All Hallows Eve

Thanks so much to everyone who has read and reviewed. Here's the next bit. Enjoy.

Pt. 5

Some people live in a world defined by right and wrong and black and white. Xander was one such person. He lived in a world defined by opposites, by good and evil. He was a white knight in that particular age-old battle between darkness and light and he was comfortable with that. There was no room in Xander’s world for ambiguity. He had never been comfortable with people crossing lines or with gray areas. Although he had gotten better, it was a problem that had always plagued him. Buffy, a slayer of evil things, should not have been involved with Angel, an inherently evil thing. In his devotion to that conviction, he had helped send Angel to hell. He had been even less accepting of the idea that Spike could ever be a force for the good. However, he had liked and perhaps even loved Anya as a former vengeance demon and he was perfectly comfortable with Willow’s life choices. He was a sensitive guy in that area, but that was as far into the gray as the black and white, right and wrong, Xander went. To consider the possibility that he and Spike, Spike the vampire, the Big Bad, the apparent warlock, were some sot of star-crossed lovers living out some kind of twisted destiny after four hundred years was entirely out of the realm of things that he could even comprehend, let alone begin to acknowledge.

The hard floor of the crypt and stiffness in his limbs was enough to let Xander know that he had come back to himself. He opened his eyes and met Spike’s worried look, glanced quickly away, and had to fight to suppress a rush of emotion. *Not William*, Xander thought to himself, but it did little good. The blue eyes were the same. The gaunt, hungry face was the same. The feeling that he had somehow disappointed the other man was, very much, the same.

Xander lurched upright to stand on numb feet. He stood for just a moment, looking down at Spike, before turning and running. He didn’t hear Spike call after him, “Dammit, Xander, no! You can’t break the circle!”

He was already gone, and only Spike and Robbie were left to see the silvery mist that swirled in the air for a second before drifting after him.

~*~*~

When Xander reached his apartment he was exhausted and shaking. There was nothing that he wanted more than to fall into bed and sleep for days. But he didn’t have days. Halloween was rapidly approaching and if he was going to live through it there were some nasty facts that he was going to have to face. Nevertheless, the minute that his head hit the pillow, he slept.

He did not dream, but when he awoke he had the feeling, stronger than ever, that there was a certain malevolence surrounding the apartment. He rubbed his arms beneath his blankets as if trying to brush away the oily feeling in the air.

“You feel it too, do you, mate?”

“Jesus, Spike! What are you doing?” Spike was sitting comfortably on the edge of the bed with a mug of blood in his hands.

He shrugged. “Just wanted to see how you were this morning. You left in a right hurry last night. Which, by the way, was not such a brilliant idea.”

Xander rolled onto his back. “Why not? I couldn’t stick around. I didn’t have anything to say.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Whether or not you had anything to say, I still had to close the circle that I’d opened to summon our friend. You broke that circle by leaving. I closed it all right after you left . . .” He trailed off looking pensive.

“So?”

“So, I think something got out before I finished.” Spike turned his attention back to his mug.

“Oh, you’re kidding. Like, what?” Xander’s voice was getting louder.

“ ‘Nother spirit I’d guess,” Spike said around the lip of his mug. “But that’s not the worst of it.”

“Of course not. Tell me, Fangless, hit me with it.”

“It went right after you.” Spike finally looked directly at him.

“Fuck.”

“Not right now, pet, we have work to do.” Spike gave a little smile and got up off the bed, smacking Xander’s thigh as he did.

Xander grabbed Spike’s hand. “How can you even joke about that?”

Spike looked puzzled. “Are you worried about *that*, Xander? ‘Cause I would think that you would be very concerned about dying about now, and that you might waste time worrying about your sexuality later.”

“Goddamn you, Spike. I’m perfectly comfortable with my heterosexuality. I just thought that-- well . . . that maybe we wouldn’t have to talk about all of this. Y‘know, just work on reversing that curse.”

Spike got wide-eyed. “And how, mate,” he leaned in close, near enough to kiss, “would you propose we do that? When this,” and he touched Xander’s cheek, “is what the curse is all about?”

Xander was mesmerized by the vampire’s proximity and the sultry tone of his voice. Oh, no. “I-I, Spike! Hey, personal space,” he managed to yelp out.

Spike backed off but the intense look on his face didn’t fade. “We were lovers a long time ago, boy, and for some reason it made me curse you to an agonizing death. You’re going to have to face that, if you want to live.” He walked out of the room.

Xander thought angrily to himself, *There might have been something between us in the past. It doesn’t mean there ever will be again.*

~*~*~

Avoiding the vampire wasn't easy, but Xander accomplished it for a good part of the day. He took a long shower, then snuck out to the Summers house to find Willow. He was going to take the plunge and ask her about the curse.

The witch sat with him on the living room couch and listened with astonishment as Xander told her an edited version of the story.

“My god, Xander. You mean to say that you and Spike knew each other sometime in the past and that Spike put some sort of curse on you that makes you die every Halloween?”

Xander nodded, relieved to get it off his chest; most of it anyway. “Yeah, that’s it in a nutshell.”

Willow sat thinking for a long minute before getting up and grabbing a large text. After flipping through the pages for a while she asked, “You don’t know exactly what the curse was or why Spike used it?”

“Uh, no.” *Probably wouldn’t tell you if I did.*

She nodded and flipped more pages before looking up at him with a very serious expression. “Xander, you know that I would do anything to help you, right?” Without waiting for him to respond she continued, “But I don’t think I can help you. I’m not very comfortable in my own magic right now, and I think that the curse on you is extraordinarily strong. Also, I doubt I could do anything, anyway, without knowing more about the curse itself.” She sighed. “You and Spike are going to have to work this out. You’re simply going to have to fulfil the conditions of the curse so it can be lifted; as soon as you find out what they are, that is.”

Willow left the room to a disheartened Xander. He had truly hoped to avoid having anything to do with Spike or their mutual past, now it seemed unavoidable.

“She’s right, you know.” For the second time that day the vampire had snuck up on him.

“Lurk much?” he snapped, getting up off of the couch.

“Expert at it. Perfected the art,” Spike smirked, blocking Xander’s way to the door. “But, I meant what I said about Red being right. We have to let Robbie take us back again. We have to see what happened if we’re going to save you.”

Xander shuffled his feet and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “You know, don’t you, that there is nothing in the world that I would rather do less?”

Spike was thoughtful, “Oh, I don’t think that you want to burn to death.” He moved suddenly to grip Xander’s shoulders and planted a soft kiss on the brunette’s surprised mouth. “And I don’t think that you wanted me to do that.” Spike waited but Xander gave no response beyond a blank stare. “See? There are worse things.”

Xander’s only thought was, *It wasn’t that bad. The kiss. Kissing Spike.*

TBC