Impact
folder
AtS/BtVS Crossovers › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
23
Views:
1,996
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
AtS/BtVS Crossovers › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
23
Views:
1,996
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Monologue
Giles was asleep again when Buffy entered his room. She called his name softly, “Giles?” but he gave no response. The nurse smiled at her as she finished checking his vitals once more. “He’s asleep, and he needs his rest. Best thing for him right now.” Her nametag said Bunny, and Buffy thought of Anya at that. As Bunny left the room, Buffy could hear Anya squealing in fear from Nurse Bunny in her mind. “Bunny? Who in their right mind would name their child Bunny?” A slight smile crossed Buffy’s face at that thought.
She took hold of Giles’ hand in both of hers. His other arm was covered in bandages. Eventually they would cast it, but the swelling had to go down first, and since he wasn’t moving it, there was no real reason to immobilize him in a cast and sling for now.
Buffy yearned for him to open his eyes again. She needed to know he was going to be okay. She needed him to know she loved him. She resolved herself to never hurt him again, and to prove to him everyday how much she did love him, and want him, and need him. But she couldn’t do any of those things if he slept.
“Giles, I know you need your rest, but really, you’ve been sleeping for two days now.” She stroked his thumb her her own. “The nurse that was just in here tending to you…her name is Bunny. I thought how funny it would be if Anya was here now. You and I would have had a good laugh at that.” She frowned for a moment. “I miss your laughter. I know I’ve done little lately to make you smile, let alone laugh, but I promise to be better. I’m going to change that.”
Buffy took her left hand and stroked Giles’ forehead. The rest of his head was covered in bandages, and his hair had been shaved in places. She stroked his cheek, and ran her finger over his eyebrows. The entire time she kept up her monologue to him, willing him to hear her. “Everyone is worried about you. Willow and Xander and Dawn have stayed in the waiting room all this time. Angel has helped a lot too. He convinced the staff to let me in here, even though I’m not related to you. But what do they know, right? We’re family. All of us.”
“I’m sorry about what I said earlier too, about you being like my father. You are nothing like him! Nothing! You couldn’t be like him if you tried. You are the one that has always been there for me, supporting me. I’ve never needed my father, not like I need you. I do need you, you know. And I love you, and want you. And not in a fatherly way. I know you’d die for me, as I would for you. Well, it’s my destiny to die for the world, and I’ve already done that. Let’s not go there again.”
She lapsed into a momentary silence. Then the words finally came that she had needed to say to him for so long. “I’m sorry for how I acted, slamming the door in your face. I still don’t agree with you, nor think you were right, but that wasn’t right of me either. When it comes to you, sometimes I just don’t think right. Yet, you are the one that taught me to make the decisions, to be the strong one, to create the plan, and follow it through. I’ve always been impulsive in my slayage. But you know the one area where I’ve never been impulsive and I should have been? In my love for you.
“I’ve loved you for a long time now, Rupert Giles. I’m not sure when the moment struck me. I didn’t just wake up one morning and say, HEY, I love Giles. It was a gradual process. And then, when I knew, it terrified me. I've been scared on patrol at times, and feared in battle, but I’ve never been more terrified then when it came to being in love with you. Yet, if I had acted impulsively, and thrown myself at you, or told you how I felt, things would have turned out so much better. Everything with Spike would have never happened. I wouldn’t have hurt him, because I did, you know. And yes, he hurt me too, but….neither of us are blameless.
“You are not to blame though, not for anything. If I had told you how I felt a long time ago, you wouldn’t be lying here now. And if I had told you the truth, then you wouldn’t have been upset with the Spike thing, and our argument would have never happened. I’m just no good ate Gie Giles. Everyone I love leaves me. Sometimes I think, as the Slayer, or maybe just as me, I’m not supposed to be with anyone. But now I’m not THE slayer. There are many out there, and I thought I’d be free for a time, and maybe even free to love you. But I messed that up. And now you are hurt, and it’s my fault again. I’ve been the selfish one, not you. Angel was wrong about that. You’ve always thought of me first. I know that.”
She started to cry again, but was startled when she felt pressure on her right hand. Giles was squeezing her hand. It wasn’t very hard, but it was there. She moved her gaze from their hands and lighted onto his face. His eyes were opened looking at her, glistening in tears. She brushed some of the tears away with her left hand, not removing her other hand from his now soft grip. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. He tried to speak, but wasn’t able to. She could tell he was frustrated at that, and she strove to calm him, smoothing the wrinkles on his forehead. “It’s okay Giles. It’s okay. You’ll get your voice back, I just know it.” She lightly squeezed his hand in hers. “Can you move anything else?”
He squeezed her hand again, a little more stronger this time. Then he tried to move his toes, and she saw the bedspread move slightly. “That’s great Giles!” He smiled up at her.
“Giles, remember when the Gentlemen came to Sunnydale?” He nodded that he did remember. “We made it through then, and we’ll make it through this, okay? Blink twice for yes?” She smiled sort of mockingly at him. He smiled back, and blinked twice.
Buffy knew she should call for the nurse, and located the button next to his bed. She pressed it, hearing the buzzing that came from the nurse’s station. “Someone will be here real soon to check on you.” He didn’t pull his gaze from hers. She knew they wouldn’t have much more time alone before the nurse arrived. “Giles, did you hear what I was saying earlier?”
He blinked twice. She smiled tentatively, nervous all of a sudden. Then she put on a Willow resolve face. “I meant it Giles. I love you, and I’m sorry, and I’ll never hurt you again.” He blinked twice. Then he blinked three times. She looked at him in confusion. “What? I don’t understand.” Then he took his hand that was holding his good hand, and brought it to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand tenderly, and held it there. This was how Nurse Bunny found them a moment later, the doctor on her heels.
TBC
She took hold of Giles’ hand in both of hers. His other arm was covered in bandages. Eventually they would cast it, but the swelling had to go down first, and since he wasn’t moving it, there was no real reason to immobilize him in a cast and sling for now.
Buffy yearned for him to open his eyes again. She needed to know he was going to be okay. She needed him to know she loved him. She resolved herself to never hurt him again, and to prove to him everyday how much she did love him, and want him, and need him. But she couldn’t do any of those things if he slept.
“Giles, I know you need your rest, but really, you’ve been sleeping for two days now.” She stroked his thumb her her own. “The nurse that was just in here tending to you…her name is Bunny. I thought how funny it would be if Anya was here now. You and I would have had a good laugh at that.” She frowned for a moment. “I miss your laughter. I know I’ve done little lately to make you smile, let alone laugh, but I promise to be better. I’m going to change that.”
Buffy took her left hand and stroked Giles’ forehead. The rest of his head was covered in bandages, and his hair had been shaved in places. She stroked his cheek, and ran her finger over his eyebrows. The entire time she kept up her monologue to him, willing him to hear her. “Everyone is worried about you. Willow and Xander and Dawn have stayed in the waiting room all this time. Angel has helped a lot too. He convinced the staff to let me in here, even though I’m not related to you. But what do they know, right? We’re family. All of us.”
“I’m sorry about what I said earlier too, about you being like my father. You are nothing like him! Nothing! You couldn’t be like him if you tried. You are the one that has always been there for me, supporting me. I’ve never needed my father, not like I need you. I do need you, you know. And I love you, and want you. And not in a fatherly way. I know you’d die for me, as I would for you. Well, it’s my destiny to die for the world, and I’ve already done that. Let’s not go there again.”
She lapsed into a momentary silence. Then the words finally came that she had needed to say to him for so long. “I’m sorry for how I acted, slamming the door in your face. I still don’t agree with you, nor think you were right, but that wasn’t right of me either. When it comes to you, sometimes I just don’t think right. Yet, you are the one that taught me to make the decisions, to be the strong one, to create the plan, and follow it through. I’ve always been impulsive in my slayage. But you know the one area where I’ve never been impulsive and I should have been? In my love for you.
“I’ve loved you for a long time now, Rupert Giles. I’m not sure when the moment struck me. I didn’t just wake up one morning and say, HEY, I love Giles. It was a gradual process. And then, when I knew, it terrified me. I've been scared on patrol at times, and feared in battle, but I’ve never been more terrified then when it came to being in love with you. Yet, if I had acted impulsively, and thrown myself at you, or told you how I felt, things would have turned out so much better. Everything with Spike would have never happened. I wouldn’t have hurt him, because I did, you know. And yes, he hurt me too, but….neither of us are blameless.
“You are not to blame though, not for anything. If I had told you how I felt a long time ago, you wouldn’t be lying here now. And if I had told you the truth, then you wouldn’t have been upset with the Spike thing, and our argument would have never happened. I’m just no good ate Gie Giles. Everyone I love leaves me. Sometimes I think, as the Slayer, or maybe just as me, I’m not supposed to be with anyone. But now I’m not THE slayer. There are many out there, and I thought I’d be free for a time, and maybe even free to love you. But I messed that up. And now you are hurt, and it’s my fault again. I’ve been the selfish one, not you. Angel was wrong about that. You’ve always thought of me first. I know that.”
She started to cry again, but was startled when she felt pressure on her right hand. Giles was squeezing her hand. It wasn’t very hard, but it was there. She moved her gaze from their hands and lighted onto his face. His eyes were opened looking at her, glistening in tears. She brushed some of the tears away with her left hand, not removing her other hand from his now soft grip. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. He tried to speak, but wasn’t able to. She could tell he was frustrated at that, and she strove to calm him, smoothing the wrinkles on his forehead. “It’s okay Giles. It’s okay. You’ll get your voice back, I just know it.” She lightly squeezed his hand in hers. “Can you move anything else?”
He squeezed her hand again, a little more stronger this time. Then he tried to move his toes, and she saw the bedspread move slightly. “That’s great Giles!” He smiled up at her.
“Giles, remember when the Gentlemen came to Sunnydale?” He nodded that he did remember. “We made it through then, and we’ll make it through this, okay? Blink twice for yes?” She smiled sort of mockingly at him. He smiled back, and blinked twice.
Buffy knew she should call for the nurse, and located the button next to his bed. She pressed it, hearing the buzzing that came from the nurse’s station. “Someone will be here real soon to check on you.” He didn’t pull his gaze from hers. She knew they wouldn’t have much more time alone before the nurse arrived. “Giles, did you hear what I was saying earlier?”
He blinked twice. She smiled tentatively, nervous all of a sudden. Then she put on a Willow resolve face. “I meant it Giles. I love you, and I’m sorry, and I’ll never hurt you again.” He blinked twice. Then he blinked three times. She looked at him in confusion. “What? I don’t understand.” Then he took his hand that was holding his good hand, and brought it to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand tenderly, and held it there. This was how Nurse Bunny found them a moment later, the doctor on her heels.
TBC