Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me

“Tell me why we're here again? I mean, here at the beach at the beginning of April, not here in a metaphysical sense.” Xander shivered in the evening air. It might be California but it was still chilly at times.

Cordelia rolled her eyes. “The swim team got to choose and surprise, surprise, they chose the beach. You're just being a wuss since you spent a week in Arizona, soaking up the desert heat.”

Xander shoved his hands into his pockets. “Jealous bitch.” Cordy snorted and Xander grinned. “All I'm saying is it's a stupid idea to have a beach party when it's too fucking cold to swim. It's nippley.”

“Xander, please, I know more about your nipples than anyone who isn't Spike and, really, that's information I just do not need to know. Besides, it's nice to have a winning team to cheer for. It's hard being peppy when you're pepping for complete losers.”

Xander just snorted and got closer to the fire. It did seem damn cold after his trip to the desert. During their trip to Taos, Xander had wanted to spend most of his time with Spike but his lover had other ideas and every day after lunch Xander had been all but pushed out of the hotel room and told to go out and “play in the bloody sunshine before your arse is whiter than mine.”

Cordelia glanced over at where Buffy was sitting alone on the edge of the party. Xander noticed that the blonde was brooding, again. He looked over the crowd to find Willow and she was playing groupie to Oz's band where it was set up near the parking lot. It was a good party; Xander just would have liked it better if it was warmer. Oh, and if it wasn't after sundown and he didn't have to worry about everyone being turned into juice boxes for vampires.

Then again, thanks to Cordy the cheerleading squad would probably kick their butts. Thanks to her, Tae-Bo and basic self defense was a requirement of being on the squad, and many of the girls had started taking Judo since it increased their flexibility. At a regional competition for cheerleaders one of the judges had grabbed Aura's butt and she'd flipped him over her shoulder. Sunnydale had lost because the guy was a prick and had friends but they'd become the fan favorite.

Cordelia gave a little sigh and Xander looked over to what she was looking at. One of the swim team, Cameron Walker, was trying to put the moves on her. They talked for a few minutes and then Buffy went to save Jonathon from getting drowned in the ice cooler and Cordy sighed again.

Xander nudged her with his shoulder. “So...crushing on the Buffster, huh? Welcome to the Tribe of Dorothy. I'll get your introductory packet with rainbow key chain to you tomorrow. Oh! And as a special gift you get a DVD of But...I'm a Cheerleader!”

“Shut up. God. Do I need to threaten Ethan or slip holy water into your fridge?”

Xander grinned. “Neither. I am capable of figuring things out for myself, you know.”

Cordelia turned and hit him in the arm and Xander winced. “Yeah, right. Like the fact that Willow is still crushing on you? Poor Oz. If you suddenly decided you weren't gay she'd be all over you in a New York Minute.”

“God.” Xander closed his eyes. “Please don't tell me she's trying to magically grow a penis.” Xander knew that Spike had sent Cordelia to talk to Buffy and Willow but, other than a giant cat fight, nothing had been accomplished. Cordelia wasn't exactly diplomatic and the girls...well, they were convinced that they were going to do the Right Thing. Whatever that was. Xander hadn't talked to them much since getting back from Spring Break over a week ago and Cordy had stopped working out with Buffy, which bothered her, so much so that Xander noticed.

“Okay, I will give you fifty bucks if you never put that mental image in my head ever again!! GAH!”

Xander laughed. “Deal. Now, quit avoiding my earlier question. You have a crush on Buffy, so what are you going to do about it?”

Cordelia seemed to deflate and her normal air of self-confidence seemed to ebb away. “Nothing. I mean, she wasn't exactly accepting of you being gay, for one thing. And she's still all Junior Miss Angst over Angel. Oh, and the little fact that she totally hates me has something to do with it!”

Xander pulled her in for a hug. He hated seeing Cordy all...human. It was unnerving. “She just doesn't know you, Cor. I mean, all she sees is this shallow bitch who's friends with Ethan and she still kind of resents the fact that Giles is with him. Plus, you’re more popular and rich, and she used to be that in her old school when her parents were together, before the Slayer stuff got in the way. So she's a little bit jealous. She doesn't get what I see.”

Cordy pulled away. “Do I even want to know?”

“Yes, idiot. You are a great friend. I mean, you protect the people you care about. You've helped me time and time again. You're smart, beautiful inside and out. And yes, you can be a bitch but that's not a bad thing, really. You're not even a shallow bitch, you're a...really deep thinking kind of bitch and that's just sounding worse and worse, isn't it?”

Cordelia gave a rueful laugh. “No, it isn't. I see where you're going. Thanks. I think.” She took a deep breath. “If I'm going to be a bitch, I'm going to be the best bitch I can be. And meanwhile, I've got better things to do than moon over someone who's still hooked on her ex even though he's killing people.”

Off to the side there was some screaming and yelling, and not the fun loving kind. They looked at each other and took off, Cordelia pausing to pick up her practice bag that had most of their weapons stored under her pom-poms.

They got there behind nearly everyone else, and now everybody was milling about looking for Dodd McAlvy, one of the swim team and resident asshole now that Larry was dead. Buffy and Cameron were standing close together and Xander could feel Cordy stiffen beside him.

“Come on. They've got enough people here; let's go interrupt the Three Brits and see if they know what Angelus was up to tonight.”

Cordelia glanced over at the Slayer acting snuggly with yet another guy with a unibrow. “Right. Let me go find Aura and the girls and we're outta here.”

Xander just nodded. The idea of chaperoning the entire cheerleading team was better than hanging around looking for an asshole who was probably dead by now. Maybe that's why there were vampires, to eat the jackasses of the world.

“Xander?”

He turned around to find Willow looking at him with big eyes. Part of him was glad to see her but another part twisted inside. Now that Cordy had pointed out her crush, he could see it, surrounding her in a slight glow that kept on trying to reach out for him. Hardly any tendrils of affection were connecting to Oz, who stood off to one side. Crap. Xander really felt sorry for the guy and made a mental note to try to hang out with Oz more, when Willow wasn't around.

“Hey, Oz, Willow.”

They stood there looking at each other until Willow broke. “So...what's going on?”

Xander just shrugged. “One of the swim team morons wandered off. Cordy and I are gonna check in with G-man and see what he has to say since Buffy's got this area covered.” From what he could see she had Cameron covered too, but he knew he was just annoyed on Cordy's behalf.

“Oh...did you have a nice Spring Break?”

Xander grinned, despite his discomfort. “God, yes! Spike took me to Taos, New Mexico. It was so nice and warm! And the food was great! Spike took me to this place called the the Stakeout Grill and Bar, and I actually had steak and lobster! And what's really great is that Taos has this real big New Age movement, so during the day I went to a few classes on meditation and learning psychic self defense and cleansing your auras and stuff like that. And he treated me to a day at a spa! So all my pores have been cleaned out, my aura and spiritual self are squeaky clean and, not only are my chakras aligned, I know what the hell they are.”

Xander couldn't help but grin and bounce on his toes. It had been a great vacation and the first real one he'd had since he was ten. They'd left the Friday that Spring Break started and didn't come back till Sunday the week after. Eight days away from Angelus and the Hellmouth had left Xander feeling refreshed.

And Spike had chartered a private plane to take them there so there wasn't that annoying fourteen hour drive time. And he'd gotten to join the Mile High Club. Twice. Not that he was going to tell Willow that.

“What? Spike let you out of the hotel room? I'm shocked.”

While her tone was teasing and light, Xander could tell she was probing for something or other. He rolled his eyes. “No, Willow, he chained me to his bed and made me his sex slave, subject to his every whim. We are not connected at the hip all the time, and when we are it's because we want to be.” Xander thought for a moment about the willing sex slave thing. He'd have to find out when Spike's birthday was.

“Xander! It's just...we don't talk anymore. Like we used to. I miss you.”

Xander sighed but didn't give her the hug she was so obviously aiming for. “I miss you too,Wills, but you don't seem to like what I'm choosing to do with my life. And it is my life. I can't just do things that you want me to do to make you happy.”

“I don't understand. I mean, Spike is evil. We could give him the soul or you could find someone better than him, someone nicer, like Oz!”

Xander closed his eyes and took a step away. For a moment he could see her fantasy, Xander and Oz together. Not that Oz wasn't a good looking guy, but he wasn't Spike. “Willow, the only way we'll stop being friends is if you keep pushing me away. I love Spike, I have made a long term commitment to Spike. You're going to have to accept that I love him as he is. We're taking precautions so that no one, you or Buffy, can curse him, so don't even try it.”

Cordelia walked over and looked at Willow before ignoring her and turning to Xander. “Cindy's boyfriend, Zac, is seeing the girls home. One of the guys on the swim team tried to grab her tit and she slammed him into the ground. I think Zac is torn between being scared that she can kick his ass and aroused. She's bullied him into taking everyone home so he can get a shot at third base. Let's go.”

“Of course he's bullied by her; poor guy's parents named him Zac. That would lead to massive bullying.”

Cordy went to hit him again and he sidestepped. “You should know, Xander.” Cordy looked over at Willow and Oz. “Well, are you two coming to see the Wonderful Wizards of the Hellmouth or what?”

Xander laughed and Willow gave a confused look as Oz gathered her up and started following behind them. He put an arm around Cordy and squeezed. “You go, girl! Soon, I'll have you watching Xena and we'll march in a parade together this summer.”

“So help me god, Xander Harris, if you come near me with a flannel shirt I will kick your ass so hard you won't let Spike near you for a week.”

Xander just laughed. Willow and Oz were far enough behind them so they couldn't hear him teasing Cordy. “I see...I see...I see a future for you as a Physical Education teacher. And you're wearing gray sweats and watching the cheerleaders change in the locker room.”

“You are so fucking sick. I'm telling Spike you're picking on me. Spike likes me, he gave me diamonds.”

Xander just burst out laughing and he tried to stop since he could feel Willow staring at the back of his head. If she didn't stop his hair was going to burst into flames.

That didn't stop him from leaning over and whispering in Cordy's ear. “Lipstick Lesbo.”

“Vampire Twink.”

Xander spluttered. “Umm, Drama Diva.”

Cordy flashed him a smile. “And don't you forget it.”

*****