Healing

Part 48

By the time Xander and Spike made it to Giles's house it was past noon. They hadn't wanted to run the risk of sunlight, so Spike spent the trip over in the back of Xander’s car under a heavy tarp.

Giles, Buffy, Willow and Tara were all sitting in the dining room reading through spell texts. Buffy looked like she would rather be doing anything else. Giles looked like a man who hadn't had a decent nights sleep in a long time, and the witches were both looking extremely worried. It was that part that put Spike on edge.

"Where's the other watcher?"

Giles and Buffy both shook their heads but it was Tara who answered.

"He went out for a while. I think he needed some space."

Spike and Xander shared a look and then Spike nodded. Xander kissed him and headed for the door.

"I'll try not to be too long."

"Take yer time, pet. Just no kissing. Or I'll have to kill him."

Xander smiled goofily at his lover and shook his head.

"No kissing. Besides, I think we're both a little too warm for each others tastes."

Spike smirked, Giles polished his glasses and tried to pretend he hadn't heard that, Willow and Tara both giggled and Buffy shuddered and made a quiet eww sound. She still wasn't all that keen on Angel and Wesley. It just seemed... wrong to her.

Once Xander had left, Giles caught Spike's attention and nodded toward the kitchen. Spike followed the ex-watcher into the other room and took a seat at the small table.

"What's up Rupes?"

"Please, do not call me that. Xander’s G-man is bad enough, I don't need... this... from you."

"Okay, Rupert."

Giles sighed and took off his glasses again. It was no wonder the protective coating never lasted, the way he was always rubbing at them. He really needed to find another way of dealing with his stress.

"I wanted to ask a favour. It seems that Ethan may know more about what the spell on Angel was intended to do, well, other than putting Angelus in control. I was hoping to persuade you to, er, talk with him. Get him to tell you what he knows."

Spike grinned ferally. He hadn't tortured a human - other than Xander’s relations - in too bloody long. This was going to be fun.

"Sure mate. Seeing as you asked so nicely and all."


Xander found Wesley in the coffee shop, sitting at the same table as the first time he'd found him here. He got himself a cup and then joined his new friend.

"Hey."

"Hello. Did Rupert send you to find me?"

"Nope. Thought you might like some company. You know, a friendly ear."

"Ah. So it's sympathy then."

Xander sipped his coffee and then looked Wesley straight in the eye.

"No. Not sympathy. I don't pity you, Wes. Mind you, I still don't understand the attraction to Dead boy, but that's your call. I just thought you might want to talk to someone who won't judge you. We don't choose who we fall in love with. Do you think I would have picked Spike, if that were true? I mean, he's moody, sarcastic, self centred, egotistical... The list goes on."

Wesley smiled a little and picked up his cup. He took a long swallow of the rapidly cooling brew and then looked at Xander with curiosity.

"If he's like that, and also evil - you did forget to mention that - why are you with him?"

"Because, he is also smart, funny, loyal, giving, protective, sexy as hell... He loves me, like no one else has. He makes me feel better about myself, he accepts me for who I am, who I really am. I don't have to wear a mask around Spike. I can be me, and it's enough for him. Does that make sense to you?"

Wesley sighed and shook his head.

"I understand. I can't say it makes sense to me but I do understand. You accept him, all of him, and he accepts you. I had thought I had that with Angel. I can now see that isn't so. While I do accept Angel... "

"You don't accept the demon. Just the soul."

"Yes."

"It's understandable, Wes. Angelus isn't exactly the cuddly type."

"No he isn't. Unless of course, he were squeezing the life out of you, literally."

Xander chuckled, and Wesley joined him.

"I just don't know how I'll ever be able to trust him again."

"Okay, and this goes no further than this table but... Angel is a good guy. There I said it - I'll deny it if you ever repeat it. I understand what you're saying, but I don't think trusting Angel is the issue here. Angel hasn't done anything wrong. If anything, it's the 'Powers' that you should be wary of. You were led into a false sense of security. You believed, as did everyone else that Angelus could never come back. That's not Angel's fault."

There was along moment of silence before Wesley spoke again.

"But how can I sleep at night not knowing if my lover will be the same man in the morning. How do I know I won't wake up to find Angelus in bed with me instead of Angel?"

"You don't. Life isn't full of guarantees, Wes. Hells, I dated an ex-demon who spent a millennia torturing men in ever new and creative ways. Do you think I never wondered what she would do to me if she got her powers back? But, I loved her. The risk was worth it. I guess the question is, is Angel worth the risk to you?"

Xander finished his coffee and waited while Wesley thought over what he had said. It was weird, sitting here defending Angel to his lover. Xander almost chuckled at the thought of the look on the vampires face when he heard that he was responsible for talking Wesley around.

The urge to laugh fell away quickly when he remembered the things that Angelus had said to Spike. Maybe they'd all be better off if he just staked the bastard. Spike would be safe, Wesley could get on with his life, no one would have to fear Angelus's return ever again. But the powers would lose their champion, and with his luck, they'd take Spike as Angel's replacement.

"Yes. He is."

Wesley’s voice broke Xander out of his contemplation. He grinned and then stood.

"Well, lets go see if we can't fix him then."

Wesley stood and followed Xander out of the cafe.