The Journal of Buffy Summers
folder
AtS/BtVS Crossovers › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
16
Views:
4,548
Reviews:
74
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
AtS/BtVS Crossovers › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
16
Views:
4,548
Reviews:
74
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS) or Angel, the Series (AtS); nor any of the characters from them. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Page 5 – Bitter Sweet Moments on Borrowed Time
Click on the following link to view my album for this story
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/vettehayden/album?.dir=/8325&.src=ph
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Well typed this up this morning – I was trying to figure out a way of leading up to a love scene between Buffy and Spike. So this will be the build up to that scene before Buffy will view what is on the video. Heaven help me in trying out my first time to write a love/sex scene!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Page 5 – Bitter Sweet Moments on Borrowed Time
I don’t know how many times my hand reached out to push that button only to seemingly pull away of its own accord. It was no longer part of my body the appendage was rebelling against what my conscious mind was willing…no demanding for it to do, refusing to obey.
Over and over again like a jumper attempting to judge a great distance over an impossible expanse running up to the edge and then falling back a little further trying to gain the right momentum. Knowing that it would take a few more attempts to finally get the right speed and distance to cross over to the other side. Also knowing that once that void was crossed there was no going back.
The expanse was a wall of flame mesmerizing, tantalizing, and beckoning me forward into its embrace. Truth and reality were the fires and fire burns; purifies burning away illusions and lies giving new life from their ashes.
For me time stood still and my world became focused on that one button making me live and die a thousand times over. I was trapped in limbo remembering and re-living segments from my past burning away all my carefully constructed illusions.
Flash – my loss of innocence at the skilled and loving hands of Angel.
Flash – the aftermath of our coupling and the lives it destroyed in our wake.
Flash – all the moments leading up to the realization that we could no longer be together.
Flash – Spike always present during the most vulnerable moments of my life.
Flash – Spike forcing me to face harsh truths.
Flash – Spike loving, comforting and hurting me.
Flash – Spike leaving only to return with a soul.
Flash – Spike’s eyes and the depth of love I saw within its depths.
Flash – Spike gone.
My mind was reeling; spinning caught in a burning vortex frozen in a moment in time until I was burned to ashes and from those ashes I was reborn with the truth that I LOVE SPIKE! Unconditionally, undeniably and eternally without reservation or doubt and that was my truth.
I’ll always love Angel but Spike is my destiny, my purpose my reason for being.
Angel was our “right of passage” that both Spike and I had to endure to find our way to each other. Our love was born from the ashes of our jaded love for him, our mentor, tormentor and friend.
Next to Spike I’ll never love another like I love Angel but we were not meant to be but for a brief moment in time.
Closing my eyes I wept out of sadness for the closure of shutting the door to my heart to Angel while at the same time rejoicing for the love I felt for Spike.
It was painful and bittersweet and before I saw what happened to take the two most important men in my life away from me I had to taste the sweet memory of our last time together to cherish that memory before defiling it with what was held on that video.
Giles you may want to skip the next page because I will not out of respect for Spike leave out any details.
Tbc...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My thanks to my reviewers as follows:
Katrina – I always love your reviews and am glad that I could surprise you with my last chapter.
DeerintheHeadlights – I agree with your comment of Buffy not being “Key” in her role as guardian over the watchers and slayers but like all paths some journeys need to be taken and experienced before one is complete and whole before taking over the reins of command and/or control.
lisa marie – thanks glad you are enjoying the story and to leave Angel out of Buffy’s life is to only write half her story.
LadyLiz – Only because you asked did I bang my head against a wall to build up to a chapter so that a love scene could be inserted without detracting from the story. Glad you are enjoying!
Soulboyjr – Thank you **HUGS** for your review it really helps to keep me focused on typing the next chapter.
Thanks to all those who have read and hope you enjoy this latest chapter!
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/vettehayden/album?.dir=/8325&.src=ph
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Well typed this up this morning – I was trying to figure out a way of leading up to a love scene between Buffy and Spike. So this will be the build up to that scene before Buffy will view what is on the video. Heaven help me in trying out my first time to write a love/sex scene!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Page 5 – Bitter Sweet Moments on Borrowed Time
I don’t know how many times my hand reached out to push that button only to seemingly pull away of its own accord. It was no longer part of my body the appendage was rebelling against what my conscious mind was willing…no demanding for it to do, refusing to obey.
Over and over again like a jumper attempting to judge a great distance over an impossible expanse running up to the edge and then falling back a little further trying to gain the right momentum. Knowing that it would take a few more attempts to finally get the right speed and distance to cross over to the other side. Also knowing that once that void was crossed there was no going back.
The expanse was a wall of flame mesmerizing, tantalizing, and beckoning me forward into its embrace. Truth and reality were the fires and fire burns; purifies burning away illusions and lies giving new life from their ashes.
For me time stood still and my world became focused on that one button making me live and die a thousand times over. I was trapped in limbo remembering and re-living segments from my past burning away all my carefully constructed illusions.
Flash – my loss of innocence at the skilled and loving hands of Angel.
Flash – the aftermath of our coupling and the lives it destroyed in our wake.
Flash – all the moments leading up to the realization that we could no longer be together.
Flash – Spike always present during the most vulnerable moments of my life.
Flash – Spike forcing me to face harsh truths.
Flash – Spike loving, comforting and hurting me.
Flash – Spike leaving only to return with a soul.
Flash – Spike’s eyes and the depth of love I saw within its depths.
Flash – Spike gone.
My mind was reeling; spinning caught in a burning vortex frozen in a moment in time until I was burned to ashes and from those ashes I was reborn with the truth that I LOVE SPIKE! Unconditionally, undeniably and eternally without reservation or doubt and that was my truth.
I’ll always love Angel but Spike is my destiny, my purpose my reason for being.
Angel was our “right of passage” that both Spike and I had to endure to find our way to each other. Our love was born from the ashes of our jaded love for him, our mentor, tormentor and friend.
Next to Spike I’ll never love another like I love Angel but we were not meant to be but for a brief moment in time.
Closing my eyes I wept out of sadness for the closure of shutting the door to my heart to Angel while at the same time rejoicing for the love I felt for Spike.
It was painful and bittersweet and before I saw what happened to take the two most important men in my life away from me I had to taste the sweet memory of our last time together to cherish that memory before defiling it with what was held on that video.
Giles you may want to skip the next page because I will not out of respect for Spike leave out any details.
Tbc...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My thanks to my reviewers as follows:
Katrina – I always love your reviews and am glad that I could surprise you with my last chapter.
DeerintheHeadlights – I agree with your comment of Buffy not being “Key” in her role as guardian over the watchers and slayers but like all paths some journeys need to be taken and experienced before one is complete and whole before taking over the reins of command and/or control.
lisa marie – thanks glad you are enjoying the story and to leave Angel out of Buffy’s life is to only write half her story.
LadyLiz – Only because you asked did I bang my head against a wall to build up to a chapter so that a love scene could be inserted without detracting from the story. Glad you are enjoying!
Soulboyjr – Thank you **HUGS** for your review it really helps to keep me focused on typing the next chapter.
Thanks to all those who have read and hope you enjoy this latest chapter!