. The Sun will shine on the Tree and help her grow. The Little Tree here is the Mother, protecting her cubs. Gentle until a threat and then she’ll bite and gobble you down, bones and all. She is the godmother of the dark moon; the Empress protects her court.”

Drusilla had gotten up to stand in front of Willow and the red haired girl had paled at the description and moved closer to Xander, but Spike thought it suited her. He’d seen what the witch would do to protect her friends and he did not want to be on the receiving end of her magick.

“What about the Crone, pet?”

“The Crone is Death, dark and bloody. Bones that rattle and skull that grins. Justice. Moldering in the grave, the worms care not for noble or peasant. Death brings Life, by clearing out the old to make way for the new. Death brings change, both for good and for ill. I’ll be your Death, my Spike. The toys that want to huhe Lhe Lion and the Dark will feel my scythe as I reap what others have sown. Pale horse and pale rider, galloping through the ranks of the general’s army. But be warned, my Spike, for other seeds have flown to the winds and more than one army wants the Little Dark. The circle must be cast, before the hounds have the scent. Already they are sniffing at the trail, baying to the sky.”

As Spike watched her, Drusilla swayed, running her hands all over her body. Suddenly her eyes snapped open and Spike could almost see the stars that were talking to his Sire.

“Eyes! Hateful eyes, snatg thg the Dark! Can’t see the Tree for the Forest. The Forest is listening, the Woods come to capture at dawn, must stop the Forest or the Tree will lose her Light!” moanmoaned and fell to the floor. Everyone was quiet, and then Willow jumped up.

“Oh my Goddess, Tara! They must be watching Tara to get to me!”

Spike walked over and picked up his Sire laying her down in a chair. He looked over at Xander and sighed heavily. Time to get things going.

“It’s just an hour past sunset, and she said dawn. Red, you’re with me, we’ll go get yoirl irl and pick up whatever supplies the Watcher needs. Watcher, I need you and Drusilla to protect Xander. We won’t be gone long, if I have to steal the bloody ingredients, and don’t you argue, Red!” He walked over and ran a hand through Xander’s hair. He still hadn’t said anything; it was like looking at a living doll and he found himself missing the sparkle in his lover’s eyes.

“See if you can get some tea with lots of sugar down him or something; that should help with the shock. Just don’t let Dru do it, she forgets that humans need to breathe.”

He leaned over and whispered in his lover’s ear. “I’ll be right back, love, gotta run some errands and then we’ll blow this pop stand, okay? I’ll even leave the sign up this time, I know how you hate it when I plow it down.” He leaned forward to kiss his mate, feeling relief when the boy responded. Xander would be okay; he would make sure of it.

****

Three hours later and Xander was there, but quiet. He hadn’t said more than five words at a time and Red and the Watcher looked at him worriedly. What did they expect? Xander wasn’t all babble; the time after Graduation he’d been entirely too quiet, the guilt of his friends’ death eating at his soul. Of course, most of his so-called friends had been busy doing their own thing, leaving Xander by himself as usual. That had suited Spike’s purposes but it had hurt his boy.

For right now Spike contented himself with the feel of Xander in his arms. They were standing in the middle of a huge circle the witches had drawn with herbs and salt in the living room, the furniture having been pushed out of the way. The air was thick with the smell of cedar, rose and vervain. Black Madonna Protection incense, the Light witch had called it.

Spfounfound himself liking the little witch. They hadn’t really gotten to know the girl before they had been captured, but it was obvious she was good for Willow. Plus she hadn’t looked at his boy like a freak or science experiment, she’d merely stuttered how glad she was that they were out and safe.

Despite her shyness, Spike could sense an old and powerful soul. Somehow, the thought of this girl helping with the spell to protect them made him feel better than knowing the other three would have their fingers in it. She had a calming, grounding effect.

Xander had remained impassive as they watched the magick users go about their work; casting the circle, calling the quarters and the like. Now they were on the main work, the protection spell. Giles had stepped back with the other two men and the three women gathered around the table turned altar.

In the middle of the table were two rings, silver with what was called falcon’s eye; the blue version of the tiger eye. The two candles that were lit made the gems look as if they were almost winking.

Tara stepped forward, her hair pulled back out of her eyes. She lit a white candle and took a deep breath.

“I call upon Badb, Maiden Goddess.
She who stirs the Cauldron eatheath and Rebirth.
Lend your energies Great Lady to these two objects.
Let them protect our friends and hide them from enemy eyes.”

She stepped back and it was Willow’s turn to light a candle, this time red.

“I call upon Macha, Mother Goddess.
Queen of the Land, Guardian of Childbirth.
Lend your energies Great Lady to these two objects.
Let them protect our friends and hide them from enemy eyes.”

This time before she stepped back she lit the black candle for Drusilla. Everyone had agreed it was a bad idea to give the insane vampire any type of open flame. Drusilla almost sang her part, and the difference between her and the two human women was slightly chilling, even to Spike.

“Grandmother Death, Old Crone; hear my call.
Dark Goddess of Banishing and Helper to those who must overcome their enemies.
The stars ask that you protect my two boys and the coming child.
Nemain call our rur ravens, claw and bite those that watch and wish to harm.”

Once again Tara stepped forward and Spike knew the magick was nearly done. The final candle, this time an indigo blue, was lit, and more herbs added to the censor.

“We call upon The Morrigan, Maiden, Mother and Crone.
We ask for protection, and for our enemies to be confused.
Please Great Lady, Triple Goddess, help Xander and Spike find their path.
Guard their steps, and stll wll who may harm.
May this spell not reverse, or place upon us any curse.
As You will it Great Lady, So mote it be.”

****

Xander watched impassively while the others opened the circle and cleaned up. He’d seen Willow do magick before, but this had felt different, somehow. The ring he was wearing felt as if it almost had a charge to it and it was warm to the touch. He found himself turning it round and round on his finger.

“If you’re going to…to play with that, Xander, turn it widdershins, counter clockwise. That…that will banish any negative energy.”

He looked over at Tara; her head was down and her hair had come undone, hiding her face. During the ritual she had projected such an aura of tranquility and power; now she was back to blushing and stammering. At least she didn’t look at him like he was soort ort of freak.

He was beginning to believe what Willow had told him. She wouldn’t lie, not about something like this. Still, he wasn’t ready to think about it just yet, at least not while Willow was looking at him with those big eyes and Giles was going from anger to scientific curiosity.

“Thanks.” He stood there next to her as Willow gathered papers and talked with Spike and Giles. They would be leaving soon. Drusilla had already slipped out of the house, saying she had to protect them from the nasty eyes and stop the angels. He figured Buffy had called Deadboy and he was on the way from L. A. All the more reason to get the fuck out of Dodge. He hoped Dru could stall him; Angel would have no problem with staking Spike to save Xander from himself.

The funny thing was that if Angelus was around neither Spike nor Xander would have had a problem going to him for help. Not the Angelus that almost sent the world to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200. No, they would have gone to the Angelus of a century ago, who would do anything to protect his family, even his annoying grandchilde.

The girl beside him sighed ever so softly; her eyes were on Willow as she spoke quietly to Spike, her hands waving.

“Umm, Wills said that you helped her not give up on me. Thanks. I’m sorry we didn’t get to know each other.”

“I guess I feel like I do know you, from what Willow has told me. But I’m glad we could meet and I promise not to say anything about...well, anything.”

“Do me a favor? Take care of her, will you? For me? You’ll have to sneak her an Easter Basket, her folks never let her have one. Okay, so I know you’re both pagan and it's different now, but give her one from me. And don’t let her think that magick is all she can do; she’s more than that. Sometimes Buffy, well, Buffy doesn’t always see beyond the witch label, just like she misses the regular guy behind the Watcher. They forget, too. That was my job, to make them remember they’re human.” He closed his eyes, the thought of leaving his friends forever weighing heavily on his heart.

“Angel, well, don’t let Angel fool you. Underneath all that guilt and self-pity is a killer, and from what I saw at Thanksgiving he still only has eyes for Buffy. Fuck, he didn’t even seem to care that Spike was hurt and he’s supposed to be family! For all that Buffy may care for Riley she’ll still turn to Angel, she’s done it tonight from what Dru said. Giles, Giles needs to remember that he can’t know everything, and I won’t be here to pop his bubble.”

He lifted his hand and raised her face, making sure Tara was looking him in the eye. “Take care of my family for me; if Willow loves you I trust you, and they’ll need you.”

“Xander, I don’t know if I can be all that.” The stutter was gone, but she still looked ready to run. She was flushed with embarrassment and he thought he could see what Willow saw.

“Yes, you can. It’s hard sometimes, but you are strong, no matter what anyone from your past has told you.” Her head tried to duck again, but he wouldn’t let her run. “I can see a kindred soul, Tara; my birth family doesn’t care if I live or die, but the Scoobies do. Even if we’re fightie cae care. They’ll be your family, too. I’m proud to say I met the real Tara McClay tonight, the one who’s helped someone she barely knows, the one who’s brave enough to work magick with an insane vampire, the one who called the Goddess. So I know you can do it. Take care of them and yourself.”

She looked at him and he could almost see the gears in her head working. She nodded and he pulled her into a hug. He really wished he’d had a chance to know her better ... maybe someday. He could feel people looking at him, and he knew that the others were finished. He let Tara go and turned around.

“Willow.”

“Oh Xander!” She was sobbing and threw herself in his arms, pulling back for a brief moment before he held her tighter.

“God, Wills, I’m going to miss you! I never meant to leave like this, I always thought we could come back and bug you guys till you got old and gray and forgot who I was. Be good, Wills, listen to Tara, you’ve got a great girl there.” His oldest friend was crying, his shirt was getting damp, but he didn’t care.

“I gave Spike some information, like how to use pre-paid cell phones and set up blind email accounts. If I don’t hear from you soon I will come looking for you, no matter what. So you’d better call, mister! If I find you and you just forgot to call you’ll wish the bad guys had caught you!”

“I will, pinky swear.” Willow let go and turned to Tara, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend and continuing to cry silently. “Please don’t cry, Willow, you know that’s my kryptonite!” He was rewarded with a laugh. “That’s better.”

Spike was waiting by the front door, and Xander could see he was anxious to leave. Still, this had to be done for his peace of mind. He turned to Giles.

“Well, G-man ... guess you won’t have to hear that anymore. Thanks Giles, thanks for being a better Dad than my original one. I’ll miss you.” With that, he ignored every rule of male companionship he and Giles had built over the past three and a half years by hugging the older man tight. After a moment Giles hugged him back. “Take care of my girls for me, Giles, and, hey, be good to yourself. Get out of the apartment and live a little.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t pay more attention to you this year, Xander, then maybe this might not have happened. I’ll miss you. I won’t miss the pizza stains on Tobin’s Spirit Guide, but I’ll miss you. Son.”

Xander closed his eyes at the rush of emotion that one word provoked before he turned into a bad joke and started crying. He settled instead for holding the man tighter for a moment and then let go, stepping away from the human and moving closer to his lover.

“You guys tell Buffy I love her, will you? I know she’s just worried about me, but this is something I want, Spike is something I want and I’m not giving him up for anything.” Spike came forward and he leaned into his lover, gaining strength from the vampire.

Before they could leave Willow spoke up.

“Spike, I don’t think I need to tell you that if you hurt Xander in any way, well, you won’t be able to hide from me. Take care of them, I mean it.” Xander could feel the magick radiating from his oldest friend.

“Don’t worry, Red, I’ll have walked in the sun before you found me. But I figured I’d get the shovel warning, not the magick one. Glad you think I rate the big guns. Don’t worry; gits like these army blokes always seem to self-destruct. You won’t be rid of my sexy body that easily.”

***

An hour later and Xander wust ust sitting, watching the cars go by in the darkness, the red taillights in front of them flickering in the spring rain that had started as they left the Dale. No one had stopped them; they had managed to drive right past the roadblocks.

They were taking a chance of running into Angel and going south, heading for Oxnard where Spike had some connections from last summer. Then they were going east; if they sped like the devil was after them they might be able to make Nevada before dawn. Spike had made a cto sto some people and a car with special tinting was waiting in Oxnard so they could drive even if the sun caught them out.

He knew they should be thinking about the big stuff. Where they were going, how to hide from the government. But it was all too much right now, so instead he worried about Spike’s driving, which wasn’t as bad as usual, and the lack of Snickers and other road trip snacks.

“Spike?”

“Yeah, Love?”

“Tell me it’s going to be all right, even if you have to lie.” He could see Spike looking at him from the corner of his eye; he’d long since stopped looking for his reflection. They had the radio on and Pat Benatar’s 'Shadows of the Night' was playing in the background. How fitting.

Spike reached over and pulled him into a one-armed embrace.

“Yeah, Love, we’ll be great. No Hellmouth, no Slayer. It’ll be our Honeymoon. Maybe I’ll take you to that town in Pennsylvania, where they make all the chocolate. Or we could go to Chicago and see the baseball team you make fun of. We can do all sort of things, Love, just you wait and see.”

“No we can’t, Spike.”

“And why not, Love?”

“Because Husband-mine, I’m pregnant.”




“We’re running with the shadows of tightight
So baby take my hand, it’ll be all right
Surrender all your dreams to me tonight
They’ll come true in the end”

Pat Benatar’s Shadows of the Night