The Silent Urge Series

+++
++
+

A big thanks to Joolz and Alwaysand for the beta-work!!!


And a MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE !!!


__________________________________________________

TSUS 48 - Reunion


~ Xander ~

We're close to Buffy's house when Angel suddenly appears in front of me. I manage to stop just in time. Damn, he can move fast if he wants to! Willow squeaks in surprise beside me and digs her nails in my arm.

"What's wrong?" I ask. Angel just keeps staring at me. What's this supposed to be? Vulcan Mind Meld?

"Is there a problem?" Giles has come to my left side and Riley hovers so close to my back that I can actually feel his breath on my neck – not just literally.

"I'm not gonna bolt!" I say, annoyed, and shove at Willow. Something’s up and Angel feels it, but I don't. I stretch my senses out as much as I can – human and heightened, but I don't feel anything out of the ordinary. "Angel?"

There is a glimmer of gold in his eyes, gone so fast I'm sure I've imagined it. Was that a warning – has this to do with a vampire related thing? Is it about Spike? Is he here?
I force myself to stay calm, to not ask, to not get into another panic attack. Only another hour to get through and then we are free to go.

Buffy opens the door. She must have been waiting for us already.

The moment my foot comes down on the doorstep my whole body feels electrocuted. It's like I’ve been hit by lightning. White everywhere and the Urge burns inside me until it all spirals into one pure impulse: SPIKE.

There is no holding back. There isn't even a conscious thought. I run before I'm aware of it.

Everything goes chaotic behind me, voices calling my name and noises like fighting.
I don't care. I need to get to him, I need to get to Spike.

~ Spike ~

Xander, Xander, Xander is here.

His presence suddenly rips through me like thunder on a silent night and it cracks up my senses, pumps me up with adrenaline. He's coming, closer by the second, I can already hear his footsteps. The door bangs open and seconds later he is here. He's really here, hands on me over all the layers and he tears on them, tears them off me with the desperation of a freshly risen Childe with their first live prey.

"Shh. Shh. I'm here. I'm okay. You found me." I whisper against his mouth, try to stop the mewling noises he makes between the biting kisses. He whimpers and there is moisture on his cheeks. He kneels in front of me and I hate that I can't get out of my chains. He's so desperate for affection, reassurance and I can't even touch him or hold him. "Gotta be strong. You need to be strong now, Xander, boy. Be strong." I tell him because I can hear the others coming down the stairs already.

"Get away from him, Spike!" Buffy screeches the moment her eyes fall on us.

"Oi Slayer! I'm not doing anything, still chained up nice and tight."

"But you are doing something..." The extent of her ignorance is impressive.

"Just because Xander is all over me doesn't mean I magicked him somehow. I'm just that irresistible." Play it light, Spike. Look Slayer, I'm not dangerous. I'm just a dumb, arrogant vampire who's full of shit. No danger at all to you, Almighty Slayer. You can let me go. No harm done. Promise.

"Get away from him, Xander." Buffy says, in her ice queen voice and pulls a stake from behind her back.

Xander doesn't move, doesn't show any sign that he heard her at all. He just clings to me and keeps nuzzling at the side of my neck. He's gotta be hungry.

"Xander! I'm not saying it again! Get - away - from - Spike!"

Xander stiffens against me, he drags in air, steeling himself and his whole body goes into fighting mode. Not good. "Xander?" He looks up at me and, fuck, I think his eyes are gleaming. Why is he turning so fast? He presses a lingering kiss to my lips and then pushes himself to his feet. Slowly he turns and faces Buffy, his body carefully covering all of mine from her reach.

"NO." He says and it's like a pistol shot gone off in a kindergarten.


~ Xander ~

"But Xander..."

"No, Buffy, I will not get away from Spike." I say and sigh. "And put away the damn stake."

"No. Why?" Isn't it obvious?

"Because I'm not pointing a gun at you either!"

"Huh?" She actually looks weirded out. "Why do I have to put my stake away?"

"Buffy, maybe because it's not polite to have a conversation with weapons out?" Willow adds and tries to grab the stake. Buffy evades her.
"But I don't want to be polite! I want to kill Spike." She says and makes a stabbing motion. "He hurt Xander, remember Willow?" Buffy speaks as if to a child, as if Willow was the one not getting the point.

Giles takes off his glasses and starts cleaning them.

Angel comes to us and with a sharp motion of his head he indicates that he wants to look after Spike. I nod. "Get him out of the restraints, Angel.“ Just barely remembering the hierarchy, I add: “Please."

"So, what kind of tests do you want to do?" I ask and look each of them in the eyes. My friends, my worthless friends.

"I don't think there are any tests necessary." Giles says and Willow starts crying. Riley gets into fighting stance.

I can't believe they actually talked everything through. What do we do if Xander is a vamp whore? Oh we kill him. Or Spike. Or better both. Making plans is not Buffy's way of slaying - she rarely makes plans. Only for the real big enemies. Guess I count as one of them now? "So what? You wanna kill me now?"

"No, Xander! How could you think that! We're only after Spike!" Willow says and manages to sound wide-eyed with innocence and aggrieved. "We would never hurt you."

"But you hurt me if you kill him!“ I’m starting to lose my patience with them, with all of them. What else shall I do to make them believe I’m with Spike, free will and all. “Why would you kill him anyway?"

Riley snorts - Angel and Spike growl in stereo.

"Xander, when we found you... you were... there was blood and you could barely stand and it was obvious that Spike, look, he raped you." Willow sobs.

"That's not what happened-"

"This is this Oslo-thing again, yes, Giles?" Buffy asks and Giles stares at her uncomprehending for a moment, then he answers.

"It could be that Xander is indeed affected by the Stockholm-Syndrome. We don't know how long he was kidnapped by Spike and-"

"Hello? I'm in the room. How about asking me?" European capitols, my ass. And kidnapped?

"It's not like you told us anything!" Buffy screams at me, at least we're back to direct accusations. "Why now Xander, what is all this mess? You never liked Angel, or Spike and you were the one who told me to stop it when I was with Angel..."

"I was stupid. Buffy, I'm sorry. I was stupid and envious and a brat in all ways you can imagine."

"And what’s changed? What makes you think you’ve changed that much? What if you're stupid and …bratty again?"

I look at Spike and he grimaces, turns his eyes to the ceiling - too much of a chick flick moment for him. "He saved me, Buffy. He saved me when no one else could and he didn't need to. He chose to save me."

"And what did he get out of it?" Riley injects.

"Free blood." Spike smirks at Riley.

"Not helping." Angel says in Sire's voice.

"So he changed you? There was blood involved?"

"No. Yes. It's all wrong. Whatever." I throw my hands up helplessly. "What does matter is: he saved me and he didn't have to and he did it anyway."

"And now what? You owe him your services until he or rather you die? Seems to me a bit old fashioned." Giles asks.

"Look who’s talking." Angel sneers.

"If I remember right I'm not the oldest one in the room." Giles gives back.

"Yeah, but you sure look it." And Spike scores the goal like no one else can.

"So you feel like you owe him?" Willow asks with a frown on her face. "Does he pressure you-"

"No. It's not like that. He saved me and that made me see him in a new light." Can I sound anymore girly?! Spike actually snorts in the background, but his fingertips touch mine. He's finally free of the chains.

"Xander, god, what kind of mess did you get yourself into that Spike had to save you anyway? What happened that even a pathetic, disabled vampire felt the need to help you?"


~ Spike ~

Only the combined effort of Angel and Xander hold me back. I snarl and snap my fangs at the slayer like a rabid dog, spitting and growling at her. Is she just too stupid to even comprehend how blunt she's being? How she belittles him just to quip at me?

"You stupid bint! Didn't have a lot of time to think about helping after the whelp dropped in my arms half-dead after his father had fucking belted him until his bones showed through."

"Spike!" Yeah, I know, Xander doesn’t want this in the open, but they just need to understand what happened or we’ll never make it out of here.

"Wasn't the first time by any means, considering as long as Xander took it, little drunken momma didn't need to. You love your mom, don't you, slayer? Xander proved that every other night, has been taking a beating for his mom for I don't wanna even think about how long."

"Spike - will you stop it!" Xander has turned to me, but looks at the floor, embarrassed.

“No, Xander, you fucking stop it. You hid well enough for your little friends here. But you shouldn’t have needed to. Your parents hurt you and there was no one to help you until I was there---“ I break off. Fucking melodramatic soap-opera-style revealing speech. “Can we go now?“

They look stunned, these people who pretend to care for my boy. I wonder what they expected. As far as it goes, I’m done. Done with them, done with Sunnydale. I just want to get Xander and get the hell out of dodge.

“I don’t think you can go with Spike, Xander.“ Oh the bloody Slayer again. Enlighten us. “We might not have been there before and I’m really, really sorry we didn’t notice anything, but we’re here now and we won’t let you go from one violent relationship into another one!“


______________tbc__________

+
++
+++