Complement

XXIX - Crown of Scars
(Part C)

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The Immortals cottage was exactly the same as the Slayers in structure, the only difference was most of the furniture and it was done in dark yellows, and browns.

"Why don't you two make yourselves comfortable while Lilith and I prepare dinner. Would you like something to drink? We have some nice sun-tea."

Faith couldn't help herself, "Are you going to make dinner like you cleaned up this morning?" She was rewarded by a poke in the side from Buffy.

Lilith who was too much like Faith for both their own good, answered her. "It's a distinct possibility; maybe you should put some music on just in case." To which she rewarded with a poke to her side from her mate. The two raven-haired women shared a smile.

"So then, did you want something to drink?" Clotho asked determined to get away from this particular conversation, still not believing what she had initiated, nay, done in the cottage this morning with the Slayers in the other room. Just thinking about it was making her flushed with desire all over again.

"That would be nice," Buffy said following the Immortals into the kitchen to get the drinks.
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When Buffy returned to the main room with the drinks, she found Faith sprawled out on the brown leather double recliner that was exactly like the one in their cottage. She was tapping her foot in time to the sultry blues that was coming out of the stereo a little louder then necessary.

"Just in case..." Faith told Buffy at her questioning look at the stereo.

Bufandeanded Faith her glass of sun-tea, which Faith promptly put down on the table next to her, she took Buffy's glass of sun-tea from her and it joined the other on the table. She reached out quickly and pulled Buffy down onto the recliner next to her, with a backwards press of her shoulders; the recliner went all the way back. They were for all intent and purposes lying down, with just a slight incline of the raised back of the chair. Faith leaned up supporting herself on one elbow and propped her head in her hand. She gazed at Buffy. Her hand glided over Buffy's collarbone to the other side and her thumb started lightly stroking Buffy's pulse point. She felt once again as Buffy gave all control over to her.

Buffy lay on her side, her head resting on her arm, her other arm resting against her side. She returned Faith's stare, she was listening to the internal bond they shared and what she felt sent her heart leaping with joy. All she felt coming from Faith was complete relaxation, love, a hint of desire and absolutely no fear. Faith's eyes were glowing a little green; they had an impish and slightly wicked glint to them. Then she felt the overwhelming need Faith had to kiss her in an extremely strong echo and she just held her breath waiting for the kiss.

Faith continued to gaze at Buffy, her hand trailing now over Buffy's neck and jaw line, feeling those odd shadow-like touches on her own skin. Deep in the recesses of her mind a need rose in her to eradicate the second-hand shadow-like touches Buffy had felt of Johnny's through her. The need was overwhelming Faith on a level that she wasn't even conscious of. A part of her maybe hoping if she could erase them from Buffy's skin then she would finally be able to begin to erase the ghost of his touches from hers too. The thoughts never rose up to the surface of her mind though; they were just an unconscious push, creating in her a need to kiss Buffy, to feel that soft mouth on her own. She hadn't felt this relaxed, this comfortable in such a long time and it just made her want to be even closer to Buffy.

Buffy's whole body tingled at the first touch of Faith's warm mouth on her own. Then Faith started kissing her so softly, so tenderly, but with so much passion in that soft kiss and tongue that came out to trace along her lips that Buffy was clutching desperately at her own jeans trying to keep her hand where it was. Her heart started beating franticly as Faith deepened the kiss, her tongue begging entrance, which Buffy gladly gave her. Then Faith began that slow erotic dance with her own tongue that she had started this morning. And with just the deepening of her kiss, Faith slowly eased Buffy onto her back.

Faith was drowning in the velvety softness of Buffy's mouth. She moved herself partially on top of Buffy, her one hand still tracing along Buffy's neck, her jawbone, up to the side of her face. Her leg moved naturally to slip between Buffy's, the lower half of her body snug up against Buffy's hip. She continued to make slow passionate love to Buffy's mouth with her own, with only one thought in mind, to please Buffy.

Every part of her was feeling the kiss; once again, Buffy found her hands had curled up into balls at her side. Tentatively she placed one hand on Faith's bicep, the need to touch Faith overwhelming her as Faith's kiss slowly drove her insane with desire. It was strange, exotic, sensual and a little frustrating giving up her control and being a follower rather than an active participant. It was a completely new experience for her. A part of her needed the reassurance from Faith that she still wanted her. And like Faith, the same thoughts were running around in the deep recesses of her mind: that Faith could eradicate the second-hand feel of Johnny upon her skin. She ran her hand up over Faith's shoulder when she felt only joy come from Faith at her touch, it found its way into Faith's hair ing ing tangled there.

Buffy's whole body started quivering as Faith slid her mouth away from hers to trail her tongue and her lips down her neck, then back up to her ear. Her breath warm against her skin as her teeth nipped at Buffy's sensitive neck. Faith was snaring her in a web of desire that was more seductive than anything Buffy had ever felt before and the echo she was getting from Faith was fueling its flame higher. She could feel Faith's own desire in the echo but it was secondary to her need to fuel Buffy's into a burning white-hot flame. Buffy couldn't stop the loud deep moan that came from her as Faith shifted to run her mouth along her throat and Faith's thigh pressed up into her. Her other hand came up to circle Faith's back, her fingers running random patterns over it.

Faith lifted her mouth from Buffy's throat at her loud moan. She felt Buffy's heat burning through her jeans into her thigh. She looked down at the beauty below her, Buffy's neck and face were flushed, her eyes when she slowly opened them were glazed over with passion and need. She knew Buffy wanted to pull her down into her, but despite what she wanted; Buffy was still letting her lead them and for that, Faith was grateful beyond words. She continued to gaze into Buffy's eyes, she wanted more, she needed more, but shew shw she wasn't ready to either give or receive more.

"I... I want to B... But... but... I'm not ready." Faith started to tremble with fear as she spoke each word. She was unable to stop it from holding her in its firm grip. She gazed down at the face below her and it was no longer just Buffy she was seeing. She waited for the anger, waited for the blows, waited to feel strong hands forcing her down onto her back, forcing her against her will. It was a knee jerk reaction, it was irrational, she knew that, but it had been ingrained into her psyche for nine years and then again over the last seven months. It would have been how Johnny would have reacted to her words, not how Buffy would ever react and even though she knew that, she still couldn't stop the fear.

Buffy hands stilled the second she felt the fear, heard it slipping into Faith's voice. She caught the images from Faith, and stamped down her own rage at that mother-fucking bastard before it even had a chance to rise up. She willed her desire, her arousal away, and just let her love for Faith flow out. She moved her hands carefully and slowly to rest upon Faith's forearms lightly. She felt Faith flinch anyway.

"Faith..." she whispered softly, watching Faith's eyes waiting for the slightly far-away look to leave her. "It's okay, Faith. It's just me...just me. We're not going to do anything you don't want to. I'm not mad Faith. I would never try to make you do anything you didn't want to do. I love you, Faith. I would never hurt you, ever."

Faith blinked rapidly, trying to focus her eyes again, she heard Buffy's words and felt them inside of her at the same time. Her vision started to clear and when she gazed down at the face below her it was only Buffy's she saw this time. The fear slowly started to recede, but she couldn't stop the trembling. She felt Buffy's hands motionless against her arms and remembered flinching from her gentle touch. Right now, more than anything she wanted to feel those strong safe arms around her. Silently she asked if Buffy would hold her through their bond, afraid to trust her own voice.

Buffy's arms came up around her, a soft sigh came from Buffy as she lowered herself down to let Buffy hold her, her own arms coming round to hold Buffy back. She drifted into that in-between place as Buffy softly whispered to her, her hands running soothingly over her back. Slowly, over time, her trembling stopped and she found her way back to the relaxed, comfortable place she had been in all day with her mate. Neither Slayer noticed that it had taken the Immortals over two hours to make dinner when they finally called to them from the kitchen that dinner was ready.
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They half carried, half leaned on each other as they made their way into the cottage. Faith was limping slightly her ankle hurting from where Johnny had nearly sliced completely through her tendons. Buffy was holding her left arm stiffly by her side; she thought it might be sprained. Faith had a few cuts on her face, and Buffy was going to have a nice shiner for a day or two. They stopped in the middle of the room when they caught their reflection in the mirror on the wall and they both burst out laughing.

"There we are in all our glory, the big bad Slayers!" Faith said pointing at them in the mirror. "The Chosen Two who just got their asses kicked by two of Mars' dwarves. During training no less."

"Well it's all your fault they kicked our butts, calling them Munchkins and then singing that dumb, We represent the Lollipop Guild, or whatever the hell the words are from that damn song from the Wizard of Oz..."

"How the hell was I supposed to know they would know that damn movie and be offended by it? Fuck, I always thought the Munchkins were cute, B." Faith grumbled out then she batted her eyes at Buffy flirtatiously, "You still love me don't ya, Gizmo?"

Buffy just giggled at her, she looked silly blinking her eyes like that, especially with her mascara down around her cheeks. "I'll love you a lot more if you go run the bath and turn the er oer on so we can rinse the dirt off first." Buffy threw Faith an air kiss, which Faith caught and ate.

"Okay, you going to get us something to drink? Maybe that sun-tea, Kiddo and Gran brought over the other day!" At Buffy's nod, Faith turned around and limped towards the bathroom. "Oh and don't forget the book!" She yelled over her shoulder and walked into the bathroom mumbling under her breath something about getting some flying monkeys to take out the dwarves.

Buffy made her way to the kitchen slowly; every muscle ached, but it was a good ache. They had been training three hours a day for the past eight days with Mars, Lilith, Clotho and some of Mars' Men-At-Arms, which included the dwarves. They had learned so much over the last few days they still hadn't processed it all and Mars was an excellent teacher, not to mention funny as all hell. She got the two glasses of sun-tea and then grabbed the book, On a Pale Horse off the table by the her her reading chairs.

The third night they were here, much too both Slayers' delight, they had discovered the series by Piers Anthony about the Incarnates on one of the bookshelves. Every night since then Buffy had been reading ioud oud to them in the bath they started to take together again every night. They were only on the first book that was about the Incarnate of Death, Zane, whom they had not yet had the pleasure of meeting. They were going to meet him at a little gathering at Lily's in three days. Lilith and Clotho both assured the Slayers that Zane would not be attending the gathering in an official capacity.

They both showered the dirt and sweat from themselves. Buffy couldn't help but stare like she always did seeing Faith without out any makeup on, she looked so unbelievably young and innocent. Faith sunk down into the tub first, groaning at the aches, stiffness in her muscles, she felt the massaging jets begin to work almost immediately. Buffy climbed in once Faith got comfortable. After a minute or two of grumbling and trying to find a way to snuggle into each other they finally settled down. Buffy, with her back resting against Faith's front, started to read.

Faith ran her fingers through Buffy's hair as she read and relaxed into the water and the warmth of her mate surrounding her. After listening to Buffy read for ten minutes or so, Faith noticed how tense and stiff Buffy's shoulders looked. She started gently to massage Buffy's neck and shoulders, her fingers working out the knots; she smiled softly at the slight tremors she felt running through Buffy. She kept up her massage until she felt all the tension drain out of Buffy.

She eased the pressure of her fingers on Buffy's skin and began a massage of a more sensual kind. She watched as the goose-bumps rose on Buffy's skin trailing after her fingers. She ran her fingertips down each side of Buffy's neck, letting them linger. Her thumbs pressing in a little more making small circles, before moving on to run her fingertips along Buffy's collarbone, over her shoulders, down the upper part of Buffy's arms and then begin to retrace their path. She fell into the sound of Buffy's voice while it grew throatier as her hands and fingers roamed as Buffy continued to read.

It took all of Buffy's strength of will to continue reading as Faith's hands moved over her skin. She had been living in a hazy state of desire, arousal, want, need, love for days now as Faith became mormformfortable touching her and being touched. Faith had been seducing her with gentle touches, with her laughter, soft tender kisses, passionate deep soul searching kisses, with just herself, for the last eight days and Buffy felt herself falling deeper in love with Faith every second she spent with her. Over the past week Faith had completely let her guard down, she had opened up to Buffy in a way that Buffy didn't think anyone ever in her life had, and in a way that she knew Faith never had to anyone ever, and Buffy did the same in return.

Six days ago, they had spent one whole day out by the lake talking and Faith had told her all about her childhood. It came out disjointed, not in order, but it all came out. All about her father who had left right before she had turned six. How her Mother had started to drink more everyday after he had left. The blame her Mother had placed on the frail six-year-old child's shoulders for her Father leaving. Faith didn't really remember him, she only had a few fragmented memories of him, his deep laugh, the way he smiled, his twinkling chocolate brown eyes that were just like her own. What she remembered the most, was feeling safe with him. She told Buffy how her Mother's words had hurt more than her blows and how she had grown up believing all the lies her Mother told her. How she had lived up to her Mother's expectations of her.

Then she told Buffy about when Johnny had first come into the picture eight months after her Father had left. How for that first year she had called him JJ because that was what he asked her to call him. He had protected her for the first year. From her Mother's vicious words and hands, and Faith had felt safe again for a little while. And her love for the angelic looking man she called JJ knew no bounds that first year. Then both her Mother and Johnny had turned from alcohol to drugs and everything had changed.

Johnny had continued to protect her sometimes from her Mother but he began to abuse her all on his own. At first, he had only hit her and then gradually over time his abuse had started to include that of a sexual nature. She had tried to tell her Mother but her Mother had once again put the blame on her shoulders, telling her she must have deserved it for Johnny to treat her that way. Told her to just shut up and take it like a good little girl. By the time she was twelve, both her Mother and Johnny had started trading her for the drugs their bodies were now addicted to. At some point Johnny had adopted her, so when her Mother had died from an overdose four months before Faith's sixteenth birthday, she had fallen under the sole care and guardianship of Johnny.

The hardest thing for Faith to talk about was the horror of the summer she had spent locked in the cage at the cabin for three months while the cops were out looking for her because Johnny had told them she had run away. She had thought she was going to die there that summer and might have if Johnny hadn't gotten careless and passed out before locking her in the cage one night.

She had grown up alone, terrified, blaming herself for all that had happened to her and even to her Mother. She believed she was nothing but a whore and evil, and had only one thing to offer to anyone, sex. She trusted no one but herself and couldn't remember ever knowing what it was like to be loved or not have her love rejected. She had closed herself off to everyone and made herself suppress almost all that had been done to her over the years. She lashed out before anyone could lash out at her and she had started running from the time she was sixteen and hadn't stopped until that night in the alley with Angel.

Buffy had held Faith for long hours that day, crying with her, raging with her, letting her know she was none of those things. Had never been, never would be. Letting her know she was no longer alone, never would be again, letting her know how loved she was. Since that day, Buffy had gotten to know who Faith really was, who she had always been beneath all the protective layers, the mask of indifference, the Bad Girl image, and Buffy didn't think she could love Faith anymore than she already did but with each passing second she spent with her she did.

"Hey... where'd you go?"

Buffy shook herself out of own thoughts, realizing she had stopped reading as she had thought back on that day by the lake. She turned so she was sitting sideways on Faith's lap, she wanted, needed to see her. She put the book down on the ledge of the tub and gently stroked the side of Faith's face, then just let her hand rest there. Loving the feel of Faith's warm skin beneath her hand, the way Faith leaned unconsciously into her touch. Suddenly she feared that this was all a dream and that they were in that place they had created for each other when they were stuck in Glory's domain.

Faith's arms went around Buffy immediately, pulling her tightly, closely to her the second she felt the fear. Buffy trembled in her arms and Faith could feel the fear overwhelming and taking control of her. "What's wrong? What's got you so scared B?"

"This is real. Right Faith? We're not dreaming this right? It's real. Please, tell me it's real!" Her voice was shaking; the tears started rolling down her face. 'Oh god please let it be real!' she thought to herself.

"Yes it's real. I'm real, you're real. We're not dreaming. I swear it's all real!" She knew where the fear was coming from now, she still had moments like this during her waking hours and in her nightmares. Buffy had been trying so hard to be strong for her that she had been suppressing her own fears and it was partially Faith's own fault. There was still so much they had yet to talk about, so much they still needed to say and Buffy had been waiting for her to talk, trying so hard not to push that she had been neglecting her own needs.

"B, look at me." She waited for Buffy to look at her, "It's real. We aren't there anymore. It was different when we were in that dream place we created for each other there. This is real. I swear to you. Feel me, feel my arms around you, feel my warmth."

Buffy ran her hands over Faith, feeling her warmth, the creamy texture of her skin. Felt her chest rise up and down underneath her hand with each breath. Could feel the gentle caress of each exhale on her own face. The panic and fear started to subsind snd she felt herself begin to relax again, feeling a little ashamed of herself for reacting like this.

"No, don't feel ashamed... You were hurt jus muc much as I was when we were there. This affected you as much as it did me. You need to talk about it as much as I do. I know you've been holding it all in because of me, because you've been trying to be strong for me. You don't have to be strong all the time, I want to be here for you too. Whatever you need from me, I am here ready to give it to you. Ready to listen, to help you in any way I can. I love you B, let me help you, let me be there for you too. Talk to me B; tell me what you're feeling."

Buffy lay her head down on Faith's shoulder, leaning into her strength and let it all out. Her fear of Johnny, of Glory. The fear she had lived in each day there that they would never get back home. Her hatred of them both, what they had done to her, to Faith. The rage she felt, the almost overwhelming need sometimes to take it out on something, anything. The helplessness she felt at being unable to protect, prevent any of what had been done to either of them. The way it had felt like her heart, her soul had been ripped out each time she had to watch what Johnny had done to Faith. Her feelings of having failed Faith once again.

The absolute terror she had felt when she thought Faith was going to die after they had finally gotten free of Glory and Johnny's abuse. How she could still remember living in pain every day for seven months. How it tore her up inside to feel what Johnny's abuse was doing to Faith. How she could still remember his touch upon her own skin from those shadow-like echoes from Faith. How she wanted, needed to erase those ghost touches of Johnny's that she knew Faith was still feeling. How she would never have survived there, survive even now without Faith. She spoke of her need for Faith, of her love.

Buffy continued to talk as Faith held onto her tightly, stroking her hair, her hands running soothingly over her hair, arms and back. As Faith whispered to her soothing, comforting words, of her need for her too, of her love. Buffy spoke until it all came out and she was exhausted. When sas das done a sort of cleansing feeling came over both of them.

Faith held Buffy until she fell asleep, then continued to hold her. She was beginning to feel whole again and she knew there were still things they needed to talk about. She was still finding it hard to find the words to tell Buffy about how Johnny's abuse made her feel inside. And the closer they had become, the more intimate sexually over the past week the more she needed to talk about it.

She carefully picked Buffy up trying not to wake her as she got out of the tub. She placed Buffy on the ledgee she she had all those weeks ago the first night they had spent at the Fates' home. She grabbed a towel and started to gently dry off the golden-haired Slayer who was leaning against her still sleeping. She wrapped Buffy in a dry towel and still sopping wet herself since she had been unable to figure out how to dry herself off without losing her hon Bun Buffy she carried her out to the bed.

She held her cradled in her arms like a newborn, and silently thanked whomever for the gift of the loving woman in her arms. She managed to pull the covers down without dropping Buffy. She gently lay her down on the bed, pulling the covers back up over her. She used the towel she had wrapped Buffy in to dry herself off and lit a fire. She crawled into bed, smiling softly when her mate curled up into her purring. Before she drifted off to sleep, her mate woke briefly to tell her that she loved her.
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Faith was training one-on-one with Mars, she was having a little trouble with the new moves he had taught both Slayers today. He had offered to help her after their regular training session was over if she wanted to stay. They were training at Mars' facility in the back of his cottage at the lake. His facility was at least five times the size as the barn at their cottage. She had been distracted all day, trying to find the words to talk to Buffy about Johnny. It had been in the back of her mind and it was only her strength of will that had kept the cold ghost-like touches of him at bay all day. Ever since that night in the tub when Buffy had finally talked to her about her own fears, her own feelings about the second hand touches, Faith had been finding it increasingly harder to keep everything buried. She was afraid again and he had been haunting all of her waking and sleeping hours since then. She needed to find the courage to talk about it, needed to get it all out.

After assuring Buffy that she would be fine here with Mars, Buffy had left with Clotho and Lilith. She was going back to the cottage to shower and then Faith was going to meet her at the Immortals for dinner. They had been trying to teach Buffy how to cook, well Lilith had. Clotho was just about useless in the kitchen. Faith was sorry she was going to miss the cooking lesson; Buffy always looked so cute when she was in the kitchen. browbrows squished together, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she tried to concentrate and understand what Lilith was trying to teach her. So far, in the past week, everything Buffy had tried to cook turned to ash. Both Slayers had to wonder if the ash thing wasn't some kind of Vampire Slayer thing, hell, even the Immortals were wondering that.

"Oh, little Grasshopper, pay attention and stop thinking about Gizmo!" Mars yelled a second before he threw a punch at Faith's head, which she blocked with graceful ease and speed that matched and surprised Mars. They had become incredibly strong and fast since they had merged with the mystical energy that made them Slayers. Neither of them was used to it yet and it had made them clumsy both in how they moved and reacted, often overshooting their targets and tripping over their own two feet. It was a lot like being a two-year-old who was just learning how to walk. They both were improving quickly with the help of Mars, Clotho and Lilith. Faith kept referring to it as, like learning to ride a bike it was something you never forget how to do.

"Very good, Grasshopper!"

"Fuck you Candy-Man!" Faith threw counter punches, followed by a leg sweep. Mars easily avoided both the punches and the leg sweep.

Mars and Faith began to trade blows and kicks. Falling into an easy but fast-paced rhythm, both were graceful in their own way, both in touch with the predator inside of them. In its own way, it looked like they were performing some kind of beautiful, sensual ballet as they circled each other, trading blows, blocking, kicking and performing tumbles and jumps.

As they continued to train, Faith saw someone enter Mars' training room out of the corner of her eye. She moved to circle around Mars to see who had entered and because she didn't want to have her back to an unknown. Mars had pulled sneak attacks more then once on them. She couldn't really see who the person was, the sun was shining in too brightly around him and all she cosee see was a yellow glow around him and that he was big, at least six-feet. He moved a little more inside and Faith got her first glimpse of his shadowy face and felt her blood start to turn cold. She automatically blocked her and Buffy's connection. She continued to block Mars' blows and kicks on autopilot as she felt the familiar cold start to creep along her skin.

'Dead he's dead!' she kept repeating to herself.

Her breathing became a little erratic and the fear started to flow through her, she could taste it strong, bitter, remembered in the back of heroat.oat. The man stepped a little further into the room, out of the shadows just a bit and she saw the pitch-black hair first. Her stomach started churning. Then he smiled and she saw white teeth surrounded by a thin mouth and she felt the panic start to overtake her.

Mars' flying roundhouse caught her at full strength, dead on, right between her abdomen and chest, lifting her off her feet and sending her flying a good ten feet or more. She hit the ground hard, her breath lodged in herst, st, the fear in the back of her throat choking her. Pain radiated up from her stomach and chest.

"What the FUCK?!!?" Mars snarled pissed, there was no way she should have missed blocking that kick. "Faith for Christ's sake I could have really hurt you. You fucking have to pay attention! Stop daydreaming about Buffy! FAITH!" He yelled even louder, pissed at himself for not realizing her head wasn't in the game, and pissed at her for his almost seriously hurting her.

Faith wasn't hearing him, all she heard was the anger, the rage in his voice. Her eyes were glued to the man by the door as he stepped a little further out of the shadows and then the panic, fear grabbed her in a strangle hold. Piercing gray eyes glowed at her, the man with the face of an angel who had haunted her real life and her nightmares for years stepped out of the shadows looking like he did the year she had turned seven.

The waking nightmare ensnared her completely within its grasp and she no longer saw Mars, instead she saw one of Johnny's perverted friends and in the shadows the man who had been the star of all her nightmares for thirteen-years.

She felt the cold ghost touches of him on her skin and knew if she didn't get out of here that she would be feeling them for real again. She started scrambling backwards trying to get up, get away from him and, oh god, he had another friend with him in the shadows. Her back hit the wall of the training room her eyes wild, she had to get away!

"Faith," Mars said softly as he cautiously approached the frightened Slayer. What the hell had happened? She was terrified. His Man-At-Arms, Lee, came and stood next to him. Mars cautioned him to stay where he was. He took a hesitant step forward and tried again, "Faith?"

Her eyes flickered madly back and forth between Johnny and his friend. She was trembling so hard she was afraid her legs would collapse out from under her. She felt dizzy and couldn't catch her breath. If she did what they wanted, it wouldn't hurt so much and maybe, just maybe, Johnny wouldn't hurt her afterwards or hurt B. Where was B? What had they done to B? She had to find B! Had to make sure she was safe! She opened the connection between her and Buffy just enough to reach out to her. Relief rushed through her when she felt that Buffy was safe and then she locked down the connection again. She slid her back along the wall watching them watch her, her hand felt something. She glanced down, a Claymore! She grabbed up the sword and rushed the man closest to her, ready to kill him if necessary.

She was a blur as she came towards him and before Mars even had a chance to react, she swung and sliced through his abdomen from left to right, the sword sinking in at least a good inch. Her arm started to come back around to slice him again this time aiming for his throat, as he fell to his knees in pain and shock. She never finished her swing as Lee tackled her from the side.

They went down in a tangle of arms and legs, the sword flying from her hand. She started flailing violently as she felt Johnny's weight come down on top of her. She connected with one hard punch to his jaw and then both of her hands were captured and held up over her head. Her skin started to crawl when she felt his warmth pressing down on her and his cold ghost-like touches running riot over her body.

"Please don't... please Johnny... PLEASE!" She pleaded with him as she continued to struggle to get loose.

Mars felt like he had been struck in the head with a two-by-four when he finally realized what the hell was going on. He painfully got back up to his feet. He had seen that look in too many women's eyes over the eons in the villages and the towns that had been invaded. And whoever this fucking scumbag Johnny was, he better hide because when Mars got his hands on him he was going to peel his skin from him inch by inch and that would just be to start. NO ONE EVER TOUCHED ONE OF HIS FAMILY! EVER!

"Get off her Lee! NOW!" When Lee was too slow to act, he grabbed the back of Lee's shirt and hauled him off Faith.

Faith got out from under Johnny before his friend had even finished pulling him off her. She didn't know why he was helping her, she didn't care, she just had to escape. She took off running, hearing the friend calling to her to stop. Sheldn\ldn't, she didn't know what game Johnny and his friend were playing but she knew whatever it was she was the one who would lose. She would be the one who got held down and hurt and she didn't want to play.

In the blink of an eye, Mars went into full warrior mode. The pain was forgotten, it wasn't even a dull ache and he took off running after Faith. He ch her her across his property, through the surrounding woods out into the spell-free space that was between all the cottages. She was still a good ten feet in front of him, when she headed into the woods again and he kept chasing her until he ran full force right into the magical barrier that protected the cottage the Slayers were staying in.

"FAITH!" He yelled! Buffy! He needed to find Buffy! "BUFFY!" He heard the answer and Mars faded himself to Clotho ailitilith's cottage.
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"What's up Mars, what did Fai..." Buffy trailed off as she turned around when she felt, heard Mars fade into the kitchen behind them. They had all been staring at another of her 'ash' cakes. He was covered in blood and she could see the gash that ran from side to side across his stomach. "What hap... Are you... WHERE'S FAITH?"

"Took off. She panicked, I don't know what happened. Who the fuck is Johnny?" Mars wasn't sure he had made sense.

"Johnny. Oh my God! Johnny was there! Johnny's dead he can't he..." Buffy felt her own panic overtake her. She reached out to Faith through their connection and all she felt was silence. Faith was blocking her!

"Mars where did Faith go? Is she hurt?" Clotho put a calming hand on Buffy's shoulder, as did Lilith.

"Not hurt. She ran into the property for their cottage, I couldn't follow because of that fucking spell."

"How the hell... I'm... it's too big... I've got to find her now... She's blocking me... Clotho help me please." Buffy turned pleading eyes to the Incarnate.

"We can't use our magic like that. But you can find her using your bond."

"I just told you she was fucking blocking me." Buffy snarled at Clotho, then immediately felt bad. "I'm sor..."

"No don't apologize, I understand. You can find her using the part of your bond that neither of you can ever block. Atropos told you about that. First you to to calm down and listen to me."

Buffy nodded her head; she closed her eyes for the briefest of seconds and found her center, calming her mind, knowing she would be unable to help Faith if she was in a panic. When she was calm, she looked to Clotho.

"First..." Clotho began to instruct her, teaching her the method that Atropos had used to find Luc in Glory's domain.
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Faith ran blindly. These woods weren't familiar and she could hear Johnny's friend hot on her heels, could practically feel his breath on the back of her neck. Where was she? She hadn't been at the cabin. Was this a new game of Johnny and Glory's, her Mother's? Or had it only just been Johnny's game all along, had any of it ever been real or had she always been a prisoner? Where was she? Her feet seemed to know where they wanted to go. She kept running until she saw a cottage, she headed towards it maybe someone there could help her. She burst through the front door.

She skidded to a halt on the hardwood floor as the room came into focus and reality crashed into her, knocking her to her knees.

'OH GOD! OHGOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE? OHGOD! MARS! OHGODOHGODOHGOD!'

It all slammed into her with tremendous force, all of it, all at once. All the suppressed emotions, all the things she thought she had been feeling and more, things she didn't even want to admit to herself. Then she felt it start to crawl under her skin, felt the coldness cross her skin and then it was like he was really there surrounding her in his cold embrace.

She had to shower! Had to get it off! Make it go away! She frantically started tearing at her clothes, shredding, ripping her shirt, her bra in an effort to get out of them. She got up and pulled at her jeans, popping the buttons, ripping each leg down the seams. She tore the laces right off her boots, the need to shower overwhelmed her. She ran for the bathroom, she yanked open the shower door and turned all eight jets on full scalding hot. She climbed into the shower not even noticing the boiling water, grabbed the rough coral sponge from the soap dish, the soap and began to scrub herself without mercy.
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Buffy blinked once or twice bringing the main room of the cottage into focus. The second she had found Faith through their Soul Thread which Clotho had told her it was called, Clotho faded her here. Fear and panic collided with each other as she saw Faith's torn and shredded clothes on the floor.

"FAITH!............... FAITH!" The sound of the shower running finally came to her through the roaring panic in her ears. She ran into the bathroom and her heart broke at the sight that greeted her.

Faith was huddled in the middle of the shower on the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around them, her head resting on them as she rocked and cried. The hard pulse of the eight showerheads beat a cruel tempo down on her back, burning her with the scalding hot water. Her skin was bright red, blistered; she had cuts from the coral sponge from scrubbing herself with such punishing force over every part of her that Buffy could see. And she didn't want to think it, but Buffy thought that Faith might have also tried to claw away her own skin.

Buffy practically tore the shower door off its hinges to get to Faith. She stepped into the shower and didn't even notice the boiling hot water as it burned her. She squatted down to pick Faith up, but Faith pushed herself backwards and away from her reaching hands.

"Don't... don't touch me... I'm... I'm... not clean... I can't..." Faith couldn't finish what she wanted to say as the sobs wracked her body, she felt herself shattering, falling apart at the seams.

"Ssh baby... You're not dirty." Buffy reached out and quickly picked up Faith, wincing with her when Faith flinched as her shirt rubbed across her blistered skin.

Faith wrapped her arms around Buffy's neck and buried her head there as she continued to cry. She sat Faith down on the ledge of the tub. She grabbed a towel and as gently as possibly began to dry her off. She looked at the shelf with all the toiletries and gave a little sigh when she saw burn cream.

"Faith... baby I'm going to put this on you... I... ah... it might hurt..."

"It's okay B... I'm okay no You You don't have to..." She tried to make her voice calm, but she wasn't calm, inside she was a mess and she didn't want to dump this all on Buffy. But she desperately needed to talk and Buffy was the only one she wanted to talk to. Deep down she was afraid, her old insecurities had her in their thrall.

"Yes, I do. Even with your Slayer healing this will help more... That didn't make sense... And you're not okay... If you were you wouldn't be blocking me like you are." She started applying the cream as she talked. "You told me the other night I didn't have to be strong all the time. You don't have to be either. I want to be here for you too. Let me help you Faith. You need to talk about this and now. If you want to talk to someone else about it that's fine, but you need to get it out now. You were raped Faith, not once, not twice, but for nine years when you were a kid and then again for seven months when those fucking deranged lunatics held us. You needtalktalk about it." Buffy reached up and grabbed the black silk robe off the wall and helped Faith put it on. She picked her up once again. "And I know it's not going to be easy but I am not going to stand idly by anymore and watch you tear yourself up inside nor hurt yourself like you did tonight. Faith, please baby either talk to me or tell me who you want to talk to. Please."

She put Faith in the recliner and covered her with a blanket. She lit a fire, then changed quickly into dry sweatpants and a t-shirt. She stood hovering by the recliner unsure what to do next.

Faith was in turmoil. She wanted to talk, needed to. She looked up into Buffy's concerned, caring, love-filled eyes and felt the dam inside of her break. She held out her hand to Buffy, silently asking her to join her on the recliner. Buffy climbed onto the recliner and covered them both with the blanket. Faith curled up into and onto Buffy, tucking her head under Buffy's chin.

She lay there for a long minutes listening to the sound of Buffy's strong heartbeat under her ear. Letting herself be surrounded and blanketed in Buffy's love for her. She tried to make sense of her own jumbled thoughts and then gave up the fight.

She started to whisper to Buffy about Joh Johnny, her Mother, and the others had done to her, how it, they made her feel. What it did inside to her soul, how it made her feel dirty. Made her want to claw away, scrub away the dirt from under her skin, until only muscle and bone was left, until every piece of her that they, that he had touched was sucked down the drain with the dirty bath water. It was the parts on the inside that he, that they corrupted with their, his touches that made her skin itch nonstop, that didn't wash away in the drain that kept her awake at night afraid to sleep because she knew she would just relive it all in her nightmares. Things that couldn't be washed away with soup and water, things that scarred her soul, scars that she would carry with her forever. The feelings which would have destroyed her completely over the last days, weeks, months, and especially when they were still being held captive there if it hadn't have been for Buffy.

If it hadn't been for Buffy who cried with her, bathed her when she was too weak to stand. Who by the simple act of holding her in her arms, gently stroking her hair made her feel clean. Whose strong arms and loving touch washed away, obliterated his touch for the time that she was in them. She told Buffy how she had been blocking her from knowing that the only time she ever felt clean now was when she was in her arms. Even that though wasn't enough because deep inside again she felt like she was the dirty-disgusting-little-whore, that her mother and he had called her for years, and he had forced her to become again.

She had done things over the time they had been there to stop him from hurting Buffy more when Buffy had been unconscious. She was afraid if she told her whae hae had done without being forced that Buffy would stop loving her. She had been afraid to talk about it because she had convinced herself that now there was no more threat of the pain of him hurting either of them that Buffy would see those things she had done for what they were. Things that filled her once again with self-loathing, self-disgust, all consuming shame, and self-hate. Because she had done them of her own free will.

She told Buffy how, even now despite everything that had happened, she still wanted Buffy. Wanted to touch her, be with her, kiss her, make love with her. Wanted Buffy to touch her, make love with her and didn't that just make her a whore after all? But she was afraid because she could still feel him on her skin, feel his cold touch and there were times when it made her freeze up, frightened her. She was afraid to have Buffy touch her, she didn't want Buffy to think she was rejecting her, when it was not her but him, them she was feeling. How, sometimes, just the thought alone of anyone touching her made her skin crawl and stomach churn. Told Buffy of her overwhelming need to remove his second-hand touch from Buffy, how she felt if she could remove it from Buffy's skin that she might be able to begin to remove it from her own. She told Buffy of her unequivocal love for her, her need for her, her want, how she was her everything and then she fell silent, with a vengeance she squashed down the knee-jerk reaction of expecting to be rejected after all she said.

Buffy was silent for a second, her tears choking her. She was unsure of what to say, what could she say, she wished and instead she too just let her guard down and just spoke from her heart.

"Faith..." Buffy gently tipped Faith's face up towards her so she could look at her. "I wish I had magical words that could take all this away from you. Wish I knew the right thing to say. I don't know if I could have survived what you did for all those years, and then again. You are the strongest person I've ever known. You have nothing to feel dirty about and I know that sounds lame and I know saying it isn't going to make it just magically go away. You nothnothing wrong, you never did. You saicediced yourself first for a Mother who didn't deserve it and then for me. And don't ever think for a second that you did any of it of your own free will, you were forced with either fists or threats. And you have nothing to feel ashamed of. I feel honored to know you, I admire your strength, you survived, you beat them all. And I am awed that it's me that you love, want to be with. I love you more than I can ever tell or show you." Buffy paused for a second catching her breath.

"Nothing you've done, nothing you could ever do or tell me will ever change that. And you have no reason to feel that way about yourself because you still want to make love. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way. I want to make love with you again when you are ready and I don't care how long it takes, a day, a week, years it doesn't matter... And even if we never make love again I don't care, with you, by your side is where I want to spend my life. The first time I woke you up by making love to you while you were asleep I got embarrassed. Do you remember?"

A slight smile found its way out as Faith looked at Buffy, "Yeah B, I remember."

"You told me," and Buffy closed her eyes and let herself remember the words Faith had said to her. Then she did a pretty good imitation of Faith's husky voice. "This isn't about 'Getting some, and getting gone', or who gets off the most or first. It's about us being together, about what we feel when we are together, how we make each other feel. Just a look from you is all I need, you make me feel things I never even dreamed were possible. Even if we never made love again, just being able to hold you every night would be enough for me for the rest of my life. And Faith, just like you told me, and I believed you, I am telling you the same thing, using your own words. Those same things hold true for me too. Just being with you, however you want us to be is all I'll ever need. I love you and that's not going to change."

"I love you Elizabeth Anne 'B Gizmo' Summers."

"I love you Faith 'Grasshopper' Liam."

They curled into each other and lay listening to the other purring. All the ghosts weren't laid to rest that night but they were all out in the open and they knew that together they could defeat them.
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...Now you fly away ~ And you don't look down ~ And you laugh till you can't laugh any longer ~ As you watch your chains fall to the ground ~ I know you laugh ~ And show tears ~ Smile down at your fears ~ From where you are ~ From way up here ~ You know nothing's ever looked so good ~ Nothing ever looked so good ~ But now you dance the rest of the way ~ You don't look back ~ Can you hear that angel singing ~ As you rise ~ Now you fly away ~ And you don't look down ~ And you laugh till you can't laugh any longer ~ As you watch your chains fall to the ground – Lifehouse
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Continued in Chapter XXX – I Knew I Loved You