Truth Denied

They made a big show, they put Xander in some ill-fitting clothes, but the best they could do on such short notice, and had him ring the lobby bell. They let him in and called the cops who wanted to know where Xander had been, but Xander played the drugged victim who knew nothing.

The police took him to the hospital, where they documented his dehydration, took a urine sample and blood sample for toxicology analysis amongst other things. They wanted to keep him over night, but Spike put his foot down and said they’d stay at Ben’s. The police said they’d be by later for more questions and let them go.

Once back at the apartment, Xander collapsed in an armchair and started sobbing. Spike sat on the arm and rubbed his back. Eventually Xander clung to Spike’s leg, his head in Spike’s lap as he sobbed. 

“Got you, you’re safe now, not going to let them hurt you again,” whispered Spike, fingers in his shaggy brown hair.

“H-heard the d-deal…. S-Spike I c-cant, you kn-know….”

“I know, I know. I thought I’d get another bloke, pick up a guy from the club, invite him to a private dance, and…. Let nature take it’s course.”

“Spike! You can’t! You’ll ruin yourself for the club!”

“Who cares? Otherwise I’ll be dead for the club, I don’t have to dance again, I can live off of what the bar and door makes.”

“You’re going to end your career like that?” Xander asked, shocked, looking at him with wide brown eyes, even Ben stared at him with his concerned green ones.

“Yeah… it’ll keep us safe.” Spike murmured.

“And what if Priape doesn’t give him an audience? Or worse, does, and laughs at him and turns him away? He’s not just going to let us live!”

“What do you want from me? I saved your life, yeah? I gave them an exchange, we do something and they stop from killing you. If it works, they leave us alone, if it doesn’t, they still kill you, which they would have done anyways, but this time they kill me too. It’s my bollocks that are in this that weren’t before so you can natter on up all you like, I’m the one in a different place than you were this morning!”

Xander took a shuddering breath then sighed. “Look, I don’t mean so sound ungrateful, but usually when I’m rescued I don’t get killed a week later.”

“So I’m not up to Buffy’s style of rescuin’, is that it?” Spike said darkly, but Xander just slapped his leg and leaned back.

“One thing I’ve learned, playing the damsel in distress all these times? My hero always gets me out, and Spike?” He leaned in and rested his head on Spike’s knee. “You’re my hero.”

“Not like you’re putting me under any pressure or anything so I won’t bollocks it up or anything now are ya?” Spike said and ran his hand gently through Xander’s waves, Xander nuzzled his knee.

“Don’t mean to, but, you’re the one that came to rescue me… thanks Spike. You could have called the slayers and ruined… everything. Thank you.” Xander whispered, Spike felt hot tears through his jeans on his leg.

“Knew you’d never forgive me if I did, would never do that to you Xan, know you’re trying to get away from their ilk, not going to drag you into them again.” He ran his hand through those shaggy brown waves like he was lost in a memory, but the hair was longer, and he had a brush. But this… this felt right this time, his heart sang, and he kept running his fingers through the hair.

“Will you really give up the mystique of being Priape’s unapproachable Spike, just to save me?”

“And me! Added myself to you in the bargain…” Spike sighed and stared off into space. “Wish I was still a vamp, could compel a room full of humans to orgasm at once, now? I’m nothing without my vamp abilities, couldn’t even tell if the spilled blood in the apartment was serious, or was even yours or not.”

“Blood? That stuff? That was some kind of ointment they spread on my forehead before they conked me on the head to knock me out, I just ran around, flailing a lot and didn’t let them do it easily.” Xander looked up at him sheepishly.

“Hoping I’d hear… I’m sorry Xander, I was in my office, it’s soundproof, my panic room, I go there when… I need to be alone, and you leaving was too much… too much for me to handle so I went there to… to deal with it.” He cleared his throat and rubbed his completely ungelled hair, back and forth, rapidly, until it stuck up in weird angles from all the friction.

“Don’t feel guilty, I dropped a heavy load on you, and now you have a pretty heavy mission to complete before the week’s out…” Xander thought for a while, drinking his tea, remembering his captivity, in great detail.

“Spike?” He murmured.

“Yeah?” 

“I need to tell you something,” he said softly, and stroked his bare ankle with his pinky.

“W-what?”

“Can’t say yet… need to build up to it,” he whispered, looking away.

“Then why’d you say something now?” He asked, flabberghasted.

“Just… don’t jump into the chamber with the first person who says yes, okay? I got… I need to tell you something first.” Xander said lamely, wanting to say it firmly, surely, but when he wasn’t saying anything, he sounded pathetic.

“Right… how about we just drink our tea?”

“Yeah, good idea.”

All three of them drank, in companionable, strained silence.