Lost Without You

((Sorry for the extreme lack of updates. I was at my sisters for 2 weeks and her computer crashed so I couldn’t get on. But I wrote a bunch of chapters, all I need to do is type them and get them on here. Sorry guys. I also started a new story called "Crimson Regret" and you guys should check that out too, the first couple chapters should be up in a couple days.

Also, I know I'm portraying Xander as an asshole and I promise there will be a reason for that in later chapters.))

Chapter 5

[Faiths POV]

I ran and I ran. Fuck, I don’t even know where I was running to, I just needed to get out of there. It felt like I was eleven again, my moms boyfriend telling me how worthless I am. That I'm such a whore and people will only be satisfied with that’s between my legs. I hated it and what did I do? I fucking proved him right. I've fucked so many different people, so many differwaysways. Fucked for money, fucked for drugs. I got over the drugs but I'm still a whore whichever way you put it. I'm worthless, I'll always be fucking worthless.

I ran outside and collapsed on the ground in a ball, crying. I despise crying, it’s the biggest sing of weakness. But of course stupid Faith will break down at any reminder of her fucked up past. I slam my fist threw a wooden banister, breaking it.

"I fucking hate you! HATE YOU!" I put my head in my hands and cry more.

"Hate who?" Buffy asked quietly from the doorway. *Fuck how long as she been there?*

I look up at her, tears streaming dmy fmy face, "Me."

She walked over to me slowly and knelt down next to me. "Faith…"

I look away quickly, "Just don’t Buffy, okay? I'm sorry, you shouldn’t get involved with me."

"Faith look at me."

I turn my head and she wipes the tears off my cheeks, "Xander was being an asshole, ll tll throw anything at you that he thinks will hurt. You're not nothing Faith, your something to -me-." I look into her eyes and was surprised to see honesty in them.

"Really?" I choke out.

She smiled, "Yeah, really. You're really special, Faith. I know you went threw hell and back yet you came out stronger. I know I would have -never- survived what you did. You’re an amazing woman, and a hell of a slayer. Believe in yourself… I do." She leaned in and kissed me lightly on the lips. *How can this woman make me feel so good?*

She stood up and helped me up, "Come on, lets get you cleaned up." She smiled and at me and I smiles back weakly. "Tha"Thank you," I whisper as we head inside. She takes me into the bathroom and gets a paper towel and wets it.

"Baby you really shouldn’t cry with all that makeup on." She chuckled lightly and gently wiped the running eyeliner and mascara off my face.

"What?"

"I said you shouldn’t cry with all that makeup on."

No, I mean… you called me baby," I say with a smile on my face.

She blushes a little and looks down, "Yeah, I guess I did." Sookeooked back up and wipes the rest of it off my face.

"I liked it…" I smile and then dip my head down to capture her lips with my own. The kiss started out slow and I snaked my tongue out to run it over her bottom lip. She opened up her mouth a little, granting me access and I massage her tongue with mine while she tangles her hands in my hair. She started to back me up against a wall roughly while starting to go under my shirt but I broke the kiss and pushed her away a little.

"B…"

She looked really worried, "I'm sorry, did I push? I-I just thought…" She looked down, "I don’t know."

I tilt up her chin to look at me, "Buffy, I just, and this is really weird for me but… I was to take it slow. I've never had a real relationship before and I'm not really sure what it consist of but I have a good idea. I just don’t want it to be all about lust, you know?"

She nodded, "Yeah, me too. I want all of you Faith, not just your body. Although you do have a -really- nice body…" She grinned and she looked me up and down.

I blushed a little, "Thanks. I've heard that more times than I can count but it actually means something coming for you." I smile, "And don't worry B, you never struck me as the 'get some, get gone' type so I knew you wanted more than what I can offer in bed. You're a feelings girl, and that’s what I love about you.

She grinned, "You know, you put up such a bad girl front but really your just the sweetest thing." I make a face and she laughs, "Really, you are! And I love it, both sides of you make up the perfect woman."

I just keep smiling really big and she takes my hand, "Come on, lets go have lunch." She leads me out of the bathroom and we walk to the front death where Red, Kennedy, Angel, Cordelia, and Xander were. Xander was giving me death stares because B was holding my hand. Angel also didn’t look too happy but he's Angel and will always sulk silently. *Well this will be fun.*

Willow noticed the tension and spoke first, "Ookayy, where do you guys want to go to eat?"

Buffy looked around, "Wait, where's Giles? Is he coming?"

Angel spoke, "No, I talked to him and he said he had something to do."

Buffy nodded and Xander shot, "Hey Faith why don’t you go with Giles so we don’t have to worry about you stabbing us in the back during lunch."

"Xander shut up!" Buffy and Willow yelled.

"Xander I'm not gonna stab anyone…" I start.

Xander ignored me and turned to Buffy, "So what's going on between you and Faith, huh Buff? You fucking the little whore? When the hell did you become a dyke?"

Buffy moved towards Xander to hurt him but I held her back, "Buffy don’t, you'll regret it."

She stopped but yelled, "Xander what the hell is wrong with you?! You never acted like this, what the fuck is going on?! You were fine when we were back in Sunnydale!"

"You didn’t answer my question Buffy," Xander said icily.

"Okay fine, you want the truth? I like Faith, I do. No I haven't slept with her although that is no business f yours even if I did. So back off Xander!" I wrap my arms around her, just to make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid if Xander is, well… stupid.

"Well don’t get too comfy with her cause once you give it up she's gone. Actually you know what? As long as you're with her, I'm gone. Have fun at lunch." He turned away and stomped out of the room.

"Grr! Forget him!" Buffy yelled. "Let's got o lunch." She grabbed a hold of my hand and pulled me out the door with everyone else following behind.