So Damn Domestic

The Same Day. BPOV


“Hey,” I hear someone say behind me. I’m in the shed again, sitting with the Tiers, the adults not the puppies. No, the puppies are sleeping. It turns out they don’t like being locked up in plastic crates and they tore through it. They seem pretty happy in the shed though once Faith gave them some of Tucker’s toys. The mom and the dad are anxious and pacing a lot. I guess they want to get back to their babies. They haven’t sat down in over three hours. They’re just pacing, back and forth and back and forth. There’s probably going to be a worn path on the floor where they keep pacing.


“Hey,” I say back and I don’t turn around. I know who is it and I really don’t want to talk to her. I’ve been avoiding alone time with her ever since I got home. But the kids are gone, Joseph is asleep, Faith is tryin convince Giles that sending the Tiers there is a good idea, Willow went home and the other slayers went back to the hotel to get some sleep. I guess they’ve been taking turns on who gets to stay and help Willow out with the kids and today is Holly’s turn. And even though Willow isn’t here she still volunteered to stay since Faith is busy and I guess I’m helpless or something since she thinks I can’t take care of a baby by myself.


I talked to Sissy last night and I got the scoop on what’s been going on with Holly the last couple of years. I guess she’s still in love with me or at least she thinks she’s in love with me. Sissy says it could be the real thing ‘cause Holly has a short attention span when it comes to the girls she likes but she hasn’t stopped liking me. I guess I made a really good impression on her, huh? Once I found that out I decided to not be alone with her if I could help it. I would never cheat on Faith, but I don’t want to give her the opportunity to try and get me to cheat. And I really don’t want to hear what she has to say to me. She walks in the shed and shuts the door. She sits down on the floor about two feet away from me.


“I know you don’t want me here, but Giles asked me to come because of the full moon. I tried to get out of coming because I knew you wouldn’t want me here.” I don’t know why she’s telling me this. I don’t really care that she came. I just don’t want to be alone with her. It is better that she came because she is a good slayer, and she knows how to handle herself in deadly situations and with the full moon we needed girls like that since me and Faith weren’t here.


“Holly, you don’t have to explain anything to me. I know why you came, and it is good that you’re here. You’re a very skilled slayer and we needed you. It’s just, after what was said the last time we talked I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be alone right now.” She gets an expression on her face…I can’t really describe it, but I think she’s getting her hopes up for something that isn’t going to happen. “I’m still with Faith, I still love Faith, and I’m not going to leave her for anyone else, Holly. So please, don’t start.” Her face falls a little and she looks down at her fingernails. Great, now she’s all upset. I never meant to hurt her feelings but she needs to get it through her thick skull that we are never going to be an item. The most we’ll ever be is friends.


“But you’re not happy here, Buffy. You left for a couple days. You were depressed for weeks. This place is like a poison for you. I can get you out of it.” She moves a little closer to me and I tense. The Tiers sense the tension and they’re getting even more uncomfortable. “It’ll hurt for a while but I can make it better.” She keeps getting closer and closer to me. I don’t say anything because I’m trying to figure out if she’s being serious or not. From the intense look in her eyes I’d say she’s pretty serious. But I don’t know what to say to her, my mind is a complete blank. I’m actually hoping Joseph will wake up so Faith will come out here and get me because my legs don’t want to work either. “Let’s go someplace far away from here,” she whispers so softly I almost don’t here her, and she leans in to kiss me.


“No,” I whisper and our lips touch. I try to pull back but she grabs the back of my neck and forces me to stay here. I don’t know why I can’t get my muscles to work. I want to push her off me but I can’t. It’s like my body is paralyzed against her or something like that. When she pulls back from the kiss and has a small smug looking smile on her face I can move again. I slap her across the face and move away from her so there’s about four feet between us. She looks shocked and angry but I really don’t care. I just want her to go away. “I told you no.” The intense look in her eyes keeps building and building until something in her finally snaps.


“This is all your fault!” she screams and jumps up off the ground and I do the same. I’m not going to just sit here and let her yell at me for something she did. What the fuck did I do? “I was happy before I met you! Ever since that night we went out to the club I can’t get you out of my mind. I close my eyes and I see you. You haunt my dreams. I see your face everywhere I go. I can’t even have sex without thinking about you. I never used to be like this, I never used to care, but I care about you. I want you more then I’ve ever wanted anything. And it’s all your fault.” She isn’t screaming anymore but her voice is as hard as stone and she has a very dangerous look in her eyes. The Tiers are freaking out now, barking and lunging at us. I hope Willow made those chains extra strong.


“No Holly, it isn’t my fault. I-”


“Yes it is! You did something to me. You got through somehow, and it’s ruined my life. I’ve never wanted to sleep with a married woman, Buffy. I’d never even think of doing it with someone else, but with you…it’s like nothing else matters, as long as I have you. And I can’t make it stop!” She lunges forward and before I can stop her she slams me up against the wall and holds my wrists on either side of my head and presses one of her thighs against my crotch. “It is your fault,” she whispers but it’s stern and frightening. Why did I come out here in the first place? Oh right, to get away from Holly. Worked out well, don’t you think? “I wish I didn’t need you. ‘Cause I hate you, but I need you. Buffy, I need you.”


“But you can’t have me Holly, I’m with Faith. I don’t love you. I don’t even like you. Let me go before I have to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you Holly. You just need to realize you can never have me. You just need to move on. But I-”


“You think I haven’t tried? Do you really think I want to live my life with you haunting every fucking moment of it? I can’t do anything without thinking of you. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t slay, I can’t even brush my Goddamn teeth without you being in my thoughts. I hate you for doing this to me. But I need you so much.” She leans in and kisses me again. I try to fight against her but she’s really strong and she’s so angry it’s making her even stronger. I feel her being ripped off of me and I stumble forward a little. I look up and see Faith holding onto Holly from behind. One hand is holding onto Holly’s long hair, the other is gripping the knife that she’s holding to Holly’s throat. The blade is really high on her throat, right under her chin.


“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t slit your fucking throat,” she says right into Holly’s ear. She starts to struggle but Faith presses the knife harder against her and pulls just a tiny bit and a small stream of blood runs down Holly’s neck. Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God. What do I do? How do I stop her from doing this? Force isn’t going to do anything. That could get more then one of us hurt. Luckily I’ve been living with Faith for ten years so I know all of her weak spots, and I am willing to hit the weakest one. I walk up right next to her, nice and slow so she doesn’t think I’m going to try and take the knife from her and I keep my hands in plain view.


“Baby, baby, think of the kids, alright? Do you really want to go back to prison for killing her? Come on, baby, put the knife down.” She doesn’t look at me, or listen to me, instead she just keeps staring at Holly, and she grips her hair a little tighter.


“Get away from me, Buffy. This is between me and her.” She presses the knife harder against Holly’s throat, any harder and the knife is going to start going through her neck. “You’re the bitch, aren’t you? The intern who kept followin her around the school and sayin how good she could have it with you, that’s you, isn’t it?” Holly lets out a very strangled ‘yes’ and Faith pulls the knife a little more. She really is going to kill her.


“Faith, stop! She isn’t worth it. Think about it Faith, if you kill her you’ll lose everything. You’ll lose our babies, and you’ll lose me. Please, baby, just give me the knife.” She doesn’t say anything but she loosens the pressure on Holly’s throat. “You’ve changed so much, Faith, don’t make it all for nothing. People still think you’re that uncontrollable, psycho slayer, don’t prove them right. Do you want all those assholes to be able to say they saw this coming and they knew it was going to happen? Faith, give me the knife.” Her breathing is harder now and her face is getting pretty red. Faster then the blink of an eye she pulls the knife away and those it across the room and gets buried in the wall. She pushes Holly out the open door.


“Get the fuck outta Nevada and don’t come back.” Holly gets up off the ground and runs as fast as she can. I look over at Faith with tears in my eyes. She’s still so pissed off she’s shaking. I gently touch her shoulder and she looks at me and the anger fades away. She wraps her arms around me and I start crying. Watching your wife almost kill a person will do that to you. She soothes me and gently strokes my hair and I slowly calm down. I am so glad she stopped when she did because I cannot lose her.


FPOV


I’ve been on the phone with Giles for fifteen minutes now. I’m tryin to talk him into taking the Tiers, but he isn’t biting. He keeps saying that too many things can go wrong, that too many people could get hurt. I keep telling him that they’ll be in a school with slayers and they’ll be declawed ‘cause they’re legs are really fuckin long and they slash at ya before they try to bite. I also remind him that these things don’t attack people unless they feel threatened. And he keeps saying that they’ll probably feel threatened all the time. So this conversation is going nowhere. He doesn’t want to take them, and we can’t send them back and we can’t let them go.


“So what the fuck am I supposed to do, Giles?” I finally explode. I’m not good at haggling, never have been never will be. “We can’t let them go, and we can’t send ‘em back to Germany. So tell me what the fuck I’m supposed to do.” I could really use a fuckin cigarette right now. I can actually hear him cleaning his fucking glasses. And he just tossed them onto his desk. He’s getting pissed but so am I.


“I suggest you do your job and eliminate the serious threat. Those things, those Tiers, may not attack humans on a regular basis but they have the potential to. They are three times as dangerous as the vampires you slay on a nightly basis. If we bring them here and they do escape girls could die. These girls deserve to feel safe in their own home, and this facility is their home until they graduate, you know that. I’m sickened that you’d even suggest bringing them here. They need to be put down. Now if you can’t do it for whatever reasons, if you’ve grown attached to them I can have one of the other slayers do it for you.” Defeat is not something I deal with well, and I don’t go down without a fight.


“What gives you the right to decide that? Oz was a serious threat three days outta the month, but we helped him. We’re slayers, Giles, not God, we don’t just get to decide that something has to die because it has potential for hurting people. The only time these things attack is when they feel threatened or if they think their young are threatened, as long as the girls stay away from the cage there won’t be any problems.” I know I’m right, but he thinks he’s right and once Giles has that in his mind there’s no changing it.


“Those are completely different circumstances. A werewolf is a person, they can’t help what is happening to them. Tiers are born evil. And I’ve no idea where you got your information but they do attack people, and on a regular basis, and they become extremely aggressive during the cycle of the full moon. They can become easily agitated,” they’re not the only ones. “And they will attack anything that gets in their reach. Do you really expect me to put my students at risk? Are you willing to put your family at risk to save the lives of demons?” He does have a point. And what did Willow read? Or is Giles lying just so I’ll kill them? I don’t know but this whole thing is pointless. He doesn’t want them and there’s nowhere else for them to go, and we can’t keep them here.


“Fine Giles, I give. I don’t know what else to do,” I’m calmer now but I’m still pissed, but so is he. “Since you know so much about ‘em how should I kill ‘em? What’s the fastest way?” He tells me how and I don’t like it. There’s gonna be a big mess, but he says it’s the only way. We exchange goodbyes and I hang up the phone. I don’t think I’ve ever been so pissed off after getting off the phone with someone. Well, my freshmen English teacher when he called my house and said if I didn’t come to class he’d fuckin drop me. That’s when I decided to just drop outta school.


I walk over to the weapons chest and pull out a knife. The blade’s six inches long, sharpest knife I got in the house and I keep all my knives sharp. Giles said the only way to kill one of these things is to slice the throat. So like I said, it’s gonna get messy and it’ll be a big clean up. I probably shouldn’t do it at the house. No, I can’t because of the blood. That nasty smell will never go away. I’ll trank ‘em and take ‘em back to the woods and do it there. I’ll have to be really fuckin careful ‘cause me and B have never gone too far off the trails. We don’t know how deep those woods are or what’s inside them. Demons and vamp yeah, but what kind of demons. Until last night I didn’t even know a Tiers exist. And what makes this even worst is I gotta kill those puppies. How are you supposed to kill a puppy? I mean, they are demons but these don’t look like nasty demons, they look like cute little puppies.


I put the knife through my belt and cover it up with my shirt ‘cause I don’t want to kids seein it. They don’t even know the demons are out there. Well, I think B said something to Mattie ‘cause he let Addy go with him willingly when he went to Lucas’ this morning. Right after breakfast he said he was goin over there and he told her ‘if you’re comin hurry up’ and she was dressed in five minutes tops. That’s never happened before. They’ve been gone all morning. I’d rather B not tell him when we got demons locked up in the shed ‘cause I don’t want him to worry but I think this was for the better. ‘Cause if Addy saw us goin out there every hour or so to check up on the demons then she’d want to see what we’re doin and that coulda gotten dangerous.


Damn, those things are barking really fuckin loud. I wonder what’s up? Did they pick up Tucker’s sent or some shit like that? They’ve been fine since they woke up. Ok, well not fine ‘cause they’ve been pacin a lot and on edge and they drank a lot of water, but that’s ‘cause of the drug. I think they’re so anxious ‘cause they wanna get back to their pups. I’d be nervous as hell and pacin around if someone kidnapped me, chained me inna shed and I had four kids at home who are probably gettin hungry. They didn’t touch the food I gave ‘em earlier. Shit, their barkin is getting louder. I better get out there before the neighbors start to complain.


I run out the backdoor and start walking towards the shed. I wonder where B went. I haven’t seen her since I got on the phone with Giles. I think that Holly chick is a bit ‘star struck’ or whatever. Sometimes the younger slayers who haven’t met her can get a little...annoying. They follow her around and act like she’s a fuckin god or something. She gets pretty irritated by it. But there’s somethin different about Holly. I don’t really wanna say anything bad about her since she was good to me when we were at the slayer school and I did make-out with her younger brother. I don’t know if she knows that or not but I should probably just assume that she does and I’d rather not have that brought up.


“Yes it is!” Fuck, is that Holly screaming? Sure sounds like it. And it’s comin from the shed. Hmmm, maybe she’s on a cell phone or something. I so gotta listen to this. “You did something to me. You got through somehow, and it’s ruined my life.” So someone got through her walls huh? I hear some rumors about Holly when I was at the slayer school. According to them she’s the fuck and run kinda girl, and she goes out of her way not to care about people. I guess her childhood wasn’t the best. “I’ve never wanted to sleep with a married woman, Buffy.” Wait...what the fuck. Is she talkin to B?


“I’d never even think of doing it with someone else, but with you…it’s like nothing else matters, as long as I have you. And I can’t make it stop!” I guess she fuckin is. I open the door real slow so they won’t hear it. Not that they could over the noise of those fuckin demons barking. Not only are they barking but they’re tryin to get to B and Holly. They’re lungin at ‘em and clawin at the ground so hard that they’re diggin out the wood. It seems to go in slow motion as Holly slams B up against the wall. She pins B’s wrists against the wall and I think one of her thighs is pressed up against B’s pussy, but I can’t really tell from here. “It is your fault.” She says it real fuckin slow like it’s a threat or something. “I wish I didn’t need you. ‘Cause I hate you, but I need you. Buffy, I need you.” I’m gonna kill her. I’m gonna fuckin kill her. I reach behind me and pull the knife out.


“But you can’t have me Holly, I’m with Faith. I don’t love you. I don’t even like you. Let me go before I have to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you Holly. You just need to realize you can never have me. You just need to move on. But I-” B’s made it loud and clear Holly isn’t what she wants, but it wouldn’t matter either way. If I ever walked in on B fuckin someone else I’d kill ‘em for putting their filthy hands on my wife. And Holly is being rough with her, forcing her to stay against that wall. I’m gonna fuckin slice her throat open and watch the bitch bleed out.


“You think I haven’t tried? Do you really think I want to live my life with you haunting every fucking moment of it? I can’t do anything without thinking of you. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t slay, I can’t even brush my Goddamn teeth without you being in my thoughts. I hate you for doing this to me. But I need you so much.” This bitch is starting to sound like Spike. Then Holly kisses her and I hear B tryin to get away but she can’t. I’m gonna slice her throat and cut her fuckin lips off. So why are you just fuckin standing here? Get a move on it asshole! She’s hurting your fucking wife! I walk forward and grab the bitch by her hair and pull as hard as I can. I think some of it ripped out but I don’t care. I hold the knife to her throat really hard and I know she knows what it is.


“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t slit your fucking throat,” I say right in her ear. She starts strugglin and I press the knife harder against her throat and slice just a tiny little bit so she knows I’m not fucking around. I can smell the blood flowin out of her but I don’t look at it. I can’t look away from the expression on her face. She’s so fuckin scared, I think she’s gonna piss herself. I hear the Tiers gettin louder and the chains sound like they’re gonna snap any second. Good, I hope they do. I can grab B and get us outta here and lock this bitch in here with those things.


“Baby, baby, think of the kids, alright? Do you really want to go back to prison for killing her? Come on, baby, put the knife down,” B says but I don’t pay attention. I know what she’s tryin to do and it’s not gonna work. She’s tryin to get to me, tryin to mind fuck me, but I’m not gonna let her. I tighten my hold on Holly’s hair and pull her head back a little more to get a better look at her neck. I wonder what she’s thinking right now, knowing that her life is in my hands and I could so easily take it away. I wonder how she fuckin feels knowin that this is all her own doing. She needs to learn to keep her fuckin hands off my wife.


“Get away from me, Buffy. This is between me and her.” I know she isn’t going to butt out but that’s fine with me. Oh my God, this is the bitch, isn’t it? The only time Buffy woulda met Holly is at the slayer school. She’s the bitch who kept harassing Buffy? Oh she is so gonna fucking die. But I need to make sure, I can’t punish her for shit she didn’t do. “ “You’re the bitch, aren’t you? The intern who kept followin her around the school and sayin how good she could have it with you, that’s you, isn’t it?” She lets out a little yes, and I get even more pissed if it’s possible. I pull the knife a little more and her eyes get bigger.


“Faith, stop!” B screams. She sounds so fuckin desperate. “She isn’t worth it. Think about it Faith, if you kill her you’ll lose everything. You’ll lose our babies, and you’ll lose me. Please, baby, just give me the knife.” Fuck, leave it up to B to get through my thick skull a little. But I can’t just let this bitch go, not after what she did to Buffy. I ease up on Holly’s throat so she can breath a little easier.


“You’ve changed so much, Faith, don’t make it all for nothing. People still think you’re that uncontrollable, psycho slayer, don’t prove them right. Do you want all those assholes to be able to say they saw this coming and they knew it was going to happen? Faith, give me the knife.” God dammit, Buffy! I hate that she’s right. People will say that about me, they’ll never trust me again. And I will go to prison for the rest of my life. I throw the knife as hard as I can against the wall and at least half of the blade goes through. I push Holly out the door and just glare at her. She looks up at me with tears in her eyes.


“Get the fuck outta Nevada and don’t come back.” She jumps up and runs away. I’m still so pissed off I don’t know what to do with myself. My whole body is shakin ‘cause I’ve got all this rage inside and it’s got nowhere to go. I feel somethin touch my shoulder and I fight the urge to take a swing at it. I look over and see Buffy. She’s got tears runnin down her face and she looks so fuckin scared. I did that, I put that there. I can’t believe I fuckin did that. I wrap my arms around her and hold her close. Her buries her face in my neck and cries her fuckin eyes out. The Tiers stop barkin and I glance over at ‘em. They’re just starin at us, which is really fuckin weird. It takes a while but B finally calms down and we go back in the house. I hope she’s ok. I really don’t want her to be afraid of me because of some stupid bitch.


BPOV


It’s been two days since the Holly incident. She did take Faith’s advice and she left Nevada. She went back to the slayer school and Giles called to ask what the hell happened to her neck. I guess she wasn’t talking. Faith told him what happened and he was pissed but he understood. He was actually kind of surprised that Faith was able to hold back, he said that if he saw someone trying to force me to get physical with them he’d kill them. But I don’t need to be protected like that. I can take care of myself. I did have a little bit of a plan going before Faith stepped in. I was going to force myself to calm down and make Holly think I was consenting and then when she loosened her grip I was going to punch her in the face very hard and kick her ass and make her leave my property.


Faith and I haven’t said a word to each other about it and I don’t want to. It’s in the past now, there’s nothing we can do about it and she was able to stop herself. We don’t need to talk about it, we’re fine. We’ve been relaxing a lot though. Faith didn’t have to kill those demons like she thought she would. Willow sent them to one of the hell dimensions where they’ll be happy. I know she would have been really depressed and pissed if she had to kill the demons. I don’t know why she was so against killing them. Sure it’s different with every demon but those were killers so killing them would have been justified. I don’t know what was going on inside Faith’s head and now I don’t have to because they’re gone.


Now that I’m actually getting up and feeding Joseph when he’s hungry I’m completely exhausted. Before I was tired because of the depression or whatever, but not like this. No, this is the exhaustion that a person gets when they have to get up every two hours. Faith is helping out a lot. Sometimes I don’t even have to get out of bed. She’ll bring him to me and I’ll lay on my side and she’ll hold him so he’s facing me and when he’s done she’ll put him back in his basinet if he’s asleep. If he’s not then I usually stay up with him until he does finally doze off.


We’re in bed even though it’s only nine o’ clock. Now that the full moon scare is over we’ll all pretty fried and we need some rest. Matthew is really tired too. I guess he ended up staying up late every night waiting for the slayers to come to back our house since it was the ‘command post’ and he’d listen in on the reports. The kids went to bed half an hour ago and Joseph is asleep but me and Faith are still up. We’re too tired for sex, we both know that. I think she’d actually laugh at me if I suggested it. I still want to feel her though. I guess I’m starting to feel a little insecure again. I don’t know why, I guess it’s because my nerves are fried. So I cuddle up to her and she looks away from the T.V. and into my eyes.


“You ok, baby?” she asks and gives me a little kiss on top of my head. She wraps her arm around me and I snuggle up to her and nuzzle her neck and now I’m feeling much better. I just mumble a little reply and she giggles ‘cause her neck can be very ticklish sometimes. But she calms down and we go silent again. I like our quiet time together, it’s soothing, comforting. I don’t know why but it is. I absently draw little circles on her stomach with my fingertips and I accidentally brush against her scar. That used to be such a sore spot for us, well me mostly. She got over it way before I got over the guilt. I avoided touching it, looking at it for so long. But now we’re better and she doesn’t care when I gently trace it with my fingertip.


“Faith?” I ask and she let’s out a little ‘hmm?’ I smile a small smile and give her neck a little kiss. “Our anniversary is coming up in a couple of months. Do we have any idea what we’re going to do to celebrate? I mean, it’s our very first wedding anniversary, I think we should do something.” Her breathing stops for a couple of seconds. I guess she forgot about it. I know we’re not going to be able to go away on a weekend getaway or something like that because Joseph will only be three months old. Our anniversary is on May twenty-first. There are a lot of places we could go out to dinner. We only live forty-five minutes away from Vegas, so trust me there are plenty of romantic restaurants we can get a reservation at.


“Well...” she pauses and shits her weight around a little bit. That should never be taken as a good sign. She has no idea. She probably forgot all about it. I’m a little hurt but I can’t get too mad about it. With the craziness of everything I’m surprised I remembered it. “Joey is gonna switch to the bottle in a couple of weeks.” That’s right, I totally forgot about that. The colostrum is going be gone and replaced with the breast milk and that’s when I’m going to switch to the formula.


“So we are leaving that Friday, which is the twenty-second and we are going to spend the weekend in Vegas at the Bellangio hotel in the pent house suite. We’re going to dinner at Prime Steakhouse on Friday night, Le Cirque on Saturday, and on Sunday we’ll order room service and just stay in bed all day long. I also signed us up to do a bunch of stuff, like getting massages and stuff like that, but we don’t’ have to if you just want to relax in the room.” I look up at her in awe. When...what...huh?


“When did you do all of this? You have everything planned out, when did you find the time?” We’ve been so busy lately I have no idea when she would have to time to do this. But you never know, a second ago I thought she had forgotten all about our anniversary, and then I find out she has it all planned out. Did she plan our outfits too? I probably wouldn’t be surprised at this point.


“A couple hours before our bachelorette parties. I was driving by the strip and I saw the hotel and it’s amazing, you’re really gonna love it. So I called 4-1-1, got their number, and made all the reservations before anyone else could. This is one of the best hotels in all of Vegas, and there will be nothing but the best for my wife.” Aw, she’s so corny, but it’s sweet. “I was gonna wait to tell you but this way you have more time to go shopping. The Prime Steakhouse and Le Cirque are formal, so you’ll have to buy some new dresses, if you want.” Wow, I get to go shopping too. This is the best anniversary ever. We should have it everyday. She turns off the T.V. and we scoot down the bed a little more so we’re laying down all the way instead of slanting like we were.


“What did I do to deserve you?” I ask and look into her eyes. She smiles and a little and I kiss one of her dimples. I love her dimples, they’re just so damn cute. She knows it too, she uses them to her advantage all the time. She doesn’t really get why dimples are so cute, they just are. “I mean it Faith. You are so amazing. I really don’t know what I would do without you.” And I don’t. If Faith weren’t in my life I know I’d be dead. No really, the whole world would actually. It was because of Faith that we figured out the secret to killing the mayor. So if it wasn’t for her we’d all have been eaten by a giant snake. And she’s given me so much. She’s filled my life with love and happiness, and sure everything isn’t great all the time, we have our disagreements, but we get over them.


“I just give you what you deserve, baby. I love you, and you’ve given me so much.” That’s what I was going to say! “You’ve given me a family, that’s something I’ve always wanted. I didn’t have a home before we got together, I have it now, thanks to you.” Aw, she’s such a sweetheart. If I wasn’t so tired she’d so be getting some right about now. But I am too tired and she sounds like she’s starting to doze off. “Let’s go to sleep, ok?” See, I told you. “We wanna get some sleep before moose wakes up.” Yeah, how unflattering is that nickname, huh? That’s one of the little nicknames she’s given to Joseph. She mainly calls him Joey, but moose, bubba, semi, and truck are some of the other things she likes to call him, especially when he’s hungry. He isn’t that big, he just has a lot of rolls.


“I love you too. G’night,” she says it back and then gives me a little kiss on the lips. I return it and then she pulls back and wraps her arms around me a little more securely. I love it when she holds me like this. It makes me feel so safe, like nothing can touch me. Even after all these years together she makes me feel whole. I don’t think I’d have that if I ended up with anyone else. I honestly think I’d still be single or in an unhappy marriage if I were with someone else. Faith is the only one for me, has been ever since I met her. Actually I think it goes beyond that. My love for Angel was real and intense, but there was always something missing. I used to think it was because he couldn’t come out in the day, we were never a ‘normal’ couple, but I know now that it’s because he wasn’t Faith. She’s my other half and I’d be completely lost without her.


FPOV


B sure was surprised when I sprung the anniversary plans on her last night. I thought about saving ‘em for later, ya know, really surprise the hell outta her, but that could’ve proven disastrous. B’s already tryin to plan a shopping date with Willow so they can get her some new outfits. Oh yeah, not just two new dresses, we’re talking a whole new wardrobe basically. I already know what I’m going to get. A nice pinstripe suit. Hey, when else am I gonna get to wear a fuckin pinstripe? Might as well take the opportunity. I have an appointment at some shop to get it tailored next month so we’re all good.


We’ve just been relaxing today for the most part. It’s good to be home, that much is for sure. It was nice to be at the motel with B for a couple of days but I missed my home, I missed my kids, I missed my dog, I just missed this place. I coulda done without the demon scare but that’s just what a slayer’s gotta put up with. B is still always talkin about retiring but I know she won’t be doin that anytime soon. She loves it too much even if she’s too hardheaded to admit it. I see the way she throws herself into it, how she always feels a little relieved afterwards. Nah, she’s not gonna be retiring for a long time.


Mattie’s been buggin me to train him but I really don’t feel like gettin off my ass today. All the other slayers already went home. Well, the interns went back to the slayer school and Kennedy went back to L.A. I guess Cordelia didn’t come out like I thought. I guess things have been a little hectic in L.A. ‘cause they usually never leave each other alone like that. Anyway, I brought up the other slayers ‘cause if they were still here I’d probably ask one of them to train him, but they’re not and I really don’t feel like getting up today. But I have to because it’s a Tuesday which means I gotta get to class.


“Baby, have you seen my black boots?” I yell and drop to my knees to look under the bed, but they’re not here. Where the fuck did they go? I keep all of my shoes in a laundry basket in the corner of my bedroom so I won’t lose any of them and now these ones are gone. And they’re my favorite ones too. I get up and walk over to the dresser and open up my jewelry box. Fuck I have a lot of necklaces, why do I have so many? Right, because I have an obsession with crucifix necklaces. Not just those but Celtic crosses, I love those two. Or would they be considered the same thing? I have no fuckin clue. While I’m digging through those looking for the perfect one I bob my head along with the beat of the song.


I really want to wear those black boots. They go all the way up to my knees and they have these really cool buckles all up and down ‘em. They’re just for decoration but they’re still bad ass. And they’re steel toed and trust me that’s a bonus. But I guess I’ll have to go with my stupid brown ones that only go above my ankle. Maybe I should start buying more then one pair of the same shoes, then this shit will never happen again. Woe, I think I just channeled Buffy. I think I need to lay down. Nah, I’m just playin.


I finally find the necklace I was looking for. It’s my silver Celtic cross that Buffy got me for Christmas one year. She got me a matching knife too. God, I love her so much. She is by far the perfect wife. So I put on the necklace, throw on my boots and run outta my room. I need to leave now or I’m gonna be late. If I’m late one more time I’ll get detention and that would fuckin suck. I’ve been late a lot ‘cause Buffy wasn’t takin care of Joey, but then I got my dad to help me out with that and I got her the breast pump.


And today I don’t even have to drop Addy off at daycare ‘cause for some reason the bus system is shut down today, so my dad picked Mattie up for school and he offered to take Addy too and I took him up on it. I do feel bad leavin B all alone with Joey, but she’ll be fine. Now that the hormones are calming down and she isn’t as crazy she actually wants to be around him now and she’s willing to take care of him. She still grumbles about it a little but so do I.


I run out into the kitchen and B’s makin some breakfast. Pancakes, perfect. I sling my backpack over my shoulder and grab a ziplock baggie outta the drawer and steal two of her pancakes and put ‘em in the baggie. She looks at me like I’m insane or somethin. Then I grab the bottle of syrup and pour it inside the baggie, seal the little zipper thing, and shake it up. And now B’s lookin at me like I’m on crack.


“What? I ask and she just shakes her head. “I gotta run, but I’ll see you this afternoon.” I give her a kiss on the lips and she kisses me back. I would turn it into something way more but I know I’m gonna be late. I walk over to the little bouncy chair thing that she has on the table and give Joey a kiss on the forehead. “And I’ll see you later, Moose.” I run for the door and grab my keys off the end table. “Bye baby, love you!” And I leave. I jump in my car and floor it down the street. I unzip the baggie at the stoplight and inhale them on the drive to the school. Pancakes on the go, I should get this fuckin patented, we could make millions and we’d never have to mooch off’a Giles again.


I screech into the parking lot like some kinda maniac and park in my spot. We’re not assigned spots or anything but all these pimply faced teens know that this is mine. Well, ok, I park here a lot and I guess they think I’ll kick their ass or something ‘cause no one is ever in this spot. And I hate to admit it but I am one of the most popular girls at this school. No joke, I kid you not. Everyone wants a little bit Faith, and there’s not enough of me to go around. Besides I’m taken and I’d never cheat on B with one of these kids. Well, I’d never cheat on B period no matter what the person’s age or looks.


As I walk through the main doors and into the crowded halls I’m hit with a series of ‘hey Faith’ and ‘hi Faith’ and ‘how’s it goin Faithy?’. I walk by a group of jocks and they all stop talking just to watch me walk by and the cheerleaders hangin on their arms all glare at me and then hit their boyfriends on the back of their meatheads. Oh yeah, I still got it. I’m sorry but I am loving this way too much. But there is nothing like having your ego boosted like being wanted by every boy in a school. I’m thirty-three years old and these kids want me bad. It does make me feel sexy. But their just boys, they could never do anything a real man could and no one can do what B can. So knows my body so well that I come every single time. I can’t say that about anyone else.


“Ms. Lehane, cutting it a little close aren’t we?” Ms. Barton says when I walk in the room. I guess the warning bell already rung ‘cause everyone is already in their seats. And what’s with the fuckin ‘tude? I swear this teacher hates me and I have no idea why. I totally think it’s because I’m with Buffy but I can’t prove it. She’s always callin me Mr. Lehane and I’m always correcting her and telling her it’s Mrs. Lehane. She just can’t understand that I’m married, I got the fuckin rings, the wife at home takin care of the kids, what else do I need to prove it, a home video or something? I just don’t get it.


“Well, you know me,” I say nicely. “And it’s Mrs. Lehane,” I say way less nicely and take my seat in the middle of the room. And yes these seats are assigned. If it were up to me I’d be in the back, but it isn’t so I have to sit in the fuckin middle. At least I don’t have to sit up front. Then she starts today’s lecture and I get to pretend to take notes. This class is so fuckin easy. I’m only taking it to get the credits. I never thought I’d be good at this psychology bullshit. I signed up for it to get a little bit of a challenge but it’s pretty fuckin easy. Memorizing concepts, names, facts and vocabulary words and remembering them until the quizzes. Then forgetting all of it to make room for more concepts, names, facts and vocabulary and then cramming at the end of May for the final. And trust me it’s just as boring as it sounds. And finally the fuckin bell rings. I thought this class would never get over with.


“Ok, class, read chapter ten tonight and be prepared to answer some questions about it.” Fuck this is so stupid. She makes everyone participate in this class. It’s like she actually wants us to learn or some shit like that. And now it’s lunch time. I know you’re probably thinkin, one class and then lunch, what the fuck? And it’s because I don’t have a first period. I’m only taking three classes because of the summer school that I did, I don’t need to take a history class. So all I have is an elective class, a math class and an English class. So I have psychology, go to lunch then go to English and then math.


I sit down at my usual table outside with the guys. Well, all except for Will. He moved a couple months ago. His parents finally got a divorce and now he’s living with his mom in Connecticut. I guess she’s got a sister out there or something. Anyway, I sit down and greet the guys. I’m not gonna eat lunch today ‘cause driving really fast while eatin something really sweet has my stomach all grumbley. Holy fuck did I really just say that? So I’m talking to Mike about the usual: comics, and this kid is so full of shit. I’m about to get pissed and really make my point and shatter this kid’s world when Vicky Albert sits down next to me. Only she isn’t just sitting down, she’s sitting so she’s facing me and her legs are spread and she’s wearing a skirt and if I really wanted to I could look down and see what kinda panties she’s wearing but I’m not gonna.


“Hey Faith,” she says with a big toothy grin. Vicky Albert, relatively hot, nice ass, long blonde hair I’d love to pull, but she’s junior which equals a minor so I try not to think about her when she walks by or smiles at me. I usually just say a polite hello and wave and smile back but I’ve never actually talked to her before. “Can I talk to you for a minute, in private?” I nod my head and we stand up at the same time and I follow her to a secluded spot. Ok, not entirely secluded, people can see us but we’re out of earshot.


“This is gonna sound totally retarded, but the junior dance is coming up in two weeks and I was wondering if you’d be my date.” Holy fuckin shit. I’m getting asked out by a high school girl! Wow, never though this would happen. I’ve been asked out by almost every single guy in this school but the girls tend to hate me ‘cause their boys want me. And Vicky is just so...innocent. I never woulda pegged her as the kinda girl who wants me. And I know I’m gonna feel like an ass but I have to reject her ‘cause of the whole MINOR clause.


“Vicky, you’re a nice girl, and you’re wicked hot, but you know I can’t go with you.” She looks so sad. Now I really feel like an ass. “I’m married, and you’re only seventeen. There are plenty of other really hot girls that go here that I’m sure would really like to go with you.” Great, she looks like she’s gonna cry. Fuck, I feel like an ass. But I can’t let her get to me, I can’t let those big tears that are rollin down her cheeks have any affect on my answer and I can’t let those big brown eyes try to sway me into saying yes. “I’ll think about it ok? I’ll give you my answer on Monday, so please don’t be a bug about it.” And just like magic, the tears disappear.


“Don’t worry, I won’t. So, I guess I’ll talk to you later.” And she scampers off, and I check out her ass as she walks away. And I’m not sure but I think the little tease is puttin an extra sway in those hips. Great, this is just great. Now I have to go home and ask my wife if I can go to a school dance with some teenager who I guess has a big crush on me or something. And I was so manipulated back there. The big crocodile tears and those big puppy dog eyes. I am such a fuckin softy. B’s ruined me and this is the first time I’ve gotten mad about it. Hey, that’s actually a good thing. I can just blame the fact that I can’t resist tears on her because she’s the one who did that to me. I am so good at finding ways to turn it around on other people. Now I just hope it works ‘cause if I try to blame this shit on B and she doesn’t buy it I’m gonna be in a lot of trouble.