Watchers Council

Chapter 5

“I just think building houses on Mayfair is a bit of a busman’s holiday for you, that’s all” Giles shrugged and looked at the girls for some support.

“You’re just annoyed cause we wouldn’t play Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit” Xander rubbed his hands together and passed the dice to Willow. “Come on Willow, Mayfair rental awaits you”

Willow shook her head and scanned the board for the various positions and property rights before throwing the dice. “Haha!” she shouted and moved the hat to a Community Chest square. “I win another beauty contest, you all have to give me ten pounds” she waved the card under everyone’s nose and grinned.

“How do we know you’re not using witchy tricks to always land on those squares and always win the beauty contests?” Buffy asked in a slightly peeved tone of voice as she handed over yet another bill.

“Don’t need to cheat” Willow grinned and collected her money from the others. “Anyway, I’m the obvious one to win the beauty contests aren’t I guys?” she looked between both of them.

Giles swallowed nervously and met Xander’s eyes across the board. “My turn I think?” he suggested, picking up the dice and studiously ignoring Willow’s question.

“Indeed it is Mr Giles, let’s see how much rental you can pay me this time” Xander carried the conversation further away from the minefield they were trying to avoid.

“Hey, wait a minute” Buffy caught the dice in mid air as they left Giles’ hand. “Are you trying to tell me you think Willow is prettier than me?” she asked incredulously.

“Actually we were trying to avoid having to answer at all” Giles admitted and held his hand out for the dice.

Buffy met Willow’s gaze across the board and saw the mischief in her friend’s eyes coupled with a slightly raised eyebrow. She smiled sweetly, accepting the silent challenge and stood up from the floor, stretching a little and stepping over the empty chip bags beside her. “Well I think it’s a discussion we should have, after all, we’re all adults and I think Willow’s a big enough girl to hear the truth now”

Willow stood up and stretched a little herself, knowing full well that she didn’t have the physique of the slayer but not wanting to give in completely at the beginning. “I’m sure even coming second would boost your confidence during this dry spell you’ve been having” Willow pretended to yawn and stalked towards the sofa.

Giles looked towards Xander and saw the same panicked expression he was sure was mirrored on his own face. “Perhaps we could watch a video instead?” he suggested and heard Xander agreeing with him as he turned to switch the TV on.

“Why is this so difficult?” Buffy asked. “I’m sure someone as clever as you can find the words to let Willow down gently” she smiled at Giles.

“Drinks!” Xander suggested and jumped up to head for the kitchen. “Willow what can I get you?” he asked as he sidestepped the leg that she stuck out to catch him.

“Beer will be fine thank you Xander” she smiled sweetly at him. “Perhaps Buffy would prefer some water, I’ve noticed the bags under her eyes are getting a little puffier”

“Hey” Buffy finally gave up on the cool vixen act and threw a cushion at her friend. “Give it up red, they’re never going to pick you over me”

“Depends what the criteria for choosing are” Giles suggested quietly and lowered himself into a large armchair.

“Hey G-Man what are you doing, don’t get involved” Xander begged him.

Willow was looking at him with a smirk on her face and a calculating look in her eyes. “What criteria do you usually measure a woman on?” she asked and settled down with her beer to wait for his answer.

Buffy was looking surprised but happy at the turn in events and Xander was just looking scared. “Hey, how about we get back to the weird British Monopoly, I was getting the hang of it” he pointed towards the board but knew he had little chance of finishing his game tonight.

“Let Giles answer” Buffy suggested and moved to sit next to Willow on the sofa. Xander sighed and threw himself into the remaining armchair, midway between Giles and the girls.

Giles took his time, watching both of his friends as they lounged beside each other. He took a deep breath. “I think you are both uniquely attractive young women who each have your own strengths” he smiled slightly and thought that this would be enough to get him off the hook.

He should have known better. “What strengths?” Willow asked and saw Xander settling into his chair for a long night ahead. “For each of us I mean, what is it that attracts men to one instead of the other?”

“I’m guessing that we’re talking about something other than physical preferences?” he stalled as he frantically tried to think how he had gotten himself into this situation and how he was going to get out of it with their friendships still intact. Buffy and Willow both nodded. “Well I would suppose the fact that you are both strong, independent women would attract most men in the beginning”

“You’re not listening” Buffy shook her head. “We know how alike we are in many things but why would a man choose one of us over the other?”

“Are you sure you want to have this discussion?” he asked and took a sip of his beer. “We can just assume I was having some kind of momentary lapse due to my advanced age and go back to the game”

Willow shook her head and seemed deep in thought. “This is just a game as well Giles, we know that you don’t feel that way about either of us and we’re just curious as to how the male mind works when faced with two similar, reasonably attractive, intelligent women”

“What she said” Buffy agreed and grinned. “If we asked Xander he’d just get stuck on the bikini issue and we wouldn’t get any sense out of him” she smirked at Xander.

“I don’t know” he sighed. “Bikinis were more fun when I had depth perception” he moaned and sank a little lower in his chair.

“Xander!” Willow laughed at him and shook her head. “Come on Giles, this is just for fun” she smiled reassuringly at him. “Besides my first question was what criteria you measure a woman on, it doesn’t have to be about Buffy or me”

Giles took a deep breath. “In that case” he started and relaxed further back into his chair. “Although the physical aspect plays a part, I usually become attracted to a woman because of her mind, her intellect” he shrugged and decided there might be light at the end of the tunnel after all.

“Yeah right” Xander muttered under his breath.

“You want to add something Xander?” Buffy asked sweetly.

“Well, I just think that’s a bit of a cop out” he shrugged. “I mean I bet when you were younger you weren’t hanging around libraries in your leather jacket, picking up women” he raised his eyebrow and looked sceptically towards Giles.

Giles laughed and toasted Xander with his beer. “You may have a point but I thought I was explaining how I would choose a woman for a longer term relationship, a one night stand is a completely different kettle of fish” he admitted.

“Giles!” Willow and Buffy both shouted at the same time before dissolving into giggles. “You never?” Willow finally asked and waited for him to admit he was teasing them. Buffy looked horrified and her eyes widened in shock as she waited for him to admit the liaison with her mother. He saw how she nervously looked towards him and shook his head slightly.

“Not in a long time” he admitted. “But you have to remember I spent my late teens in London during the sixties and seventies - it was a different world”

“Plus you had the band thing” Willow smiled. “And I remember how sexy the singing was” she admitted and winked at Giles.

“Willow!” Xander finally found his voice. “Please, I beg of you, no more discussions about Giles and sex”

“You started it” Giles pointed the neck of his bottle at Xander and grinned. “Besides, that is the end of the discussion about me” he turned to face the girls. “So Willow, how do you choose a woman?” he asked quietly and watched her blush.

“Wait a minute” she blustered and pushed herself up off the sofa. “We still haven’t finished with you” she headed towards the kitchen to get some more drinks for everyone. “So, did Olivia know you in London?” she asked and saw Buffy wince a little.

“You can’t get out of it Willow” he smirked at her. “You started the conversation on the subject of what criteria we would use to choose a woman and you’ve heard from Xander and me but you haven’t given us your insight” Giles stretched his legs out in front of him.

“He’s right Will”fy lfy laughed and looked curiously at her friend. “I mean Tara and Kennedy were pretty different types so what made them both Willow girls?”

“They weren’t” Willow shook her head and leaned against the kitchen counter. “Tara wasn’t a Willow girl” she smiled at the title. “I was a Tara girl” she shrugged at the simple distinction.

A silence descended over them for several minutes as they all remembered happier times. “So does that mean if another feisty, cute red head had come along with, say, better legs, Tara would have dumped you?” Xander asked and looked over his shoulder to see Willow’s reaction.

“She wasn’t into legs” Willow grinned and felt the blush rise to her face again. “And that is definitely enough of my sex life for tonight” she took a deep breath and pointed towards Xander warningly.

“So that just leaves you, Buffy” Giles turned towards the slayer who had settled comfortably across the sofa.

“I don’t have an opinion on choosing women one way or the other ” Buffy shrugged.

“I meant, what do you look for when you choose a man?” he said dryly.

“It’s certainly not a pulse” Xander quipped and sat back as she glared at him from the other end of the room. “What?” he asked indignantly and turned to Willow for her support.

“Mean and moody I can understand but where do Parker and Riley fit into that?” Willow asked and settled onto the arm of Xander’s chair.

“They don’t” Buffy shrugged. “Each one was very different from the others and I think I was just trying to find my type each time”

“So you think the next one will be an amalgamation?” Giles asked, aware that he really didn’t want to discuss Spike.

“Only if we come up against Frankenstein’s monster” Xander quipped and ducked the cushion Buffy threw at him.

“This started out as us teasing Giles about his love life, how come it ends up with me being laughed at?” she asked and looked towards Giles for an explanation.

“Probably an ancient prophecy” he suggested. “Perhaps we should give up on the discussion anyway, we obviously have no idea what we’re talking about if our recent track records are anything to go by”

“Good point” Xander agreed and they all sank into silence again to brood on the non existence of their various significant others. Ten minutes later he yawned. “I think I’m going to get some sleep” he said. “If we get up bright and early in the morning we could drive further down the coast?” he suggested and nodded at their agreement.

Buffy and Willow both stood up at the same time and tidied away the remnants of the snacks they had eaten earlier. “Are you going to bed?” Willow asked Giles softly.

“Not quite yet” he smiled at them both. “I think I’ll sit outside for a while before I turn in. Sleep well” he watched as they both headed for Buffy’s room and shook his head. They would probably spend the next hour in deep discussions about the turn the conversation had taken tonight. He walked out to the deck and sat on the bottom step for a few minutes to finish his beer.

Sighing deeply he decided a walk would probably help shake off the sadness that had descended over him. Heading for the harder packed sand nearer the ocean he walked towards the rocks at the end of the beach. The loneliness usually sat just underneath his awareness and he was used to it popping up from time to time when he least expected it. However, it had been several years since he had taken out the feelings and dusted them down to actively think about them. He missed Jenny and the place in his heart where she lived still ached whenever he remembered how short a time they had spent together. He smiled as memories of Olivia suddenly took centre stage, very different from the chaste memories of moments before. There wasn’t really anyone else he could imagine being that close to again and he sniffed a little as he realised that he had probably lost any chance of meeting anyone new when he had relocated to America again. The friendships he had begun in Bath had not been strong enough to survive his constant absence for months at a time and they certainly hadn’t been serious enough to cause any permanent moves for anyone else.

“So what brought that on?” Buffy asked Willow as she settled onto the end of the bed and watched Willow.

“I was just curious” Willow shrugged. “We never really had a chance to talk about adult stuff with Giles before and it seemed a good opportunity to ask some questions I’d always wanted to know the answers to” she turned to face Buffy. “Besides, I think you started it technically so what were you doing?”

“Sort of the same thing” Buffy shrugged and moved to sit back against the headboard. “I mean it kind of freaks me out that my early sex life was discussed and dissected in his Watcher diaries and even some of the stuff with Riley probably took up a chapter or two” she seemed to be deep in thought for a moment or two. “But Giles has been less of an older librarian type recently and when the girls were all swooning over him in the gym I kind of understood why, without the freakiness”

Willow nodded her understanding and they lapsed into silence for a moment or two. “Can I tell you something but you’ve got to promise not to tell anyone else, even Xander” Willow sat next to Buffy on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

“Of course” Buffy nodded. “Unless it’s business and then Giles would probably need to know” she shrugged.

“NO!” Willow practically jumped off the bed. “I promise it isn’t anything to do with business but Giles definitely can’t ever know” she grabbed Buffy’s arm in an attempt to demonstrate the seriousness of the situation.

“You’re freaking me out Will, just give and I promise I won’t tell” Buffy removed her grip and set her hands on top of Willow’s. “Just tell me, it can’t be that bad?”

“Oooohh, we’ll see if you still think so in a minute or two” Willow sighed and ran her hands through her hair. “This morning, when I got up, you and Xander were swimming and Giles was on the deck watching you” she began and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I was kind of half awake, half asleep and he was standing with his back to me” she took a deep breath. “Before I realised what was happening I was checking out the muscles in his legs and his butt” she screwed her eyes shut, unwilling to see the look of shock and disgust on her friend’s face.

“I know, I warned him about those shorts” Buffy laughed and watched as Willow seemed to relax a little. “Is that it, cause I’ve been training with Giles for years and I know how strong he is”

“I mean I was checking him out!” Willow whispered fiercely. “And I wasn’t thinking about his intellect or anything else, just his body” her hands covered her face as she felt herself blush again.

“But he’s Giles!” Buffy protested as she realised why her friend was so upset. “He’s a guy, with guy bits and pieces and everything” she pointed out, as if Willow hadn’t already thought of this.

“I know, I know” Willow moaned and started to rock back and forth a little. “I’ve spent all day trying to work out how I can be having these feelings for him and I’ve narrowed it down to a spell or a mental breakdown” she finally looked back up to see which of the options Buffy preferred.

“Giles wouldn’t do the love spell thing on anyone and I doubt that Xander would ever risk it again after the last time” Buffy pointed out helpfully. “So that just leaves your mental breakdown theory” she suggested.

Willow stood up and began pacing beside the bed. “OK, so how can I be having a mental breakdown that leaves me as a functioning adult in everything but this?” she asked and waved her arms around. “Oh and don’t forget the erotic daydreams” she threw her hands in the air in surrender. “I mean it’s bad enough to know you’re crazy but to be having X rated movies running through your head while playing Monopoly is taking it too far”

Buffy screwed her face up as if she had a bad taste in her mouth. “You’re doing the nasty with Giles in your head?” she asked and watched Willow nod miserably. “Eeuuuww, isn’t there some kind of spell you can do to get rid of them?” she asked and shook her head to clear her own mind of the very idea.

“Well not really, the only person I know who would be able to suggest anything isn’t really available” Willow shrugged.

“Giles?” Buffy asked and rolled her eyes when Willow nodded miserably again.

“Perhaps you need to talk to him about this, it’s probably something else entirely that’s just using Giles as a smokescreen to mess with your head” Buffy suggested hopefully.

“No, no, no, no, no, no” Willow shook her head. “There is no way on this earth that I’m telling Giles what he and I are up to in here” she pointed to her head and took a deep breath.

“Willow!” Buffy looked shocked and pulled her friend back down to sit next to her on the bed. “Is it really bad?” she asked sympathetically with just a hint of relish.

“Depends on your definition” Willow shrugged and rolled her neck to release some of the tension in her shoulders. “If my memory serves me correctly I think we are actually pretty good together” she managed a weak grin before starting to sniffle. “I mean how can I be having these thoughts about Giles, never mind that he’s a he?”

“Perhaps you’ve just been over stressed at work and this is you burning out?” Buffy threw her friend a lifeline. “You have been working non stop and then you had to work really closely with Giles a few weeks ago and so maybe?” she trailed off, watching Willow’s face to see if the theory made any sense.

“Plus you brought up the whole high school crush thing so that might be why he’s the one starring in my skin flicks” Willow nodded her head. “Sorry” she shrugged as Buffy pretended to stick her fingers down her throat and made gagging sounds.

“I think we should try to get through the rest of the weekend without freaking about this and then get the Doctor to give you a once over when we get back to the Council” Buffy ticked these two points off on her fingers. “Then we should plan a break away, just the two of us, to get you away from Giles for a few days to see if someone else takes his place in your head” Buffy grinned as she saw Willow relax a little. “Then we need to find you a girlfriend and remind you why you chose the non-stubbly gender”

Willow looked a little surprised then laughed softly. “Perhaps you’re right” she nodded. “It doesn’t seem so daunting now that I’ve told you” she admitted and hugged Buffy.

“OK” Buffy hugged her as well. “So, young lady, is there anyone at the Council, other than Giles, that sets your pulse racing?” Buffy looked serious and leaned across to pick up a notebook and pen. “Perhaps we should compile a list of your requirements and then we can start searching out some anti-Giles action for you”

“Buffy!” Willow giggled and then spent the next ten minutes denying any feelings of any kind for several of the young girls in Buffy’s class. “She definitely isn’t gay!” she protested eventually when Buffy was particularly keen on one particular candidate.

“How do you know, I don’t see any glowing signs or secret handshakes” Buffy pursed her lips.

“Danny has been going out with her for several weeks and he’s made it pretty clear that they don’t do jigsaws together” Willow shook her head at Buffy’s obvious disappointment. “Look, I think I can probably sort out the new girlfriend thing on my own” she put her hands out to stop Buffy’s list making. “Eventually” she stopped Buffy interrupting her. “But I need to sort out whatever else is going on at the moment so I’ll see the doctor when we get back and start to take things a little easier”

“And less Giles time?” Buffy grinned.

“You’re the one who got him all sweaty and on his back at the gym” Willow shrugged and headed for the door as Buffy picked up a pillow to throw at her.

*****

The next morning they all rose early for breakfast. “Do you want me to drive for a change?” Giles asked and caught the keys as Xander threw them at him.

“Thanks” Xander yawned and rubbed his hands across his face. “Eye strain’s a bitch when you’ve only got one” he smiled slightly and poured some more coffee.

“Do you want me to try some healing mojo?” Willow asked softly and put her hand on Xander’s arm as he sat down next to her at the table.

“Maybe later” he smiled at her. “So what’s the plan of action for today then?” he looked around at the others. When nobody answered he clapped his hands together and shook his head. “Just as well I’m on the ball” he grinned. “About thirty miles further down the coast is a water park and twenty miles further on is a museum of sailing ships”

“Sounds like Mr Smythe has taught you something about planning after all” Giles grinned and started to laugh as Xander mumbled some very uncomplimentary remarks under his breath. “So water park first then lunch then museum then dinner?” he suggested and saw smiles all round.

*****

“Perhaps you should have sat in front Willow” Giles sighed as Buffy turned the map upside down again. Willow giggled as he raised his eyebrows at her in the rear view mirror before Buffy glared at both of them and turned back to the map. “Xander did say it was only thirty miles away on the coast so we must have passed it already” Giles patiently pointed out.

“I think it was that last exit” Xander agreed quietly from behind Buffy and shrunk down next to Willow in case he was glared at as well.

“Fine” Buffy huffed and scrunched the map up into a ball before throwing it over her shoulder at Xander.

Willow bit her lip to stop the giggles that were struggling to escape and couldn’t look at Xander as he shook in the seat next to her. Giles just sighed and did an illegal u-turn.

*****

“As entertaining as the big dipper looks” Giles sighed as Buffy stood in front of him with her arms crossed. “I think I’ll just watch from the relative dryness of the coffee shop” he put his hand on her shoulder and turned her to face Xander and Willow as they raced each other up the stairs. “We’ll meet back here in an hour or so” She was about to make one of her famous quips before she stopped herself and shook her head. He watched as she walked off to join the others and wondered why she had suddenly changed her mind about the retort.

Once they were all involved in the water slides he found a secluded table in the coffee shop and used his mobile to contact Dawn. After half an hour he had sorted out a few queries and was waiting to be put through to one of the other watchers. “Ross?” he finally asked as his phone squeaked. “Sorry it’s a bit of a bad line, what can I do for you?” It took another twenty minutes to advise on the best plan of action to defeat a Bezoar parasite that had turned up at one of the other Watcher enclaves. He wracked his brain for the details of his previous meeting with this prehistoric menace and then tried to explain to Ross in language that wouldn’t have him forcibly ejected from a coffee shop in the middle of a fun park. Eventually he suggested Ross isolate the area and ask Dawn for copies of his watcher diaries for the relevant time period. They would discuss it further on his return to the office on Tuesday. He had just managed to put the phone away when the others arrived in the shop looking for him.

“I don’t think I can take any more water based fun” Willow sighed and sagged into a chair next to him. “Who knew that five year olds were so protective of their inner tubes?” she asked nobody in particular as she rubbed her ankle.

Buffy shrugged and waved to a waitress to take their order. “I warned you not to mess with a group of them but no, you were all ‘I’m a big bad witch I can cope with three small children’” she grinned towards Giles. “Did you miss us?”

“As if the sun had suddenly been removed from my world” he assured her solemnly and waited till they all placed their coffee orders. “I’m guessing that the return to childhood is starting to wear off?” he asked as Xander nudged Willow and pointed to another table. “Buffy?” he asked as he didn’t receive a reply.

“Huh?” she asked as she craned round to see what the others were looking at. “Sorry” she smiled at him. “Yeah, I think I’m about ready to do something suitably adult” she seemed to think about this for a moment before shrugging her shoulders apologetically. “You know what I mean”

“Sadly I think I do” he replied and noticed that the others were still distracted. “What is so interesting?” he asked and looked over Buffy’s shoulder to see what they were looking at. “Oh, I see” he grinned and nudged Willow. “At least Xander is consistent?”

“Not even close” she shook her head and smiled back at him. “I think I’m ready for some adult stuff too” she took a final sip of her coffee and stood up with Xander as two young women left the coffee shop. “We’ll catch up with you guys in a few minutes”

Giles looked towards Buffy. “Will she be alright?” he asked in concern.

“No bad guy vibes I could pick up and it is daylight” Buffy shrugged. “Besides, the blonde one was making eye contact with Willow every time we went near them” She looked at Giles and his concerned expression. “Giles, she is a big girl now and Xander is with her, I think she’ll be OK”

“Of course” he shrugged and wondered why he was so concerned. “I just have difficulty remembering you’re not all still sixteen years old sometimes” he stopped watching the others through the window and looked sheepishly towards Buffy. “At least we know what her type is now?” he smiled bravely and was rewarded with Buffy patting his arm.

“I know it’s difficult to cut the apron strings but you have to let us grow up eventually” she sat back to finish her coffee. “So how about planning for a proper break?” she suggested after a few minutes.

“I’m just not sure when I can get away for a longer period of time” he leaned back and glanced out of the window to check the others were still in sight. “Perhaps we could just schedule these weekend trips on a regular basis?” he suggested.

“It’s been fun but I don’t think you or Willow have really switched off” Buffy tapped his arm to get his attention back. “Don’t think I didn’t see you on your phone earlier, how is Dawn coping?”

“The building hasn’t burned down yet” he acknowledged. “But it wouldn’t make any difference if I was away for any longer, I’d just worry more” he told her. “But that doesn’t mean Willow, you and Xander can’t get away a w a week or two” he suggested.

“Perhaps” Buffy nodded, secretly pleased that he had agreed to her and Willow going without him. “Now can you finish your coffee quickly so that we can go and interrupt the love fest out there” she sighed dramatically.