Once and Again

Chapter Nine: Inner Demons (pt. 2)

"Ravyn don't do this again." Spike said as he gently shook her. "Wake up Ravyn."

Spike sighed and pulled her close to him, stroking her hair with his hand. "Please don't leave me again." he whispered to her.

He rocked her back and forth as he replayed everything that had just happened over in his mind. She was fine until he touched her. Intimate contact was what set it off.

He clinched his eyes shut tightly, knowing the only reason she would have reacted that way.

But what had he really expected? Did he honestly believe Trull would have had her for thirty-two years and NOT have 'had' her? And how many other's had? He knew for a fact, vampires...especially those in a clan shared everything...even their women.

His fear for her melted away as a hot raging anger slowly took it's place. He could only imagine the torture and abuse she had lived through....all because of 'that' man.

Ripping him limb from limb was to easy a death for him. He needed to suffer as much as she had. And he would. He would die slowly and in more pain than he had ever inflicted on another. If it took an eternity to accomplish that, he would gladly see it done. Trull would pay dearly for what he had put her through.

Spike turned slightly and picked Ravyn up, moving her to the center of the bed before removing his duster and boots. He climbed in bed with her and held her tightly, wrapping the sheet back around her.

He laid there looking at her, running his hand over her cheek as she continued to stare off into space. He closed his eyes, wondering if he'd be able to 'wake' her this time.

She was finally starting to act a little like 'herself' again...now what? Her fears and reminder's of her tortured life would probably haunt her for the rest of her existence, and 'that' was a demon Spike couldn't fight.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dawn walked sleepily down the steps into the lobby, yawning as she did. It was almost lunch time and she couldn't believe she had slept that long.

"Bout time you woke up." Jesse said to her smiling as she sat down heavily on the sofa.

Dawn smiled back at him and rubbed her face, trying to wake up. "Sorry...anything exciting happen while I was out?"

"Nope...just breakfast."

"So, where is everyone."

"Blake's fixing lunch, Angel's still sleeping and Rob's combing through some old musty books. Why?"

"Oh..no reason. I think I'm gonna run home and shower." she said as she stood. "If Angel wakes before I get back, tell him I'll be here as soon as I can."

"Sure thing." Jesse said as he watched her leave.

Jesse stood and walked to Rob's office, knocking before he entered.

"Hey man..find anything yet?"

Rob looked up at him and smiled. "I think I may have." he said as he picked up another book. "Hang on a second."

Rob flipped through the other book and smiled big. "Gottcha" he said as he studied the page before him. "Well Jesse...meet Mr. Nicholas Trull" he said, handing the book over to him.

Jesse took the book and studied the picture. "Mean looking ole cuss, aint he?"

"That he is." Rob said as he sat back in his chair. "His profile is scarier than his appearance."

Jesse ran through Trull's profile, eyes widening as he read the forms of torture Trull preferred. "No wonder that girl's scarred shitless of him. Wonder how many of these he's used on her?"

"I'd venture to say all of them...with the exception of the eye thing, seeing how she still has both of her's."

Jesse shook his head. "We can't let him get her back. How she survived this long is beyond me."

"She did it locklocking everything out. Can't really say that I blame her. I'm just glad she managed to come out of it. Shame seeing a pretty girl like that with such a tortured mind as well as body."

"Yeah" Jesse said quietly as he handed the book back to Rob. "Maybe she can finally find some peace."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dawn parked her car infront of the hotel, finally fresh and awake. Stepping out, she unlocked the truck, pulling her purse and another change of clothes out before shutting the door.

As she rounded the side of the car, she stopped and turned back as something in the alley caught her eye.

She smiled big as she saw Spike's motorcycle sitting there. "Yes" she said grinning wildly, knowing he had spent the night with Ravyn. *about time* she thought to herself as she walked towards the hotel.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"So, this is him?" Blake asked as he and Angel looked at Trull's profile.

"Yeah, that's him. Study his face. We can't afford not knowing who he is." Rob told them.

"Knowing who.. who is?" Dawn asked as she entered the lobby.

"Trull" everyone said together before looking at each other smiling.

Dawn walked over to the desk, looking down at the book they were all looking at. "Is that him?"

"Yeah, that's him."

"Huh....not really bad looking" Dawn said, unaware of the strange looks everyone was giving her.

"Dawn, you ever see him, you run, you hear me?" Angel said taking a hold of her arm.

Dawn looked up at him and could see the fear on his face. "Yeah" she said quietly.

"I mean it...he's dangerous."

Dawn shook her head and glanced back down, reading the profile that accompanied the picture, Her eyes widened as she read. "Oh my god" she whispered. "How did Ravyn survive living with him?"

"I don't know." Angel said quietly.

"Well at least she won't have to go through that anymore." she said more to herself than to the others.

"We hope." Jesse told her. "Hate to think what he'd do if he ever caught her again."

"Well, it's up to us to see that he don't." Angel said walking away from the desk. Is she awake yet?" he asked, looking back over at the other's.

"Haven't seen her." Blake told him.

Dawn grinned big. "Yeah, and you probably won't for a while."

"What do you mean?" Angel asked her curious at her tone of voice and her silly grin.

"Spike's motorcycle is still outside. He spent the night." she said happily.

Angel just looked at her for a minute before turning, walking into his office and slamming the door behind him.

"What's up with him?" Dawn asked as she stared at Angel's office door.

"Um...hello....anyone?" she asked when no one made a move to answer her.

"I've got some..umm, things to take care of." Rob said as he turned, ready to leave.

"Oh no you don't." Dawn said quickly, walking over to him, grabbing his arm. "Now what's going on?"

Rob turned to look at her and looked to Jesse and Blake.

"Don't look at me man...she's asking you." Blake said holding his hands in front of him.

"Jeez...come off it already, what's the deal?" Dawn asked irritated as no one would answer.

"For cripes sake." Jesse said looking at the other's. "Angel's got the hots for Ravyn." he told her.

Dawn's eyes went a little wide at first then she relaxed. She had seen this coming. Why was she surprisedow dow do you know? He tell you?" she asked them.

"No, didn't need to. You'd have to be blind 'not' to see it." Jesse told her.

Dawn looked hard at him. "Does Spike know this?"

Jesse chuckled a little. "Oh yeah..he knows. Those two already got into it the other night."

"Is that what happened to Angel's face? Did they get into a fight?"

"Well, not sure if I would call it a fight exactly. More like lot's of yelling and one good punch. Spike stalked up the stairs, and Angel went to his office holding his nose."

Dawn squinted her eyes a little as she looked at Jesse. The other two, quiet as church mice. "Well, he'll just have to get over it. She belongs to Spike." she said as she turned, sitting down at her desk.

The guy's looked at her for a minute before looking at each other with questioning glances before turning, each going their own separate ways.

Dawn watched them leave before looking towards the stairs. *Spike deserves to be happy and nothing's going to stand in the way of that...not even Angel* she thought, determined to see that her best friend enjoys the rest of his existence, being loved the way she knew he deserved.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike stirred from his sleep when he felt Ravyn move. He opened his eyes and lifted his head and looked at her. He couldn't tell if she was still asleep or not and was scared to see if she was still going to be 'out of it' when she opened her eyes.

Lifting his hand, he pushed her hair back and watched her. She moved her head a little and scooted closer to him, both her arms held tightly in front of her, close to her chest.

Her head was still propped up on his arm and he lightly rubbed her back with his hand as he held her.

Ravyn felt him as he played with her hair. She knew it was him. She didn't even need to open her eyes. She would know that smell anywhere.

When she remembered 'why' he was there, she was instantly scared. He would know. He would know why she had reacted like that. Would he still want her? Would he still want her if he knew she was a vampire clans whore. Something they used to pass the time with and relieve their tension with almost everyday for the past thirty-two years.

She felt the tears start just thinking of how he was going to react. She was tainted and dirty, trash other men played with for their own amusement.

"Spike" she whispered softly. The longer she waited, the harder it would be.

Spike looked down at her when she spoke. Her eyes were still closed and he could see a tear in the corner of her closed eyelids.

Squeezing her closer to him, he kissed her forehead. "I'm here luv."

"I'm so sorry Spike...I didn't...." she started saying before the dam of emotions broke inside her. She cried unable to stop.

Spike wrapped his other arm around her, holding her tight as she cried. He had no idea what she had actually went through and wasn't even sure he wanted to.

"Shhh...don't cry." he whispered to her as her cries became harder. Just hearing her was breaking his heart and he was soon crying right along with her.

She was sobbing uncontrollable, losing her breath as she did. She had a firm grip on the front of his shirt, burring her head in his chest and all he could do was hold her and let her know he was there for her.

Never in his existence had he heard anything so painful. It was as if someone was ripping a part of her out, leaving nothing behind in it's place.

They both lay there, holding on tightly to each other, for completely different reason , neither one wanting to let go. Spike kissed her head as she slowly stopped crying, only small whimpers heard now.

Finally letting go of Spike's shirt Ravyn wiped her face.

"You okay?" he asked, knowing she wasn't.

"For now" she replied, pulling her head back and glancing up at him briefly. The look on his face was almost to much to bear. His eyes were red, obviously from crying. He looked at her with concern, shock, worry and the most painful...pity.

"I'm gonna go shower." she told him before rolling over, draping the sheet around her as she did.

Spike watched her stand and walk slowly to the bathroom, never looking back as she shut the door behind her. He sighed heavily and rolled over on his back when he heard the water. How could he 'ever' make this better?

Sitting up, he stood and ran a hand through his hair before heading downstairs. Dawn was the only one he saw.

"Hey Spike" she said happily as she saw him.

"Hey bit." Spike said quietly, a sad smile on his face as he passed her, heading for the kitchen.

Dawn knew the look on his face wasn't one of a man who had just spent the entire night in bed with that someone special. Something was up.

Rising from her chair, she walked into the kitchen, intent on finding out what was wrong.

"What's wrong?" she asked him after closing the door.

He was standing at the microwave watching a mug as it spun slowly on the turntable. He never answered her question and she knew whatever it was, it was serious. A 'quiet' Spike was a 'worried' Spike.

Removing the mug he drained it quickly before heading to the sink. He still hadn't turned to look at her.

"Spike...come on, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

Spike sighed heavily before turning to face her, leaning on the counter when he did.

Dawn walked over to where he was. "What happened?" she asked giving him her best 'concerned friend' look.

"She needs help Dawn."

"Help?...What kind of help?"

Spike ran a hand over his face before looking back at her. "For what they did to her."

Dawn just stared at him. He looked like he wanted to tell her, but scared to say it at the same time.

"What did they do Spike?" Dawn asked him softly. "I can't help her if I don't know what's wrong."

"They....." Spike closed his eyes. If he said it...it made it real. Her being raped wasn't the part he was having trouble with. It was the fact that Trull had taken her in the first place. If she hadn't been trying to protect 'him' none of this would have happened.

Opening his eyes back up, he smiled at her before grabbing another mug, filling and heating it as Dawn watched him.

"Better get this up to her...."

"Spike?"

"Not now Dawn" he said quietly as he turned and headed back out of the kitchen.

Dawn watched him leave and wondered what had him so 'freaked'. She thought he would have been happy. If he spent the whole night and day with Ravyn, why would he be so down about it?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike walked back into Ravyn's room and found her sitting on the bed. She was sitting on the other side, her back facing him. She was dressed and had her arms folded over her chest tightly.

"Hey....hungry?" he asked her as he sat down beside her.

"Not really." she told him softly.

"Well, eat anyway." he told her, handing her the mug.

Ravyn held the mug tightly in her hands and stared down at it. "It's warm."

"Yeah, it's suppose to be." he said looking at her. She was just staring at the cup.

Ravyn glanced up at him briefly before looking back down. He was staring at her and she wondered what he was thinking. "Why are you still here?" she asked him quietly.

Spike couldn't believe she had asked that. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Ravyn shrugged her shoulder a little before answering him. "Doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened last night. Just didn't think....."

"Think what, that I wouldn't want you anymore?" Spike raised his hand and held her hair away from her face. "It's not your fault."

She looked back up at him. He smiled at her as he continued to stroke her hair. "It took me thirty years to get you back, don't think I'm gonna let you go now do ya?"

Ravyn looked back down as a single tear fell. "You still....want me, even after...." she asked him shyly.

"Always." he told her as he pulled her head gently, laying it on his shoulder and giving it a quick kiss. "Now eat that before it gets cold."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Randall sat in the shadows across the street. He hadn't seen Ravyn since the night he had followed them from the bar. He knew he should report to Trull, but he had said not to return without her. He wasn't about to risk his own life just to tell him where she was. And they needed to know if the medallion was there...and if it was..where?

Walking across the street, he checked all the vehicles parked around the hotel, taking note of what kind and making a mental note to see if all the cars stayed all the time or if they left and returned the next day. If they moved Ravyn, he'd need to know where.

The only thing to do now.....find that medallion and get Trull's 'pet' back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike stood up and took the now empty mug from Ravyn. "Go put something loose on and meet me in the basement." he told her walking towards the door.

"What for?"

"It's time to get you back in shape."

"What's wrong with my shape?" Ravyn asked, looking confused as she looked down at herself.

Spike gave her that sexy little smirk she loved as he looked at her. "Nothing from what I can see." he said, raising an eyebrow at her, "I'm talking about your fighting. Need to get you back in ass kickin gear."

Ravyn grinned at him as he opened the door and left. She sat there a few minutes before heading for the dresser and grabbing some 'comfortable' clothes and changing. Pulling her hair up into a ponytail, she headed downstairs.

"Hey Ravyn." Dawn said smiling as she sat at her desk, the rest of the gang lounging around talking.

"Hey." she said as she walked over to her.

They guy's just looked at her, all with a few 'thought's' running through their minds before they also gave a little hello.

She smiled and said her hello's, except for Angel, he left shortly after she entered the room.

"Which way to the basement?"

"Oh, down the hall, third door on the right." Dawn said, "You sparring with Spike?"

"Yeah, or so he seems to think so. Probably gonna be more like me getting beat into the ground."

Dawn chuckled at her. "Naw...he'll go easy on ya, until you start getting the best of him."

"Not likely to happen soon." Ravyn told her smiling as she headed for the hall.

Ravyn walked down the basement steps and found Spike, barefoot, sitting on a bench waiting for her.

"Bout bloody time" he said as she stepped off the bottom step and walked towards her. He gave her a long look before shaking his head.

"What?" she asked when he just stared at her.

"How the hell am I suppose to concentrate with you dressed like that?"

Ravyn looked down and couldn't figure out what he meantou sou said comfortable...."

"Yeah, but you didn't have like, sweats or thinthin'?"

"No, this is what I have."

Spike looked her over and knew he'd have a hard time keeping his mind from wandering. Her light blue shorts hung low on her hips and a small white tank top was short, exposing her midriff and clung tightly to her full round breast.

Grinning and shaking his head he focused his attention back on her face. "All right, but if my mind wanders...it's your fault." he said smiling as he walked up to her.

"Your mind always wanders." she said smiling back at him.

"Can't help it, one track mind." he said before giving her a quick kiss. "Alright, now hit me."

Ravyn giggled at him as she stared at him. "Spike, I really don't want to fight you."

"Yes you do, now come on, hit me."

"No, we can train without me hitting you."

Spike sighed and put his hands on his hips. "I need to know how hard you can hit....now stop your bloody complaining and hit me already." he said a little more loudly than he wanted to.

Ravyn shrugged her shoulder at him and drew back, hitting him square on the jaw. His head turned to the side slightly and he looked back over at her.

"Okay" he said looking at her smiling. "You hit like a girl, need to work on that."

"I do not!"

Spike laughed. "Yes you do." he told her as he himself threw a punch, catching her cheek, knocking her down.

He looked at her as she sat on all fours, not moving. "You okay." he asked her, wincing a little, he hadn't meant to hit her that hard.

He wasn't fast enough to see her leg shoot out, catching him across the ankles, tripping him..sending him to the floor.

Ravyn stood and looked at him as he lay there on his back, staring up at her. "You okay?" she asked him sweetly, smiling slyly as she did.

Spike gave her his trademark smirk before jumping quickly to his feet. "Come on girl, show me what you've got." he said as he started circling her.

Spike held back, knowing she wasn't up to full strength, but was quickly wondering if it were even necessary. She was still pretty good at blocking and dodging, and her technique was still good, but her speed was a little off as was her balance and strength.

"I know you can hit harder than that." he said as she threw another punch, barely even stinging.

"I haven't hit anything in thirty years Spike...what do you expect?" she said, blocking his punch.

"I expect you to try harder."

Ravyn rolled her eyes and she continued to dodge as many of his blows as she could, throwing her own as she did. She was getting tired and it was showing. She was moving slower than she had been and Spike could tell.

"Alright.." he said as he stood straight up. "That's enough"

"Good" Ravyn said as he flopped down on the mat.

Spike grinned at her. "Another week of this and FOUR meals a day, you might be worth something." he said grinning as he sat down beside her.

"Four?"

"Yes....you eat less than a baby does. Can't build your strength up eatin' once a day."

Ravyn leaned back, supporting her weight on her hands and looked over at him. "Why does it even matter?"

Spike looked at her when she spoke. "Because, you need to be able to defend yourself if you need to."

Looking down at her feet Ravyn sighed. "Defending myself won't matter if he catches me."

"Why?"

"Because he'll have me chained back up before I can blink."

"He kept you chained?" Spike asked her quietly, not believing what he was hearing.

Ravyn didn't answer him right away, just kept looking at her feet. She finally looked over at him and answered. "He had my chip removed when my headaches got worse. And when I wouldn't feed off the human's he had brought in for me, he chained me up. Said if I wanted to live like a caged animal I might as well look the part."

Spike slid over closer to her turning her head to look at him. "He won't get you again, not if I can help it....but, you need to be able to fight back."

She knew he was right, but she was hardly able to even look at Trull, let along fight him.

"You can't be scared of him, that's what he wants. You fight him, if he's gonna chain you up, then give him a damn good reason to." he said smiling at her.

Ravyn smiled back at him. She knew he was right, but getting over her fear of Trull would be harder than learning how to fight again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike and Ravyn had been training every minute they could for the past three weeks. No one saw them, other than when they walked through the lobby, heading downstairs.

Ravyn was back in top form, and Spike was loving every minute of it. He loved fighting her. She was fast, strong and slowly becoming that dangerous creature he had met in Sunnydale, the one who caught his attention and constantly amazed him.

Dawn looked up when she heard the crash and shook her head. She didn't know what they were doing but it sounded like they were tearing the place down.

"Man, what are they doing down there?" Jesse asked as he walked down the steps heading for the lounge.

"I just asked myself that same question." Dawn said grinning.

Rob and Blake were on the sofa, and looked up when Jesse came over.

"Wonder who's taking the worst of it?" Blake asked grinning.

"Probably Spike...surly he wouldn't hit her that hard." Rob said, looking at them.

"Yes he would." Dawn told them. "You should have seen him and Buffy go at it. They looked like they were killing each other."

"Be almost worth paying to see Spike get bested by a woman...wouldn't it?" Blake said grinning.

Everyone looked at each other before grinning wildly and running for the basement door. Once it was open, they snuck down quietly and sat on the steps to watch what all the noise was they had been hearing the past few weeks.

Ravyn landed a hard kick to Spike's chest, sending him flying backwards, landing hard, only to have him jump straight up, rushing her.

The hits were fast and hard and they were both bleeding on some part of their body.

"Had enough?" Ravyn asked grinning as she ducked Spike's punch and threw her own, catching him in the gut.

"Not hardly" Spike told her, kicking out, tripping her.

Ravyn righted herself quickly, and jumped, tackling him to the ground. Spike threw her off over his head, Ravyn rolling as she landed, standing quickly.

They both stood, facing one another, slowly circling each other, unaware they had an audience. They were both smiling, loving the adrenaline rush of the fighting.

"You ready to get a good ole fashioned ass whoppin'?" Ravyn asked smiling.

"You ready to give me one?" Spike asked her, grinning.

"I've been holding back on you long enough...GRANDPA!"

Spike growled, his grin growing bigger at hearing her call him Grandpa again. That was 'his' Ravyn talking. That was the girl he had been waiting for, the one he knew was there, just hiding under a scared shell.

"Come on girl....show me what ya got."

Ravyn rushed him, punching him hard, her fist catching his jaw. As his head snapped back, Ravyn kicked out, landing a hard hit to the chest, sending him flying backwards into a stack of shipping crates. He crashed, shattering one of the crates into pieces.

"Oh, that had to hurt." Blake said smiling as they watched from the sidelines and saw Spike fly through the air.

"Spike!" Ravyn yelled as the boards flew. She ran over to him, eyes wide as she reached him.

"Bloody hell woman...what ya trying to do kill me?" he asked as he lay face down in a pile of splintery wood.

Ravyn knelt down, checking him over. "Are you okay?" she asked him frantic.

"Yeah...." he said as he sat up on his knees. He grabbed his chest and looked down at all the broken pieces of wood before looking back up at her. "And just where the hell did that come from?" he asked her, not believing she had just kicked him half way across the room.

Ravyn giggled was she saw he was okay. "Told ya I was holding back."

Spike grinned as he looked at her. "Well, keep holdin' back then." he told her as he stood.

Ravyn grabbed him, kissing him hard as he stood. "Sorry, keep forgetting how old and fragile you are."

"You're not funny." Spike said pinching her bottom as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Wasn't trying to be. Just staten the obvious."

Spike wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned down, kissing her hard. The 'observer's' on the steps grinned as they watched them.

Jesse cleared his throat loudly, as the other's laughed and giggled. Spike and Ravyn broke their kiss and turned, looking at the intruder's.

"What the hell are you doin'?" Spike asked them, pissed they disrupted his 'break'.

"Just watching the show man." Blake said laughing.

"Yeah, well...show's over, go away." Spike told him, still holding onto Ravyn.

"Ah come on Spike...I was just beginning to enjoy seeing you get your ass whipped by a girl." Blake said.

"Yeah, come on....let Ravyn train..she needs it, remember?" Jesse said, laughing at the face Spike was making.

Spike looked down at Ravyn and smiled. "Well luv, seems the boy's their want you to put on a show for 'em....up for it?"

Ravyn grinned over at them. "Yeah, been a while since I've taken on a whole pack."

Rob's eyes went wide. "What?"

"You want to see her fight...then you'll be the one's fighting her." Spike told them.

"You want us to fight her?" Blake asked him.

"Yep...all of you."

Blake smiled big. "Your on." he said as he stood and walked the rest of the way down the steps.

Spike shook his head. "Uh uh...ALL of you."

Jesse and Rob looked at each other before looking back at Spike.

"As in all three of us...together?" Rob asked him.

"That's exactly what I mean." Spike told him as he and Ravyn walked to the center of the room.

"If you're sure?" Jesse said, standing.

Ravyn grinned at them as they all walked to the mat. "I'll try not to hurt ya to bad...okay?"

Blake grinned big. "Give us your best shot."

Spike walked to the steps and sat with Dawn. Watching her fight was as good and fighting her. Only problem was....they were human, and although they were use to fighting vampires....Ravyn wasn't use to fighting them. The fight last a record four minutes and twenty-six seconds. Spike was disappointed to say the least. He was just getting into it and now....it was over.

Ravyn stood in the middle of the room, looking down at the three humans, holding some painful part of their body. "Ummm...You guy's alright?" she asked them, wondering if she should have held back more.

"Yes" Rob said, his voice a strained whisper as he lay there clutching his stomach.

Spike grinned at the scene. He was definitely gonna have to find her more 'challenging' opponents.

"Well, that good enough of a show for you boy's?" Spike asked as he stood, walking over to where Ravyn was standing.

Blake stood slowly. "Yeah man...that's fine."

Rob and Jesse stood, both shaky on their legs.

"Think I'll be going now..." Jesse told them as he headed for the steps, both arms folded over his stomach. "I think she broke my pancreas." he groaned as the other's laughed.

Ravyn giggled as he limped up the steps. "Sorry" she yelled out to them.

Dawn giggled as they filed up the steps, groaning a little as they did. "That had to be the best fight I've seen. Watching those three get whipped by a girl....I'll get weeks of jokes out of that one." she said as she stood and headed up the stairs.

Ravyn giggled as she watched Dawn leave and turned to Spike. "Well, do I pass now?" she asked him, walking over to him.

Spike grinned down at her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Yeah, I guess you pass now."

"So....does that mean I get to go kill stuff?"

"NO!"

Ravyn pouted at him. "But why not?"

"Because it's to dangerous for you to be out there, learkin around, that's why." he said hugging her to him.

"But I bought leather...." she whined.

Spike raised an eyebrow at her and grinned. "You did?"

"Yeah, haven't even got to wear it yet."

"Well....what's say we go on up and you can wear it for me." Spike said, kissing her.

Ravyn pulled away from him as his lips played gently with hers. "No"

"But why not?" he asked, pouting now.

Ravyn giggled at him. "Because"

Spike leaned his head down, kissing at her neck. "What color is it?"

"What color is what?"

"The leather?"

"Red, black...and white" she said as she closed her eyes and held his head closer to her.

Spike kissed along her neck, up to her ear, nibbling on it when he reached it.

"What are you doing?"

"Kissing you."

"I guessed that much." she said as he ran his hands up her back, kissing a trail back up her throat.

Spike pulled back away from her. "Want me to stop?"

"I wanna stop making out in this stinky ole basement." she said grinning at him. "I've got a private room upstairs."

Spike smiled as he looked at her. Three weeks ago she was scared to let him touch her, now....lots of touching went on. Still no sex, but he'd take what ever she was willing to give him. If it took her months to trust him enough to be with her, he'd wait....she was worth it.

______________________________________

Chapter Ten: Old Flame/New Fire

Ravyn walked down the steps into the lobby and looked around before heading into the kitchen. She knew Dawn was there somewhere and she really needed someone to talk to.

Dawn smiled her usual friendly smile when Ravyn entered the kitchen. "Hey, thought you were going to lay in bed all night." she said as she finished up her supper.

Ravyn smiled back at her as she sat down. "Could have. All this training has every part of my body screaming."

"Well you have to remember you you're fighting. Spike likes to fight as much as he like to..." Dawn giggled as she stopped talking, "uh, or so I've been told."

Ravyn laughed along with Dawn. She knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Speaking of, where's he at...he usually here by now." Dawn asked her.

"Not sure. He has his phone off the hook again, or I'm assuminit'sit's been busy. Don't know of anyone else he'd be talking to."

"Me either." Dawn said grinning. "He can't stop talking about you long enough to pay any mind to anyone else."

Ravyn smiled at that. She had noticed. She wasn't sure what his true feeliwerewere, but something was definitely different now. It was all she could do not to sit around with a smile on her face twenty-four seven just thinking about the way he was so attentive towards her now. If he wasn't there, he was on the phone with her and she loved every minute of it. She was getting more 'mushies' from him than she ever imagined.

"So, what's up....you're awfully quiet." Dawn said as Ravyn just sat there not talking.

"Well, I was wondering.....if um,...well, I wanted to see if I could talk to you about something." Ravyn asked her softly. "Something personal."

"Well yeah....anything." Dawn told her smiling. "I haven't had a good girl talk in forever."

Ravyn smiled back at her. "Let's go upstairs...don't need anyone else hearing this." Ravyn said as she stood and started for the kitchen door.

Dawn's smile fell away. The look on Ravyn's face wasn't the 'normal' girl chat look. Whatever it was she wanted to talk about was serious.

Dawn followed Ravyn up to her room and sat down at the foot of the bed as Ravyn leaned up against the headboard. She watched her for a while, noticing she was having a hard time looking at her or even talking.

"Well, the suspense is killing me...what's up?"

Ravyn gave her another weak smile and took a deep breath. "You have to promise what I tell you...."

"I won't." Dawn told her. "Whatever it is, won't leave this room. I promise."

Ravyn was relieved and pushed her hair back. "Okay....it's....well, it's about sex."

That definitely wasn't what Dawn was expecting. "Ok." she asked, trying not to sound surprised.

Ravyn smiled a little and looked down. "Yeah well, I know it's strange talking to a vampire about sex but....I've," Ravyn sighed. This was alot harder than she thought it would be. Looking back up at Dawn she braced herself. "I can't" she told her quietly.

Dawn was confused. "What do you mean...you can't? You can't what?"

"Have sex. I mean I can....it's just..."

Dawn's mind instantly went back to the night Spike had stayed over and his mood. She knew something was up then and know she thought she knew why. Spike said 'she needed help, because of what they had done to her'.

"Oh....did they....you know, hurt you?"

Ravyn just shook her head 'yes'. She was having trouble looking up. Telling anyone about this wasn't something she thought she'd ever do.

"You know, I may not be able to fix it for you, but I can listen. Sometimes it just helps to talk about." she told her smiling.

Ravyn finally looked up. If she wanted to get over this fear, then she was going to have to tell someone what happened. She couldn't continue getting Spike all worked up for nothing forever, no matter how much he said he didn't mind. Smiling back at Dawn she took a deep breath. "Okay..well...."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Randall was standing outside the hotel, peeking in all the windows he could see in to. He had seen Ravyn and another girl go up the stairs earlier and smiled thinking why just bring back one, when they could have two. The more the merrier.

Trull was cruel when he wanted to be, but he was also very generous...especially when he was pleased and his favorite reward.....'quality time' with his favorite pet.

Stepping to the next window, he could barely see through a small crack in the blinds.

There was a man at the desk, reading a book. He watched him for a while and was about to turn away when the man looked up and smiled. Someone else had entered the room.

"Hey Angel..." Rob said as he entered his office. "I'm through with this for now." he told him as he handed Angel the medallion.

Angel reached out, taking the medallion from him. "Okay...I'll put it away." he said before Rob turned and left.

Randall's eyes lit up when he saw the medallion. That's what he had been waiting for. He watched as Angel stood from the desk and walked to a small bookshelf, sliding it from the wall. He bent down for a few minutes then stood, pushing the small shelf back against the wall.

Randall smiled when he saw the man no longer held the medallion. *Thank You* he said to himself. *Now let's go find a few good men and get that medallion and the lovely Ravyn.*

Randall walked happily down the street. All he had to do was wait for the perfect opportunity to go in there. He knew from watching the place over the past several weeks that everyone lived there except for the girl and Ravyn's vampire Spike.

He had followed the girl home and knew if for some reason Ravyn were there, it would be no problem retrieving her.

The vampire....now that was different. He never was able to keep up with him after he left. He would always lose him, Spike's bike was much faster than the car's he always hot wired to follow him in.

If the men left the hotel long enough for them to make their move, it wouldn't really matter anyway. The girl was human and Ravyn was scared of anything that moved. Wouldn't be no problem at all taking those two....no problem at all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike dressed quickly, throwing on a pair of blue jeans and a T-shirt. He had over slept and now, he had less time to spend with Ravyn than he normally did.

Staying the night with her was always an option, but the temptation of being that close to her was to much. The lengthy 'make out' sessions were great, but even that was getting to be to much to handle.

He wanted her so bad he could hardly even look at her and not think about it. She was like a drug and he was slowly becoming addicted to her.

What they had now was so different from what they had the first time, it was almost like he was seeing someone completely different.

He had had a hard time accepting the fact that what he felt for her thirty years ago wasn't 'real'. Yes he did love her then, but he knew now that he was never 'in love' with her, just like she had told him.

He knew, because it was different now. What he felt for her this time was new. She was all he thought about. Day and Night. He missed her when she wasn't there and couldn't take his eyes off of her when she was. She consumed his thoughts every minute of the day.

She was beautiful and compassionate, strong and fragile. She had a zest for life he had never seen in another vampire. She was witty and fun and most importantly....she was in love with him.

Spike smiled as he thought of her. He shut his door and rounded the house and walked to his garden. His smile got bigger when he saw the purple rose bush had produced another bloom. Those were her favorite.

There hadn't been but a few days since the first rose he had given her that he hadn't brought her one. She loved them and the sappy poetry. Especially the ones he wrote. He never told her 'he' had actually written them himself, but she always seemed to like those the best. They were simple and most of the time short, just expressing how he felt about her, but those were the ones that always made her cry.

Cutting the rose from the bush, he walked to his bike, placing the rose inside the satchel along with another poem...well if you wanted to call it that. It was just a three-word statement. One he knew deep down, that this time.......he meant it.

Starting the engine on his bike, he backed up and started for the road, off to see the girl he had fallen in love with.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dawn and Ravyn had talked for hours. They knew almost as much about each other as they did themselves. They laughed and cried and told of their darkest fears and their brightest dreams.

They connected in a way neither had done in a long time. It was nice to finally have a friend.

Dawn shared her life and her happy marriage and how someday, she hoped to find someone she could love again.

The thing that surprised Dawn the most about Ravyn...was being dead for fifty-two years, she still carried all her childhood dreams with her. She regretted not being able to see them through. She had more human qualities than any other vampire Dawn had ever seen, with the exception of Angel and Spike.

Having a soul would surly change the action's of a vampire, as would 'playing house' with humans as Spike had for over twenty years. So that made Ravyn different from all the rest. She had neither of these things, so why was she so different? What gave her the capacity to Love and Care for other's, and still long for things that would never be?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rob, Jesse and Blake were in the lounge discussing plans for Brazil. Angel was still dead set against it. They weren't sure if they would ever be able to convince him they needed to go.

They all looked up as Spike entered and headed for the stairs.

"Spike....we need to talk to you." Rob said quickly as they saw him, knowing once he went up, he wouldn't be back down until he left.

"Can it wait?" Spike asked them from the top step.

"No, I'm afraid not."

Spike rolled his eyes and turned, walking back down and to the lounge area, flopping hard in his chair. "This better be good." he said irritated he had to wait longer to see Ravyn now.

"It is." Rob told him. "We need to go to Brazil."

Spike sighed loudly. He was tired of this conversation. "Why, we have the one piece. Trull can't do anything without it." Spike told them. As much as he hated it, he agreed with Angel on this one. He wasn't about to risk Ravyn by trotting off to Brazil in search for the 'Star', like they wanted to do.

"Spike, you know as well as we do that if this is the only piece he needs, he will stop at nothing to get it. We need that Blood Stone."

Spike laid his head back on the back of the chair and stared up at the ceiling. They had a point...he knew that. But he couldn't agree with them.

"Why can't we just find out where the bloody thing is. She doesn't need to go."

"Yes....she does. She's the only one who saw the diagram of the Temple. She knows the symbols. Spike it's the only way."

Spike closed his eyes and clenched his jaw tightly, cursing quietly under his breath. They couldn't risk taking her down there anymore than the risk of not taking her. It was a no win situation.

"You guy's aren't stressing out my vampire, are you?" Ravyn asked as she walked into the room and saw Spike. That jaw clenching was a dead give away he was upset. "He's no fun when he's grumpy."

Spike opened his eyes when he heard her and smiled. "Hey pet."

"Hey yourself." Ravyn said as she sat down on his lap. "Where have you been?" she asked him, giving him a little kiss as she did.

Rob watched them, upset that she had interrupted. "Ravyn...we have things to discuss!"

Ravyn turned her head and glared at Rob when he snapped at her. "Yeah, and your point is?"

"My point is..." Rob started, but quickly changed his tone of voice when she flashed yellow eyes at him. "What I meant was, we have things to discuss. You are only going to be a distraction."

Ravyn grinned at him. "Well, if this has anything to do with that damn 'Star' you've been talking about then I have just as much say so in it as you do, so discuss away."

Rob had to bite his tongue. He didn't need her for this. She was needed in Brazil, not the planning.

"Look Ravyn, we know how much you're involved in this but you're not needed for this." Blake told her, tired and ready for other entertainment for the night, not an all night planning party. "We just need you to find the temple, that's all."

"Oh, so....it's okay for me to be involved when we 'actually' get there...but not in this stuff." she asked, getting upset. "What the hell makes you think I'm even going to go? Have any of you even thought to ask me? NO! Why they hell would you?" she yelled as she stood up. "If you think I'm crazy enough to go traipsing off to Brazil where I know for a fact that psycho is...then you're crazier than you look!"

Everyone just sat there staring at her. It was the first time she had ever raised her voice or voiced her opinion....about anything.

Angel came out of his office when he heard the yelling and was surprised to find Ravyn the source of the argument. She was standing there glaring at Rob, Jesse and Blake almost shaking she was so mad. They guy's looked to be in shock at her outburst and Spike...well, he was just watching her, smiling as usual.

"You have to go." Rob told her, trying to remain calm. "We can't find it without you."

"Well, I guess you're up a shit creek without a paddle then...aren't you? There's no WAY I'm going down there! You have one piece, he can't do anything without it!"

"And if he finds it? What then?" Rob yelled back at her.

Ravyn walked closer to him, madder than she had been in a long time. "Well, I guess you need to destroy the piece you have...genius!"

It was like watching a Tennis match. A very loud and interesting Tennis match. Neither one was giving an inch on their position. Everyone was watching, intently as Rob and Ravyn yelled at each other. It was almost amusing. Rob was always the quiet one and no one other than Spike had seen Ravyn mad, so this was the closest thing to the Friday night fight's they had seen in a while.

"We can't destroy it...it's to valuable!" Rob yelled. "How can you even suggest such a thing?"

Ravyn rolled her eyes. "You're insane." she said throwing her arms in the arm. "Why would you want to keep it? You know what it does."

"Exactly the reason to keep it!"

"Fine..you want the damn thing so bad....then go get it!" she yelled as she turned heading for the stairs. "But you'll have to do it without me!"

"You will go....whether you like it or not!"

Spike raised an eyebrow and stared at Rob a minute before looking over to Ravyn. He was waiting on that. Now things were getting interesting.

Ravyn stopped and turned slowly. What started out as a small chuckle turned into a giggle before full out laughter erupted from her. They all stared at her like she had just grown a second head, except for Spike. He knew why she found that so funny.

Ravyn finally controlled her laughter before walking back over to Rob. She was still smiling as she stopped in front of him. "And just 'who' do you think is gonna 'make' me go?"

Rob looked at the other's briefly before turning back to her. "Ravyn...we have to get that Blood Stone....and 'you' have to show us where it is. There are way's....if you don't cooperate." he told her, straightening his back and being as forceful as he could.

"Yeah, I'd like to see you try." Ravyn told him in a dangerously low voice, getting up in his face. "Now this discussion is over. You do all the planning you want, but leave me out of it. I'm NOT going, and that's finial." with that said she turned once again and stomped up the stairs leaving the other's to watch her leave.

"She's being completely unreasonable"

"No she's not." Angel finally spoke up. "We can't force her."

"No, but Spike can." Rob said looking over at him.

Spike chuckled at him and shook his head. "Think not. She don't listen to me any better than the lot of you."

"Spike, you have to convince her to do this?"

"No....I don't. It's to dangerous for her and I'm not risking Trull getting his hands on her just so you can have a piece of history."

"Angel you must see why we need this?" Rob asked, did no one share his concerns?

Angel sighed and looked over at Spike before turning to the others. "I'm sorry Rob...I just can't see the point."

"Then what do you suggest we do?"

"Destroy the piece we have." Spike said as he stood up. "It's the only option you've got."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike knocked once on Ravyn's door before he entered. She was digging through her closest, throwing clothes everywhere, mumbling to herself and he wanted to ring Rob's neck for putting her in such a bad mood.

He walked over to her chair and sat. He smiled as he watched her, her mouth was moving but nothing was coming out. What he wouldn't give to hear that.

"Ravyn....come 'ere" he said after watching her for a while.

"Who the hell does he think he is?" she asked without turning around.

Spike grinned at her. "Calm down and come 'ere."

Ravyn finally turned to look at him. He was just sitting there smiling at her. "What are you smiling at? I don't see anything funny!"

Spike stood up and walked over to her. "No, nothin's funny. Just missed seeing you like this is all."

Ravyn tried to control the smile trying to play on her lips but was failing. Just the way he was looking at her was causing her anger at Rob to dissipate. Putting her arms inside his jacket, she wrapped them around him and laid her head on his shoulder.

Spike kissed her head as he wrapped his arms around her. "No one's gonna make you go."

"Damn right their not!"

Spike chuckled at her and squeezed her tighter. He raised up and looked down at her. "I've got something for you."

Ravyn lifted her head and looked up smiling. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Spike told her, kissing her softly. He pulled back from her and led her back over to the chair, sitting her on his lap once he had sat.

"It's your favorite." he said as he pulled the purple rose from his inside jacket pocket.

Ravyn smiled big when she saw it.

That was what he had been waiting for. That smile. One he had caused.

"And?" she asked him.

"And what?"

Ravyn grinned at him. He always brought her a poem. "My mushies?"

"And what makes you think I brought mushies?"

Ravyn leaned down and kissed him briefly. "Cause you always do." she said against his lips.

Spike wrapped his arms around her and smiled. "Well, gettin to predictable then...time to change my MO I guess."

Ravyn giggled and sat up, pulling his jacket open, searching his pocket. *Nothing in the right* she thought as she dug her hand in it. But in the left, she found what she was looking for. She smiled big when she pulled the cream colored paper out. She turned slightly, leaning back against him as he placed his chin on her shoulder.

Ravyn leaned her head back against Spike's shoulder and opened the paper, finding it odd that it was folded, they never were. She was smiling big as she saw the words and her smile faded a little. It was still there, but for a different reason. She read the three little words he had written, still in the beautiful script all the poems were wrote in and that's when the her heart fluttered. She felt it move as her tears started forming.

She couldn't take her eyes off them. Three little words that meant more than any other words she had ever seen.

As the first tear fell, she turned and wrapped an arm around Spike's neck, crying like she usually did, but for a completely different reason this time.

Spike smiled and buried his head in her shoulder as he ran his hand up and down her back. He squeezed her tight to him and inhaled her scent.

Raising his head up, he looked down at her and touched the side of her face.

Ravyn finally raised her head and looked up at him.

Spike smiled at her as he cupped her cheek in his hand. "I Love You" he told her, looking her in the eyes. He brushed her tears away and leaned up, kissing her as he did.

Ravyn returned his kiss, more tears falling as she did. She knew he meant it this time. It was there, in the way he looked at her, the way he treated her and the way he had said it. Wrapping her other arm around him, she held him, never wanting to let go. She loved him more than anything in the world and now.....he loved her back.

Ravyn broke the kiss and pulled back slightly and smiled looking at him. "Why do you always make me cry with these things."

"Don't mean to." Spike told her, returning her smile as he brushed her tears away.

Ravyn laid her forehead against his and ran her finger's through his hair. "I Love You Spike." she told him quietly.

"I Love You to Ravyn."