A loving heart is beg beginning of all knowledge

CHAPTER 11
Joyce was in the living room looking for a file when she was startled by Buffy suddenly opening the front door and running up the stairs. She heard the door to her daughter’s room slam shut, and her brow frowned in worry. When she heard the unmistakable sobs coming from the room she hurried up the stairs and knocked gently on the door.

“Buffy, can I come in?” When the crying continued Joyce opened the door and moved quickly to the bed to gather Buffy in her arms.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” She could probably count on one hand the times she had seen her daughter cry like this. Itriedried her deeply.

Her mother’s soothing caresses managed to calm Buffy. She took several deep breaths to clear her mind. Her mom was no fool. Although Joyce hadn’t said anything at breakfast about Buffy’s note, Buffy knew her mom had to have figured out that she’d slept at Giles’ house. Joyce would guess what had happened between them. She figured her mom would listen rationally to what she had to say. And then kick the crap out of Giles later.

She wiped some errant tears from her face as she sat up in the bed.
“My memories came back today.” Her mom’s look of joy was almost comical, and Buffy would have laughed if she had any humour left.

“They did? Oh honey, that’s wonderful. Are you all right? When did this happen?”

“I’m fine. Well, sort of fine. They came to me all suddenly after breakfast when I was crossing the cemetery heading for the Magic Box to see Giles.”

Her tears started again when she remembered how excited she haen, en, and how she couldn’t wait to be in his arms again. The sudden rush of memories that hit her had made her sink to theund.und. She’d spent almost two hours rooted to the spot processing the myriad memories that had washed over her.

“Is that why you’re crying?” her mom said as she stroked her cheek. “You’ve been through a lot, and I am sad to say that many of your memories are very painful.” Buffy shook her head and steeled herself.

“No. Well, yes, they were a little painful, but that’s not why I am crying.” She took a deep breath and continued. “My memories also put what happened between Giles and me in a different perspective.” With a sudden flare of anger Buffy slammed her hand into the mattress. “I can’t believe he had the balls to do what he did!”

At her mom’s questioning look, she exclaimed. “He took advantage of me, mom. He knew how I felt about him, and he didn’t think twice about using me for his own pleasure!”

Joyce was completely confused and asked the only question that popped into her head.
“Took advantage of you? By kissing you? Buffy, you’ve been in love with that man for the longest time and now you say he took advantage of you by kissing you? Something that you have wanted for the longest time?”

A little startled that her mom had read her like an open book, Buffy needed a few seconds before she could continue.

“No, not kissing me mom, the fact that he slept with me, withouvingving any qualms about it!”
Her mom’s surprised look made her just more confused.

“You slept with him?” Joyce whispered in shock. “Wha? um, when did this happen?”

“What do you mean when did this happen?” Buffy answered. “Hello, last night. Thus the empty bed this morning.”

“Last night? Buffy what do you mean? I saw you with my own eyes in bed last night. We even talked while you were in bed before I turned in.”

Something suddenly dawned on Buffy, and for a moment she seriously reconsidered her choice of being this open with her mother.

“You didn’t check my room this morning, did you, before you went to work?” Joyce shook her head, still trying to process the fact that Buffy had just told her she had slept with Giles.

“No, I had to leave early. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Mom, I couldn’t sleep last night. All I was thinking about was Giles, so I decided to head over there. I left you a note so you wouldn’t getriedried. I figured you didn’t mention it this morning because you probably weren’t all that comfortable discussing your daughter’s sex life during breakfast.”

Joyce only looked at her, so Buffy figured she should continue before her mom got her bearings.

“Anyway, I went there. I won’t go into detail, but you can draw your own conclusions. But, but,” Buffy suddenly started crying again and Joyce gathered her in her arms, “I never would have expected Giles to act the way he did. I thought he loved me!”

“But he didn’t say it, even once! This morning I figured he hadn’t said it because he needed some time, or, oh I don’t know, some other reason. But when my memories came back, I also got the memories back of what kind of a man Giles is. Or what I thought he was. Not once had it ever crossed my mind that he would be able to take someone into his bed without being in love with her. I mean, he was supposed to be a good guy. Not ‘come here and I’ll take advantage of you’ guy!”

As Buffy started crying again, Joyce continued to hold her while she thought about what Buffy had said. There was no doubt in her mind that Buffy had misunderstood. But that didn’t prevent her from getting a little angry at Giles. He had clearly not thought through his actions, and she was holding her crying daughter in her arms because of it.

Still, she couldn’t help but listen to the voice in the back of her head saying that this needed to be fixed. The happiness she had seen in her daughters eyes last night, and come to think about it, this morning, was the happiest she had ever seen Buffy. She was determined to see it return. There was only one thing to do.

When Buffy finally fell asleep from exhaustion, Joyce quietly scribbled a note for Buffy, and headed to the Magic box to talk to Giles.

CHAPTER 12
In the meantime, Willow and Tara had returned to the Magic Box. They explained to Xander and Anya that they’d had no luck in solving the situation. They were saddened when they found out thandernder and Anya’s attempts had been just as futile. Giles hadn’t set foot outside of the training room. The Scoobies were still discussing possible solutions whoyceoyce entered the store.

She gave them a fleeting smile, before she asked, “Where is Mr. Giles?”

Xander silently pointed towards the training room, and Joyce headed towards it without another word. As soon as she closed the door, the gang scrambled over to press their ears to it. They didn’t want to miss a single word.

When Giles heard the door open, he ran a hand over his face, stood and prepared to face one of the Scoobies – probably Anya or Xander coming back to try to talk to him. Nothing had prepared him for Joyce and he was momentarily dumbstruck.

“Hello Mr. Giles. I think we need to talk”, she said as she approached him. All he could do was nod numbly. Joyce took a seat on the couch and gestured for him to sit beside her.

He placed his head in his hands again, and Joyce had to smother the need to pat his shoulder in comfort. Even though she could see he was in as much pain as Buffy, she couldn’t help but still be a little angry at him. When it came to her daughter, she grudgingly admitted she could be more than a little irrational.

“Do you maybe want to tell me what happened?” she started.

“God what was I thinking?” He said in a defeated voice. “I just couldn’t help it. After that kiss, my head was swimming. When she came to me, it was like a dream come true. They way she touched me, the way she looked at me. As if I was everything she had ever looked for. I was totally unable to resist her.

Who am I kidding? She’s everything I’ve ever looked for. I couldn’t have resisted her if I’d tried. I have been in love with her for so long. After last night I truly believed she felt the same way. I wanted to tell her so much.

But I decided to wait. Her memory wasn’t back. I was worried that there might be a small chance that her feelings about me were misplaced. I simply couldn’t say the words until she could understand what they meant.

But, Christ, she was so angry and hurt today.” He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what had happened.

Joyce felt her heart go out to him and asked, “Have you thought of a way to fix this?”


On the other side of the door of the training room, the eyes of the eavesdroppers had grown large as he’d talked. This was not what they’d been expecting.

“What are you guys doing?” a voice suddenly said from the front of the shop. Xander almost jumped a mile up in the air as the others turned around.

“Buffy!” Willow said. “Eh, we’re just, ah, you know, just . . . ”

“Is he in there?” Buffy cut Willow off. They all responded with sheepish nods.

“And my mom too” she said more as a statement than a question. Another group nod quickly followed. Without a word, Buffy approached them, and they parted to let her put a hand on the doorknob to open it.

“I don’t know”, Giles said in answer to Joyce’s question. “Of course I’ll try to talk to her. I’ll beg her forgiveness. But if worst comes to worst, I’ll leave. I don’t want to put her through anything more.”

“WHAT?” a voice suddenly exclaimed, startling both Joyce and Giles. Both heads shot up and looked towards the door. Buffy was standing in the doorway, her face contorted with hurt, the entire Scooby gang behind her.

The next thing he thing knew, Giles found himself with an armful of Buffy. She clung to him, crying, “No, please don’t leave! You promised me you’d never leave me! You promised Giles!”

CHAPTER 13
Completely stunned, it took Giles a few seconds to put his arms around her. Then he thanked every power he could think of that he got to hold her one last time. As Buffy’s tears continued to dampen his shirt, he found his voice. “Buffy, I can’t stay when it’s like this between us.”

Joyce decided this was not a place for her to be anymore. She ushered the others outside and closed the door behind her. This was a private moment between her daughter and Giles. But just in case they managed to screw this up as well, she would stay near until she saw with her own eyes they had worked it out. The Scoobie gang, willing to give the couple room to be alone, stood outside too.

In the training room, neither Buffy nor Giles noticed Joyce’s exit. Giles led Buffy to the couch. Instead of sitting beside him she crawled into his lap and choked out, “I’m sorry. I promise I’m not mad anymore. Just please don’t leave me. I love you too much!”

Giles froze and then gently coaxed her to raise her head so he could look into her eyes.

“What did you say?” he whispered, hoping against hope that what she said was real.

Buffy, suddenly afraid she’d said the last thing he wanted to hear, continued in a rush. “It’s ok you don’t feel the same way. I’ll try to get over it, just prom--”

The remainder of that sentence was cut off as Giles’ lips descended on hers and plundered her mouth.

Several minutes passed as mouths and tongues tangled. When he finally let her lips go Buffy was too stunned to move. She just stared at his smiling face.

“You silly girl” he gently chided. “Whatever made you think I didn’t feel the same way? I love you so much I can’t even put it into words.” Still afraid that the last couple of minutes had been some cruel joke she quietly responded.

“But, last night you didn’t say a word. When my memories came back I figured you had just used me.” Ooops, Buffy thought as she saw Giles’ reaction. That was apparently not the best thing to say.

“You thought WHAT?” Giles exclaimed outraged.

Out in the other room, all eyes shot to the door with worry when they heard Giles’ livid voice.

Buffy started to salvage what she could when Giles suddenly crushed her to him in a bone-shattering hug.

“God! We must be the two most emotionally retarded people I know,” he mumbled after a few seconds. Buffy relaxed in his arms and giggled.

“Yeah, but at least we’re emotionally retarded together” she responded as she lifted her lips to his. When he didn’t respond she pulled back to look at his face and suspiciously moist eyes. “We are together right? As in kissing, dating, dinner, dancing, hand-holding, marriage, kids, more kissing and making love all night.”

At his loving nod and smile she felt all the hurt and pain vaporize. Her smile lit the room before she placed her lips on his. When air once again became an issue, he gently let go of her mouth. He wrapped his arms tightly around her as she put her head on his chest, revelling in the feel of his body close to hers. After a few minutes of bliss, Giles asked playfully.

“All night? God woman, I’m not a machine.”

The occupants of the main room in the Magic Box visible relaxed when they heard Buffy’s happy laugh drift through the door, closely followed by deep male laughter which was unmistakably Giles’.

TBC