Complement
folder
BtVS AU/AR › FemmeSlash - Female/Female › Buffy/Faith
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
68
Views:
5,008
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
BtVS AU/AR › FemmeSlash - Female/Female › Buffy/Faith
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
68
Views:
5,008
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
XXVIII - Body and Soul (Part B)
XXVIII – Body and Soul
(Part B)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To say the Joining ceremony was beautiful was an understatement. Luc and Atropos exchanged the same vows they had exchanged in the garden of the Mansion. They stood under the trellis with the hanging ivy and honeysuckle, surrounded by orchids, roses of every variety, lilies and other exotic flowers that those from the domain known as Earth had never seen before. The smell of lilac and jasmine, mixed with the musky scent of roses. Both Slayers silently decided that if, no when, they married each other that here was where they would want the ceremony to take place.
The ceremony was officially presided over by oddly enough a beautiful earthy woman named Lily. Who in the lore of the gods and Incarnates was known by the names, The Green Mother and Mother Nature. Her hair was the color of burnt chestnuts; she had a wide generous mouth and laugh lines on her face. Her eyes were round and dark, dark, umber and fringed by obscenely long, thick, pitch-black eyelashes. Her nose long and thin and on any other person would have probably given the face a pinched almost mean look. She had a matching set of dimples on either cheek. Her skin was the color of the earth a vibrant russet-broTherThere was an aura of natural, earthy, sensuality about her. She was petite with a lithe body, maybe an inch shorter then Buffy and didn't look a day over nineteen.
If Lily exuded down to earth sensuality then the woman sitting across the aisle from Faith, Buffy, Willow and Tara exuded pure, raw, burning, sensuality. The only one among them that could have given her a run for her money was Faith and even Faith thought it would be a short run. The woman who the four found out later was Lilith, bespoke of dark, smoldering passions. Her hair was thick, midnight black and hung down to almost her waist in waves. Her skin tone was olive, and looked satiny, silky, and creamy all at once. Her black thin, winged eyebrows sat over piercing slanted violet eyes, and her eyelashes put Lily's to shame. Her cheekbones were high, narrow and had a decidedly chiseled look about them. She had a full mouth, the bottom lip jutted out slightly, tempting both men and women alike to catch it between their teeth and suckle upon it. She was tall, at least five-feet-eleven, soft, curvy but not overly so, her legs long, her waist small, her breasts high, proud.
She was the exact opposite of her lover Clotho, who was as light as Lilith was dark. With pure white hair, fine and long, which she always wore braided. Thin white eyebrows arched over her piercing cerulean eyes, a thin fine sculpted nose. Her mouth while not as generous as her lover's was ruby red adding color to her otherwise pale complexion. She stood only five-seven and where her lover was soft and sensual, Clotho was lean, ripped, and taunt. Clotho and Lilith were in essence the Chosen Two of the Immortals, because unlike Clotho, Lilith was not an Incarnate, but she was like Clotho an Immortal.
After the ceremony, Clotho joined the Slayers and the Wicca's. She brought both Lilith and a man with her, who could only be described as an undiluted version of an ancient Spartan. He was a pure warrior through and through, just looking at him you could see he was definitely in touch with the primal predator that lived within.
"Willow, Tara, Faith, Buffy, this is Lilith, my Chosen and Mars the Incarnate of War." Clotho smiled at their surprised expressions and both she and Buffy watched as one raven-haired beauty, checked out the other raven-haired beauty.
Luc and Atropome ome over and joined them, smiling at the surprised looks on their guest's faces. They exchanged looks; their guests were in for a few more surprises, all good needless to say, before the day was over.
"Wow... Oh wow... this is like... Lilith I know that from somewhere, why do I know that? Wow... thislikelike those Piers Anthony books about the Incarnates that I read. You all are almost exactly like his 'Incarnates'. In fact, there was even a Lilith in the books... Unbelievable! Tara are you sure we aren't dreaming? Wouldn't Piers Anthony be surprised if he knew..." Willow trailed off when she noticed that Luc suddenly found his perfectly manicured nails extremely interesting and Mars was busy watching one of his shiny boots polish itself against the back of the calf of his other leg.
"Honey..." Tara said looking at Luc, mischief sparkling in her eyes. "I think there might be a reason for the similarities to the real Incarnates to the Incarnates in Piers Anthony's series. Isn't that right Luc, Mars?"
"Well... um..." Luc paused and looked at his smiling wife. Wife! Damn that sounded good! "It was all Mars's fault."
"Was not..."
"Was too..."
"Was not... You're the one that wanted to go out in their realm that night, not me."
"Yes, but if I recall, Mars, it was your idea to start drinking shots of tequila, not mine! And certainly not for, four damn days straight. Nor was it my idea to start telling the young man next to us tales of your glorious battles!"
"Well how the hell was I supposed to know he was going to be a famous author some day?"
"Well it wouldn't have been so bad if you didn't start telling tales about the rest of us as well..."
"Yeah and you made it worse when you started telling..."
Mars and Luc kept telling their tale in their own bantering way of meeting a young man, whom both had found amusing while they were out on a four-day drinking binge. The young man had amused both Incarnates so much that they had dragged him along with them on their bender. They all listened amused to the tale, all except Faith and Lilith who were sizing each other up.
'Damn she's hot! Sexy, sultry, steaming! Shit!' Both Faith and Lilith thought to themselves as they checked out the other.
Neither the Slayer nor the Immortal would have been surprised that their thoughts were almost exactly the same. Both saw a sexy woman standing in front of them that was so in love with their mate, that Venus the Goddess of Love could be standing in front of them and both would have thought she couldn't hold a candle to their respective mate. Lilith and Faith were a lot alike in both their temperaments and the wild streaks that had gotten them in so much trouble, the good kind of trouble, not the bad kind. Each had a slightly wicked sense of humor. Both exuded a raw, primal sensuality. Both woman's Bad Girl, Sex-bomb image hid a gentle heart, a fierce loyalty to those they loved, and once they found their mates, a monogamous nature. When they mated, they mated for life. Though, neither would ever admit any of it publicly. And both still had a hard time believing that their blond counterparts had picked them for their mates. They saw in each other a kindred spirit and someone they could call friend. They felt instantly comfortable around each other, a new experience for both of them. They each were already plotting what kind of new experience, trouble they could drag their respective mate's into.
'I'm gonna have some wicked fun hangin' out with her! Bet she knows where to get the best leather from too! Thinking we're a lot alike and both of us are whipped by the blond goddesses standing next to us!'
Buffy watched as Lilith and Faith exchanged knowing smiles. She felt a flash of jealousy shoot through her and she had only caught the first part of Faith's thoughts in an echo because as the Green-Eyed-Monster reared its ugly head in her brain it had started tap dancing in it.
Faith heard the low hiss a second before she got an elbow in the side, then Buffy pulled her slightly away from the crowd that had gathered to listen to the rest of Mars and Luc's tale. "What was that for?"
"Echoes Faith, remember... I saw what you were thinking about her..." Buffy mumbled low for Faith's slayer hearing only.
"What B... she is hot..." Faith felt rather than saw the insecurity and jealousy rush through Buffy, and immediately regretted her words, which had come out totally wrong and harsh. She had a feeling Buffy hadn't gotten all of it in the echo, otherwise she would have known that there was nothing to feel insecure or jealous about. She took Buffy's hand into hers, "B..." She waited for Buffy to look up and when she didn't Faith gently took a hold of her chin and turned her face up towards her. "B... Buffy she doesn't even come close to you... couldn't even on her best day. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, known, know. I love you and I'm stgonngonna think you are the most beautiful woman in the world when you're old and gray and all your teeth have fallen out. You know why?" Buffy just shook her head no, her eyes large, trying to see the truth in Faith's.
"It's like this really smart woman told me once." Faith closed her eyes for just one second and thought back to the night that Buffy had made, or rather bought, them dinner at the Mansion. The same night that she and Buffy had truly made love for the first time and from memory, she repeated back to Buffy the words Buffy had spoken to her that night, "You are beautiful. I don't just mean on the outside. You are beautiful where it truly counts. Here..." Faith placed her hand over Buffy's heart. "Don't let anyone, not yourself, not me, ever tell you any differently." Then she added her own words, "The beauty that is you shines so bright from inside of you. There is nowhere else I ever want to be but with you in that light. I love you B and no matter what happens I will always love you. I will love you for all eternity..." With that said Faith turned beat red, the blush crept up her neck and over her face. As ridiculous as it was after all they had been through together, all the things they still had to work through, Faith suddenly felt extremely shy.
Buffy wondered if anyone had noticed that she had melted into a puddle on the ground. For once it was Buffy who said to Faith, "You don't play fair, you know that Faith." Faith just gave her that lopsided grin she loved so much and it took every ounce of Buffy's willpower not to pull a Cave-Buffy and throw Faith over her shoulder and take her somewhere and make love with her until they both passed out. The primal part of her was jumping up in down in ecstasy just at the thought alone.
"What can I say B... You taught me well."
"And I so will never have gray hair or lose my teeth Faith." She peeked up at Faith through her lashes, "But it's good to know you'll love me anyway, because I love you too." This time it was Buffy who blushed.
Faith took Buffy's hand and led her back to the group; she squeezed Buffy's hand and jerked her head in the direction of Lilith and Clotho. Seems she wasn't the only one who got misread. "Blondes..." Faith mumbled, chuckling under her breath and thinking, 'Oh we are so whipped. Yup whipped here and damn proud of it too!'
"Hey... Slayer hearing here."
"I didn't mean you B... 'cause you know you're not rea..."
"Faith!"
'Smart much Faith?!? Dig that there hole just a little bit deeper why don't you? Insert foot in mouth here with a big old arrow pointing right at my big old mouth!'
So Faith did the only thing she could think of to bail herself out, she kissed Buffy. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lilith grab Clotho and kiss her.
Wicked fun we are all going to have hanging out together...oh yeah, this is good... B....B...B,B,B...'
That was the last coherent thought Faith had for the next few minutes, in fact pretty much all four of them ceased to think at all for the next few minutes especially since feeling was oh so much better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rest of the afternoon and early evening was wonderful. All of the Earth domain contingency spent most of the day wondering if they were dreaming, or on some type of fantasy trip as they met one mythical being after another. Why they were so amazed, considering there were two Slayers, a mystical Key, four Wicca's, and two Vampires with souls amongst their numbers had even them shaking their heads in wonder.
During the ceremony, it hadn't escaped either Faith or Buffy's notice that Dawn had spent most of her time, sneaking glances at the sandy-haired young man sitting next to Lachesis. Nor did it escape either Slayers notice that he too was sneaking glances at Dawn. Much to Dawn's delight and the Slayers terror at the thought that Dawn had discovered boys, the young man made his way over to Dawn, and whisked her away before either of the Slayers could stop them.
When they couldn't find them, Faith had cornered Lachesis and demanded to know who the boy was and where the hell he had taken her sister! Lachesis had merely told her not to worry that Dawn was quite safe with Crow and they were hanging out with the other young people. It wasn't until after Luc and Mars or Candy-man, which Faith had nicknamed the Incarnate of War and actually had the balls to call him to his face, finished telling their tale, that Dawn and Crow had reappeared. She dragged the young man over to meet her sisters and the Wicca's.
"Crow, this is Willow and her girlfriend Tara, and Buffy, my sister and her soul-mate Faith, my sister if not by blood then by the heart. Everyone this is Crow. Although I believe that Willow and Tara sort of met you before."
All four young women gave the boy the once over. He appeared to be between sixteen and seventeen. He had shoulder length sandy-brown hair. His face was strong and masculine, his eyes the lightest hazel-green any of them had ever seen, they seemed to dance with life and laughter. He was tall, at least six feet, and had the lean, toned body of youth. All of them got the impression that he was someone who liked to laugh and for some odd reason while he might have a wild streak, which they could all see in his eyes, they also got the impression he was someone who was loyal and responsible.
"Pleased to meet you all." His voice was low, deep and seemed to rumble out of his chest. He also sounded much older then he looked.
"What!" Both Slayers yelled at Willow and Tara, when they saw the impish glint in both Crow and Dawn's eyes and the two Wicca's mouths drop open. "What!" They yelled again.
"Oh... Did I forget to tell you that Crow is a nickname... His real name is..."
"Oh my goddess! You're Father Time!!! No way... so no way... you're all youngie and a kid... and young..."
"I am afraid it is true, little tree..." To which Crow, Dawn and Tara all giggled while Willow kept on sputtering, and the Slayers kept on yelling, "What the hell is going on?!?"
"He's Chronos. Like in Father Time!" Willow squeaked at the Slayers, "He's an Incarnate like the others. Hey, you're supposed to be old! Real old, white hair, long beard kinda old!"
"How old are you?" Both Slayers asked together, more like snarled together. Buffy thinking to herself she sure as hell didn't want her sister dating someone centuries old; completely letting herself forget that her first love when she was seventeen was over two-hundred-years old and a souled vampire to boot.
"I'll be seventeen in three months." He smiled at them showing strong, white teeth.
"Is that seventeen in mortal years or in Incarnate years?" Buffy was still snarling, she couldn't help it. And damn if she just didn't get a flash echo of Faith thinking how cute she looked when she snarled. She filed that information away for another time.
"It is seventeen in your mortal earth years. I grew up with a Mother, a Father, a brother and a sister on Earth. Up until three months ago Earth time, my Father was Father Time. He retired and I, so to speak, took over the family business, just as mine an... a... my oldest son will some day."
Tara looked speculatively at Crow. He had almost said something else, then she remembered what he had said to Willow the day they had left to go rescue the Slayers:
**
It doesn't work that way, little tree...I don't have the power to change what happens, I can only set the clock back... besides I already know I didn't do that so it is not an option...
**
He had known ahead of time something he had done, or rather had not done in the future. Tara looked between Dawn and Crow; she had a sneaky suspicion of exactly what he almost said. She looked at the two snarling Slayers, saw the concern on their faces, and smiled; they were acting like any other parent would with a teenaged daughter who had just discovered boys. She decided to keep her suspicions to herself, because despite what Crow knew or didn't know, Tara knew that the future was not written in stone, the Fates had proven that.
She turned her attention away from her internal musing and listened instead with amusement as the Chosen Two played twenty-questions with Crow. He caught her eyes with his and gave her a slight nod in silent thanks. He continued to answer all of their questions, including Willow's, whose questions started leading in the direction of parallel time-lines and realities. Tara wanted to ask him about the spell as well, because both Willow and she had discussed afterwards how the spell had seemed to be tailor-made for them, but she didn't want to bring up that or Glory in front of either the Slayers or Dawn.
Crow was polite, very patience, funny, cute, and showed a keen intelligence as he answered their questions. Tara's generous heart warmed to him almost immediately. She sighed in relief with both he and Dawn when Mars, Lilith and Clotho came and almost physically dragged away not just the Slayers, but Willow and herself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They were leaning up against the bar laughing hysterically at another of Mars outrageous battle tales. Luc and Atropos had stolen away to an unknown destination to start their honeymoon. After all the other Joining guests had left, Mars had faded them all to his home. No one was surprised to see that he had a room that for all intent and purposes was a bar in his house.
It jus just the Earth contingency, Mars, Lilith, Clotho, Lily, Lachesis, and Crow left. Dawn and Crow were off in Mars's arcade room, playing games, he had pinball machines, a mechanical bronco, a freestanding basketball machine, a pool table, and a Playstation hooked up to the biggest wide screen TV Faith had ever seen and every single game ever made for it. She couldn't wait to play a game on that screen. Angel had disappeared a while ago to who knows where. Buffy and Cordy had gone off to find a bathroom and Faith hadn't seen either of them in a while. Everyone else was standing around the bar.
"Canby-mlan hats about as trufe as my laying, um... slay...in in the newd..." Faith shook her head a little harder than she wanted, her hair whipped around and almost took out one of Mars's eyes. Maybe she shouldn't have had that last shot of tequila or the one before that or the one before that or... But she liked Jose', she just hoped he liked her in the morning. "Juner u see Bleeee any plates?"
Spike looked at Faith; he closed one eye and squinted at her with the other. "Hats fetter. Only... floor of u now." Spike liked it here, more than he would ever admit. He and Angel could walk in the sun without spontaneously combusting. They had no need for blood and they could eat and drink without getting sick from the food. He felt warm inside and out for the first time since he had been turned, he had forgotten how wonderful it felt. None of them knew, well maybe the Slayers did, how much bloody alcohol it took for him to get this drunk. Here, however, it obviously didn't take quite as much, he wished someone would have told him that. Ah who cared, 'cause he bloody well liked it here anyway and he had taken quite a fancy to Lachesis too, and that was definitely the best bonus. He rather thought she took quite a fancy to him as well. He hoped, though he would never tell anyone, that he was invited back again.
"Ober tear...Fl... Bluffy is ober tear..." Lilith pointed at the other end of the room. She blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to bring everything back into focus, or at least get it to stop spinning.
She knew better or she should have then to let Mars talk them into doing shots and especially of Jose Cuervo Especial. She couldn't get out of bed for two days after the last time. Not that she had really minded, Clotho had taken very good care of her those two days. She smiled a cat-that-ate-the-canary smile. Where was her mate anyway? She looked blearily around for her lover, who tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around and almost fell, she had forgotten Clotho had come over a few minutes ago and was standing on the other side of her. "Tear u r... lub u..." She wrapped her arms around her mate's neck and planted a wet sloppy kiss on her mouth.
Clotho chuckled at her very drunk mate after she finished bathing her face. "Mars..." She growled, "I am so gonna whip your butt!"
Clotho really couldn't complain too much, she had done a few shots herself. The only difference between her and her mate was she had stopped doing them when she started feeling drunk. Mars knew exactly how to push Lilith's buttons to get her to keep on doing the shots, and apparently by the looks of the others, vampire, Slayer, Incarnates and humans alike he knew how to push theirs as well. She had a feeling after all that had happened in the last few months to all of her new family members a night of drunken revelry was in order.
"Whaaaa?" Mars gave her his innocent look and shrugged his shoulders. "Hits hot liek I florced dem..."
Clotho got distracted as Lilith's hand slid down her back and grabbed her ass. She reached behind her to grab her mate's wandering hand and left her front exposed. Lilith grabbed her breast quickly; belying how drunk she was, then again, Lilith could be on the verge of passing out or comatose and her hands, mouth... Clotho pushed her thoughts away from there and concentrated on capturing her mate's hands. The two Immortals started playing what Clotho affectionately called, Lilith's Drunken Hand Chase. The game was simple, Lilith would keep grabbing, touching, teasing body parts of Clotho that should not be receiving attention in public until Clotho could capture both of Lilith's hands. Sometimes, more often then not, Clotho just gave up, hauled her lover over her shoulder and pulled a Cave-Clotho on Lilith.
Faith started giggling as she watched them. "Wears Bleee? I wanha plaaay foo!" She started giggling harder at the two Immortals, then her giggles turned into hiccups, which only made her giggle harder. Mars started laughing with the Dark Slayer. "I canned st....hop... hickclubbin..."
Buffy was going to kill her, she couldn't believe how drunk she was, at least she wasn't the only one. Mars, Lilith, Spike, Gunn, Lily, Giles, Wesley, Fred, Xander, Anya and even Lachesis were shit-faced too. One more shot and Willow, Tara, Gary and James would be right there on the shit-faced boat with them. Faith hadn't thought the Watcher and the ex-Watcher had it in them, but they had proved her wrong. They were the only ones so far who were even close to keeping up with Mars, whom it seemed had a cement stomach. Belatedly Faith thought, maybe she should have learned something from the four-day drinking binge story of Mars and Luc's.
"Hear... twill ghet rib of te hiphops..." Mars handed Faith a glass, had she been less drunk she would have thought twice about drinking it, especially since he had a sly smile on his face.
She peered into the glass, it looked safe, it wasn't amber so it couldn't be Jose'. Faith chugged it down and started choking. Mars almost knocked her over as he pounded on her back. Fuck! Tequila! Clear Tequila! FUCK! She was going to kill Mars, as soon as she figured out which one of the ten of him was the real him. "I'm gon kilt u Pandy-mlan..."
"Me?" This time he tried out his innocent look on Faith, he chuckled when he saw it wasn't working. Ah hell, only one thing left to do. "Knot me Wesleeve n Biles... dem..."
Faith leaned around Mars trying to see Wesley and Giles, it was a good thing that she was holding onto the bar or she would have tipped over. Wesley just gave her a drunken proud smile. Giles took off his glasses and pretended he couldn't see her, which was the truth, with or without the glasses right now.
"Gonno kilt u Engleash n Gee-mlan..." She tried to snarl threateningly at them but it just came out as a drunken slur. "...and choo two Clandy-mlan. N Blee's gonno kilt me... "
She looked around for Buffy again; she was taking an awful long time going to the bathroom. Faith wondered if she was all right, Buffy had indulged in a few shots with them, but not nearly as many as the rest of them. Buffy was still a little leery about drinking after the whole Bad-Beer episode. Leery or not Faith knew Buffy had a good little buzz going on too. She finally spotted Buffy on the other side of the room talking to Angel, she smiled happily, she was glad they were friends. She wouldn't have gotten as far as she had if it wasn't for Angel believing in her when she hadn't believed in herself. She knew deep down if it wasn't for Angel she would more than likely be dead by now. It would have made things hard on her if she had lost him because of being with Buffy. Faith honestly didn't know if she would have been able to deal with the guilt if he had still been in love with Buffy.
Her eyes shining with love for them both, Faith leaned against the bar and watched them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...Watched them with a smile as they laughed together.
...Watched as Buffy playfully pushed Angel away from her.
...Watched as her smile started turning into a frown.
...Watched as a low hissing growl started in her chest and her happy thoughts of a few minutes ago started to get dark.
...Watched as the growl started rumbling louder in her chest as Buffy reached for Angel again.
...Watched as Buffy's hand ran up the length of Angel's arm.
...Watched as the growl escaped from her almost silently.
...Watched as Buffy reached up and cupped Angel's face between her own two small hands.
...Watched as Angel gently tilted Buffy's face up towards him.
...Watched and saw the tears streaking down Buffyfaceface.
...Watched as Angel pulled her mate to him in a hug.
...Watched as her mate clung to Angel.
...Watched them as the images from the echo she was getting from Buffy played in her head the whole time she had been watching them.
...Watched them as her Mother's voice started to scream in her head telling her once again, "Who would want you, you're nothing but a fucking little whore."
...Watched them as the part of her that knew with absolute certainty that Buffy was her soul-mate and that she was Buffy's, yelled over and over, MINE, MINE, MINE, clearly, loudly in her head, trying to drown out all the other voices, obliterate the images from the echo.
...Watched as she stood frozen in place.
...Watched as she felt herself become stone cold sober.
...Watched as she felt herself become just plain old cold all over.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Are you kidding me? You're over two-hundred-years old. Angel you can do this!"
"I can't, Buffy, I don't know how."
"Oh come on your acting like a teenage boy who's never done it before." She playfully pushed him, her hand resting briefly against his chest, smiling at him. She pulled her hand back and felt something strange, her brows furrowed as she concentrated, her smile faded into a frown. Warm, he felt warm. No! That wasn't possible! There was something picking at the edges of her brain, trying to worm its way out. She remembered this feeling.
Angel watched her, his own smile faded being replaced by a look of concern. She raised her hand and ran it up his arm.
Warm! Warm! The memory was coming to her, it was blurry, she didn't want to see it! She didn't want to know! She cupped his face between her hands it was warm! She dropped her eyes from his as they filled up with tears; she felt his warm hand tilt her head back up towards him.
She looked at him wide-eyed; the t str streaming down her face, as he gently pulled her to him. She clung to him as the memories came back with a vicious clarity, ripping through her at the speed of light.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**
She had been sitting on the park bench in the late afternoon; the sun wouldn't be going down for another few hours. Her mind going round and round in circles, why did they keep torturing each other like this? They could never be together again. So why? She heard a noise, looked up, and saw him standing in the shade of the trees. She watched as he started to move towards her.
Watched as Angel stepped out of the shade and into the bright afternoon sun.
Watched him move towards her until he sweep her up, his lips closing over hers as they kissed like there was no tomorrow.
**********
"Right, you spoke to the Oracles and they said you were cured for good. But how do we know for sure they speak for the powers? They could be pranksters."
"Or there could be another loophole."
"Exactly. And then the two of us would be in even deeper and it’s 'grr' all over again."
"It would be smart to wait a while. See if this mortal thing takes."
"Exactly. And even if it does, it's still complicated."
"You're still the Slayer. And I'm not sure what I am now. I don't know what my purpose is. I can't just wedge myself into your life back in Sunnydale. It wouldn't be good for either of us. Not to mention the fact that you just started college. And what about slaying. I mean, if you had me to worry about, you might not be as focused."
"Are you going to pull out a pie chart on me now? Because I get it, it's not necessary."
"I'm not saying I don't want you. You know how much... I'm just saying it's worth the wait to be sure this is right. I need to be sure you won't get hurt again."
"You know it's a good thing I didn't fantasize about you turning human only about 10 zillion times, because today would have been a real let down. - So how does the mature plan go? You call me? I call you? What?"
"We stay in touch - just not..."
"Literally. - Funny." She stated, then got up and walked right past him. "Okay, I'd better..."
He watched her retreating back, "Right. Remove the temptation."
She spun around to face him, "So, we'll - talk soon."
She put her hand down on the counter and touched his by accident. Touched his warm hand! He looks down at his hand touching hers, as she looked down at her hand touching his. He couldn't do it, he couldn't be good, mature, responsible, even if he was over two-hundred-years-old. He loved her, he wanted her, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, slamming his mouth down on hers with brutal force.
They stumbled back against the refrigerator; she jumped up wrapping her legs tightly around his waist. She wanted him, needed him, loved him with a passion that she hadn't known existed. He stumbled over to the kitchen table whipping everything off it with a sweep of his arm, while she rained kisses all over his face. He lay her gently down on the table, following her down.
**********
He hit the ground hard; he groaned in pain, there were salt crystals all over the room. He scrambled away from the Mohra demon. It was taking all he had to remain alive, he had forgotten he was no longer a vampire, forgotten what it was like to be human, how easily humans could break. He climbed up on the lid of the salt silo, the demon jumped on him they both crashed through it.
The demon stood towering over him, holding him down, its foot on his throat. The demon raised his sword over his head, ready to plunge it into him.
"Yours is a sacred death ushering in the beginning of a sacred time. The End of Days has begun and cannot be stopped. For any one of us who falls, ten shall rise..."
She jumped down on top of the demon cutting off his words, knocking it off her lover. She grabbed the sword from the demon, "You hurt my boyfriend."
"A great darkness is coming." Thera tra told her.
"You got that right." She told the demon before they began to fight. She knocked the demon into the wall then taunted him, "Come on, this is the great warrior of darkness?"
They started to fight again; the demon threw her into a wall and then picked her up by the throat. "Together you were powerful." The demon told them, "Alone, you are dead. What do you think of the great warrior now?"
He looked at the demon that was holding his love, his Slayer by the throat; he picked up a handful of salt from the ground. "Little bland." He threw the salt at the demon, hitting him in the eye. "Needs salt."
She started to fight the demon again, her lover to hurt to help her now that he was just human.
"The light of a thousand eyes.., The jewel in its forehead! You have to smash the jewel." He yelled to her.
She picked up the other weapon the Mohra demon had and slammed him solidly in the jewel that was in the center of its forehead. The jewel broke and in a flash of bright light, the demon was gone. She rushed over to her lover, pulling him to her. She cradled Angel's head in her lap.
"Buffy, are you all..."
"Shh, you're all right. That's all that matters. Shh, you're all right." She leaned down and kissed the top of Angel's head. Her love, her life, her soul-mate. "And it's over. And we're together."
**********
"I went to see the Oracles. I asked them to turn me back."
"What? - Why?"
"Because more then ever I know how much I love you."
She backed away from him in horror when she realized what he was telling her. "No. No, you didn't."
Angel followed after her, "And if I stayed mortal one of us would wind up dead, maybe both of us. You heard what Mohra said."
"Mohra is dead. We killed him."
"He said others would come."
"They always come. And they always will. But that's my problem now, not yours, remember?"
"No, I won't just stand by and let you fight, maybe die, alone."
"Then we fight together."
"You saw what happened last night. If anything, I'm a liability to you. You take chances to protect me, and that's not just bad for you, it's bad for the people we were meant to help."
"So what? You just took a whole 24 hours to weigh the ups and downs of being a regular Joe and decided it was more fun being a superhero?"
"You know that's not it. How can we be together if the cost is your life, or the lives of others?" He looked down into her eyes, then took her into his arms, holding her close, holding her tightly. "I know. I couldn't tell you. I wasn't sure - if I could do it if I woke up with you one more morning."
She was trying so hard to hold back the tears, trying to understand. "I understand. - So, what happens now?'"
"The Oracles are giving us back the day, turning back time, so I can kill Mohra before his blood makes me mortal."
"When?"
"Another minute."
She started crying, this wasn't right. It wasn't right! They were meant to be together. She knew it! "A minute? No. No, it's not enough time!"
"We don't have a choice. It's done."
"How am I supposed to go on with my life knowing what we had? What we could have had?"
"You won't. No one will know but me."
"Everything we did."
"It never happened."
She shook her head in denial at him, "It did. It did. I know it did!" She put her hand over his heart. "I felt your heart beat."
"Buffy..." He leaned down and kissed her softly, gently, pouring all his love for her into the tender kiss.
She looked at the clock the minute was almost over, "No! Oh God. It's not enough time." She watched him as the tears fell from his eyes.
"Shh, please. Please."
They clung tightly, desperately to each other, basking in the warmth, hearing each other's hearts pounding furiously as they cried.
"Please, please." He whispered hoarsely.
"No. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget." She insisted, she told him, told herself.
**
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But she did forget... She looked up at Angel and knew that it was only she that had forgotten. The Powers, the Oracles had only taken the memory away from her, not him. 'How could he?' her mind screamed at her. Her heart was breaking, she dropped her eyes from him again, she couldn't look at him. Her heart broke a little more, she didn't want to break his heart any more then it already was, but...
She felt his hand on her chin raising her face once more up to his.
"Angel, I... I..."
"I know Buffy... I knew even before you did..."
She searched his eyes, trying to find the truth, trying to see the truth in them. And she saw it there.
"We have to talk about this..."
"We will Buffy, but now is not the time..."
"I..." Then she was hit with an echo from Faith that was so pained filled that it made her knee's buckle. She would have fallen to the ground if Angel hadn't caught her. She looked at him again and he gave her a tender, gentle, understanding smile.
The kind of smile, that made her remember why she had fallen in love with him in the first place.
The kind of smile, that made her remember why she loved him still.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was shattering into a million tiny pieces in the same way as the bar crumbled to pieces beneath her grasping hand. She had seen it all and knew it wasn't a fantasy, knew it was a memory. How could he have done it? How? God how could she fight him for Buffy now? Fight him knowing what he had done for Buffy and humanity, knowing what he had given up, knowing what they could have had? Knowing that they, Angel and Buffy could have that now, now that his soul was permanent. Fight him after all he had done for her. She stood frozen, staring sightlessly across the room.
She felt the cold creeping through all of her, her blood, her skin, through every cell. She was dying inside. Dying because she knew she couldn't stand in their way. She would leave, they belonged together, she wouldn't get in their way, it was the right thing to do, the only thing she could do.
Both of them had given her so much, they had showed her all that life had to offer, all that was there just for the asking.
She had made her decision, but still she remained frozen, her own voice in her head still screaming, 'Mine'.
She felt cold, so cold, she had never felt this cold.
Then a warm body was pressing up against her. Warm hands were sliding up her arms, one gently grasping her hand pulling it away from the bar. Then the warm hands were sliding up around and behind her neck, pulling her head down.
She stared down into golden-hazel eyes and then a warm mouth was pressing up against hers, whispering one word over and over to her against her lips, "Yours."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clotho was still trying to capture her lover's deliciously wandering hands; she was just about to the point where she was ready to throw Lilith over her shoulder and fade them home, right into the bedroom to be exact. She glanced up and saw Faith out of the corner of her eye. The look on Faith's face sent a shudder through her. She tried to move away from Lilith and over to Faith, Lilith captured her and planted a very wet kiss on her neck.
"Lilith!"
Lilith jerked her head back from her mate's neck; something in Clotho's tone instantly sobered her up. She looked at her lover and then owedowed her gaze to Faith. Lilith knew that look on Faith's face intimately, had seen it reflected back at her in the mirror a long time ago when she had thought she had lost Clotho.
Clotho knew that look as well, she had seen it on Lilith's face all those many years ago when Lilith thought she had lost her. What the hell had happened? Before either of the Immortals could make a move towards Faith, Buffy was there, pressing herself against Faith. Pulling Faith's hand away from the shattered piece of the bar she was gripping tightly. Wrapping her arms around Faith's neck, pulling her head, her mouth down to her own.
One word came to Lilith and Clotho over and over again softly, "Yours." Without saying a word, Clotho waved her hand and faded the Slayers to the cottage by the lake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Neither noticed that they were no longer at Mars' home. All Buffy noticed was how cold Faith's skin felt under her hands, how Faith was trembling against her, the soft growling rumbling out of Faith's chest, the taste of both her and Faith's tears upon her still whispering lips. What she noticed most of all though was that Faith had made no move to embrace her back and from the moment she had touched her, Faith had totally closed down the connection between them. The only thing Buffy felt coming from Faith was empty coldness, as if Faith had retreated so far away that there was nothing left.
She felt Faith's cold hands sliding up the length of her arms and her heart leapt and a whimper of joy escaped in the gaps between her repeated word. It quickly turned to an anguished sob that she tried to stifle as she felt those same cold hands grasp hers, pulling them away and off of an equally cold neck, as Faith stepped back and out of her reach.
"No. Not yours. Not mine. His." There was no hate, no anguish, nothing but a finality in Faith's tone. Faith wondered as she said the words if this... this coldness, emptiness was how it felt when you were dead. How it felt when you were dead inside.
"You're wrong. I am yours and you are mine. I am not his and I don't think I ever was. And I don't want to be his. I am right where I want to be, right where I will always want to be, where I belong. With you."
"It's okay. You don't have to pretend. I felt everything you felt, I felt it when you remembered why you fell in love with Angel, why you're still in love with him."
"You're right. About all of it, except the last part. After I remembered it all, I felt my heart break for what he had done for me, for what he had given up. And then I felt even worse, felt my heart break for him even more because... because even knowing what he did... knowing that his soul is permanent now... That it wasn't him I wanted. And when he smiled at me, I knew that I didn't have to say anything. Knew that he already knew and that he was okay with it. And yes I was reminded of why I fell in love with him and why I still love him. Why I love him still Faith, NOT why I'm still IN love with him. Just love him as a friend. The only person I am in love with is you. Not him. You, just you!"
"Maybe. But if he had stayed human we wouldn't be here right now. You two would be together like you should be."
"No, Faith, I don't think so. I don't think we would have still been together right now. I don't believe that Angel and I were meant to be together. I think that you and I would still be here, still be together. I think if I wasn't so scared, so in denial of what it was I was feeling for you all those years ago that you and I would be celebrating our third anniversary right now. You and I are where we're supposed to be, how we're supposed to be. And even more importantly where I want to be. With you, only you."
"It's not that I don't believe you Buffy. But you said it yourself, you are the Queen of Denial. I think that is exactly what you're in right now Buffy, denial. So I'm going to do the right thing. I'm taking the choice away from you. I owe you and Angel that much. I owe you both so much more than even that. I owe it to both of you to walk away. Let you both have the chance that you've been denied twice now. You know I'm right Buffy. It's the right thing. You and Angel belong together. Don't blow it, take the chance, you'll see I'm right Buffy. You know deep down in your heart, in your soul, I'm right about this Buffy."
With every Buffy that Faith uttered, she felt like a stake was being driven into her heart. She knew that she was Faith's B, not Buffy. And Faith, using her full name, struck terror in her, deep down to her soul. Buffy couldn't believe what she was hearing, couldn't believe that Faith was saying this. Saying it with absolutely no emotion, her voice hollow as if it were some recording that was unable to capture the nuances of tones and feelings.
She looked into Faith's eyes, which were almost pitch-black they were so dark and she saw nothing there. No life, no love, no nothing. They weren't even lifeless, lifeless at least would have been an indication that there was something, some kind of feeling, they were just bottomless and empty. Faith had retreated so deep and so far away that Buffy was terrified that she wouldn't be able to reach her. This wasn't the Faith she knew, wasn't any Faith she had ever known. The Faith she knew was passionate, alive, vibrant, no matter what emotional state she was in, the woman standing in front of her speaking with dead, unemotional, almost robotic calmness wasn't any Faith she had ever known.
Faith moved stiffly towards her bag on the floor of wherever the hell they were. She had no idea how they had gotten here, she didn't care, nothing mattered to her. She was just cold, empty, and nothing seemed real anymore to her. All of it, all she was feeling, all of her was securely locked away behind the steel wall in her mind. It was all too much, all the feelings, all that she, they, had gone through in the last seven months, and what was happening now. So she had retreated, further than ever before to that safe, numb place in her mind. No one could touch her there, it was cold there, so cold, but she had been cold before, in time she knew she would get use to it again. This was the right thing to do she owed it to them. She owed it to Buffy and Angel to do this for them. Once again, like she had for most of her life, the Dark Slayer left herself, her own needs, her own feelings out of the equation.
"This is not your choice to make Faith." Buffy's voice was hard but loving. She waited for Faith to turn around and face her but she didn't. "Did you hear me Faith? This is not your choice. Have you heard anything at all that I said to you? Anything?"
"I heard you Buffy. I heard and understood everything you said."
"Then, I don't understand. What is it? Don't you believe me? Don't you believe I love you? That I'm in love with you. I don't understand. Faith, I don't understand..."
Faith kept her back to Buffy, she wanted to turn around, Buffy sounded so small, so sad, so hurt, so scared. She couldn't though, her body refused to listen to her heart. She was doing the right thing. She had to be strong. "I believe that is what you believe Buffy. I believe you're doing this because you don't want to hurt me. Because of what happened with Glory and J-Jon... with him. So I am making the choice to walk away, because I know you won't." Faith continued to walk towards what she could see was the bathroom.
"What are you doing? Where are you going? You can't just walk away from this; we're not done talking about this Faith!" Buffy was panicking. She didn’t' understand what was happening. Mentally she was banging up against the blocks that Faith had put up, trying to force her to open the connection between them.
"I'm cold. I'm going to change. And we are done talking." She stopped at the door to the bathroom, she took a deep breath, but she didn't turn around. "It's over Buffy. We are over."
Buffy flew across the room, her arms going around Faith from behind. She pulled Faith's stiff, cold body back against her, tears streaming down her face, dripping from her chin onto Faith's bare shoulder.
Faith felt each and every single teardrop fall onto her shoulder. They burned her, scorched her to her soul. Still though, they could not dispel the emptiness, the coldness inside of her.
"It's...it's...not... It's..." She stopped, pulling in a ragged breath; she was choking on her tears, unable to get her voice above a hoarse whisper. "It's not over! Do you hear me Faith?!!? It's not! I won't let it be over! This isn't your choice. I am in love with you. You are in love with me. It is not over! There is no way I will believe this is over. It will never be over between us Faith, ever. Open yourself up, let yourself look inside of me and you'll know that I am not lying, not in denial. For the first time in my life, I know exactly what I want. Who I want. I have no doubts, no second thoughts, no regrets. I am exactly where I want to be, with exactly who I want to be with. Open yourself back up to me baby please, open yourself up and see there is no one else I want to be with."
She was doing the right thing, she was, she knew she was. But why was she so cold, so empty then? "I can't Buffy. I can't open myself back up to you because I didn't shut myself off from you. Our connection broke right after you remembered and you touched me. So you see I am right. It is Angel you belong with not me." She pulled out of Buffy's embrace and stepped into the bathroom. She turned around and faced Buffy, steeling herself against Buffy's crying eyes, steeling herself against her mate's pain. "It's over between us Buffy. It's over."
She turned around and softly closed and locked the door to the bathroom and on her soul. She moved away from the door hoping that the distance would block out the sound of Buffy's almost silent sobs. She changed into black jeans and a t-shirt quickly. It exhausted her, she felt lost and so very alone, so very cold. The broken connection was what had finally convinced her that what she was doing was right. She turned back around, bracing herself to leave the bathroom, to leave Buffy forever; she took half a step towards the door, which seemed miles away and...
She crumbled to the floor, drawing her knees up tightly to her chest and started to rock in pain and denial. 'B, YOUR MINE, I'M YOURS', her voice in her head kept screaming, throwing itself up against the steel barrier she had erected trying to break free, trying to be heard, trying to open the connection between itself and it's mate. The tears ran down her face and felt like hail as they splashed down onto her bare arms.
Cold.
It was so cold here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...Ever and always ~ Give me ever and always ~ Body and soul ~ Yesterday ~ Today ~ Tomorrow ~ Body and soul ~ Give me ever the years you wept inside when cold ~ All the sins and secrets never cried ~ All the dreams you kept and the tears you sold ~ Give me ~ Give me ever and always ~ Ever and always ~ Body and soul – Sisters of Mercy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Continued in Chapter XXIX – Crown of Scars
(Part B)
To say the Joining ceremony was beautiful was an understatement. Luc and Atropos exchanged the same vows they had exchanged in the garden of the Mansion. They stood under the trellis with the hanging ivy and honeysuckle, surrounded by orchids, roses of every variety, lilies and other exotic flowers that those from the domain known as Earth had never seen before. The smell of lilac and jasmine, mixed with the musky scent of roses. Both Slayers silently decided that if, no when, they married each other that here was where they would want the ceremony to take place.
The ceremony was officially presided over by oddly enough a beautiful earthy woman named Lily. Who in the lore of the gods and Incarnates was known by the names, The Green Mother and Mother Nature. Her hair was the color of burnt chestnuts; she had a wide generous mouth and laugh lines on her face. Her eyes were round and dark, dark, umber and fringed by obscenely long, thick, pitch-black eyelashes. Her nose long and thin and on any other person would have probably given the face a pinched almost mean look. She had a matching set of dimples on either cheek. Her skin was the color of the earth a vibrant russet-broTherThere was an aura of natural, earthy, sensuality about her. She was petite with a lithe body, maybe an inch shorter then Buffy and didn't look a day over nineteen.
If Lily exuded down to earth sensuality then the woman sitting across the aisle from Faith, Buffy, Willow and Tara exuded pure, raw, burning, sensuality. The only one among them that could have given her a run for her money was Faith and even Faith thought it would be a short run. The woman who the four found out later was Lilith, bespoke of dark, smoldering passions. Her hair was thick, midnight black and hung down to almost her waist in waves. Her skin tone was olive, and looked satiny, silky, and creamy all at once. Her black thin, winged eyebrows sat over piercing slanted violet eyes, and her eyelashes put Lily's to shame. Her cheekbones were high, narrow and had a decidedly chiseled look about them. She had a full mouth, the bottom lip jutted out slightly, tempting both men and women alike to catch it between their teeth and suckle upon it. She was tall, at least five-feet-eleven, soft, curvy but not overly so, her legs long, her waist small, her breasts high, proud.
She was the exact opposite of her lover Clotho, who was as light as Lilith was dark. With pure white hair, fine and long, which she always wore braided. Thin white eyebrows arched over her piercing cerulean eyes, a thin fine sculpted nose. Her mouth while not as generous as her lover's was ruby red adding color to her otherwise pale complexion. She stood only five-seven and where her lover was soft and sensual, Clotho was lean, ripped, and taunt. Clotho and Lilith were in essence the Chosen Two of the Immortals, because unlike Clotho, Lilith was not an Incarnate, but she was like Clotho an Immortal.
After the ceremony, Clotho joined the Slayers and the Wicca's. She brought both Lilith and a man with her, who could only be described as an undiluted version of an ancient Spartan. He was a pure warrior through and through, just looking at him you could see he was definitely in touch with the primal predator that lived within.
"Willow, Tara, Faith, Buffy, this is Lilith, my Chosen and Mars the Incarnate of War." Clotho smiled at their surprised expressions and both she and Buffy watched as one raven-haired beauty, checked out the other raven-haired beauty.
Luc and Atropome ome over and joined them, smiling at the surprised looks on their guest's faces. They exchanged looks; their guests were in for a few more surprises, all good needless to say, before the day was over.
"Wow... Oh wow... this is like... Lilith I know that from somewhere, why do I know that? Wow... thislikelike those Piers Anthony books about the Incarnates that I read. You all are almost exactly like his 'Incarnates'. In fact, there was even a Lilith in the books... Unbelievable! Tara are you sure we aren't dreaming? Wouldn't Piers Anthony be surprised if he knew..." Willow trailed off when she noticed that Luc suddenly found his perfectly manicured nails extremely interesting and Mars was busy watching one of his shiny boots polish itself against the back of the calf of his other leg.
"Honey..." Tara said looking at Luc, mischief sparkling in her eyes. "I think there might be a reason for the similarities to the real Incarnates to the Incarnates in Piers Anthony's series. Isn't that right Luc, Mars?"
"Well... um..." Luc paused and looked at his smiling wife. Wife! Damn that sounded good! "It was all Mars's fault."
"Was not..."
"Was too..."
"Was not... You're the one that wanted to go out in their realm that night, not me."
"Yes, but if I recall, Mars, it was your idea to start drinking shots of tequila, not mine! And certainly not for, four damn days straight. Nor was it my idea to start telling the young man next to us tales of your glorious battles!"
"Well how the hell was I supposed to know he was going to be a famous author some day?"
"Well it wouldn't have been so bad if you didn't start telling tales about the rest of us as well..."
"Yeah and you made it worse when you started telling..."
Mars and Luc kept telling their tale in their own bantering way of meeting a young man, whom both had found amusing while they were out on a four-day drinking binge. The young man had amused both Incarnates so much that they had dragged him along with them on their bender. They all listened amused to the tale, all except Faith and Lilith who were sizing each other up.
'Damn she's hot! Sexy, sultry, steaming! Shit!' Both Faith and Lilith thought to themselves as they checked out the other.
Neither the Slayer nor the Immortal would have been surprised that their thoughts were almost exactly the same. Both saw a sexy woman standing in front of them that was so in love with their mate, that Venus the Goddess of Love could be standing in front of them and both would have thought she couldn't hold a candle to their respective mate. Lilith and Faith were a lot alike in both their temperaments and the wild streaks that had gotten them in so much trouble, the good kind of trouble, not the bad kind. Each had a slightly wicked sense of humor. Both exuded a raw, primal sensuality. Both woman's Bad Girl, Sex-bomb image hid a gentle heart, a fierce loyalty to those they loved, and once they found their mates, a monogamous nature. When they mated, they mated for life. Though, neither would ever admit any of it publicly. And both still had a hard time believing that their blond counterparts had picked them for their mates. They saw in each other a kindred spirit and someone they could call friend. They felt instantly comfortable around each other, a new experience for both of them. They each were already plotting what kind of new experience, trouble they could drag their respective mate's into.
'I'm gonna have some wicked fun hangin' out with her! Bet she knows where to get the best leather from too! Thinking we're a lot alike and both of us are whipped by the blond goddesses standing next to us!'
Buffy watched as Lilith and Faith exchanged knowing smiles. She felt a flash of jealousy shoot through her and she had only caught the first part of Faith's thoughts in an echo because as the Green-Eyed-Monster reared its ugly head in her brain it had started tap dancing in it.
Faith heard the low hiss a second before she got an elbow in the side, then Buffy pulled her slightly away from the crowd that had gathered to listen to the rest of Mars and Luc's tale. "What was that for?"
"Echoes Faith, remember... I saw what you were thinking about her..." Buffy mumbled low for Faith's slayer hearing only.
"What B... she is hot..." Faith felt rather than saw the insecurity and jealousy rush through Buffy, and immediately regretted her words, which had come out totally wrong and harsh. She had a feeling Buffy hadn't gotten all of it in the echo, otherwise she would have known that there was nothing to feel insecure or jealous about. She took Buffy's hand into hers, "B..." She waited for Buffy to look up and when she didn't Faith gently took a hold of her chin and turned her face up towards her. "B... Buffy she doesn't even come close to you... couldn't even on her best day. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, known, know. I love you and I'm stgonngonna think you are the most beautiful woman in the world when you're old and gray and all your teeth have fallen out. You know why?" Buffy just shook her head no, her eyes large, trying to see the truth in Faith's.
"It's like this really smart woman told me once." Faith closed her eyes for just one second and thought back to the night that Buffy had made, or rather bought, them dinner at the Mansion. The same night that she and Buffy had truly made love for the first time and from memory, she repeated back to Buffy the words Buffy had spoken to her that night, "You are beautiful. I don't just mean on the outside. You are beautiful where it truly counts. Here..." Faith placed her hand over Buffy's heart. "Don't let anyone, not yourself, not me, ever tell you any differently." Then she added her own words, "The beauty that is you shines so bright from inside of you. There is nowhere else I ever want to be but with you in that light. I love you B and no matter what happens I will always love you. I will love you for all eternity..." With that said Faith turned beat red, the blush crept up her neck and over her face. As ridiculous as it was after all they had been through together, all the things they still had to work through, Faith suddenly felt extremely shy.
Buffy wondered if anyone had noticed that she had melted into a puddle on the ground. For once it was Buffy who said to Faith, "You don't play fair, you know that Faith." Faith just gave her that lopsided grin she loved so much and it took every ounce of Buffy's willpower not to pull a Cave-Buffy and throw Faith over her shoulder and take her somewhere and make love with her until they both passed out. The primal part of her was jumping up in down in ecstasy just at the thought alone.
"What can I say B... You taught me well."
"And I so will never have gray hair or lose my teeth Faith." She peeked up at Faith through her lashes, "But it's good to know you'll love me anyway, because I love you too." This time it was Buffy who blushed.
Faith took Buffy's hand and led her back to the group; she squeezed Buffy's hand and jerked her head in the direction of Lilith and Clotho. Seems she wasn't the only one who got misread. "Blondes..." Faith mumbled, chuckling under her breath and thinking, 'Oh we are so whipped. Yup whipped here and damn proud of it too!'
"Hey... Slayer hearing here."
"I didn't mean you B... 'cause you know you're not rea..."
"Faith!"
'Smart much Faith?!? Dig that there hole just a little bit deeper why don't you? Insert foot in mouth here with a big old arrow pointing right at my big old mouth!'
So Faith did the only thing she could think of to bail herself out, she kissed Buffy. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lilith grab Clotho and kiss her.
Wicked fun we are all going to have hanging out together...oh yeah, this is good... B....B...B,B,B...'
That was the last coherent thought Faith had for the next few minutes, in fact pretty much all four of them ceased to think at all for the next few minutes especially since feeling was oh so much better.
The rest of the afternoon and early evening was wonderful. All of the Earth domain contingency spent most of the day wondering if they were dreaming, or on some type of fantasy trip as they met one mythical being after another. Why they were so amazed, considering there were two Slayers, a mystical Key, four Wicca's, and two Vampires with souls amongst their numbers had even them shaking their heads in wonder.
During the ceremony, it hadn't escaped either Faith or Buffy's notice that Dawn had spent most of her time, sneaking glances at the sandy-haired young man sitting next to Lachesis. Nor did it escape either Slayers notice that he too was sneaking glances at Dawn. Much to Dawn's delight and the Slayers terror at the thought that Dawn had discovered boys, the young man made his way over to Dawn, and whisked her away before either of the Slayers could stop them.
When they couldn't find them, Faith had cornered Lachesis and demanded to know who the boy was and where the hell he had taken her sister! Lachesis had merely told her not to worry that Dawn was quite safe with Crow and they were hanging out with the other young people. It wasn't until after Luc and Mars or Candy-man, which Faith had nicknamed the Incarnate of War and actually had the balls to call him to his face, finished telling their tale, that Dawn and Crow had reappeared. She dragged the young man over to meet her sisters and the Wicca's.
"Crow, this is Willow and her girlfriend Tara, and Buffy, my sister and her soul-mate Faith, my sister if not by blood then by the heart. Everyone this is Crow. Although I believe that Willow and Tara sort of met you before."
All four young women gave the boy the once over. He appeared to be between sixteen and seventeen. He had shoulder length sandy-brown hair. His face was strong and masculine, his eyes the lightest hazel-green any of them had ever seen, they seemed to dance with life and laughter. He was tall, at least six feet, and had the lean, toned body of youth. All of them got the impression that he was someone who liked to laugh and for some odd reason while he might have a wild streak, which they could all see in his eyes, they also got the impression he was someone who was loyal and responsible.
"Pleased to meet you all." His voice was low, deep and seemed to rumble out of his chest. He also sounded much older then he looked.
"What!" Both Slayers yelled at Willow and Tara, when they saw the impish glint in both Crow and Dawn's eyes and the two Wicca's mouths drop open. "What!" They yelled again.
"Oh... Did I forget to tell you that Crow is a nickname... His real name is..."
"Oh my goddess! You're Father Time!!! No way... so no way... you're all youngie and a kid... and young..."
"I am afraid it is true, little tree..." To which Crow, Dawn and Tara all giggled while Willow kept on sputtering, and the Slayers kept on yelling, "What the hell is going on?!?"
"He's Chronos. Like in Father Time!" Willow squeaked at the Slayers, "He's an Incarnate like the others. Hey, you're supposed to be old! Real old, white hair, long beard kinda old!"
"How old are you?" Both Slayers asked together, more like snarled together. Buffy thinking to herself she sure as hell didn't want her sister dating someone centuries old; completely letting herself forget that her first love when she was seventeen was over two-hundred-years old and a souled vampire to boot.
"I'll be seventeen in three months." He smiled at them showing strong, white teeth.
"Is that seventeen in mortal years or in Incarnate years?" Buffy was still snarling, she couldn't help it. And damn if she just didn't get a flash echo of Faith thinking how cute she looked when she snarled. She filed that information away for another time.
"It is seventeen in your mortal earth years. I grew up with a Mother, a Father, a brother and a sister on Earth. Up until three months ago Earth time, my Father was Father Time. He retired and I, so to speak, took over the family business, just as mine an... a... my oldest son will some day."
Tara looked speculatively at Crow. He had almost said something else, then she remembered what he had said to Willow the day they had left to go rescue the Slayers:
It doesn't work that way, little tree...I don't have the power to change what happens, I can only set the clock back... besides I already know I didn't do that so it is not an option...
**
He had known ahead of time something he had done, or rather had not done in the future. Tara looked between Dawn and Crow; she had a sneaky suspicion of exactly what he almost said. She looked at the two snarling Slayers, saw the concern on their faces, and smiled; they were acting like any other parent would with a teenaged daughter who had just discovered boys. She decided to keep her suspicions to herself, because despite what Crow knew or didn't know, Tara knew that the future was not written in stone, the Fates had proven that.
She turned her attention away from her internal musing and listened instead with amusement as the Chosen Two played twenty-questions with Crow. He caught her eyes with his and gave her a slight nod in silent thanks. He continued to answer all of their questions, including Willow's, whose questions started leading in the direction of parallel time-lines and realities. Tara wanted to ask him about the spell as well, because both Willow and she had discussed afterwards how the spell had seemed to be tailor-made for them, but she didn't want to bring up that or Glory in front of either the Slayers or Dawn.
Crow was polite, very patience, funny, cute, and showed a keen intelligence as he answered their questions. Tara's generous heart warmed to him almost immediately. She sighed in relief with both he and Dawn when Mars, Lilith and Clotho came and almost physically dragged away not just the Slayers, but Willow and herself.
They were leaning up against the bar laughing hysterically at another of Mars outrageous battle tales. Luc and Atropos had stolen away to an unknown destination to start their honeymoon. After all the other Joining guests had left, Mars had faded them all to his home. No one was surprised to see that he had a room that for all intent and purposes was a bar in his house.
It jus just the Earth contingency, Mars, Lilith, Clotho, Lily, Lachesis, and Crow left. Dawn and Crow were off in Mars's arcade room, playing games, he had pinball machines, a mechanical bronco, a freestanding basketball machine, a pool table, and a Playstation hooked up to the biggest wide screen TV Faith had ever seen and every single game ever made for it. She couldn't wait to play a game on that screen. Angel had disappeared a while ago to who knows where. Buffy and Cordy had gone off to find a bathroom and Faith hadn't seen either of them in a while. Everyone else was standing around the bar.
"Canby-mlan hats about as trufe as my laying, um... slay...in in the newd..." Faith shook her head a little harder than she wanted, her hair whipped around and almost took out one of Mars's eyes. Maybe she shouldn't have had that last shot of tequila or the one before that or the one before that or... But she liked Jose', she just hoped he liked her in the morning. "Juner u see Bleeee any plates?"
Spike looked at Faith; he closed one eye and squinted at her with the other. "Hats fetter. Only... floor of u now." Spike liked it here, more than he would ever admit. He and Angel could walk in the sun without spontaneously combusting. They had no need for blood and they could eat and drink without getting sick from the food. He felt warm inside and out for the first time since he had been turned, he had forgotten how wonderful it felt. None of them knew, well maybe the Slayers did, how much bloody alcohol it took for him to get this drunk. Here, however, it obviously didn't take quite as much, he wished someone would have told him that. Ah who cared, 'cause he bloody well liked it here anyway and he had taken quite a fancy to Lachesis too, and that was definitely the best bonus. He rather thought she took quite a fancy to him as well. He hoped, though he would never tell anyone, that he was invited back again.
"Ober tear...Fl... Bluffy is ober tear..." Lilith pointed at the other end of the room. She blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to bring everything back into focus, or at least get it to stop spinning.
She knew better or she should have then to let Mars talk them into doing shots and especially of Jose Cuervo Especial. She couldn't get out of bed for two days after the last time. Not that she had really minded, Clotho had taken very good care of her those two days. She smiled a cat-that-ate-the-canary smile. Where was her mate anyway? She looked blearily around for her lover, who tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around and almost fell, she had forgotten Clotho had come over a few minutes ago and was standing on the other side of her. "Tear u r... lub u..." She wrapped her arms around her mate's neck and planted a wet sloppy kiss on her mouth.
Clotho chuckled at her very drunk mate after she finished bathing her face. "Mars..." She growled, "I am so gonna whip your butt!"
Clotho really couldn't complain too much, she had done a few shots herself. The only difference between her and her mate was she had stopped doing them when she started feeling drunk. Mars knew exactly how to push Lilith's buttons to get her to keep on doing the shots, and apparently by the looks of the others, vampire, Slayer, Incarnates and humans alike he knew how to push theirs as well. She had a feeling after all that had happened in the last few months to all of her new family members a night of drunken revelry was in order.
"Whaaaa?" Mars gave her his innocent look and shrugged his shoulders. "Hits hot liek I florced dem..."
Clotho got distracted as Lilith's hand slid down her back and grabbed her ass. She reached behind her to grab her mate's wandering hand and left her front exposed. Lilith grabbed her breast quickly; belying how drunk she was, then again, Lilith could be on the verge of passing out or comatose and her hands, mouth... Clotho pushed her thoughts away from there and concentrated on capturing her mate's hands. The two Immortals started playing what Clotho affectionately called, Lilith's Drunken Hand Chase. The game was simple, Lilith would keep grabbing, touching, teasing body parts of Clotho that should not be receiving attention in public until Clotho could capture both of Lilith's hands. Sometimes, more often then not, Clotho just gave up, hauled her lover over her shoulder and pulled a Cave-Clotho on Lilith.
Faith started giggling as she watched them. "Wears Bleee? I wanha plaaay foo!" She started giggling harder at the two Immortals, then her giggles turned into hiccups, which only made her giggle harder. Mars started laughing with the Dark Slayer. "I canned st....hop... hickclubbin..."
Buffy was going to kill her, she couldn't believe how drunk she was, at least she wasn't the only one. Mars, Lilith, Spike, Gunn, Lily, Giles, Wesley, Fred, Xander, Anya and even Lachesis were shit-faced too. One more shot and Willow, Tara, Gary and James would be right there on the shit-faced boat with them. Faith hadn't thought the Watcher and the ex-Watcher had it in them, but they had proved her wrong. They were the only ones so far who were even close to keeping up with Mars, whom it seemed had a cement stomach. Belatedly Faith thought, maybe she should have learned something from the four-day drinking binge story of Mars and Luc's.
"Hear... twill ghet rib of te hiphops..." Mars handed Faith a glass, had she been less drunk she would have thought twice about drinking it, especially since he had a sly smile on his face.
She peered into the glass, it looked safe, it wasn't amber so it couldn't be Jose'. Faith chugged it down and started choking. Mars almost knocked her over as he pounded on her back. Fuck! Tequila! Clear Tequila! FUCK! She was going to kill Mars, as soon as she figured out which one of the ten of him was the real him. "I'm gon kilt u Pandy-mlan..."
"Me?" This time he tried out his innocent look on Faith, he chuckled when he saw it wasn't working. Ah hell, only one thing left to do. "Knot me Wesleeve n Biles... dem..."
Faith leaned around Mars trying to see Wesley and Giles, it was a good thing that she was holding onto the bar or she would have tipped over. Wesley just gave her a drunken proud smile. Giles took off his glasses and pretended he couldn't see her, which was the truth, with or without the glasses right now.
"Gonno kilt u Engleash n Gee-mlan..." She tried to snarl threateningly at them but it just came out as a drunken slur. "...and choo two Clandy-mlan. N Blee's gonno kilt me... "
She looked around for Buffy again; she was taking an awful long time going to the bathroom. Faith wondered if she was all right, Buffy had indulged in a few shots with them, but not nearly as many as the rest of them. Buffy was still a little leery about drinking after the whole Bad-Beer episode. Leery or not Faith knew Buffy had a good little buzz going on too. She finally spotted Buffy on the other side of the room talking to Angel, she smiled happily, she was glad they were friends. She wouldn't have gotten as far as she had if it wasn't for Angel believing in her when she hadn't believed in herself. She knew deep down if it wasn't for Angel she would more than likely be dead by now. It would have made things hard on her if she had lost him because of being with Buffy. Faith honestly didn't know if she would have been able to deal with the guilt if he had still been in love with Buffy.
Her eyes shining with love for them both, Faith leaned against the bar and watched them.
...Watched them with a smile as they laughed together.
...Watched as Buffy playfully pushed Angel away from her.
...Watched as her smile started turning into a frown.
...Watched as a low hissing growl started in her chest and her happy thoughts of a few minutes ago started to get dark.
...Watched as the growl started rumbling louder in her chest as Buffy reached for Angel again.
...Watched as Buffy's hand ran up the length of Angel's arm.
...Watched as the growl escaped from her almost silently.
...Watched as Buffy reached up and cupped Angel's face between her own two small hands.
...Watched as Angel gently tilted Buffy's face up towards him.
...Watched and saw the tears streaking down Buffyfaceface.
...Watched as Angel pulled her mate to him in a hug.
...Watched as her mate clung to Angel.
...Watched them as the images from the echo she was getting from Buffy played in her head the whole time she had been watching them.
...Watched them as her Mother's voice started to scream in her head telling her once again, "Who would want you, you're nothing but a fucking little whore."
...Watched them as the part of her that knew with absolute certainty that Buffy was her soul-mate and that she was Buffy's, yelled over and over, MINE, MINE, MINE, clearly, loudly in her head, trying to drown out all the other voices, obliterate the images from the echo.
...Watched as she stood frozen in place.
...Watched as she felt herself become stone cold sober.
...Watched as she felt herself become just plain old cold all over.
"Are you kidding me? You're over two-hundred-years old. Angel you can do this!"
"I can't, Buffy, I don't know how."
"Oh come on your acting like a teenage boy who's never done it before." She playfully pushed him, her hand resting briefly against his chest, smiling at him. She pulled her hand back and felt something strange, her brows furrowed as she concentrated, her smile faded into a frown. Warm, he felt warm. No! That wasn't possible! There was something picking at the edges of her brain, trying to worm its way out. She remembered this feeling.
Angel watched her, his own smile faded being replaced by a look of concern. She raised her hand and ran it up his arm.
Warm! Warm! The memory was coming to her, it was blurry, she didn't want to see it! She didn't want to know! She cupped his face between her hands it was warm! She dropped her eyes from his as they filled up with tears; she felt his warm hand tilt her head back up towards him.
She looked at him wide-eyed; the t str streaming down her face, as he gently pulled her to him. She clung to him as the memories came back with a vicious clarity, ripping through her at the speed of light.
**
She had been sitting on the park bench in the late afternoon; the sun wouldn't be going down for another few hours. Her mind going round and round in circles, why did they keep torturing each other like this? They could never be together again. So why? She heard a noise, looked up, and saw him standing in the shade of the trees. She watched as he started to move towards her.
Watched as Angel stepped out of the shade and into the bright afternoon sun.
Watched him move towards her until he sweep her up, his lips closing over hers as they kissed like there was no tomorrow.
**********
"Right, you spoke to the Oracles and they said you were cured for good. But how do we know for sure they speak for the powers? They could be pranksters."
"Or there could be another loophole."
"Exactly. And then the two of us would be in even deeper and it’s 'grr' all over again."
"It would be smart to wait a while. See if this mortal thing takes."
"Exactly. And even if it does, it's still complicated."
"You're still the Slayer. And I'm not sure what I am now. I don't know what my purpose is. I can't just wedge myself into your life back in Sunnydale. It wouldn't be good for either of us. Not to mention the fact that you just started college. And what about slaying. I mean, if you had me to worry about, you might not be as focused."
"Are you going to pull out a pie chart on me now? Because I get it, it's not necessary."
"I'm not saying I don't want you. You know how much... I'm just saying it's worth the wait to be sure this is right. I need to be sure you won't get hurt again."
"You know it's a good thing I didn't fantasize about you turning human only about 10 zillion times, because today would have been a real let down. - So how does the mature plan go? You call me? I call you? What?"
"We stay in touch - just not..."
"Literally. - Funny." She stated, then got up and walked right past him. "Okay, I'd better..."
He watched her retreating back, "Right. Remove the temptation."
She spun around to face him, "So, we'll - talk soon."
She put her hand down on the counter and touched his by accident. Touched his warm hand! He looks down at his hand touching hers, as she looked down at her hand touching his. He couldn't do it, he couldn't be good, mature, responsible, even if he was over two-hundred-years-old. He loved her, he wanted her, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, slamming his mouth down on hers with brutal force.
They stumbled back against the refrigerator; she jumped up wrapping her legs tightly around his waist. She wanted him, needed him, loved him with a passion that she hadn't known existed. He stumbled over to the kitchen table whipping everything off it with a sweep of his arm, while she rained kisses all over his face. He lay her gently down on the table, following her down.
**********
He hit the ground hard; he groaned in pain, there were salt crystals all over the room. He scrambled away from the Mohra demon. It was taking all he had to remain alive, he had forgotten he was no longer a vampire, forgotten what it was like to be human, how easily humans could break. He climbed up on the lid of the salt silo, the demon jumped on him they both crashed through it.
The demon stood towering over him, holding him down, its foot on his throat. The demon raised his sword over his head, ready to plunge it into him.
"Yours is a sacred death ushering in the beginning of a sacred time. The End of Days has begun and cannot be stopped. For any one of us who falls, ten shall rise..."
She jumped down on top of the demon cutting off his words, knocking it off her lover. She grabbed the sword from the demon, "You hurt my boyfriend."
"A great darkness is coming." Thera tra told her.
"You got that right." She told the demon before they began to fight. She knocked the demon into the wall then taunted him, "Come on, this is the great warrior of darkness?"
They started to fight again; the demon threw her into a wall and then picked her up by the throat. "Together you were powerful." The demon told them, "Alone, you are dead. What do you think of the great warrior now?"
He looked at the demon that was holding his love, his Slayer by the throat; he picked up a handful of salt from the ground. "Little bland." He threw the salt at the demon, hitting him in the eye. "Needs salt."
She started to fight the demon again, her lover to hurt to help her now that he was just human.
"The light of a thousand eyes.., The jewel in its forehead! You have to smash the jewel." He yelled to her.
She picked up the other weapon the Mohra demon had and slammed him solidly in the jewel that was in the center of its forehead. The jewel broke and in a flash of bright light, the demon was gone. She rushed over to her lover, pulling him to her. She cradled Angel's head in her lap.
"Buffy, are you all..."
"Shh, you're all right. That's all that matters. Shh, you're all right." She leaned down and kissed the top of Angel's head. Her love, her life, her soul-mate. "And it's over. And we're together."
**********
"I went to see the Oracles. I asked them to turn me back."
"What? - Why?"
"Because more then ever I know how much I love you."
She backed away from him in horror when she realized what he was telling her. "No. No, you didn't."
Angel followed after her, "And if I stayed mortal one of us would wind up dead, maybe both of us. You heard what Mohra said."
"Mohra is dead. We killed him."
"He said others would come."
"They always come. And they always will. But that's my problem now, not yours, remember?"
"No, I won't just stand by and let you fight, maybe die, alone."
"Then we fight together."
"You saw what happened last night. If anything, I'm a liability to you. You take chances to protect me, and that's not just bad for you, it's bad for the people we were meant to help."
"So what? You just took a whole 24 hours to weigh the ups and downs of being a regular Joe and decided it was more fun being a superhero?"
"You know that's not it. How can we be together if the cost is your life, or the lives of others?" He looked down into her eyes, then took her into his arms, holding her close, holding her tightly. "I know. I couldn't tell you. I wasn't sure - if I could do it if I woke up with you one more morning."
She was trying so hard to hold back the tears, trying to understand. "I understand. - So, what happens now?'"
"The Oracles are giving us back the day, turning back time, so I can kill Mohra before his blood makes me mortal."
"When?"
"Another minute."
She started crying, this wasn't right. It wasn't right! They were meant to be together. She knew it! "A minute? No. No, it's not enough time!"
"We don't have a choice. It's done."
"How am I supposed to go on with my life knowing what we had? What we could have had?"
"You won't. No one will know but me."
"Everything we did."
"It never happened."
She shook her head in denial at him, "It did. It did. I know it did!" She put her hand over his heart. "I felt your heart beat."
"Buffy..." He leaned down and kissed her softly, gently, pouring all his love for her into the tender kiss.
She looked at the clock the minute was almost over, "No! Oh God. It's not enough time." She watched him as the tears fell from his eyes.
"Shh, please. Please."
They clung tightly, desperately to each other, basking in the warmth, hearing each other's hearts pounding furiously as they cried.
"Please, please." He whispered hoarsely.
"No. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget." She insisted, she told him, told herself.
**
But she did forget... She looked up at Angel and knew that it was only she that had forgotten. The Powers, the Oracles had only taken the memory away from her, not him. 'How could he?' her mind screamed at her. Her heart was breaking, she dropped her eyes from him again, she couldn't look at him. Her heart broke a little more, she didn't want to break his heart any more then it already was, but...
She felt his hand on her chin raising her face once more up to his.
"Angel, I... I..."
"I know Buffy... I knew even before you did..."
She searched his eyes, trying to find the truth, trying to see the truth in them. And she saw it there.
"We have to talk about this..."
"We will Buffy, but now is not the time..."
"I..." Then she was hit with an echo from Faith that was so pained filled that it made her knee's buckle. She would have fallen to the ground if Angel hadn't caught her. She looked at him again and he gave her a tender, gentle, understanding smile.
The kind of smile, that made her remember why she had fallen in love with him in the first place.
The kind of smile, that made her remember why she loved him still.
She was shattering into a million tiny pieces in the same way as the bar crumbled to pieces beneath her grasping hand. She had seen it all and knew it wasn't a fantasy, knew it was a memory. How could he have done it? How? God how could she fight him for Buffy now? Fight him knowing what he had done for Buffy and humanity, knowing what he had given up, knowing what they could have had? Knowing that they, Angel and Buffy could have that now, now that his soul was permanent. Fight him after all he had done for her. She stood frozen, staring sightlessly across the room.
She felt the cold creeping through all of her, her blood, her skin, through every cell. She was dying inside. Dying because she knew she couldn't stand in their way. She would leave, they belonged together, she wouldn't get in their way, it was the right thing to do, the only thing she could do.
Both of them had given her so much, they had showed her all that life had to offer, all that was there just for the asking.
She had made her decision, but still she remained frozen, her own voice in her head still screaming, 'Mine'.
She felt cold, so cold, she had never felt this cold.
Then a warm body was pressing up against her. Warm hands were sliding up her arms, one gently grasping her hand pulling it away from the bar. Then the warm hands were sliding up around and behind her neck, pulling her head down.
She stared down into golden-hazel eyes and then a warm mouth was pressing up against hers, whispering one word over and over to her against her lips, "Yours."
Clotho was still trying to capture her lover's deliciously wandering hands; she was just about to the point where she was ready to throw Lilith over her shoulder and fade them home, right into the bedroom to be exact. She glanced up and saw Faith out of the corner of her eye. The look on Faith's face sent a shudder through her. She tried to move away from Lilith and over to Faith, Lilith captured her and planted a very wet kiss on her neck.
"Lilith!"
Lilith jerked her head back from her mate's neck; something in Clotho's tone instantly sobered her up. She looked at her lover and then owedowed her gaze to Faith. Lilith knew that look on Faith's face intimately, had seen it reflected back at her in the mirror a long time ago when she had thought she had lost Clotho.
Clotho knew that look as well, she had seen it on Lilith's face all those many years ago when Lilith thought she had lost her. What the hell had happened? Before either of the Immortals could make a move towards Faith, Buffy was there, pressing herself against Faith. Pulling Faith's hand away from the shattered piece of the bar she was gripping tightly. Wrapping her arms around Faith's neck, pulling her head, her mouth down to her own.
One word came to Lilith and Clotho over and over again softly, "Yours." Without saying a word, Clotho waved her hand and faded the Slayers to the cottage by the lake.
Neither noticed that they were no longer at Mars' home. All Buffy noticed was how cold Faith's skin felt under her hands, how Faith was trembling against her, the soft growling rumbling out of Faith's chest, the taste of both her and Faith's tears upon her still whispering lips. What she noticed most of all though was that Faith had made no move to embrace her back and from the moment she had touched her, Faith had totally closed down the connection between them. The only thing Buffy felt coming from Faith was empty coldness, as if Faith had retreated so far away that there was nothing left.
She felt Faith's cold hands sliding up the length of her arms and her heart leapt and a whimper of joy escaped in the gaps between her repeated word. It quickly turned to an anguished sob that she tried to stifle as she felt those same cold hands grasp hers, pulling them away and off of an equally cold neck, as Faith stepped back and out of her reach.
"No. Not yours. Not mine. His." There was no hate, no anguish, nothing but a finality in Faith's tone. Faith wondered as she said the words if this... this coldness, emptiness was how it felt when you were dead. How it felt when you were dead inside.
"You're wrong. I am yours and you are mine. I am not his and I don't think I ever was. And I don't want to be his. I am right where I want to be, right where I will always want to be, where I belong. With you."
"It's okay. You don't have to pretend. I felt everything you felt, I felt it when you remembered why you fell in love with Angel, why you're still in love with him."
"You're right. About all of it, except the last part. After I remembered it all, I felt my heart break for what he had done for me, for what he had given up. And then I felt even worse, felt my heart break for him even more because... because even knowing what he did... knowing that his soul is permanent now... That it wasn't him I wanted. And when he smiled at me, I knew that I didn't have to say anything. Knew that he already knew and that he was okay with it. And yes I was reminded of why I fell in love with him and why I still love him. Why I love him still Faith, NOT why I'm still IN love with him. Just love him as a friend. The only person I am in love with is you. Not him. You, just you!"
"Maybe. But if he had stayed human we wouldn't be here right now. You two would be together like you should be."
"No, Faith, I don't think so. I don't think we would have still been together right now. I don't believe that Angel and I were meant to be together. I think that you and I would still be here, still be together. I think if I wasn't so scared, so in denial of what it was I was feeling for you all those years ago that you and I would be celebrating our third anniversary right now. You and I are where we're supposed to be, how we're supposed to be. And even more importantly where I want to be. With you, only you."
"It's not that I don't believe you Buffy. But you said it yourself, you are the Queen of Denial. I think that is exactly what you're in right now Buffy, denial. So I'm going to do the right thing. I'm taking the choice away from you. I owe you and Angel that much. I owe you both so much more than even that. I owe it to both of you to walk away. Let you both have the chance that you've been denied twice now. You know I'm right Buffy. It's the right thing. You and Angel belong together. Don't blow it, take the chance, you'll see I'm right Buffy. You know deep down in your heart, in your soul, I'm right about this Buffy."
With every Buffy that Faith uttered, she felt like a stake was being driven into her heart. She knew that she was Faith's B, not Buffy. And Faith, using her full name, struck terror in her, deep down to her soul. Buffy couldn't believe what she was hearing, couldn't believe that Faith was saying this. Saying it with absolutely no emotion, her voice hollow as if it were some recording that was unable to capture the nuances of tones and feelings.
She looked into Faith's eyes, which were almost pitch-black they were so dark and she saw nothing there. No life, no love, no nothing. They weren't even lifeless, lifeless at least would have been an indication that there was something, some kind of feeling, they were just bottomless and empty. Faith had retreated so deep and so far away that Buffy was terrified that she wouldn't be able to reach her. This wasn't the Faith she knew, wasn't any Faith she had ever known. The Faith she knew was passionate, alive, vibrant, no matter what emotional state she was in, the woman standing in front of her speaking with dead, unemotional, almost robotic calmness wasn't any Faith she had ever known.
Faith moved stiffly towards her bag on the floor of wherever the hell they were. She had no idea how they had gotten here, she didn't care, nothing mattered to her. She was just cold, empty, and nothing seemed real anymore to her. All of it, all she was feeling, all of her was securely locked away behind the steel wall in her mind. It was all too much, all the feelings, all that she, they, had gone through in the last seven months, and what was happening now. So she had retreated, further than ever before to that safe, numb place in her mind. No one could touch her there, it was cold there, so cold, but she had been cold before, in time she knew she would get use to it again. This was the right thing to do she owed it to them. She owed it to Buffy and Angel to do this for them. Once again, like she had for most of her life, the Dark Slayer left herself, her own needs, her own feelings out of the equation.
"This is not your choice to make Faith." Buffy's voice was hard but loving. She waited for Faith to turn around and face her but she didn't. "Did you hear me Faith? This is not your choice. Have you heard anything at all that I said to you? Anything?"
"I heard you Buffy. I heard and understood everything you said."
"Then, I don't understand. What is it? Don't you believe me? Don't you believe I love you? That I'm in love with you. I don't understand. Faith, I don't understand..."
Faith kept her back to Buffy, she wanted to turn around, Buffy sounded so small, so sad, so hurt, so scared. She couldn't though, her body refused to listen to her heart. She was doing the right thing. She had to be strong. "I believe that is what you believe Buffy. I believe you're doing this because you don't want to hurt me. Because of what happened with Glory and J-Jon... with him. So I am making the choice to walk away, because I know you won't." Faith continued to walk towards what she could see was the bathroom.
"What are you doing? Where are you going? You can't just walk away from this; we're not done talking about this Faith!" Buffy was panicking. She didn’t' understand what was happening. Mentally she was banging up against the blocks that Faith had put up, trying to force her to open the connection between them.
"I'm cold. I'm going to change. And we are done talking." She stopped at the door to the bathroom, she took a deep breath, but she didn't turn around. "It's over Buffy. We are over."
Buffy flew across the room, her arms going around Faith from behind. She pulled Faith's stiff, cold body back against her, tears streaming down her face, dripping from her chin onto Faith's bare shoulder.
Faith felt each and every single teardrop fall onto her shoulder. They burned her, scorched her to her soul. Still though, they could not dispel the emptiness, the coldness inside of her.
"It's...it's...not... It's..." She stopped, pulling in a ragged breath; she was choking on her tears, unable to get her voice above a hoarse whisper. "It's not over! Do you hear me Faith?!!? It's not! I won't let it be over! This isn't your choice. I am in love with you. You are in love with me. It is not over! There is no way I will believe this is over. It will never be over between us Faith, ever. Open yourself up, let yourself look inside of me and you'll know that I am not lying, not in denial. For the first time in my life, I know exactly what I want. Who I want. I have no doubts, no second thoughts, no regrets. I am exactly where I want to be, with exactly who I want to be with. Open yourself back up to me baby please, open yourself up and see there is no one else I want to be with."
She was doing the right thing, she was, she knew she was. But why was she so cold, so empty then? "I can't Buffy. I can't open myself back up to you because I didn't shut myself off from you. Our connection broke right after you remembered and you touched me. So you see I am right. It is Angel you belong with not me." She pulled out of Buffy's embrace and stepped into the bathroom. She turned around and faced Buffy, steeling herself against Buffy's crying eyes, steeling herself against her mate's pain. "It's over between us Buffy. It's over."
She turned around and softly closed and locked the door to the bathroom and on her soul. She moved away from the door hoping that the distance would block out the sound of Buffy's almost silent sobs. She changed into black jeans and a t-shirt quickly. It exhausted her, she felt lost and so very alone, so very cold. The broken connection was what had finally convinced her that what she was doing was right. She turned back around, bracing herself to leave the bathroom, to leave Buffy forever; she took half a step towards the door, which seemed miles away and...
She crumbled to the floor, drawing her knees up tightly to her chest and started to rock in pain and denial. 'B, YOUR MINE, I'M YOURS', her voice in her head kept screaming, throwing itself up against the steel barrier she had erected trying to break free, trying to be heard, trying to open the connection between itself and it's mate. The tears ran down her face and felt like hail as they splashed down onto her bare arms.
Cold.
It was so cold here.
...Ever and always ~ Give me ever and always ~ Body and soul ~ Yesterday ~ Today ~ Tomorrow ~ Body and soul ~ Give me ever the years you wept inside when cold ~ All the sins and secrets never cried ~ All the dreams you kept and the tears you sold ~ Give me ~ Give me ever and always ~ Ever and always ~ Body and soul – Sisters of Mercy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Continued in Chapter XXIX – Crown of Scars